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I Have Written You Down (Now You Will Live Forever)

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I have written you down
Now you will live forever
And all the world will read you
And you will live forever
In eyes not yet created
On tongues that are not born
I have written you down
Now you will live forever

Poet, Bastille 

 

Wanda

 

"Hey." The voice came from behind her, Wanda jumped and turned to face the familiar voice. 

"You're-" Wanda started but stopped speaking, staring at Natasha for a long moment before attempting to speak again. "But you-" She stopped again. "You,"

Natasha laughed sadly, cutting her off. "Died?" She asked, looking down at her hands. They weren't exactly transparent but they didn't seem solid either. Being dead was weird. "Yeah, I did."

Wanda took a few steps toward her so she was close enough to touch her and placed her hands on Natashas arms, her hands didn't go straight through her like she expected but she was cold to the touch. it was like she was holding ice and not her friend and mentor. There was no hint of life in her body. 

"So," Wanda spoke after a few minutes. "You're a ghost or something?"

Natasha shrugged. "Something like that I guess, I'm not really sure. I mean I expected to be trapped in that damn stone but I've just been wondering around for the past few weeks, checked in on Steve, Sam and Bucky, Carol and the guardians." She paused. "Pepper and Morgan."

Wanda gasped, covering her mouth before speaking. "Tony he...he."

"I know," Natasha nodded sadly, leading Wanda over to her bed and sitting down beside her. "It's weird, I didn't see him or see it happen but I felt it in a way. I feel more and know more than I did before, it's hard to explain."

"Maybe it has to do with the stone? I mean what does the soul stone even do?" Wanda looked at her friend. 

Natasha shrugged, standing up. "I need to go now, I need to see a few others and I don't think I have much time left."

Wanda quickly stood up, watching Natasha. "What do you mean you don't have much time left? You're dead."

She looked out the window for a brief moment, the sun was beginning to rise. "I don't know." She turned back to Wanda. "It's just a feeling."

---

Cooper and Lila

 

Natasha stared up at the tree house in the more wooded area of the backyard at the farm, Cooper was six when she and Clint built it. It was weird to think about how many years ago that had been. Long before the snap and her death. 

She climbed up after a few moments, it was empty but the kids had obviously had been spending time there, was clean from dust and any other dirt. There was a blanket and a few pillows, the small table had a blue plastic kids chair and paper and crayons scattered about on the top, there was two books for school with notes sticking out and a few books for simply reading for pleasure, an old SHIELD hoodie that she recognized was hers, and a few pictures. One of her and Cooper and Lila on his 8th birthday, a blurry and hurried picture when she held Lila for the first time shortly after her birth and Lila was deemed her Aunties Girl by both Clint and Laura. Natasha picked up the last picture and looked at it.

It was the last time she was at the farm and the last Christmas she had spent with them. Nate sat in his moms lap, still sticky with maple syrup from the mornings breakfast and was completely oblivious to why everyone else had been laughing at whatever he just said, Clint had an arm around his wife and was slouched back against the couch trying but failing to contain his laughter, Cooper was scrunched between Laura and herself, Lila was on her other side practically in her lap trying to get away from a lunging Lucky whos face was just visible in the corner of the photo.

The picture was a mess but she would always be her favorite. 

She put it back down when she hear the door being opened and two hushed voices and she turned to face the two who would soon be in the tree house. 

Cooper was shutting the door as Lila let out a soft squeak and Cooper turned to where his sister was looking, they both stared at for a long moment before Cooper spoke.

"Aunt Nat?" He asked, at the same moment Lila flung herself at her. 

She nodded, wrapping her arms around Lila who appeared to pay no mind to her freezing body. "Yeah, it's me."

"But how?" Lila asked pulling back from her just as Cooper wrapped his arms around her.  "Dad said you died."

Natasha nodded, only speaking when Cooper pulled back and she was sitting with her legs crossed on the floor. Cooper and Lila both sat in front of her but close enough their knees were touching. "I did," She explained. "And I still am, just a ghost I guess."

"Was it scary?" Cooper asked suddenly. 

Natasha was silent as she gathered her thoughts. "No, it wasn't. I knew what was going to happen and what needed to happen. Things are the way they should be."

Cooper nodded before he spoke again. "Are you stuck her because of how you died? What if you can leave, do you think you'll go to heaven?"

She shrugged. "I don't know why I'm here, maybe the stone." She paused. "Did you know I'm married?" Cooper and Lila both shook their heads so she continued. "In our culture death isn't the end, it's a stepping-off point in a way. You reach out to the Bast and Sekhmet and they lead you into the green veldt where you can run forever." Natasha tried explaining what her husband explained years ago in a way she hoped two kids could understand.

"Is that where you think you'll go?" Lila asked, both Barton kids growing more somber by the minute. 

Natasha didn't answer straight away, she needed to think. "I like to think so." She answered. "I'd like to see my husband again."

She stood up, looking down at the two still on the floor. "I should go. It's getting late."

Cooper frowned but nodded and Lila whipped at her eyes. "Will you come back?" Cooper asked at the same time Lila spoke. "What's his name?"

Natasha sighed and looked up, she didn't want to lie but she didn't want to tell them the truth. "Sometime, probably not for awhile but sometime. And his name is T'Challa, ask your dad about him. He'd like to met you both."

---

Ramonda 

 

Natasha sat cross legged on the edge on Ramondas bed when she walked in and let out a shocked and loud gasp and Natasha stood up.

"Shh, shh," She panicked, getting the Dora in her and seeing her probably wouldn't go over well. "Still dead, or deadish. Not really sure any more."

Ramonda stared at her before stepping closer and taking her face in her hands, she cleared her throat and tears threatened to spill from her eyes. Natasha didn't know her mother or anything about her but Ramonda met her during her early days at SHIELD and she and T'Chaka completely took her in as their own when she and T'Challa started dating. They were both the closest thing she ever got to parents, her mother-in-law told her many times that she wasn't just her sons girl friend and eventual wife but she loved her as if she were her own daughter. 

"I'm sorry." Natasha whispered,barely audible.

Ramonda shook her head, pulling Natasha into a tight hug. "Nonsense, my dear, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for. Because of you billions of lives were restored."

Natasha laughed humorlessly, whipping her own eyes. "I think some people might disagree with the nothing to apologize for part."

Ramonda sighed, bringing her hand up and whipped Natashas tears as her own started to fall. "He's hurting and he misses you more than anything but he understands, he knows why you did it and that you died loving him."

She nodded, taking in a shaky breath. "I don't think I can stop loving him, clearly death didn't stop it."

"And," Ramonda started speaking after taking in her own breath. "He'll love you for the rest of his life and beyond it. You have plenty of people who will."

"Fuck" Natasha laughed. "That just makes me feel like shit."

Ramonda smiled but made no move to swat at her arm or the back of her head as usual when he cussed. "Now go and continue seeing whoever you still need to visit. I've had my time with you and for that I am grateful."

Natasha nodded and took a step back. "I love you."

Ramonda smiled. "And I love you my daughter."

---

Clint

 

She didn't visit him long, he already had enough guilt and she didn't want to add to that. He'd probably blame himself for this too. It was late so she intended for him to be asleep and he was, Laura was sleeping beside him.

It just didn't stay that way, it was as if he sensed her and his eyes shot open and he sat up, staring at her. 

"I'm sorry." She spoke softly, trying not to wake Laura.

"Nat?!" Clint spoke loudly in shock and due to the fact he didn't have his hearing aids in.

Laura shot up and turned on the table lamp beside the bed before staring at her. "Nat?"

Natasha stepped back from the bed, hearing something about calling Strange before she disappeared.

---

 

T'Challa

Clint had already called him so he wasn't not expecting it but he wasn't exactly expecting his dead wife to appear in front of him.

"Nat," He spoke softly and stepped towards her when she appeared.

"Hey," She returned, closing the distance between them and hugging him, she buried her face in his chest taking in his scent and how he felt against her. If this was her last moment she would be okay with that, she got to hear her husbands voice again and hold him. That was a good last moment. 

He didn't even hesitate before wrapping his own arms around his wife, she was cold but she felt and smelled like Nat and that was enough. "I love you." T'Challa whispered because he knew he wasn't going to get to say it again. 

"I love you, too." She whispered before pulling back.

Whatever it was was getting stronger, she'd disappear soon, she felt it. 

So she wrapped her arms around her husbands neck and pulled him down some, kissing him with everything she had. It said everything that they didn't have time to say. 

"Goodbye my love." She heard him whisper after they pulled apart and before she completely faded away, she didn't have time to respond.

---

 

Plus one

"I don't even know if this will work, we don't have the stone." Stephen explained again, keeping his eyes on both Clint and T'Challa before glancing around the area of Vormir.

The three stood in the pool of water he received the stone in, they didn't have the suits on, they stayed in 2023 because Strange wasn't about to let them go back to 2014.

"But if it does she'll be alive?" Clint asked, still trying to clarify. 

Stephen nodded, "Yes, she will be alive."

"And she'll be Nat," T'Challa spoke up. "She'll be our Nat?"

He nodded again. "If this works, yes."

Clint nor T'Challa didn't understand what Stephen did, they weren't really paying attention either. A few moments later there was a loud booming sound and a blindingly bright light. 

The three still stood in the water, staring at each other before there was a sound of water moving and a gasping breath.

"Nat?" Clint and T'Challa spoke and turned to the direction the sound came from at the same time.

"Why the hell am I alive?"