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for fucks sake y'all

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Chat- Core4

2:24 pm 


Carlos: hey you know that list of younger vks we protect for wholy selfish reasons too one day make them our minions

Carlos: add eddie to it 


Mal: y?


Jay: because he gave bea food and carlos thinks he’s adorable 


Carlos: bc you all have ur own future minions and i get one too 

Carlos: fuck you jay 


Jay: sure, when? 




Chat- Core4

7:03 am 


Carlos: so wanna know who's apparently not dead

Carlos: diego 


Evie: what. 


Mal: how do u know 


Carlos: *image failed to send* 

Carlos: mother fucker 

Carlos: one sec i’ll type it out

Carlos: its a handwritten note from diego reading “hey carlos. I’m not dead, yay? You probably hate me, huh. Well maybe not like before you read this, but probably after. 

I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I ran away to get Cruella off my back. Jumped into the water and shit to “die”, friend saved me, but no one ever found me and assumed i died. It was a shitty as hell thing to do, not to her, but to you. I left you with her. I’m not gonna say sorry, we don’t do that here. You probably learned that from experience, huh? 

I shouldn't have left you with her.   I should have stayed to protect you. But i was also like 12 at the time and you were like 6, and i was kinda expecting to like actually die in under a week so… that's really just an excuse tho. 

I’ve been staying on the edges of the isle, camped out w/ a few others who left their parents. We just kinda lay low, we’re not really big names like you and your crew. If you wanna punch me in the face, leave a note w/ a date and time at gothel’s old place, i check there once a week.”


Jay: can i watch you deck him please its the only way i wont do it myself 


Carlos: jay shut up please

Carlos: idfk what i want to do

Carlos: i kinda wanna kick him in the dick


Evie: please do 


Jay: again. can. i. watch???? 


Carlos: but i kinda wanna hug him. 

Carlos: i missed him 


Mal: should i kill him for making u feel emotions



Carlos: sure why not 

Carlos: i wanna try and talk to him first tho but u can when i give u the okay 




DM- Mal, Uma  

11:47 pm


Uma: i need some extra magic 


Mal: why 


Uma: someone put their fucking hands on harry


Mal: so? 


Uma: in the way only me and gil are allowed to. 



Mal: u know the price. You can talk to C, and evie might have a recipe for a really excruciating poison, but get either of them involved and you won’t be the only one getting her hands dirty this week.  


Uma: you are a very possessive little creature 


Mal: i’m a villain, its what i do



DM- Carlos, Diego 

1:23 pm


Diego: what the fuck is this?

Diego: if it’s a bomb ima be pissed


Carlos: its a phone

Carlos: u text on it


Diego: oh

Diego: uh

Diego: hi ‘los 

Diego: why did you leave me a phone? 


Carlos: why tf do you think? 

Carlos: i wanted to talk

Carlos: also it literally said it was from me in the note why did you think it was a bomb? 


Diego: i figured you’d be pissed

Diego: and that an attack was much more likely than a note

Diego: or a fucking phone


Carlos: then why did you give me an address to leave u shit?? Tf??? 

Carlos: have some god damn survival sense man


Diego: i don’t know!

Diego: i was just hopeful i guess


Carlos: oh


Diego: wait no how do i unsend

Diego: i don’t have emotions stop right now 


Carlos: would u chill tf out

Carlos: ik villains have emotions. im not mom and im not ur dad im not gonna hate u for having them

Carlos: im evil as shit but i have emotions and sometimes talk about them but its really hard w/ ppl who arent in my crew but i’m gonna fucking try w/ you but if you say anything stupid i’ll show up at ur house w/ a kinfe don’t fucking test me rn 


Diego: oh. Okay 


Carlos: im like highkey pissed at u 

Carlos: mostly bc u let me think u were dead for years rather than the leaving me behind guilt complex u have 

Carlos: but i’m happy ur back from the dead


Diego: you should be mad at me for leaving you with cruella

Diego: i knew how fucking nuts she was 

Diego: and you ran away and i didn’t even fucking do anything to help you 


Carlos: yeah bc a 9 yr old me and 15 yr old you could have fought off 40 smthn year old gaston and his lackeys


Diego: i should have tried

Diego: ‘los you were like a little brother to me 

Diego: i loved you

Diego: i still do 


Diego: please don’t stab me i know im an easy target but i have no money for you to steal   


Carlos: would you shut the absolute fuck up 


Diego: sure? 


Carlos: look. 

Carlos: i loved you as a kid. I don’t remember too much, but I definitely remember you taking hits for me more than once, even b4 ur dad died. Jasper and horace kept jace and harry away as much as possible because they're not idiots, but Jace told me u once deadass took a knife for me. U protected me. Ur the only reason i know how old I am. Probably the only reason she didn’t kill me by accident when I was small

Carlos: i was sad you “died”. It felt like the only person who cared was gone. I wish you had told me. That's what I'm pissed about. 


Diego: i’m sorry 

Diego: i should have told you earlier

Diego: way way fucking earlier

Diego: it should have taken 8 minutes not 8 years 


Carlos: wow. apologizing? I might just have to kill u for that… such weakness… :/ 


Diego: i honestly can’t tell if you’re joking or not 




DM- Diego, Jay

9:34 am 


Diego: hey. I know i’ve been pretty absent, but thanks for protecting carlos for me. 

Diego: and if you hurt him i’ll kill you


Jay: lmao says the dude who just admitted he failed to protect C

Jay: and C dosen’t need protecting, he’s strong as fuck and has saved my ass more times than i could count 

Jay: he’s not some weak kid who needs his big cousin to give the shovel talk for him

Jay: and if anyone should be giving a talk its me, or mal or evie, since carlos is ours


Diego: fuck off 

Diego: he’s my cousin and it’s my job to protect him 


Jay: you left him, remember? 

Jay: we protect him now. and he protects us. 

Jay: he’s ours

Jay: don’t think you’re about to get in the middle of this. 


Diego: i don’t like you 

Diego: where are you 


Jay: school lmfao come get your face kicked in 




DM- Carlos, Uma

10:02 am


Carlos: uma 

Carlos: uma 

Carlos: uma ffs


Uma: what 


Carlos: my bf and cousin are trying to kill each other


Uma: first, never use the phrase bf again this isn't auradon


Carlos: my most handsome gang member


Uma: ew 

Uma: thats worse

Uma: and second, why is that a problem? That sounds fucking hilarous


Carlos: it is but i want them to stop 

Carlos: they’re both assholes and i want to yell at them 


Uma: use that puppy dog look you have 


Carlos: i don’t like that you call it that 

Carlos: dogs are killing machines


Uma: and yet we call you pup


Carlos: 1) jay and mal hate when u do that 

Carlos: 2) yes i am a killing machine

Carlos: i'm dangerous


Uma: just use it ffs 


Carlos: k 


10:37 am  


Uma: did it work


Carlos: yeah


Uma: did u get a vid of them fighting first? 


Carlos: ofc 




Chat- Core4

10:46 am


Carlos: no one kiss jay i’m mad at him


Evie: kk 


Mal: *thumbs up*


Jay: :( 


Carlos: don’t type a sad face you and I are about to have words Jabir 




Jay: help 




DM- Diego, Jay

11:28 am


Diego: okay so have we reached an agreement?  


Jay: yeah ig 


Diego: cool

Diego: do you ever consider that the fact that we use violence to settle disagreements is bad for our mental and physical health and that we are in a way letting our enemies win by destroying ourselves like they wanted when they traumatized us? 


Jay: i just fucking promised c i wasen’t going to fight you anymore do not make me break my promise 


Diego: whipped 


Jay: im not whipped i just know that he will actually stab you when you fuck up and im waiting for it to happen


Diego: I literally watched him cuss u out 


Jay: fuck off


Diego: rude

Diego: now you don’t get truce fish 


Jay: why would i want fish 


Diego: its fresh 


Jay: ...

Jay: how the actual fuck do you have fresh food?? 


Diego: my boyfriend is half octopus. He can swim good. 




DM- Carlos, Jay

12:58 pm  


Jay: you know i really do trust you

Jay: and really don’t think you’re useless or anything 


Carlos: logically yeah 

Carlos: but you never act like it 


Jay: i’m sorry 

Jay: i know you can protect yourself 

Jay: it’s just hard to let you sometimes

Jay: but i really will stop getting involved when i don’t need to 


Carlos: okay 


Jay: can i have kisses again now? 


Carlos: no i’m still mad 




DM- Mal, Diego

2:07 am


Mal: i feel like i need to threaten you because that's what good gang leaders do but also like my boys can protect themselves so idrc. If you really think i won’t fuck you up if you pull some shit your an idiot. Just follow the regular rules of isle fights and i won’t cut off your dick :)


Diego: okay…. 

Diego: do y’all want more fish? 


Mal: why 


Diego: i’m trying to be a part of Carlos's life again and i’d prefer if his boyfriend and girlfriends don’t hate me


Mal: were a gang

Mal: this isn’t auradon


Diego: do you want the fish or not 


Mal: yeah dumbass