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To Be Alone

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The crowded hall was filled to the brim with drunken laughter and merriment. Another battle was survived, another celebration that would last well into the night followed it. Even with supplies dwindling, there was enough for a feast that night. A caravan carrying kegs of mead made the journey to the mountains earlier that week. Felix and Sylvain had taken to the woods outside Garreg Mach, and brought down a wild boar the previous night. Spirits were high. It was almost too much; the sounds, the smells, the drastic shift of atmosphere from gloomy to joyful. 

Byleth almost didn’t realize Dimitri had gone missing in his own alcohol-induced haze. One minute, the prince was there, and the next, he couldn’t see the oversized fur cloak anywhere. At first, Byleth didn’t give his absence much thought. However, as time dragged on, and he sobered up enough to walk, he began to wander from the hall in search of him. Deep down, Byleth was worried. After everything Dimitri had gone through, it was hard for him not to be. 

The maternal instinct that usually guided him to the prince was dulled from drink, but eventually Byleth found his way to the Goddess Tower. Walking up the stairs was a bit more of a task than usual, and by the time he reached the top, he wondered why he didn’t simply go to the tower first. It seemed to always be the place they met, where one found the other when they needed to. 

Being a mercenary, Byleth never put much stock in anything like predetermined destiny, or a life planned by the goddess. Yet there was always something about the moments he shared with Dimitri that made him wonder. If Sothis still had the power to speak to him, he would ask her. But knowing the goddess, she likely wouldn’t have given him a straight answer. He imagined her only giggling, and smiling.

Dimitri must not have heard him approach, or choose to ignore the sound of his footsteps. Either way, Byleth was given a rare moment to see the prince relaxed. His shoulders were no longer stiff, and he was leaning on the stone balustrade, looking out over the monastery. While his face was obscured from Byleth, he liked to imagine the prince had a peaceful expression to match the rest of his body language. He almost didn’t want to disturb him. 

“Is there something you need, professor?” Dimitri asked. 

Byleth nearly jumped. “I was unsure if I should disturb you,” he said. “Apologies.”

As Byleth approached him, the prince turned away from the horizon. He didn’t look peaceful as Byleth had imagined him to be. There was a familiar exhaustion across his face. 

“I do not mind your company, professor,” Dimitri said. “You should know that by now.” Even if he was tired, the smile that crossed his lips was a beautiful sight. Byleth felt a warm flush come over him that did not stem from his over-consumption of alcohol. When he found a place beside Dimitri to stand, the prince spoke again. “Are you enjoying the celebration?”

“It’s overwhelming,” Byleth breathed out not a moment later. “And far too lackluster without the guest of honor.”

Dimitri chuckled. “I’m flattered, but our battles are not won by my strength alone.” The sound of his laughter warmed Byleth, and he closed his eyes, wishing the sound would never leave his mind. “If anyone were to be honored at such a feast, it should be the tactician that led us.” His words struck Byleth into silence, and in silence they remained as they both watched the last setting sun.

Stars began to shine through the dusty blue of twilight. The sounds of song and voice carried up from the monastery to the tower. It would be a while before the party died down. 

“Do you think anyone has noticed?” Byleth asked. “That we’ve both left.”

“You noticed,” Dimitri answered. “But even if they do, I’m sure no one will come looking for the both of us.”

The implication of his words sent a chill down Byleth’s spine. He steadied himself, mentally. Alcohol still flowed through his veins. It was likely he was seeing innuendo where there really was none. The prince had never once shown any kind of attraction to him, or anyone for that matter. Sure, their relationship was far different than the typical friendship, but there was also nothing romantic about it. Byleth had grown up reading about romance, of dashing princes sweeping blushing maidens off their feet. Dimitri was a prince, but he was far more wild than any prince in a book. And Byleth, well, was as far from a blushing maiden as he could be. 

There would never be a time where Dimitri would sweep him off his feet and kiss him as if his life depended on it. Byleth’s stomach churned at the thought. It seemed he couldn’t even admit his attraction to himself without feeling sick. Or, perhaps that was also the alcohol. Byleth was not one to drink often, or heavily. 

Suddenly there was a hand touching his cheek, raising his face to meet the eye of the prince. “You look unwell, professor,” he said. Byleth prayed to Sothis for the courage to do something, anything to ease the pain he felt. “It might be best if you got some rest.”

The world was spinning violently, and Byleth had to place a hand over Dimitri’s to steady himself. He could do nothing but nod, and obey. Cold evening air replaced the warm touch of the prince’s hand. Where Dimitri went, Byleth followed, but when he reached the top of the steps that would lead them from the Goddess Tower, his legs would not move any further. 

“I might just kiss you,” he mumbled, more to himself than anything. 

Dimitri turned back around. He towered above him. “Professor?” he asked. “Did you say something?”

Byleth could not stand the pain in his gut any longer, and it just so happened in that moment, Sothis answered his prayer. Reaching upward, Byleth pulled down the face of the prince to his own, and kissed his lips. It was a chaste, innocent kiss, meant for young lovers, not battle worn men. And just as it began, it ended. Byleth pulled back his hands. The unbearable pain within him was gone, but the hole it left was filled with fear.

Dimitri stared down at him with an unreadable expression. 


He was not allowed to finish. The words turned into a sharp gasp as Byleth was pulled close, his own hands placed back upon the face of the prince. This time, it was Dimitri that kissed him. A hand was placed along Byleth’s back, the other at the base of his skull. Long fingers dug into his hair, but they did not pull him away. There was pain that came with it, but it was a sweet kind of pain. 

“Do not apologize,” Dimitri whispered, “for something I have dreamed of all these years.”

He wasn’t swept off his feet in the tradition sense, but Byleth felt his knees grow weak, and thought it was enough. The prince kissed him again, and tenderness of his touch was rapidly turning to hunger. 

“When did…?” Byleth breathed, and shivered as Dimitri moved his lips to nip at his neck, just below his ear. 

“The day you smiled,” he told him. “And when I asked, you did so again without hesitation.”

 His words pained Byleth as he imagined the torment of being in love for years without saying a single word. It had been mere months since he began to feel more for the prince, and those months had tortured him. He wrapped his arms around Dimitri and held him tightly in hopes it would soothe some of the pain. 

Byleth took in a sharp, audible breath as the lips of the prince wandered across his throat. The threat of being bitten was ever-present, as he felt the teeth beyond the lips graze over him as well. His eyes closed, and a new feeling began to burn in him, one that made his blood boil. The heat demanded more skin upon skin, and Byleth was ready to give into it even though he did not understand. With a few shrugs, the coat that sat upon his shoulders fell to the stone floor. 

The simple act of letting a heavy piece of cloth fall from him set off a chain reaction. Dimitri pulled Byleth down with him to where the coat had fallen. His hands wandered elsewhere, one gliding down around his back only to push back up under his shirt. The other hand lingered at Byleth’s hip, fingers digging into him. Like when his hair had been pulled, this pain was also sweet, adding fuel to the fire. 

As Dimitri’s hand traveled upward, Byleth found himself exposed to the cold night air. He shivered, and sucked in a breath when the buttons of his shirt began to pop away. Cold air wasn’t what bothered him- it was the idea that Dimitri would look upon his chest, and see the mess of a white scar over where his heart would have been, that made him tense. But the prince did not pause, or appear disgusted with the mark. He kissed it gently until the tension that had built in Byleth faded once more. No questions were asked, nor were any remarks made. 

Both hands pushed the shirt from Byleth’s shoulders, leaving him half nude. Then, Dimitri pulled away, and began to pull at the leather straps that held his armor in place. Gauntlets and gloves fell first, and with bare hands, the cloak at his back was wrapped around Byleth’s shoulders instead. The pauldrons upon his shoulders and breastplate came next, each loudly clattering to the stone. Dimitri kissed Byleth once more, and replaced his hand at his hip, though it did not stay there for long. 

Slowly, Byleth felt the pressure of Dimitri’s hand shift from his hip, across his stomach, then downward until it rested at the inside of his thigh. The fire in him no longer burned in the pit of his stomach, but between his legs, so very close to where the hand of the prince was. Byleth longed for him to move just a bit more, and he did not want to wait any longer. 

Please , Dimitri,” he whispered, voice cracking. 

The prince complied with his pitiful begging, or so he believed. After another kiss, his hand shifted from Byleth’s thigh, moved closer and closer to where he ached, but Dimitri did not touch him. He was about to protest again, beg to be touched, but then he saw the way the prince looked down at him. 

“I fear I may hurt you, professor.” His voice was barely a whisper. “And you have been drinking.”

There were no words Byleth could offer in the moment, so instead he kissed Dimitri’s lips, and guided his hovering hand downward. It was probably true that he was still a bit intoxicated, but it had been the mead stipping down his emotional barriers that got him into this situation in the first place. He didn’t know if he would have had the courage to kiss Dimitri sober, or the courage to guide the hand of the prince to touch what was quickly becoming an uncomfortable erection beneath the fabric of his slacks. 

Dimitri needed little guidance after that, though he still held back. As the light touches aroused Byleth even further, he wondered if the prince was a virgin, like he was. The thought of Dimitri sleeping with another wasn’t a happy one, so he pushed it from his mind. In the end, it didn’t matter, because he was there now, kissing and touching Byleth. 

Under Dimitri’s hands, his erection was becoming a bit too uncomfortable confined in his slacks. He fumbled to undo buttons, and as he did, Dimitri slipped his hand under them. The touch sent a shudder down his spine. 

“Lie back,” the prince commanded him. Byleth obeyed, the fur cloak falling from his shoulders, piling upon his own upon the floor. It was no feather bed, but he had laid upon worse to sleep. Dimitri pulled away for a moment, first tugging Byleth’s boots off, tossing them to the side. Next he pulled down at the waist of his pants, and once they were around his knees, his hand returned to touching Byleth. It wasn’t fair to him that he was almost fully stripped of his clothes, but Dimitri still wore all of his. 

Though, with the way the prince’s hand gripped his erection, there wasn’t much Byleth could do but squirm under him. He brought a hand up to cover his mouth just as a moan spilled from his lips, but it did not stay there. Dimitri’s fingers wrapped around his wrist, and pulled the hand from his mouth, placing it above his head. 

“We are alone,” he assured Byleth. “Let me hear you.”

In response, Byleth whined out his name, and raised his hips to force more friction between his cock and Dimitri’s hand. A beautiful smile graced the lips of the prince as his fingers teased the leaking tip of his erection. Byleth’s wrist was released from the prince’s grip, and the hand traveled slowly downward, caressing the scar across his chest. When Dimitri’s hand reached his shorts, he tugged them down as well, pulling the fabric down along the length of his cock. 

As a wave of embarrassment washed over him, Byleth tried to cover his face with both hands, only for Dimitri to catch his wrists, both in one hand. He pinned Byleth’s hands above his head once again, and then leaned back as far as he could to stare. It was hard to fight against the urge to cover himself entirely, to hide away from the prince’s eye. 

“You’re beautiful,” Dimitri breathed. A red blush covered his face. “Do you… wish to continue?”

Byleth nodded. “Of course.”

“Then do not hide yourself away from me.” The hand that held down his wrists was lifted once more. “I wish to see all of you.”

Fingers traced lines and circles across Byleth’s chest, down his stomach and thighs. Not once in his dreams had Dimitri’s touch been this gentle, this loving. A hand slipped between his thighs and urged them to part. The prince lowered himself and placed a wet kiss along Byleth’s cock, drawing a gasp from him. He kissed his erection again, and again, from base to tip, and then he slipped the head between his lips. 

Byleth’s voice cracked as he whined at the sudden warm, wet heat that threatened to send him over the edge. Virgin or not, it was embarrassing to suddenly feel so close, but he kept his hands away from his face. Dimitri’s lips slid down his cock, and his tongue pressed hard against him. He was already so close to taking him all in his mouth.

Slowly, Dimitri raised his head, until his mouth was wrapped around only the head of Byleth’s cock once more. He sucked at it, licking the precum that leaked from the tip. 

“Dimitri, ah, ” Byleth gasped out. “Too much, too much, too much!

The wet heat around him was gone, and he felt as though he was going to weep at the loss of it. He needed to calm himself. Suddenly, Dimitri’s lips were back at his neck, kissing him while he ran a hand through Byleth’s hair. A moment passed, and then he was touching him again, gently running his fingers along the length of his cock. 

When his thumb rolled over the tip, Byleth moaned, and Dimitri captured his open mouth with his. He could taste himself on the lips of the prince. 

In a moment of clarity, Byleth reached for the shirt Dimitri wore, tugging at it. “I want to see you too,” he whispered. “Please.”

Dimitri complied with his request, pulling back just long enough to pull his shirt over his head. There were far too many new scars across his chest. The sight made Byleth feel silly for being self conscious about his own. Of course Dimitri would have scars of his own. He’d spent so many years in a wild state, with no one to heal him. 

With his shirt gone, he returned to kissing Byleth’s cock. To keep himself from rushing to the edge the moment Dimitri took him back into his mouth, he began to recite the names and details of battle formations in his mind. It worked, but not for long. The prince swallowed his cock to the base, sucking hard. Byleth cried out, lifting his hips up from the ground. Dimitri slid an arm under his back, keeping him half in the air. 

The resulting sensation made Byleth’s head feel fuzzy. He could only keep his eyes half open, and his breath had been reduced to ragged panting. Dimitri was no longer being gentle with him. His head bobbed up and down on Byleth’s cock at a steady pace. Pleasure unlike anything he could ever give himself with his own hands washed over him. 

Before he realized it, he was at the edge once more. “ Dimitri, ” he moaned, but could not warn the prince fast enough. He came as soon as his name escaped his lips. The rush of adrenaline through his veins overwhelmed him. His hands curled into fists at his sides, gripping the fur cloak under him. Dimitri had taken his cock to the base, and he could feel him swallowing every last drop of his orgasam. 

Byleth was gently lowered down onto the fur cloak. His legs shook when Dimitri gave a final hard suck on his cock, then pulled his mouth away. The haze that followed almost lulled Byleth to sleep, but he was brought back by the press of lips against his own. Only then did he realize that the pleasure had been all his to take. Dimitri was still half clothed, and when he took a glance downward, he saw an uncomfortable-looking erection straining through his pants. 

“You…” Byleth breathed. His hand reached out towards Dimitri. 

“We should go elsewhere,” he said. “There is far more that I wish to do to you, professor.”

Dimitri slipped his hands under the fur cloak, and Byleth’s coat, and lifted him from the ground, wrapping him up. 

“Our clothes…” he mumbled. “Shouldn’t we…?” 

“I shall return for the rest,” Dimitri reassured him. 

Byleth flushed red as he was carried down from the Goddess Tower. The cloak covered him a bit, but not fully, and if anyone were to see the two of them… He didn’t want to imagine what would happen. Yet Dimitri seemed to know what route to take to walk through the monastery unseen. Or perhaps they were lucky. Either way, the prince carried Byleth into his room, and there he placed him upon the soft bed. The door was locked behind him. 

As soon as Byleth sat up upon the bed, Dimitri towered above him and kissed him once more. “I desire nothing more than to take you tonight,” he whispered. “But I must have your consent.”

In the back of his mind, he knew it was coming, but now that he was confronted with the fact that Dimitri wanted to fuck him made him dizzy with lust. 

“I have never… but yes,” Byleth said. “ Yes.

It was hard to be patient as Dimitri awkwardly went to his dresser, and rummaged around until he produced a crystal bottle. He returned to the bed, setting the bottle upon the bedside table. Byleth was gently pushed down upon the bed. Dimitri’s bare chest was pressed against his own. The warmth and the quick beat of his heart were a comfort, as was the kiss Dimitri pressed against his neck. A tiny nip followed the kiss. Byleth shut his eyes, and moaned at the pleasure he found within the pain. The sound spurred the prince to bite again, harder, longer, leaving marks that would leave dark bruises along his throat. 

Dimitri was gone for a moment. When Byleth opened his eyes, he found the prince had stripped the rest of his clothing off, save for the eyepatch. Between his legs hung his erection, and Byleth’s mind rushed to fantasize about what it was going to feel like inside him. Guided by Dimitri’s hand, he rolled over onto his stomach, and spread his legs while the prince kissed and nipped at his shoulder blades. 

He felt far more exposed than he had in the Goddess Tower, and was grateful that he could bury his face in the pillows upon Dimitri’s bed to hide his face. There was more reason to muffle the sounds he made as well. Neither of them knew if anyone had returned to their rooms. The walls weren’t thin, but they weren’t soundproof either. Byleth whined into a pillow as Dimitri groped at his ass, spreading his legs a bit further. 

Dimitri reached for the oil, and uncorked the bottle. The quiet sound of liquid dripping onto fingers filled the room. Seconds ticked by, making Byleth impatient. Then, the feeling of oil covered fingers against his ass overtook all else. Dimitri was gentle, as he toyed with him, but it did not take him long before he slipped a single finger inside. 

The pressure was a beautiful, foreign thing. Byleth groaned as the finger delved deeper into him. A rhythm was set, slow and steady, in and out. It grew torturous, and he whined for more. His begging was answered by a second finger filling him alongside the first. With two fingers now, Dimitri stretched him open, exploring more and more. His finger curled and brushed against something within Byleth that made him tense and moan louder than he wanted to. 

He couldn’t see the face of the prince, but he imagined there was a smirk there. Dimitri pressed against the spot once more, massaging it gently. The pleasure filled Byleth’s mind like cotton, fuzzy and warm. His hips raised and he began to move in time with the prince’s fingers. Then, once more, Dimitri’s fingers were gone. 

“Are you ready?” The voice of the prince in his ear was more intoxicating than mead. Byleth drew in a shaky breath, and felt a hand on his shoulder. He nodded, and lifted his hips to brush against the prince. “Speak,” Dimitri commanded. 

“I’m ready,” Byleth said. A warm kiss was pressed to his hair, and another to his cheek. 

A few moments passed, and Byleth breathed deeply. No amount of breathing, or other tricks he could use to calm his own body, prepared himself for when Dimitri finally pushed his cock into him. The prince moved slowly, too slowly, so Byleth wiggled his hips, pushing his ass back just a bit. A moan was drawn from Dimitri’s lips, and though the sound added to the feeling of ecstasy Byleth felt, it also made him feel smug. He made the prince sound like that. 

With Byleth’s teasing helping him along, Dimitri was soon completely inside him, but he stopped there. 

“Keep going,” Byleth begged. “You won’t hurt me.” 

The words of affirmation seemed to be what Dimitri needed. Byleth had not wanted to be overly vocal, in fear of someone hearing them, but if it was what he needed, then he would let the prince hear his voice. At first, he only spoke softly, praising Dimitri and reassuring him until he found a rhythm. Then those words were reduced to babbling, mixed with moans, and soon Byleth could not speak at all. He was far too focused on the pleasure of Dimitri fucking him. 

“Professor,” Dimitri gasped. “I’m-- reaching my limit.”

Byleth knew what he meant, and once again moved his hips back to meet Dimitri’s thrusts. He moaned, far louder than he needed to, but it was all he could do in the moment to tell the prince he wanted it . If there was anyone in the dorms, they undoubtedly heard them, but Byleth no longer cared. 

Dimitri managed to last a minute longer, but then he cried Byleth’s name, and came. Fingers dug into Byleth’s hips, hard enough to leave more bruises, but he endured the pain and continued to rock his hips against Dimitri as he filled him. The prince came to rest against Byleth’s back. He tried to speak, but the haze of orgasam kept him from articulating what he wished to say, so he gave up and simply kissed Byleth’s neck. 

They both came down from their high, and Dimitri pulled away from Byleth. On shaking legs, he managed to stand long enough to fetch towels from his dresser. They cleaned themselves in silence, and the moment Byleth rolled over onto his back, the prince laid down next to him. He stared up at the ceiling. 

“Forgive me, professor. I feel as though I should have taken you to dinner first,” Dimitri whispered. Byleth knew he was being serious, but nevertheless, laughed, harder than he had in a long time. A smile appeared on Dimitri’s face as well. 

“It’s alright,” Byleth assured him. “I’m already in love with you.”

Dimitri turned to look at him. Had they not just had sex, Byleth was sure he would be blushing. He kissed the prince, and pulled up a blanket to cover them both. 


In the morning, Dimitri dressed and opened the door to fetch the clothes and armor they had left behind. He didn’t have to go far. Sitting just outside the door, folded neatly in a basket, was everything they had left in the goddess tower. Both he and Byleth decided it would be for the best if they slept in that day.