Class 1-A is bored. Very bored. Criminally bored. They're not used to this. It's... alarming. Izuku's certain a choice classmate (*cough* Bakugou *cough*) is going to unleash his irritation at this situation in a less than ideal manner.
You see, Class 1-A isn't used to being bored. Usually, the producers of UA, the reality TV show they star in, give them something to do, cough up an exciting scenario, force them to jump from planes or consume dried cow tongues, but today they had simply told them it was their turn to be exciting. They could do whatever they wished today. They went to the mall (got hounded by reporters and mobs of fans) and bought their assortment of clothes. (Katsuki from Hot Topic, Izuku from Urban Outfitters, Shouto from Gucci, Mina from Hollister, Momo from Nordstrom, etc.) The problem is, that didn't take up the whole day, and the only other ideas they have are, frankly, either not exciting enough for the show, or consist solely of blowing things up.
Izuku, Katsuki, Kirishima, Kaminari, Iida, Ochako, Mina, Todoroki, Momo, and Jirou have been lazily slouched over armchairs and loveseats and couches and floors for exactly 29 minutes, which may not seem like that long a time, but believe me, when you're doing absolutely nothing, it feels like an eternity and then some. It's been made the slightest bit more bearable by the fact that the UA mansion holds an excellent assortment of furniture to slouch over. The others had decided to visit family over the weekend. Lucky bastards.
When Katsuki acquires a dangerous glint to his eye and begins eyeing everyone around him a bit psychotically, hands beginning to smoke, Izuku knows he has to do something, so he says the only thing he can think of. "Let's play truth or dare!"
"What? Why?" Jirou asks.
Mina squeals and claps her hands together like a giddy schoolgirl. (Spoiler alert: she's a giddy schoolgirl.) "Why not? You don't need a reason to play truth or dare!"
Bakugou narrows his eyes, palms crackling now. "Fuck no."
"Absolutely the fuck not."
"Come on, Kacchan, please," Izuku pleads. "We're all super bored and it would be good for the show."
"Like I fucking give a shit about that."
"Come on, bro!" Kaminari urges.
"Do the manly thing!" Kirishima says.
"I suppose it sounds like it could be fun," Momo says.
"I've never played." Todoroki's face is deadpan when he adds, "I would like to reclaim my childhood in an act of petty vengeance against my miscreant of a father."
"It'll be exciting!" Uraraka adds.
"I would actually prefer not to—"
"Shut up, Iida!"
Katsuki still isn't moved.
Izuku sighs, the kind of long-suffering, weary sort of sigh you can only acquire through many years of pain and hardship at the hands of Bakugou Katsuki. "Kacchan, don't make me do this..."
Bakugou blanches. "You wouldn't dare." Izuku only stares at him, face determined. "I swear to fucking God, shitnerd, if you—" Too late. Izuku's turned it on.
It's a magical thing, really. Everyone gasps, trying to shield themselves from the blinding brilliance of Izuku's puppy dog eyes. They're large and green and tantalizing and oh God—"Fine, I'll do it! I'll fucking do it! Just turn that shit off, Deku, it's blinding me!"
Izuku smiles slightly, almost smirking, and does as he's bidden.
The others, who've never experienced the full force of Izuku's adorableness, just sit there, dazed for at least another minute before Kirishima finally says, "Bro, are you sure that wasn't your quirk?"
Izuku giggles and shit if that's not the cutest thing anyone's ever heard. "Yeah, pretty sure. I've been told I can be pretty convincing if I widen my eyes a little and pout."
Kaminari shakes his head like a dog, like he's trying to shake something. "Dude, that wasn't being 'pretty convincing' that was some next level shit right there. In that moment, I would've thrown myself in front of a bus in for you. I would've gave up memes for you."
Eijiro drags his hands down his face, pale. "I would've burned my crocs!"
"I think I'm a bit dizzy," Momo says, looking a shade too green. "That was both exhilarating and exhausting."
"Fuck, Deku, you can't just pull that shit!" Katsuki growls. "It's too much for these fuckin' extras to handle."
Izuku shrugs. "I warned you." He grins. "Anyway, we've got a game of truth or dare to play, don't we?"
The camera crew suddenly spring to life, animated. They take their positions around the group, waiting for something to happen.
"So who's gonna be questioned first?" Jirou asks.
"I will. You can ask me," Mina says. "And how about we make this a little more interesting. Momo, will you create a lie detector?" Momo produces a mini lie detector and hands it to Mina. "All right, we'll use this to make sure no one's lying. You're allowed to pass, but every time you pass you get shocked a little by Denki which will basically give the illusion that you're drunk 'cause you'll be all woozy and weird. Got it?"
"Yep!" everyone choruses, except Bakugou, who's simmering on the sofa, looking very much like a pissed-off chihuahua with anger issues.
"Okay, Mina, truth or dare?" Jirou asks.
"Hmm, let's say... dare!" Mina grins, baring her teeth in a Bakugou sort of way.
Jirou tugs on one of her earbuds thoughtfully before saying, "Prank call Aizawa-sensei."
Mina's eyes widen. "What? What am I supposed to say?!"
"Umm, tell him you're pregnant."
"Ha. Ha. Hahaha. This is such a funny joke, Kyouka."
"Oh, this isn't a joke."
Mina sighs, resigned, and pulls out her hot pink phone. She taps in her password with long neon green acrylics and goes to her Contacts.
Uraraka giggles. "You have Aizawa-sensei in there as 'Sleepy Caterpillar'?"
Momo shrugs. "I suppose it fits quite well."
Right before Mina calls him, Iida cuts in. "I don't know if this is a very good idea! Just think about the repercussions—"
"A dare is a dare, Iida," Mina says, then hits dial.
Ri—"There must be a very, very good reason you are waking me up at this ungodly hour, Ashido," a very tired, very irritated, very weary voice says.
"It's only, like, 7:00 PM right now."
"Don't backtalk me, Ashido."
Mina snorts. "Yeah, yeah, Aizawa-sensei."
"So why have you called me?"
Jirou throws Mina a look. Todoroki leans forward, small, amused smile playing on his lips. Mina takes a deep breath. "Okay, so here's the thing. Um, I... don't know how else to say it, so I 'm just gonna, um, I'm pregnant!"
"Yes, I'm pregnant. Very, erm"—Mina coughs, desperately scanning the room and motioning for someone to tell her what to say—"very pregnant. So pregnant, in fact, that I might go into labor any minute now. I can feel the baby kickin' right now, actually! It's a girl. I've decided to name her Emika. She's going to be staying with me in my room in the mansion. I bought her a whole bunch of clothes already. They're all very cute. She's cute. Not that I can see her. I mean, I saw the ultrasound. Obviously. Because I have a baby. I do. I really, really do."
Aizawa heaves out a l e n g t h y sigh. "And who is the father?"
Mina nearly drops the phone, whacking Jirou in the arm, waiting for her to give her an answer. Kyouka just shrugs. Mina blurts out the first name she can think of. "Izuku!"
"Izuku. Midoriya Izuku. He is the father?"
"Yep, the one and only!" Mina chirps.
Izuku's entire face has turned red. The poor thing might be about to have a heart attack. Oh, well. He lived a good life. Sort of. Not really. At least he'll be able to die knowing Emika will come into this world. Okay, so maybe he's a little dramatic.
"And when did this happen?" Aizawa asks.
"When did what happen?" Mina sounds like she's trying a little too hard to be innocent. Her eyes are bugging out a little. She looks like a pink devil who's a little psychotic. Okay, maybe a lot psychotic. Izuku buries his face in his hands and moans. Kirishima squeezes his shoulder sympathetically.
"When did you two procreate?"
Everyone in the room splutters. Hearing their teacher say that, as technical the term as it is, is more than a little funny, and makes them more than a little uncomfortable.
"Erm, uh, well, um, six weeks ago!"
Katsuki looks at Mina blankly, and deadpan whispers, "I am so disappointed in you."
"Doesn't it take nine weeks?" Kaminari adds quietly.
"You guys are all fucking idiots."
"This must be the shortest pregnancy yet," Aizawa says, "if you're about to go into labor any second now."
Mina sighs. "All right, all right, this isn't real. It was a dare."
"What?" Mina throws her hands up. "You knew?"
"Of course. There were an incredible amount of flaws in your story. One, you were prattling on and on at the beginning, a clear sign of lying. Two, Midoriya would never. He is too pure." Everyone murmurs in agreement at this. "Three, it is not humanly possible for a baby to fully form in the womb in six weeks. I think we may need a Health class here. And four, I could hear everyone speaking in the background. I have no idea if you were attempting to be quiet or not, but it didn't work."
"Dang it. Welp, I tried. Thanks, Aizawa. Bye!" Mina hangs up and scans the room. "So who's next?"
"Ooh! I wanna go!" Kaminari shouts excitedly. He looks a bit like a puppy, the kind that are overly excitable and chase their own tails. If he'd turned his head in that moment, he'd have seen Eijiro practically beaming at him, like he was a beacon of warm light. If he'd turned his head, he probably wouldn't've understood what the look meant and chalked it up to Eijiro being a bro. Kaminari isn't the best at deciphering looks, or deciphering anything, really.
"Okay. Truth or dare?" Mina asks.
"All right." Mina smirks. "Strip and twerk in front of the camera to Truth Hurts."
"On TV?" Denki asks. He doesn't actually look too bothered, which is a tad concerning.
"Pikachu, I swear to fucking God, if you get naked in front of the camera I'm fucking exploding you."
"Relax, bro, it's only for like a few seconds. Just for the dare."
Izuku scratches the back of his neck. "I—I don't know if this is a very good idea."
"It is most definitely not!" Iida waves his arms around frantically.
"I'm confused," Todoroki says. "What exactly is happening right now?"
"Are we even allowed to do this?" Momo asks, sounding worried. She looks sort of like a mom and sort of like a hot nerd from a rom-com. It makes for a very strange (and strangely appealing) image.
"Only one way to find out!" Kaminari says cheerfully. "Besides, I'm not gonna go totally naked. I'll still wear my boxers, dudes, don't even worry."
"Yes," Todoroki says dryly. "Don't even worry."
"Hey, your dad's probably gonna see this, Todo," Ochako giggles. "It'll be even more of a disappointment!"
Todoroki's eyes suddenly light up. "Hell yes."
Kirishima throws him a concerned look.
Kaminari twerks to Truth Hurts. It's a little fantastic. Also a little traumatizing. Iida covers Izuku's eyes with thinly concealed horror. (Little does he know Izuku's seen it all already.)
1,000,000 dares later plus a shit-ton of shocking from Denki and more than a little deliriousness
"Listen up, Izu! My bro of bros! My manliest man!" Kirishima slurs.
"Aye aye, captain." Izuku giggles madly, head tipped back and eyes alight with the kind of joy you can only achieve at that certain time of the night when everything's all sort of weird and fuzzy but you're surrounded by people you love who are all just as crazy as you are.
"Truth or dare?"
"Uh..." Izuku thinks long and hard. He's already taken quite a few dares, many of which constituted mayonnaise and/or Mina's underwear. He's tired. "Truth."
"Cool, cool, cool." Kirishima tips forward and catches himself on Izuku's shoulder. "Okay... so, I've got an... an important question fr'you!"
"Whad'you think of Bakubro? Explodo-boy? Blasty?"
Katsuki's head snaps up from where he's been lazily splayed on the couch, half-asleep, mindlessly letting his friends (yes, he'll admit it) soft chatter and giggles lull him into a sleepy stupor. He considers blasting Eijiro in the face, and then exploding Izuku too, but then his already low friend count would be lowered even more, and if he's being totally honest (when is he not?), he wants to hear what Izuku has to say.
Izuku's delirium loosens his lips, the words slipping from them barely registering in his mind before they're out for all to see. (Literally. They're still being filmed. The camera crew are exhausted. Dammit, Greg just wants a fucking caramel macchiato.) "I mean, I think everyone knows what I think of him. He's... He's like a fire. Bright and passionate and brave and always reaching higher—"
"Also 'cause you think he's hot. Like a fire. 'Cause fires are hot," Ochako interjects somberly.
Izuku waves a lazy hand. "Yeah, 'course. And he's basically my idol. Like, All Might's this person I've looked up to for ages, watching videos of him and reading articles 'bout him, but he wasn't the only one I've been obsessing over since I could talk. I mean, I had a whole ass hero right in front of me the whole time. And I knew it. From the very start. There's just... just something 'bout Kacchan. He's a goddamn inferno, a perfect mess. Also hot. Like Ochako said. But that's just obvious. Also, I'm hungry. Do we have any kale? I have an intense craving and I feel like I should eat as much as I can right now 'cause I usually hate kale but it's good for me. Y'know?"
"Bro," Kirishima says.
"Bro," Kaminari says.
"Bro," they say in unison. "Man, that was some deep shit right there."
"What?" Izuku cocks his head. "The kale?"
"No, the stuff about Bakugou!" Denki looks weirdly energized.
"Yeah," Kirishima agrees. "You sounded like a poet. A drunk, high poet, but a poet nonetheless."
"Cool, but I really want some kale," Izuku says.
Momo looks at him appraisingly. "I don't think I ever realized how far your feelings extend for him. It's truly amazing."
"I mean, they are childhood friends and all." Ochako shrugs.
"I, personally, do not understand this... infatuation," Todoroki says. "But whatever makes you happy, makes me... tolerant."
"Thank you, Todo-kun," Midoriya says, "but no one's answered my question—"
"D'you think Bakugou feels the same?" Jirou asks, ignoring the fact that Bakugou is currently right behind her. She probably thinks he's asleep.
"I mean, I think so." Mina grins fiendishly. "I honestly kinda ship them."
Izuku squirms. "Okay, but the kale—"
"High-key," Kirishima and Kaminari breathe, nodding.
"Oh my God, you're absolutely right," Momo says, expression thoughtful. "They would make an excellent pairing. Izuku all sweet and Bakugou all... fiery?"
Izuku looks like he's on the verge of either tears or a temper tantrum. He opens his mouth and before he can even ask Katsuki snaps—
"Jesus fucking Christ, will someone get him some goddamn kale?!"