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Deathnotetober- Love is the Death of Duty

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 Light awoke as he did most days. That's to say, not warm and content or filled with energy and eager to start the day. 

Oh No, Light woke up as he usually did. Annoyed

"Light. Liiiight? Light?! LIGHT!"

"GOD DAMN IT, RYUZAKI!" Light really did worry for his heart. Being chained to L was the single most stressful experience of his life. If Kira didn't get him first then stress related cardiac arrest would, he was certain of it! 

Ryuzaki was utterly unrepentant as he persisted in his poking and sat back on his heels. "Finally. I've been prodding you and calling your name for the last six minutes and forty seconds. I need to urinate, and rather badly, so you need to get up"

Light let out a gust of air from his mouth and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. L had woken him up because he needed to take a leak. Wonderful. 

"Why don't you just take the cuffs off?" Light muttered as he slowly climbed out of bed to follow L to the ensuite. "You have the key" he reminded petulantly. 

"That is just what Kira would say" L replied in that smug-accusatory way that set Light's teeth on edge. He could deal with Ryuzaki and his Kira percentages once he'd had his coffee but before that… throttling him seemed the best option. Or perhaps kissing him. Anything that would keep that bloody tongue busy and unable to talk ("Liiiiight!") for five minutes… 

Light ducked his head as his face flushed. He'd thought of kissing Ryuzaki again. Those thoughts were getting harder and harder to ignore now. As where other side effects from their proximity. Light had lost count of the number of times he had laid in the darkness willing his erection away while Ryuzaki had either been draped haphazardly across him or nonchalantly typing away on his laptop.

"That is better" L announced as he washed his hands. Light leaned against the door and crossed his arms in irritation. L spent an inordinate amount of time washing his hands. It went beyond the recommended washing time to obsessive. 

"Why?" Light had to ask. "Why are you always washing your hands. Why do you wash them for five minutes at a time?"

L's eyes flew up to his through the mirror and Light was intrigued to see a faint flush paint Ryuzaki's usually pale face with colour. Light couldn't help but note the blush suited Ryuzaki. 

"I…" L cleared his throat and turned off the taps with an aggressive jerk. Light could see he had rattled him and the petty side of him was glad. He was sick of waking up to L prodding him and whining his name in a near perfect Misa impression. At least Ryuzaki now knew what it was like to be annoyed. "If you really must know, Light, it is something of a fixation of mine. I've been this way when I was a child. I… detest not feeling clean. I am aware my habits are eccentric and odd to most people and-" L suddenly stopped as if realizing he was saying too much. Light uncrossed his arms and offered a small smile. 

"Go on. You can tell me, Ryuzaki. I'm… well, I'm your friend and friends should tell each other this sort of stuff"

'Oh Light, if only you meant that' L thought sadly. While he enjoyed annoying the teen immensely it was something of a deliberate attempt to distract himself from his pain and frustration. He knew in his heart Light Yagami had been the first Kira and he was afraid he would become him again. He'd let himself get too close to the teenager now and his gut told him in the end his feelings (yes, he'd admitted they existed) would come back to bite him. 

"Ryuzaki" Light reached for him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me, you know…"

L looked up into sincere amber eyes and made a silent wish. He knew it was stupid but how he wished in that moment Light would never remember who he had been. If only Light could stay this way forever… He wouldn't even mind if nothing ever happened between them (even though deep down he wanted, was waiting, for Light to make a move) so long as they could maintain this odd, tentative friendship they had. 

"I am Autistic, Light. I am on the spectrum for high functioning Aspergers and… My hand washing is… well, therapists have suggested a symptom of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder to a physical manifestation of childhood trauma. I am a human being and I have human problems" L bit out the last bit. He felt compelled to argue that yes, the Great Detective was a 21 year old Human Being and not a robot. He did have feelings, fears and dreams just like everyone else. He was not just a shut-in weirdo or a letter on a screen… 

Light had stepped closer and L's eyes widened in shock as he felt Light's arms wrap around him. He couldn't stop the slight tremors that ran through his body at the feeling of such warm pressure against his body. Watari was the only one who he permitted to embrace him and even then it was a rarity. Why was Light holding him like this? Didn't he realise it wasn't fair to play with his feelings like this?

L closed his eyes and allowed himself to indulge. He'd soak up the warmth and the feeling of Light's hands rubbing little circles into his back and store the memory away deep inside his heart. 

"Thank you for confiding in me, Ryuzaki. I think I finally understand you a little better now" Light's words were soft and sincere as they drifted to his ear. "I spend a lot of my time annoyed at you but… I care for you too, Ryuzaki. I hope you know that"

L felt his heart seize at the words. "Light…"

Light pulled away and smiled down at him. "You've told me a secret so I will tell you one of mine too" Light gently lifted L's chin with his hand and-

'He's leaning in?! Is he going to kiss me?! -'

L's entire body stiffened in shock as he felt the gentle brush of Light's lips against his own. He felt an ache of longing sweep through him when, as quick as he had descended, Light pulled away. 

"I like you, Ryuzaki. I have liked you for weeks now. Can… can I kiss you again? "

L could only whisper out a shocked "Yes, Light" before he felt those soft lips cover his own again…  

Light was smiling as he kissed him. As Ryuzaki tentatively began to kiss back Light decided that sometimes getting annoyed was a pretty good thing indeed beca use just as he'd hoped he'd ended up kissing Ryuzaki.