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Never Again

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Igor Mikhailovich Maslovsky awoke startled and panting. He sat up slightly, gazing into the darkness blindly, and feeling his heart pounding. Another nightmare of losing Svetlana.

Even though it had been three months since Viktor’s arrest and removal from their lives, Igor’s mind still played tricks on him in his sleep.This time it was the drugs, leaving her comatose and Viktor had authorized a procedure that had left her brain dead.

He looked around the empty cold bed helpless, and felt fear coursed through his veins. “Svetlana!? Svetlana!?” He called for her afraid.

Where was she? It was so late! Why was she missing?! He wondered.

“Igor?” She called warily back warrily and he saw her shadow appear at the door. “Dim Lights.” The darkness of the bedroom was replaced by the lights flickering on to their low setting, at master’s orders. She went onto the bed and leaned over to touch him.

Igor felt Svetlana’s hand his cheek, and he quickly looked over to her, watching her face carefully. Making sure she was okay. Reminding himself that there was nothing to worry about. It was only a dream. A terrible, terrible dream, that would never become reality. Not if he had any say in it.

“You’re sweating.” She ran her hand over his flushed face and neck. “And you’ve been tossing and turning for the past few hours. Are you feeling okay? Do you need a doctor?”

“N-no. No doctors… Oh.. Did I wake you?” He avoided her gaze feeling guilty for disturbing her sleep.

“It’s fine. I needed to make sure I memorized tomorrow's script anyway.” She frowned at his avoidant reaction, and brought his chin up to meet her gaze. “Are you alright?” She asked again.

“I’m fine, really. Sorry for bothering you.”

“You weren’t bother me…” Her voice grew quieter. “Was it another night terror?”

“It’s.. It’s nothing.” He layed back down, trying to brush off her concern for him. She had been through enough to have to add him to her list of worries.

“It’s clearly not ‘nothing’. Talk to me.” She replied gently, concern coating her soft tone.

She had plenty of experience with feeling miserable and having a tough time of it. It was good to have someone to talk to. If she didn’t have Igor, she would have crumbled three years ago. She didn’t want him to be alone like she had been.

She tilted her head and gazed at him lovingly, trying one last time, but not wanting to push him too hard. Wanting to remind him he could lean on her. “Hey.. You have me. You know that, right?”

“I.. I just had a nightmare..” He confirmed her suspicions, hoping that was enough, and hesitated, not wanting to subject her to the details. Unfortunately, the way that she was gazing at him was unyielding, and broke him. “That.. That you were... back in the nuthouse…” He sighed and closed his eyes, as she frowned and watched over him. “It’s stupid, right? You’re the one who was subjected to all those sick doctors drugs, not me. You shouldn’t be concerned about me.”

She leaned down, placing her face close to his. “It’s not stupid. You’re worried about me.” She ran a hand through his short hair. “You sweet wonderful man.” She pressed a long gentle kiss to his lips. She pulled away but only slightly, gazing at him. “We’re going to be okay now. He’s in prison and he’s not getting out.”

He nodded reluctantly. “Yes… Viktor is gone..” He looked up at her desperately. “So shouldn't we finally happy?” A pained expression passed his features and she pulled him into a hug. He lowered his head onto her shoulder. “It’s like he’s still here.. Taunting me everytime I close my eyes. I see him everywhere. Work.. Our house..” His voice falters. “Our bed..” He flinched. “Everywhere.” He grimaced. “It isn't fair. It shouldn’t be like this.”

“We’re here now.” She felt the back of his head as she held him in her embrace. “Together. We’re never going to let him or anyone else control us.”

She knew there was nothing she could say that he didn’t already know, but she hoped the reasurace of her being with him, here and now, and the reminder, could at least help slightly.

“Mommy? What’s wrong?”

Svetlana’s eyes slid over to her son, whom Igor had finally managed to recreate this last month. He was rubbing his eyes tired.

“Nothing sweety. Daddy just had another nightmare.”

The boy looked at Igor, then back to his mother. “Should we sing him a song to help daddy sleep?”

“What a lovely idea.” She smiled and patted the bed beside them. After he crawled up onto the bed she commanded, “Lights off.” and the room was once more bathed in back.

She settled herself onto the bed, leaning against the headboard and pulled their bodies onto her, drawing her two boys into a hug and wrapping her arms comfortingly around them. She leaned her chin against the top of Igor’s head, as her son began to sing. She smiled and joined his song, and when she felt Igor’s body relax on top of her and fell asleep once more, she tilted her head down and whispered into his hair,

“No one is going to hurt either of us or our son again. I swear it.”