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i've got nightmare eyes

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....not now. Not right now.


His face, his eyes, they-- they were burning , the pain was... harsh , to put it simply. 

The arrival of it was sudden, unexpected, earlier than prior times, giving Osomatsu no time to prepare for it, or even get himself to a washroom .

Not now. Not right now. Not while he's outside with--

"...Osomatsu?" Karamatsu spoke up, stopping his walking after the eldest had, making their four younger brothers in front of them do the same. "Are you alright?"

"" Osomatsu had covered his face, his eyes, tilting his head to the ground while trying not to groan from the pain. "...i'm... fine..."


"Osomatsu-nii-san," Todomatsu began, "you really don't look alright. Are you sick?"

"Nii-san, you should go home if you're sick!!" Jyuushimatsu exclaimed.

"We wouldn't want the illness to spread," Choromatsu sighed, with Ichimatsu making a small 'mmhm' in agreement. "You should get some rest before it gets worse."

"...s'not it..." Osomatsu mumbled, almost in a grunt, his eyes still covered by his hands, his arms.


"Aniki," Karamatsu said as he placed a hand on his brother's shoulder, "I know you can be stubborn about admitting to being sick or--"

Karamatsu froze, now seeing the liquid dripping down from Osomatsu's hands. The hands that were covering the elder's eyes.

Lines of dark red liquid ran down the back of Osomatsu's arms, some drops falling to the concrete pavement below.


"O-Osomatsu--!? Y--" Hands grabbed at Osomatsu's, trying to remove them from his face, but they remained in place. "W-What is-- A-Aniki, you're--!"

"Sh- Shut --" Osomatsu pulled away, still covering his face, but his attempts to hide the blood were futile.


"N-N- Nii-san!? "



"That's blood...!! "


"I said I'm fine, " he tried to growl, but it came out hoarse and strained. He was blinded by the blood - and his hands trying to contain the blood - but he could feel their worried expressions on him.

They shouldn't worry. He didn't want them to worry, that-- That's the whole reason he didn't tell them about this.


"Osomatsu, c-- Can you see anything? Do-- Do we need to take you to the h-hospital?"

Osomatsu shook his head vigorously. He's always ridden these out himself ever since they first started. The hospital's a waste of cash.

"O-Okay, okay, um-- Totty, do you have any tissues? Wet wipes, maybe?"

There was the sound of plastic crinkling, before something soft pushed Osomatsu's hands away and wiped his face. He couldn't see himself right now, but he knew exactly what he looked like from previous experiences. He knew his eyes were bloodshot, terribly bloodshot - nearing a solid red - with semi-large streaks of blood leaking out of his eyes, down his face, his cheeks, his chin, maybe his neck.

Essentially, his eyes looked like they came straight out of a nightmare. Nightmare eyes , one could say.


"Osomatsu, does-- Does it hurt?"

"...sgh...." Osomatsu squeezed his eyes shut again as more blood spawned, causing the drops to roll down once more.

"Sh--" Karamatsu audibly pulled out more tissues, before wiping the elder's face again. "W-We should get you home. C'mon."

"No, I'm--" Osomatsu grimaced, bringing an arm up to cover his face, trying not to sway from the dizziness. "...i'm... fine..."

"You're not fine ," Karamatsu stated sternly, more authority in his voice than before. "I'm taking you home, alright?"

", no, i'm..." Osomatsu blinked out the last of the blood from his eyes, his vision finally returning - Blurry, vague and dyed with red, but existent. "'s... gone now, i'm.... i'm o-okay..."


"A-Are you sure, Osomatsu-nii-san...?" Todomatsu asked uncertainly, from behind the second eldest. "You still seem to be in bad shape..."

"...y-yeah, no, th... the blood's stopped, i'm... i'm alright."

"It-- It's good that it stopped , but what caused it in the first place...?" Choromatsu queried, an uneasy expression on his face. "That really isn't normal at all. I still think you should go home and rest... Probably see a doctor later..."

"We can buy takeaway for nii-san!" Jyuushimatsu assured. "Or we can all buy takeaway and eat dinner at home!!"

Ichimatsu nodded as he pulled out a water bottle, nudging it into Osomatsu's shoulder. The eldest silently gave his thanks as he took it, drinking a good amount of water, the dizzy feeling beginning to ease afterwards.


"Are-- Are you sure you're okay now? I-I mean, I'm taking you back regardless, but..."

"...y...yeah, i'm okay now...." Osomatsu reassured, though he still felt weak from the event. "...don't worry about me, kara..."

"Come on, let's..." Karamatsu reached an arm around Osomatsu's back, grabbing his hand with the other. "Let's go home, alright?"

It wasn't supposed to happen again. It doesn't usually happen twice in one day .

But now it's happening again. The blood, the pain , the blinding--


At least he's at home this time, so this was a bit more manageable... He closed the bathroom door behind him before blindly reaching for the sink.

But the wave of pain that hit his face soon after was agonising. It made him drop to the floor, groaning painfully as he grabbed at the edge of the sink in an attempt to stand up.


This one was worse than the usual. He could feel the streaks of blood going down his face, every drop burning into his sockets. It was like someone had stabbed him in both eyes.

It hurt like shit .

His hand fell to the ceramic tiles below, him realising that it had become damp with his own blood. How much was leaking out? This felt like a far larger volume than the norm. That would explain the additional pain--

"Osomatsu?" There was a knock on the bathroom door, Karamatsu's voice behind it. "Is everything alright? I thought I heard a strange sound..."


The elder tried to respond, tried to say anything , but the stinging, burning agony was overpowering, downright disabling --

"...k-kghr...." was all that managed to come out, likely inaudible from the other side of the door. It hurt, it hurt, it hurt, it hurt --


Osomatsu yelled in pain as a particularly strong streak of blood shot out of his tearducts. It hurt, it hurt, it really hurt--


Things became blurry after that. He couldn't exactly remember what happened, but in the next moment that he was aware, he had his weight resting into Karamatsu, who was on the floor with him, the younger's pants below stained with his blood. He felt like Karamatsu was saying something, but he couldn't quite focus on the words to make any sense out of them.

He was dazed for the longest while, the only thing he was aware of being his younger brother's presence near him. All he knew was that he passed out at some point.

When he finally came to, he was on... a white bed. Doesn't seem like the hospital, though - Despite his blurry vision, he could tell that the ceiling was made of metal...


" Osomatsu-san!! " Dekapan yelled, seemingly from nearby, soon after he had opened his eyes, "Why didn't you tell me that that started happening after the experiment last week!? You could-- We could have prevented it from getting this bad! "

"Hey, hey, he might still be dizzy," he heard his younger brother whisper, "Try not to yell too loud."

"Karamatsu- san , this-- I told him to tell me if any side-effects happened from the test, but... Ugh, I should have followed up with him myself.... " Dekapan audibly sighed with a grumble. "Sorry about this..."

"It's okay, Dekapan, he's doing better now..." Karamatsu's voice came nearer as he said that.


"Osomatsu?" Karamatsu entered the elder's field of vision, sitting next to the bed he was on and grabbing his hand. "Aniki, hey..."


Karamatsu smiled softly, relieved to hear him respond. "Hi, nii-san... Dekapan-san fixed the cause of the problem, but you still lost a lot of blood over the last week. We'll need to get you to the hospital for some blood transfusions, alright?"


"Don't worry, they'll understand when they know that Dekapan-san was involved..."

"karamatsu-san that makes me sound like someone that always hurts people by accident"

"are you saying that you're not"


"Osomatsu, do you think you can sit up? It's okay if you can't, but let us know."

"...mng..." Any attempt to sit up proved exhausting to the elder. He lay back down with a defeated sigh, the world feeling like it spun around him.


He heard Karamatsu say something to Dekapan, but he found himself unable to concentrate. Then he found a mug held in front of him, the straw in it targeted to his mouth. Still lying down, he drank the water through the straw thirstily, deciding that whoever invented the straw was a bloody genius and a half.

The younger squeezed his hand. "Let's, um... Let's get you to the hospital, okay?"

Osomatsu physically, and mentally, couldn't object.

beep, beep

beep, beep

beep, beep

Seems like this bag's run dry.


Osomatsu sighed as he pressed the Nurse Call button on the side of his hospital bed, so that the empty bag of blood that he was still hooked up to could be taken away. That should be enough, right? This was already the third pint transfused into him. He hoped the nurse would come soon - The beeping of the machine gets annoying after a while...

"Hi, Osomatsu..." Karamatsu said quietly as he entered the ward, closing the door behind him. "How are you...?"

Osomatsu shrugged, still leaning back in the bed. "'I've been better, but I've also been worse , I guess..."


Karamatsu sat on the edge of the bed. "You know, if... if we had known sooner, we... could have stopped it from getting worse... From-- From getting this bad ..."

"I wasn't sure if it was caused by Dekapan's experiment, or something else , so I didn't go to him... And, well, I-- I didn't want you guys to worry..."


"Osomatsu, y... I know you tend to deal with things yourself, but... Y-- You can rely on me, you know...? You-- You can rely on us...."

"...karamatsu, i'm... enough of a piece of shit as i am. I don't... I'm not supposed to-- I don't want to burden you guys any more than i already have, I..." Osomatsu grumbled, covering his face with his hands. "...i'm just a piece of shit oldest brother, i can't do anything useful, i can't do anything right , i c-can't even get a job , i just-- i don't deserve to have... anyone worrying or caring about me... i'm not-- i'm not supposed to have that, but I-- I can't even get that right..."



"....i-i'm sorry i exist, k-kara..." Osomatsu cried, his vision blurring as tears - not blood - rolled past his hands and down his cheeks. "...all i do is drag you guys down ... all i do is cause trouble, i.... i'm a h-horrible big brother... i-i'm the worst...! "

"...w....why are you s-sorry...?"


"Ani-- You haven't done anything wrong...!" Karamatsu began to sob. "I-It's-- It's not a crime to exist, Osomatsu...! You're not dragging u-us d-- You're always looking out for us a-and making sure we're okay like-- E-Even if we don't know it you're a-always caring about us s-- so can't we care about you too...!? We're-- We're family, nii-san, and you're-- You're not a burden..!! Did we... I.... I-I'm sorry we made you feel this way...."


"B-But it's true, isn't it...? If not for me, you guys would all--"

"It's not! We-- We need you and we-- I know being the oldest brother isn't easy but I know you're trying your best and I-- Y-You're always there for us if something happens to us or something we care about like-- Like Jyuushimatsu with Homura-san and-- and Ichimatsu with his cats and-- anything , really..!"



"....a-aniki..." Karamatsu cried, his tears flowing down his cheeks, "...we need you and we love you and-- a-and f-- Families love and care and help each other and-- Y-- You deserve all that...! E-Everyone deserves love and care so... W-Why would-- Why wouldn't you...? "

"...kara...." Osomatsu's voice was still thick with tears as he grabbed Karamatsu's arm. "...c'mere..."

Karamatsu wailed as he coiled his arms around his older brother, burying himself into his shoulder and drenching his hospital gown with tears. Osomatsu was crying as well - Quieter, but just as much.

"...i-i'm sorry i'm always so stubborn l-like this...." Osomatsu sighed. "I'll-- i'll try to rely on you more, a-alright...?"

"....please... p-- please do... i don't-- i don't want things to get this bad again.... I-- i don't want to see you get hurt so badly like this ... i... i-i want to help you... i d-don't want you to be in pain ... "

"I know, I-I... I know..."


It took a long while for their crying to finally cease, and even then neither wanted to pull away from the hug.

"....can we just... sleep here for a while?"

"...of course, nii-san..."