"I assume since you're wearing a ring that you must have a perky little wife at home," Herobrine says, draping himself over my nice, mahogany table. Link stares. I am uncomfortable.
"Do you even know my name?" I ask. I don't know these people. Why are they in my house.
"Don't need to know that to get into your sheets." Link continues to stare. Herobrine is here to do the sexy with me, but what is Link's purpose? Is he here only to stare into my soul, into the void, for eternity? Will he continue to do so the entirety of our frick-fracking?
"My name is Natural Harmonia Gropius, thank you for asking."
"I didn't," Herobrine replies, drawing me in for a kiss. It's annoying; obviously his first time, and very uncoordinated. Nevertheless, stopping would be too bothersome.
The door slams open and three pairs of feet walk towards us. "Hello dear, we're--oh my," my wife, Twilight Sparkle, greets. Ish.
Honey, our son, gasps in shock. "Traitor!!! UwU!!!" He pulls Usa-chan in close. "I won't let his sleazy ways get to you!!"
Herobrine looks at my wife. "Would you like to join as well?"
She stares us down. Seconds turn to minutes, feeling like hours. Sweat forms on my neck, a feeling of anticipation the longer she does so.
Link quickly grabs Honey, placing him on his back. "Wouldeth thou likest some cake, young sire?"
"Yayyy! Come on Usa-chan!!" And they yeeteth out the window.
A glance was shared between the three of us, then a smile before we headed towards the bedroom.