Spinel was having another-one of her episodes again. It happened often ever since she has been staying on Earth.
Her main routine was to go to the beach, and listen to the waves. She liked to imagine that she was the big, bad waves crashing down all of her weight, stress and pain on the sand that she liked to imagine was the prodigy of thus all. Pink Diamond.
One day she would be happy. Laughing with the other gems in the temple, cracking jokes, and enjoying being on Earth. The next day, it’d come back in a punch that was being packed for ages. The emotions, the memories, the pain…
So there Spinel sat, on the beach, with her head buried in her knees, quietly sobbing to herself. Not too far away from the ocean, but far back enough so that she didn’t get wet.
She wondered… gazing up at the free, twinkling stars… each one of the stars had a purpose. They were beautiful, brighter than anything she’d seen in her life. She wondered what she had done wrong. What did she do to deserve this?
If a ball of gas, light and few other things, way up in the sky was created for one meaningful reason…
Why wasn’t she?
They had the entire sky to themselves… no tears, no doubts. No worries, no memories and most of all… no heartache.
She felt happy for the stars though, and she hasn’t realized she was slowly starting to softly smile. At least they could live a long, meaningful life.
She knew the beautiful ways of Earth wouldn’t even be floating in the sky by time one of the thousands stars began to die.
Saying it out loud made her cringe a bit, because she didn’t want to seem selfish and self-centered. She would just keep finding reasons to blame herself, spiraling deeper, and deeper down her endless vortex of emotional pain.
She was starting to get so familiar with this, it was like she was in was in a different world when she was sad. It was starting to feel familiar, and like a routine the things she’d cry about.
She felt trapped inside her own body. Her body she couldn’t escape, and she was just falling deeper down into herself and there was no way to get out.
“No, no, no…” she shook her head, trying her best to clear her mind.
Suddenly, Spinel felt a soft hand on her arm, causing her to lift her head and her blood-shot, magenta eyes fluttered to display.
The hand belonged to Steven who was standing tall before her with concern showing on his features. When Steven met her gaze, he could see… no, feel the pain just by looking at her.
His heart broke at the sight of his usually enthusiastic pink-friend so broken. He knew she would go through it sometimes, but this was actually his first time catching her in the middle of it.
Steven decided to take a seat beside Spinel and stayed silent for a bit before speaking up.
He didn’t want to disturb her, but he had a deep desire in his heart to console her… to make her feel better. He would do just about anything to see her smile right now...
“Spinel…” he finally spoke up, Spinel perking up at the quiet voice calling her name.
Her curious, but broken gaze snapped his heart right in half,
He shuddered, making eye-contact with the gem beside him.
“You don’t have to go through this alone.” He said, this time around his voice didn’t crack. It was strong- and he sounded so sure that his previous statement was true.
Spinel blinked, dryly chuckling as if that were true. Maybe it was, but she couldn’t see it. In her mind, it wasn’t true.
“Stev-en.. nothing you say. Nothing you d-do…” she felt her eyes beginning to sting as she spoke on. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she listened to her broken voice.
“You- can’t fix it… you can’t fix me..” she spoke on, this time a single tear rolled from her cheeks, burying her face back into her knees.
“Not me…and n-not my problems…”
Steven couldn’t take it… seeing her this depressed was emotionally draining. He felt horrible. She sounded so sure that there was no way. She was positive there wasn’t a way to be fixed. It broke his heart, and shattered it to a million pieces.
“You may think that now, but you’re going to get better.”
Spinel perked up once again, hearing his voice trying to console her once again…
She met his gaze again, getting lost in his confidence. Did she deserve to be happy? Was there really a happy ending for her?
“It’s okay to be sad, Spinel. You have to face the pain in order to get over it,” he sounded as if he spoke from experience, which he did.
“Even though you’re in a horrible, dark place now, there’s… there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.” He said before gently intertwining his fingers with her own.
Spinel was a bit surprised by this and looked quickly at their intertwined hands and back up into his gaze.
By now, the sky was a deep shade of blue, in which the stars could be their best, bright selves. Spinel found it quite calming.
‘Maybe there is hope. Maybe I do have another chance.’
Spinel took in a shaky breath, attempting to speak again before Steven shushed her.
“I’m not going to try to stop you from crying. Go ahead- if you need to.” Steven reassured the gem, placing his other hand on top of their intertwined ones, looking her straight in the eye.
“We can go through it together. I’ll always be with you- right here, beside you.” Spinel felt her face warming up to his gentle, reassuring smile.
His gaze softened, lightly nodding to her. He wanted to make sure she knew.
Spinel tentatively leaned over and rested her head - her mind - that caused her so much trouble - on Stevens shoulder. She sighed in relief. She felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulders.
the pink gem sniffled, inhaling Steven’s subtle scent of cologne and laundry detergent, “Thanks… Steven- for ..eveyth..ing-“
Stevens reply was replaced by a tightening grip on their intertwined hands.
Spinel finally relaxed in what felt like forever,
She felt like she could finally close her eyes, and not think for just a second.. she was afraid of her own thoughts.
For a second, she could finally not be drowned in her own thoughts. This time, she could let herself peacefully fall asleep. She was very thankful for the relief.
She didn’t expect her day to end this well.
Sometimes… all you need is a friend.