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Be Still My Beating Heart

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Jisung knew he couldn't keep running away from his 'Little' problem for any longer. He knew that some day soon he'd get confronted by Chan to make up with Seungmin so they could tell the whole group about his situation and not keep them in the dark any longer, but he couldn't help it, he couldn't help wanting to run away from them.

At first he had been so happy to have someone that could take care of him, to love and accept this hidden part of himself, but then he started to fear the unknown that came from it. If the members did find out, would they still accept him? Would they still see him as their friend and member Jisung, or would they see this weirdo who likes to act like a kid sometimes because it helps him de-stress?

That's what ate away at him if he thought about the meeting they'd inevitably have once he made up with Seungmin about the Day6 fiasco. The thoughts were frequent the first week it had happened, but it's been almost two months now and they only made their ugly heads known when Jisung was by himself and left alone with his thoughts. So he started keeping a pen and some paper on his person to write down lyrics because then the thoughts wouldn't show up anymore.

It was finally going great for Jisung. He hadn't been filled with any anxiety that week and he had been slowly getting ready to apologize to Seungmin when he had overheard Chan and Woojin talking one morning in the kitchen.

"Hyunjin's a little?" Woojin asked sounding pretty surprised.

"Yeah, he is." Chan confirmed and Jisung felt his heart lurch and his eyes sting. Another Little? That's something he should be happy about, but it made him feel bad for some reason. 

He didn't realize what he was doing anymore, he had gone out of his room for a reason, but after hearing that Jisung didn't feel like being out there any longer. He hadn't even realized he had entered someone's room until he felt them shoving their elbows into his ribs.

"Jisung what the Hell? I'm still trying to sleep." Seungmin grumbled as he tried to push Jisung off so he could sleep. But instead of continuing to push until Jisung finally left he stopped once he heard him whimper. Opening his eyes and trying to get them to focus on what was going on he saw that Jisung was crying.

"I'm-I'm so sorry. Sorry for being a j-jerk and rubbing th-the Day6 thing when things wo-would get better between us. I'm sorry for-for pushing you away." Jisung apologized.

Seungmin felt himself tense up, it was way too early to be dealing with this. And while a part of him wanted to push Jisung away so he'd get a taste of his own medicine, there was something that told him not to.

"Apology accepted." He instead said, because that was the only thing that was nice and made sense to say to a crying member.

Jisung choked out a soft cry before he cuddled into Seungmin, the younger letting him do it. After a few seconds Seungmin started to pat his back, hoping it would calm him down, which thankfully it did. Jisung only cried for two minutes before he released himself to wipe away his tears.

"Do you want to talk about it or are you going to cry again?" Seungmin asked. Jisung visibly tensed, sitting up and looking around the room. The only person out was Chan, so Hyunjin and Minho were still there with Seungmin, both of them still (luckily) sleeping in their beds.

"Lets go to my room." Jisung said, jumping out of the bed and dragging Seungmin with him. The younger boy made soft protesting sounds, but it was evident in his hurry that Jisung wouldn't stop.

"Jeongin, out. Go to Seungmin's bed, me and him have to talk." Jisung said once the two entered the room. The sleepy Jeongin said nothing as he got up, eyes still half way shut, before making his way out and to Seungmin's bed.

Seungmin himself let out a huff in annoyance before sitting down on Jeongin's abandoned bed.

"This better be good for you to have given my bed away." Seungmin grumbled, arms crossed as he watched Jisung move and stack some plushies in front of the door. He had no idea why the (slightly) older boy was doing that, but Seungmin couldn't be too bothered to care or ask.

"I wasn't planning on telling you this so soon, but the whole Day6 thing was an accident." Jisung said once he ran out of plushie to put in front of the door. 

Seungmin scoffed. "This is early? I'd hate to see what you consider late."

"I-" Jisung started to say, but cut himself off. He'd have to calm down and start from the beginning if he wanted for this to make sense. 

So he got up, sat down in front of Seungmin on the ground, took a deep breath, and began from the beginning. He explained how he had this thing to help de-stress, called Little space and would explain at the end what it was. How Jae-sunbaenim found him one night with Young K-sunbaenim in his studio. How he didn't want that to happen again but things happened and he was stressed once again and all he wanted was his stuffie acorn, but then Jae and Young K found him in their studio now and all they wanted was to comfort him, but they also knew Chan would be better help because he knew Chan better than he did with them and what happened two months (plus some) would definitely never ever happen again and he was so so sorry once again for being such a jerk and he'd understand if he didn't want to be friends again because he deserved it if he was being honest.

Seungmin didn't say anything once Jisung stopped his rambling, just let him get a hold of his breath before he exploded. 

"That's...a lot. Especially since it's so early." Seungmin said after a few minutes of silence. 

"Yeah, it is, I'm-"

"Don't say sorry again, you apologized enough." Seungmin stopped Jisung from apologizing. It seemed like he was going to apologize for his excessive apologizing, but a pointed look stopped him from doing so. 

They were quiet again before Jisung spoke up again.

"Do you want me to explain Little Space now?"

Seungmin shook his head. "You've talked enough already, let's just eat some breakfast and I'll look it up later. If I have questions I'll ask, ok?"

Jisung nodded his head, "Ok."

Seungmin smiled a little before getting up to exit the room. He was going to just knock the plushie tower down because he couldn't be bothered to pick them up and put them away, but Jisung seemed like he didn't want that to happen if his shout of horror was anything to go by.

"No! Don't hurt them." 

Seungmin sighed. "They won't get hurt, they aren't real so they can't feel anything."

Jisung pouted in anger and oh, how Seungmin wished he had his phone so he could take a picture to show the others and clown him about it, but sadly his phone was back in his room.

"They are real, and they'll hate you if you hurt them or are a meanie to them." Jisung said, seeming to believe his words. Seungmin groaned, knowing that if he stood his ground on plushies not being alive then Jisung would stand his ground on them being alive and they'd get absolutely nowhere. 

So he scooped up as many as he could before placing them on Jisung's bed.

"Is that better?" He asked. Jisung thought for a minute before turning his head a bit, eyebrows furrowed and pout still on his lips.

"You could be more gentle, but it's okay for now." Jisung said, shuffling to get the remaining plushies on the ground and putting them with the rest.

Seungmin ran a hand through his hair, looking to the high heavens and asking to make it through the day without actually slapping a member before he walked out of the room to eat breakfast.

Once there the two oldest members smiled at him as if they knew what had just happened before looking away and continuing to make breakfast. Seungmin shook his head, sitting down at the dining table and tried to get more sleep before he felt someone shove something underneath his arm. Lifting his head he noticed it was his phone and an annoyed Minho dragged his feet to the living room to probably sledo on the couch. 

Soon a soft ding emitted from his phone and the screen lit up with a new text message.

Squirrel Boy

Just to let u know, we might be having a meeting sometime to let the others know about… the thing

 

Puppy Boy  

great 🙃