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These Are the Chat Logs...

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CPT.ARCHER has created channel: NX01 ENT Senior Officers.




CPT.ARCHER: This channel is strictly for communication purposes only, please refrain from using it as a social network. I’d hate to have to explain to the Vulcan High Command why my officers are filling official channels with “trivial conversation”.


COM.TUCKER: Cap’n Archer, you wound me. Have ye so little faith in your bridge crew?


SUB.T’PAL: I do believe this is what the Captain was referring to as “trivial conversation”.


COM.TUCKER: Aw, shucks. Did I break the rules already?


T’PAL: Might I remind you that these channels are monitored by Star Fleet Command?


DR.PHLOX: I think having written logs to document interpersonal communications during long term voyages would be rather enlightening.


COM.TUCKER: What he said.


SUB.T’PAL: Your command of language never ceases to amaze, Commander.


COM.TUCKER: Don’t you have a sensor grid to calibrate?


CPT.ARCHER: Trip. Last I checked, you still need had some scratches in the paint job that need to be covered.


COM.TUCKER: Yessir. Right away Cap’n.




LT.REED: Are we not going to ask how the Suliban managed to sneak aboard without notice?


ENS.SATO: No. I was too distracted by how they were turning invisible and crawling around the dark medbay.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: That’s another thing. How’d they know how to turn off the power?


COM.TUCKER: That’s somethin’ I wouldn’t mind knowing either…


CPT.ARCHER: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re missing our Klingon friend, and I’d really prefer to return him without the Vulcan’s help.


ENS.SATO: Sorry Captain. I was talking about my newly gained trauma with @DR.PHLOX, but I’ll get right back to my station.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Wait. Isn’t Phlox doing an autopsy?


ENS.SATO: I’m not paying attention to that, right now. I’m still trying to translate what Klaang said.


ENS.SATO: Phlox is now talking to the corpse...


ENS.SATO: Alright, I’m leaving! Dr.Phlox is moving stuff around in this guy’s chest and the noises are making me queasy.



ENS.MAYWEATHER: So…@LT.REED...How about that alien station on Rigel X…


LT.REED: I’m afraid you’ll need to be more specific…


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Y’know, the bar with all the dancers…


LT.REED: What about it?


ENS.MAYWEATHER: I think one of those lovely ladies you were watching was actually a dude…


LT.REED: I was most certainly not watching any of those dancers.


LT.REED: I was on duty.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Nah, I distinctly remember you watching the dancers while we were waiting for information.


ENS.SATO: It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Malcolm, it happens to everyone. And no one would care if you batted for the other team.


LT.REED: That’s not...! You’re misreading the situation!


ENS.SATO: Are we?




ENS.MAYWEATHER: Really, though?


LT.REED: Unnecessarily so! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to recalibrate the torpedoes.


LT.REED has logged off.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Recalibrate the torpedoes he says. ;^)


ENS.SATO: Mhmmmmm. ;^)


DR.PHLOX: Is sexuality still a sensitive topic on Earth?


ENS.SATO: Not as much as it used to be, but some people can be more...reserved about it.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Especially when one Lieutenant Reed has a stick shoved up their ***.


DR.PHLOX: Fascinating! I must ask Dr. Lucas about this in more detail when I message him next!


DR.PHLOX has logged off.        


COM.TUCKER is online.


COM.TUCKER: What in tarnation! I leave for FIVE minutes, and now Malcolm is questioning his sexuality. Why can’t y’all get along?


SUB.T’PAL: Your assessment of the situation is incorrect. It was Ensigns Sato and Mayweather who were inquiring as to Lieutenant Reed’s sexuality, to which there was no determinate response.






CPT.ARCHER is online.


CPT.ARCHER: Well. I think I’ve had more than enough Klingons today.


COM.TUCKER: Seconded, Cap’n.


SUB.T’PAL: With your species’ inclination to interfering with others’ affairs, I find myself in agreement.


ENS.SATO: I can’t wait to study their language in more depth. There are so many dialects, it could take me months before I can talk to them properly!


CPT.ARCHER: I think you’ll get your chance to practice with natives more than your fair share if we keep encountering them like this.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: If our mission goes as planned, you’ll have more than just Klingon to learn.


CPT.ARCHER: Then I suppose you should look up from your console and make sure we don’t crash into anything.


ENS.MAYWEATHER: Yes sir! Sorry, sir!


COM.TUCKER: Amateurs.


SUB.T’PAL: Commander, I’m picking up an antimatter build up in the port nacelle.




COM.TUCKER has logged off.


LT.REED: I’m not picking up any antimatter buildups.


SUB.T’PAL: I believe, as Commander Tucker would say, “Amateurs”.





CPT.ARCHER: Maybe there’s hope for you yet.