Chapter 1: Dog Food
His alarm must not have gone off because when he woke, he failed to hear the birds chirping. The bed was empty when he checked too, and he pouted.
Brian’s hand went to his alarm and upon pressing the large button set in the middle of the machine, the robotic voice announced, ‘It is one thirty-two PM ’
He rolled his eyes and groaned with his head hitting the pillow again.
“Roger!” He yelled. “Why didn’t you wake me up?!”
He heard a scuffling and Roger murmuring. “Because you looked tired and I'm a very considerate boyfriend?”
Brian rolled his eyes again and climbed out of bed. His dog was nowhere to be felt and he called for him without a response.
“Where’s Pac-Man?” Brian asked the surrounding area.
“Outside, probably taking a shit, do you need me to get him?”
He thought about it for only a moment before shaking his head with a sound of disagreement. He could get around the house fine, he just needed to know where he was. "No, no, let him take a shit."
Brian concentrated on the floor as he shuffled and followed the neon duct tape attached to their carpet, directing him to the kitchen where he smiled upon seeing a figure going about the room.
“Are you making breakfast?”
“I did say I was a very good boyfriend, didn’t I?” Roger grinned and rolled in for a kiss that Brian made a small noise of pleasure into upon sealing the deal.
“Maybe I can forgive you for disarming my alarm clock this time.”
“You say it like it’s a bloody bomb. Nerd,” The blonde pat his lover on the rear and pinched him for good measure. “Pac’s not eaten yet. Remember I’m making you breakfast before you get pissed about that.”
“And what have you been doing all day that made you overlook feeding him?"
“I made a few phone calls.”
Brian squinted and furrowed his brow. “To?”
“Hospital. Getting things ready and just making sure everything is set up for the big day.”
Oh. Right. That wasn’t exactly the first thing on Brian's mind when he woke up but now it was, and the stress returned with it.
“Baby,” Roger cooed, winding his arms around Brian’s neck the best he could given how much taller he was. “I know you’re nervous-“
“I’m not nervous.”
“Okay, so you’re a bit on edge. It’s okay, I would be too. It’s a big surgery.”
He rolled his shoulders but Roger persisted. “Can you just let Pac-Man in?”
“What’s the magic word?”
“Ugh, okay, jeez. Someone’s not a morning person.”
Roger went to the back door and Brian leaned against the kitchen counter with a hand driving through his hair. He was stressed, high strung to the point of snapping like a rubber band, but he had his reasons.
He had been diagnosed with cataracts in both eyes as a boy when his parents thought he needed glasses. The ripe old age of four and he was already losing one of his most important senses, he was a very happy child.
Turns out, it was a little too late to do anything because of their ignorance. Not long after he’d been diagnosed he almost entirely lost sight, now only being able to see colourless blurs like he had his eyes open in milk. If anything was more than two feet in front of him it was a lost cause, non-existent to his world.
Though that wasn’t his cause of anxiety, he had been blind practically all of his life and it no longer bothered him. In fact, it hadn’t even occurred to him that it could be something to be upset about until he met Roger. His cause of concern was when he’d received a call from his Ophthalmologist that he could qualify for an operation that could return his vision to near perfection. The worst part was that he might have to wear glasses.
Brian was overjoyed when he heard the news and Roger nearly passed out. He should be celebrating now but as the day reached nearer, the concern overtook him and he felt suffocated by worry.
It was on Rogers mind almost constantly and Brian just wanted to forget about it for a moment. Not talk about it every ten seconds. Just be normal like they used to, even if Brian was blind as a bat and used neon tape and a guide dog just to get about the house.
When he heard the scraping of his dog, an enormous German Shepherd, rushing into the house with his paws chattering against the cement back porch before leaping through the door, he beamed and opened his arms for Pac-Man to let him know he was free for a hug.
He bounced into Brian’s arms and he laughed into his fur when he felt the dogs long tongue swiping across his face, though he knew it was probably just because he was hungry and not because he was beyond moved to see his owner.
“You hungry? Did Roger forget to feed you?” He requested in a baby-voice while spreading his hands through the dog's puffy cheeks.
“Hey! I did not forget! I gave him some- actually nevermind,” Roger raised his brows and whistled, thankful he didn’t accidentally say he’d given Brian’s dog human food.
“I’m blind, not stupid. You think I can’t smell his breath when he eats bacon?”
“Okay, Professor X. Won’t do it again.”
Brian pursed his lips, unamused. “You always say that but yet I always hear you asking if he wants bacon. Nerd.”
“He’s a dog, Brian! He likes bacon, I can’t help it.” Pac-Man went to the cabinet and began to paw at the stained wood that squeaked back and forth when his large pads beat the front. Brian nodded over and over and went to the cabinet only to find it lacking the bag of dog food he was looking for.
“Goddamnit, Roger. Did you move his food, again ?”
“I like giving you a challenge,” Roger responded with a smile before physically turning his boyfriend around and presenting another cabinet where he could just see the large shape of the bag through the open doors.
“Very funny, Rog. You suck.”
“It’s what I do best!” He teased with his hands going through Brian’s hair.
Brian shuffled himself on his rear over to the dog bowl, tagged with the same tape as the rest of the house, with the large bag of kibble resting on his lap that the dog followed while trying to push his nose inside.
“Ah, ah!” Brian rejected. Pac-Man backed down but grumbled and huffed in compliant to let Brian know he certainly didn’t want to do what he just did. He finally gave in and dumbed a cup-full of food into the bowl, the metal tinking over and over with each dry cube of food falling in, and he smirked to himself when the smacking and crunching started.
Roger continued cooking and when he turned off the stove, he turned around and patted his spatula against the oven."Bri, breakfast is ready. Get us some plates."
Brian stood up with an accompanying groan and stretched. His shirt curled over his hips and the uncovered skin had a cold rush go past it, followed by warm fingers stroking over the warm flesh. Roger pulled at his underwear and licked some cooked yolk from his thumb with a smack of his lips.
"Maybe we could forget about breakfast right now. Go into the bedroom. Have some fun." His voice was dense and low, obviously already having made his decision. Brian reached down and felt a tightness in his boyfriend's pyjama pants.
"Mm," Brian hummed. "Maybe."
"Definitely. Unless you moved that too."
"Don't be such a rotter," Roger laughed. "Come on, I'll alleviate some of that tension." He wrapped his arms around Brian's waist and got up to the tips of his toes to kiss at his lover's neck.
Brian was lead to the bedroom by Roger's hand and when his knees met the edge of the bed, he crawled in on his hands and knees and fell onto his side where he got on his back. His legs spread and he reached to touch either side of the bed.
"You expect me to do everything, huh?" Roger inquired teasingly. Brian nodded with his teeth going into his bottom lip. "You're so lazy." His words had no venom behind them so Brian laughed and nodded once more with his eyes fluttering closed.
Roger sat on top of his lap and unzipped Brian's jeans, recieving a satisfied hum in return for his hard work. Once his trousers were off, his shirt was removed just as soon. The blonde took Brian's hand and put it against his chest, allowing him to feel he was also missing his clothes.
"Did you close the door?" Brian asked quietly with his lips rubbing against one another. His head was tilted back into the pillow and he smiled when Roger ran his index finger over his thin chest.
"Why? Expecting company?"
"I don't want Pax seeing us."
Roger barked a laugh and shook his head before patting his chest. "You realize he's not gonna mind right?"
"Actually," Brian started with a matter-of-fact tone. "Remember when he tried to attack you because he thought I was having a seizure?"
"It isn't my fault that Pac-Man can't tell the difference between the best orgasm of your life and a seizure."
"Best org- Humble much?"
Roger grinned and nodded despite knowing it was too dark for Brian to even sort of see him. "Shut up. I closed the door, I knew you'd ask. Besides, did you ever think Pac likes watching us? What kind of dog owner are you to deny his urges?"
"Pax gets off on the neighbours garden gnomes, I don't think he wants to see us fucking. No offence, I'm sure it looks delightful."
"Well, there's a mirror next to the bed and in my humble opinion," Roger said flirtatiously. "It looks pretty good."
"Okay, okay. Enough of the small talk. Fuck me already."
Roger didn't need to be asked twice so he took hold of Brian's shoulders and encouraged him to his stomach where he smiled into the pillows.
It was only ten minutes after they'd started that they'd finished- well, Brian finished and Roger said he didn't mind that he didn't because he just needed Brian to feel good. Now they lay together in bed, holding sweaty hands, and panting with smiles on their faces.
The moment paused and Brian rolled to his side with his eyes going where he thought Roger's own could be but instead landed on his forehead. He didn't mention it.
"What if the operation goes poorly and my sight gets worse?"
"It's a half an hour surgery, Bri. I don't think they can fuck up too badly in that amount of time."
"What if they leave the laser on and they burn through my iris? Like that movie you told me about."
"Final Destination? I regret telling you about that. If I knew you'd get eye surgery one day I wouldn't have. Anyways, I promise that won't happen. Death isn't coming to collect your nuts on a plate."
"What if I feel it all? They don't put you to sleep during surgery."
"Brian, you know they give you an IV. You've asked me all this before, why are you asking again?" Roger turned to his side and frowned with his hand going to the side of Brian's face.
"I'm just worried. I'm sorry."
Roger sighed and stroked his lover's cheek. "Listen, it'll be okay. You won't even remember it and you'll be too loopy to know. I'll be sure to get lots of video of the weird shit you say."
Brian nodded but Roger could tell he didn’t agree. His hands shook a little more than moments before and he sniffled just a bit, but it was enough.
“Do you trust me?” Roger whispered.
“Then trust me when I tell you it’ll be okay.”
Brian’s voice was thick and clouded with oncoming tears but Roger quickly swept them away with a smile. He took both of Brian's hands and pressed them against his face so he could tell he was doing so, and in return, he smiled back.
“You’re such a sap,” The brunette mumbled. “Go get breakfast from the kitchen, before it gets cold.”
“Alright, alright. If you get crumbs in the bed, I’m not making it again.”
Roger sat out of bed and went to the door, though Brian took special notice that he didn’t open it.
“I fucking knew you didn’t shut the door, you prick.”
Roger gasped and stopped in his place. “Do you hear that? Listen, Bri, listen...It’s… Pac-Man beating off to us having sex.”
Brian groaned and slapped his hands over his face. “You are on thin ice, Roger.”
“Ooh, did you hear that, Pax? Thin ice!” Roger hissed the s’s and 'c' then wolf-whistled. “He’s getting the lotion as we speak, Bri, you better cover up!”
“I’m getting rid of both you and Pax.”
Roger laughed and patted the door. “Sure, sure. Then you can wonder which cabinet the dog food is in by yourself, right?”
Brian held up two middle fingers and smiled with a nod, sitting up. “I saw these at the grocery and got you a pair.”
“I don’t think you saw anything at the grocery-” Roger then bolted out of the room before Brian could react, laughing all the way.
Chapter 2: German Folk Metal
Brian and Roger discuss things the day of his surgery.
I actually made this as ch3 but i decided i didnt like the original chapter 2 as much as this one and its my writing so i can do whatever i want lmao
anways enjoy uwu
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It was hard to shave when you were blind.
It got easier as you went, but sometimes you missed spots and Brian was lucky to have a boyfriend who wouldn’t let him step out of the house with half a beard.
“Little to the bottom,” Roger spoke with a voice that stretched as he lifted his head and lowered his jaw in focus.
“I just did the bottom, are you sure?” Brian asked, clutching a blue razor with water trickling down his arm and into his sleeve.
“Absolutely sure. Unless you want a goatee.”
“Oh god, I don’t want that.”
“No one wants that.”
They both bowed in agreement. No one wanted a goatee.
Brian dried his hands and sat back from the sink with his head turning from left to right to give his boyfriend a view of his handy work. There was a hum and before he knew it, his shoulders were being pushed down and he was sitting on the toilet lid with Roger moving his face back and forth.
Brian pouted, and with a beaten; “I didn’t get it all?” Roger pouted too.
“That’s okay. You’ll be doing this by yourself in just a few days.”
But he didn’t want to be doing it by himself. He wanted to do it perfectly the first time instead of having someone watching over him so he doesn't miss spots. Roger was marvellous, and never judged him for such a thing, but he just wanted to do things Roger could without waiting for him to stop being busy.
Going for a walk by himself, even with Pac-Man, was unsafe, so Roger was there.
Shaving was unsafe, so Roger was there.
Cleaning was unsafe, so Roger was there.
But Roger could do all of that and more. He could reorganize furniture without fearing tripping over a table and cracking his skull open, he could shave by himself without needing anyone to check, and he could go on walks without anyone around. Even at night.
“I know you’re tired of this, babe,” Roger sighed while he lathered shaving cream on the spots Brian had missed. “Just think about how good it’ll be when you can look at that mirror and do this yourself. Even when I’m asleep.”
Brian smiled and closed his eyes peacefully at the thought. “What do I look like with a beard?”
“It makes your face look thinner. It’s the same colour as your hair, remember I told you it’s brown?”
“And the colour brown is like the feeling of tree bark.”
Roger pat Brian on the cheek just above the shaving cream smearing and smiled radiantly. “I know you know this, but you’re really handsome. You must be getting tired of hearing that but you should know; so your dick doesn’t explode when you look in a mirror.”
Brian’s eyes widened. “Well, you know what’s funny? No one ever tells blind people if they’re ungodly hideous. That would be an unfortunate conversation.”
The blonde laughed and rolled his eyes. “Well, it isn’t the case. I’ve seen ugly blind people,” Oh god. Did he just say that? “Actually, ignore what I just said. I’m going to hell.”
“To hell you go, Mister Sinner,” Brian waved his hand to the floor and smiled. He could hear and feel Roger begin to kneel down but then change his mind, then, finally, sit back up with a giggle.
“I just kneeled to make a joke about going to hell but… I haven’t swept.”
Brian grinned and giggled. “I know you did, I heard your knees hit the floor.”
Once his face was properly shaved, Roger pat his face again and squeezed his cheeks which made him wince. He always loved to do that whenever he could, especially when Brian thought he was asleep. It always surprised him and if Roger was lucky, he would get a scream.
Roger was definitely going to hell for fucking with his blind boyfriend for fun. Didn't mean he was going to stop, especially on a day like this when his window of opportunity to be the biggest dick ever to his visually impaired lover was closing.
“Big day today, huh?” Roger asked quietly. “I know you don’t want to say you're nervous, but-“
“Oh. Okay well. Ignore what I just said then.”
He puffed air out of his cheeks and tilted his head to the floor with a hand going to rest under his chin to support his head. His hands staggered so he closed them into fists.
“I just can’t lose the sight I have left for something I don’t really need. You and I could live like this for the rest of our lives. Not risking permanent, full blindness.”
Roger sat on the floor and rested his head on Brian’s shaking knee. “But imagine twenty years down the road when you can’t have the surgery, and you regret never knowing.”
“But imagine if I can never see even your figure again. I can’t see you, but I know you’re in front of me. I can just hardly see you. But you’re there, and I can’t have that gone from my life. I can't live like that.” He stretched out and brushed his shoulder to show his point.
“Listen, I know it’s overwhelming, but you need to take risks like this. You do it all the time, remember when you woke up at four in the morning and went on a walk without Pac-Man?”
Brian blinked. “That was a terrible example. I got lost and ended up in a bush.”
“And then you cried but we aren’t gonna mention that,” Roger mentioned anyways.
“It was a stressful night. Why was that your example?”
He breathed in and ran his fingers over the tops of Brian’s thighs. “Because you made a brave decision and even though it didn’t work out, and you came home covered in leaves and almost gave me a hernia, you still did it because you really wanted it. Being independent that is. Imagine all of the walks you’ll be able to go on when you can see, Bri.”
Brian agreed so he smiled and put his hand out to the top of Rogers's head where he stroked back and forth through the long hair. He hadn’t showered in around three days and he could tell, but Roger had also been up stressing and making phone calls to make sure everything went flawless for today. Even down to the smallest things like the blankets on the hospital bed he’d be getting because he knew Brian didn’t like the feeling of the scratchy blankets there usually was, which he didn't even need to be told.
That was something he loved about Roger, he always remembered the important things.
“We should go to a museum after my surgery,” He said carefully and hopefully, a head tilt and smile going with it. “And the coffee shop. Oh, we should see a movie-“
“Baby,” Roger laughed. “We have time to do everything you just said. You have to have the bloody surgery first.”
Though he knew everything to be known practically inside and out based on Roger never shutting up about everything, he was still a little timid. There were a lot of things he didn’t like about the idea of the surgery, such as the fact he would be awake while it happened.
What would he do with his hands while someone who probably woke up far too early and drank too much coffee slices his eyes open? Would that person go on to perform another surgery right after, forgetting about him after? What music would they listen to while they did it, if any? Lots of questions.
“What music do you think we’ll listen to during surgery?”
Without missing a beat, Roger said; “Spanish rap music.”
“Wait what? Why?”
“So you’ll be so confused trying to figure out what they’re saying that you forget you’re having surgery.”
“That’s a fair point. I’ll request Spanish rap music. Like some weirdo.”
“If you want to be really confused, ask for German folk metal.”
“God, you’re so weird.”
Roger pat Brian’s cheeks and made an ‘oooh!’ sound with his teeth clenched. “You know it!”
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Chapter 3: I Couldn’t Think Of A Clever Title So This Is Called: The One Where Brian’s Eyesight Still Sucks But It Wont Soon Because Of A Thing Called: The Miracle Of Surgery
You read the title, right? If not, do that. You don’t need anything else but that just read the fucking chapter.
They got up around five o'clock in the morning because neither of them could sleep. They didn’t have to be at the hospital until one o'clock so they took time to shave Brian's face, then Roger’s own, and then sat in the living room in the early morning silence.
They held hands in the mellow luminosity of the sunrise, uneasy fingers running over and over bone and vein exhibiting through pale skin. Words didn’t seem to want to come; like they were held in the throats of both men from the stress dam in their vocal cords.
Brian was the first to move since they’d sat down nearly an hour after they’d shaved together. He reclined his head on Roger’s lap and folded his long legs into the edge of the sofa, having to tuck his knees into his chest just to fit.
Roger’s fingers automatically went to the crown of his boyfriend's head and he ran through the bush of curly hair. Brian sighed in ease and closed his eyes. He kissed the bare skin where Roger’s boxers ended on his upper thigh. The fabric was fitting against the skin and he smiled at the warmth he felt.
The thin layer of hair rose when he kissed it again and ran his palm over the spot where he’d pressed his lips. Roger hummed in pleasure and raised Brian's shirt to his shoulders where he ran his nails over his back.
Brian couldn’t help the yawn that came through him, nor could he help when he closed his eyes and began to fall asleep on Roger’s lap with the feeling of his back being scratched continuing.
Brian didn’t move when Roger got up and went to pack the car with Pac-Man to help. He was trained to assist around the home when Roger wasn’t near so he helped carry bags in his mouth and on his back, gladly taking them to the car and returning for more.
They would be at the hospital for a week or two, but Roger packed for three weeks in case anything went wrong. He wore the outfit Brian loved for him to wear, the one with the soft sleeves and cologne that Roger said matched. The outfit didn’t match whatsoever but it was textured and Brian’s first words when he ‘saw’ Roger in it was that he adored it, so he wore it often.
The shirt was a navy blue with bell sleeves, pink stitching skirting the edges of the billowing opening to said sleeve. The trousers were nothing special; white and plain with four buttons down the middle. They were a little long for him and despite not being high waisted, they were on him. He looked like he just sprang out of Austin Powers but if Brian liked it then he would wear it for all eternity.
Brian was still on the sofa sleeping when the car was fully parked and Pac-Man was in his service vest with the handle on it so the brunette could hold onto it instead of using a leash; it helped with control and also so he would have a closer distance to the canine in the case he wrapped the leash around something.
Brian nearly broke his nose when he made the mistake of using a leash in a grocery store. Pac-Man had wrapped himself around the wheels of the cart and that caused Brian to tumble into the metal bars, efficiently giving Roger a heart attack.
Now sitting on the sofa as gently as he could, he ran fingers down the back of his lover’s shirt who twitched for a moment before inhaling deeply and reaching his hand out for Roger to take, which he did.
“Are you ready?” Roger inquired quietly.
“I packed everything up, you just gotta go get dressed. Wear something comfortable.”
Brian smiled and ran his hands over his face to wipe away some of the post-nap tiredness. He rolled to his back and stretched his legs over the arm of the couch and his arms over Roger who had to lean to give him room.
“Okay, I’m gonna get dressed,” Brian said yet he didn’t move. Roger waited forever for him to move but he still remained where he sat.
“Brian I’m still here.”
“You haven’t moved.”
“Is it because you’re nervous?”
Roger made an ‘ah’ and pat his hand over Brian’s forehead. “We talked about this, Bri.”
He frowned and crossed his arms in physical response. “Are you gonna be upset if I have doubts?”
“No, never. I had doubts at first too. You know this is your choice, Bri. If you don’t want the surgery, you don’t have to get it.”
He shook his head. “I want it, I do. I’m just nervous. I don’t want it to hurt.”
“Is that all you’re nervous about?”
“I’m still a little nervous about losing my sight completely.”
Roger ran his hands over Brian’s cheeks and massaged over his cheekbones. He didn’t even mind at the moment, he just accepted the weird form of affection. “Listen, it’ll be alright. You can talk the doctor's ears off the whole time if you want, or you could blank out and listen to that German folk metal. It’ll be alright.”
Brian laughed and slapped Rogers hands away from his face before sitting up and standing with another stretch. “Whatever. It’ll be okay, right?”
Brian clapped his hands and for a moment, his fear flooded out and confidence filled him. Even when he got dressed he was fearless. He got to wear sweats and an old T-shirt with a washed-out cereal logo on the front with his sandals; it was the most comfortable thing he had and that was a comfort to wear.
The drive to the hospital was upbeat and festive, Pac-Man rested beneath Brian’s feet and Roger kept the conversation away from the thing heavy on both of their minds.
As soon as Brian got out of the car, the dog following him close behind, he was practically tackled by, who he clearly knew, was Freddie followed by John.
“Aren’t you so excited!?” Freddie squealed in his ear. “Oh, of course, you are! How could you not be!? You’re gonna be seeing everything soon!”
Brian had no room to answer because then John wrapped his arms around his neck and squeezed until he felt a touch dizzy.
“I can't wait for you to see us!” John told simply before letting go. Freddie, on the other hand, did not and continued to squeeze the life out of him until he had to gasp for air. Roger was the one who had to pry him off of his neck after Brian went a little purple.
“He won’t have anything to see with if you strangle him to death, Fred,” Roger said with a laugh. Freddie clearly wanted to go right back to hugging his friend but he resisted.
“You can’t blame me! He’s just so soft and this is the best reason to hug him!”
They all stared at Freddie and he crossed his arms with a frown. “Fine but don’t be stupid enough to think that I’m not cuddling with him when he’s out of surgery.”
That was a decent point so they descended into the hospital. Freddie, John, and Roger didn’t quiet down for even a moment. Perhaps it was because they were nervous but Brian decided to stop talking for the same reason, there was nothing he could say that would add to the conversation.
A nurse met them in a waiting room and Brian was taken aback with Roger attached to his hand to be given preoperative eye drops that made his pupils expand. They were huge, and Roger furrowed his brow when he saw them after they fully expanded but didn’t say anything past the physical action.
Freddie was less private with his reaction. As soon as he saw Brian, he grabbed his face and said, “Goddamn your pupils are huge!”
Which, yes, Brian knew that. He was told that would happen before he put the eye drops in.
“Yes, Freddie, I’m aware,” Brian responded with a blank expression.
Freddie took him, still glued to his face, and pushed him forward. “John, look!”
John, being about as amused as Brian currently was, slapped Freddie’s hands away to free their friend from the prison of hands he was engulfed in. “He’s well aware his pupils are big, you nut!”
Roger took hold of Brian’s hand again and kissed the top of his hand to which the brunette smiled at while his eyes were toward the floor. His cheeks flushed pink and Roger smiled when his hand was squeezed affectionately.
“So are you ready for sight?” John asked, plucking a stray hair from Brian’s shoulder.
“As ready as I can be.”
“You don’t seem terribly excited.”
Brian shrugged. “Not terribly excited to have someone cutting my eyes open. Not excited to sit in a hospital with bandages over my face.”
Freddie popped in this time; “Why do you have to stay here in the first place? They normally let you go home, no?”
“They’re doing a more invasive operation than what they’d give someone with regular cataracts. Mine are an extreme case, most people can still see. I got lucky,” He smiled and nodded as he lectured, a laugh to end his sentence. “So they need to make sure my eyes don’t...Like, explode or something.”
The oldest gasped and put both hands on Brian’s chest. “My goodness! Can that really happen!?”
Roger smacked him over the head with a thunk. “No, you tuna roll, it can’t happen. They need to make sure they didn’t fuck him up more, and the risk of infection is there too so they need to make sure he doesn’t get one.”
“Did you just call me a tuna roll?”
Roger shrugged and let go of Brian’s hand when Freddie slapped him over the head in response to his sushi comment. Brian stood there, lips pressed into a line, and heard as his boyfriend and best friend beat the hell out of each other in a hospital waiting room while John sighed at least six times.
With both of their hands up in defensive poses, they stepped away from each other incredibly slowly just in case the other made a move of attack again.
“Truce?” Freddie asked guardedly.
“Truce,” Roger replied. “For now…”
They both gave each other side-glances before taking their partners hands.
“You two are so fucking stupid. The first thing I see better not be you two going at it like children.”
Roger grinned and stretched up to give Brian a kiss. “I’ll make sure it is, just so you can say that it’s the first thing you saw.”
“You love me.”
“I kind of have to; I've memorized the layout of our house.”
Roger squinted. “You love me for more than that!”
“Oh yeah,” He said, getting a smile from Roger. “Also the sex is great.”
“See? Much better,” Roger grinned and hummed in satisfaction.
“What do you love me for?” Freddie asked with eyes batting affectionately as he leaned into John who didn’t look up.
“Because you’re rich.”
“And,” John said. “I’m afraid that if I leave you, you’ll hire a hitman and kill me.”
“Awww you know me so well, love!” Freddie squeaked before wrapping his arms around John's head who laughed and kissed his blushing cheek.
Their good times were interrupted with a doctor, the same woman from before, coming in and calling Brian’s name.
Brian must have squeezed Roger's hand too hard because he heard a hiss and felt his arm twitch despite the fact that he didn’t move.
“Sorry,” Brian said quietly as they moved. It felt like he was simply floating there and not the own will of his limbs taking him. “Too tight?”
“No, no. You’re okay. Squeeze as much as you want, Bri.”
John and Freddie were quiet as they walked, the only sound he could hear was of their boots tapping against the tile floor.
“Okay,” The nurse said. “We’re going to do put you into your room and, Brian, you’re gonna come with me so we can get you ready. After, we’ll take you back here to be with your friends, how does that sound?”
She smiled and patted him on the shoulder, making sure she didn’t brush against Pac-Man who was loyally walking by his side.
The room was quite small but it was comfortable enough for the four of them, five including the dog. Brian stepped around the unfamiliar room and Roger pointed out things that could get in his way so he would be okay to walk once out of surgery.
The doctor waited patiently by the door but when he was finished looking, he took both of Roger’s hands and kissed him with a worried expression. A hand was brought to his face and he pressed into it.
“It’ll be okay,” Roger smiled. “And I’ll see you after.”
“We’ll see you too, love.”
Brian smiled and nodded, picking up the handle for Pac-Man’s vest, and finally stepped out of the room.
He was a ball of neurotic energy. His fingers tapped against the side of his thigh and handle of the vest and he bit into his lip painfully while they walked together.
Clearly being afraid, the doctor rubbed his shoulder once again and quietly asked; “Would you like something for the anxiety, Mr.May?”
He sighed with the tension beginning to liquify. “God, that sounds amazing.”
So he was given a few tablets of something he couldn’t pronounce nor remember the name of. By the time he was in the operating room, in a bed that crunched once he sat down, he was completely relaxed and could hardly think of what was about to happen. Mind blank, he was spoken to and since it was quite clear he was a mile away, he was only asked yes or no questions to make it as simple as possible.
“These are eye drops to numb you up,” A male voice said. “Do you understand?”
“This is a paper drape for your face. Do you understand?”
“Yes,” And a paper drape came down on his face.
"And we're going to pull your hair back into this," The doctor brushed a hair-net against Brian's hand and the sensation tickled against his flesh. His hair was tucked back into a ponytail which then was pulled into the net, but he didn't mind. Not that he was thinking three-dimensionally in the first place.
“And you’re just going to look right here for me,” The male said while taking his chin and moving it straight. A light was right in his eyes but he couldn’t tell, so the doctor continued.
The speaking stopped and when people began to speak again, and a mechanical sound began, the nervousness still hadn’t returned.
He hardly noticed when the surgery actually began. Music, classical piano, played behind him and he lay patiently waiting for the surgery to begin despite it already having begun.
Brian couldn’t tell how much time had passed when he heard tools bumping against one another followed by the same male voice from before saying; “Emulsifying first lense.”
With a slurred and drowsy voice, he said: “What’s that?”
“Breaking up the lense.”
He wanted to nod but hands pressed against the sides of his head and he took the hint which was obviously to stop moving and be quiet. With his question, they dropped most of the medical talk and began making it more clear for him to understand.
“Breaking the second lense,” The doctor said. Brian felt a pang of excitement through the haziness of his body.
“And now we’re going to begin taking them out. Give us a thumbs up or thumbs down for how you’re feeling, Mr.May.”
So, Brian gave a thumbs up and they continued.
He wasn’t expecting perfect twenty-twenty vision, but he did expect more than he got once the surgery was deemed over. Nothing looked different, and the thought almost brought him to tears if his eyes weren’t already quite watery from the eye drops they continued to give him.
“It went perfectly, Mr.May. Textbook surgery; how do you feel?”
Brian frowned. “Nothing is different.”
“That’s perfectly normal. It won’t be until you have time to rest,” He said while Brian was sat up wearily. “And have time to get used to intraocular lenses. For now, we’ll put dressings over your eyes and we will bring your service dog back in the room to guide you.”
Brian lifted his hair and tucked the curls behind his ears after removing the hair-net to help the doctors wrap the bandages around his face. It only covered his eyes and despite the numbing medication, the places where he could feel dull pressure from the needles and tools felt strange.
Still slurring and out of it, Brian stood and exhaled wearily when his feet connected to the ground. He was taken out of the room and into another room that smelled like hand sanitizer more strongly than the rest of the hospital before being sat down in a padded chair to wait for the rest of the men to be alerted of his completion.
It didn’t take long for the rest of the men to get there, and when they stepped in they saw Brian looking as if he’d fallen asleep. His head was tucked into his palm that pressed against the side of his head to keep his head up and he wasn’t making any sounds or indications he knew what was happening around him.
Roger stepped forward and bent to the ground with a hand running over Brian’s knee, getting a loopy smile that made them aware he wasn’t asleep, just sluggish.
“Hey baby, how do you feel?” Roger asked quietly.
“Tired,” Brian replied heavily.
“I’m sure you are. Was it as cool as you imagined?”
Brian nodded. “Didn’t hurt.”
He smiled up at his partner and kissed his leg. “I’m so glad, Bri. Freddie and John are here too.”
Both men made sounds and Brian waved groggily at them while attempting to somehow find them through his bandages.
“They must have given you some good drugs, huh?” Freddie asked with a suppressed giggle.
“Mhm,” Brian confirmed. “M’very relaxed,” To prove his point, he sighed and dropped his shoulders that he didn’t realize were so tense.
“When will the stitches come out?” Roger asked, now facing away from Brian but keeping his hand on his knee.
“Only a few days,” The doctor replied with a smile. “He’ll have an IV once he can return to his room to ease any discomfort he may have.”
“Oh,” Brian said sulkingly. “Will it hurt?”
“Just a pinch,” Roger said over the woman. He pinched Brian’s hand and he wiggled under the pressure. “That’ll be it.”
Brian nodded and yawned heavily with a hand sloppily running over his face until Roger took his hand and squeezed it.
“Let’s not touch, okay?” Roger said cooley.
“It might hurt you, you don’t want that.”
That made sense so he nodded. Clicking sounds on the hard floor began and Pac-Man rested his head on Brian’s legs with a sigh himself. Brian went right into petting his head and he smiled upon feeling the puffy texture of his face.
“‘M very tired,” Brian said wearily. “Is there somewhere I can lay down?”
“Not yet, but you can rest your head on my shoulder if that would help.”
Brian nodded and Roger sat in a chair next to him. He rested his head down on the shoulder of the blonde just as he said he would and since he had bandages over his face, no one could tell if he was sleeping or simply sitting and relaxing. Up until he began to breathe heavily they thought he was only sitting.
“Is he alright?” Freddie whispered as he leaned in across the small room.
“He’s fine. He’s just a bit loopy.”
“Well, I can see that,” Freddie smiled and looked over his friend who was resting. “When will he be able to see?”
Roger shrugged gently. “Soon enough. Maybe a week or so.”
Both John and Freddie buzzed with excitement.
“So, he’s gonna have well off vision, right? Not like you?” John laughed and Freddie held his tongue. Roger rolled his eyes.
“Oh shut up. He’s gonna have the vision he has, I don’t know if it’ll be perfect but he’ll be able to see.”
Freddie pat his lap and Pac-Man stepped over before crawling into his lap halfway given his size. “You’re gonna be a good, normal doggy soon, Pac-Man. You won’t need to guide your friend anymore, no you won’t!”
“Well, he’s still a service dog,” Roger said with a look to Brian. “He still has seizures. Can’t really fix those.”
“Oh, that’s right. Well, he won’t have Brian bumping into walls and cursing at him for getting in his way so that’s a bonus.”
They all nodded.
Brian must have been stirred awake by the conversation because he breathed in and rubbed his forehead against Roger’s shoulder with a heavy breath out. He was hardly asleep half an hour so the fogginess still remained in his body from the medications he took.
“Well good morning, sleepy!” Freddie said cheerfully.
“Where’s Roger?” Brian asked stiffly, nearly upset.
“Right here,” He put his hand out and took Brian’s. “How are you feeling?”
He seemed irritated and the three could tell based on his flat tone and lack of interesting answers.
Roger put his hand on the side of Brian’s head and stroked through the hair. “Are you alright, Bri?”
“Are Freddie and John here?”
“Can they leave for a minute?”
Roger looked over to Freddie and John and they both looked at each other in confusion. He made a sweeping motion to the door and mouthed; ‘one moment ’. With that, they left and Rogers focus went back to Brian who had leaned away from his boyfriend.
“What’s going on, Brian?”
“It didn’t work,” He answered thickly with a slight slur; Roger worried he would begin crying with how heavy his voice came out. “I still couldn’t see.”
Roger rubbed his thigh and frowned. “Baby you didn’t have time to heal, you’ve just had it.”
Exactly what he was afraid of, Brian sniffled. “You said it would be better afterwards.”
“You had a special kind of operation, Bri. You aren’t gonna see for a few days, okay? It didn’t fail, it just hasn’t had time to work. I think you’re worked up because you’re tired and can’t lay down, yeah?”
Brian nodded and his arms crossed. “I suppose.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
He shook his head.
“Not even a hug?”
Brian paused in thought and shifted his body towards Roger who smiled and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. He’d calmed down enough to relax and Roger was glad for that, he would be more glad when he was able to rest and have an IV in him to help with the discomfort that would come after his medication he was currently on wore off.
For now, he just wanted to enjoy hugging his boyfriend who looked a little bit like daredevil in the best way possible.
Chapter 4: Just A Few More Days
Brian is getting antsy.
Brian was getting antsy being in the hospital and it was getting incredibly obvious.
His frustrations were pushed down as far as he could get them to avoid a fight with any of his friends but it was getting exhausting to sit back and fake a smile and pretend like his blood wasn’t boiling.
If someone touched him, even Roger, he wiggled out of it as quickly as he could because even the smallest touch provoked him.
He couldn’t leave the building, he couldn’t walk around, and he could do anything he wanted. It was torture sitting in that bed waiting for sight to come when his eyes burned when he blinked behind the bandages and he had vicious doubts of the surgery working at all.
No matter how many exciting talks about going out to see the world Freddie, John, and Roger had near him, he just grit his teeth and tried to block them out. There was still a risk of infection. A risk that the cataracts had damaged more than just his lenses. A risk that he would still be blind after the removal of the foggy lenses.
The breaking point in his frustration was when he was standing to use the bathroom and he somehow managed to tug out his IV through the tape that was supposed to be keeping it down.
Brian hissed in agony and when he cupped his hand to the top of his other, he felt heated wetness meet his palm. Based on the reaction he heard and the way he was pushed back in bed, it must have torn the flesh. The pain was humble but turned into an fervent throbbing when toilet paper was held to the top of the injury by Roger.
“You gotta be more careful, Bri,” He said with a voice bursting with concern that grated on Brian’s nerves. “You could have ripped your vein.”
“Well I can’t fucking see, now can I? Can’t be bloody careful if I can’t even fucking see what’s around me.”
The room was stiff and even Brian could tell. He didn’t exactly care, gritting his teeth and turning his jaw; he was frustrated.
Roger could tell too and he unhelpfully asked; “Brian what’s your issue?”
“Like you don’t know,” Brian scoffed. “You all get to laugh and fuck around in the this bloody room and I have to sit here waiting to find out if I made one of the worst mistakes of my life- wonder if I’ve just ruined everything I had.”
“No, Rog, no. I can't even eat lunch by myself. It’s pathetic.”
“You’ve always needed help with certain things, Brian. Why is it bothering you now?”
“This is different.”
“Because I want to see already.”
“Don’t tell me I need to fucking heal or I’ll find the window and leap out of it.”
Roger pulled the toilet paper away and some of the paper stuck to his skin, yanking the dried blood away when he pulled which made Brian wince with another hiss.
“Well, as soon as you can see we’ll all fuck right off and you can eat as many lunches as you want all by yourself,” Said Roger with a smile and a kiss to the injury on Brian’s hand. “And I know this is taking longer than you’d like. It’s been three days and nothing. It’ll happen and soon enough it’ll feel like a lifetime since you couldn’t see.”
Brian nodded but he wasn’t completely at ease. He still wanted to yank his hand away from his boyfriend but he resisted the urge as to not seem like a cock.
“I’m tired of being here. I want to go home.”
Roger understood and he showed it by crawling into the bed to sit by his lover, putting his head on his shoulder. “I know. Few more days.”
“On Freddie and John’s laps.”
Brian laid down and patted his chest. Pac-Man jumped onto the bed and rested on top of his owner’s chest which made him smile. He wrapped his arms around the dog's body and squeezed as tight as he could without hurting him.
“Just a few more days.”
Chapter 5: Life In Color
Brian's got eyes, bro
Ive been busy with my main fic Drowse on this same account so yall should check that out. it seems really long but i promise it doesnt get boring uwu
ty guys for the support with this series !!!
my tumblr if yall wanna talk is FeederMercury
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Just a few more days became a mantra.
Just a few more days, Brian said when he would feel his eyes burn behind the fabric covering them.
Just a few more days, Brian would say when he had to remove the bandages and hear the curious hm’s and huh’s of the doctors and friends alike; mostly from the fact that both of his eyes were watering, red, and lightly bruised around the edges.
His frustration from the fact that nothing was going quite as fast enough for him only worsened with time. Within the next week of his sitting and doing nothing it really began to irritate him in a new way where instead of anger that he pushed on his friends, he instead decided to remain silent. That really got under Roger’s skin in a concerning way.
He was really the only person Brian would talk to even for a second and fundamentally the sole person he would allow to take him to the bathroom and other rooms for examinations.
Now on his second and a half week in, he was asleep past noon.
Roger, Freddie, and John were outside of the room, far more excited than he was even when he was asleep, and were busy speaking to the woman who had been Brian's doctor in the past weeks who did most of his exams and took care of him even when he was a bit of a prat from his foul mood; Doctor Snow.
Roger was basically an inch away from the doctors face while Freddie and John were pressed against the wall with hands over their mouths to mute themselves from the excitement that was bound to seep out and wake Brian up even through the door.
“Today? Like, today?” Roger demanded from the woman in front of him who was attempting to get farther away from him. “No, don’t say- what am I saying? Yes, answer me! Today?”
“Yes, Mr.Taylor, today.”
“Wait,” Roger gasped. His hands went to his knees and he bent over with a huff of air like he was going to pass out. Maybe he was, was he? Oh god. “I’m gonna pass out.”
Freddie turned from his place in the wall and pat Roger on the back in a supportive way that was mostly not wanting Roger to embarrass him by passing out in the hallway of a hospital. Even though that would be the best place to do so, he didn’t want that to happen.
“No, no, you’re not going to do that because I’ll have to kill you,” He warned which got him a confused glare from Doctor Snow. “You have to go tell Brian, now get up.” Freddie put his arms around Roger’s waist and picked him up a few inches off the floor, surprising practically everyone, to put him in front of the door that he opened for him so he could push him in.
Brian was sat up in bed, his head turned away from the door and towards the bathroom where he was particularly distracted with unravelling the blanket Roger had bought him by picking the thread he had tugged loose.
“Roger?” Brian asked the room. His voice was thick with sleep and confusion, moving his head towards the sounds of shoes squeaking against the tile floors while his friends entered. Another sound of metallic squeaking caught his attention as well.
“Hey, baby,” Roger sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around Brian’s arm like a hug which thoroughly confused Brian. “Are you awake?”
“Well, yes. I am. I’m speaking to you, aren’t I?”
“Okay, smartypants, I meant are you awake enough to get up? Go on a little adventure?”
“Bloodwork or a walk around the hospital?” Brian asked flatly. It hardly sounded like a question, more like an unentertained sentence.
“Neither,” Roger said with a smile which got Brian’s attention. “How about we...Metaphorically...Go see- Yeah let’s go see!” To him, it made sense why he could end his sentence there but to Brian, who wasn’t a mind reader, it made no sense.
“What are you talking about?”
“You know? See- okay we’re gonna have your first eye exam today.”
Brian, who hadn’t been very expressive active in days, shot out of his sitting position and folded his legs under his torso to get closer to Roger who was only inches away from him now. “You’re serious?”
“Dead se-” Roger couldn’t finish his words because just as suddenly, Brian’s hand was on his face searching for his lips and the next thing he knew he was laying down with his boyfriend on top of him attacking him for kisses.
Eyes wide open while the brunette tried to get him to open his lips by licking at them, Roger laughed while trying to get him to slow down. “Hey-” He mumbled. “We aren’t alone! There’s like four people in here!”
Brian didn’t care. He couldn’t care less. It was only when his IV stand yanked forward from his arms tugging did he break away to get it closer but Roger used his distraction to get him to cool off for a second instead of practically fucking him in front of both his friends, his doctor, and a nurse who had a wheelchair ready for him.
“We can do that when you can see me, okay?” Roger took his hand, the one not attached to a machine, and pat it. He watched Brian break out into a smile that he hadn’t seen since they’d left their house. “But right now we have to actually go to the exam room, yeah?”
Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Brian ran his hands across the fabric of his hospital given pants. He heard the squeaking from earlier return and an unfamiliar pair of hands took him by the wrists to help him stand. He didn’t question it since no one was telling him not to reject the help and in a moment he was sitting in what he knew was a wheelchair.
Someone else pat his thighs and given the number of rings the hands had on them, it had to be Freddie. Not to mention the fact he could hear him breathing. And perhaps crying.
“Where’s Pax?” Brian asked, moving his hands to the floor on either side of the chair to see if he was by his side.
Roger pat his head and hummed. “He’s in the room. We took him earlier cause he kept trying to get in bed with you.”
Brian smiled at that thought. He probably fussed at the fact Roger wasn’t allowing him to get into bed with him but it was probably for the best since he needed sleep and Pac-Man was guaranteed to want to get on top of him and shove his head under his chin to get comfortable.
Everyone was in the room before Brian knew it. Being sightless makes things like travel a lot faster or a lot slower, and with the excitement, it was much faster. The small room was cramped and bright but the lights were lowered before anyone could think of taking off his bandages so he wouldn’t either have a seizure from the shock or go blind again.
“I’m afraid we can only have one other person in the room with Brian while we do this,” Doctor Snow said apologetically, looking to Freddie and John.
“Aw,” Freddie said with a frown. John didn’t mind as much but he did look somewhat disappointed. “Well, we will see you after you get out of here, hm?” Brian nodded and to finish the deal before they left, Freddie kissed the top of his head.
Now the room had four occupants including a dog who was laying under Doctor Snow’s chair. In front of him, mostly untouched but some chewed on, was a pile of doggy bones and treats that had to be gifted to him for being a cute, cooperative boy from almost everyone on the hospital staff who saw him while his owner was collected.
“Okay, so your eyes might still be a little sensitive,” She said while clacking on a computer monitor. “But if all is well, you should be able to see.”
Brian’s heart jumped into his throat at the mention. Roger was just as excited as he was, obviously, and squeezed his hand with the enthusiasm he needed to release before he exploded.
“Okay, should we start?”
Brian nodded frantically and Roger couldn’t help but inhale with excitement and nervousness Doctor Snow moved forward, making sure she didn’t run the German Sheppard under the chair over, and placed both of her hands on Brian’s face. The rubber gloves covering her hands were warm and comforting but the tension in the room put him on edge.
“I’m just gonna begin undoing the bandages. If anything hurts tell me.”
“What will hurt?” Roger whispered.
“He’ll be sensitive to light and opening his eyes might take a moment.”
Brian sat as still as he could for someone who wanted to bounce off the walls in nervous energy while the bandage was slowly removed. Once off, he was instructed to open his eyes. It was just as difficult as he’d thought and he could hardly pry his eyes open before Doctor Snow was helping, returning her hands to his face.
“Relax,” She said. “And look down.”
Brian looked down and his eyes were opened.
At first, nothing was different. When he looked down at where his lap should have been, he saw dark blurs. With confusion, he looked up and saw something. Something, however, was better than nothing. He was seeing something, even if he was squinting!
“Does anything hurt?”
Brian shook his head and the motion knocked him into a less blurry vision. Shaking it again, things began to clear up.
There were sounds from the chair his doctor was sitting on, but he wasn’t going to be sure that it was her until she spoke again which she did and his mind was practically blown.
“Woah,” He mumbled. A gasp caught his attention and he looked to his right where another person was sitting. Gentle facial features met his gaze and he burst out into a smile when he realized, with much enthusiasm, that it was his boyfriend. “Roger?”
Roger, who was more mind blown than Brian was, sat back in his chair and wiped a hand across his forehead. “Oh god, I’m gonna pass out.”
He did exactly as promised and the next thing Brian ever saw was his boyfriend slumping against the wall with his eyes closing.
“Well,” Brian said in confusion. “That- I don’t- okay. Do we do something?"
Doctor Snow couldn’t hold back a laugh at Roger’s reaction and that brought his attention back to her. She was also gentle, her features soft and light. She smiled at him and he smiled back. "I think he'll be okay. I’m Doctor Snow,” She put her hand out for Brian to shake and kept it there while he stared at it.
Shaking her hand was more complicated than he’d expected. First, his eyes caught the attention of his hand which was something he’d never seen before. She understood his curiosity and kept her hand out for when he eventually got to her.
Reaching for her hand now, he missed. He missed the second time and by the third, she just took his hand in her own to help him out.
Shaking hands is a lot weirder when you can see your hands and you just learned what hands look like.
“What is that?” Brian suddenly asked, eyes pointed at the object under the chair she was in. “It’s moving, what is it?”
“Oh!” Doctor Snow exclaimed. “That would be a very special boy.”
The object crawled out from under her chair and went to Brian's side. Instinctively he moved away from it, not understanding what it was or why it was near him, but the familiar smell and feel of the thing made him gasp when he realized it was his dog.
“Oh my god! Pac-Man!” He squealed with his hands going to the dogs face. “You’re so fucking scary!” Looking at his teeth, in particular, he looked terrifying. “I thought he was going to be cute. Everyone always tells me how cute he is…”
“You’ll think he’s cute later,” His doctor said with a smile. “Oh, and I think Mr.Taylor is waking up.”
Pretty much had forgotten about Roger, Brian perked back up and shoved his hand into Pac-mans collar so he wouldn’t run off before he got less scary and more cute. Roger was indeed waking up, and when he opened his eyes again he smiled with excitement.
“This hospital sucks I bet you didn't even try to help me, Doctor Snow," Roger frowned.
"Well, fainting isn't exactly an emergency."
Roger stared at his boyfriend's doctor and nodded slowly to let her know she'd won that battle. For now. Now turning his attention back to Brian, he saw that his hand was on Pac-Man and he realized with great joy that he had seen him for the first time. " You got to see Pax, huh? Isn’t he sweet?”
“Uh, not what I thought but sure.”
“Don’t be mean to him!” Roger crawled onto the floor and covered the dogs' ears. To Brian, he looked a million miles away. “He’s sensitive.”
That was definitely Roger speaking to him. And looking at him. And he was looking at Roger. Now he might faint.
Ignoring the dog, Brian smiled dreamily. “You’re so… Pretty.”
Roger threw the blonde hair that fell in front of his chest over his shoulder and smiled. “Well I know, but thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”
“Maybe we should go out sometime, Bri.”
“Shut up don’t ruin the moment.”
Roger grinned and put his hands on Brian’s lap. He looked down at them in interest and saw how long his fingers were compared to his own. Brian’s were longer and thinner, but Roger’s were clammy and shaking.
He didn’t know what to do now that he was seeing Roger for the first time. He knew he liked what he was seeing, but what was he seeing? With a hand going to the top of Roger’s head, he pressed his thumbs over his forehead.
“What is this?”
Brian stuck his thumbs on either side of Roger’s jaw and pried his mouth open. Roger allowed it, but furrowed his brow when he stuck both of his thumbs into his mouth to force them over his teeth.
“What are these?” Brian asked curiously.
Muffled, Roger said; “Teef.”
“Teeth?” He licked his own in his mouth. They felt different than Roger’s did. He only then realized he’d never seen himself. “Can I, uh,” He asked shyly, looking around the room while he wiped the saliva from his hands. “Have a mirror?”
“Of course you can,” Doctor Snow said happily. “One moment.” She went through her desk drawer and pulled a round mirror from her items. She must have gotten the question multiple times before so the mirror was quite large, large enough to fit enough of a face without needing to squint.
He now holds the key to knowing what he looked like for the first time in his life, and yet he was hesitant. What if he disliked what he saw? Or what if he was ugly? It sounds shallow, but he was scared.
“Wait, I don’t know,” He frowned and covered the mirror with his hand. “I don’t know if I want to know. Seeing you and Roger is getting overwhelming.”
Doctor Snow nodded understandingly. “Well, that mirror is yours until you want to use it. No rush, it’s up to you. Now, let’s do some tests to see how we’ll proceed.”
Brian was set in the rolling chair and pushed far into the corner of the room. He had a view of everything inside of the area but he didn’t know what he was looking at. Helpfully, Roger kept whispering the things that caught his gaze. If he looked at the door, Roger would say it. If his attention caught the dog again, Roger would say it. He wanted to make sure Brian knew he wasn’t surrounded by anything confusing and it truly helped make it less scary for his first time seeing things, especially things that were big or made a sound.
Doctor Snow straightened his head and shined a flashlight in his eyes, forcing him to squint in pain. “Good, She mentioned. “Pupils dilating.” He had never seen a person so close to him before and she was honestly quite beautiful. Not as beautiful as Roger, but she was very pretty. “Your eyes are brown, by the way.”
“Brown?” Brian asked. “Roger told me they were white.”
“They were white because of the cataracts. White isn’t a color, brown is like the feeling of bark, remember?”
“Uh-huh, I do. They have a color now?”
“Is it a good color?”
“It looks amazing.”
Brian, who was ignoring his doctor from his short attention span, leaned into Roger who had sat closer to him. “Your eyes are blue, right?”
Roger smiled and his eyes crinkled at the edges so Brian touched the lines. “They are blue, baby.”
“It’s beautiful, my new favourite color. Oh, I have a favourite color!”
“My eyes are green, Mr.May,” Doctor Snow said and got Brian’s attention. Her eyes were indeed green but seeing that this was the first time he’d ever seen anything like it, he didn’t quite understand what green was.
Back to getting his attention, Snow positioned his head towards an item hung on the wall. “This is an eye chart,” She explained. “Tell me if you can see the black shapes on the white, square chart.”
All of these new things he’d only heard of made his head swim. “I can see it.”
“Now, let's see how your depth perception is,” The woman stood and took Brians hands to get him into the same standing position. She was much shorter than him but she looked a million miles away. “I’m going to step back, and we’re going to approach each other and shake hands. Do you know how to shake my hand?”
Brian did, but he didn’t think he liked standing that much anymore. He felt dizzy and all he wanted to do was lay down on the floor so he wouldn’t feel how a sighted person does on a roller coaster. Doctor Snow backed away from him into the other side of the room but he couldn’t possibly stand any longer without being sick.
“Are you okay?” Roger asked, tugging at his hand when he noticed how strange of an expression Brian had on his face.
“I need to sit- lay-“ He sunk to the floor and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to follow Roger in fainting and put his head between his legs with a huff rushing through his lungs that steadied him. Something furry brushed against him and he put his hand against Pac-Man’s side.
Roger now sat in front of him with hands running over his body frantically in concern. “Are you gonna have a seizure? Is it your head? Brian-“
“I just need a minute.”
“Can we go back to our room?”
Doctor Snow returned to her desk and pulled a blindfold from her desk. It was embroidered with the hospital logo and she handed it out to Roger who slid it over Brian’s head for him. Despite just having sight for the first time in his entire life, he was relieved to be blind again.
“He did a lot for today, and it made a base to see how we can proceed. Really good today, Mr.May.”
“Thanks, uh, wheelchair?”
The wheelchair was outside of the room and when they opened the door, Freddie and John were anxiously waiting to see what had happened. Seeing Brian with a sleeping mask over his eyes was more than confusing and concerning and they pushed into the room when they realized the examination was over.
“Is he okay?” Freddie asked in deep worry. “Did it...Go okay?”
“He’s just feeling overwhelmed, he did really well. He saw me, saw Snow, and he saw Pax for the first time,” Roger explained with the excitement toned down into a more flat tone. “It was a lot for a day.”
John took Brian’s side and something he’d said made Brian smile and pat his friend on the head in a well-mannered way which was a good sign for his condition emotionally.
He was helped into the wheelchair he’d come in and when he was back to his room the first thing he did was lay face down in bed with a muffled moan of ecstasy from his body being able to relax.
“Good exam?” Freddie said. He sat on the bed and ran his hands over Brian’s back.
“Uh-huh. Let’s cut to the chase, when will you be able to see me and John?”
He laughed into his pillow and shifted to his back. “Give me ten minutes.”
So, they gave him ten minutes. Freddie counted practically every minute so he could hold it to him but the moment he reached six minutes, Brian shifted to his side and wrapped his arms around the blankets he’d pushed off of himself when he left.
The rest of the men looked at one another and Roger was the one to lift the sleeping mask from his lovers face to see if he was awake or asleep, and he was certainly asleep.
“Probably dreaming in color,” Roger commented with a smile. He tucked the blankets over his shoulder up under his chin and turned out the lights then closed the blinds to give him as much peace as he could. “Can you imagine seeing a dog for the first time? At twenty-three no less. He saw color for the first time today- me for the first time.”
“He saw you first?” John asked.
“No, he saw the doctor first. I passed out.”
John and Freddie stared at a blushing Roger dumbstruck. Freddie leaned forward on his knees and squinted. “You passed out?”
Roger flapped his hands in the air with exasperation. “Well! You haven’t been dating a blind guy for three years! It was a beautiful moment- oh, shut up.”
Now with the moment over, they all looked at their friend. Pac-Man did exactly what they’d thought he did and jumped up on the bed to get under Brian’s arm, whining when he didn’t move for him immediately. Brian moved his arm in a few seconds of the whining and nosing and the dog shuffled underneath him to stick his nose right in his face and sleep. He clearly didn’t care if his owner could breathe or not, just that he was comfortable because he certainly could not breathe with dog hair and wet dog nose in his face.
“He feels so much cuter than he is.” Brian whispered with a smile.
“Shut up and go to bed, Mr.Eyesight.”
Brian giggled. He was Mr.Eyesight now, huh? Well, it was better than the nickname Daredevil; the name now unfitting.
To have eyesight for the first time in his life! What a trip.
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