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pennied wise the dancing bitch

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richie has added eddiebillstan, and 3 others to the group chat 'derry queens'

richie has changed eddie's nickname to m'eds

richie has changed bill's nickname to frat brough

richie has changed stan's nickname to stanos

richie has changed mike's nickname to mikey mike

richie has changed ben's nickname to ben handsome

richie has changed beverly's nickname to beveridge

richie has changed their nickname to dickard

beveridge: hello lgbt community

dickard: says the girl in the het relationship

beveridge: bitchard i'm going to kill you

ben handsome: You do realize that Bev is trans and neither of us are straight right

dickard: youre not wrong but liek

dickard: *like

m'eds: liek

frat brough: liek

stanos: Liek.

mikey mike: liek.

beveridge: liek

dickard: this is homophobia :(

ben handsome: Anyway hello LGBT community

mikey mike: hello pansexual king.

ben handsome: Pans unite

frat brough: mike aren't you bi

mikey mike: so? i'm displaying bi/pan solidarity

ben handsome: Yes

mikey mike: it doesn't have to be like this:
mikey mike: ben <3 mike
                            ^
                        billiam
mikey mike: when it can also be like this:
mikey mike: billiam <3 ben <3 mike
mikey mike: ben has two hands.

beveridge: one of those hands better be for me handsome

ben handsome: Ben has three hands

m'eds: ... that seems like a medical issue
m'eds: you should get that checked out

dickard: we get it youre a hypochondriac

m'eds: i will not hesitate to block you richard

dickard: you cant do that
dickard: you love me
dickard: binch

m'eds: i would leave you to rot if i could

beveridge: richie: breathes
beveridge: eddie: [troubledbird.jpg]

frat brough: sdiqwuthgdjghaskgh

stanos: That key smash is ugly but I'll allow it.

frat brough: shut up staniel you're the only troubled bird in this fucking chat
frat brough: didn't realize i had to submit my gay language for your approval

beveridge: SJKGHKJSLGHGH OH MYG OD

mikey mike: fucking destroyed.

ben handsome: Stanley Uris found dead in Miami

stanos: I don't see how that's an insult.
stanos: It's just the truth.
stanos: [clownbird.jpg]

m'eds: remember that shitty clown that georgie had at his birthday party 2 years ago

frat brough: i try to forget
frat brough: but thank you for reminding me of that eddie
frat brough: thank you for reminding me of the clown that almost ripped off my brother's arm

m'eds: oh yeah i forgot about that part
m'eds: if it's any consolation my arm got broken too after the damn clown came up behind me and i went through that table
m'eds: also it really wasn't anybody's fault except for pennywise's
m'eds: who the fuck leaves an open cotton candy machine around a child who has just turned 8 years old

beveridge: pennywise hates arms

mikey mike: it's pennied wise the dancing bitch.

dickard: I BEG YOUR FUCKIGN PARDON
dickard: YOU CANT JUST SAY THE FUNNIETS THING IVE EVE R READ LIEK THAT MICHOLAS

beveridge: SJKGHKJSGHJKSHGLKJSHGKJH MI K E

m'eds: jesus fucking christ

stanos: That's good.

ben handsome: Mike is officially the funniest member of our group

frat brough: agreed

beveridge: whoever ends up dating mike will undoubtedly be blessed

mikey mike: petition to add whoever i end up dating to this gc, and then change their nickname to "the funky bunch" so we can be mikey mike and the funky bunch.

frat brough: fucking sIGNED

stanos: You have 2 signatures, my friend.

beveridge: co-signed..... bc that's some real shit you just said

dickard: literally all of us meme-loving fucks are going to sign that petition you hilarious fuck

mikey mike: take some fucking notes, richie.
mikey mike: you may want to be a comedian, but if you want to be a *successful* one, you should follow me.

dickard: i have my cursor over the "kick" button
dickard: one click and youre done fucko

mikey mike: take the shot, richie.

dickard: ...i cant
dickard: youre just too sexy and handsome and gorgeous and beautiful and perfect and incredible

mikey mike: you're a coward, richie.
mikey mike: you always have been, and you always will be.

frat brough: damn you goofy.... you son of a bitch....

m'eds: what the fuck is going on here

ben handsome: I don't know, I'm just here to love and support my best friends and my girlfriend

beveridge: bold of you to assume that i love and support my friends in turn

dickard: what the fuck beverly

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frat brough: we all straight up ignored how richie can't spell beverage huh

beveridge: we sure did and i think that's very dumb but also sexy of us

dickard: I KNOW HOW TO SPELL BEVERAGE OKAY I JUST SPELLED IT WRONG FOR THE LOLS

ben handsome: Liek

dickard: I WONT HESITATE BITCH

ben handsome: You assume that I'm afraid of you
ben handsome: You stick-figure looking son of a gun
ben handsome: Could break in half if a hostile wind came through
ben handsome: You may even be a new subclass of twink: stick

dickard: thank you for attacking me in my own home benjamin
dickard: i should be used to this by now but every time it hurts :'(

m'eds: ok stick

dickard: shut UP TWINK

m'eds: beep beep richie

mikey mike: oh yeah. we started saying that when we were kids and just forgot about it, huh?

stanos: Yeah, didn't Mrs. Denbrough say that during Georgie's 8th birthday because you said "fuck" when Pennywise came up behind you and scared the hell out of you?

dickard: oh yeah

frat brough: yeah she really is a legend

beveridge: i'm assuming the reason why she did that is to censor your language
beveridge: or she was implying that if you curse again she will not hesitate to run you over with her automobile

frat brough: [whynotboth.png]

m'eds: we should bring that back

dickard: i see that richie oppression never stops huh :(

m'eds: we stop when you stop bastard

dickard: thats absolutely never going to happen
dickard: no offense to yall but im hilarious and you suck

m'eds: BEEP BEEP BITCH!!!!!!!

beveridge: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORxhR0worDM

dickard: [isuream.gif]

m'eds: mood

stanos: Big mood.

ben handsome: Stan did you just say big mood
ben handsome: Like an actual teenager

mikey mike: this is a momentous occasion.

stanos: Fuck you guys, I put down the veil of sophistication one (1) time...

frat brough: doesn't matter if you're actually a meme-loving fuck, you're still cute staniel

stanos: Shut up, Billiam.

frat brough: i will nEVER SHUT UP BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH YOU FUCK
frat brough: STANLEY URIS IS CUTE AS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beveridge: TEA

mikey mike: *smashes that mf'in retweet*

ben handsome: You are correct, Bill

m'eds: as a fellow gay like our man stan, i can confirm that he is, in fact, cute as hell

dickard: we been knew but okay

stanos: I will leave this group chat right now, I swear to God.

frat brough: do it, you won't

stanos has left the chat 'Derry Queens'

frat brough: WAIT NO I DIDN'T MEAN TO ACTUALLY DO IT

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beveridge: me and ben dating is bi/pan solidarity

ben handsome: You're right, Bev

mikey mike: me and bill being best friends is also bi/pan solidarity.

frat brough: hell yeah

dickard: eddie hating my fucking guts is homophobia

m'eds: I WILL END YOUR ENTIRE GODDAMN BLOODLINE TOZIER DON'T FUCKING MESS WITH ME
m'eds: ALSO I'M GAY TOO YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT

stanos: Stop flirting you guys, this is the GC.
stanos: If you want to keep flirting, go into DMs or something, you stupid disaster gays.

dickard: says the most disastrous gay we know

stanos: No, that award goes to Eddie for sure.

m'eds: ok first of all, fuck you stanley
m'eds: second of all, it's true but you shouldn't say it

dickard: hypochondria is the powerhouse of the twink

m'eds: ARE YOU PREPARED TO MEET GOD, TOZIER??????

dickard: ive already met you though eds

m'eds: SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! SH UT TTHE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beveridge: you'd be real smooth if you weren't so insufferable richard

dickard: thnx bev ily

beveridge: gay

dickard: b. bev
dickard: you are a womfn
dickard: *woman
dickard: loving u is the least gay thing i could possibly be doing

stanos: Womfn.

m'eds: womfn

beveridge: womfn

frat brough: womfn

ben handsome: Womfn

mikey mike: womfn.

dickard: i fucking hate this family

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smonk weeb ev'ry nite
2 members

richie: ok so do you wanna tell me why edward kaspbrak grabbed me by the shirt collar and pressed his nose against mine and made my glasses all fucking foggy and then didnt even kiss me

beverly: wait what when did this happen

richie: after lunch
richie: this motherfucker said "beep beep richie" and then grabbed my shirt collar
richie: and i just stared at him and he said "what youre not gonna say anything else now"
richie: "got all scared bc someone finally did smth about your trash mouth"

beverly: what the FUCK????????
beverly: when has edward kaspbrak ever been that goddamn assertive???????

richie: IDK DID IT HAPPEN OVER THE SUMMER OR SMTH???????????????????????? IM STILL IN SHOCK BEV

beverly: BITCH ME TOO THE FUCK
beverly: WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS HE ON

richie: i have no idea and im gay

beverly: mood

richie: like i knew i liked that anxietwink ever since we were like 11
richie: but then this bitch just straight up does THIS SHIT
richie: being all assertive when hes normally a fucking BABY
richie: and im just sitting here like
richie: End Me Thnx

beverly: YOU HAVE THE ENERGY OF THAT TINY GIRL BEING LIFTED BY A TALL GIRL IN HEELS

richie: what

beverly: [bigreddieenergy.jpg]

richie: what the fuck i love that

beverly: that's literally you @ eddie right now my gay

richie: YOURE NOT WRONG AND I WISH THAT YOU WERE

beverly: get fucking owned bitch

richie: im trying to
richie: get owned that is
richie: by eddie

beverly: that
beverly: that was implied

richie: okay i just wanted to make sure you knew

beverly: beep beep you dumb homosexual <3

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Derry Queens
7 members

dickard: google how do i tell if a guy is into me

beveridge: he's not

m'eds: he's not

stanos: He's not.

dickard: well fuck yall then :(

frat brough: richie you should just assume that a guy isn't into you because you're mean and also not funny

dickard: this is cyberbullying and i wont fucking stand for it

stanos: Anyway. Why do you need to know if a guy is into you, Richard?

dickard: pulling out the full first name
dickard: must be serious shit
dickard: well if you must know
dickard: STANLEY
dickard: its because im very into a guy and i want to see if hes also into me

ben handsome: Oohhhhh Richie's got a crush~

m'eds: who is it, do we know them personally
m'eds: i'm a terrible wingman but i know that bev is super good at that
m'eds: and honestly mike would be too

dickard: yes it is someone we know personally
dickard: edward

m'eds: why would you add my full name to that

dickard: stanley set the precedent and i want to follow through

frat brough: richie if the guy you're talking about is patrick hockstetter we can't be friends anymore i hope you understand that

dickard: ew no he looks like a rat

mikey mike: some may say that he's sexy in a rat kind of way.

dickard: MICHAEL YOU CANNOT JUST BE THE FUNNIEST PERSON IN THIS GC LIKE THIS
dickard: THAT COMMENT STOLE MY FUCKING KNEECAPS YOU ABSOLUTE WALNUT

frat brough: beep beep richie
frat brough: we're trying to help you out you insolent curtain rod of a man

dickard: ...
dickard: proceed

frat brough: do any of the rest of you guys have an idea who richie might be crushing on

stanos: Eddie.

m'eds: fucking pARDON ME???????

stanos: I thought it was obvious.

m'eds: stanley uris i don't know if you believe in an afterlife or not, but let it be known that someday soon, your dreams and fears will be confirmed

mikey mike: who allowed this absolute twink to lay down some of the rawest and most hard-hitting phrases in english literature?

m'eds: if you can't live at my level, you will perish at my feet

dickard: id perish at ur feet anyday eddie ;)

stanos: This is what I'm talking about.

ben handsome: Well, we don't know that he's specifically got a crush on Eddie
ben handsome: It could be Bill, or Stan, or Mike, or me, or someone else in our school

dickard: noah fence but i would rather die than have any romantic attraction to stan

stanos: I would also rather Richie die than be attracted to me.

dickard: :(

ben handsome: Okay, so it's not Stan
ben handsome: Is it me

dickard: no although you are the most handsome lad in the universe

beveridge: FUCKING RETWEETED

ben handsome: :)

dickard: i wouldnt dare ruin the relationship you two have
dickard: you are the most sickeningly sweet couple ever and yet somehow i never get tired of it

beveridge: was that
beveridge: a genuine compliment
beveridge: from a mister richard tozier?????????????

dickard: dont mention it or ill get rude and jokey again

beveridge: understandable have a nice day

ben handsome: Well, what about Mike or Bill

dickard: bill punched me that one time after i told him that i didnt wanna go searching for georgie when he got lost in the sewers
dickard: and you might be hot as hell william but i will never forgive you for laying a hand on my moneymaker

frat brough: your jaw became more accurate to your funds after i was through with you

dickard: how the fuck so

frat brough: both were (and, in the case of money, still are) broke

dickard: THIS IS WHY I CANT BE ATTRACTED TO BILL

mikey mike: and honestly, if you were attracted to me richie, i think all of us would know.
mikey mike: i'm a hot commodity.

dickard: true
dickard: alas cupid has not struck my heart with michaels arrow

m'eds: ok so it's someone else at our school

stanos: No, we don't know that yet. He didn't confirm or deny if it was you, Eddie.

m'eds: i think i speak for god himself when i say that we can safely put that in the deny column

dickard: ^
dickard: i might be a fucking flirt but im not into anxiety ridden, fast talking twinks

m'eds: shut up
m'eds: you wish you had a chance with me you future gas station attendant

dickard: jesus christ eddie

m'eds: i'm not into shitty voice actors that use humor to hide their own anxiety-ridden, fast-talking tendencies anyway

dickard: ...seeing as how ive been called out in my own home
dickard: im gonna head out

m'eds: wait, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to get so rude

dickard: well you did
dickard: and even if the guy i liked was you it isnt anymore so uh
dickard: suck my duck
dickard: *dick

beveridge: ...i'm too sad to even mock the fact that you said duck instead of dick