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Use Both Hands

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Sam walked out of the motel room, closing the door quietly behind him. Dean’s self-loathing could be obnoxious to deal with on a good day, but at the moment he was downright impossible. Sam looked to the sky before closing his eyes. He took in a deep breath, attempting to calm his nerves, and let his shoulders fall.

“Sam?” The younger Winchester opened his eyes and looked towards the gravelly voice that called him. “Is everything ok?”

Sam opened his mouth to speak but closed it before any words could come out. He carded his fingers through his hair, gently tugging on a small knot. For over ten years he’s danced between Dean and Cas. Ten years of watching them, wondering if they would ever make a move of their own. Dean thought that Cas had stormed off in anger after this morning, and here the angel had a tray of coffees in one hand, and a bag of — most likely — donuts in the other. Sam silently prayed to Gabriel, a trick the archangel had taught him when he didn’t want Cas to hear his prayers, that he wouldn’t be caught in his little white lie. “Dean’s cranky. He’s got a bit of an issue and doesn’t want to bother anyone with it. You know how he gets.”

“Perhaps once he is caffeinated, he’ll be more accommodating to being checked out?” Cas lifted the tray of coffees in his hand. “There is one for you also. A ‘red-eye’ as I recall.” Cas looked at the cups and rotated until a specific cup was in front of Sam, offering it to him. “Do you want to go back in with me?”

“Actually, I’m going to make a few phone calls, and head into town.” Sam grabbed his coffee. “Once you get Dean into a decent mood, text or call me. I’ll let you know where I’m at.” He took a sip of his coffee and sighed contently. “Thanks, Cas.”

“You’re welcome, Sam.” Cas smiled and turned to enter their temporary residence. Before he opened the door, he looked over his shoulder. “Where is Dean injured?”

“His head. He’s got a bad headache and some confusion going on.”

Cas nodded and headed into the room, the door closing with a quiet click behind him.

Sam shook his head and pulled out his phone before heading towards the motel office. He pulled up the app for a taxi while contemplating if it was too early to see if there was another room available for the night.


“I’m still not going to talk about it, Sam.” Dean’s back was to the door, and his head was resting in his palms. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Would caffeine help, Dean?”

Cas’ voice caused Dean to whip around and look at the door. “Uh. Yeah, it’s um...” Dean ran his fingers through his hair. “It’s appreciated, Cas.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Dean.” Cas set the coffees and the bag of pastries down on the table before carefully pulling one out of drinks out of the tray. He crossed the room and sat down on the bed next to Dean, handing him the cup. “Sam told me that you were suffering from some head issues.”

“Son of a bitch.” Dean let out a half-hearted chuckle before taking a sip of his coffee. “Of course he’d say that.”

“Would you like me to take a look?” Cas preemptively raised his hand, his fingers close to Dean’s temple. “If it’s a headache, I can heal it, and that could help with the confusion you’re experiencing.”

Dean swatted gently at Cas’ hand, unintentionally catching it and pinning it to the bed between them. “Sam doesn’t know what he’s talking about, Cas.”

“I believe your brother knows you better than you give him credit for.” Cas tilted his head and squinted. “Something is bothering you. I can feel that your pulse just sped up.”


“You’re holding my hand, Dean.”

Dean looked down at his hand and quickly pulled it away, carding it through his hair again. “Sorry ‘bout that, Cas.”

“I’m sorry that I make you uncomfortable.” Cas started to stand back up when he felt a gentle tug on his trench coat. “Dean?” He repositioned himself on the bed and sat closer to the older Winchester. Cas looked closer and noticed the fading red color around his eyes that would have previously been a telltale of crying. “Dean, please, talk to me.”

“I’m no good with words, Cas.” Dean shook his head and looked away. “We fought this morning, and you stormed off. I don’t even remember what it was about. Shouldn’t have been a fight.”

“While I disagree that we had a fight this morning, we’ve had our fair share of arguments.” Cas hooked his finger under Dean’s chin — feeling a hitched breath escape his lips — and turned his face so they were looking at each other. “What’s different about this morning?”

Dean closed his eyes and licked his lips, attempting to hide his embarrassment. “For some reason, I didn’t think you were going to come back.” Dean opened his eyes and appeared to be searching Cas’ for something. “I thought it was the final straw or some bullshit like that.”

“Dean, I admit that I left because I was annoyed, and I didn’t want to escalate to a fight, but I always come when you call.” Cas changed the position of his hand from holding Dean’s face in place to gently cupping his cheek. “It would take a lot to rip me from your side, Dean Winchester.”

“Like what?” Dean asked as he nuzzled into Cas’ hand.

Cas smiled. “Something more permanent than death, Dean.” Cas ran his thumb over the apple of Dean’s cheek. “Please forgive me if I’m misreading this.” He leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Dean’s, pulling a surprised sound from the hunter’s lips. Cas softly pressed their foreheads together after reluctantly pulling away. “Please tell me I wasn’t wrong, Dean.”

Dean shook his head. He set his coffee on the nightstand behind before shooting forward and entangling his fingers in the hair at the back of Cas’ neck, his lips locking back onto his angel’s. Dean pulled away to take a breath of air, “I’m not dreaming, am I, Cas?”

“No, Dean.” Cas grabbed Dean by the hips and pulled him onto his lap. “Not unless I am also dreaming.”

“Can angels dream if they don’t sleep?”

“No, but we can imagine. And I have often imagined having you right here.” Cas tilted his chin up and stole another kiss from Dean’s lips. “I’ve wanted you here, in my grasp, for longer than I care to admit.”

Dean laughed, the powerful sound rolling from the back of his throat. “You can’t just say that and assume I’m not going to ask you for how long.” A small shiver shot up Dean’s spine as Cas’s fingers traced up his back, his right hand resting on Dean’s left shoulder. Dean turned his head to look at Cas’ hand. “You know I miss it?”

“Miss what?” Cas questioned, his left hand playing with the hem of Dean’s flannel.

Dean took a deep breath before looking back at Cas, taking a moment to build his confidence. “Your handprint.” His shoulders bounced in a silent chuckle. “It’s been years since I’ve had it, but I still remember it, just like yesterday.”

“At the time, I thought you may no longer want it. You wanted to move on. You went almost directly to Lisa.” Cas brought his hands to Dean’s chest and ran them up and under the shoulders of his flannel. Dean let his arms fall to his side, and Cas finished pushing the shirt off of him. The angel paused before offering a sad smile. “I needed to let you go.”

“Let me go?” Dean’s response was soft and reserved. “You’ve wanted me for that long?”

Cas nodded. “There is no lie when it comes to you and I sharing a more profound bond, Dean. You made me doubt. You made me feel. You made me want to fall.” He deliberately placed his hand on Dean’s shoulder. “I had made a claim on you, for Heaven. I didn’t realize at the time that it would be for myself as well.”

“I wish I had realized sooner, Cas.” Dean wrapped his arms behind Cas’ neck, tilting his chin down to kiss him again. “I wanted you but thought I couldn’t have you. Thought I wasn’t good enough.”

“That was always for me to determine. Not you.”

Dean tugged at Cas’ trench coat and helped the angel slide out of it. “Yeah, Sam has kinda been trying to drill that into my head.”

“He has? That’s interesting.” Cas slowly laid back on the bed, pulling Dean down on top of him. “There is something you should know.” He carded his fingers through Dean’s hair. “I never fully relinquished my claim on you.”

“Never?” Dean bit his bottom lip as Cas started pulling his teeshirt up his back, the fabric softly grazing over his skin. “What are you getting up to down there, Cas?”

“I have waited ten years, Dean,” Cas finished removing the shirt over Dean’s head. “You said I’m not reading this wrong. I want this. I want you.”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. “Cas. I, uh.” He nodded, unable to find a reason to protest. “Yeah, I’m yours.”

“Good.” Cas started to unbutton his shirt when Dean smacked his hands away and took over. “Was I not fast enough for you?”

“Returning the favor, Angel.” Dean leaned down and pressed his lips against Cas’ before slipping his tongue in, teasing Cas’ lips open for access. Their tongues danced around each, teasing and taunting as Dean finished unbuttoning Cas’ shirt and running his fingers along the angel’s exposed chest.

In a fluid movement, reminding Dean of Cas’ strength, Cas wrapped his arm around the hunter’s waist, before he set them up and flipped them, laying Dean gently on his back. He traced a finger down Dean’s chest, moving from freckle to freckle, watching as his soon-to-be lover squirmed under him. Once his finger reached the top of Dean’s pants, Cas swiftly undid the belt in his way before undoing the jeans. He tapped Dean’s thigh and hooked his fingers in the waistband, pulling off the pants in one quick motion.

“Impatient, Cas?” Dean smirked, a chill running up his spine.

“As you said, ‘returning the favor,’” Cas climbed back on top of Dean and reignited their kiss, his fingers grabbing at and tangling in sandy brown hair.

Dean whimpered into the kiss, his leg wrapping around Cas’ to keep him in place. When the angel pushed himself up and away, Dean huffed, complaining audibly and physically. “Cas, come back, please. Now I’m cold, and my lips are lonely.”

“I figured you wanted more.” Cas undid his own belt and pants, pushing them down over his hips. “I can put this all away?”

“Take off your boxers too. Then come back, please.” Dean bit his lip and moved to push down his own boxer briefs.

Cas nodded and untangled his leg from Dean’s before he stood and finished undressing.

Dean took in a sharp breath and sat up, grabbing at Cas’ hips and pulling him closer. “Last call, Angel. We’re about to cross a line we can’t uncross. There is no going back.”

“I’m sure, Dean.” Cas leaned down and planted a kiss on Dean’s forehead. “I don’t want to go back.”

Dean nodded, his green eyes looking up and locked on Cas’ blue. He slowly wrapped his hand around Cas’ erection, letting out the breath he forgot he had taken. Dean leaned forward, his tongue lapping the underneath of the head before wrapping his lips around it, earning a pleasured shudder from Cas.

Cas placed his right hand back on Dean’s left shoulder to keep his balance while his left hand explored and played with Dean’s hair. He closed his eyes and let his head roll back as his hunter slides his lips back and forth, further down his cock each time. Cas looked back down at Dean, instantly lost on how enthusiastic Dean was to bring him pleasure. He gently pulled back on the soft brown hair, eliciting a whimper, and pushed Dean onto his back. “Get comfortable, Dean.”

“You know what you’re doin’, Angel?” Dean inquired playfully as he pushed himself back on the bed. “Unless I’m mistaken, you haven’t done this before.”

Cas climbed on top of Dean, straddling him before leaning down and kissing and nibbling on his neck. Dean let out a surprised moan, turning his head to steal a kiss. Cas laughed into the kiss. “Would it be foolish to say that I learned it from the pizza man?” He slowly and softly started to rut against Dean as his lips brushed against his lover’s jaw.

“Cas!” Dean gasped out, his back arching as he moved his hips to meet each of Cas’ stokes against his skin.

“Do you like it?” Cas reached down between them and took Dean into his hand, working him up into a frenzy. “Please tell me I’m doing it right?”

Dean dug his fingers into the pillow and blanket under him, nodding in response. “Feels good, Cas. So good, Angel.” He licked his lips before biting the bottom one, his lust blown eyes finding Cas’. “C’mere.” Dean readjusted his legs and spread them so Cas was between them, and pulled him back down on top of him. “That’s it.” He locked his lips with his angel’s, wrapping his arms around him in a firm embrace.

Cas started thrusting again, their cocks rubbing against each other as Dean clung to him, his fingers digging into his back and claiming him with their own marks. “You are mine, Dean,” he breathed out as their movements became more fervent.

“Always yours, Cas.” Dean mewled, as his body started to stiffen. “I’m so close. Cas, I’m gonna—” Dean buried his face in the crook of Cas’ neck as he came, hot white ropes marking both of their bodies.

“So good, Dean,” Cas whispered against Dean’s skin. He brought their mouths back together, crying out as his own orgasm washed over him. He slowly laid himself down next to Dean on the bed, their legs still tangled together. Cas looked over at his hunter and sighed contently. “Hello, Dean.”

Dean smiled as he finally realized the meaning behind those two words. He ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, lost in the moment, lost in the passion, lost in everything that he had been hiding.

“Hey, Cas.”