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Jin has been dying to prank Jungkook back ever since the kid stole Jin’s suitcase while he was in the shower in New York, forcing him to run through the penthouse with a mere towel around his waist, blushing at the managers who had to watch him make a fool of himself.

 

They’re back in Korea now, all settled down from the stadium tour. They have a couple days to rest up and practice before the Festa, so everyone is taking advantage of it. Namjoon left the dorm hours ago with a blanket in tow, intentending to work in his studio and crash on his couch. The minute they’d stepped inside after months of being gone, Yoongi had booked it straight to his room and has been sleeping ever since. Jimin and Hoseok went out to eat some authentic Korean food and Tae had followed Yoongi’s footsteps and gone straight to bed. Jin could hear the automatic gun sounds coming from Jungkook’s room, meaning the man was catching up on his games.

 

It was the perfect opportunity to devise a plan of attack. He had a lot of ideas that weren’t actually plausible and some prank ideas that were too lame that even Jungkook wouldn’t approve of.

 

Jin runs a hand through his hair. It’s dry and straw like from the two dyes he’d put it through in the past month. He always loves how the colors turn out on him, but he-

 

Oh . Now that was an idea.

 

Jin hoists himself off of the couch and glides down the hallway, slippers slapping against the hardwood floors. He makes for his bathroom. They each have their own bathrooms in their rooms, which has become a godsend this past year because each of them have their own time lengths and preparations to get ready for important days.

 

Jin opens his medicine cabinet and four or five packets of hair dye stand out to him. He hasn’t opened some of them. He’d opened the purple one recently and he can almost smell the metallicy scent of the dye, the way it stings and burns on a deep inhale.

 

He looks good with purple. But what color would suit Jungkook best? If he had to wear the dye in his hair until it washed out, would Jin want to punish him with some awful color like yellow, or should he be nice and go for something a little more natural like an auburn red?

 

Jin flips through the packages imagining Jungkook’s long, shaggy hair dawning each of the colors. In the end, he settles for the red. It’s more rainbow red than auburn, but Jungkook’s put this color in his hair before so it won’t be anything too insane. Jin isn’t that much of a dick.

 

The prank has to match Jungkook’s prank. Sort of like an eye for an eye thing. If Jin hadn’t had a towel at his disposal back at the hotel all those months ago, well, then maybe he would have gone for the sunflower yellow.

 

Now the question is how the hell does he get Jungkook to leave his room so he can put the mixture in the youngest’s shampoo bottle?

 

Food? Food is always a good choice. Jungkook’s notorious for being drawn to the aroma of homemade food.

 

Jin settles on this plan. The kitchen is practically empty since they’ve been travelling for over a month. There’s a couple of non-perishables in the fridge and freezer, and a little bit more in the pantry. In the end, Jin decides to make pasta since the ingredients are about the only things they have on hand.

 

He sets about boiling the noodles and making the pasta sauce (mostly) from scratch. He chops the garlic into fine pieces and goes crazy with salt and pepper. He chops up some onions and throws the chunks into the sauce as well. 

 

When the noodles are done boiling, he runs cold water over them in the strainer and then dumps them into a massive serving bowl. He empties the contents of the sauce into another bowl and curses because he forgot that parmesan tops it and they don’t have any. Whatever. Jungkook’s not that picky when it comes to food.

 

Taehyung’s the first to arrive in the kitchen, one hand rubbing down the side of his sleepy face, scratching at the tiny whiskers lining his jaw. His eyes are mostly closed and he smacks his lips before yawning.

 

“Morning sleepyhead.”

 

“How long have I slept?”

 

Jin shrugs. “Three hours maybe.”

 

Tae groans and plops himself into one of their smooth, white minimalistic chairs. The table is sleek black, a stark contrast to the seating. 

 

“You come out for food and then you’ll go hibernate again?”

 

Tae nods. “I’m so hungry. I wanted to go with Jimin and Hobi hyung, but I knew I’d fall asleep at the table if I went.” He yawns again and squints out at the setting sun through the massive windows.

 

Jin sets a plate in front of Tae, as well as utensils. Everyone uses chopsticks for Italian style pasta, but Tae always opts for a fork to eat it the ‘proper’ way. Jin squeezes his shoulder.

 

“Well, you get to have my meal instead.” He frowns. “Although, I forgot that we don’t have parmesan so you’re shit out of luck there.”

 

Tae chuckles deeply, still sleep wrecked. “That’s alright. I don’t even notice when I put it on. I think people use it for an aesthetic.”

 

Jin chuckles. “Or else they shovel it on like Jungkook.”

 

Tae agrees emphatically. “By time he’s done you can’t even see the pasta sauce.”

 

They both crack up and that seems to be what lures Jungkook into the kitchen not even a minute later, inhaling excessively deep.

 

He lets out the breath with a little, “Yahhhh.” He adjusts his glasses on his face and smiles. “It smells good. What’d you make, hyung?”

 

“Pasta.” He shoves a plate into Jungkook’s hands. “Sit.”

 

Jungkook does as he’s told, sliding into a seat next to Tae. They share an exchange of looks as Jin brings the two bowls over. He places them in front of the guys and claps his hands together.

 

“This is basically all we have. If you’re still hungry after, you’ll have to eat some snacks.”

 

Jungkook licks his bottom lip and before Tae can reach for the spaghetti prongs, he snatches them up. Tae glares at him, lips tight. Jin watches with amusement at the youngest. He dishes up enough noodles to make a tiny mountain on his plate. While Tae takes his turn with the noodles, Jungkook dishes spoonfuls after spoonfuls of sauce to his mountain. Then he looks around.

 

“Where’s the cheese?”

 

“It would have gone bad.”

 

“We decided you’re on a diet.”

 

Tae and Jin look at each other and then crack up.

 

Jungkook sucks his teeth at Jin, eyeing him up and down. “I am not.” To make his point, he entwines a massive lump of noodles between his chopsticks and shoves it into his mouth. His cheeks puff out and Tae reaches over and pokes the side, making Jungkook cough.

 

Jin chuckles. “Tae’s right. Would have gone bad.” His heart flips. “So you guys enjoy. I’ll be back in a second. I have to use the bathroom.”

 

Jungkook waves him off with a hand, not even bothering to look up from his plate. 

 

Jin undoes his apron as he toes down the hallway, tossing the material into the laundry room as he passes it. He makes a quick stop in his room, snatching the red dye off his night stand before checking his surroundings and entering Jungkook’s.

 

His computer is still in game play mode, his character sort of bobbing up and down, gun facing the ground. His set up makes it look like a club, the lights on his speakers rotating from yellow to green to pink to purple to red to orange and back again. His room is also impeccably clean, Jin notes. He should take one from the kid’s book.

 

No time.

 

He makes for the bathroom and slides the glass door to the right as silently as he can. Jungkook’s shampoo bottle is half empty, which is perfect. Jin undoes the cap and sticks the tip of the mixture he’d previously made into the bottle and squeezes. 

 

When most of the mixture is in the bottle, Jin puts the cap back on and shakes it wildly. Then, he sets the bottle directly where it was with the label towards him and closes the glass door. He pads his way through the bedroom and back to his room, ridding the evidence in the trash beneath his sink. His work all done, he goes back to the kitchen.

 

Jungkook’s heap is nearly finished. Tae’s completely stopped, fork covered in noodles partway to his mouth. He’s watching Jungkook either in awe or disgust. The youngest keeps piling it in, lips stained red from the sauce. As he chews, he reaches for the noodle bowl and dishes more onto his plate. Tae’s eyebrow quirks up.

 

Jin snatches a plate off of the counter. He decides to save Tae from his fascination. “Yah, save some for me.”

 

Jungkook swallows a massive bite (they can hear it as it slides down his throat) and scoots the bowl closer to Jin.

 

When his mouth is clear, he says, “There’s plenty left. You took too long.”

 

“Don’t judge me.”

 

Jungkook holds his hands up in defeat. Tae huffs a laugh from his nose.

 

+++

 

The three of them save enough food for Yoongi when and if he decides to return to civilization. His sleep could last mere hours or longer than a day. There really is no certain way of telling.

 

They place leftovers in the fridge while Tae and Jin do the dishes. Jungkook watches them from a stool, bowl of ice cream in front of him.

 

“I think I’m going to shower and go to bed after this.” Jin throws the shower thing out there to see if maybe Jungkook will get the hint. He dries off the plate Tae hands him and stares at Jungkook through his eyelashes.

 

Tae nods. “I’m tired, too. I need to shower. I reek.”

 

Jin rolls his eyes. Somehow the guy constantly smells like fabric softener and flowers and heady cologne all at once every day, regardless of a shower or sweat or anything. It’s like it comes through his pores.

 

Jungkook catches Taehyung’s eye. “Yeah.” He shovels a spoonful of the mint ice cream in his mouth. “Yeah. I think I’ll take one, too. Planes give me a weird feeling on my skin.”

 

“Don’t they?” Jin says, although it’s more coy than actual sentiments. Planes do make him feel weird, but mostly it’s the air, not the germs.

 

Jungkook nods. “Maybe a bit later. I should finish my game.”

 

That means Jin can’t go to sleep, but whatever. He’ll wait.

 

Jungkook reaches down the bar and hands Tae his bowl to clean. Jin glares at him (the guy is perfectly capable of washing his own dish), but Jungkook just sticks his tongue out. Tae takes it without a word and scrubs the liquidy dairy out. Then he hands it to Jin and the man dries it.

 

When all is clean and the kitchen is spotless, Jin yawns. “I’ll go first.”

 

He waves off the two youngest as they thank him for dinner. He heads to his room and shuts the door behind him. When the deed is done, Jungkook will come barging into his room anyway, so there’s no need to spy. 

 

He’s true to his word. He turns on the shower and hops in, letting the warm water soak his aching body and pound deep into his scalp. He shampoos and conditions and then gets out. His nightly routine isn’t exactly pretentious, but there is quite a lot that goes into it. He brushes his teeth, washes his face once more, moisturizes it, puts a blackhead strip on his nose. He puts on chapstick and lotions his hands. Then he hops on his bed and pulls a dog eared book Namjoon suggested he read out from one of his drawers. He has a couple hours at most before Jungkook showers, so he might as well catch up on reading.

 

There’s a rustling sound from Jungkook’s room. It sounds like he’s changing the sheets. Jin looks up from his book and squints (as if that makes his ears open more), listening. The bed creaks and the sound of the mattress cover popping off a corner comes out muffled. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise Jin if the kid was changing his sheets. He was a germaphobe-to-be and his room was already flawless. Changing the sheets after a couple months away was probably a good idea. Dust and particles and who knows what else could get its way into the sheets and fibers.

 

Jin never changes his sheets. Whatever. If he can’t see visual evidence of something germy, he pretends like it isn’t there.

 

About twenty minutes go by after Jin hears the noises when the shower finally kicks on.

 

Jin grins.

 

The shower stays on much longer than Jin is used to Jungkook showering. Maybe it’s extra long because of the layers of work put into their concerts, or maybe it’s the feeling of their home water pressure. Whatever the case, Jin just hopes the kid doesn’t notice the colors seeping into the water below and staining his hands. At least not before he finally gets it spread all over.

 

The water turns off. Jin’s ready for the yell. He braces himself for it, even setting the book on his lap.

 

It never comes.

 

Odd.

 

Maybe it didn’t work?

 

Jin slinks out of bed and tiptoes to the door, quietly creaking it open. Jungkook’s door is shut and no sounds come from behind it. 

 

Is he okay?

 

Is he angry? Did it work?

 

Not wanting to disrupt him if he’s mad, Jin lightly runs back to his bed and snatches his phone.



Jin

Hey, I’m actually heading to bed

now. Jimin wants to know if you need

anything from the store before they

get home.

 

JK

No, I’m good. Thanks. Have a good night!


Well, the text was sprightly. He used an exclamation, which meant he wasn’t mad. Maybe it didn’t work. Maybe the water was too much for it to actually stick so it all just went down the drain. Maybe Jin didn’t mix it well enough and it sunk to the bottom or something.

 

Whatever the case, he’s actually exhausted and Jungkook isn’t biting, so he decides to go to bed. If Jungkook was holding it all in, he’d probably feel his wrath tomorrow via an even bigger and better prank.

 

+++

 

Jin wakes up around 9. He can’t hear anyone out in the kitchen. Usually there’s clanks and clangs when someone is. This morning, it’s eerily silent.

 

Jin throws his robe on and ties it as he leaves the room. He’s reminded of last night when he passes Jungkook’s door. It’s still completely closed. He hopes to God Jungkook isn’t mad at him. His text last night makes him believe otherwise, but maybe he was trying to cover up his anger.

 

Jin enters the kitchen and Jimin is at the table with a bowl of oatmeal and berries in front of him. His face is puffy, the skin bloated some over his already tiny eyes. He chews as he stares out the massive windows in front of him.

 

“Morning.” Jin opens a cupboard and pulls out a coffee mug. Jimin turns a bit and attempts a smile at Jin, but even his smile is puffy. It’s endearing. Jin grins. “Get enough sleep?”

 

Jimin shakes his head by way of answer and dishes some berries into his mouth. He chews, swallows and then says, “My body is on a different time schedule. I hate jet lag.” 

 

Jin agrees. Luckily, he seems to be doing okay this go around.

 

“At least you’re not like Yoongi. He’s going to look like hell when he wakes up. It’s already been 18 hours since he went down.”

 

Jimin widens his eyes, but barely. “Jeez.”

 

Jin starts the coffee pot and Jimin stands up and slouches as he drags his feet over to the fridge. He runs a hand through his greasy hair and opens it. “Hyung and I went and did some shopping last night before coming back. Got fruit and veggies and bread and milk and cheese and stuff.”

 

Jin looks at the parmesan cheese and cracks a smile.

 

“Thanks for doing that. Thought I’d have to order takeout for breakfast or get one of the managers to shop.”

 

Jimin grunts in response. “Well, you should get them to shop more. There’s not enough for seven. And we basically got stuff that we like. You have a more sophisticated pallet.”

 

Jin snorts and Jimin smiles. Jin asks if he wants coffee and Jimin nods. He makes the two of them coffee and they both sit at the table, Jimin finishing his oatmeal and Jin watching him behind his mug.

 

Twenty minutes later, Hobi comes out. He’s fresh for the morning, hair wet from a shower and smile on his face. He whistles when he walks in and greets the two men. Like a man on a mission, he plugs the toaster in and sets about making toast.

 

“I think Namjoon came home late last night,” Hobi says conversationally. “I’m pretty sure I heard him muttering something to Jungkook in the hallway last night.”

 

Jimin points. “I think I heard that, too. Why were they whispering so heavily?”

 

Jin perks up, intrigued. “What do you mean?”

 

Hobi scrunches his nose. “It was like... a deep and meaningful whisper conversation.”

 

Jin bites his cheek. “Did you hear what they were saying?”

 

Hobi shakes his head. “Walls too heavy.” His toast pops out of the toaster and he about has a heart attack, hand on his chest as his eyes bug out. Jimin giggles.

 

Jin’s a fairly light sleeper and he didn’t hear Namjoon come back. He shares walls with him on one side, too.

 

He takes out his phone.



Jin

You come home last night? Thought I

heard you come in.

 

NJ

No… I haven’t even

slept yet. Still at

studio.


Odd.

 

By time Hobi’s halfway through eating his toast and drinking orange juice, they hear feet practically dragging on the floor and a loud thump against the wall, as if someone staggered into it.

 

Yoongi appears in the doorway looking like he’s been hit by a truck. His hair stands every which way, eyes full closed, head tilted back with his mouth open because of his squinting. His clothes are severely disheveled, shorts skewed so much that the drawstrings rest at his right hip.

 

“I need food.” He takes a step forward and stumbles to the side. “Then I need more sleep.”

 

Hobi snorts into his orange juice. “You sure about that?”

 

Yoongi attempts a glare, but his face is already so closed from so much sleep.

 

“I can make you coffee,” Jimin says. His face has finally done him a solid and returned back to normal. Only two, small bags remain underneath his eyes. 

 

Yoongi nods, hair flapping, and then he falters over and takes a seat next to Jin, attempting to peek through one eye while he squints the other one.

 

“I can make you food, too,” Jimin suggests, starting Yoongi’s Keurig. There’s permanent marker written on the machine that has Yoongi’s name on it. It’s literally his and only his. Jin’s only ever seen him allow Hobi to use it once for hot water for his hot chocolate. That’s it.

 

Yoongi nods. “Bacon.”

 

Hobi snorts. “Does this look like a gourmet, ever replenishing kitchen to you?”

 

Yoongi kicks him under the table and Hobi retaliates by flicking the side of his head.

 

Jimin opens the fridge. “I can make you oatmeal or an omelette or seaweed soup or something. Toast? Oh! Hobi bought cereal.”

 

Hobi whines. “That’s my cereal!”

 

Jimin shoots him a glare and Hobi digresses with a pout, slouching back into his seat.

 

“Just toast. And an egg.” He smacks his lips together. “Do we have rice?”

 

Jimin nods.

 

“Rice and egg?” A pause. “Please?”

 

Jimin quirks a smile and sets to make Yoongi’s breakfast.

 

His breakfast is nearly done and smelling extremely delectable when Jungkook decides to join them. 

 

Jin’s eyes bug out when the youngest steps into the kitchen, yawning and rubbing his belly. His hair is a fierce red, only toned down by the black underneath. He doesn’t make eye contact with any of them as he reaches for a coffee mug. It’s unusual because they’re all staring at him, slack jawed.

 

“You dyed your hair,” Jimin points out, reaching his hand out to run it through the younger’s locks. Jungkook leans into the touch, but doesn’t respond right away.

 

He pours some coffee from the coffee pot and sips on it, eyes darting to Jin’s. Jin can feel heat pool into his ears. The younger’s glance is an obvious tell. He knows it was Jin. Why he isn’t slapping the eldest or calling him out or getting back at him is beyond Jin.

 

“Yeah, thought it might be fun since we have a couple days of break. I’ll dye it back to black before Festa.”

 

Jimin pouts. “Awe, I like this color.” He smiles widely at the younger. “You look cute.”

 

Jungkook rolls his eyes at him and goes to take a seat on the other side of Jin. Yoongi and Hobi are checking out his new look, Hobi amused and Yoongi confused. Jin stares at him with wide eyes, fearing what Jungkook will say or do to him. 

 

He instantly regrets and hates pranks. Vows he’ll never do them again. 

 

When Hobi and Yoongi are in a fairly deep conversation about some new drama they both like and Jimin is busy frying Yoongi’s egg, Jungkook leans in close to Jin.

 

“I have to tell you something.”

 

Jin’s heart flutters. What could it be? Jungkook’s voice doesn’t sound menacing, nor does it sound sad. Worried, maybe? Does the dye have something that he’s allergic to? Oh, God. Jin didn’t think this through.

 

“I’m sorry,” Jin blurts out silently. “I thought it’d be a fun prank. I’m sorry if I made you mad. I didn’t think it would go that far.”

 

Jungkook scrunches his eyebrows together. He’s confused. Jin searches his gaze for any sign of anger, but Jungkook just seems jittery and weird.

 

“I’m not mad,” Jungkook finally responds, sipping his coffee. His leg bounces up and down under the table. “It was a bomb ass prank. If it was any other circumstance, I’d laugh.”

 

Now it’s Jin’s turn to be confused. What did he mean? Any other circumstance? Did he have a solo show to do or something? A meeting with someone important? But if he did, he’d be mad at Jin.

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I have to tell you something.” Jungkook leans even closer, nearing Jin’s ear. “I-”

 

“Oh!”

 

They both bounce back at Hobi’s loud voice. Jimin looks up from plating Yoongi’s breakfast and Yoongi snorts. 

 

Tae steps into the kitchen and instead of avoiding eye contact like Jungkook, he pretty much looks at everyone. He’s already dressed for the day, a fitted t-shirt and black jeans on. He’s also got on a pair of his fake glasses that always seem to rile up fans.

 

But no, that’s not what everyone’s looking at.

 

Tae’s hair is a vibrant red. Fire truck red. Complete match with Jungkook.

 

“Oh, cute!” Jimin hugs Tae from behind, hooking his chin on Tae’s shoulder. “You and Jungkookie dyed your hair together. Twins!”

 

Except the dye is Jin’s dye.

 

One packet.

 

And he’d made sure it all went in Jungkook’s shampoo.

 

And they each have their own bathroom.

 

And Jungkook and Tae don’t pass around shampoo like they’re in dire need of it. 

 

In fact, Tae has a special shampoo his hairdresser suggested he use because his hair is so fine.

 

One shower.

 

One shampoo bottle.

 

Rustling sheet.

 

OH.

 

Jin does a full body blush, his heart nearly pounding out of his chest. He’s staring straight at Taehyung, unmoving. Jimin’s still cooing at his ear about his hair, Yoongi’s breakfast going cold on the counter next to him. Hobi’s musing about some sort of video the two of them could make that ARMY would like. Yoongi’s staring at his breakfast, clearly indifferent to the dye and mostly hungry. And Jungkook, well, Jin can feel the youngest’s eyes bore down on him; can almost feel a hole cutting him in half from the gaze.

 

Tae catches his attention and his eyes widen. A plea. He knows Jin knows and he’s begging Jin not to say shit.

 

Jin nods.

 

It’s all he has to do for Tae to visibly relax, Jimin’s head sinking with the weight off his shoulders.

 

“Jimin, food.” Yoongi’s pouting and that brings Jimin right back to the task at hand, always a sucker for cute things and, specifically, for Yoongi’s attention.

 

Jin finally turns to Jungkook, though he’s not sure they can talk because it feels like he swallowed sandpaper.

 

Jungkook has his tongue in his cheek. He sighs and bring his lips inward before pursing them. Then he sighs.

 

“Three months.”

 

“What?”

 

“Tae and I have been together for three months. We’re not ready to tell people yet.”

 

Jin nods fiercely. He didn’t even want to know this secret in the first place, let alone hear it.

 

“We showered separately,” Jungkook adds, red climbing up his neck and to his ears. He looks into his coffee like it’ll devour him and take him away.

 

Jin leans into him, their shoulders touching. “First of all, it’s cute. You guys are cute.” 

 

Jungkook perks up at this.

 

“Secondly, I’m sorry. I just wanted to prank you, not expose you.”

 

Jungkook tells him it’s okay.

 

“Third, you two showered together because if one of you had showered first, you would have caught the color in time for the other to not get in.”

 

Jungkook’s flush rises and stains his cheeks.

 

“So I call bullshit. Lesson being don’t have shower sex.”

 

Jungkook chokes on his spit and Jin takes a little satisfaction even though he also doesn’t want to dive headfirst into Jungkook’s sexual escapades. Or Taehyung’s for that matter. Both of theirs. Weird.

 

“We didn’t!” Jungkook exclaims and it’s a little too loud. Everyone’s attention turns to him and he cowers back in his coffee cup.

 

“Didn’t what?” Yoongi asks, egg dangling from his mouth.

 

Jin clears his throat. “Practice. For the Festa yet.”

 

Yoongi groans and leans back in his seat so that his head dangles over the floor. “I don’t want to.”

 

Hobi pokes his belly. “You’ll be fine. Get another 18 hours of sleep and you’ll be ready to go.”

 

Taehyung takes a seat next to Jungkook and leans across the table towards Jin. “Thank you.”

 

Jin gives him a thumbs up.

 

“Jin said no shower sex.”

 

Tae smirks and stares Jin right in the eyes. “But that’s my favorite.”

 

Jin takes his turn to choke, but instead of spit, he has coffee in his mouth. It splatters across the table. Taehyung leans back, arms crossed over his chest, smug. Jungkook’s still teeming with red, but he giggles at Jin.

 

Jimin sets a spoon on the table a little too loudly, everyone’s attention switching from the twins to Jimin. “So,” he says, “what are we going to do today?

 

+++

 

Jin’s been living with Tae and Jungkook’s secret for two months. It’s actually, in some respects, been kind of fun. He likes knowing something the other guys don’t. Sometimes they’ll have a moment on stage and the guys will comment on how cute it is and move on, but Jin knows it’s real. 

 

Sometimes ARMY will point out the chemistry on Twitter and be like TAEKOOK LIVES and Jin wants to comment, “No, you’re really not wrong.”

 

He’s good at keeping secrets too. It doesn’t threaten to slip out. Even in deep, meaningful conversations with Namjoon or bullshitting with Yoongi, he’s able to keep his mouth shut about the two. 

 

However, he is starting to grow weary at the fact that the two aren’t sure when they’ll tell everyone. Jin knows the guys will accept them. He isn’t sure what’s holding them back. Maybe they’re looking for the perfect way to tell them.

 

The answer of how they come out to the guys comes in the form of a group text, and, upon his immediate reading of the text, he realizes it’s a mistake.


JK

Closet next to boys bathroom

come fuck me,

i already prepped

i need it baby

 

Jin’s heart immediately flops and he races to tell Jungkook it’s in the group chat, but before he can even get to their private chat, the group chat blows up.

 

HOPE

OH 

My god. JK?

 

YOONGI

Wow, okay, never imagined

JK uttering words like that

before

 

JIN

JK…

 

HOPE

OML was he supposed to

be texting Jin?

 

JIN

NO!

 

TAE

Oof.

 

JIMIN

*suddenly is hard*

 

YOONGI

Jesus you wish

 

JIMIN

Ha, of course I wish! 

Those are some sexy,

scandelous things coming

from our youngest

 

NJ

I… am lost. And would like

to know what the hell is going

on…

 

HOPE

You and me both.


Meanwhile, Jungkook blows up Jin’s phone. Text after text after text so fast Jin barely reads one before another shows.

 

JK

OMFG

What do i do?

Hyung?

Oh god im embarrased

Is tae with you?

He hasn’t texted me back

Shit i fucked up

Oh my god, everyone knows i 

like to bottom

Oh shit jin

Help me

Please

Fuck i’m so embarrassed

I want to crawl in a hole and die

Is tae with you, jin?

I need to know where tae is

I’m not leaving this fucking closet

 

Jin

Looks like you’re going to 

have to, pal. I’ll go find tae.

He’s probably with a  stylist.

 

JK

Fuck

Fuck

Okay

Text me

I’m not leaving yet


Jin heaves himself off the couch to go find Tae. Hobi and Yoongi are at hair right now, Namjoon’s off listening to music and getting prepared and Jimin, last he saw, was going to the bathroom.

 

So Tae must be with the makeup stylists, right?

 

Jin heads for that room and thankfully finds Tae.

 

He’s staring straight into the mirror while the stylist dabs foundation on him. Jin sneaks up to him and sits down in the chair by them.

 

“You mad at JK?” Jin whispers.

 

Tae furrows his brow. “No, of course not. I couldn’t be mad at him. I actually got a good laugh out of it.”

 

Jin relaxes. “Well, JK’s scared and worried because you’re not texting him back.”

 

Tae flinches and the stylist glares. He looks at Jin via the mirror. “I couldn’t text back because I had to get ready and I accidentally left my phone on the couch. Text him for me.”

 

A horde of Jungkook’s messages are in the notification bar of the phone. Jin shows Tae and he giggles.

 

“Oh my God, he’s so cute. Worrying for no reason.”

 

“I mean, it’s not for no reason.”

 

Tae waves him off. “We had to tell them one way or another. Instead of easing them into the idea, we’ll go full throttle. I prefer that method anyway. Worked for you.”

 

Jin blushes and Tae snorts.

 

Jin texts JK but on his own phone.

 

JIN

Tae fine. Didn’t have his phone.

In makeup.

Thinks you’re cute.

Isn’t mad at all.

Prefers them to find out this

way rather than ease them.

 

JK

Oh thank fuck

So long as he’s not mad

That’s all that matters

to me.

 

JIN

He’s good. I can’t believe I’m texting

this but the stylist left so Tae wants 

me to tell you he can’t make it rn

but that at least you’ll be… ready, for

...later. Jesus, what am i writing.

He says longer you wait, better it

will be

Oh my god never have me do this again

There’s so much i want to remain

oblivious of

 

JK

Tell Tae i’ll make him

beg for it ;)

 

JIN

JUNGKOOK! Jesus christ, i’m done with

this conversation forever and always


Jin goes to check the group chat out of curiosity.

 

NJ

No, seriously like… what’s going on?

 

JIMIN

Jungkookie’s getting laid is

what’s going on

 

YOONGI

And it’s our business how, JK?

 

JK

It was an accident!!! GOD

LEAVE ME ALONE

 

JIMIN

Awe, he’s embarrassed

 

JIN

Guys, put yourself in his shoes

 

JIMIN

Kind of wish i was, sounds nice

 

YOONGI

Jesus, has this become a porn chat

or what?

 

HOPE

Yoongi’s red.

 

YOONGI

I’m not!

 

TAE

I’m back! No one’s getting to

the root of the problem

Who was JK talking about?

 

JIN

 

NJ

One of us? He did go to

the group chat.

 

HOPE

Maybe it was an accident?

 

JIMIN

Who from our group would he be

fucking?

 

YOONGI

You?

 

JIMIN

As aforementioned, i wish.

 

JK

Jesus christ i want to die

 

JIMIN

He wouldn’t handle my needs tho

only specific people know what

I like

 

NJ

When did this become about your needs?

 

HOPE

Yeah, poor JK’s needs still aren’t 

even fullfilled… i think…

 

JK

I have never wished for death so much

 

YOONGI

Mm and what are those needs?

 

TAE

I think it’s Hobi


Jin cracks up from the sofa. This little shit wants to start rumors. He’s down.


HOPE

Me?? WHY?

 

TAE

He likes to get in your lap

 

HOPE

That doesn’t mean he wants it

IN HIM!!

 

JIN

Oh my god

 

JK

I don’t ever want to look any

of you in the face again

 

JIMIN

Maybe it’s a girl?

 

YOONGI

He literally said he prepped

himself

 

JIMIN

There’s such things that can

go there without there

being an actual dick

 

YOONGI

Cuz a female would lug 

a strap on backstage

just so she can fuck

a very submissive JK

in a closet.

Seems fake, but ok

 

JK

JESUS NO

 

JIN

Gotta be a lad, fellas

 

TAE

Maybe it’s jin. JK does like

to philander off to his room

a lot

 

HOPE

 

NJ

Jin’s with me half the time

and he barely talks about JK

with me

 

JK

Wow, thanks hyung, glad to know

how special i am

 

TAE

Suspicious

 

JIMIN

Could be NJ

 

NJ

Do tell

 

JIMIN

He had a crush on you

when he first joined

bts.

even told me about it.

He likes your voice.

Which comes from your mouth

which might be good for 

things…

 

NJ

Jimin jesus if we’re talking

mouths, how about yoongi?

Apparently, he’s good with

it if his lyrics boast 

anything about it

 

JIMIN

It’s not yoongi

but you’re not wrong.

 

NJ

What

 

HOPE

What

 

JIN

What

 

TAE

What

 

JK

What

 

YOONGI

This is about JK

 

JIMIN

You were getting jealous of

JK so i decided brag about

you too hehehe

 

JIN

And… is this from experience,

or?

 

JIMIN

He does this thing where

he-

Oops.

sent that before

I could finish

 

NJ

In fact, dont finish

 

HOPE

There’s so much information

 

JK

No tell me evyerthing i need

all the detals

 

TAE

Don’t try to get off the hook

JK

 

YOONGI

Jesus christ jimin

 

JK

Now you know how i feel!

 

YOONGI

At least he’s owning his dirty

remarks

 

JK

Don’t be wishy washy hyung!

 

HOPE

Okay, but wait, so if jimin and 

Yoongi are… supposedly

doing stuff… that leaves

NJ, Jin, and Tae

 

NJ

And you.

 

HOPE

I guess and me but it’s not me

So.

 

NJ

And not me. I like someone else.

 

TAE

Could be a staff?

 

JIMIN

It’s sejin

 

JK

Absolutely not

 

TAE

Oh my god it absolutely is

 

NJ

I can’t even imagine those

personalities clashing

 

JIMIN

Could you imagine

Other things clashing?

 

JK

JESUSCHRISTJIMIN

 

HOPE

Other staffs aren’t really

around us comfortably

that much. Unless jk

likes to meet them secretly

 

JK

You guys know me. I eat, sleep,

play games and sing

No time

 

JIN

Who’s namjoon’s crush? I think

I’d believe him more if i 

knew he wasn’t letting on

to try to veer us away from

him.

 

NJ

It’s a secret

 

YOONGI

Apparently there’s no

fucking secrets today

Anyone got a secret?

Drop it into the convo

because apparently 

that’s what we're doing'

today

 

JIMIN

He’s being pouty

 

HOPE

He really is it’s hysterical

 

NJ

Well, it’s my own secret so

 

JIN

It’s that you like to top JK

 

NJ

Fucking hell no

And if i was with jk

I'd ask him to top

I’m too lazy

 

TAE

Ohhhh wowwww this is getting 

spicy

 

NJ

But jin, your excuses have been

pretty invalid

 

JIN

My excuse is that i’m not because

I’m not

 

NJ

Mm. this makes me inclined to

believe you

 

JIMIN

Are we going to ignore the fact

NJ said he’d be a bottom

 

YOONGI

Yes

 

JIMIN

Awe, bottoms looking out

for bottoms

 

HOPE

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SHOWERED

WITH SO MUCH INFORMATION

BEFORE IN MY LIFE

Yoongi’s dying i think

He made a noise akin to

a cow

And he’s currently on the floor

 

TAE

So narrowed down to me, NJ and Jin, huh

 

HOPE

Tae… you’ve been very vocal

 

TAE

Have i?

 

HOPE

Yes…

 

TAE

Mysterious

 

JIMIN

Tae…

 

YOONGI

He’s not fighitng hard

like we did

 

NJ

Tae… aren’t you supposed to

be meeting with JK in the closet

 

JK

Jesus

 

TAE

Who says i’m not there right now?

 

JIN

Is it out?

 

TAE

I mean it goes in and out, like

 

JIN

JESUS NO I MEANT IS THE SECRET

OUT FOR FUCKS SAKE OH MY GOD

 

JIMIN

Secret? Jin?

 

JK

I guess it is

 

TAE

I mean, i basically jsut told 

you what i’m up to rn, but

 

YOONGI

Knew it

 

JIMIN

Oh you did not

I did tho

 

HOPE

You didn’t. You thought it was

everyone at one point

 

JIMIN

So did you!

 

HOPE

I never suggested i knew!

 

NJ

Okay, but aside from all this

we love you guys, ok

and, i guess yoongi and jimin

too since everyone’s deciding

to come out today

 

JIN

I knew

 

JIMIN

You did not

 

TAE

Actually he did lol

 

HOPE

What?

 

JIN

I knew.

 

NJ

How?

 

JIN

Remember the red hair?

I was pranking jk and put

red dye in his shampoo

next day, both of them came

out with red hair

one shower, one shampoo

I mean, there’s a conclusion

one draws

 

JIMIN

Holy shit this is amazing

I told tae it was cute

and he was having shower

sex hours before

 

JIN

Yes, yes you did

 

JIMIN

Shit. i’m astounded. Wow

I cant wait till we all

look in each other’s eyes

after the performance and

know everyone’s deepest and

darkest secrets

 

YOONGI

No. we’re avoiding eye contact

for the rest of the year

 

JIMIN

So i take you from behind then?

 

NJ

*suddenly really turned on

by jimin’s sexting*

 

JIN

*suddenly interested in

Jimin’s sex life*

 

JK

Yes, keep up with his

sex life not mine

 

YOONGI

Did you finish?

 

JK

YOONGI WTF DUDE

 

JIMIN

Oof. that’s hot.

 

JK

I don’t want to be a part

of this

 

JIN

NJ who you crushing onnnn

 

HOPE

Yes share your feelies

 

JIN

Hope, who are you crushing on?

 

HOPE

I prefer many

the masses

all of the peoples 

 

NJ

What that mean

 

HOPE

Not one person

Many

At a time or just

day to day

I'm a ho for people, bro

 

YOONGI

Oh. that’s…

 

HOPE

I like fun

not one person

can't tie me down

 

TAE

I dig it

 

JIMIN

Orgy

 

HOPE

Sometimes

 

JIMIN

That’s hot

 

YOONGI

Jesus christ

What isn’t hot to you jimin?

 

NJ

When does he even find

the time? When does he go?

 

JIMIN

Sometimes he doesn’t come

home. i thought he was

at studio

 

HOPE

:ppppppp

 

NJ

I like jin

 

TAE

OH

 

JIMIN

whoomp there it is

 

YOONGI

Are we surprised?

 

HOPE

Ehehehehe he finally said it

 

JK

Via text tho…

 

NJ

Shit

Fuck

Does it matter?

Shit

Jin

Sorry

I didn’t know thru

txt was bad

 

JIN

Namjoon

Chill

Lol

I can see you in the hallway

You’re going to bust

a nut lol

I like you too

Like it wasn’t fucking

obvious all of tour

 

JIMIN

You may now kiss the groom

 

NJ

Oh thank fuck

Actually im done texting

Ill come talk to you

 

YOONGI

actually you wont

we go on in three

head for the stage

 

+++

 

Jin’s never been so amused by seven guys sitting in one car, silent, eyes looking anywhere but each other. Three couples hold hands but don’t speak. One man smirks to himself as he looks out the window. They all know he likes orgies.

 

Jungkook and Tae fucked in a closet an hour ago.

 

Jimin, the so often called ‘bottom’ according to shipping fans, gives it to Yoongi. The older man’s stony face would tell you otherwise.

 

Namjoon likes him. But he hasn’t spoken one word to him. Just hopped in the car and held his hand.

 

It’s all really fucking hilarious.

 

Everything is pretty evident after today’s turn of events. There’s no more secrets amongst friends and they all live in a fucking whorehouse.