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fugo found out that his cowboy friend johnny hadn’t ever seen shrek 2 and naturally that had to change
he invited him over to his house and soon johnny was outside his door… on a horse.
“why the fuck did you bring a horse?”
“i cant fucking walk you idiot”
fugo judgingly glared at the poor horse and then back up at johnny
“that bastard isnt putting a single hoof inside my house”
johnny was momentarily offended but then accepted that his horse wasnt a valid houseguest
“ok whatever just carry me inside, its fine”
fugo hesitated
“idk dude, that sounds p gay”
“bro i literally cant walk wtf”
“ah fuck, right, good point,”
fugo helped johnny off the horse and carried him inside. he put him down on the living room couch.
“do u want popcorn?” fugo asked
“wtf is popcorn?” johnny’s yeehaw accent was super thicc “are you fucking serious what the fuck”
johnny looked very confused
“yeah, i am”
“you haven’t seen shrek 2 and you dont know what popcorn is, what the fuck is wrong with you” fugo was getting rly angry
“is there a problem with that?”
“is there a probl— there is! it’s basic human knowledge, holy fuck you’re so stupid”
“okay but what’s popcorn”
“popped corn. fucking self explanatory.”
“oh yea i call that cornflakes”
“YOU FUCKING WHAT”
after a lot of yelling they finally got around to watching shrek 2. fugo never made any popcorn because he was too angry to bother
just a bit into the movie, johnny suddenly announced that he was horny
“didnt need to know that but great. i know shrek is hot but like chill”
“no bro that isnt why im horny,,,, you were kinda really hot when u yelled at me,,”
“wtf dude”
“we should fuck,,”
“seriously we’re in the middle of a movie”
“we dont gotta watch, we can pause”
“i refuse”
“can’t you just multitask?” johnny pleaded rly homoly
“yea but im already doing that” fugo said “watching shrek 2 and betraying all my friends at the same time is hard work.”
“wtf does that even mean”
“just watch the movie”
“but i wanna fuck”
“later ok i just want to finish the fucking movie”
some time passed and johnny was still hella horny and decided to cling to fugo’s arm
“the movie is over soon right, you dont gotta watch the end, lets just—”
“chill out bro, im not missing the i need a hero scene for your thirsty ass”
the bigass gingerbread man was dying and fugo teared up
“thats so sad bro” johnny said “still horny tho”
fugo hit him with the tv remote
“dont you dare taint mongo’s legacy with your disgusting bullshit”
johnny blushed
“hit me again daddy”
“holy fuck”
fugo pressed the pause button and the movie froze
“call me daddy again”
“only if ull fuck me”
“god fuck i will”
fugo pinned johnny down on the couch and johnny was like omg daddy
fugo removed johnny’s pants and noticed that he had a god tier ass
“damn bro you’re dummy thicc”
fugo fingered johnny and johnny was like [gay noises] and then fugo whipped out his dick
“give me ur dick daddy” johnny was rly gay
fugo entered him and johnny uwu moaned
“u ok?”
“yes daddy pls fuck me”
fugo fucked him and johnny was super mega loud
“dont be so loud holy fuck”
“but daddy ur so good”
fugo instantly nutted and got embarrassed cause he lasted like a solid 30 seconds. johnny didn’t care at all cause he was still horny
“jack me off daddy”
now when fugo wasnt horny af being called daddy was rly gross
“stop calling me daddy, christ”
“but—“
“shut up”
fugo rubbed johnny’s peen anyway and soon johnny also nutted
“u gonna let me watch shrek now?”
fugo got no response cause johnny had fallen asleep right away like the ungrateful bastard that he is
fugo happily resumed watching shrek 2 without the horny bastard pestering him.
soon, the movie was over. as the credits rolled, he thought to himself, ‘why cant i find me a man that isn’t a rabid horny dog’
the end