Work Header

Arguments That Will Never Matter

Work Text:

“We only have a 37 percent chance of surviving this, you know that right?” Missy lulled her head to the side, looking at her former self.

“How do you figure that?” he scoffed, mumbling something after it about women and maths,

“First of all I am literally you so there is no reason my maths would be off. Second of all we’re at a fork in the timeline, I can’t move forward.” she replied with a tone of utter disdain.

“You’re forgetting sister. I still have a TARDIS. No need for any of your cheap and nasty time travel” now pacing, he spoke as if to accuse her of losing her own.

“Ah that's right. You know I would have mine but some idiot drove too close to a black hole and crashed into a ship.” Missy rolled her eyes

“Yes yes, heard it before I’m a terrible driver-”

“Good of you to admit it.” interrupted Missy

“Like you’re better.” he scoffed back at her

“I don’t leave my brakes on.”

“You are literally me, we just settled this. And If you recall a lack of brakes was the issue” he pointedly reminded Missy.

Missy sighed, flopping dramatically over the side of the windowsill seat. Looking over to her counterpart in exaggerated annoyance. He paced the room, his annoyance with her prodding evident on his brows.

Missy sighed, “Seems we got off topic. Do I need to remind you about the 63 percent chance we are going to die horribly.”

“No, you don’t.. Ugh, Missy what do we do.”

“So now you want my advice.”

He rolled his eyes, wondering idly if he was ever this antagonistic before. “Yes, I want my expert advice.”

And Missy jumped up. Pacing now to mirror her counterpart.

They brainstormed, throwing ideas in every directions. Clinging to what sticks, quickly discarding what didn’t fit and justly mocking them when poor enough. Watching their former and future selves run through hundreds of possible solutions, plans and predictions was almost a bigger ego boost than beating The Doctor. But then Missy froze.

“Wait. . .we” Her voice choked

“Seems our maths was off sister”

“We could survive this, just not the way we think” They said in unison

Sadly it would never matter.