Hurt her. The thought throbbed in my mind. I was never a violent man and would never think of hurting a woman, especially Scully!
But each time she bowed innocently, and her damn tattoo came up, all I wanted to do was hurt her skin, run my nails over the serpent's scales, tell her how dirty she had been and how much I wish she had been dirty with me, not with him!
-Mulder, is everything all right?
-The plane landed, Mulder. Are you going to get down or stay here and travel to, I don't know, the Bahamas ...
she asked genuinely amused by my distraction. She barely knew the dark things I was imagining a few seconds ago. It surprised me that she had come back to work so quickly. her porcelain face still sported a cruel bruise, but she was still as overwhelming as ever.
-Come on, we need to get a car. (I said with a dry humor)
We traveled in total silence during the three hours by road. I could see Scully watching me from the corner of her eye a few times. But when it seemed that her lips would utter something, she just sighed and continued to look out the window. We arrived at the hotel late at night and I was finally able to lock the bedroom door and get rid of that unbearable smell. The floral / musky smell of her skin. The smell of desire itself. The smell that has permeated my nostrils for the past seven years and now I couldn't seem to stand for long without thinking about jumping over her and tearing off that neat suit she wore during cases.
What the hell was this woman doing to me? I was not this irrational animal. I was always a man with a certain appetite ... But Scully was making me hungry, desperately hungry!
I lay in bed, exhausted, physically and emotionally. But then the fantasies began. Scully, small and fragile, with her immaculate body being desecrated with that evil serpent. Did she feel pleasure as the needle penetrated her skin? He watched? Did he hear her moan as colors surged into her coccyx? Did he press her with his rough hands against the wall of the dirty apartment as he fucked her from behind?
My dick was hard. It seemed sick, but I couldn't control my body's reactions to those thoughts. I released my painful erection and pumped hard. In my mind, damn Ed Jersey grabbed Scully's hair and slammed it hard against her pink pussy as vulgar screams filled the apartment walls. How many times would he have fucked her? Had he shown his violent behavior during sex? And if so, is that what she liked?
God, what the hell was I thinking? That's what you did to me, Scully ... Turned me into a pathetic pervert, jacking off in a cheap hotel room, imagining you getting fucked by a criminal.
Unfortunately, I didn't care anymore, so I continued my sad activity. Suddenly a loud knock on the door. I stopped for a moment waiting for her to give up, but damn it, it was Scully, she wouldn't stop until I opened the door.
- Something wrong?
- No ... I mean, yes.
she looked down a little too much and it was impossible not to notice my painful erection. I saw her cheeks flush, as well as the little skin her pajamas showed on her bust. She took a deep breath and lifted her face pretending not to understand what I was doing seconds before, and with a self-assured image said:
-We need to talk about "us".
-You know what I mean ... This tense and weird thing since I came back ...
-Scully ... (I said running my hand over my face anxiously)
-May I come in or will you freeze me in the door?
- Come inside.
I closed the door and took a few seconds to look at her.
Her eyes were intense and her breasts rose and fell, mostly because now she seemed not to care and make clear what she was looking at in my pants. But that didn't stop her from speaking with evident anger.
-I'm trying to understand why you're treating me with indifference, like I've done something against you. Are we really going to persist in this? Like everything I do is to hit you?
- I didn't say that...
-No! You don't say anything! You keep looking at me like I was...I was...
-Like you was what?
-A whore! Thats the word! Is that what you think about me, right, Mulder? You are judging me since i came back and Im sick of it! I need to have a fucking life! What do you think? That i have to stay home and just stare the wall until the next day? Until I have to meet you in that fucking office?
-Oh my God! Was that all you heard?
-I get all that, Scully! I understand you can't stand being by my side anymore, I understand that I make your life boring. That I disturb your fun...
-Jesus Christ! My fun? What fun? My life is my work, Mulder, is like...Is like I can't be a single person, because Im always gonna be Mrs. Spooky! And you don't even care about that. Is all you,you, you!
-I can't do that...If you want to live your life without me, just go! Im not locking you in my office...
-Our office...But I see you just don't care.
-How can you say that?
-Scully...I can't do this anymore...I can't stay by your side and...and...
-And what? Watch me having a life? Watch me being a woman? Living anything that don't include you,you fucking selfish?!
-You know what? That conversation its over! You can end with anythint you want. Go and be a doctor, go and be a woman, go and fuck with a thousand criminals!
I could see the color of her cheeks match her hair. His beautiful blue eyes darkened and I felt the ocean could drown me cruelly at that moment. I had never seen Scully like this and I was sure if she was armed, I would have been shot in the chest. Instead of the shot, her small but heavy hand hit my face with all the rage bubbling over her and I don't know why the hell I did what I did, but as I gripped her wrist and faced her dilated pupils, my body acted guided by some instinct. ... and I devoured her full lips, like an animal.
Maybe the fright paralyzed her, because for a moment Scully was like a rag doll in my arms. Suddenly, as if understanding what was happening had awakened her, I felt her nails penetrate the flesh of my arms. her lips parted and our tongues did a promiscuous dance for a few seconds, but then, driven by desperate desire and equally intense fury, I pinned her hair to my wrist and tugged at the buttons on her pajamas, tearing the fabric as she he let out a loud, frightened moan.
I did not do it. I was deaf horny. My teeth dug into her neck and the "No" resonated strongly around the room when I finally realized what I was doing.
I released her from my arms and went into despair, running my hands over my head as I listened to Scully's sob, hugging herself, holding her torn shirt to her breasts. You perverted bastard and criminal! That was what I thought of myself. She didn't move, she just sobbed softly, looking at her own feet. When I finally had the courage to approach her again, her name was the only thing I could verbalize.
She raised her hand in a "Pause" sign and wiped the tears with the cuff of her silk shirt.
- We have nothing more to say now. We'd better sleep ... I have to do the autopsy early tomorrow.
And so, as if nothing had happened, she walked out slowly and closed the door. I collapsed in bed. What did I do?