Refresh. Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
Please reply. Please reply, please reply, please reply.
Luna was going to the city despite Katya begging her not to. And Jaime left to follow her. And Katya--- stupid, stupid Katya, didn't even think to follow, herself. And now the two of them-- her only real friends in the world-- are gone, and she doesn't know what to do.
The constricting feeling in her chest makes it hard to breathe. Hard to think. Panic-- she's panicking. Her hands are shaking and her head is foggy and everything feels like it's closing in on her. They're not replying, and she's sitting here refreshing over and over, praying they're going to respond with something. That they're going to post in a second, and they're fine, and the train is fine, too, and no one is disappeared, or dead, or anything. That it-- it wasn't what it looked like, or something. Anything. She just needs to know that they're okay.
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.
What should she do? What can she do? She isn't good at all the mystery stuff-- she doesn't ever join them for investigations. Jaime or Luna always know, but she doesn't. She weighs her options. She could follow them, and maybe get killed or arrested in the process. Or she could stay here, alone, and wait.
Wait for them to say something. Wait for them to come back. Hope that everything is okay. Hope they're okay. She doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know if they're dead, or-- or if they started the loop over again somehow. She doesn't know what's happening. She doesn't know anything, and it makes her feel so much more helpless. She doesn't know. She doesn't know, she doesn't know.
Refresh. Refresh, refresh, refresh. Frantic. Please say something. Please be okay, please don't leave her here all alone-- she can't lose her only friends-- the only people she can even talk to in this whole awful town.
Tears sting at her eyes, and a choked sob escapes her lips. Shaking hands try to stifle it, but it's too late. A string of cries she tries to swallow back spill out despite her best efforts. She should have been there, or she should have stopped Luna, or-- or something. She's a coward, and she should have done more. But she didn't. And now she's all alone, and they could be dead, and she might never see them again. She's so sorry. It's terrifying, being so helpless. So alone. It's the scariest thing she's ever felt-- scarier than any clown or monster-- scarier than the stars falling and the world ending. She gives up on holding back, and she cries.
Katya isn't sure exactly how long it takes for her tears to stop, and her breathing to slow. Ten minutes? An hour? Who knows. But she's cried until she can't anymore. Puffy eyes burning, she pushes herself up from her desk, and settles onto her bed, phone in hand.
Refresh. Refresh. Refresh.