It surprised Lan Wangji to no end, how much he burned with want for Wei Ying.
It had been the same, in Wei Ying's first life. Lan Wangji had once seen Wei Ying, his skin illuminated by moonlight, a stream of Emperor's Smile running down his chin.
Lan Wangji had learned what it was to lust that night. He learned how to want, how to burn, how it felt to want to push another person to the ground and work his legs open.
Not that he would admit it to himself, of course. He'd burned with desire and refused to acknowledge it, passing it off as a brief moment of insanity.
It wasn't until that fateful month at the Library Pavillion when Lan Wangji had uttered a curse, for the first time in his life, in the silence of his bedroom, upon the realization that he was falling in love with one Wei Ying, courtesy name Wei Wuxian, and kind of also wanted to fuck him silly too.
And now he was married to Wei Ying, now in a different body, but Lan Wangji did not want him any less.
In fact, now that he'd tasted him, known how it had felt to hold Wei Ying underneath him and fuck him until he was nothing more than a whining mess, Lan Wangji wanted him even more.
Wei Ying was sitting at the desk of the Jingshi, leaning over a scroll. Lan Wangji did not know what it was he was working on, eyes only noticing the way he twirled the brush between his fingers, the tip of its handle resting on a full lower lip.
Wei Ying had a beautiful mouth. Lan Wangji had sucked those full lips between his own, had worried their softness between his teeth. He'd pried them open with his tongue and tasted him that way, another way he made love to Wei Ying.
The tip of the brush handle pressed ever slightly deeper on Wei Ying's lip. Before he knew it, Lan Wangji's fists were clenched into his pants, the fabric making a slight sound of protest in his grip.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Ying said with a laugh, not even looking up. "Seriously? I'm just doing work."
"Always want Wei Ying."
Wei Ying smiled, and rolled his eyes. He resumed his writing, whistling softly as he did.
Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi were sparring, their swords clanking together loudly, breaking the quiet of the Cloud Recesses.
"Again." Wei Ying sighed, crossing his arms. "A-Yuan, your supporting leg is weak. If a real enemy catches you on this position, you'll stumble for sure."
Lan Sizhui panted, and nodded in his direction, brushing a sweat dampened lock of hair from his face. "Yes, Senior Wei."
Lan Wangji simply sat there with his scrolls, watching. Wei Ying paced, observing the forms of the two disciples as they sparred.
"Lan Jingyi, you need to relax your shoulder- ah!" Wei Ying stumbled slightly, his boot catching on the edge of a small rock. He caught himself by stepping forward, bending over slightly.
The short robe he wore over his pants rode up, exposing the round shape of his rear. Lan Wangji's hands clenched down, and then he heard the paper in his hands tear.
Wei Ying turned at the sound, and immediately understood the situation. He blew Lan Wangji a kiss. Lan Wangji's ears burned.
Lan Wangji most definitely had a problem, it seemed.
He loved and lusted for Wei Ying in equal amounts. His love had many outlets, between soft kisses he gave his husband, the meals he cooked for him, small gifts here and there, the tender cuddles and hugs they shared at every moment they could, but there were only so many avenues one could pursue to expel lust until one's body (or his partner's, for that matter) gave out.
And so, Lan Wangji was struck with wisdom, and he opened a new roll of parchment.
Writing was a good outlet for one's emotions, his brother had told him once. Perhaps it would work.
Lan Wangji began to write.
The front of Wei Ying's robes fell open slightly today. I had to stop myself from taking him right there in front of my brother and my uncle. I made a small prayer to the Crown Prince of Xian Le for strength. I am not sure he listened.
Wei Ying's robe had fallen ever so slightly open, revealing the thinnest sliver of skin to Lan Wangji's eyes.
As he pondered over the memory, he heard something crack.
Lan Wangji looked down to see he had snapped the paintbrush in half.
After throwing away the ruined paintbrush, he sat down and continued to write.
Nevermind. I think His Highness Xie Lian gave me too much strength.
They were walking together, Lan Wangji's arm wrapped possessively around Wei Ying's shoulders. His hand rested on Wei Ying's firm bicep, covered with the dark fabric of his sleeve.
Wei Ying whistled their song as they walked, twirling Chenqing around in his hands. He looked up at Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji looked down at him, noticing how far Wei Ying had to crane his neck to look at him properly.
Wei Ying had such long eyelashes, which were only lightly curled. They framed his eyes so prettily.
Wei Ying put a hand on his Lan Wangji's chest. Then, he frowned.
"Lan Zhan, you have a bad habit." Wei Ying said, sighing. "Let go of my arm before you do that."
Lan Wangji blinked, and let go.
Wei Ying grinned up at him, eyes sparkling. "I didn't even do anything, my love. Hanguang-jun, you're being shameless again."
Lan Wangji held his chin in his hand, and then bent down for a kiss.
That night, Lan Wangji opened another scroll.
Today, simply looking at Wei Ying standing next to me made me want to throw him over my shoulder and keep him inside the Jingshi with me for three consecutive days. I am glad for our everyday activities, it is the only way I can keep my composure. They say the Ghost King Hua Cheng was abstinent for 800 years before marrying his husband, I will light incense sticks at the temple of the Crown Prince of Xian Le tomorrow to show my admiration for such strength and tenacity of will.
Wei Ying was drinking tea.
Now, Lan Wangji knew fully well that drinking tea was a rather innocuous, daily act. But, for Lan Wangji, watching Wei Ying drink tea was endlessly sensual.
Lan Wangji was fully hard in his pants as he sat at the desk of the Jingshi, watching Wei Ying seated across the table, liquid running down his chin.
His hands clenched down on the paintbrush he held, but then let it go before he could break it again.
"Oh, oops, I spilled some~." Wei Ying said, shooting him a sly smile. "Wait, Hanguang-jun, wait, oh no you're getting up- aah!"
There was a time, in Wei Ying's first life, when they were mere youths training in the Cloud Recesses, before the Wens had gone and destroyed everything.
Wei Ying had been playing by the stream, tossing rocks casually into the water, uncaring of whether they skipped or not.
Lan Wangji had been passing by, and, his desire for Wei Ying having only just been realized then, had stopped to watch his slender figure as it bent to pick up a new pebble and toss it into the water.
Lan Wangji stood there, watching as Wei Ying sat down, and took off his boots, revealing the soft, pale skin of his feet.
It was the most of Wei Ying's bare skin he had ever seen, and he was nearly dizzy as blood suddenly rushed away from his head and down south.
Lan Wangji watched, reeling with desire as Wei Ying then rolled up the hems of his pants, and waded in. He hands gripped on the hems of his sleeves, and he heard fabric tear between his fingers.
Lan Wangji ran, not stopping until he got to his room, and slammed the door shut. He nearly tore his pants trying to get them off, and within several minutes was spurting into his own hands, lips bitten to keep Wei Ying's name from spilling.
He had been filled with repressed emotion then, new in his depth of love and lust for Wei Ying.
Of course, now, he was much older and the depth of his feelings had not waned even in the slightest (in fact, it had even grown), but his composure had reached a manageable level. He did still clench his fists whenever he found Wei Ying doing something particularly arousing, but a man needed some sort of outlet, did he not?
Wei Ying did eventually find the scrolls in which he'd written the most shameless of his lustful thoughts and desperate prayers, and had laughed for nearly an hour straight.
Lan Wangji had not been filled with lust this time, but instead his chest swelled with a love that was so warm
that moisture had pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he cupped Wei Ying's laughing face in his hands and kissed all over his cheeks.