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The Mumbling Man

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Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Good morning. Keep yourself safe from skinwalkers, and teachers working for the system that confiscate your research notes.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We've received a letter this morning. Not in the mailbox we set up outside the club, mind you.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
I stayed up all night playing games at school again. I heard someone knock on the door, and then suddenly it was morning!

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
I feel bad for your sleep schedule.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
There was a tall guy at the door. He mumbled something, handed me the letter, and left.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Katya said the person knocking wasn't a student.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Actually, too old to be one.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Here's what we got.

I DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. THEY'RE COMING. IT SAID SO ON THE TV. THE MEN, THEY COME FROM NOWHERE TO TAKE AWAY OUR KIDS. RUN.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Safe to say he was becoming aware of the government's tactics to spy Americans citizens through their TVs.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
He also gave me an address. I'm texting it to you.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Thank you. I'll just skip classes, and go after lunch. Can't fight Reptilians on an empty stomach.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
Don't skip school.

2 hours later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Lunch was good. The lunch lady said I was too pale, and gave me an extra serving.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Nothing beats Monday's lunch!

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Those chicken fingers should be named a national treasure.

20 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
The man said there was an empty lot we should investigate. I didn't wake up this morning to get kidnapped and brainwashed, so I brought Jaime.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We already have school for that.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
You sure no one at school reads this?

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Be careful, guys.

30 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We're arriving at the address.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We're here. Looks a bit different from pictures.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Did you use Street View?

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
Luna said they were gonna steal her personal data and use it to insert subliminal messages adjusted to her psyche.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
I lent her my phone.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
They can't get to you, Jaime.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We're going in now.

10 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
The place looks like a regular abandoned deposit, dust is still settled on the shelves. If there was any incriminating evidence lying around, it was disposed of a long time ago.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
You think something shady was going on there?

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
I think I heard something.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
Sorry, I kicked an empty can.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
No killer clowns this time. Be on the lookout for big supermarket chains promoting mineral water laced with chemicals. #DownWithMineralGoNatural

20 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We're out. The place was getting too hot.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Oh.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
Not that way.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
Totally not that way.

30 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
We'll be checking mailbox tomorrow. I'm dead tired from biking.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
You should join a sports club.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Oh wait.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Something just in. Come to the clubroom.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
If this is related to clowns again. Retweet so clowns don't visit you tonight.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
Surprise!

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
Happy birthday!

10 minutes later

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
I’d like to make a correction: I’ve just been just informed the “letter man” never existed. While Jaime and me were away chasing after what we thought was a lead, Katya set up decorations in our club and even got me a cake.

Katya Petrikov @CRC_Katy
It has little UFOs on top, and the filling is green.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
I’m more of the idea of gray extraterrestrials, but it’s the thought that counts.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
I’ll come back later to answer your questions. Jaime wants to eat the rest of MY cake.

Jaime Taylor @CRC_Jaime
You said you didn't like the filling.

Luna Gardner @CRC_Luna
The color. I said, the color.