Yesterday had been something Izuku never even considered about. He went home after watching a hero fight, wanting to tell his mother all about it when he noticed that the door to their home was open. His mother never leaves the door open considering the kind of world they are living in. As such, he carefully made his way to the door but was he heard changed his world forever.
The two men were asking his mother to pay her debts to which she a bit hesitantly replied, asking for a bit more time. One of the men sighs, and asks her to pay timely otherwise it won’t be good for her and her son. Izuku ran as fast as he can to take cover when the men were leaving and stayed there silently for a while longer. His mother has debts. They had debts. And it made perfect sense, of course. His father was never there for them. His mother didn’t mention anything but he just somehow felt it. He doesn’t want them anymore. All of a sudden, he is back to those sleepless nights, spent mulling over whether it’s his fault. Because he is quirkless. He never asked his mother. It would break her. She was working as a nurse and it didn’t pay enough for all those All might merchandise he has. He realized it too late. He wonders if he could look at anything All might related without thinking about it after this.
All of a sudden his phone vibrates and it brings him out of his thoughts. It’s a message from his mother asking where he is. Now that he realizes, he has already been here for well over half an hour. He carefully makes his way over the door, greeting his mother with the mask he has perfected over the years, and she greets him back with her own mask which he never realized was there. Something can’t be unseen. She asks him about his day and he replies. He tells her about the hero fight he so but the excitement is no longer real. It’s just a fake mask now. She asks him to rest till the dinner is ready and he goes back to his room. There he takes his phone out to just browse something to get his mind away from all these thoughts. Though what he finds only furthers the topic in his brain.
The government has passed the quirkless assistance bill. In this day of quirks, the minority of them suffers a disadvantage and often discrimination. People hesitate in hiring them over those with quirks. As such, government has made a reservation for them in various jobs and education opportunities. Also, any family who has lost a quirkless member, especially in case of a quirkless child, the government will provide a handsome pension to their parents for lifetime and any other immediate dependent till they are self-sufficient.
Izuku can’t quite put his mind around all this. Is this the world’s way of pointing out what he should do? No, he isn’t this weak willed. He will become a hero no matter what anyone says and pull his family out of this debt. With his renewed determination, he goes down when his mother calls him for dinner. This time his smile is not so fake anymore.
Sorry my child. You CAN’T become a hero.
Although he is no longer in the hold of the sludge villain, Izuku feels that he can’t breathe. His own idol has broken his dreams beyond repair. He can’t hear what All might is saying anymore. All his efforts are being put in keeping himself together and not breaking down then and there.
With much effort, he thanks All might, takes the autographed notebook and leaves for the school.
Oi Deku. How dare you try to get in UA. If you know whats better for you, go look for some else school. You think you can be a hero? Dream on. Just take that fucking reservation the government is providing and go to a school for nerds or something. Or better yet, why don’t you just take a dive off the roof and hope to be born with a quirk in your next life.
Izuku can’t breathe even after Kacchan left him there on the floor and left with his lackeys. His brain keeps revolving around the words quirkess, can’t be a hero, useless, debt, quirkless assistance bill and finally dive.
He shrugged it off last night but can’t anymore. Those thoughts are crushing him under their weight more than any other time right now. Is this what the world really wants out of him? He didn’t pay attention yesterday so is this why the signs came on so strong today that he can’t even breathe? He doesn’t want to die, to leave his mom behind, but is him dying the only way to make everything workout again? It’s not the first time he asks this to himself. He has imagined many times his mom finding someone else after he isn’t there holding her back anymore. Finding happiness. But this time there is the factor of debt making his grip on his thoughts weaker. There is the denial received from All might. And lastly there is the solution laid out in front of him by his best friend of a time.
He didn’t notice how or when he reached the roof. He didn’t feel himself walking there. His mind is in total haze, unable to understand anything.
As he jumped, there is a single thought in his mind of, I’m sorry mom.
And then, there is nothing anymore.