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Ineffable Husbands' Great Flufftober

Chapter Text


     While Lower Tadfield was a very quiet land, it wasn’t exempt of troubles. Sometimes the bandits of Higher Lands came to the town and made a mess of things, which was a pain for its inhabitants. Aziraphale, the Chief’s eldest daughter did all what was in her had to help everyone, but sometimes, things were just too much to only one person. One of the bandits took her from the ground like a sack of potatoes and being as helplessly disarmed as she was Aziraphale didn’t had much opportunities to fight. She tried to bury her nails in her kidnappers face but it was useless, for the only space available for her was protected by his armour.



     Aziraphale groaned with frustration, trying to think of a way to escape from those brutes and go back with her people. The bandits were looking for all the gold they could carry in their backs, which told her they were probably from far away because almost everything in the centre of Higher Lands knew that Lower Tadfield was not an overly wealthy place. The was so little gold that people preferred to barter for trade because it was safest in the long run.



     (They had to be the world’s most incompetent bandits which made a lot worse the fact that she was unable to escape from them immediately).



     She was trying to steal a dagger from one of the bandits when a horn sound all around the place. The bandits stopped their passing, looking positively confused, and so was Aziraphale, who wasn’t even aware that the townsfolk had possession of a horn. Her thoughts got lost when an arrow flew through the air to bury right in the middle of the Bandit’s Chief face. The man fell to the ground without grace, and Aziraphale with him, while hell broke all around them. The blonde crawled around the men trying to not be stepped on, but it was an almost impossible quest, since everyone was panicking, from the bandits to her people and the animals that came with them. She didn’t want to rise but at the same time didn’t want to be killed when she finally escaped, so she pressed her teeth and tried to be back in her feet. Just when she was about to a cutting sound froze her in her place and the head of one of the bandits hit the ground like a ball, wallowing blood all over the place.



     “Goddess Almighty!”. Aziraphale screamed, landing on her bum when she backed off. It wasn’t especially scary but the wave of utter disgust that went from her stomach to her throat was (almost) more than what she could manage.



     “Are you alright, my lady?”. Asked a firm, yet strong voice, interrupting the nausea and other nasty thoughts.



     When Aziraphale rose her eyes from the man’s head, she found a warrior goddess of burning hair and bright golden eyes watching her from above. She choked with saliva, but fortunately the woman didn’t seem to notice that. The strange was wearing a light black tunic without crest and had a long red sword in her hands. If one looked at her in the street surely one wouldn’t take her for a warrior, for her person was slender and light. But her firm posture and the sharp gleam in her eyes banished any doubt of her force. Aziraphale found herself bowing her eyebrows with interest, because damn, that was a good sight. The warrior seemed to be waiting for something and then Aziraphale realized that she had asked her something.



     “I’m… I’m fine, thank you”. She babbled, finally getting up from the ground. Apparently, in the meantime of her little zone out, things calmed down a little bit around her. There were still bandits all around, but other guards seemed to be controlling them. The redhead goddess nodded, and rolled the sword in her fingers with easiness.



     “I’ll have to ask you to find shelter, my lady. There’s still very much to do. Please be safe and don’t go out before the noise stops”. Said the warrior, and she was about to walk away when Aziraphale snapped.



     “Wait!”. She yelled, and the woman looked at her confused. Aziraphale blushed. “Can you at least give me your name? I would like to know who I have to thank”. No matter how hard she tried, Aziraphale was sure that her voice showed more about her true intentions than she first intended.



     The woman seemed taken aback, but soon enough a sassy (and vastly pleased) smile appeared in her lips. “Sir Crowley of Lower Tadfield is my name, Madam. Just ask for me and I’ll come to you whenever you want”.



     Whenever she wanted to. Aziraphale gulped, turning around once the woman went back to business to look for shelter. Oh, she was so going to do that once all that madness was over. She couldn’t wait for see the warrior goddess again.