“You think you can blame me? I do whatever the fuck I want. You can leave if you want... but you never will. Because you need me. Who else would make love to you? You’re disgusting. I can have sex with whoever I want. You can’t stop me.”
It was painful.
Getting home to find Ugetsu looking at him with an ugly smile on his face while he got fucked by other men.
Or waiting weeks before he could spend some time with him, not knowing what he was up to.
Kaji couldn’t take this anymore.
And yet... who else would accept him? His black, shiny horns against his smooth hair, his long, black tail.
He hadn't learn how to hide them when he was excited.
Ugetsu was the only one to know. He had found out he was an incubus short after they had started dating.
Ugetsu was driving him insane.
Ugetsu had spent weeks ignoring Kaji when he was home.
And more far away, in some place in Europe - France? Italy? Kaji wasn't sure.
And yet Ugetsu had texted him, saying that he had made a reservation for two in an onsen in fucking Okinawa – Kaji had never been there, never could afford it – for Kaji’s birthday.
That had made his heart skip a beat, hopeful that maybe things were getting better after more than two months without seeing each other.
He had found a text just the day before the trip.
“Busy. I’ll make up for it next time”
He had called him three times before Ugetsu had finally picked up.
“What is it? I told you I’m busy” His tone was cold, and he could hear someone speaking in the background but couldn’t understand the words.
“I read your note. SO?”
“I’m busy. We’ll travel some other time”
“Busy with what?!” Kaji wanted to ask ‘with who?’ but he bit his lip not to.
“I’M BUSY! LEAVE ME ALONE!”
“I ASKED FOR THE WEEK END OFF AT WORK...” Kaji tried to calm his nerves. “Do- do you have to cover for someone for a concert?” He felt disgusted by his own hopeful tone. ‘He’s with someone. Of course he is. I’m really this stupid?’
“What?”Ugetsu actually laughed. And that hurt more then any punch. “Yeah. That’s it”
Kaji could see the mocking smile Ugetsu must have had on his face in that moment, naked in someone else’s bed.
Kaji knew Ugetsu too well not to know that hat was a lie.
“You can go with someone else since you have days off. It would be a waste”
Kaji felt his eyes burn with tears. He wished Ugetsu wasn’t able to notice from the other side.
“How can you be okay with that?”
“Like someone else would touch that disgusting body of yours”
“I know this is sudden but... Do you want to go to an onsen in Okinawa with me?”
Haruki was in Okinawa with Kaji.
This was a fucking dream and he would have killed whoever dared to wake him up.
They had spent the whole day on the beach.
He had seen Kaji wearing a speedo.
(and he had just seen the outline of his junk, sure, but if he was like that when soft, then oh man...)
He had put sunscreen on that smooth skin.
He had been allowed to wander his hands everywhere – almost everywhere - on that glorious body.
He was the luckiest man alive.
Well... the second luckiest man.
He would never understand Ugetsu.
And seeing Kaji suffer because of him.... made him sad and angry.
“What happened between you two?”
He had ignored the subject but now they where alone in the onsen – a private onsen, for fuck sake! This was either for yakuza or rich people, or rich yakuza... okay. It was obviously a romantic reservation.
He hoped after a whole day spent having fun Kaji would open up to him.
Kaji’s face was red from the heat of the bath. H
e sighed and leaned his head on a rock.
“Do we really need to talk about that?”
“Well, I’m happy you invited me of course, but I know I’m not the first choice”
Man, that sounded lame even to his ears.
But that didn’t matter since Kaji fainted and almost dropped down the water.
Haruki caught him on time.
“I...I need to get out of here...”
Haruki managed to get him out with difficulty, and he put him down the futon.
“What’s happening?” Kaji was burning up.
He took his head in his arms, crunching down.
“Get out... please”
“I... I don’t want you to see me like this!”
Kaji knew that heat... his heart was beating faster, his breath was short.
“Haruki... You need to get out of here...ugh”
“I’ll call the ambulance, what is it? I’m going to call someone...”
Kaji could feel his horns growing, he put his hands over his head to hide them.
“I- I’ll be fine. I know that this is. It’s not the first time”
It wasn’t exactly true
. He had felt this need before, but it had never been this strong... he tried to think when was the last time he had sex. ... fuck.
His father hadn’t been really helpful in his instructions... he had just told him that once he started having sex, he was going to need it.
“When you feel the need to have sex, have it. For us is as important as water or food, but it’s not a big deal either. With time you’ll be able to hide your tail and horns as well, but you’ll need practice. Just don’t stay too long without...”
“Are you saying then we risk to die if we don’t have sex for too long, or what? I need to know”
“Well, I know it sounds a bit extreme, but, well... For you, finding partners won’t be hard”
“Fuck! I don’t know what I can do to you if you stay with me... I...”Kaji said, trying to let Haruki go.
Even if he needed sex, he didn’t want to rape Haruki. Or anyone else.
He didn’t want to hurt anyone.
“Kaji, what’s happening to you?!” Haruki was crying. He had his phone in his hand and was looking more and more confused.
Kaji felt a rush of heat trough his whole body and he threw himself over Haruki.
“Kaji?! What are you-?!” He blocked his hands with his and kissed him fiercely while he pressed his erection against Haruki’s crotch.
He felt Haruki freeze under him but he ignored that.
“AH, no.. Kaji!”
Kaji showed Haruki’s towel away, the only little fabric between their naked bodies. His soft, warm skin against his, his damp hair... his intoxicating smell... “Please, don’t...Kaji!!!”
Haruki tried to push him away and Kaji regained his reason.
He met eyes with Haruki – he was crying, he looked scared.
Kaji immediately stood up and jumped to the farthest corner in the room.
His tail was swirling nervously at the edge of his vision.
He had fully transformed without noticing.
His panic grew but he was also confused.
Haruki hadn’t escaped and was staring at him.
“I’m sorry Haruki! Run!”
“I... I need some kind of explanation... and I said I won’t leave you like this!”
“DON’T YOU SEE THIS FUCKING TAIL AND HORNS?!”
“y-yeah, definitely, sometimes they appear when you sleep but... I don’t know what you are?”
Kaji couldn’t believe what he had just heard.
“YOU... have seen them already? And you hadn’t beheaded me in my sleep? Or run away?”
“Well, the first time I thought I was drunk, sure... but you didn’t do anything strange, you just kept sleeping soundly... and, I wanted to ask you something about it, but it was a pretty awkward thing to bring up so...”
“I’m an incubus...” Kaji said, “ and I’ve never felt this horny in my life. I need to have sex with someone”
“It’s been too long, and... my body needs it. Craves it. Even if I’ll do it alone, it won’t be enough. Please, just get out before I hurt you. I’m sorry for what I just did to you”
He felt like crying.
He didn’t want for Haruki to ever find out his true nature.
He was prepared to see him scream and run away. He blocked his legs with his tail to stop himself from following him.
He didn’t know what he could do to him.
“I won’t leave you alone, Kaji” Haruki walked slowly towards him and hugged him.
His cool skin, his sweet scent... everything was so tempting...
“Haruki, I’m sorry”
It was Haruki that kissed him first.
Haruki that guided him to the futon and made him sit.
Maybe it was because of the relief, but Kaji felt his head clear a little
. His senses were sharper but he didn’t feel the same desperation as before.
They kissed, and Kaji licked, bit and covered Haruki’s pearly skin in hitches.
He thought of Murata... he was doing the same thing he hated from him.
He was as despicable as him.
He would soil Haruki...
“You’ll regret this, Haruki”
“Maybe... but I love you Kaji. You won't scare me away"
Kaji didn't reply to that, he hid his face and suck Haruki off.
He felt he didn't deserve those kind words but he couldn't stop the happiness they brought.
Haruki moaned softly as Kaji opened him up with his fingers.
Kaji wanted to be gentle but the urge was too strong... once he had tasted Haruki's hot release in his mouth, he wanted more and more.
He fucked him until he couldn't think anymore.
The last thing he remembered, just before falling asleep in Haruki's arms, was the felling of Haruki's calloused fingers through his hair. When his fingers found one of his horns, the touch didn't shy away.