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Spycheck!

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The RED base at Teufort was mostly asleep at 5am, but music and mechanical sounds could be heard coming from a well lit garage. The Engineer had a habit of working early hours in the morning and was fixing some minor issues with his turret, happily humming to a familiar song on the radio, when he felt a slight bump on his helmet. It came from above, and as the man reflexively touched the top of his helmet, he realised it was wet. Strange. Then a second drop fell on his hand, and he looked up.

Water was dripping from the ceiling. Infiltration from the rain? Couldn’t be. As much as it was pouring rain at the moment, the building was fairly tall and there were still floors above the garage...

The man narrowed his eyes behind goggles as he imagined what could have happened. He left his tools on the ground and walked up the stairs to the mess hall, which was now dark and devoid of people, but there was a very suspicious sound of running water coming from the kitchen across the hall.

Before he even got to reach the light switch, he heard splashes as his heavy boots stepped on a very damp floor. Then he turned on the lights to see a very wet, desperate, frightened-looking Scout doing his best to duct tape the tap to the sink where it should be.

“...please don’t tell anyone” Scout whimpered.

“I don’t think I’ll have to” Engineer’s voice sounded as under control as ever, but he was truly amused by the mess Scout managed to make in the kitchen. Every inch of the floor was soaked, the electronics seemed to have short circuited, and there were quite a few remains of smashed plates scattered around. “‘the hell did you do, boy?”

“I’m sorry, alright?” Scout said out loud and then remembered he should keep his voice low so as not to wake up anybody else, though his ‘low’ was still louder than anyone’s regular volume. “Couldn’t sleep, alright? So I decided to practice my swings.”

“What, here?”

“I got hungry” he whimpered again. “And excited. There was an apple in-” The tap flew to the other side of the kitchen as the poorly arranged duct tape gave out, and water started spilling everywhere again. “Y-you can fix this, right?”

With a sigh the engineer went down to the garage, got his toolbox, went up again to the kitchen and found Scout still trying to contain the water with his hands.

“Go get a mop… or somethin’” he said when approaching the sink, and Scout promptly ran to find a mop. Engineer wasn’t sure what exactly could be done to get rid of so much water - surely a mop wasn't enough - but they’d figure it out.

**

Demoman was always the last to wake up and leave his room, when he managed to sleep in his room at all. He got up and walked lazily across the corridor to the mess hall, as always, eager for his breakfast which should be the first bottle he could find of anything alcoholic to get rid of his uncomfortable sobriety, and eggs. He expected to find the rest of the team in the mess hall, eating and talking and maybe arguing, but today was different. Today was silent .

He felt a weird thing in his gut. Probably acid reflux, though.

“Mornin’” he said, walking straight across the mess hall towards a box of beer that was on top of a counter. It was only when he opened a bottle and took a sip that he noticed none of his colleagues responded to him, nor looked at him; they were all sitting around a table, looking at nothing in particular, in absolute silence. He also noticed the box of beer was damp, and totally not in the fridge. In fact, there was no fridge at all, nor stove, nor much else in the kitchen...

Demoman started to wonder whether he was actually still strapped in his delirious dream from a week before, but then Engineer stood up from his seat.

“Well, now that we’re all gathered here… Scout, do you mind?”

Scout was sitting further from the table, arms crossed and a pissed look on his face. He felt everyone’s eyes fall over him. Utterly humiliating.

 “Yeah, it was me.” he said, gazing anywhere but his colleagues’ faces. “I broke the sink, water spilled everywhere, stuff short circuited, the end. My bad.”

Engineer sighed.

“We did our best to fix everything, but I’m gonna need some more time. Things got messed up real bad. Gonna need a day at least.”

“Mmm-mm-mph?”

“Yes Pyro, we do have a combat scheduled for today. But there’s still time t’ go to the market an’ bring back some ready-to-eat food, at least.” The sound of a loud thunder interrupted Engie’s speech, and the rain got heavier. “...any volunteers?”

Soldier immediately raised his arm.

“Yes, Soldier?"


“I volunteer Scout.”

“I must agree.” Spy added, lighting a cigarette.

“Well I don’t.” Scout muttered.

“Wait” Sniper asked Engineer, “wot about the food in the fridge?”

“You can eat cold lunch from yesterday an’ spoiled milk if that’s what you want.” Both Engie and Sniper shrugged, though Engie’s shrug probably meant ‘that’d be weird’, and Sniper’s was more like a ‘sure, why not?’

“Had sandvich in fridge” Heavy stated.

“Mmm no, I didn’ see no sandwich.”

“Yes I’ll go” Scout suddenly jumped out of the chair, tense and very much aware of Heavy’s furious gaze upon him. “Where’s the truck keys?”

Engie barely pulled the keys out of his overalls pocket when Scout took them and ran down the stairs like a bullet. A second later the team could hear the truck’s engine running, and going way. Engineer took the chance to try and think of a plan while his colleagues remained silent.

“Pyro, friend” He eventually spoke and the masked man listened, attentive. “Help me dry the equipment while Scout’s not here, will ya? No fire involved. Just hot air. Sounds fun enough?”

Pyro nodded, and the meeting was considered over. The team disbanded, with Pyro and Engineer walking down to the garage together.

**

“Shit. I’m not sure ’s even possible to recover that.” Engineer said when Pyro lifted some piece of technology dripping water from inside the fridge. It looked fried, besides wet. “But we gotta try at least. I think there should be a hair dryer around ‘ere somewhere… nope, not here. Maybe there.”

He’d seen a hair dryer around long ago, but it’s one of those things that seemingly came out of nowhere and had no use for the team most of the time, so were kept stored somewhere no one cared to remember. Near the garage were some rarely explored metallic storage containers, and Engie thought there was a chance he’d find a hair dryer there.

He whistled a song while opening the container’s doors one by one, trying not to care about the rain that poured over him, and luckily most of them had barely anything inside, so it wasn’t a lot of work to look around. He opened one, two, three... and when he opened the fourth, he froze.

Pyro could sense something was odd. He walked up to Engineer, curious, and peeked over the other man’s shoulder.

Inside the container, there was Scout. He was all tied up to the point he could barely move, duct tape around his mouth, and one black eye. He was desperately trying to speak, making all sorts of sounds with his nose, but Engie was too dumbfounded to think of removing the tape from the boy’s mouth at the moment. His mind was racing, trying to make sense of the situation, and eventually something clicked.

It could only mean one thing. No way to know what went on Pyro’s head, but they looked at each other at the same time, maybe realising the same thing, Engie hoped.

“Pyro…”  he said, staring deep at the black round eyes of Pyro’s mask. “...I think we have a-”

Sudden sounds of Pyro clapping hands interrupted Engineer. The masked man then proceeded to walk happily into the container and lifted something off the floor. It was a hair dryer. Even Scout went silent and stared at him in confusion.

Then Pyro stared back at Scout. And then at Engineer. And then back at Scout, letting out an exclamation. At this point, Engineer walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Well done, pal. Now look. Listen.” he said. “Scout’s here. What does that mean?”

Pyro placed a hand in front of his mask in a surprised gesture.

“Yes” Engie nodded, looking deep into the mask’s eyes again, this time certain that the other man was listening. “I think that means we have a BLU Spy to catch.”