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Expect the Unexpected

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The first thing Eggsy sees when he wakes up every morning is Harry Hart, in one form or another. He sees his curling brown hair, set free from its styling product, running wild over the surface of his pillow. He sees the broad shoulders peeking out from the covers; he’d been shocked to learn that Harry prefers to sleep in the nude. Not that he will EVER be complaining about that. There are three tiny freckles on Harry’s left shoulder and two on his right. Eggsy knows this because he kisses all five of them every night before they turn the light out…his own secret talisman against nightmares that haunt them both. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. He sees the strong jaw dusted with a bit of morning stubble, a stubble that feels absolutely glorious along the inside of Eggsy’s thighs. He sees the handsome face, worry lines a bit fainter in sleep. Harry looks younger when he’s sleeping and it often makes Eggsy lie next to him and wonder what Harry was like at his age, as a rash young agent in his mid-twenties. Eggsy sees the scaring around Harry’s left eye, scarring that he gently kisses every day before saying goodbye. The scars are horrible, and Harry’s embarrassed by them, but as Eggsy tells him, only the living bear scars.

The first thing Eggsy THINKS when he wakes up every morning is, Fuck…look at him. And he’s all mine.


Merlin doesn’t look happy as they enter his office. “I did what I could, swear down!” Eggsy protests. “Ain’t my fault he’s perpetually late.”

“That is true, Gawain,” Merlin says. “He has been running late longer than you’ve been alive.”

“Today it was not MY fault,” Harry drawls. “I couldn’t find my tie.”

“Was it around Eggsy’s wrists?” Merlin asks, and Eggsy gapes at him. “As soon as he said it ye rubbed your fingers over your wrist, lad. Learn to be a bit less obvious,” Merlin snaps.

“No, as a matter of fact. That was last night,” Harry says calmly, and Eggsy blushes. He loves the way Harry is so free and easy about their relationship around Merlin, but still. Harry acts as if it’s no big deal. As if it’s just the way it is. He loves Eggsy, and he’s proud of it. Why should he be proud of it? Eggsy has tried to discuss this particular topic on more than one occasion, but Harry wants no part of it. Although they both have their faults, Harry more often than not acts as if Eggsy’s hung the moon. Eggsy more often than not feels as like a failure compared to Harry.

“Really, Harry, is that necessary?” Merlin almost whines.

“You are just jealous that you do not have a delectable, gorgeous, brilliant, talented, snarky young thing in YOUR bed,” Harry says, heading for the sideboard. “Tea, darling?”

“Wot? Uh, yeah, thanks, babe.” Eggsy stands by a chair and waits.

Merlin gives him a nod of approval. “Ye may sit, lad.” Eggsy sits down and smiles his thanks at Harry when a teacup is handed to him. Harry gracefully sits next to him. “I have a mission for the two of you.”

Eggsy can’t help but light up. Missions with Harry are the best, although he knows Merlin pulls his hypothetical hair out every time they’re in the field together. He’s not sure why; they’ve always come home relatively unscathed. It’s not HIS fault Harry gets turned on by watching Eggsy on a mission. It’s not HIS fault they missed a boat from Crete because Harry was giving him the best blow job in recorded history in a warehouse surrounded by corpses. “Where we off to this time?”


“Surrey?” Eggsy wrinkles his nose and Merlin gives him a dirty look. “I mean, I’m sure Surrey is a lovely place, but that doesn’t sound very…exciting.”

“We need to get intel on this man…Anthony Creeley.” An extremely unattractive older man’s face pops up on Merlin’s screen. “We believe he’s moving weapons in and out of the country. He has a home in Surrey, and every year he throws an extravagant gala that lasts an entire weekend. He takes over a local park as well as the grounds of his house. The guest list is not large, but it is elite. You will go to the party, plant a bug in his office, and make sure he’s sufficiently distracted until I download everything from his system.” Merlin frowns. “His security is quite unparalleled. I will need at least thirty minutes to even get in.”

“And you will secure us the appropriate credentials? We obviously cannot just show up,” Harry says.

Merlin actually rolls his eyes. “Have ye met me, Harry? Of course I can get ye on the list. One of ye distract Creeley while the other plants bug on his desktop computer. Then ye both stay close until I give you the go ahead to leave.”

“Anything we know about Creeley that might be helpful?” Harry asks.

Merlin scans his monitor. “No children, never married…ah. Left at the altar by the woman he thought was his one true love. Sad…if he wasn’t a psychotic arsehole.”

“Our aliases?” Eggsy asks almost hopefully.

“Ye…are a couple,” Merlin mumbles.

Eggsy wants to let out a whoop. Instead he says, “I see,” and glances at Harry. Harry’s face is unreadable, except for the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. “Are we a couple that flaunts our love, or am I Harry’s arm candy, or am I his bit of rough for the night?”

“Ye are an established couple,” Merlin says with a sigh. “How ye handle that is up to you.”

“Very well, Merlin. When do we leave?” Harry asks.

“The party is tomorrow evening,” Merlin says. “The file is already downloaded to your computers.”

“We’ll be ready,” Eggsy promises.

“That is all,” Merlin says. “Dismissed.”


Later that evening they sit on the sofa side-by-side to read through their mission files. At least that’s what they start out doing. Eventually the computer sits forgotten on the coffee table as Eggsy sprawls out over Harry’s lap, Harry’s large hand drawing circles on his side as they kiss. “We should probably get back to work,” Eggsy says, moaning as Harry’s fingers slide up and down under his shirt. “Gotta figure out who’s gonna plant Merlin’s gadget, and who’s gonna be the distraction.”

“You are a lovely distraction, my boy,” Harry murmurs against Eggsy’s throat. “See how well you’re distracting me right now?”

“You pulled me onto your lap!” Eggsy says, actually giggling as Harry nips at his earlobe.

“Oh, did I?” Harry murmurs, actually licking Eggsy’s neck.

“I love you, Haz,” Eggsy says with a happy sigh. At this moment he cannot imagine being any happier. He has a job he loves, friends he loves and a man he absolutely adores.

Harry pulls back to look at him. “Do you, darling?”

“Why are you even asking that?” Eggsy asks with a frown.

“I don’t know. I just…these last two years have been wonderful, but I keep waiting for you to wake up and see what you’ve settled for.” Harry toys with a button of Eggsy’s shirt.

“I’ve settled for shit, Haz,” Eggsy says almost angrily. “What I’ve GOT is the best bloke on the planet.” And he snogs Harry again to shut him up.


“Fuck me,” Eggsy breathes as their car pulls up into the long line of vehicles waiting to enter the grounds of Creeley’s home.

“Right here in the backseat?” Harry says with a wink. “Do show some decorum.”

“Yeah, like you ain’t talked me into christening six different Kingsman cabs,” Eggsy points out. “Filthy old man.”

“Really, Galahad,” Merlin snaps in their ears. “I cannot believe I’m hearing this.”

“Oh yes you can,” Harry growls back. “I’m sure you’ve probably watched the footage from those cabs more than once. I’m not the only filthy old man here.”

“There’s cameras in those cabs?” Eggsy says weakly. Harry and Merlin chuckle as one. He’s not reassured.

When they finally get close to the door and exit the car Eggsy can hear music playing. The house is beautiful and the grounds are extensive. An orchestra is playing in one corner of the garden and people mill about drinking, eating, and talking. Harry takes his hand and kisses it. “All right?”

“Been a Kingsman for a few years now and I still feel like a fish outta water at these things,” Eggsy sighs.

“You’re not alone. Remember that,” Harry tells him, smiling down into his eyes.

They make their way through the garden, each keeping an eye out for their host. Their backstory is simple; they’re two men who’ve been dating for a few years, not unlike their real life relationship. Harry has a company and an office, although he comes from money and therefore doesn’t do much work to keep it. Eggsy’s alias is a young man working for a company Harry does business with. His job title is vague and non-descript but it really doesn’t matter. Anthony Creeley will only be interested in one thing: Harry’s money.

They spend the next hour wandering through the crowd before Harry finally catches sight of Creeley. He’s standing on a balcony overlooking the garden, gazing down at everyone like Jay Gatsby. “This might be a little harder than we thought,” Eggsy murmurs. Creeley disappears from the balcony and eventually appears at the edge of the garden. People immediately go up and shake his hand, wishing to talk to him, thank him for coming.

“We need to get close to him without making it obvious. We need to get his attention,” Harry says. “Merlin?”

“You could always just go up and introduce yourselves…he thinks he’s worked with your company before.” They can hear Merlin furiously typing. “I planned on him being a bit more…social.”

“Harry, I need you to go along with an idea, all right?” Eggsy says suddenly. It’s ridiculous, but it’s not like they have anything to lose. “We’ll distract him and I’ll go into the house and find his computer. Merlin can help with that. I’ll be hiding in the car after I’m done, Merlin can let ya know when I’m safely hidden.”

“All right,” Harry says immediately. “What do you need me to do?”

Eggsy takes Harry by the hand and nonchalantly leads him to an empty bit of grass within the general vicinity of Creeley. He places a hand on Harry’s chest and looks up at him. “Ya need to propose to me.”

“What?” Merlin and Harry gasp together.

“Just DO IT,” Eggsy hisses. “Now.” He glances over at Creeley, who is idly looking in their direction. “Or pretend to do it. Go through the physical motions, for fuck’s sake!” Eggsy says, smiling up at him even as he growls through his clenched teeth.

Harry takes Eggsy’s hands in his and steps away so he can look at him. He runs his thumbs over the back of Eggsy’s hands, his face soft and loving. “I’m not sure where we’re going with this, darling, but you know I’m with you. I will ALWAYS be with you,” he whispers.

“Is this a fucking joke?” Eggsy says loudly, and at least ten people around them stop talking. “Are you fucking mental?”

“Darling, I only did what you…I…” Harry stammers, looking honestly confused.

“You’re proposing?” Eggsy screeches. By now everyone is looking, including Anthony Creeley.

“Well, we’ve…we’ve been together for a few years now. I thought you were happy. This seemed like the logical next step,” Harry says, his face a mass of confusion and grief.

“Yeah, we been together a few years. Big deal. Don’t mean I want the little house with the white picket fence,” Eggsy says, rolling his eyes. “I’m twenty-five, Henry. I’m not looking for anything like that. Not for a real long time. And I’m sorry, but I’m definitely not looking for it with you.”

“What?” Harry says, looking honestly shocked.

“Jesus, lad,” Merlin breathes in Eggsy’s ear.

“You’re fit enough, for a bloke your age, but c’mon…what’s in it for me? I’d be a young widower, I guess, so there’s that.” Eggsy hates saying these words, hates voicing the exact opposite of everything he feels for Harry. He forces himself to give a nasty chuckle. “I can’t believe you HONESTLY thought I’d say yes! Do you even have a ring?”

“Well, no, not yet, I thought I would let you pick one,” Harry manages.

“Thank God for that because your taste is absolutely ghastly. You’d probably put a dead butterfly on it or something.” Eggsy shakes his head. “And why here? Why NOW?”

“I suppose I…I wanted to surprise you,” Harry says lamely.

“Well, you did. And in case you didn’t get it, my answer is NO.” Eggsy looks around and for the first time seems to see the people staring at them. “I’m going inside to get a drink, and then I’m leaving. Find your own way home…and lose my number. Jesus.” He shakes his head again and makes a beeline for the house. He glances back and sees Anthony Creeley standing by Harry and actually putting an arm around his shoulders. Harry looks absolutely destroyed. Eggsy knows he should feel victorious, but he only feels dirty.

“Well, ye are definitely full of surprises, lad,” Merlin says quietly in his ear.


Eggsy makes it through the house without too much trouble; the staff is quite busy and people are wandering through the large building at their leisure. He goes into Creeley’s office and installs the bugging software with Merlin’s help. He then finds their car in the valet parking and tells the attendant that he needs to take a nap. He crawls into the backseat and pushes the button that opens the secret entrance into the trunk. He lays there and waits for Harry, worrying about what he must be thinking. He knows it would have been smart to share his idea in advance, but it’s not like he has much time to it. His plan seems to have worked however; Creeley was quick to offer a sympathetic shoulder to cry on.

He finally hears the door open and close, and the engine starts. “Merlin?” Eggsy whispers. “Please tell me that’s Harry.”

“Aye, lad. He’s behind the wheel.” It’s a good twenty minutes before Merlin finally says, “Ye are in the clear.”

Eggsy pushes another button and rolls himself back into the car. “Fuck, it’s stuffy in there,” he says, coughing a bit. “All right, Harry?”

“Yes. We were able to keep Creeley sufficiently occupied.”

Eggsy studies the back of Harry’s head. He wishes he could gently brush his finger over the shining dark hair, but he doesn’t want to distract Harry while he’s driving. Instead he says, “See, Merlin? Me and Harry are the perfect team.”

“As ye say, lad,” Merlin says in an odd tone. “Please report tomorrow first thing.”

“Yes, Merlin,” Eggsy says obediently. He desperately wants to climb into the front seat. He wants to hold Harry’s hand, kiss the smooth palm, tell him he loves him. But instead he’s forced to remain the backseat until they’re home. “I love you,” he says faintly.

“Who? Me, or Merlin?” Harry asks with a teasing grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Me, of course,” Merlin pipes up. “I’m quite loveable.”

“Yes, Merlin we all adore you,” Harry says dryly and Eggsy chuckles.

They finally make it home and Harry parks in their allotted space around the corner. As soon as they’re out of the vehicle Eggsy falls into step with Harry, his fingers brushing against the back of Harry’s hand. Harry doesn’t say anything, but doesn’t move away. He simply makes his way to their little house and lets them in.

“Harry.” Eggsy grabs the back of his jacket when he makes a move toward the stairs. “You…you know I was just saying stuff, right? For the mission. You know I don’t feel that way really.” There’s something in Harry’s eye, something dark and lost, and it’s rubbing Eggsy the wrong way.

“Of course, darling.” Harry gives him a smile and goes upstairs. Eggsy watches him go, then hurries after him.

“Harry.” Eggsy stands in the doorway of the bedroom and watches Harry slowly undo the costume of Galahad and turn into Harry. The oxfords are replaced with comfortable house shoes. His suit is neatly hung up and replaced with casual trousers and a shirt. “Harry, stop. Please.”

“What, Eggsy?” Harry gives him an innocent look that breaks Eggsy’s heart, because he knows it’s not innocent at all.

“Harry, I love you. More than anything. I would never EVER mean any of the shite I said out there. You know that.”

“I know you believe it, dearest. For now, anyway.” Harry goes into the closet for a cardigan.

Eggsy strides across the room, yanks the cardigan from Harry’s hands and tosses it onto the bed. “Harry, for fuck’s sake, forget your fucking clothes! What does THAT mean, for now?”

Harry sighs. “You are twenty-five, Eggsy. I am fifty-two. I’m already showing signs of age, although I know I’m in better shape than most men in their fifties. I am growing slow, and tired, and new wrinkles pop up every day. I’m quite fussy and boring, and my interests are strange.”

“Harry.” Eggsy stares at him in shock. “You’re fucking Galahad. You ain’t boring or fussy. You’re fit and strong and gorgeous. You’re funny and smart.”

“Thank you,” Harry says with a sad smile.

“What’s all this about, Harry? You’re scaring me.”

“I’m scaring you?” Harry shakes his head. “I find it hard to believe that all of your reasons not to marry me just suddenly popped into your head. Yes…very hard to believe that you’ve never thought about these things before.”

“Wot?” Eggsy cannot understand what he’s hearing. “Harry, no. It’s not…it’s not like that at all! I don’t think any of that!”

“But perhaps you HAVE…or you will.” Harry picks up his cardigan and puts it on before kissing Eggsy on the cheek. “I will just be grateful for any time I have with you, my dear Eggsy.” He leaves the room, Eggsy staring after him open-mouthed.


Eggsy doesn’t sleep well that night. Or the next night. He tosses and turns, occasionally getting up and going downstairs so as not to disturb Harry. He wraps himself in Harry’s red dressing gown, inhaling the strong masculine scent that always means Harry, and wonders what the fuck he’s done to his relationship. Harry acts exactly the same, still teases him, cuddles with him, kisses him, but Eggsy sees it all differently now. Harry is waiting for the other shoe to drop.

On the third night Eggsy brings his glasses along downstairs. It’s almost three in the morning, and he makes himself a cup of tea and goes to curl up on the sofa. He buries his face in Harry’s gown and a few tears actually fall. He finally gets himself together and taps the side of his glasses. “Message to Merlin, private,” he begins. Merlin will get the message when he logs on the next morning. The ping he will receive informs him that it’s not an emergency.

The answering ping startles Eggsy and almost sends him off the sofa onto the floor. “To what do I owe this unexpected pleasure, Eggsy?”

“Fuck, Merlin, scare me to death!”

“I try and try but never succeed,” Merlin says cheerfully.

“I wasn’t trying to talk to you now…thought I’d leave you a message,” Eggsy says. “Sorry if I wakened you. I just needed to talk to you.”

“It’s fine. I was up. Continue.”

“This is personal.”

“I figured that out by the phrase, ‘message to Merlin, private.’ I’m smarter than ye think.”

“Whatever,” Eggsy scoffs. Merlin is probably the smartest person on the planet. “I need to talk to you about Harry.”

“What about him?” There’s that tone again.

“I fucked up, Merlin. I fucked up so bad, was just trying to save the mission!” Eggsy babbles. “I didn’t mean any of that…why doesn’t Harry know I didn’t mean it? Love him so much, more than fucking anything in the world except maybe Daisy. Every day I wake up and I’m like, oh my GOD this gorgeous bloke is mine, how did I do it? What did I do to make him see me? And now he’s…he’s like this POD person or something, because he thinks he’s gonna lose me someday. He told me. Why does he think that? He’s an idiot!”

“And ye say you love him,” Merlin replies. Eggsy growls at him. “Eggsy…I realize ye did nae realize the consequences when ye said what ye did at Creeley’s home. It did the job…he came over to Harry and commiserated with him for quite some time. The perfect distraction. But ye…ye dinnae know how…” Merlin sighs. “I always teased Harry for being such a pompous peacock. Since his return from Kentucky he’s continued that façade, but inside he feels like half the man he used to be. Half the friend, half the lover, half the Kingsman agent. He’s afraid that the good parts of his soul were erased by Valentine’s chip.”

“But he’s amazing,” Eggsy almost whispers. “He’s smart and funny, such a dry sense of humor. And he’s so fucking brilliant in the field. I tell him all of that all the time!”

“I know, Eggsy, but this Harry. He was raised to hide his emotions, to keep up the wall. And you’re the only person I know who’s ever managed to crack that wall. He’s afraid that one day ye will take a good hard look at him and realize your error.”

“Do you think it’s an error?” Eggsy asks suddenly. “Do you think we ain’t supposed to be together?”

“I think the two of ye are perfectly matched,” Merlin says, and Eggsy is shocked by his honesty. “What the one of ye lacks, the other provides.”

“If Harry proposed to me, I’d say yes in a heartbeat,” Eggsy says, and he realizes he means it. “I’d give him my forever right this very second.”

“Well…that is good to hear,” Merlin says gently. “But why do ye have to wait for him to propose?”

“I can’t do it,” Eggsy says in astonishment.

“Why not?”

“Cuz I ain’t got anything to offer him. What’s forever with me?”

“But it’s fine for HIM to propose to YOU?”

“Yeah, I’m stupid, sue me,” Eggsy mutters. “But what if he says no?”

“Which is worse? Him saying no, or him continuing to act like a ‘pod person,’ as ye so elegantly put it?”

“Do…do ya think he’d say yes, Merlin?”


“Truthfully.” Eggsy prepares himself for the worst. Merlin is Harry’s oldest and dearest friend. He almost knows Harry better then he knows himself.

“I absolutely think he’d say yes, lad.” Merlin’s voice is warm and kind. “Absolutely.”


Eggsy spends the next two weeks obsessing over his proposal. He finds the ring at the beginning of the second week, a gorgeous gold band with tiny peridot stones around the entire circle. Harry had told him once that he thought Eggsy’s eyes were the perfect mix of peridot and emerald, and Eggsy hasn’t forgotten. The ring has been burning a hole in his brain ever since as he tries to find just the right moment to propose. Harry deserves just the right moment.

Exactly three weeks after the nightmare mission at Anthony Creeley’s home, Eggsy finds himself laying in Harry’s arms after hours of vigorous lovemaking. His lover might be two decades older, but he has stamina and energy in the bedroom that puts Eggsy to shame. And Eggsy loves every minute of it. Harry’s hands draw lazy lines up and down Eggsy’s back, and Eggsy sighs happily as he presses kisses to Harry’s naked chest. “Coffee ready?” Harry says drowsily.

“Yes, Harry. Will go on at six.”

“Did you fetch my…”

“Yes. Back from the cleaners and hung in the closet.”

“Mmm.” Harry kisses the top of his head. “You’re too good to me, darling.”

Eggsy realizes this is it. He will never find a better moment than this. “Harry,” he says, sitting up suddenly. “I have something to tell you. Ask you. Talk to you about,” he stammers.

Harry suddenly doesn’t seem so tired. “All right.” He sits up against the headboard, pulling the sheet to his waist. Eggsy rolls his eyes. After what they just spent hours doing, he doesn’t see HOW Harry feels the need for modesty. Eggsy pads over to the door of the en suite and pulls on Harry’s dressing gown. He needs all the help he can get. Harry raises his eyebrows but says nothing.

“You know I love you, yeah?”

“Yes, darling. You say it all the time.”

“I say it cuz it’s true. I love you more than anything. I love how brave and strong you are, how funny and witty, how brilliant. I love how you fight, I love how you laugh, I love how you whisper my name when you’re balls deep inside me.”

“Lovely,” Harry says, but he blushes a bit. “I love you as well.”

“No, Haz, ya don’t get it.” Eggsy sits on the edge of the bed and takes Harry’s hand. “I am the luckiest damn man on the planet, cuz, see, every day? I wake up to you. I wake up to you smiling all sleepy at me, I wake up to you snoring in my face, I wake up to you humming in the shower…on the rare days you wake up first.” Eggsy squeezes his hand. “But the one constant thing, the one thing that is ALWAYS the same when I wake up? I always think to myself, ‘he’s all mine.’ I wake up and realize that somehow, somewhere, I did something right, and you’ve decided you want to be with ME.”

“Of course I do, you little fool,” Harry says. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Because I’m a dumb kid. I’m uneducated and don’t know Bronte from Austen. Because I don’t think before I speak or act, because I leave my hoodies on the sofa, because I wear a hoodie in the first place. Because you deserve better, you deserve an equal.”

“That is ridiculous,” Harry snaps. “You are my equal in every important way. Fuck Austen AND Bronte.”

“Don’t let Percival hear you say that,” Eggsy says with a grin. “Ya know he’s got a crush on that bloke from ‘Pride and Prejudice.’ He might ask for a duel.” Harry makes a face. “My point is, Haz…I love you. And you’re the only person I ever want to love. Everything I said that day at Creeley’s…” Harry makes another face. “…the reason I had that on the tip of my tongue? Was because it’s the exact opposite of everything I feel for you.” His legs shake as he gets up and goes over to the closet. He digs something out of the toe of one of his more garish trainers and comes back to the bed. “I’m only twenty-five, yeah, but I’m lucky enough to have found the love of my life. I might not exactly want a little white house with a picket fence, but I could give a flying fuck where I live, as long as you’re living there with me. I don’t want to be a young widower, because I can’t bear the thought of not waking up next to you every day.” Eggsy swallows the London-sized lump in his throat and opens his palm, holding out the small velvet box.

“Eggsy,” Harry whispers. His face is pale and he clears his throat.

“Harry Hart, I have wanted you since the moment you picked me up outside the station. I took one look at you and started to fall. I’ve loved you since we had those angry words after I wouldn’t shoot my dog…because I knew right then and there that disappointing you was the worst thing I ever did. I’ve known you were my forever since I looked through a two-way mirror and saw your face.” Eggsy slides to the floor on one knee and opens the box. “Harry…will you marry me?”

It seems like an eternity. Harry stares at the ring, stares at Eggsy, and stares back at the ring again. Eggsy’s starting to think he’s made a huge mistake when a single tear slides down Harry’s cheek from his good eye. “Yes,” he whispers. “Oh, yes, my dearest, most precious boy. I will absolutely marry you.” He clambers out of the covers and onto the floor, still naked, and throws himself into Eggsy’s arms.

Eggsy sobs and clings to him, burying his face in Harry’s bare shoulder. “God, Harry, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, Eggsy. Oh, how I love you.”

They hold each other for a moment until Eggsy realizes what this is probably doing to Harry’s knees. He pulls him up onto the bed and snuggles close, taking the ring from the box and putting it on Harry’s left hand. “What do you think?”

“It’s perfect,” Harry whispers. “I love it.”

Eggsy sighs and tries to return his heartbeat to its normal cadence. He’s getting married. He’s engaged. “Harry,” he says finally. “I might have meant ONE thing that day.”

“What, darling?” Harry murmurs into his hair.

“I’ll be planning the wedding…because my taste is MUCH better than yours.”

Harry celebrates their engagement by smacking Eggsy in the face with a pillow.