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Dracula’s Yard Sale

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Dick was an avid yard sale hunter.  He got it from his mom, who used to take him whenever they hit a new town.  Tim, who had grown up with a yard but no sales, found this amusing. Jason, who had grown up with sales but no yard, found this baffling.  Especially when Dick stopped the car at a spooky decrepit mansion at the end of a long line of signs.

“This is gonna be the best yard sale, I can feel it,” Dick said.  He climbed out of the car, Tim hurrying after him. Jason lingered in his seat.

“I don’t know about this, Dick.”

Tim turned back.  “Come on, Jason. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Jason shook his head and got out.  “White guys in a horror movie,” he muttered.

Dick was already oohing and aahing over the antiques, so Jason just took one side of the yard and started looking through it.  The hairs on the back of his neck tingled and he glanced at the house just in time to see a curtain move back into position. He shuddered.  Nobody was outside except the three of them, not even someone out to sell their stuff. It made Jason suspicious.

Dick, meanwhile, had loaded up Tim with tchotchkes and was currently heading toward the house.  Jason jogged up to them just as they reached the door. The porch overhang cast a heavy shadow over the door.  The door creaked open and a tall, gaunt man beckoned them in. He had a thick mustache and old fashioned clothes.

“Please, come in.”

Dick followed him without hesitation, Tim waddling in after him, weighed down by Dick’s sale picks.  Jason reluctantly joined them, keeping himself closer to the door.

“Have you found everything you like?” the man asked.

Dick nodded.  “You’ve got some great stuff out there.”

Jason looked around the room while Dick chatted away.  There was something odd about the house he could see. The windows were covered with cloth.  The furniture was dusty. Then it hit him. There was not a single reflective surface in the entire room.

Jason took a second look at their host.  He was looking at Dick with a kind of feral hunger.  Tim, under his mountain of stuff, couldn’t see it. Jason pulled out his wallet and threw a fifty dollar bill down in front of the man.

“Boy, was nice meeting you, we gotta go,” he said, grabbing Dick’s arm.

Dick squawked indignantly.  Jason grabbed Tim and pulled them both out the door.  He didn’t let go until they were both shoved into the car.  Jason hopped into the driver's seat and took off.

“Jason!  What was that about?” Dick asked.

“You’re too pretty to be this dumb, Dick,” Jason said.  “Did you not notice how Dracula back there was looking at you?  That guy was this close to eating you.”

“He was not, Jason, oh my god!”

Tim piped up, “He was kind of odd.”

“No mirrors.  He kept leaning in at you.  You should’ve seen his eyes.”

Dick shook his head.  “He’s just a strange old man.  You’re paranoid.”

“And you were almost vampire chow.”