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ninety-nine

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“do you think hyunjin’s hot?” jisung had asked suddenly from where he was hunched over the container of chicken that he and felix were sharing on the practise room floor.

felix paused his chewing and looked over at the boy, an eyebrow raised, “what? i mean, doesn’t everybody?” he answered slowly.

the australian boy had only been in the company for a few months at this point, and he and jisung had only just started to get close, so he was more than a little taken aback by such a question. 

jisung shook his head and sighed, “no, i mean- like, personally. y’know?” he met felix’s eyes and tilted his head, making sure that he understood what he was saying.

felix hummed a little as he really thought about it, and he supposed that the taller boy was rather attractive. he was super friendly and feelsy too, which felix appreciated a whole bunch. he was also a great dancer, despite what the other trainees gossiped about, not amazing yet, but felix could see the improvement with each day that passed.

“yes? i think i’d like him if i was into guys,” saying that outloud was unexpectedly embarrassing, so he shoved a piece of chicken into his mouth to distract himself.

“wait, you’re not?” jisung said with an incredibly confused expression. felix frowned at him. did he give off a vibe?

“are you?” felix questioned, putting his chopsticks down on a dirty napkin and leaning closer to the boy next to him.

“i mean, i thought it was obvious? i’ve never hid my sexuality from anyone. i thought you were the same, you’re really flirty.” felix was confused as to how he was supposed to know that jisung liked guys just because he didn’t hide it, did he have a shit gaydar? was he even gay? what does liking a guy even look like? hold on, he was flirty?

“i can literally see the way you’re thinking so hard,” jisung chuckled a little, “i’m bi, if you wanted to know specifics.” felix actually did want to know specifics, so thank you very much.

“i didn’t know i came across as flirty and that i liked guys.” the boy leaned back on his hands and stretched his legs out in front of him, “i haven’t actually had a crush on anyone before, so i’ve never really paid attention to what i like. i just assumed i was straight because apparently that’s the default.” the last part was said with a little sarcasm, to show that he didn’t agree with the outlook.

“you’re so cool.” jisung sighed almost dreamily, “i crush on everyone i talk to, i think i just developed one on you.” he playfully placed a hand over his heart, making felix laugh.

even though jisung was most likely joking around, it still flattered the australian boy. “if you keep saying things like that, maybe you’ll be my first.”

“see? you’re super flirty!” jisung exclaimed excitedly, “you use that tone and you say those things to everyone!”

jisung was right, felix realised as he thought back to every conversation that he’s ever had with his peers. he should really have a good examine of himself when he goes home that night, there’s a lot to unpack. oh, right, “so, do you think hyunjin’s hot?”

if jisung had been drinking water at that moment, it would have been sprayed all over felix. “as if! wait- well, yeah, but god , he’s so fucking annoying. like, we’re friends, but lately i just can’t stand him. he’s so hot but one thousand times more annoying. he drives me crazy, completely crazy.”

felix laughed louder the more jisung went on. it was amusing, the way jisung sounded conflicted by his own words. “kinda sounds like you wanna bone him,” jisungs eyes went wide, and then he was on top of felix, and the back of felix’s head was pounding from hitting the ground so hard.

“that’s the worst thing you’ve ever said! and that’s saying something, you’re an australian teenager!” jisung yelled, hitting his closed fists against the other boy’s chest.

“i’m sorry! you gave me a concussion, get off!” felix yelled back, groaning yet laughing at the same time. 

just then, the door opened and chan was walking in, followed by a bunch of trainees dressed in their comfy dance gear, “what do we have here, then? this is a public space, you freaks.” chan teased playfully, shrugging his backpack off and gently setting it down against the wall. the others chuckled, a few making suggestive whistles and eyebrow wiggles.

“that’s kinda hot, actually.” felix looked over just in time to see chan slap hyunjin on the shoulder. of course hyunjin would say that in this situation in particular.

“it’s not like that, guys, i was actually attempting murder.” jisung announced as he stood up off of felix and collected their food rubbish, walking over to the bin before realising there was still one piece of chicken left, “who wants the last-”

before the boy could even get his words out, hyunjin was already snatching the piece and smiling widely, tauntingly at jisung. felix laughed to himself as he watched jisung roll his eyes and the other stick his tongue out before devouring the chicken in one bite. so that’s what jisung meant.

“alright, everyone start stretching, you know how the teacher is.” chan said, everyone immediately spreading out around the practise room, some pairing up to help each other. felix really admired his natural leadership.

 

it was only a month later when felix was running up behind jisung to settle by his side as they walked together, “i’ve done a lot of thinking and researching and- shit, ” he should have taken a moment to catch his breath before speaking, “you were right.”

jisung laughed and offered felix his water bottle, bringing a hand up to pat at his back as well, “that’s great news!”

felix chuckled slightly, swallowing the water, “about me liking guys,” jisung gasped dramatically, “boys are hot.”

“of course they are.” they passed a vocal coach as they exited the building and hoped to god he didn’t hear them, “also, research? what, porn?” jisung bumped his shoulder into felix, making him stumble and push him back.

“kind of, that shit is so hard to find in this country, i had to make a private twitter account for it. i can’t believe i’m using twitter as my jack off site,” the boy shook his head, “but anyway, that, and the way i like practising with hyunjin one on one. ever since we talked that time, i’m like, super aware of myself.”

“don’t tell me you like hyunjin.” jisung groaned, clearly not into that idea.

“then… i won’t? when we dance together he compliments me so much and he gets so touchy and, oh my god , he smells so good when he’s sweaty- in the least weird way possible.” the words flow out of the boy’s mouth with such ease, as if he’s been dying to tell someone for ages. he kind of has.

“nah, i get that, he’s got a really attractive natural scent.” jisung admitted, scratching at the back of his neck.

felix also confirmed that he was into guys because of the way jisung makes him feel, but he wasn’t sure if he should say anything about that part. “the point of telling you this is that you’re the one who made me, like, open my eyes? to the world of being attracted to people?” he felt shy all of a sudden, “so thank you for that, it feels good to not just coast along each day and instead actually feel my feelings. the good tummy fluttery ones, not just the depressing, soul crushing ones of not being good enough that i feel every second of my life.” he inwardly facepalmed at his overshare, and he really needed to study korean more diligently, it took a lot out of him to find the right words. 

jisung cooed and swung an arm around the other boy’s shoulder, making kissy lips at him, in which felix didn’t try very hard to move away from. “you’re welcome, my sweet baby who is amazing and talented and good enough! what can i say? my gaydar is never wrong, never.” he then squinted a little and clicked his tongue, “well, except for this one girl back in malaysia. she was my friend’s older sister and i totally thought she was a lesbian, but then she got pregnant by the most manliest man i’ve ever seen. it blew my mind, seriously.” the both of them stepped into the convenience store and jisung beelined straight for the drinks whereas felix grabbed a triangle kimbap and ate it immediately, signalling to the cashier that he was, in fact, going to pay for it.

on their way back to the company, jisung held felix’s hand the entire way, not letting go until they had to part for different classes.

 

some time after their debut, felix was in the back of one of the vans with hyunjin on their way home after an extremely exhausting day of filming for variety shows. the boy could feel hyunjin looking at him, just watching him, he wanted to just ignore him to see how long he’d do it for, but he became too curious.

“what?” he turned to look at the boy and was a little surprised by the way he didn’t react at all. felix was about to pout and turn away, but hyunjin reached over to rest his hand on his thigh, leaning his head against his shoulder.

“do you like jisung?” he all but whispered, wanting to only be heard by felix, whose heart sped up slightly. “don’t pretend not to know how i mean it.”

was he obvious? and if he was, did that mean he was obvious about liking hyunjin as well? that’s embarrassing. “i feel like if you’re asking me, you already know the answer.”

this made hyunjin giggle, moving his hand along the boy’s thigh, “was just seeing if you would dare lie to me,” felix breathed out a laugh and nudged him so gently that it felt more like he was just leaning into him. “i think you like someone else too.”

okay, so he definitely knows. felix wanted to scream. “seems like you’re smarter than we all thought, huh?”

it fell silent after that, no one talking, no real confirmation on whether hyunjin was talking about himself. it stayed that way for weeks.

 

when felix thought about his situation, he was weirded out by the fact that he wasn’t weirded out by it. he went his whole life without having a crush on anyone and then all of a sudden he realised he liked boys an incredible amount, and then realised he exclusively liked two of his best friends and didn’t think twice about any other hot person he saw. which was a lot, he was an idol for christ’s sake. it was weird, but it felt right.

and on top of that, he had a sneaking suspicion that both of the two said best friends knew exactly how he felt.

he wasn’t one to completely hide his feelings, but he knew that people could get the wrong idea if they found out he liked one guy and then saw him messing around with another, so he tried his best to at least keep his feelings in check.

there wasn’t much to say about jisung and hyunjin on that front, the two of them were constantly flirting and teasing felix. each other, too, which felix liked a normal amount, he swore. you could say that he was just very pleased that they got over their frenemy phase. very much so pleased.

he knew what this could be, ‘a polyamorous relationship’ chan had explained to him one night after the older had called him into his room, saying that he just wanted to talk. it had been clear that he was expecting felix to be in some kind of emotional distraught, an i like this person, oh god but i also like this person! what do i do! type situation, but he quickly realised that wasn’t the case when felix just nodded casually and said: “makes sense.” 

it was funny to think back on, the way chan’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he clapped his hands together once and flusteredly laughed, trying to make it seem like he didn’t have a whole your feelings are valid speech practised and ready to go.

he just wished he could gauge if hyunjin and jisung genuinely liked him back, or each other, or if they were just messing with him. and if he could do that without actually having to ask outright, that would be cool.

 

“what’s up babes, can i sleep with you tonight?” jisung said, faux sleaze dripping from his tone of voice and the way he slowly, without permission, closed the lid of hyunjin’s laptop and replaced it with himself on top of felix’s legs.

hyunjin and felix had been in chan’s bed for the last hour or so, watching a drama that hyunjin was super into on his laptop that was placed lazily on the younger’s thighs. they chose chan’s bed because it was the easiest, wasn’t a top or bottom bunk so it was just easier and comfier, and the older never seemed to mind as long as there was no crumbs left it in. the youngest was between hyunjin’s legs, leaning back against his front, playing with the boy’s fingers or sometimes bringing a hand up to play with the hair at the back of his neck, hyunjin’s unoccupied hand absentmindedly running along felix’s side. 

“we were literally watching that, idiot.” hyunjin whined, but moved his hands to grab at the boy’s knees from where they rested at his side.

“too bad, i wanna have some fun,” jisung said dismissively, his palms subtly finding their way underneath felix’s t-shirt. “i feel restless.”

felix could tell, “what kind?” he asked, hoping it sounded more casual and less like he was asking something specific, which he absolutely was.

“mm, the kind that feels good?” jisung tilted his head cutely, a cheeky look in his eyes. felix felt, more than heard, hyunjin laugh from behind him, and then his face was nuzzling into his neck and felix’s whole body went hot.

“don’t, ji, you’ll scare him,” the oldest teased. “he’ll run away.”

felix had so many questions, so many feelings, and he had no idea why he felt challenged by that comment. “i won’t.” the words came out a little too breathy for his liking.

jisung took felix’s hands in his own and interlaced their fingers, leaning into the younger. he knew it wasn’t, but to felix it felt more like a roll of his hips, and his mind went into a kind of overdrive.

hyunjin’s arms circled completely around the boy’s waist, squeezing a little, “you’ve already got his heart pounding, cute.” 

this flipped a switch in felix, he wanted to make their hearts pound, he wanted them to feel like how he was feeling, so he silently cheered himself on and got right to it.

“i’ve got something fun in mind,” he let go of jisung’s hands and brought one of his own up to pull at hyunjin’s hair, and then he turned his head to face the older, his lips parting against his jaw. he paused for a moment before he thought fuck it and bit him, just a light graze of his teeth but a bite nontheless.

he turned back to jisung and smirked, finding amusement in the way his eyes had grown round, he then used his other hand to grab the boy’s shirt and pull him in close, making a point to look at his lips before pulling him in the rest of the way until the very last second, in which he bypassed the obvious and instead moved so that his mouth was against jisung’s ear, “winning.” he whispered loudly.

and then he was pushing jisung off him and making his way out of the room, “super smash, best of three.” he looked back at the bed, at a blushing jisung and a hyunjin who was very clearly trying not to laugh, “or are you both cowards?”

felix won all 3 games.

 

“are you, hyunjin and jisung dating?” seungmin asked felix one day backstage at a music show as the two were trying to find the vending machine with the best coffee. “i used to think you and jisung were, ages ago, but then i saw how you were with hyunjin and i thought something bad was going on, but then i saw them together and it kinda clicked. you three act like more than just friends, not to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

felix knew this conversation was going to come up, especially with the way the three had been acting since that night they played super smash bros. it was all push and pull, almost but not quite. it was fun, and it made felix realise that they liked each other an equal amount… it’s just that it was never spoken about directly, which was the least fun part. 

“i’m not uncomfortable,” he looked at his feet and blushed a little, “we’re, well, it’s like- this is going to sound dumb and cheesy but it’s like we’re at ninety-nine percent, you know? we’re not dating but we kind of act like we are? and it’s obvious we all feel the same but-” felix’s arms were flying, giving him the illusion that he was doing a good job of explaining himself, “no one ever talks about it? so it’s just, like, kinda like a permanent game of chicken? no one wants to break and ask, in case it's not what it seems or something… at least that’s what i feel.”

seungmin spots the vending machine down a hallway and grabs felix’s wrist, since he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going. “that seems tiring, though. it sounds like you can’t do what you actually really want to do, like clearly you’ve not kissed? surely if someone spoke up about it you’d all finally be able to actually be together.”

the two got to work on buying nine bottles of coffee on top of a few extra random drinks, just in case. “exactly. i just don’t want to be the one.”

“neither do they, by the looks of it. shit, ” the younger almost dropped his armload, causing felix to giggle, “maybe i’ll talk to them too, is that okay?”

felix smiled appreciatively, he’s always liked how respectful seungmin was. “if you want. i don’t know if it’ll do anything, though, i think we all share the same dumb braincell.”

he hoped it would. felix would love to finally have a boyfriend, have two boyfriends. he wanted to be with them so badly. the game they were playing was fun and exciting, but he wanted the real thing. he wanted to be allowed to be direct. they did enough dancing as it is, he was tired.

when they got back to the waiting room, seungmin smiled to himself as he watched felix make his way to where hyunjin was cuddling jisung on the floor and wrap himself around hyunjin, jisung reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers.

 

“i’m in love with your hands, so tiny yet they make me feel so good.” hyunjin moaned from where he was beneath felix, facedown and shirtless on the living room couch, felix’s hands moving expertly against his skin.

“can you two, like, try not to make everything you do sound sexual? this is a shared area.” minho groaned, emerging from the kitchen and taking a sip from his fresh cup of tea. he took his phone out of his back pocket before sitting down on the floor, not even sparing the other two a glance.

“but you’ve never felt felix’s hands like this, hyung, it may as well be a sexual experience.” at this, felix pressed down extra hard into the larger boy’s traps, causing him to make an incredibly not-safe-for-ever sound. felix could feel how pink his cheeks must’ve looked.

the youngest boy looked down at minho and chuckled at the scowl that increased in drama with each sound emitted from hyunjin’s mouth. soon enough, he got up in a huff and stormed down the hallway with his tea and yelled: “jisung, do something about your boyfriends! teenagers-” the rest was cut off by the bedroom door slamming.

felix couldn’t for the life of him get control over the feelings that sprouted within him each time someone referred to the three as boyfriends. it happened so often and yet his tummy insisted on fluttering every single time.

“god, fuck , what did i do to deserve these hands?” hyunjin fake cried, causing felix to roll his eyes. he was about to reply with some snarky comment, but jisung walked in and got to it before he could.

“just think about all the other things they could do, huh lix?” he climbed onto the couch behind felix and immediately got to work on the boy’s shoulders, which felix was super grateful about. “i bet you could make him feel good in plenty of other ways.”

“maybe, but i don’t think he deserves those privileges.” felix teased, working his hands up to the hair at the back of the larger boy’s neck, scrunching his fingers and tugging a little.

“did- hnn, did seungmin talk to you guys?” hyunjin asked, voice breathy, “‘cause if he did, i think we need to take his advice because i don’t think i can control myself much longer.”

hyunjin started to push himself up, felix and jisung quickly moving off his legs, but still sitting in the same position. holy shit, was this finally happening? were they about to get to one hundred percent? felix didn’t know what to do with his hands. “i’m tired of this dumb game of eternal blue-balling, seriously.” hyunjin continued, jisung snorted and hooked his chin over felix’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him when he leaned back against him.

“i can’t believe the day has finally come.” jisung sighed dreamily.

felix’s slight fear of being on the wrong page slowly crept into mind, “just to be clear, we’re talking about the fact they we’re into each other, right?” god, that was stupid.

the two boys smiled adoringly at this, chuckling and making sounds of confirmation, “it’s cute that you think there could be literally anything else that we would be talking about right now.” the small boy behind him hummed.

felix giggled himself, “just making sure.” the three of them fell into silence, none of them wanting to actually start up the real conversation and get into details, and it was driving felix mad.

“can we- if we’re not gonna actually talk about it, can we just agree that we’re moving past the phase in our lives where we aren’t boyfriends? like i- why is this so embarrassing-- i want to kiss… and things.” felix rushed out, his cheeks burning as he squeezed his eyes shut.

“you’re so fucking cute,” he heard hyunjin say from much closer than he was when the boy’s eyes were open, and then he was simply being kissed. he completely malfunctioned, not expecting it to happen so soon. he’d been so used to running away at the last second that it fried his brain to actually go through with it.

it wasn’t even the kind of kiss that should pull such a reaction, it was soft and short and it translated to finally, it was nice and over way too soon, but then he opened his eyes to hyunjin kissing jisung right next to his face. this made his fingertips prickle and an embarrassing squeak to fall from his mouth.

hyunjin pulled away, sitting back against the armrest and just smiled at the two, and then jisung’s face was pressed into the curve of felix’s neck and he was pressing warm, soft pecks to his skin. he made a trail all the way up to his cheek, felix leaning into him and giggling slightly at how it tickled. jisung started to giggle as well, then he got up on his knees and was twisting felix’s body so that he had full access to the younger’s face. he went to town, seriously, kissing him anywhere and everywhere, his lips included.

felix was a giggly mess, he must’ve looked pretty ridiculous, “are you tr-trying to give me a kiss for every freckle or what?” saying this was a complete mistake, both jisung and hyunjin gasping and immediately smothering him, pushing him down onto his back and pressing kisses against his skin, almost as if they would die if they stopped for just one second.

he would have said that it was too much, but as he lay there, squirming beneath the two boys he liked more than anyone else, he realised that this was the best feeling in the world.

“no way!” an excited voice came from the hallway, it was seungmin’s. “i didn’t think you guys would actually take my advice!” 

and then there was another, “fucking hell. does this mean they’re actually boyfriends now?” minho whined, stomping his way into the kitchen to clean his mug, “can we make some rules? chan! we need to have a meeting!”

the three boys on the couch were thrown into a fit of giggles and collapsed onto each other, then there was yelling and footsteps, and then the three were groaning as a fourth weight fell on top of them, seungmin wiggling and messing up their hair, excited and happy that he was actually listened to.

after a moment, felix could barely breathe, he tried his best to get this information across, but no one looked like they were getting up anytime soon, so the australian boy just admitted defeat, and accepted that he might die of suffocation. at least it was at the hands, or rather, bodies of his hot boyfriends. and seungmin.