It had been exactly one year since he died. One year since I’ve been inside every day. I had felt nothing but pain and sadness since the day he died. Little did I know my life was going to change that day, the day I got to see him again. Let me get started from that very day from the time I had woken up.
It was 9 am when I had first opened my eyes. I was feeling shittier than ever. A year ago today was the day I lost him. I sat up in bed and smelled that my mom had made breakfast. She has made the same breakfast every day for the past year because she knows it’s my favorite. She does it to try to cheer me up but nothing will help.
“Richie sweetheart, breakfast is ready.”
“Can you just bring it up and leave it on the table today, I’m not feeling the best to go downstairs today.”
“Okay, I’ll go do that honey,” she said as she closed the door and sighed
I went to the calendar and saw the date. I should go to visit his grave. I think Eddie would be happy to see me get out for once. He’s honestly probably so worried about me. I started to get dressed and was ready by the time my mom came to the door with my breakfast.
“Richie I hope you li-” she stopped mid-sentence and just stared at me. “Sweetheart, are you going outside?!” she was so delighted to see me in an outfit with my shoes on.
“Yeah mom, is that okay with you?”
“Of course it is, you can be out for as late as you want to be, just stay safe”
“Thanks, mom, I’ll be back by 5”
She gave me my breakfast and I ate it quickly and waved to her goodbye. I walked out of the door and was blinded by the sun. It hurt so bad because I hadn’t been outside in a while. The air was crisp and the leaves were all colors. It was late September which means the weather is just right. I love this time of year but also hate it. I walked down the road for a while and stopped in front of his house. When I saw it I started to cry but I sucked all my emotions back in and walked up to the front door and knocked.
“Hi Mrs. K” she looked at me for a minute and started to cry and invited me in. I sat on the couch and she had sat on her chair and stared at me. “I know you must hate me, Mrs. K”
“Actually, I don’t Richie. Well, I did at first but I had time to think this past year and realized it wasn't your fault. Tell me,” she started to tear up again “Was my Eddie a savior?”
I looked down at my hands and started sobbing remembering what he did to save us all. “He sure was, he saved everybody in the town for generations to come.” My voice was really shaky while telling her everything Eddie had done for us. It was about 1 when I left and she opened the door for me and gave me a hug and told me to visit anytime I wanted to talk about Eddie.
I started to walk down the street again and was getting closer to the graveyard. I stopped at the drug store quickly and bought a bouquet of flowers and an inhaler. I had finally made it after a couple of minutes. The graveyard he was in was the largest in town and it was beautifully built. It had a man-made lake with ducks and swans that would fly in and swim in the water for a while. I had forgotten to ask Mrs. Kaspbrak where Eddie's grave was, so this is going to take me a while. I walked along every road in the cemetery looking for Kaspbrak. It wasn’t until an hour later I had found it.
September 3rd, 1976 - September 24th, 1989
I had gotten on my knees and put down the flowers and inhaler I had gotten. I smiled while looking at the inhaler. “I miss my wheezy boy so much” I looked his name on the tombstone and said “Hey Eds, there is something I really wanted to tell you before you… well before you left. I love you, Eddie, I love you so much. I know you’re probably thinking I mean just as a friend but I realized something one day,” I had started to cry while talking “I’m gay Eds, I realized that day we were alone together playing Street Fighter and how you were so cute when you laughed and just how handsome you were, I loved you so much Edward Kaspbrak”
I sat there for a minute crying onto the flowers I had put down for him, but I had stopped completely when I felt an arm on my shoulder and turned around and saw a boy that looked just like Eddie but slightly older. Fear filled my body and I ran as fast as I could but he had chased after me screaming,
“Wait, Richie, please wait!”
After I heard my name I had stopped and turned around and stared at him.
“How did you know my name?”
“Richie it’s me, Eddie”