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Since I've Been Loving You

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Sam had lied a lot since coming back from Hell. There were the pretexting lies that they always told when working a case, but it went much deeper than that. He lied more easily than he told the truth. There was value in information, and he didn’t see why he ought to give that away for free.

But it surprised him when he realized that he’d been lying to himself.

For almost a year, he’d left Dean alone. It was easier that way. Dean had made a life for himself, and, honestly, Sam felt a certain freedom hunting alone. His decisions were rarely questioned, and there was just generally less static.

But he’d started thinking about Dean. At first, it was just the same fantasies that he’d had since he was a teenager, flowing through his mind as he slid his fist over his rock-hard cock on those nights where finding a partner felt like too much trouble. Dean on his knees, swallowing Sam’s cock. Except now there were tears in Dean’s eyes and more gagging. One time Sam had come so hard that he’d thought he was going to pass out.

So when Sam decided to bring Dean back into the fold, it was with the understanding that he was going to get into his brother’s pants, somehow. From what Sam had seen, Dean was drinking a lot less, and his tolerance was probably lower. Shouldn’t be too hard to get him liquored up and then slicked up so Sam could fuck him hard.

Consent, after all, was a fluid sort of thing, and Sam suspected that Dean wanted it just as much as Sam did.

Somehow, though, he never followed through with his plans, even when Dean let himself get sloppy drunk. And that’s when he began to understand the lie. It wasn’t just that he wanted to fuck Dean. He wanted to know, in no uncertain terms, that Dean wanted Sam to fuck him. He still wanted the tears and the gagging, but he wanted Dean to want them too. So he bided his time until he couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

“Dean,” Sam whispered gently as he slid under the covers of Dean’s bed. His brother lay curled on his side, his hand mere inches from the 1911 under his pillow. “Dean,” Sam said again, hoping that the sound of his calm voice would keep Dean from grabbing the firearm.

“Sammy?” Dean said, his voice thick with sleep.

“Yeah,” Sam said, and he pressed himself flush against Dean’s back, his already-hard cock rubbing against Dean’s ass. He wrapped his arm against Dean and held him tightly.

It felt like every muscle in Dean’s body tensed at once. So much for easing him into it.

“I never thought I’d say this, but please tell me you have a gun to my back,” Dean growled.

“In a manner of speaking,” Sam said, smirking.

“Are you naked?” Dean asked. “What the fuck , Sam?”

“Wanna fuck you, Dean.”

Sam didn’t think that Dean’s muscles could tighten any more, but apparently they could.

“Remember that time that I walked in on you jacking off? You were sixteen or so and I was twelve. I still think about that sometimes. I felt so dirty when it happened; hell, I felt dirty every time I thought about it. You don’t even know how many times I came all over my hand pretending it was you stroking me.”

“Stop it, Sammy.”

“Don’t want to,” Sam whispered in Dean’s ear. “And I don’t really think you want me to either.”

“Let me go before I make you.”

“I don’t think you can take me,” Sam purred. “Not in that way, at least. I’m pretty sure there are other ways you can take me, and I want to find out.”

“You’re my brother . This is all kinds of wrong.”

“Tell me you don’t want me to fuck you and I’ll leave you alone.”


“Just say it, Dean, and I’ll go back to my own bed. No harm, no foul.”

Still nothing. Sam took advantage of silence and reached down to find Dean’s cock was already hard.

“I knew you did,” Sam said. “I’ll make it so good for you, baby. No one needs to know. Let me make you feel so good.”


The word was so quiet that Sam hardly heard it, but it was more than enough. He roughly rolled Dean over so that they were facing each other and crashed his mouth into his brother’s. He’d expected their tongues to battle for dominance, but instead Dean opened his mouth and let Sam take what he wanted. Sam nipped Dean’s lower lip, explored his mouth with his tongue, savored the little whimpering noises that Dean was making.

Jesus. He knew it would be hot, but he’d never imagined Dean just submitting to him like this. He broke away from Dean’s mouth and whispered, “You’re going to let me do anything I want, aren’t you?”

The naked look in Dean’s eyes was all the answer he needed.

“Have you ever been fucked before, Dean? Ever had a cock up your ass?”

Dean nodded. Sam felt his cock stiffen even more at the thought of Dean letting some random guy fuck him.

“Did he take you out back of a bar? Bend you over and give it to you hard?” Sam reached between them and caught both of their cocks in his hand. It was lucky his hand was so massive, because neither of them had anything to be ashamed of in the size department. He stroked both of them, savoring the feel of Dean’s cock against his. “Did you let him fuck you in the back of the Impala? Would you let me?”

Dean moaned and bucked into Sam’s hand. “Let you do whatever you want,” he said roughly. “Anything, Sammy.”

Sam chuckled. “You don’t know what you’re offering,” he said. “There are a lot of things I want to do to you.”

“I trust you,” Dean said, and he really, really shouldn’t. 

Not with all the delicious, nasty thoughts running through Sam’s mind.

“Get on your knees, then,” Sam commanded.

Dean complied, his eyes blazing with desire as he gazed up. He opened his mouth, all the while maintaining steady eye contact.

“Jesus,” Sam breathed. “You look so fuckin’ good, waiting for my cock like that.” He stroked himself a couple times and then lined up with Dean’s mouth, pumping shallowly so just the head was engulfed by Dean’s perfect cock-sucking lips, Dean’s tongue stroking over the sensitive vein on the underside.

Sam withdrew and thrust further in, so Dean was taking him about halfway. Dean groaned around Sam’s cock, the vibrations increasing the already-incredible sensation.

“God, Dean, you love this, don’t you? You were made to take my cock. Does it make you hard to be so good for me?”

Another delicious groan.

Sam reached down and grabbed Dean’s hair, holding his head steady as he thrust hard. He felt the head of his cock pushing against the back of Dean’s throat. Dean gagged, just as beautifully as he had in all of Sam’s fantasies, and then Sam felt his cock plunge even deeper as Dean forced his throat muscles to relax.

He continued to hold his brother’s hair and fuck his throat. Dean took it all gracefully, still maintaining eye contact. It was when Sam noticed the tears welling up in Dean’s eyes that he lost all control, slamming himself into Dean’s mouth until he came hard down his brother’s throat. Before he closed his eyes and gave himself over to the sensation, Sam saw Dean’s eyes roll back in his head as he swallowed down everything he was given.

Dean rose to his feet, and Sam glanced down to see that Dean was covered in cum. 

“Did you just blow your wad blowing me?” Sam asked, grinning.

“Dude, you were fucking my throat,” Dean said, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.

Sam wiped his finger through Dean’s cum and licked it. “Tastes good, Dean.”

And that was enough to get both of them started on round two.

Sam kissed Dean deep and pushed him back on the bed again. “On your stomach, ass in the air,” he commanded.

Dean complied, good submissive boy that he was.

“Look at you, just waiting for your little brother to fuck you.”

“Nothing little about what you’re packing, Sammy,” Dean responded.

“Guess we’re about to find out,” Sam said, retrieving the bottle of lube from his duffel bag and squirting a sizeable amount on his fingers and on Dean’s ass. Dean shivered as the cold liquid touched him, but he maintained his position beautifully. “We’ll start with one finger.”

Sam knew perfectly well that one of his fingers was a lot to ask, but, as far as he was concerned, Dean was begging for it. Besides, he planned to get his dick inside Dean, and plenty of prep would be required for that.

He pressed the tip of his finger against Dean’s tight pucker. Dean moaned and leaned back, as if he was trying to impale himself on Sam’s finger. “God, you want it bad, don’t you?” Sam said, a note of awe (that he definitely wasn’t consciously responsible for) crept into his voice.

“Sam,” Dean said, and he sounded so desperate that Sam took pity on him and slowly began working his finger inside. 

“You’re so tight,” he said. “So warm.”

“More,” Dean gasped. “Sammy, I need more.”

Sam began slowly thrusting his finger in and out of Dean’s ass, savoring all the noises that Dean was making. God, how often had he fantasized about Dean underneath him, making these exact noises? He added a second finger, which just made Dean groan even louder.

By the time Sam had worked up to three fingers, Dean was fucking himself back against Sam’s fingers, his groans turning into full-on moaning. 

“God, Dean, you’re such a fucking slut,” Sam whispered in his ear. “Are you going to come again, just from this? Do you like Little Brother fucking your hole?”

Dean stilled for a minute, looking around at Sam with wide eyes, and quickly grabbed the base of his cock, squeezing.

“Fuck,” Sam said, closing his eyes. “I can’t wait any longer.” He pulled his fingers out and wasted no time slicking up his cock. He lined it up with Dean’s hole and pressed just a little, as if he was asking permission.

“Need you,” Dean said, and that was all the convincing it took.

He slowly slid his cock into his brother, feeling resistance, and then the second ring of muscle opened and it was a smooth slide in, until he was buried balls-deep. He could feel Dean’s muscles around him, stretching to take him, but Dean hadn’t made a sound.

“Dean?” he asked.

“Fuck me,” Dean said, his voice husky with desire.

Sam didn’t need any more encouragement. He slid almost all the way out and back in again, feeling Dean’s tight muscles welcome him back. Another couple strokes, and Dean was back to making delicious noises. Sam angled his hips and found the spot he was looking for, if Dean’s sudden shout was any indication. 

“Right there, big brother?” he asked with a grin, thrusting over the bundle of nerves again.

Dean had apparently lost the ability to speak, but if his body language was anything to go by, he was enjoying himself quite a bit. Sam maintained his speed and angle, drawing himself closer every moment. He reached around and stroked Dean’s cock. It only took a few strokes before Dean was coming, spasming around Sam. The sensation threw Sam over the edge, too, and he came hard in his brother’s ass.

Afterwards, Sam lay in Dean’s bed, snuggling up against his brother as the big spoon. He couldn’t quite remember how he’d wound up staying after he fucked Dean, but it seemed a good enough place to be for the moment. He nuzzled his face into the back of Dean’s neck and felt himself smile as Dean leaned back into him. 

It was in that moment that the lie fell apart entirely and Sam realized just how fucked he really was.