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(Not) Knowing

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"Lookin' good Billie!"

Stephanie immediately drags her attention away from Destinee, Luca, and Willow (and makes a mental note to make her take a break in the shade soon and re-apply her sunscreen, she's so pale), when she hears Heather's voice from nearby.

She almost admires Heather's ability to just.. say things like that. She's still careful of course, it wasn't loud enough for just anyone to hear (especially over the noise of a full public pool), and she wouldn't have if both of them weren't so close to where she's sunbathing.

She's not entirely sure if Heather knows about Billie, but she's pretty sure she does. Billie and Heather clicked immediately, much like she and Robin did, even though he teases her endlessly.

She reminds herself of that when she feels a slight nagging hint of... well. It's jealously, she's able to recognize that. And she doesn't like it, she doesn't want to feel like she has some claim over Billie. Like she owns her or something.

Billie's dealt with enough of that from her asshole of a father.

But this whole "not talking about this Thing with a capital T" thing they've got going on is getting to her. It's not that she needs to be in a relationship right now, she doesn't mind waiting.

It's that sometimes she's not sure they're on the same page. She's afraid of pushing but the uncertainty is there. The little voice whispering in the back of her head "maybe you're not good enough," is there. It's quieter than it used to be, but it's not gone.

And she's not entirely sure what to do about any of that.

Right as she's starting to truly mope, Billie looks over at her, sunglasses hiding her eyes, but for just a moment she smiles, really smiles. Not a little one, not a smirk, but a big, pretty, grin that shows off her slightly crooked teeth, and she brushes a few stray strands of her now very short blonde hair behind her ear.

And... Billie only ever smiles at her like that. Not at Heather, not at any of the kids (who are totally growing on her whether she'll admit it or not), just her.

And Billie always smirks or winks at Heather when she compliments her but she only ever compliments (...flirts?) with Stephanie.

She tells the little voice in her head to shut up and tucks it away in a corner of her mind.

It's to nice a day for it's bullshit.