Carlos: hey you know that list of younger vks we protect for wholy selfish reasons too one day make them our minions
Carlos: add eddie to it
Jay: because he gave bea food and carlos thinks he’s adorable
Carlos: bc you all have ur own future minions and i get one too
Carlos: fuck you jay
Jay: sure, when?
Carlos: so wanna know who's apparently not dead
Mal: how do u know
Carlos: *image failed to send*
Carlos: mother fucker
Carlos: one sec i’ll type it out
Carlos: its a handwritten note from diego reading “hey carlos. I’m not dead, yay? You probably hate me, huh. Well maybe not like before you read this, but probably after.
I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I ran away to get Cruella off my back. Jumped into the water and shit to “die”, friend saved me, but no one ever found me and assumed i died. It was a shitty as hell thing to do, not to her, but to you. I left you with her. I’m not gonna say sorry, we don’t do that here. You probably learned that from experience, huh?
I shouldn't have left you with her. I should have stayed to protect you. But i was also like 12 at the time and you were like 6, and i was kinda expecting to like actually die in under a week so… that's really just an excuse tho.
I’ve been staying on the edges of the isle, camped out w/ a few others who left their parents. We just kinda lay low, we’re not really big names like you and your crew. If you wanna punch me in the face, leave a note w/ a date and time at gothel’s old place, i check there once a week.”
Jay: can i watch you deck him please its the only way i wont do it myself
Carlos: jay shut up please
Carlos: idfk what i want to do
Carlos: i kinda wanna kick him in the dick
Evie: please do
Jay: again. can. i. watch????
Carlos: but i kinda wanna hug him.
Carlos: i missed him
Mal: should i kill him for making u feel emotions
Carlos: sure why not
Carlos: i wanna try and talk to him first tho but u can when i give u the okay
DM- Mal, Uma
Uma: i need some extra magic
Uma: someone put their fucking hands on harry
Uma: in the way only me and gil are allowed to.
Mal: u know the price. You can talk to C, and evie might have a recipe for a really excruciating poison, but get either of them involved and you won’t be the only one getting her hands dirty this week.
Uma: you are a very possessive little creature
Mal: i’m a villain, its what i do
DM- Carlos, Diego
Diego: what the fuck is this?
Diego: if it’s a bomb ima be pissed
Carlos: its a phone
Carlos: u text on it
Diego: hi ‘los
Diego: why did you leave me a phone?
Carlos: why tf do you think?
Carlos: i wanted to talk
Carlos: also it literally said it was from me in the note why did you think it was a bomb?
Diego: i figured you’d be pissed
Diego: and that an attack was much more likely than a note
Diego: or a fucking phone
Carlos: then why did you give me an address to leave u shit?? Tf???
Carlos: have some god damn survival sense man
Diego: i don’t know!
Diego: i was just hopeful i guess
Diego: wait no how do i unsend
Diego: i don’t have emotions stop right now
Carlos: would u chill tf out
Carlos: ik villains have emotions. im not mom and im not ur dad im not gonna hate u for having them
Carlos: im evil as shit but i have emotions and sometimes talk about them but its really hard w/ ppl who arent in my crew but i’m gonna fucking try w/ you but if you say anything stupid i’ll show up at ur house w/ a kinfe don’t fucking test me rn
Diego: oh. Okay
Carlos: im like highkey pissed at u
Carlos: mostly bc u let me think u were dead for years rather than the leaving me behind guilt complex u have
Carlos: but i’m happy ur back from the dead
Diego: you should be mad at me for leaving you with cruella
Diego: i knew how fucking nuts she was
Diego: and you ran away and i didn’t even fucking do anything to help you
Carlos: yeah bc a 9 yr old me and 15 yr old you could have fought off 40 smthn year old gaston and his lackeys
Diego: i should have tried
Diego: ‘los you were like a little brother to me
Diego: i loved you
Diego: i still do
Diego: please don’t stab me i know im an easy target but i have no money for you to steal
Carlos: would you shut the absolute fuck up
Carlos: i loved you as a kid. I don’t remember too much, but I definitely remember you taking hits for me more than once, even b4 ur dad died. Jasper and horace kept jace and harry away as much as possible because they're not idiots, but Jace told me u once deadass took a knife for me. U protected me. Ur the only reason i know how old I am. Probably the only reason she didn’t kill me by accident when I was small
Carlos: i was sad you “died”. It felt like the only person who cared was gone. I wish you had told me. That's what I'm pissed about.
Diego: i’m sorry
Diego: i should have told you earlier
Diego: way way fucking earlier
Diego: it should have taken 8 minutes not 8 years
Carlos: wow. apologizing? I might just have to kill u for that… such weakness… :/
Diego: i honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not
DM- Diego, Jay
Diego: hey. I know i’ve been pretty absent, but thanks for protecting carlos for me.
Diego: and if you hurt him i’ll kill you
Jay: lmao says the dude who just admitted he failed to protect C
Jay: and C dosen’t need protecting, he’s strong as fuck and has saved my ass more times than i could count
Jay: he’s not some weak kid who needs his big cousin to give the shovel talk for him
Jay: and if anyone should be giving a talk its me, or mal or evie, since carlos is ours
Diego: fuck off
Diego: he’s my cousin and it’s my job to protect him
Jay: you left him, remember?
Jay: we protect him now. and he protects us.
Jay: he’s ours
Jay: don’t think you’re about to get in the middle of this.
Diego: i don’t like you
Diego: where are you
Jay: school lmfao come get your face kicked in
DM- Carlos, Uma
Carlos: uma ffs
Carlos: my bf and cousin are trying to kill each other
Uma: first, never use the phrase bf again this isn't auradon
Carlos: my most handsome gang member
Uma: thats worse
Uma: and second, why is that a problem? That sounds fucking hilarous
Carlos: it is but i want them to stop
Carlos: they’re both assholes and i want to yell at them
Uma: use that puppy dog look you have
Carlos: i don’t like that you call it that
Carlos: dogs are killing machines
Uma: and yet we call you pup
Carlos: 1) jay and mal hate when u do that
Carlos: 2) yes i am a killing machine
Carlos: i'm dangerous
Uma: just use it ffs
Uma: did it work
Uma: did u get a vid of them fighting first?
Carlos: no one kiss jay i’m mad at him
Mal: *thumbs up*
Carlos: don’t type a sad face you and I are about to have words Jabir
DM- Diego, Jay
Diego: okay so have we reached an agreement?
Jay: yeah ig
Diego: do you ever consider that the fact that we use violence to settle disagreements is bad for our mental and physical health and that we are in a way letting our enemies win by destroying ourselves like they wanted when they traumatized us?
Jay: i just fucking promised c i wasen’t going to fight you anymore do not make me break my promise
Jay: im not whipped i just know that he will actually stab you when you fuck up and im waiting for it to happen
Diego: I literally watched him cuss u out
Jay: fuck off
Diego: now you don’t get truce fish
Jay: why would i want fish
Diego: its fresh
Jay: how the actual fuck do you have fresh food??
Diego: my boyfriend is half octopus. He can swim good.
DM- Carlos, Jay
Jay: you know i really do trust you
Jay: and really don’t think you’re useless or anything
Carlos: logically yeah
Carlos: but you never act like it
Jay: i’m sorry
Jay: i know you can protect yourself
Jay: it’s just hard to let you sometimes
Jay: but i really will stop getting involved when i don’t need to
Jay: can i have kisses again now?
Carlos: no i’m still mad
DM- Mal, Diego
Mal: i feel like i need to threaten you because that's what good gang leaders do but also like my boys can protect themselves so idrc. If you really think i won’t fuck you up if you pull some shit your an idiot. Just follow the regular rules of isle fights and i won’t cut off your dick :)
Diego: do y’all want more fish?
Diego: i’m trying to be a part of Carlos's life again and i’d prefer if his boyfriend and girlfriends don’t hate me
Mal: were a gang
Mal: this isn’t auradon
Diego: do you want the fish or not
Mal: yeah dumbass