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Cookie Monster

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"Mul-der," came the good-natured whine from the living room.

"I'll be right there!" he shouted, putting the finishing touches on their movie night snacks. For Scully, he had a tray loaded with carrots, pretzels, hummus, and graham crackers. Since she was eating so much, she insisted on healthy snacks. Mulder didn't have any such compunctions. He went with chocolate chunk cookies and beer.

Mulder brought the snacks into the living room, and Scully's eyes lit up with delight. "What are we watching?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.


"You mean we don't have to watch The Exorcist for the zillionth time?"

"After you prepared me this snack fit for a queen, I thought I'd give you a break," she said as she dug into her spread. 

Mulder sat on the couch, and Scully propped her feet up on his lap. They fell into companionable silence as they watched the movie and ate their snacks.

"You want one?" he asked, offering her a cookie. 

"No thanks," she sighed. He could tell she wanted one, but didn't push.

After about a half-hour, Mulder had just about finished his cookies. "Last one...."

Scully gave in and took the proffered cookie. "Oh my gosh, that may be the best chocolate chunk cookie I've ever had," she enthused, savoring the cookie the way most people would savor a lover's kiss. Mulder couldn't help but smile. He knew she couldn't hold out forever.

They returned to the movie, but not for long. "Are you sure that was the last cookie?"

"Yep. Last one."

Scully pouted and picked at her graham crackers. Mulder pretended not to notice, but he could only torture her for a few minutes. "Okay, okay. Anything else you want at the store?"

She grinned like a child. "Nope, just the cookies!"

He smiled at her, grabbed his keys from the table, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He can never say no to her.



Mulder had taken to getting the groceries for Scully. He also took care of the dry cleaning, the pharmacy runs... pretty much anything he could do to make her life easier.

On this week's grocery trip, he made sure to get another box of chocolate chunk cookies. This had become the one junk food that Scully would allow herself, and he wouldn't deny her. He did, however, eat one before he got home. Otherwise he would never get one.



On his next grocery run, Mulder bought two boxes of chocolate chunk cookies. He intended them each to get their own box. But Scully finishes her box of cookies before the next grocery day.

She tried to wait, to put it out of her mind. But nothing could satisfy the craving. Maybe I'll just have one of Mulder's cookies, she thought, slipping from bed and tiptoeing into the kitchen.

She had only had a bite when Mulder surprised her. "It's okay. I don't mind sharing." He poured two glasses of milk and joined her for a midnight cookie.



Another week, another grocery run. This time, Mulder bought three boxes of cookies, and didn't bother designating them "hers" and "his." This time, she ate all of them. Mulder didn't get a crumb.



Mulder got smart the next time he went to the market. He bought four boxes of cookies. Three went into the pantry. But the fourth went on top of the fridge - out of Scully's reach.

"Seriously? You are seriously putting cookies out of my reach?" she asked incredulously.

"There are three boxes of cookies, all within reach, all for Scully," he assured her. 

So she ate her cookies. She portioned them out a little better, but still ate them all a couple days before Mulder's grocery day. Scully was frustrated. She couldn't go back to graham crackers after the bliss of chocolate chunk cookies.

One day, Scully decided the cookies on the fridge would be hers. She stretched, but even on tippy-toes, she couldn't quite reach the cookies. Her big, pregnant belly wouldn't let her get close enough. She dragged over a chair, and contemplated climbing on top of it. It doesn't seem THAT unstable, she considered. Didn't matter anyway; she couldn't lift her enlarged frame up there.

Putting the chair away, Scully sighed and considered her options. I'm a scientist, she thought to herself. It shouldn't be this hard to get a box of cookies. As she pondered, she again tried reaching. It was no use.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mulder asked. Scully froze, then spun around. Mulder was standing nonchalantly in the doorway, a smug grin on his face. He knew exactly what she was doing, so Scully had no need to lie about it.

"I want some cookies."

"You mean, you want my cookies," he said, strolling to the fridge and taking the box down. He held it over his head, well out of Scully's reach.

"That's not fair," she pouted. "I'm pregnant."

"You ate three boxes of these in less than a week. I think it's time you slowed down." His tone was light, but there was concern in his eyes.

Scully sighed. "You're right," she admitted.

"C'mon. Let's go watch a movie. We can watch The Exorcist..." he offered, knowing she couldn't resist. Scully grabbed her box of graham crackers and followed him into the living room.

At some point during the movie, Scully noticed that Mulder had fallen asleep. His cookies were laying unguarded on his chest. As quietly as she could, she grabbed the box of cookies and retreated to her side of the couch. He didn't even make it to the exorcism, she reasoned as she settled in to watch her movie... and eat Mulder's cookies.

As she was finishing the last cookie, Mulder woke up and gasped, a look of mock surprise on his face. "What are you doing?"

Scully grinned wickedly as she popped the last bite into her mouth. "Don't fuck with a pregnant lady."