Work Header

Captain Asshat is a Good Lay

Work Text:

Despite it being unadvisable, you had been getting yourself off almost nightly in your shield barrack/dormitory/whatever they were calling it this week to increase moral. The walls were thin and despite your best efforts to stay quiet if anyone was awake in the immediate area they probably heard you. You were the one of the leaders of the shield teams that get sent in after the Avengers, and it had the unfortunate consequence of requiring you to sit in on their team meetings and listen to their strategies so you could coordinate your people around them. It wasn’t at all the work you wanted to be doing. Your people were better trained than second stringers and they deserved to be treated like it, but Coulson would hear nothing of it, Maria just rolled her eyes at you when you mentioned it and it frustrated you to no end.

You, being the excellent, well-balanced person you were (not), translated your frustrations into two outlets: fighting and sex. 

You would have liked to channel it all into fighting, but Captain America spent a lot of time at the gym late at night, so you made due with what you could. 

Tonight was no different. You’d gotten to stay in the gym until nearly nine before Captain Asshat showed up. You’d started doing a cool down while he was taping up his hands so that by the time he was starting you could leave.

“Have a date, later, or are you just avoiding me?” He asked while you were bent in half stretching out your hamstrings.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business, Captain.” You didn’t even look up at him, because you didn’t want to give him that kind of power. Sure he was an okay guy, but he was your superior because of some steroids from the forties, and you hated that. You hated with every fiber of your being that he got to be in charge of you and undermine your authority on the field whenever he wanted just because of some experimental drugs made him the peak of human perfection.

He squatted down in front of you and you took a deep breath to keep from blowing up at him as you stretched to the other side to get away from him.

“I think you made it my business when you couldn’t keep it down last night, or any of the nights before that.“ You glances at him, incredulous and certain you’d heard him wrong, but you could feel your traitor ears heating up. You hung your head so you could pretend it was just blood flow and deepen your stretch, leaning in to it so you looked as uninterested in what he was saying as possible.

“You know, my room is right next to yours. I’ve been spending a lot more time in it this week.”

“Are you sexually harassing me, Captain?” You stood up and he stood too, towering over you like an asshole.

“If you ask me to stop I will.” He assured you, but you still watched him carefully. Even though he was too close to you for comfort you refused to concede ground and step back. He was the one that invaded your space, not the other way around. He could move. “But if I ask you to stop saying my name into your pillow will you?” His eyes are drowning you like oceans and his smirk is far too smug for you to let him know that.

You looked him up and down and then scoffed. “Well aren’t you presumptuous.” But your heart was rabbiting because damn it, you had been. You were angry, not blind, and you’d been spending so much time around him Captain Asshat had just worked his way into your fantasies.

“Hey, I can’t help what the serum enhances. My hearing is too good for you to drown it out with a little music. It’s really a treat to hear someone so put together come apart.” He leaned in, close to your ear, and you tensed, getting ready to fight him off and probably lose, “I’m going to be here for a couple hours. Save the finale for me?”

“Oh fuck off,” you grabbed your gym bag off the ground behind you and stormed past him, resolutely ignoring the wetness in your crotch, telling yourself it was just from your work out.

That night you showered and put yourself to bed determined not to touch yourself, but as you laid awake in bed it started to piss you off that you were changing your routine for Captain Asshat, and before you could think better of it your hand was in your panties and you were playing with your clit, just a little, to take the edge off. 

Your phone buzzed and you groaned, pulling your hand away to roll over and grab it off the night stand. When you saw who the text was from you nearly threw your phone. It was Shield Issue, and they could confiscate it at any time, so it just said “Captain Rogers,” but even that was enough to irritate you.

Captain Rogers: Thanks for waiting

You: is this flirting for you, because newsflash, in the 21st century we don’t just interrupt people while they’re in the middle of something.

Captain Rogers: I would hardly call that the middle.

You: I can’t believe people think you’re a gentleman.

Captain Rogers: I don’t think you’d like me if I were.

You knew he was playing games, trying to bait you, but damn it, you were horny and you wanted to see how far he would take it.

You: what makes you say that?

Captain Rogers: You just don’t seem like the kind of dame who’d want to be treated like a princess. Hell, you’d probably be insulted.

You: And what’s the alternative? 

Captain Rogers: That depends. You know how to use a safeword?

Your breath caught and one hand ghosted down your chest to your waist, playing along the hem of your pantries.

You: Who doesn’t?

Captain Rogers: Say it.

You: I know how to use a safeword. Mine’s the color system.

Captain Rogers: Color

You: Green

Captain Rogers: Good. Now take your hand away from your panties. 

You: Okay it is.

Captain Rogers: Don’t lie to me, I know you just started touching yourself again. Does disobeying my orders here do it for you? Since you can’t disobey me in the field?

You resolutely don’t stop. You bite your lip and breath deep as you play with the wet skin along your slit. 

Captain Rogers: It sure sounds like it. 

You don’t reply, instead shifting up so you can drag your tee shirt off. 

Captain Rogers: Stripping? Did I give you permission?

You: I don’t need your damn permission. You can lay there and listen to me get off, but don’t pretend you have any control here.

Captain Rogers: Now that’s no way for a lady to talk. 

You: Good thing I’m not a lady then, isn’t it.

Captain Rogers: What are you then, Agent?

You: I’m a leader. 

You slipped a finger inside caressing the warm flesh until you were deep enough to find your g-spot. You couldn’t, and wouldn’t, hold back the moan.

Captain Rogers: There’s no music on tonight. Anyone could hear you.

You pressed the side of your head into the pillow, ignoring his text messages.

Captain Rogers: I’m jealous of those fingers. How wet are you? Wet enough that you can slip another finger inside?

You started to fuck yourself in earnest, putting your phone down to use your other hand on your chest and clit. 

Captain Rogers: I can practically smell the sex from here. The way your toes curl, and your hips hitch up. Does it turn you on that I’m listening? That you have the power to turn me on? That I can’t help but jack off when you’re fucking yourself on the other side of the wall?

You arch your back, pulling your fingers out of yourself to rub at your clit when your other hand plays with your nipples.

Captain Rogers: All that soft skin, those sweet moans, and none of it’s for me. Or is it?

You laugh and his next text comes soon after.

Captain Rogers: Careful, you might hurt my feelings.

You finally let go of your tip to text him, without ever stopping the motions on your clit.

You: If that hurts your feelings I won’t even tell you who I’m thinking about.

Captain Rogers: How can you be thinking about anyone but me? You’re reading my text messages. You’re watching your phone for more. I can hear your breath hitch every time I send one. Don’t lie to me, princess.

You: I thought I wasn’t a princess.

Captain Rogers: I said I didn’t think you’d want to be treated like a princess. This is your punishment for lying. 

Captain Rogers: Sweet girl, touching your pretty pussy for me. Your fingers are so small though. Why don’t you let a man show you how to fill you up? I’d take good care of you, honey.

You: Gross, stop, okay, I give.

Captain Rogers: Are you sure? Because I heard your breath hitch. Do you like the idea of giving up power as much as taking it? Because I can give you that. I could hold your entire body with one hand, rub your clit with the other all while I fucked you. When was the last time you met a guy who could give you that?

You: last week on a mission.

Captain Rogers: I could give it to you better.

You were lying, but he hadn’t called your bluff this time. You didn’t know what game he was playing, but it was working.

You: what makes you say that? It was some of the best sex I ever had.

Captain Rogers: Because I’ve been listening to you touch yourself for a week and I know how you like it. Eidetic memory really helps you paint a picture. I know about that spot on your neck that you like to touch when you’re close, and how the best way to take you over is to squeeze your tits. How you like a light touch on your clit to keep yourself on the edge. How do you think my tongue would feel, flicking you there when you’re so close one hard rub would take you over? I could keep you like that for hours, super soldiers don’t get tired, and when I finally let you cum you’d scream loud enough that the whole compound would hear you.

“Fuck.” You whimpered, grinding down on your hand “Fuck, Steve.”

Captain Rogers: That’s right. Just me. No matter how much you hate me I’d still be the best you ever had. 

Captain Rogers: Color

“Green, shit, Rogers, come make good on your promises or shut the fuck up.” You didn’t acknowledge the whiny pitch of your voice, throwing the phone aside and going harder as you rode the wave higher and higher-

The door opened and you jumped, pulling you hand out of your panties and scrambling up but it was just Steve.

“I’m sorry, I thought that was an invitation.” He was in sweats and a top tight tee shirt, his shield held over his crotch. He set it aside, nonchalantly, like it hadn’t been hiding his very obvious boner. “You should really lock this.”

“Shut up and fuck me.”

Steve’s grin was predatory and he was on the bed straddling your hips in moments. “I think I’ve taken enough orders from you today. Maybe you can be in charge next time.” He wove a hand through your hair to tilt your head back and lick at just the right spot on your neck.

“Shit.” You whispered, grabbing him and trying to pull him flush against you, but he was an immovable object. “Steve. Your name is so not sexy.”

He chuckled, “I think I can make you forget about that. Color?” He asked as he started to kiss down your neck.

“Green. Stop asking. I will tell you if it changes.” 

He huffed a laugh as he flicked his tongue over your nipple and you pressed into the sensation. “You’re so impatient.” He flicked you again and you bucked your hips. “This where you need me?” He asked, trailing his other hand down your side to your clit. “You want me to touch you here?” He circles the skin, never touching you where you want it most, his hand stretching out your panties far more than your had, threatening to break the seams.

“Yes,” you said, trying to push your clit beneath his finger, but he wasn’t having it.

“Well then I think you’re going to have to wait. I’ve waited a week to touch you, I want to enjoy it. I want to try out all the little things you taught me, hear every moan and whimper and gasp you’ve been teasing me with up close and personal. I’m gonna treat you like the last you don’t think you are. How many times do you think you can come in one night? I got a doll to four once, wanna try for five?”

“Steve,” you started to reach for his cock, to convince him to hurry things along but he grabbed your hand and then the other, holding them in both of his and pinning them above your head. 

“Color. And don’t get smart with me about asking.”

You took a second, panting, before you answered. “Emerald shining green, Captain.”

He grinned and leaned down to mouth at your tit again, his tongue working your nipples like he promised to do to your clit and you pushed up, looking for more, but his free hand pressed down on your pelvis to keep you in place as he dragged his tongue down your stomach, keeping your hands locked firmly in his. “I’m going to let you go, and you’re not going to move your hands. If you do, then I’ll pull your panties back up and we’ll start the whole thing over, understood?”

You nodded, spreading your legs and pressing into the hand still on your pelvis. He let go and you locked your hands together to keep them there. “Good,” He said his other hand coming to settle on tour hip. “Now, let’s see my prize for getting you so worked up.” He grinned as he pulled your panties down, exposing the wet mess your fingers had left behind. “Gorgeous.” He whispered, leaning down to lap at your clit and spread your legs wide. “That’s worth the wait all on it’s own. You did all this for me, honey? Got all messy just from a couple raunchy texts?” He licked at your entrance and you gasped. He laughed and went to work eating you out in earnest, plunging his tongue deep inside and then lapping at your clit, when his fingers started teasing at your entrance you bucked your hips, hands gripping each other harder to keep from reaching for him. 

“Steve, fuck, please.” You threw your head back as he thrust two fingers into you, stretching you wide like his cock would. His rhythms was punishing in sharp contrast to the kitten licks of his tongue, and you turned your head to the side to scream in frustration as you approached your edge and got stuck there. “Steve!” You lost control, trying to move tour hips to take what you want but his grip on your hips was too strong and you could barely move. “Green just make me come, damn it!”

Steve laughed, stopping his ministrations entirely.

“Alright then, come.” He pressed hard on your clit with his tongue his hand not viciously pounding you reaching up to squeeze your tit. The world went white and you tended like a bow string as he pushed you over the edge. 

“Steve,” You whimpered as you came down and he was still pumping his fingers.


“Green. I can go again.” You were over sensitive in the best way and you wanted him inside you. “There are condoms in the drawer of the night stand.” 

“I brought my own.” He pulled a small sealed foil square out of his pocket and you reached for it. Checking the expiration date and that it was still sealed before handing it back to him. 

“As presumptuous as ever, I see.”

“I was invited.” He pulled his shirt off and then his pants, and your eyes went wide and your mouth watered at the sight of his cock. 

He unwrapped the condom, but you sat up, “Let me.” It was just an excuse to get your hands on his cock and by the look on his face he knew it. You pinched the tip and rolled it on, squeezing your thighs together as you ran your hand down his hard length. He moaned for the first time all night and it was your turn to grin. “Just don’t finish to fast, or I’ll mock you.” 

His eyes went dark. “That a challenge?”

“Isn’t everything?” Your brain was slower and more languid after your orgasm, and you just found yourself craving more. “How long can you last, all worked up for me like this?” You pumped his cock a couple times to prove your point and he writhed with it.

“I could do this all night.” He said, and something about the smirk on his face told you he meant it. 

“Well some of us need sleep, super Soldier, so maybe be out of here in an hour.”

“I can work with that. How do you want me?” You thought about it for a second and then smirked.

“You decide. I’m green.”

“Next time you’re gonna be in charge, aren’t you?” 

“What makes you think there’ll be a next time?”

He smirked as he rolled you onto your stomach and pulled your ass up. “Because you’re too power hungry to let me be the last one to top.” He ran the tip of his dick along your wet folds, teasing you by pressing just enough to make you feel him. “And there’s really nothing like a strong woman showing you your place, sitting on your face and taking her pleasure from you.” 

You pressed back, open mouthed at the mental image of riding Captain Americans face. “Shit.”

“Yeah, I thought you’d like that. But tonight you’re letting me take charge, and I do appreciate it.” He spread your legs a little wider and then pushed in, deep and slow and fluid until his hips were pressed against you. He groaned and you squeezed around him. “Fuck, yes.” He hissed, thrusting shallowly. “Fuck you’re so wet for me. With your slick and my spit.” 

“Fuck, Steve.” He was just big enough to stretch you without hurting and it was fantastic. Maybe it was all his talk but you’d never felt so perfectly filled in all your life. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

It was too much work to hold yourself up, so you let your face press into the mattress as he started to fuck you, hard, slow and calculated, like he knew how much you wanted him to just pound you. Maybe he did. You always went too fast until the very end. He started rub your clit in time with his thrusts and whined, his groans and hushed moans only egging you on as you squeezed and pushed back and “yes, there, Steve, there,” when he found your g-spot. And it was like a switch flipped as he started to fuck you, the bed squeaking and you held onto the sheets and screamed into your pillow as his motions became erratic and needy and, “so good for me, sweet heart. So tight. Squeeze that pussy, that’s right. Fuck, yes, fuck.” His hips fell still flush against your as he ground into you through his release. Once he was finished he pulled out and you whimpered, not quite there, but then he turned you over again, lifting you up against the wall and burying his face in your pussy again to lap at your clit until you screamed and then went silent, no one would be able to mistake what you’d been doing.

You both stayed there, panting, until Steve lowered you back down to the bed, taking the condom off to throw it away and collapsing beside you. Neither of you spoke for a while until you heard your phone buzz you picked it up from the floor and it was Clint Barton. Shit.

Clint Barton: does this mean you guys are gonna be eye fucking more or less? Because if it’s more I’m transferring to another team.

Steve looked over your shoulder and scoffed, grabbing the phone. 

You: This is Steve. Keep the chatter to a minimum. It’s none of your business.

He turned your phone off and kissed you on the cheek. “Get some sleep, we have an 8am strategy meeting.”

You rolled just enough to face him, watching as he got dressed and turning over what he said in your head. “No we don’t, that’s not till 11:00.”

“Sure we do. I just rescheduled it.” He winked and you stared after him for a couple minutes before you had enough energy to change the sheets and shower. You fell asleep pretty quickly after that. 

The next morning there was a new group chat when you turned on your phone, started by Clint Barton with a screen shot of Steve’s message obviously coming from your phone number. Tony was twittering about winning a bet and your agents were all high fiveing and trying to defend your honor in turn. Natasha was scolding Clint for being an asshole and Thor seemed to think it was a great thing for the two of you to be “bedfellows.” Sam left the chat almost as soon as he was added, as Clint recounted with unnecessary detail everything he’s heard. The last message was from Steve, and said, Steve Rogers: Since everyone cares so much about our sex life, I’ve rescheduled the strategy meeting for 8am. Clint, you’ll be running laps for a week if you’re even one minute late.

The chat went silent after that, but something told you Clint just made a new chat that didn’t involve you or Steve.

You opened up you chat from last night, warring over whether or not to delete the messages, and when you couldn’t decide you just sent a new one. 

You: Why am I being punished for Clint being nosy?

Steve: You say that like you haven’t always loved watching night owls like Clint struggle through early meetings.

You: That’s just a consolation prize. 

Steve Rogers: I promise to find some way to make it up to you.

You: You better.

Steve Rogers: ;)

You: Gross Rogers, just use emojis like everyone else.

Steve Rogers: Stop acting like you don’t like it. I can hear your laughing.

You: I’m putting in a transfer.

Steve Rogers: go ahead. Next time I want to listen to you touch yourself to thoughts of me I can just call.

You: Not. Fair.

Steve Rogers: Clean yourself up. I’ll see you in thirty.

You looked at the clock, it was only 6:30am.

You: For what?

Steve Rogers: To make it up to you.