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Love Letters To A Stage Dork

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Jeremy had been lovesick.

Quite frankly, he had been for a while. He had been from the moment he saw Christine in his English class at the start of the school year. She wasn't really someone he had noticed before now, but it was funny how someone you didn't notice before could be so perfect? Could be someone he couldn't just ignore anymore? As of lately he found himself staring off in her direction more and more often, and with more and more of a blush on his face. She wasn't exactly the kind of girl that the tall boy had expected to like. After all, his mother had tried to get him with many Jewish girls while she still cared enough to be around for him. However, the short theatre kid wasn't anything like these girls and, honestly? It excited him to no end. He just wanted to observe her any moment she was around, so as she walked into second period English and took her usual seat, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her.

I'm breaking my mother's heart
The longer I stand looking at you
The more I hear it splinter and crack
From ninety miles away

It didn't even matter to him what his mom thought anymore. What did it matter? She didn't bother to stick around for him. In fact, if any of the girls his mom had found for him were meant to be, then they would have lasted longer than those awkward 'our moms set us up and we're only here to appease them' dinners. He was free to like who he wanted now, because his dad certainly wouldn't care, especially not in the state he was in now. He might have cared for his grandfather's sake a few years ago, but he didn't have to worry about that anymore. Jeremy was free to find interest in who he wished.

I'm breaking my mother's heart
The JCC of Spring Valley is shaking
And crumbling to the ground
And my grandfather's rolling, rolling in his grave

"Who he wished" was a sweet girl and a very 'out there' personality. She was very energetic, made him happy even though he only watched her from afar, and not to mention completely beautiful. From the way she smiled to how she skipped quickly when she was running late to class, he couldn't look away from he dark haired girl. She was, in a few words, perfect to him. He couldn't see himself not liking her even if she were someone entirely different from herself. He was still staring as she took her seat a few desks away from him, dropping her book-bag off her shoulder and onto the ground with a "thud."

If you had a tattoo, that wouldn't matter
If you had a shaved head, that'd be cool
If you came from Spain or Japan or the back of a van
Just as long as you're not from Hebrew school
I'd say, now I'm getting somewhere
I'm finally breaking through
I'd say, hey, hey, Shiksa Goddess
I've been waiting for someone like you

Jeremy continued to watch her, how she looked through the messy array of loose papers in her bag for the assignment that he had personally forgotten to do. Oh well, no chance that he would finish it before the teacher asked for it mere moments away from now, might as well continue what he was doing. He could always turn it in late for half credit anyways, Ms. Miller was nice like that. The cardigan wearing boy felt butterflies take flight in his stomach as she looked back to him, causing him immediately to look down at his empty desk. He thought of all those awkward dates with the girls his mom had tried to set him up with over the years, he had never felt this with them.

I've been waiting through Danica Schwartz and Erica Weiss
And the Handelman twins
I've been waiting through Heather Greenblatt
Annie Mincus, Karen Pincus and Lisa Katz
And Stacy Rosen, Ellen Kaplan, Julie Silber and Janie Stein
I've had Shabbas dinners on Friday nights
With every Shapiro in Washington Heights

He had had this feeling when his eye's drifted in Christine's direction for the first time. She had been wearing a green dress with a flower on it, the very same one she was wearing today, he remembered that. She was choosing the desk she wanted to sit at in the class, one that ended up being only a few away from her observer. He remembered considering texting his best friend, Michael, to tell him all about this girl he had truly really paid attention to for the first time in his English class, but he couldn't for whatever reason. He couldn't bring himself to put into words her gorgeous looks or her bubbly personality. Instead, he only watched until he couldn't stand not saying anything anymore, a few days later. Michael teased him for his crush, which was to be expected, but for once he didn't have to keep it to himself anymore.

But the minute I first met you
I could barely catch my breath
I've been standing for days with a phone in my hand
Like an idiot, scared to death
I've been wandering through the desert
I've been beaten, I've been hit
My people have suffered for thousands of years
And I don't give a shit

As he felt the girl take his eyes off him, he looked back up cautiously with a blush on his cheeks. With anyone else he would continue to look down, he wouldn't take the chance. Especially if that someone was Rich, honestly he would probably be doomed if he looked up then, but with Christine it was worth the risk. Well, he secretly hoped it wouldn't cause her to think he was a creep or something, but otherwise...worth it. Luckily enough, she didn't catch him this time, and he got to continue his daydreaming. He wondered in the back of his mind if she would ever like him too, but he knew that was impossible. She didn't know him. Would she care if she knew, though?

If you had a pierced tongue, that wouldn't matter
If you once were in jail or you once were a man
If your mother and your brother had relations with each other
And your father was connected to the Gotti clan
I'd say, "Well, nobody's perfect"
It's tragic but it's true
I'd say, hey, hey, Shiksa Goddess
I've been waiting for someone like you

How would Christine ever know Jeremy liked her though? His constant glances towards her in class? The blush spread across his face any time she caught him staring? He supposed she'd never know, because he certainly wouldn't tell her. Well, at least not vocally. A note wouldn't be so bad. This is when the teacher got the class's attention, ripping his focus away from the frizzy haired girl, and announced it was a work day. The nerdy boy knew he wouldn't be doing work, who did during a work day? So instead, he brought his momentarily distracted attention back to Christine. He supposed he could write that note, what could go wrong? He had endless words to say about her anyways.

Breaking the circle
You...
Taking the light
You...
You are the story I should write
I have to write...

The pining mess of a boy took out his notebook and pencil and started writing. It wasn't very articulate, Jeremy Heere as a person typically wasn't, but it got across his thoughts and what he wanted to say. He read it over and over and over again. He added and erased things, rewording every little thing until he felt it accurately described what he felt. For a brief moment the impulsive thought to give it to her ran through his mind. What would really be the worst that happened? She didn't know he existed anyways, and that could change after this note, whether she liked it or she didn't. He found himself considering it, genuinely. He didn't like taking risks, but maybe this was his chance to more than survive?

If you drove an RV, that wouldn't matter
If you like to drink blood - I think it's cute
If you've got a powerful connection to your firearm collection
I say, "Draw a bead and shoot"
I'm your Hebrew slave at your service
Just tell me what to do
I'd say, hey, hey, hey, hey
I've been waiting for someone...
I've been praying for someone...
I think that I could be in love with someone
Like you

He ripped the paper out of his notebook, holding it so tightly between his fingers that it slightly smudged the writing. Should he or not? His mind was spinning in circles, not landing on a particular answer until he noticed the girl he had written the note for looking over to someone else in the class. Looking over to Jake. Jeremy raised his hand, crumpling the paper in his other hand and asking to go to the bathroom. As he was given permission he made his way out of the classroom that felt completely unbearable right now. Of course Christine wouldn't feel the same way he felt about her, why would she? After all people like Jake were around who were so much better. He was bound to be single for the rest of his life. He ripped the paper he had been clenching in his fist as he had been making his way to the bathroom into tiny little pieces before walking into the bathroom. Time to flush the evidence of his momentary thoughts of bravery down the toilet. There was no evidence of his momentary thoughts of doing more than just surviving. Why couldn't someone just help him out and teach him how to thrive? Help him to more than survive? Now all there was to look forward to in the day was lunch with Michael, where he was planning on complaining about his constant unending failures with love. Just another normal day.