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An Adamantler Suitor

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Tony knew that Asgard had … different views on many things. He had come to learn that when Thor blew up his toaster and claimed it had attacked him first. Or when he threw a cup to the floor and yelled, “ANOTHER!”

It was fun. But it was also destructive and Tony was never quite sure when the next Armageddon would hit him or the Tower.

The other Avengers often laughed loudly at Thor’s antics, said they were cute and Natasha of course loved the tradition of drinking after a victorious battle until you fell asleep. The amount of Vodka and Martini she drank, it was horrifying. And impressive, actually.

Then, Thor introduced his brother Loki of Asgard to them – a snarky magician, all long legs, and sharp cheekbones in a finely chiselled face; there was a lot of sass and genius to be found in his beautiful brain too.

It was no wonder that Tony was in love. Well, he fell first in love but details. Who needed them anyway?

And as usual, what Tony Stark wanted, he got.

He flirted with Loki almost every second, even when he was asleep. Meaning, in Tony language, while he was in his workshop with Loki and took something apart to create something better, newer, and his brain started to shut off after 53 hours of no sleep and he started to talk bullshit - but he couldn’t allow himself to go to sleep just yet.

He had a man to seduce, that was his mission. “AND INVENTING TO DO,” his brain yelled and so Tony pushed through his sleepiness. His pick-up lines became worse by the minute and his twenty-year-old self would have cringed hearing them.

So really, after all that effort he’d put into his mission, he shouldn’t be surprised when Loki decided to take action.

What in Einstein’s name is this?” Tony asked and held up an antler that had been left on his bed.

“An antler.” Loki shot him a grin. 

Nooo, really?” Tony raised his brows and looked at Loki who sat there on his bed, looking quite proud of himself. “I can see that. The question is: why is there an antler on my bed?

“Oh,” Loki waved it off, “I just wished to express my desire to court you, Anthony Stark.” The smirk that landed on Loki’s face when he said that was dangerous. “You flirted with me for three weeks now and before you die because of blue balls, I thought I’d release you from this cruel stage and start the next one.”


Loki nodded. “As it is a tradition on Asgard.”

“I thought you were here to learn something new, not to bring something old from Asgard here.”

Loki laughed and walked forward. “It's the first gift, Anthony,” Oh and how his voice turned into a purr.

Tony swallowed dryly.

“It is supposed to represent the one who wishes to court the other. And seeing that my helmet-“

“- has horns.” Tony looked at the antler in his bed. “It’s a pretty antler, I have to give you that.”

“Thank you. It's from a Bilgesnipe.” Loki stalked closer. “Will you accept it and with it, my courtship?”

Tony let his eyes wander over Loki, slowly, appreciatively. “It would be stupid to have you slip through my fingers, wouldn’t it?”

“It would indeed,” Loki spoke and was only a few inches away from Tony’s face.

He could already feel his cool breath on his face and his eyes widened. He leant forward. “Then I better accept that gift, don’t I?”

Loki nodded firmly.

“But, Loki, next time, a smaller and maybe, a better gift, please? Like I don't know what to do with that.”

Loki chuckled. “Maybe. That one is not as pretty as it could be but I was in a hurry to propose a courting.” Loki smirked and came closer. “But I can think of a better gift right now.”

“You can?” Tony licked his lips, already knowing to where this would lead and his excitement rose and he leant forward. Their lips were only a hairsbreadth away and a small tip would suffice to have their lips meet in a kiss.

“Yes.” And with that, Loki leant forward, met his lips and –

It was perfect. Tony slung his arms around Loki’s neck and deepened the kiss. He noticed that the antler vanished from the bed, landed on the floor and the bed was all of sudden free for them.

“Courting?” Loki asked pantingly and pulled up Tony’s bothersome shirt.

“Courting,” Tony agreed, sat up and took off his shirt “You know on Earth we have a saying that one should try their products - No, wait, I forgot. But something about testing before buying.”

Loki bucked up beneath him. “You want to test me before you fully agree to this?”

“Yes,” Tony hissed and attacked Loki’s neck. “Always better. Compatibility and all that.”

“You’re right. Need to know whether a mortal fits a god.”

“Ego, much?”

“Sure. Otherwise, we would have a problem with fitting together.”

Tony bit down on Loki’s neck for that.

He yelled. “Did you just bite me?” His eyes gleamed darkly in the light.

“Of course.” Tony laughed. “You implied that I have a big ego. And although that is true, there are better words you can say to me in bed.”

Loki grinned. “I think we can skip the whole courting stage. We already fit together so well. And I really, really need to learn some Midgardian customs.”

Tony chuckled. “Well, do you know lube on Asgard?”