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Fuck, I'm Lonely

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There was a hobby that Jae had, which was kept hidden from everybody he knew.

It was camming. He was a camboy.

And it’s not like he was embarrassed about it, or felt like it’d be the end of the world. Okay, well, part of him did. But the other part of him didn't want to tell any of his friends because he’s scared they’d leave him.

He’s scared they’d find him disgusting, whore like, for doing porn for money. There’s so many other ways he could make money, but he enjoys camming. He gets to feel sexy and orgasm, all while getting paid to. It was a triple win for Jae.

Sometimes, he felt guilty for keeping this secret from everyone. He’d often cancel weekend or night plans because of his hobby slash part time job. His friends would get pissed off at him for always canceling, but he always came up with good enough reasons not to show up.

Like, tonight for example.

His friends wanted to go to a frat party. He wasn't sure why because they all absolutely despised the frat boys, but apparently the parties were quote on quote “ hella lit ” from his friend Matthew, so he just shrugged and let his friends have fun.

He told them he had to study for an upcoming test. Which, was true. He did have to study, but that doesn't mean he’s doing it the whole time his friends are gone.

Tonight, he wanted to go live and show his viewers what he bought, and maybe test it out with them.

Jae had just bought himself a few new toys with the money he’s earned. A pink, bullet vibe, a cock-ring (a suggestion from his viewers since he, well, often came prematurely because he always felt so good), and finally, a new dildo. Nothing fancy, just something a little bigger to treat himself. And of course, he got more lube, but that wasn't as exciting as the other things he purchased.

The buzz of knowing he’s going to be camming tonight gives him so much adrenaline, he’s basically jittering in his seat waiting for the last bell to go off.

He was lucky his last class was late afternoon, meaning he could relax and stretch himself out for his show tonight.

The bell finally rang it’s ring, and he rushed out of the classroom. His friend, Sammy, had noticed, and laughed at him.

“Whoa there, Jae! You excited to study tonight?” He laughed, making Jae stop and blush a bit.

“Um,” He mumbled. “Yeah! Yeah, I am. It’s a big test, and I wanna be able to pass it.” He shrugged, hoping Sam believed him.

Luckily, he did, but there was a skeptical look on Sam’s face. “You’re such a nerd, Jae. You’re always canceling plans to go study. You should come party with us tonight!”

Jae shook his head, which made Sam frown. “Man, you’re so secretive sometimes. I swear you’re like, hooking up with a chick, or multiple, I don’t know, the times we go party. You know it’s okay, right? We all–”

“I’m not hooking up with anybody!” He yelled, embarrassed and wanting Sam to just stop talking. His outburst caused a few weird stares, and he held onto his bookbag straps and blushed darker.

Sam gave him a look. “Well, maybe you need to hook up with someone, get laid. You’re tense. You’re not so tense after the weekend. What, are you doing porn or something instead?” He jokes, wiggling his eyebrows.

Jae panicked. “What, no! Why would you think that?” Sammy just laughed more at his panicked expression.

“Dude, chill! I was just playing. Even if you did, I wouldn't care. You’re cute and sexy at the same time, girls, and guys would dig that.” Said Sam with a wink.

The older rolled his eyes. “Shut up. I don’t do porn. I’m going home to study.” Jae grumbled, walking away with a pout on his face and his heart beating out of his chest.

He heard Sam snort behind him, and then the said man yelled, “Okay! Have fun studying, you big nerd!”

“Fuck you!” He yelled back.

“When and where, baby?” Sam yelled back, jokingly. He walked faster as people began to stare.

Jae just shook his head and sighed to himself as he walked back to his dorm. He wanted to get home already and try out his new toys with his viewers.

The walk to his dorm was shorter than he expected, or maybe he was just in his mind too much, he wasn't sure. He was glad he did get home when he did, so he could quickly finish his homework, and then try out his new toys.

The tall man was so excited to try the bullet vibe and cockring, to deny himself of an orgasm as he’s overwhelmed until his viewers decide if he was good enough to cum.

Though he was caught up on his work, he found himself stumped on his essay, too destracted by the thoughts of how good he’s gonna feel when camming and trying out his newly bought toys.

“It can wait,” He muttered to himself. He closed his book and school laptop, and placed them back into his bookbag. He stretched his arms arching high, making his sweater lift a bit off of his tummy.

He glanced at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were slightly flushed in knowing what he's going to do soon. Shaking his head, Jae stripped as he walked into the bathroom.

Luxury of having a dorm to yourself, is you can get naked and leave your clothes all over the place without anyone walking in or complaining.

He walked into the bathroom, washed his face, and then showered; the vanilla body wash soft against his skin. After he finished, his hair smelled of strawberries and skin of vanilla, and it made him feel soft and handsome.

After his shower, he picked up the clothes he’d previously slipped off and threw them into his dirty clothes hamper.

Even though he had the luxury of stripping whenever he wanted and leaving his clothes all over the place, didn't mean Jae wanted to keep his place messy.

He decided to clean up his room a tad while he was at it, since it was a little messy. He made his bed after cleaning the space before grabbing the lube from his bag of new purchases. He then laid onto the bed, and took a deep breath to help himself relax.

The tall man started by rubbing up and down his body feather light touches, making his breath hitch and back arch. He’s so sensitive, he couldn't imagine someone else doing this to him.

His rands ran up his tummy to his chest, and he pinched his nipples. He also had sensitive nipples. This action made him whimper and arch with want. Maybe he should invest in nipple clamps.

Jae’s cock began to swell, throbbing each time he pinched and twisted his own nipples. He decided he to just stroke himself to full hardness, before he reached for his cock ring and slid it onto himself.

He whined, before putting a pair of soft, grey Nike shorts on. He hissed when the soft, but rough, fabric ran against his hardness, but continued to slide the article of clothing up his thighs and over his hips.

When he felt like he was ready, he set up his camera and laptop, making sure everything looked fine before clicking the ‘ go live ’ button. He waved before giving the viewers a few moments to show up.

“Hi!” He giggled softly, feeling giddy and nervous. He always felt like this when going live, but he trived off the feeling. He started to read the comments, seeing as many people noticed his hardness.

“Do you notice that I’m hard?” He teased himself and the viewers by stoking himself against his shorts, which made his hips buck and a whine escape from his throat. His large hand fit over the bulge.

“I got new toys today, so I stretched myself beforehand.” He explained. He began to slide his shorts off, and his cock bobbled between his legs. He noticed his comments went crazy at the sight of the cockring.

Jae smiled. “One of the toys I got was a cockring! I can only cum when you guys decide I was good enough to. Don’t be too mean.” He pouted.

He then pulled out his new dildo in front of the camera, and showed it off. “Do you guys like it?” He asked. The dildo was about ten inches, and thick in girth. It was a little bigger than Jae was used to, but couldn't he spoil himself?

“I wanted to spoil myself, and by the comments, you guys like it! Should I start now?” He gave a sly smile to the camera, and his viewers begged him to start.

Jae chuckled to himself, “Okay, okay! I’m gonna start. I also got new lube, but that’s not as nice as my new toys.” He explained as he lubed up the dildo with the slick lube. It made an obscene noise, and the flush on his cheeks grew darker.

He spread his legs so the audience could see him better, and then began to slowly insert the dildo inside of himself as his other hand gripped the sheets.

He inhaled and whined, shutting his eyes as he did so. It hurt a little. A good hurt, though, the one he thrived off of. He began to push it in deeper and deeper, making cute little whining noises as he did so.

Soon, he hit his prostate, which made him cry aloud. “ Fuck. ” He whined. The dildo was now all the way inside him, and anytime he moved he felt it push another part of his sensitive walls.

“I feel so full.” Jae told his viewers, his voice whiny and cheeks now a dark red. “Should I play with myself? Or cockwarm it?” He asked, and began to read some of the comments.

user121: you’re so beautiful

kinky4657: ofc you can play with yourself, baby. have some fun

“Don’t call me beautiful,” He whined. “It makes me blush.” Jae pouted. So what he had a praise kink, doesn’t mean everyone has to praise him.

However, one comment caught his eye, it somehow looked familiar.

bkang: i bet you cockwarm nice, love, but i want you to fuck yourself with your new toy. and you’re so handsome, why can’t we tell you that? ;(

Jae blushed. He felt like he knew who this was, but it was on the tip of his tongue. His words were so dirty , Jae wanted him to physically be here to whisper them into his ear.

“I’m gonna fuck myself with my new toy,” Jae said, beginning to do as he said. “But, I still have another new toy I wanna show you guys.” He pouted, but the pout turned into a gasp when Jae hit his prostate again.

“Fuck,” He whined. He couldn't reach inside of himself like he wished. “I wish someone was h-here to do this for me, to go deep, a-and fast.” He stuttered over his words as he fucked himself. He noticed the same person from earlier comment again.

bkang: oh, baby boy. you look so cute trying so hard to fuck yourself with your new toy :( i wish i was there to help you, hear your cute little whimpers in person. go a little bit harder for me? i know you can do it. be a good boy.

Jae sobbed at this person’s words, though he loved camming, he more often than not wished someone was here to do those things to him. He wanted to be someone’s good boy.

He began to stroke his cock to the pace he was fucking himself, but a lot of the comments told him to quit touching himself. He waited for that person to tell him what to do.

bkang: fuck, baby. you’re so good for me, for your viewers. you’re doing everything i ask you, like a good boy. you’re so cute when you sob out of pleasure, all fucked out :( i wish i could kiss your tears away, and stroke that cute cock myself. play and tease with your head, baby.

There he was. Jae could barely read the comment due to the tears clouding his vision, but fuck if it didn't make his cock swell up. He began to play with his head, his hips bucking as he toyed with his slit. He still felt like he knew who this was, the ‘kang’ in the name looking so familiar.

Who did he know that had the last name of Kang?

He wasn't sure. His mind was too far gone with pleasure, he was so close to the edge, but his cockring was preventing him from cumming.

“I’m so close,” Jae sobbed, squeezing his eyes shut as he stroked his cock. He stopped fucking himself, only pushing it deeper at times to press against his sweet spot. “I wanted–wanted to show you guys my other new toy, but I wanna cum.” He whined.

He stared into the camera, knowing now dirty, messy, and fucked out he looked. His eyes were hazy, his hair sticking to his forehead due to sweat. His cheeks were wet and red with tears, the blush down to his chest now.

“Can I please cum? Please?” He begged his viewers. He held onto his cock, thinking it’d hold off his orgasm even though he was wearing a cockring. The comments began to flood in.

bigdaddy383: go ahead, baby

kinky4657: i think you could hold off longer.

asdfghjkl: cum for us beautiful:(

kwpsj: you can come baby

He waited for the one person to comment.

bkang: you can cum, beautiful.

All the viewer had said was that he could cum ( and that he was beautiful, but he lied to himself about how it didn’t affect him) , and that’s all the permission Jae needed. He took off his cockring, and stroked himself fast, fucking himself with his other hand. His hips rocked as he did so, his whines and cries growing louder and louder until his orgasm crashed over him.

He gasped, and let go of himself, both hands holding onto this sheets. His dick pulsated as he came, white stripes coating his bedsheets, and some even getting onto his tummy. He shook and sobbed as he climaxed, all his energy spurting up until he was done.

Jae slumped down and breathed loudly, sweaty and sticky. Fuck. He was so tired and worn out, that orgasm took a lot out of him. He also felt himself on the edge of subspace, which slightly scared him because he had no one to bring him down.

He slowly began to calm down, absentmindedly reading the comments. Most of them were praise, some wanted him to go again. A lot of people left, because all they came to see was Jae orgasm and that was it, they didn't stay to watch him clean himself up.

He was so far gone and tired he didn't realize he still had the dildo inside of him until bkang commented again. He swear he knew who that was.

bkang: oh my god ;( baby boy. you did so well for us, so well for me. you looked so beautiful and fucked out when you came, you made me cum as well. you’re so beautiful. i know it took a lot out of you, but clean up, okay? tell us goodbye and end the broadcast and clean yourself up. treat yourself to a nice bath.

He listened to everything this person said, except for treating himself to a nice bath. He ended the broadcast with shaky hands and a small goodbye, before lazily cleaning himself up with a rag. He put the lube and toys onto his nightstand before grabbing a random pair of boxers and sliding them up his legs.

Jae then put on a pair of sweatpants, a sweater, and changed his sheets before slumping onto the bed. He was still slightly fuzzy and in subspace, and fuck did he just want to be taken care of.

He tried to think of who bkang could be. Kang. Kang. His mind was so fuzzy, he couldn't think straight. Not that he thought straight most of the time anyway , if you know what I mean.

He held onto his pillow and cried, sniffling and his chest aching with sadness. He was experiencing a sub drop. Then, in the middle of thinking and sobbing, he know who bkang was.

Brian Kang.

Brian was a mutual friend of Sammy and Matthew, and was in his English class. He wouldn't lie and say he didn't find him attractive, but he didn't know how far his attraction went until now. He never would have thought the Brian Kang was into guys, nonetheless watch him cam.

And fuck, he thought. I wish Brian was here . His words were so dirty yet dominant, and all he wanted was Brian to be here to take him down from subspace and give him the bath he wished Jae would have treated himself to.

Maybe, Brian could even cam with him, help him climax and drift into subspace, then bring him back. And instead of feeling sad and lonely after his stream, he’d feel happy and wanted.

Maybe his mind was just clouded with want and delusions, and that none of that would ever happen. Jae felt his eyes begin to droop, and with the thoughts and wants of Brian on his mind, he drifted to sleep.