Her phone rings again, as it’s been doing on and off for the past forty-eight hours. Selina doesn’t need to check who it is. She knows. Only two people have this number and one of them wouldn’t be calling.
Not that she’d answer for him anyway.
Not after the shit he’s pulling.
The call finally stops and it’s back to blissful silence in her place. Sure, she could turn the phone off, but deep down (very deep down) she likes the feeling that someone cares. And maybe once she decides to get up and grab her phone from where she tossed it into the old beanbag in the corner, it might have a missed call from him instead.
Which is dumb to think.
It’s so stupid.
She doesn’t even want to try to hope.
But sometimes a girl can’t help it.
He’d given her the phone a few years ago. Damn. It feels like it’s been longer than that. Lifetimes. Back before the bridges blew and she basically died. Back before Ra’s al-whoever screwed with his head. She rarely used it but supposedly her having it made him feel like she was safe.
Like he cares about her safety now.
Hot tears prick at the corner of her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. Refuses to give in to the tightening of her throat and the sickness of her stomach. Refuses because if she gives in, it means he’s won and that isn’t fair because he won’t even be around to gloat about it.
Gloat about how she misses him. How she needs him. Wants him.
He’s all she has and it’d kill her to admit that now. She’s gotta be stronger than that. Like she’s always had to be.
She told him she’d be there for him.
Sucks that he didn’t feel the same.
Sucks that he always, always feels some ridiculous sense of guilt for all the shit that’s happening around them instead of looking out for himself and what he wants.
But then he wouldn’t be Bruce.
A while later, she decides to pick up when Jeeves calls again. She’d gotten her moping done and she might as well answer so he leaves her alone.
“He didn’t do it to hurt you, Miss Kyle.”
“Want me to hang up on you again?”
“You bloody well can, but you know I’ll just call back.”
She sighs. It’s kinda bogus for him to care now that Bruce is gone. “What do you want?”
“I know it’s hard. I’m going to miss him too.”
“Yeah. Least he said goodbye.”
He’s silent for a moment on the other end. “You deserved better than a letter. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever. Thanks I guess.” She doesn’t want to be angry with Alfred. It especially wouldn’t do well for the whole ‘not-caring’ vibe she’s going for.
Alfred clears his throat on the other end. “Things’ll be tough while they rebuild. I know Master Bruce wouldn’t want you to be alone.”
She scoffs. “He doesn’t get a say.”
And for a moment, Selina believes he might say more. Might give her something to hope for, a timeline in which Bruce comes back to Gotham tomorrow.
Of course she’s disappointed.
“Take care of yourself, Miss Kyle. And if you ever need anything—”
“Thanks, Alfred. I got it.”
She hangs up and tosses her phone away. After a moment of thought, she swipes it back up before shutting it off completely.
She’s got no need for it anymore.