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*REUPLOAD* Something To Fight For

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Alec was the best
Some people were good at writing, or dancing, maybe even singing or cooking, but he was the best fighter in New York City. It was simply a fact.
Ever since he was a little kid he had loved fighting. The fist time he stepped into a boxing gym he had know it was where he wanted to be, where he was meant to be. In Alecs head fighting was something solid, something structured. There was a right way and a wrong way to do things, which is exactly how he liked to live his life, in black and white.

“Hey Alec” the girl at the front desk said as he walked through the threshold of the gym.
Lidia. She was nice enough, and pretty thought Alec.

“Hey lid, how was your weekend”

Lidia blushed at the question, he knew Lidia was in love with him, Christ the whole gym knew that she was, its not like she tried hard to hide it or be subtle. Of course he had tried to shut it down early on, to stop her from getting the wrong idea but she seemed oblivious to his uncomfortable conversations and smiles

“it was awesome, yeah I went to the movies with my brother because Kyle broke up with me..” she looked down at her hands as if waiting for some kind of of sympathy from him, and Alec took that as his cue to leave.

Its not that he didn’t want to comfort her , it was more then he never knew what to say when people where upset . Bedsides she was waiting for him to say things he would never hear from him so it was better to just leave it at that and walk into the work out area

The gym was one of the most prestigious gyms in the city, Nephilim. It was a gym that trained the best fighters in the city and had no time for people who were not willing to give it their all. The coaches were world renowned, the gear was the best, The gym was so elite you had to go through an interviewing proces to even become a member. It was a status that few could say they had the honor of having. The gymitself looked exactly like it sounds, it’s all big open spaces and windows, eight heavy bags hang from the celling’s across from a large mirror. It was supposed to look modern and clean, it is supposed to look expensive.

Alec walked past the other fighters who were on the floor and went straight to the locker room to dump his bag.
Just as he got to his locker he heard the door slam open

“Alec!!! There you are ! I’ve ben looking for you everywhere” a very sweaty men named rob rushes.

“well I just got here so what’s so important” he doesn’t have time for robs shit today.

“I need a someone to corner Jaces fight next weekend because something has come up and I wont be able to attend” typical. Back In his day rob was one of the top fighters in the world. He had money, and titles, the world was at his finger tips! But like most stories his victory came at a price. He was so obsessed with his dream of being the best that he neglected his wife who was pregnant with his baby. Turns out it was twins. Because of complications from birth his wife had died, leaving him responsible for their two new borns. It was not long after that that he deiced to hang up his gloves and open a gym, Nephilim, fast forward 15 years and he is one of the most successful gym owners in new York city.
Oh yeah, he was also Ales dad.

“sure whatever, do you know who he’s fighting?”

“Yeah one of Als guys, from Prodigy” Alec rolled his eyes, of course it had to be from Prodigy.

Prodigy was a rival gym up in Brooklyn. It was it Alecs opinion, everything wrong with the sport. The fighters were disrespectful, and fought dirty, they were dirty. It was really a miracle that they fought at all considering how much they liked to party, Nephilim had been at war with Prodigy for as long as he can remember, it only makes sense that Jaces first should be against one of them.

“I thought Al was done taking people to fights, it was in his words “to much work and not enough pay” Al Bane was argumentally one of the worst coaches in the entire sport, like ever. He was never around, he doesn’t care about whether or not his fighter’s are trained well of not, he is in It for the money instead of a love for the sport. The only thing that keep’s the gym in the was light as Nephilim is Als son.

“hes not taking him, Magnus is .”

Magnus Bane. Even the thought sparked something In Alec, something atoned to rage. If the name did not give it away, Magnus is the Prodigys son, and the head coach of the dreadful gym. In the fight world Magnus was the best, other then Alec of course. Everyone knew the story, he had been groomed from birth in order to be the best, and he was. It was almost like a retirement plan for Al. the two of them had fought many times inside the ring, and there revival was not over once they got out of it. Magnus was self-centered, and arrogant, he never showed up on time and was the definition of disrespect. Whether he was born to make his dad money or not, he was one of the best and Alec hated him even more for.

“that’s surprising. I thought he would be too busy sleeping with every person in Brooklyn to do something as mundane as taking some kid to a fight”

Magnus had a reputation for his notorious drinking habits. He was known as the king of the broken scene. He got whatever and who ever he wanted whenever he want them. He was crazy and unpredictable, his life was something straight out of a play boy magazine

“don’t be petty. He’s as good if not better then you” the look in robs eyes when he said it were enough to tell him that the conversation was over.
Alec just sighed and went to go find Jace.

Jace was a new fighter to the gym, but he was with out a doubt an up in comer. He was also one of Alecs closest friends. The two had met when he was four years old when Alec moved to New York from a small middle of nowhere town in Canada. He had been over whelmed to say the lest, but Jace had taken him under his wing and they soon became family. Although Jace had been In the gym almost as much as Alec had, he had never wanted to give it a try. It was not until they got older and Jace saw all the attention Alec was getting, more importantly the attention from the girls. When he had brought it up, Alec had just laughed and flipped him off, but fast forward a couple months and Jace Was about to step into the ring for the first time.

“how are you feeling about fighting one of Als guys? Ive heard he was personally trained by Magnus himself for this fight” he rolled his eyes as he said it, trying to fake annoyance because truth be told as much as Alec disliked Magnus, if Jordan was trained by him personally then he will be a tough fight, he just doesn’t want Jace to know that.

Jace finished his round on the bag before he looked up
“pretty confident. Jordan has next to no experience, and im sure pretty boy over there has been to wasted to train him properly,” he looked back at the bag before continuing “besides, I was trained by the best fighter in New York” he gave Alec a wink before he started his next round. Even though it was something that he did on the regular, the action still made Alecs heart beat a little faster.

He hummed in response to that answer. The only thing that will hurt him is going to be his ego.

“I heard that Magnus is trying to get a title shot but no one is qualified enough to fight him” Alec could not help but laugh at that. He really did try to stay away from the drama between the gyms but when he was around Jace he couldn’t help it.

im sure they don’t want to taint there records by putting his name on it” said Jace when Alec said nothing

“come on, he’s not that bad” a look of disbelieve flashed across Jaces face

Truth be told, Alec may have a deep dislike of the man but he dose have a sliver of respect for him. No matter how much he drinks or parties, there is no way to take the easy way when it comes to fighting, it is a hard and vicious game that there is no easy way to do, he would have had to put in lots of hard work and sacrifice in order to be as good as he is now. Even if Alec dose not like him, he still has a sliver of respect for what he has done

“whatever dude” Jace turned back to his bag to finish his work out
Alec could not help but notice the way that Jaces shirt was just a size too small, the way the fabric stretched across the lean muscles in his back and made everything just look more defined. He cleared his throat. Now was not the time for this

“Okay, I think your ready”
-

The days leading up to jaces big fight felt like near minutes to Alec. He was so caught up in all the last minute preparations, including having to supervise Jace while he ran sprints in a extra duty garbage bag because the idiot decided to wait until the day before to make weight, that when the big day finally arrived he felt like it was already over. Because the fight was to take place in Orlando Florida, and because the promoters of the fight decide they were not going to help them out with the coast of the flight Alec, Jace and Alecs sister all decided to risk the 16 hour drive to the hotel, something that he was sure would be more stressful then fighting

“are we almost thereeeee” whined both Jace and Izzy at the same time.

Since Jace had always been around, he was not only like a brother to Alec, but also to Izzy. The two were attached at the hip most of the time. It made him happy to see how well Jace fit into his life, and into his family. Izzy might have grown up in a house of fighters but she here self was definitely not one. She was the definition on a passasisat, who thought Alec and Jace were absolutely insane for choosing to get punched in the face for fun, all it took was one punch to the head for her to decided fighting was something she never, ever wanted to do again. Because of that, Izzy was more of a family out cast then Alec would ever be, and the second she turned eighteen she moved to a small apartment in Brooklyn, somewhere she knew he family would never follow. For that reason Alec dose not get to see her as much as he would like so he was excited to spend the week with her and Jace.

“I told you guys we should have just flown” Alec said, eyes never leaving the road in front of him. Its not that he didn’t like driving, its just that he chose to avoid it every chance he got, but because he was the only one who thought it would be useful to get a license, he was stuck the whole way.

“aw but then we wouldn’t be able to sing show tunes the whole way” Izzy said while turning up the radio louder then Alec thought it could go, while Jace pretend to be offended by her choice in music. He couldn’t help but smile.
-

At the end of the first day, the trio deiced to get a hotel room, well two hotel rooms because since Jace is fighting he deiced he needed to get in his Zone and stay by himself. He had never been able to say no to him and understood how terrified he must be even if he would deny it.
He remembered the first time he stepped into the ring. He was 12 years old and absolutly terrified. When he walked out to the ring he wanted to do nothing more then run away. The music was too loud; the lights were to bright, it was wrong in every aspect of the word. he looked at his dad who was standing behind him and begged him to stop it, and let him go home where he would be safe. But all his dad did was push him forward and tell him to keep his hands up. It was the most import day of Alecs life. So since he understands that Jace needs space to freak out, he has to share a room with Izzy, awesome.

“so hows nik doing” he asks while walking up to their room door. Nik was Izzys girlfriend. They had been together in the begging just to spit their dad, but then they ended up falling in love and moving in together. Izzy has been in countless relationships but this time it was different, she looked happier.

"oh shes doing so amazing! She just got that job at the new York times which is basically her dream job, im so proud of her” a blush forms across her face “things are going really well”
He puts a hand on his sisters back “ that is awesome Iz, im so happy for you”

“thank you”
As much as he likes to tease his sister about her love life, and all its trouble, he really is happy for her.

The night goes on like that, the two sit and talk about what is going on in there lives and what the future holds. Apparently after Izzy graduates her and nik are going to travel, get out of the city for a bit and experience life outside the neon lights. It makes sense, Izzy has never like the city and it makes sense that she would want to get out of it the second she could, but something about it still made his heart hurt.

“what about you big brother, what’s going on in your mysterious love life?”
that question made his thoughts stop. It was a question with no answer because that was just it. His love life was something that did not exist, nor could ever exist and it was something he would rather not talk about

“you know me Iz, I don’t really do that kind of thing, I’m too busy with the gym” that was what he told everyone whenever they asked. He was “to busy” to have friends or relationships, and in a way it was true, but only he knew that there was more to the story then what meets the eye

“what about that girl Lidia, she is totally into you”
He thought of lidia and her long brown hair, of her blue eyes and sun kissed skin

He looked down at his hands “shes not really my type”

Izzy looks at him as though she is reading every though he has ever had, and knows every secret he has ever kept. It makes him want to walk away, do anything to escape her gaze. He knows he should just man up and tell her, her of all people she would understand, but he just couldn’t. She seems to notice his mortal dilemma and decided to drop the subject and get ready for bed. He was never more grateful for her.

Chapter Text

“its hotttttt here” Izzy says as she falls out of the car.

That morning the trio had gotten back into the car and drove the last six hours of their trek and finally got to there destination, or so he thought. The hotel he was at seemed to be something right out of a movie. The lobby was one of the biggest rooms he had ever seen, with crystal chandeliers and velvet couches adorning the room. It was far too fancy to be hosting a bunch of fighters, and he would have turned around and got back into the car if a flash of gold had not caught his attention.

Magnus Bane.

Although he stood with his back to Alec, his Dark hair and gold jacket were unmissable. The sight made his head spin. He was standing alone with his single fighter Jordan.

“oo there is Magnus and Jordan!” squealed Izzy as she made her way over to them. Despite her brothers protest Izzy had somehow became good friends with Magnus Bane. The two apparently met up at one of his famous parties one night and hit it off. Since then they have been all but glued to the hip. He admits that Magnus can be intriguing, with his crazy hair and goldend eyes, but he knows the truth behind the mask.

“I don’t know why your friends with him” he scuffed as they slowly walked towards the enemy
The look she gave him was enough to know he should keep the rest of his thoughts to himself.

“Magnus!!!” Izzy squawks. she throws her self across the strangely well dressed man

“Isabel, what a pleasant surprise! I didn’t think you were gonna be able to make it” his voice comes out light, like he actually means what he’s saying. Alec just rolls his eyes. As the two pull away he clears his throat in as much annoyance as he can muster. Magnus looks at him if just for the first time he is realizing he is also standing there. The second his dark eyes were on him he wanted to walk away, something about Magnus full attention being on him made him fidget, and feel exposed

He raked his eyes up and down Alecs body as if he were sizing up an opponent before a fight, “and you Alexander, its nice to see you again.”

“Magnus.” Is all he says as he walks past him to the check in desk
-

“what do you mean you only have three rooms available? We booked this fight months ago!” this was not happening right now

“Sorry sir, but we just assumed that because you are both from New York that you would be from the same gym” she looked to be about eighteen years old and he could tell that this is the first time she has ever had to work at anything in her entire life, she had no idea about the chaos that she just through his life into. She rolled her eyes, “its unusually to have two gyms from the same city fighting each other” alec looked at her with eyes that could kill, she dose not even care! Before he can respond he feels a hand on his arm holding him back before magnus steps up to the desk

“well my dear you would be very mistaken. You see, we are very different gyms and it would really help us out if you could get us a few extra rooms,” he flashed her a smile that seemed as genuine as he could muster, “im sure a smart girl like you knows how to get things done” he lend in while batting his eye lashes, he thinks he is so impressive and handsome, its unbelievable! Leave it to Magnus to start flirting in what Alec can only call crises

“im really sorry” a blush starts to form on her skin “but we are all booked up for the fight” that’s all Alec has to hear before he walks away leaving Magnus to grab the hotel keys
Unbelievable. of course they end up having to share rooms with Prodigy on the weekend of Jaces big fight! Briefly he thinks about just getting another hotel room, somewhere far away from Magnus and his fighter, but when he looks back at the small group he knows he cant do that. Jace and Jordan seem to be talking about something that includes a lot of hand motions and izzy has a smile plastered across her face as she laughs at something Alec is sure is not really funny. Just because he has a problem with Prodigy and Magnus Bane that dose not mean he can take this away from Jace and Izzy. Slowly he walks back over to the group.

“so there are three of us and two of you, how do you want to do this?” he says mostly to Magnus since he seems to be the only one in charge

“I need my own room” jace pips in from the side.
The rest of the group looks at him like he had grown two heads. Leave it to Jace to think no matter what is happening, he must still be the most important person in the room. Okay, he might be thought Alec.

“jace we only have three rooms” said Izzy, her voice like ice

“sorry guys, I need my own space” not even Jordan who is also fighting seems to need as much special attention as Jace dose. Whatever, there is no arguing with him when he’s in this mind set.

“okay whatever, so then I guess its me and Izzy, and then sorry Jordan, you and Magnus are going to have to share a room” Alec says, standing up ready to leave
izzy put her hand on his shoulder

“actually, I love you Alec, but I cant stand another night with your snoring, I was ready to suffocate you while you slept”, Jace laughed from behind her “how about me and Magnus share a room, and then you and Jordan share” she says”! the rest of the group seems to agree

“absoulotly not” says Alec before anyone can agree.
There is no way that he is letting his baby sister share a room with Magnus Bane. It doesn’t matter that she has a girlfriend, as much as he trust his sister he knows that the way Magnus skin turns to something like gold when the light hits it right is something that will not be over looked by his sister. There is absolutely no way he is letting them share a room.

He looks around at the room and sees a smile start to form on Magnus face, he starts to laugh

“Well then Alexander, I guess its going to be you and me”

He looks around the group in disbelieve before realizing the hole that he had dug himself into. No going back now

“I guess it is” he says. The thought of sharing a room with Magnus for 5 days makes his skin crawl, but so be it.
-

“well this is it” Alec murmured as he opened the door to their hotel room

The group had decided that they all wanted to get settled in before they met up to hit one last round of pads, other then Izzy of course, who’s girlfriend had surprised her and driven out to be with her for the fight, something that had made even Alecs heart melt. Still, he is not thrilled to be alone with Magnus.
He walked into the room and the situation somehow got worse. The room was as small if not smaller then the locker room at he gym, with two single beds against both walls and a small table. He was pretty sure he’s had closets bigger then the room.

“well..at lest there are two beds” Magnus laughs. He’s trying to lighten the mood, like that were possible. He puts his hand on Alecs shoulder, and suddenly the pin hole sixed room seems even smaller. He walks away to put his bag on the bed closest to the wall.

“how was your trip down here, I heard from Izzy that you all drove down?” Magnus says as he swipes dust of off the table. It was apparent that this room was not up to Magnus standard

“yeah we did, it was fine” said Alec. He dident care about small talk. Magnus sighs from the front of the room and Alec cant help but turn around to face him. the minute he did he wished he didn’t. There was no denying the fact that Artist was maybe somewhat attractive, his fight name was “pretty boy” for a reason, but it was something Alec had never let himself think about but when he turned and saw him standing there against the windows, the sun surrounding him looking like a halo from god yet his gold hair making him look like a gift from the devil, Alec could not think anything other then beauty. He cleared his throat. Now was not the time.

The expression on his face turned from smug to annoyance, and for some reason Alec thought it looked out of place

“look,Alexander—”

“its Alec”

Alexander was a stupid nickname from when he was a child, no one was allowed to call him that now. He was no longer a child.

“fine, alec. Look I understand that you have some deep rooted hatred for me and my gym, and quite frankly I don’t blame you, but cut the shit with this stupid petty game we go back and forth with. Believe me, I don’t like this anymore then you do but I’m willing to put our personal differences aside for the next five days if you are” Magnus laughed “if not we can fight to the death and call it a weekend, its up to you” he gave him a smirk “Alexander”

Alec just stared at him. What was he supposed to say to that ‘I think ill go with fight to the death thank you very much’? as much as he hated it, this was the situation there were in and it would do no good for anyone for them to act like children.

“fine, okay yeah whatever” he gave him a cautious look.
Magnus seemed happy with that answer as he walked across the room to stand in front of him, so close that he noticed the flakes of gold in his eyes where.

He put out his hand and smiled “friends?”

He looked at Magnus out stretched hand, slowly, he took it. “temporarily”

This was going to be along weekend

Chapter Text

“good Jace!!” Alec yelled. He was currently holding one last round of pads before weigh ins in the morning. He was feeling confident; he was hitting strong, and moving fast. The only thing that gave him hesitation was the fact that Magnus and Jordan were standing right beside them doing there own work out. It made him uneasy knowing that they were watching his every move, even though Magnus is laughing at a joke Jordan said like he doesn’t have a care in the world, even Jordan seems relaxed, lounging on the ground like he owns the place. Alec looks away

“okay, your done” he says to Jace eve though hes still looking at other two standing across from him. He hears Jace laugh

“Five minutes sharing a room with Magnus and you cant get your eyes off him”
Alec feels all the blood drain from his face. Dose Jace—dose he know? A thousand thoughs start running through his mind but before he can spiral to far Jace laughs again “dude I was just kidding, you don’t have to freak out” haha very funny .

“ha-yeah, yeah I know” he says trying to stop his heart from beating out of is chest. He doesn’t want to think about Jace of all people being made aware of his relationship preference. Really he doesn’t want to think about anyone other then himself being made aware of it, its really no ones business but his own.

“so how is sharing a room with him?” Jace asks while unwrapping his hands.

“its only been five minutes and I already cant wait for it to be over” he says, taking once last glance at Magnus and his fighter before looking back at his.

“oh it cant be that bad, who knows, maybe it wont be as bad as you think”

“says the man who gets an entire room to himself!!”

“true” it only takes a moment for them to start laughing at their own jokes and as soon as they do things feel normal for a moment.
After the laughter dies down Jace looks over at Magnus sitting on the floor “they really are something aren’t they” he laughs at that

“that’s an understatement” the two gaze at each other a second before Alec clears his throat

“so- are you going back to your room or going out with Jordan? Remember weigh ins are really early tomorrow” there he is, back to being the mother hen of the group

“yeah, I think a bunch of us are going to head down to the pool, try to sweat out the last couple pounds in the hot tub, your welcome to join us” even the thought of Jace sitting in a hot tub sweating is enough to make his head spin, he needs to get a handle on this

“thanks-yeah im just going to head back to the room, try to get some sleep” he picked up his gym bag then put his hand on Jaces shoulder, he needed to hear this “but Jay, please remember that even though you and Jordan are all buddy-buddy now and seem to be friends, tomorrow you are both going to walk into the ring with the mind set only one of you is going to walk out. just remember that” Jaces face changed with the words, suddenly serious

“I know Alec, don’t worry” he must have seen the fear in his eyes. He would never admit it but he was almost more nervous about Jaces fight then Jace was! He nods at his friend before walking away, but before he could he added

“oh yeah, and no food because your still fat!!” it was a common saying in the fight world, one that catches people off guard when they are not used to it, but Jace takes it like a champ and laughs

“yes sir” he says

He ignores the way his heart jumps at those words and decides to just leave it be instead.
-

Instead of going up to the room like he intended to do he ends up finding a quite corner in a coffee shop. Finally, somewhere he can think. Jace is going to step into the ring In less then twenty hours. Rationally he knew that nothing that bad was going to happen, and if it did they would deal with it like they always do. Fighting was a sport that puts your life on the line every time you step into the ring, Jace knew this. He was ready to fight and was going to be fine. No matter how much he told himself this, he could not stop picturing Jace laying on canvas covered in his own blood, he screams at him to get up, to do anything but all he dose is lay there. The image has made itself a permanent resident in his brain. The terror is like a fire in his chest that makes this throat feel impossibly small. He looks down at his hands and sees that there are shaking. Calm down he tells himself, taking a deep breath trying to stop the tremors from over coming him. Its funny, you’d think that a big time fighter like him who gets into the ring to hit people would not have such bad anxiety, but he dose. Its one thing he has struggled with his entire life and with jaces fight on the horizon its becoming a bigger problem then anticipated. Just breath. He takes another sip of his coffee, trying to drown his thoughts. He cant just sit around like this over thinking every little thought. Maybe it’s a good thing he is stuck in a room with Magnus this weekend, at lest he will not have a moment to himself to think.
Thinking of Magnus made him remember that it was currently 2am and he had to get up at 5am for way ins. It was time to face the music. Slowly, he gets up and head back to the room.

When he gets back, the room is dark expect for the lamp on the bedside table, which Magnus must have forgot to turn off when he fell asleep with what looks like some YA book in his hands. He is relived to find out he is asleep, not having the mental strength to play his games right now. As quietly as he possibly can, he sneaks off to the bathroom to change out of his jeans into a pair of sweat pants. On his way back he goes to pick up his laptop, not yet ready to sleep and in the dark he misses the bottle of Advil sitting on top and spills it all over the room. He cringes at how loud the sound is in the quiet room. Magnus shifts. Crap

He hears him mumble something from across the room “Alec..?” his voice was rough from sleep, it turned something in Alec’s chest, something he didn’t want to think about.
He looks at the spilled pills on the ground, trying to stop the blush that is creeping up his neck from being caught in the dark, not that he was doing anything bad it’s the fact that he was being careless.

“sorry, I was just trying to get my computer, sorry for waking you”

“its nothing, where were you its like three am” he looks in the direction of the sound and holy shit.
Magnus was sitting up in bed, putting his still open book down on the bedside table. The light from the lamp beside him turned his olive skin to something that reminded him of liquid gold with the black from his tattoo coming off as spilled ink. There was something inhuman to the way he looked like this; it was. In a way Alec forgot he could look like. His hair which was normally perfectly styled, was lose and messy, he looked like something unreal. Alec could do nothing but stare.
Magnus must have noticed

“like what you see?” his voice was still lower then normal from sleep, but he had a smirk on his face that made Alecs brain scream MAYDAY MAYDAY ABORTE MISSION, he needed to get a grip on himself, but couldn’t stop the blush that filled his face.

“you wish” he mumbled trying to remember himself. This was Magnus. Not some guy he met a bar, or Jace. It was him, who may be admittedly beautiful but was also cruel and cold. He could break your heart in one word, something Alec had person experience with. Magnus was everything he never wanted to be. He needed to breath.
He walked over to his bed before answering his original question

I um-I just needed some air” he made the mistake of looking up again. At this distance, which was lesser then three feet thanks to the impossibly small hotel room, he saw for what he thinks is the first time in years, Magnus with out make up. Although he knows rationally that he would have to take off and redo his make up every night, it was easy to forgot that the black eye liner was no apart of him.. He was human after all. Magnus once again notices his stare but this time dose not mention it

“ah, you clear your head?” apparently not. Alec tried to collect his thoughts and get his head on straight but all he could think about was Magnus in the lamplight. That’s it, this needs to end

“um-y-ya” he clears his throat. Get it together “yeah. I did, thanks. “ he got up and put the laptop down, suddenly no longer interested in whatever it was he was going to look up, he just wanted to go to sleep and forget that fact that Magnus Is there at all.
Magnus watches his movements like a predator waiting to stick. It was both terrifying and exciting having his sole attention. What was wrong with him.

“good”, he turned off the light and laid back down, seeming to be done with the conversation at hand. Alec was thankful

“get some sleep Alexander, the boys weigh in in the morning” with those words he closed his eyes and turned away

Alec got into to bed and just laid there. What was that? His mind was going crazy with the image of Magnus’a makeup less face and golden skin. This was not something that he wanted to think about right now, nor something he ever wanted to think about ever again. Magnus may be beautiful to look at but that did not change who he was. It did not change the fact that he was not someone to be friends with, he cared for no one but himself, and did what was best for himself. He was arrogant and disrespectful and Alec needed to get it together and stop acting like he is something that he’s not. Magnus is not his friend, not someone he can talk to or think about. He was just a boy who happened to be sharing a room with him whom his best friend was going to fight (in some ways he guess” he should be thinking about Jaces fight, or weigh ins, he should be making sure that he’s at weight and ready but instead he cant stop his mind from playing the imagines over and over in his mind, and for the first time in weeks he fell asleep with something other then the terror for Jace on his mind.

Chapter Text

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

“mhhhnmm” Alec groans at the all to soon sound of an alarm clock, one that he dose not remember setting.

Its fight day.
he shoots up in bed so fast that his head spins with the sudden blood rush. He ignores it.. He looks to this right, expecting to see Magnus sitting there is all his glory, but instead he looks over and sees a empty bed. Confused, Alec looks at the clock and freezes when he sees what it says.
8am.
That cant be right, weigh ins where at 6, someone would have woken him up, but when he checks his phone, he sees a text from Jace. Or better yet multiple texts

“where are you! Everyone is here and waiting for you”

“everyone made weight.”

Alec jumps out of bed and throws on a t shit while stumbling slash running out the door. How could he do this it as one of the biggest days of Jace life so far and he missed the beginning of it . why didn’t Magnus wake him up? Where was Magnus? Alec had so many questions and he didn’t have time to answer any of them, all that mattered now was getting to Jace.

When Alec got down to the ball room where the fights were taking place, he couldn’t belive the amount of people. He knew it was a big tournament with lots of fighters, but this was a whole new level of crowded. Despite the growing panic in his chest he can’t help but smile when he sees the fighters walking around like the own the place, the serious look on their faces even though they are just as scared as anyone else. The smell of thai liniment so strong that he can partially taste it. all of this makes him smiles because this is where he belongs. He feels at home. his trance like state is frozen by the sound of Jace yelling across the room

“hey sleepy head! We are over here!”

Alec looks around, trying to find the source of the sounds. He eventually spots them. Jordan and Izzy are sitting in the corner, a little too close for Alec,s liking. All the fight bags surround them and it seems that they have found a sport to call home for the day. that is not what makes his ears go red. He turns his eyes to Jace, sitting on a chair getting his hands wrapped by Magnus fucking Bane. Alec runs over with a new passion in in his step. Why is Magnus wrapping Jaces hands? He is not his coach; he has no right to be anywhere near them even though it seems that they are destined to spend the weekend attached at the hip.

“whats going on” he asks, slighting out of breath

Alec looks to Jace, then to Magnus.

“well you were late, so Magnus here is wrapping my hands. And yes before you ask we both made weight and passed medicals.” He gives Alec a wink that makes his heart stop, not the time.

If he was already wrapping his hands that must mean that he fights sooner rather than later. Did Magnus every plan on waking him up?
He looked to Magnus and could not help but notice the gold in his hair from the day before had been changed to blue, the same color as Jordan’s corner.

“the boys fight in ten minutes. It’s a good thing you got hear when you did” Alec gives him his best cold stair, even though it fails miserably

“thanks for waking me up by the way” he mumbles, moving to sit in the chair beside Jace

“you were up most of the night, I figured you could use the extra couple hours of sleep. You get grumpy when your tried” Magnus gave him a smirk that twisted something in his gut.
he felt the blood rush to his head at the words

“do not.” He said back. Jace looked between the two of them

“you are absolutely right Bane, how on earth did you know that” the stress on the words made Alec want to run out of the room, he knew were this was going

“oh, didn’t you know? Me and Alexander over here were the best of friends once upon a time” yeah before Magnus started partying and sleeping around and became absolutely dreadful.

Jace seemed to need a minute to process the words, Alec decided that it was time.

“alright now that we have that out of the way, Magnus I appreciate your help but I need time alone with Jace and I’m sure there is stuff you and Jordan need to talk about without us, so what I’m saying is very kindly piss off” he smiled at the end, making it known he was saying it with the best intentions. He didn’t know whether it was the odd conversation from last night or the emotions over Jace fighting but Alec did not want to disrupt the new formed peace between him and Magnus, for the moment it worked in both their favors to be peace. Magnus slowly got up, playing up the drama of the situation

“as you wish my dear. Jace, good luck out there.” He turned towards then and took a bow “gentlemen and Izzy, I will see you on the other side”

Alec rolled his eyes but could not stop the smile from reaching across his face.
As soon as Magnus was gone, the game was on.
The next minutes fly by in what seems like seconds and before he can even requester what’s happening, he is standing in the pit with Jace, gear on, ready to fight. He looks at Jace, his face as neutral as he can plausibly keep it even though he can feel terror raise up his throat, into his head making it hard to breath. He will be alright he tells himself. For someone so used to watching fights he has never been good at watching people he cares about fight. He does his best to hide his fear from Jace but he knows that it is to no avail

“its going to be alright Alec” Jace smiles at him, trying to reassure him. This is not how it should go. He should be the one reassuring Jace

“don’t worry about me. Alright Jace this is it. when you step into that ring, its only you in there. Not me, not Magnus,” he looks over Jaces shoulder at Magnus who for the first time since he arrived looked like a fighter; with his hair tide back, a serious expression that somehow seemed out of place on his face. He turned his attention back to Jace “this is what you have worked for. You can do this. You just need to go out there and throw everything you got. I believe in you” he puts a hand on Jaces shoulder. He smiles in return
In the minutes before the fight Alec cant help but look back at Magnus. he looks so different. The black vest he wears shines blue in the light. Alec wonders if he has a similar one but in red. When he turns his head and their eyes met, there is something dark in Magnus eyes that Alec has never seen before. He looks beautifully dangerous. Jace must have noticed

“I cant believe it took less then twenty four hours for you to start crushing on Magnus, your mortal enemy, when were you gonna tell me?” there was a lightness to Jaces voice that had no right to be there when talking about…that. The terror already in his throat seems to intensify even more, making his head spin. Calm down, he tells himself over and over, this is not the time. Jace must see his face go white because he puts his hand on Alecs shoulder trying to ground him back to earth

“its alright Alec. Your alright” Alec looked at Magnus behind Jaces face, and for a second he thought that Magnus looked concerned

“lets talk about that later” Alec said a little out of breath “right now lets just focus on you, and getting out there and winning” as soon as he said it, the current fight ended and Jace was getting called to the ring. It was go time.

Alec walks Jace up to the ring, mouth guard in one hand and a towel in the other. form where they were standing the ring looked like a stage towering above everything else. As they walked up the stairs Alec could feel the adrenalin run through his veins. He gave Jace one last glance, to reassure him that he was here and he was going to be okay. Fighting was one of the scariest things in the world. You walk into a ring not knowing if you are ever going to walk out of it. its terrifying and Alec loves every second of it. as Jace jumps over the ropes, and feels the canvas under his feet for the first time he cant help but be jealous. Across the ring Magnus and Jordan make their way to the ring, Magnus has the same look of determination as before, Alec looks away.

He scans the crowd but he lights make it impossible to make a face out. as Jordan steps into the ring Alec calls Jace over for a final word. This was Alecs favorite part.

He put his hand on the back of Jaces neck and drew him in so that they were in a pare position, so close that he swears he could hear jaces heartbeat, or maybe it was just his own.

“alright buddy, here we go. Do it for me, do it for you, do it for your family. Fight safe, fight well, believe in yourself. You are good enough, you are strong enough. You got this” he pulls away and gives him one last smile

The pare said before a fight is in Alecs opinion the most intense part of a fight,. It is the moment that it become reals. All the blood, sweat, tears, all of it comes down to five short minutes, its during the prayer that you realize it
Jace walks to the middle of the ring to touch gloves with Jordan, and the fight begins

The fight starts off slow with Jace jumping around more then he should be. He’s tense, Alec thinks.

“GO Jace” he yells from the corner, if Jace has any chance, he has to go.
Before he gets a chance, Jordan lands a right hook just below his eyes, his hands shoot up in defense too late to stop it. Jace counters with several jabs and crosses, nothing has the power to do some real damage

“one two, one two!!” he yells. Jace however does not seem to get the message because all he does is put his hands up, and take shot after shot.

He cant look away from the disaster unfolding in front of him. it’s like watching two car coliid. As much as your mind is screaming at you to look away you have to watch the chaos
The first round continues much like that, Jace throws too little shots while Jordan does not seem to stop. When the bell rings to signal the end of the round, Alec jumps into action.

“Jace, buddy, at me” Alec says with authority. He puts ice over his head, and rubs out his legs. Jace seems to be focused on anything other than Alec in that moment.

“ I need to you listen to what I’m saying,” he looks Alec in the eyes, and he’s taken aback by the amount of fear. Usually the fear aspect of the fight Is over the second the first bell rings, but Jace is still looking up at him with big eyes filled with fear. “you need to keep your hands up, and throw” Alec finishes, his hand on the side of Jaces head.

“you’ve worked too hard to go out like this man, you need to give it absolutely everything you can” he says, a hint of begging in his voice. Jace will lose if he keeps going on like this. He has trained to had for it to be over like this.
Jace nods his head franticly.

“take a deep breath and go” says Alec as the bell once again rings.
As the fighters get back into the middle he sneaks a glance across the ring at Magnus, who still wears a look of pure determination and focuses on his face. Alec looks away.

“and go!” the ref says
This time Jace is the first to throw, he throws a hook to the head, followed by a beautiful body kick, Alec cant help but cheer.

“DO IT AGAIN” he yells.
And he does, Jace throws shot after shot, his pace never slowing down. Jordan, in an act of frustration throws himself into the clinch, alec swears he can hear Magnus tell him to stop. Everyone knows not to clinch with Alecs guys. Jace controls the clinch, he whips Jordan around like the weighs nothing, throwing knee after knee, he makes it look easy.
Pride over takes him as he looks at Jace, his best friend, his student who he has spent months and months training for this moment, he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing

“go!!Yes keep going!!” Alec is on his feet now, he can’t help it, he quickly looks at sky in the crowd, who is on her feet screaming as loud as she can. He smiles
Jordan throws a nasty body shot that destroys their clinch as the round comes to a close, Jace walks away with his head held high.
“Jay, that was perfect” Alec says, putting ice over his swollen eye

“you guys are tied one and one, the fight is yours if you keep doing what you are doing, I’m so fucking proud of you” Alec says with a smile.
When he looks at Jace this time instead of unfocused and scared, he looks determined. He looks right through Alec to Jordan on the other end of the ring.

“you ready to do this?” he asks
Jace nods

The bell goes and the last round begins.

Jace starts off strong, using the momentum of his last round to carry him through to this one, Jordan takes shot after shot without backing up, which makes Jace stumble, that’s all it takes.
Jordan grabs him around his middle in an act of desperation and Alec knows what’s about to happen before it dose. He looks to Magnus across the ring.

“stop this!!!” he yells but it’s to late.

Jordan wraps his arms around Jaces middle, he squeezes his arms together while kneeing his sides, like a Boa constrictor consuming his pray. he screams. Jordan is breaking his ribs.

Alec looks at Magnus. How could he do this?

“Magnus!!!! Stop this!!” he yells across the ring. This is not supposed to happen. Magnus looks at Alec, his face is just as shocked.

Jace screams in pain, no longer defending himself, Jordan throws him onto the ground with all his force. Jace does not get back up.

Get up. He pleas. Jace doesn’t. He lays on the ground, his face contorted with pain.

Alec feels like he is watching everything in slow motion. Jordan jumps onto the ropes in victory, and Jace stays on the ground. The ref calls the fight and the second he does; Alec is in the ring.

Chapter Text

He runs to Jace side, putting his hands on either side of his face.

“hey. Look at me, your going to be alright” Alec whispers

Jace’s eyes are unfocused
He runs his fingers through his hair in an act of comfort, trying to help him In whatever way he can. He can’t breath.
Jace cries as tried to move

“Alec...” he says through gritted teeth

“sh, you’re going to be alight” Alec focuses on Jace’s eyes, ignoring his own fear, he can’t think about that now, all that matters is him.
Someone puts their hair on Alecs shoulder, he jumps and is surprised to see Magnus standing there

“Jace, your going to be alright. No matter what happened you won that fight. You did everything right. just hang on” Magnus was now on his knees beside Alec, his hand never leaving his shoulder, the contact kept him grounded to earth. He didn’t know what to say to Magnus so he focused back on Jace. He could deal with Magnus later.

The medics were beside them what felt like hours later when it was only probably only a few seconds, and they were carrying Jace away on a board to a private room. Alec stayed right beside him the whole time, saying encouraging things until Jace believed him, or maybe until he himself believed it. when the doctor rushed into the room, Alec was told to wait outside, out of options he did the only thing he could and agreed.

“he’s going to be okay Alexander” Magnus is sitting beside him on the bench outside the medical room, his hand once again on his shoulder. He barely hears him speak. His heart is racing thousand beats per minute. He looks down at his hands. He is sweating

“Alexander listen to me” Magnus tries again, using a voice far to soft to come out of his mouth. The room seems to be getting smaller by the second. Jace is hurt. He is hurt. It was like every fear Alec had ever had about him stepping in the ring came true. Jordan hurt him. Jordan is Magnus fighter, someone must have taught him how to do that move. He whips his head around to Magnus; his panic quickly being replaced by anger. Magnus must see the sudden change because he quickly draws his hand back in.

“how could you teach him that?” he voice is not as hard as he wanted it to be. a part of him doesn’t want to hear the answer because he already knows it. The same part of him doesn’t want to hear Magnus say the words that would prove that everything Alec ever thought about him was true. That he really is a disrespectful asshole that he always thought he was. A part of him wanted to stay in the bubble of peace that the two had created, he thought of the comfort he felt by Magnus hand on his shoulder, about him letting him sleep in because he knew he was up all night with worry. Alec shook his head. He can’t think about that

“Alexander” Magnus moved his head so that the two are face to face, eye to eye “I know you don’t have a very high opinion of me, or my fighters which in all fairness I probably deserve, but you need d to believe me, I would never tell Jordan to do something like that. What he did was not only illegal but disrespectful to not only Jace but to you as well and Im truly sorry it had to happen like that. It was wrong” Magnus looks away from him. he wears a look of shame on his face and it looks out of place. Magnus was never anything other then confident and proud, even if he majorly messed up. But as he sits beside Alec looking shameful and shy, he looks like a different person. . Alec can’t keep up with all the thoughts running through his head so he says nothing. Magnus notices his silence.

He sighs and tried again

“Alec, if I had told Jordan to win like that, why would I be sitting here with you right now instead of out celebrating with my fighter?” the words leave his mouth in almost a plea, as if he needed Alec to understand that he wasn’t the monster everyone thought he was. This new side of him was almost vulnerable in how much emotion was written across his face. It was a side Alec had not seen since they were kids. There was no prefixes or disguises, the moment was real and sincere and Alec could not help but want to believe him. he remembered the way that Magnus had been around the fighters, the dark look of passion in his eyes, he looked like a man in love, it was the same look Alec had on his face when he stood in the ring. He couldn’t fake that.

“you called me Alec” that was the only thing he could say. He wanted to say so many things, but that was apparently the only words he could make come out of his mouth
Magnus said nothing, seeming speechless for the first time in his life, before he put a smirk on his face, any venerability from the moment before gone

“I did no such thing, Alexander”
Alec rolls his eyes, happy for the lightness that started to come back to the conversation.

“you did though, but for the record, I believe you. We may not have the best relationship but I don’t think you would tell Jordan to do that” saying it out loud felt like a confession. He really did believe him. what a crazy world it is. He looks at Magnus and feels the gears of their relationship change, it was a moment of understanding and Alec swears that he sees a flash of hope on Magnus face
.

“someone here for Jace herodale?” what seems like hours later a doctor looking person walked into the room

“yes, hello, is he okay” alec puts on his best professional face, trying to look indifferent to the whole situation, even though his mind is screaming at the doctor to tell him everything. The doctor must be used to it

“relax son, he’s going to be fine” he says the words light, like its just another sentence, not the fate of Alecs best friend

“he’s obviously not fine, otherwise he would not be here” he says, venom lacing every word. He stares at the doctor with daggers in his eyes. He hears Magnus laugh from behind him before he feels his presents beside him

“my apologize doc, my friend here is a little tense. Can you please explain what is wrong” his voice is so different from a few minutes early when they had been talking, this voice was faker then Izzys tan. He couldn’t help but apricate it either way. Maybe he was being a little much
The doctor looked at both of them, and fondly shock his head

“well yes, he has a few broken ribs, two to be exact. He also has a slight concussion from the fall, a broken wrist and a sprained back. From your concern I am going to assume that you must be Alec correct?” the doctor has a confused look on his face, like he expected it to be someone else

“yes sir, this guy right here is the one and only Alec Lightwood” Magnus seems to have taken over the speaking roll, not letting Alec get a word in before he responded, probably to afraid that Alec was going to lash out at the doctor. Alec looked at Magnus with fake annoyance, the smirk on Magnus face proof that it was all a joke to him, but the conversation earlier made him think somewhere in the back of his mind it might be a little more
The doctor looked at Magnus, then at Alec, then back to Magnus. he shook his head for the third time in the past two minutes, something alec wished he would stop doing

“sorry, I just assumed Alec was a girl” Alec felt the anger come back but before he could reply he felt Magnus grip his arm like a act of restraint. “and why would you think that” Magnus responded, his voice careful, ready to snap at any moment

“oh I didn’t mean to ofend you, its just that Jace was calling out for you while we set his arm.”
Any anger Alec had had disappeared before the doctors eyes, his throat felt tight.

“can I see him?” he asked but didn’t wait for the answer. Before he walked through the door he turn back to Magnus and shot him small smile

“give me a minute?” Magnus put his arm around the doctor before nodding

“Take all the time you want, ill just be out here with our new friend” he looked at the doctor with a pity look then opened the door to Jaces room.
The sight he saw took his breath away, not in a good way. In a world ending apocalyptic way
The room was white. So white that it seemed to glow, it looked wrong. Jace broken on the bed, with his arm in a cast, his torso and head covered in flawless white bandages, his eye was black. Yet despite all of that the second Jace saw Alec a smile found its way to his face.

“I know what you are going to say” his voice was rough, “how do you still look angelic even when you’re a bit broken?” he smiled, and it was all it took for Alec to break

“Jace” he breathed. It was the first time all day he had truly breathed. He was okay. Jace noticed the look on his face, the smile he always wore faded into something real, something that was laced with fear

“Alec” his voice broke and before he knew what had happen he was beside him, sitting in the chair beside the bed.

“im alright” Jace said, although Alec knew he wasn’t , they both did. right now was not the time to fight him about it. Alec knew that he would want to play it off as nothing, when really it was everything because that’s how Jace was, and after this was all over and they were okay they would sit down and talk about it, but right now Jace was alright, and that was all that mattered

“I know, I know you are” the two fell into an easy silence, neither really knowing what to say. They didn’t really need words. Suddenly Jace jerked up

“oh my god, how is Iz? Is she alright? She must be freaking out right now”
Izzy
Alec must have looked like he had seen a ghost because suddenly Jace was laughing

“you forgot to tell her, didn’t you” he was laughing a real laugh, well as much as he could considering is ribs. How could he have forgotten about his little sister. Jace was on the ground, then he was with magnus and he had been thinking about so many things yet somehow, he forgot to tell his baby sister that her brother was alright.
His silence made Jace laugh even louder.
Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door with Magnus peeking his head through it.

“come in” Jace said between laughs
Alec made eye contact with Magnus, and he looked more amused then Alec had ever seen him. whether it was Jace turning the color of a tomato from laughing or his own face suddenly as pale as a ghost he wasn’t sure.

“may I ask what we are laughing about”

“Alec…forgot, to tell. Iz” Jaces laughter was dying now, but it was still in enough force that he had to breath between words
Magnus face went from amused to absolute utter fear in about five seconds as he remembers he too forgot to inform Izzy

“in my defense” he looked from Magnus to Jace “he forgot to tell her too!” before he knew it all three of them had burst into laughter. The thing was it was not a funny conversation, and it was not something that should have had Alec holding is gut from laughing so hard, but they all needed it. it was something where if you didn’t laugh you might cry and no one
wanted to do that, not right now. Soon the laughter died down, and Magnus pushed his hair out of his eyes before speaking

“well boys, the only rash thing to do here is to send Alec, her brother into the fire” he looked at Alec with joy “my apologizes Alexander, we shall always remember your sacrifice”
with that they group burst into another round of laughter and Alec could not help but think about how despite the horrible situation, this was the most normal he had felt the entire weekend. He could not help but think how easily Magnus fit into his life

Chapter Text

“Iz, I know! Im sorry” he pulled the phone away from his face so that the rest of the group could hear his sister all but screaming through the phone. She had apparently been locked out of the room by the medics and no one had told her anything. She had a right to be upset.

“listen, no listen! he is alright, yes I know, he is fine” he looked at the two boys with daggers for making him do this

“why doesn’t she just come down here” yelled Jace so that Izzy could hear him through the phone. Alec looked at him with panic. He did NOT want to see Izzy right now.

“wait Iz-“ the line suddenly went dead
He sighed while putting the phone away, looking between Jace and Magnus

“she will be right here”
Alec loved Izzy, don’t get him wrong but she was the last person on the planet he wanted to see right now. He couldn’t bare the thought of her looking at Jace with pain and worry, looking at Alec with accusation. He couldn’t look at her and see the blame in her eyes. She would be right of core, its Alecs fault.

“good luck with her you guys, I wish I could stay but I have some….official coaching business to attend to” he cringed at his own lie, it sounded so fake but lucky for him Jace was to hyped up on pain medication and Magnus…well Magnus just seemed to know when Alec needed to be alone. He knew he would have to face Izzy eventually; tonight, was just not that night.
He said goodbye to Jace, and as he walked out of the room he put his hand on Magnus shoulder in a quick thank you, Magnus seemed to get the gesture and nodded in responds.
-

As it turns out Alec’s lie had not really been that much of a lie. As the coach he had had to filled out all of Jaces medical paper, make the final decision of whether or not he is able to fight, he obviously is not. There were also lots of people waiting to see if he was okay, he even saw a distort looking Jordan pretending not to listen while he explain that he was okay. By the time he finally sat down he realized how exhausted he was. He had been so busy all day, had so many things to do that he had not let himself feel anything, or get caught up in it, he did what needed to be done and did not let his emotions get in the way. But now as he rode the elevator up to this room, for the first time all day he was utterly alone and he couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions that filled his head. He had to get to the room.
When he opened the door the room was dark, save for the side lamp that Magnus must of forgot to turn off before he fell asleep again. Thank god, Alec thought, he didn’t think he had the energy to deal with Magnus right now who every second he has increasingly concerning feelings for. He turned off the lamp, and fell onto the bed, not even caring about removing his shoes, he needed to not feel anything for a moment,

 

.
_________________________
.Jace
He can’t take his eyes off of his best friend. His broken best friend laying bloody and broken on the ground. The crowd fades into nothing but a blur of color and sound, he cant focuse on anything or anyone other than Jace. His fighter, his brother, his responsibility.

“Jace” he trys to say but when he opened his mouth nothing came. He ran to the ring but the faster he tried the farther away he got, he ran until he could no longer breath and his lungs were burning

“Jace” he yelled again, this time his voice was no louder than a whisper.
He felt the fear and panic rising is his chest. He close is eyes to calm down, to take a breath but when he opened them again suddenly he was in the ring, Jace laying cold and blooding in front of him on the ground. He went to touch his friend.

He pulled Jace to his chest, stroking his blood soaked hair. He screamed.

“wake up, please wake up” he cried. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, the only thing grounding him to earth. A feeling like absolute sorrow filled him until it was pouring out his eyes and down his face, he felt hopeless.

“Jace” he held him tighter. Maybe if he felt on tight enough, he would piece him back together again.

“Alexander” he turned his head, looking for the source of that voice. That familiar voice. He looked back to wear Jace was resting against his chest and his heart broken even more when he saw what remained. Instead of Jace in his arms it was Magnus. Blood rolled down his face. A new wave of pain over took Alec as he stared at his once best friend, he was gone, and Jace was gone, and it was all his fault. He held Magnus tight to his chest.

“Mag, I’m so sorry, please wake up, you can’t leave me too” Mag. He thought of childhood. Of him and Magnus playing cards, and swimming in the lake, of sleep overs that seemed to never end, a stolen kisses under the old playground. He had not said that nickname in a life time.
His lungs were on fire, he couldn’t breath

“Alec” there was that voice again, louder now. He didn’t care.

“Alec please, its okay” he ignored it, caring only about the broken boy in his arms

“Alexander!!!”
________

his eyes open in a panic, he is sitting up before he can even register where he is. His heart is hammering in his chest, he can’t catch his breath. his vison star to blurs at the edges from lack of oxygen. He can’t breath. Jace. Magnus. He looks around, trying to find something, anything to ground onto, something to save him from drowning in the storm of his mind.
he is in his room. He turns to the right to see Magnus staring at him, his face twisted in worry. Alec looks at him with desperation. He’s okay?

“Alec. breath okay just breath” Magnus takes his hands, and holds his gaze while deeply breathing in and out, waiting for Alec to follow his motions. He rubs small calming circles on the inside of his wrist. It’s the same thing he would do when they were younger. Slowly the panic started to leave him, he kept Magnus stair, breathing like he was told.

“there, your doing so well” he says, his voice is calm and sweet, he speaks the same way one would talk to an animal or baby, afraid they would spook if he spoke to loud

Magnus was sitting in front of him, in his-their room. He was okay. As if he could read Alec’s thoughts Magnus spoke again

“its okay, I’m okay. Jace Is okay. It was a dream, everyone is okay” he made sure to give Alec his best smile.

He’s okay. Slowly he started to breath. they were okay, he was going to be okay. He clung onto Magnus hand. It felt like electricity shooting up his arm, he used that feeling to ground him.

They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time. Once Alec was okay, a new emotion filled him. Shame, embarrassment. He let go of Magnus hands and got up. He paced to the other side of the room, suddenly needing to be as far away from him as possible. He was not his friend; this was not something that should be happening. In his panic he had reverted back to a child, but now he was not. He cleared his throat, heat rushing his face.

“um, sorry about that” he said less confidently then he wanted it to sound. He looked at Magnus sitting on the edge of the bed, his face was calm

“there is nothing to apologize for. Lucky for us that trick still works” he looked like he was going to say more but stopped
an awkward silence filled the room, or maybe it was just awkward for Alec. The intimacy from the last moments to fresh.

“you should go back to sleep. Jordan fights tomorrow” he said as he went to grab a shirt from his bag. There was no way he was going to get anymore sleep tonight, he was not even going to try.

“where are you going to go? I assume sleep is not on your mind anymore” Magnus was already on his feet, moving to throw on a hoodie that he found on the floor, Alec paused.
In his panic he had not had a chance to see him, not really. He looked exhausted, and human. Suddenly images from his dream flashed in front of his eyes and he had to bit his tong.

“wait-what are you doing?” he asked, broken from his trance by Magnus grabbing the hotel key from the table beside him. When did he get so close?

“well since you so kindly woke me up in the middle of the night, the lest you can do is buy me a coffee” Magnus was not asking, he was simply stating. Not giving Alec an option to say no. he wanted to run, to stay away from Magnus for the rest of the trip after what had happened but as he looked at him, really looked at him he realized he was exhausted.

Maybe for it won’t be so bad, maybe for tonight they can be okay.
__

Alec had forgotten how easy it was to simply hang out with Magnus.

The two were sitting in the same café that Alec had sat in the night before. It was a little coffee shop meant for late night meetings or events. Whether it was because of the fights or divine intervention, there was no one else in there. They settled down at a small table, sitting in big comfy chairs that had Alec not been still reeling from his dream would have been soft enough to sleep in.

Magnus was laughing at something Alec had said, and in that moment, it was like they were young again, untainted by the harshness of the world, it was something Alec did not know he needed. It was natural and something he could do without thinking. Alec could not help but laugh.

“now why are you laughing” asked Magnus. Alec just looked at him for a moment before responding

“just at life. How did we end up here, Alec lightwood and Magnus bane reconnected and sitting at a coffee shop?” If someone had told him five days prior that he would be sitting in a coffee shop with Magnus at 3am having a nice time, he would have laughed in there face, but here they were.
Magnus contemplated his answer before he himself started to laugh

“your right alexander. this was a weird turn of events without a doubt, one that im not upset about to say the lest,” magnus smiled a regretful smile before his face grew serious

“Alexander about New York—”

“please, please can we not have this conversation right now” Alec knew what he was going to say. Images of the back room of a night club on a warm summer night, magnus kissing some guy who wasn’t him. He knew what he wanted to talk about and frankly Alec did not want to be at odds with magnus right now. Magnus bit his tung and just nodded, realizing that now might not be the best time

The two fell into silence, but it was not awkward or uncomfortable, it was the silence of two people who knew how to be around each other. Despite his dislike of Magnus, they had a history that could not be forgotten. It was a silence that was safe and consuming in all the best ways. Alec looked at Magnus and was shocked to find him already staring back at him.

He would not let him win, so he kept his gaze. Magnus seemed amused with Alecs challenge, a smirk finding its way onto his face. Beautiful was a word Alec had found himself using to describe Magnus more then he was okay with, but he knew it was true. He didn’t have to like him to be able to see that. At the thought he felt the heart rise to his face. Magnus smiled.

“you alright Alexander? You seem to be turning the color of a popular food”

“whatever”
Magnus laughed

“ah, I forgot how much the great Alexander “lightning” Lightwood likes to blush”

“and I forgot that the magnificent Magnus “Pretty boy” Bane still drinks hot chocolate with marshmallows in it” as if to prove his point he points to magnus cup which is indeed filled with hot chocolate. Alec could help the laugh that escaped his lips as Magnus pretended to be offended, he soon followed in laughter

“touché”

The two sat there laughing for a while before magnus put his mug on the table, his face once again serious.

“are you sure your okay Alec? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want but im here for you if you do” Magnus looked so sincere. Alec looked at him. He had spent the last five years despising the man in front of him, trying to forget that he ever met him, but here he was, looking at him with kind eyes and offering to hear all the demons he kept inside of his mind. He had to make a decision

“yeah im..” magnus eyes flash with hope. Alec makes the decision. “im not really okay”
Magnus smiled at him but did not say anything, encouraging him to continue

“it was so real. Jace was bleeding and broken on the ground, he never got up and I couldn’t get to him—” he took a deep breath “and when I did he was-he was gone, I just held him” he looked at magnus and swallowed the lump in his throat “when I looked back at him it wasn’t jace anymore, suddenly it was—it was you laying there de-dead covered in blood, I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t help him. It was my fault that both of you were there, it is my fault” Alec covered his face with his shaking hands, taking a deep breath. It was his fault jace got in the ring, he put him there.

He heard magnus sigh

“oh Alexander…”

Alec couldn’t bare to see the sympathy in Magnus face, he didn’t need It, especially from him.

“Alec…Jace is going to be okay. He may be a little broken but that boy will be okay in no time. You only gave him the chance to fight, it was up to him If he wanted to do it and he knew the risks, you did everything you could have possibly done to get him ready; it was not your fault.” The surety in Magnus voice makes him want to believe it. He looks up and mets his gaze, he’s shocked with what he finds. Magnus face is full of guilt, a look Alec knew well. Quietly, almost like a whisper magnus says something Alec is not sure he was supposed to hear

“if anything…It was my fault” Alecs head shoots up again, despite his mixed feelings towards magnus it was not his fault.

“magnus, its not your fault—”

“its my fighter. He did a stupid thing but there is nothing we can do about it now. All we can do is help jace get better, trust me, ill deal with Jordan”

The two share a look that only comes with being a coach and having your fighter mess up or get hurt

“your right.”.

Alec though reasonable the only reason he was opening up to Magnus about his feelings and life as much as he was it because there are different rules at night, it’s a different world. In that world they have no past, no skeletons in their closet, they are just two people who are having a coffee. But in the real world they are on opposite sides of the same war, and have a past he cant ignore. He has to deal with a broken jace and Magnus has to deal with Jordan, somehow Alec doesn’t think it will be pleasant. Jordan also has to fight again in the finals, but they can deal with it all in the morning. but for now, Alec was okay staying in his made-up world where he was sitting in a little coffee shop drinking hot chocolate with Magnus Bane

Chapter Text

They stayed at that coffee shop until the sun came up, wrapped in their little ball of bliss. They talked about anything and everything, five years is a lot to catch up on. Finally, though it came time to part ways.

“thanks for this Magnus, I really needed it” Alec smiled a warm, happy smile because he was, he was happy. Magnus looked at him with a certain light in his eyes that Alec had not seen for years

“no, thank you Alexander, it was nice to catch up. Where are you off to now?” magnus drank the last sip of his coffee before putting the mug back on the counter and gathering his stuff

“im gonna go check in with jace and Iz, make sure they are alright, what about you” Alec picked up his coat and stood up

“im gonna go try and get a couple hours of sleep before I have to figure out what to do with jordan” he spoke easier now, no longer Magnus Bane, but simply magnus. A night of coffee and talking will do that to you. But sadly, it was time to go back to the real world

“okay, um do you still have my number? Just so we can keep in touch throughout the day, you know with jordan fighting and stuff” it was only for fight purposes Alec thought to himself, nothing more. He needed to know where magnus was and vice visra. Magnus gave him a warm smile before flashing him his phone that did indeed still have his number.

“it just so happens that I do”
The two just stared at each other for a little moment longer, neither wanting to go back to the real world where they had to be adults, back to their own respective sides.

Alec was the first to go, he looked back once as he exited the little coffee shop and saw magnus watching him leave. He blushed
On the walk to the medical center his mind rolled over the night he had just had. Him and Magnus. It was nice, and easier than he thought to fall back into old patterns, but he couldn’t let himself go down that road again. He stopped at a restroom on his way there in order to splash some cold water in his face.

“cut it out lightwood” he said to himself. He needed to focuses. Magnus was no different then he had been three days ago. Just because they had one nice night did not mean he could be trusted or that anything had changed. Even though he knew that they had. He could tell himself that he hated Magnus all he wanted but he knew it wasn’t true, it might not have ever been true. Alec needed to go find jace

When he got to the room he was not surprised to find izzy at jaces bedside. Izzy. He had yet to talk to her since the…fight

“there you are! I was starting to think you had died” she said, pointing her most accusable stare at him

“sorry Iz, I just got busy” he went over to give her a hug, then he pulled up a chair to join them.

“how are you feeling” he asked jace, the memory of the night before coming back to him

“better until Izzy started telling me stories about her girlfriend” izzy punched his shoulder
Alec couldn’t help but smile. All the drama with Magnus made him forget what this week was really about, his family. And for the first time in three days they were all together and alone. Jace was feeling better, izzy was no longer yelling, they were all going to be okay

“good, im glad” Alec forced himself to look away from the black eye and bandages

“I cant believe he did that, I thought jordan was better then that. Which was stupid considering he was trained by the self absorbed ass hole that is magnus bane” jace said, venom in his voice. He must be feeling better because he was back to talking shit about things he didn’t understand

“it wasn’t Magnus fault” Alec said sternly. Suddenly feeling the need to defend him
Jace and izzy both looked at him with shocked expressions. Slowly Izzy faded to sympathy, jaces just got wider

“what do you mean it was not Magnus fault? It was HIS fighter, not the other way around. Someone had to teach him how to do that” Jace was getting louder by the word.

“it wasn’t his fault okay, He didn’t show Jordan that move, he learnt it from Al or someone at the gym” Alec was really defending Magnus to his brother, he was picking his side over jaces. Jace seemed to get more irritated about it

“Alec, you realize that you are defending magnus while I am literally sitting in a hospital bed because one of his fighters, right?” Alec looked down at the floor. He might not see eye to eye with magnus but it was not his fault that jace was where he is now

“yeah…yeah I know. But Trust me, it wasn’t his fault” it was that moment that Alec realized he really did believe magnus, it wasn’t his fault.

“what the HELL happened last night for you to be okay with this” jace had pure disbelief on his face. Izzy just looked at him with understanding

“it dosent matter, but if you trust me, then you’ll believe me” it was his coaching voice, the one he used when he dident want people to argue with him. Jace heard it too

“fine, then where is magnus now? Wheres jordan?”

“im sure Jordan is off celebrating his victory and getting ready to fight. Last I heard Magnus was trying to catch some sleep” Alec checked his phone on impulse
Jace just looked at him, not knowing what to say

“you dident .Alec. what the hell man! This is Magnus Fucking Bane we are taking about. Get your head out of his ass and have some common sense”

“jace!” izzy piped in from beside him
All the blood left his face. He just looked at him trying to find the words but not finding any. He knew jace was just upset about what had happened, that he blew his big chance to be a fighter and that he thought Alec was defending the person responsible for this mess. He dose not respond

“what, are you embarrassed that we know your little secret that you thought you were hiding so well”
Jace knew he had gone too far the moment he said it, regret washed over his face leaving it paler then It had been before. Izzy looked at him with a look at could kill

“Alec—”

“no, im going to go see what’s going on” he said as he got up.

what was supposed to be a good morning with his family somehow turned cold. He needed some air, he needed to get away from them, from Magnus and jace and everyone else.

Jace called his name as he left but he dident turn around. He just needed to get away

He went for the roof. It was the only place he knew he would not have to deal with anyone. On his way there he walked past magus and Jordan in a spare fight room, looking to be having what looked like a screaming match with each other about ethics and morals, Alec just kept walking and he walked until he was on the roof alone. He sat down on one of the chairs

Jace knew. Which meant Izzy knew. How could he have been so stupid as to think that they weren’t going to find out? Its not like he was super subtle about it, with all his glances that lasted too long, his uninterest in girls who were clearly all over him. For god’s sake when he suddenly wrote Magnus out of his life seemingly out of the blue. How could he ever think that they wouldn’t know, that this secret was truly only his? He hid his face in his hands, not wanting to think about it anymore or what it meant. He didn’t want to think about jace or magus, or anything!

“I thought I’d find you up here” says a familiar voice from the door way. He knew she would come

“leave me alone iz” he said. not wanting her to see him break
Instead of leaving she just sat down beside him and said nothing.
The two sat there in silence for a while before she spoke

“you know, the day I told dad I was inlove with nik was the scariest day of my life. It didn’t matter that I thought It was fake, a part of me knew it was something more. i knew that everything would be different after, and it was, but not in a bad way” she stared ahead , her eyes looking at the past. Alec said nothing

“jace didn’t mean what he said. Hes just mad at the world right now” she put her hand on his shoulder

“how long have you known?” he whispered, ignoring her statement about jace He was sitting like a child, his head resting on his folded arms.

“four years” Alec turned to look at her. four years. She had known his life changing secret for four years. He felt like a fool

“how?”

“Magnus got drunk one night and phoned me in tears. He told me everything” she looked almost guilty. Like she knew something she was never supposed to. Alec didn’t know what to say. She didn’t just know about him, she knew everything. Everything he had tried to hard to keep secret. Before he let his mind fall into that he had to know one more thing

“jace?” he didn’t want to know the answer

“a couple months, he just kind of pieces it together on his own. That boy is smarter then he give him credit for” she laughed at that, Alec stayed silent. There was nothing he could say. Suddenly he felt ashamed. Not because she knew but because he dident tell her, he should have told her

“im sorry” he said, not knowing whatelse he could possible say
She took his face in her hands so he had to look at her

“you listen to me Alec, there is nothing to be sorry for. Im sorry. Im sorry that you had to go through all of that alone, that you had to go through heart break and love and everything that goes with it all by yourself. But im here now, so is jace. Your not alone anymore” he looked at her as tears silently slide down his face. It was stupid to cry, but he couldent help it. He dident say anything, instead he leaned in and held his sister tight. She ran her fingers through his hair, letting his get out any emotion he needed too. He felt safe in his sisters arms, like nothing could ever touch him. She whispers sweet nothings as they rock back and forth, something she knows calms him. They stayed like that for an unknowing amount of time before she pulled away

“but just between us, what happened with Magnus last night? Alec could not help but laugh at the blunt question following such a sincere moment. He leand up against the wall again

“nothing Iz,” she gave him a look that said ‘try again’

“I had a nightmare. Jace was dead, magnus was dead,” he swallowed down the rising panic “I woke up in a panic, I couldn’t breath, it was awful. Magus just woke me up and calmed me down” she said nothing, telling him without words that there must be more to the story

“we ended up going for coffee. That’s it. We sat in the little coffee shop down stairs until dawn, that’s all there is to it” Alec looked at her with fake annoyance, she looked back with kind eyes

“ How are you feeling about that?” like he didn’t want to talk about it that’s how.

He sighed

True be told he didn’t know how he felt about it. It was about a hundred different feelings all at once that he could not tell what was real and what was a wish. Last night was honestly the most at ease he had felt all weekend. It was something familiar and solid in his world that was spinning out of control at the moment. But he couldn’t think of magnus without thinking about the heartbreak, about how magnus cant be trusted like that. It was honesty a lot of confusing thoughts that did not all make sense. Maybe magnus was not as terrible as Alec wanted to believe he was

“i…I don’t know” he let his hand hang in defeat. He didn’t know. He sister stayed quiet, letting him collect his thoughts

“I don’t know. That’s the truth. I want to hate him. I really do, but then last night he was there, even though he had no reason to be. He yelled at jordan, he was beside me at the
hospital. He is doing all these things that he doesn’t have to be doing and I want to hate him, I want to hate him more than anything for what he did, but I cant. I cant hate him and I hate myself for that”
He hadn’t meant to say all of that, had not even known he was thinking it until it came out. But every word was true

“have you ever heard Magnus side of the story? Not that im defending him. I almost drove over and killed him when he told me but have you ever heard it?” she dident look at him with pity anymore, just understanding

“no. I never wanted to hear it, I couldn’t hear it” it was true. Alec had walked away and never looked back. He had dived into fighting head first in order to not think or feel anything. Eventually it just became life. Magnus became this other thing, something that was not a person but this monster who he was lucky to get away from. It was the only way that Alec could get over it. He felt stupid. It has been less then four days and he is falling apart and questioning everything

“maybe you should” he looked at her

“no, no. its nothing more then familiar attachment. He saw me in a venerable moment and I was not able to make him into the bad guy.” A part of him didn’ti want to make him into the bad guy again.

“maybe because you didn’t want him to be anymore.”
Alec thought about that. He didn’t want to hate magnus anymore, he never realized how exhausting it was, he was tired of it

“whatever you do, we are hear for you. You should talk to jace though. If he was able to he would have been up here way before me” he knew jace probably felt like shit about it, but just as he was about to respond he got a text.

“I talked to jordan, meet in ballroom? -M”
He knew that he needed to face him eventually, needed to face jordan, he sighed

“magnus needs us” izzy gave him a small smile.

“then lets go”

They get up and go

Chapter Text

hey guys!!! I am in fact alive and still updating this! I came down with the flu last week and was unable to do anything other the sit on my coach watching Netflix! I plan on updating this story tomorrow though so be ready for it!! thank you so much for reading this story this far!!

Chapter Text

It takes him longer then it should to find magnus and Jordan, mostly because he thought they would be together. But instead he sees Jordan standing near the ring, getting ready to fight, and, magnus sitting in the corner of the room with something like rage on his face. Alec gives his sister a look that says “go talk to Jordan, I got magnus”. She nods and leaves.

Slowly Alec approaches magnus, like a animal that may rip your head off if you do the wrong thing.

“hey…” he says, sitting down on the floor across from him, his distance on purpose. He can basically see the steam coming from magnus head. He looks up, his eyes dark. He seems so different from the man he sat across from earlier that day

“I took care of Jordan.” His voice was low and calculated. Alec didn’t know what to do, or what to say. Suddenly nervous. He knew they had to talk, but before they could talk Alec needed to understand what he was feeling, but he couldn’t do that until they talked!!! You know, that doesn’t matter right now.

“what…happened?” he waited for magnus to speak while looking over his should to see izzy having a deep conversation with Jordan. Magnus takes a couple breaths before answering

“not right now, but its dealt with” magnus seemed to be back to himself, not wanting to show the world how he really feels. It was something he and magnus could agree on. Alec nodded his head, making a mental note to ask about it later. In a bold move, alec puts his hand on magnus knee, trying to say that he gets it.

“what do you want to do now?” he says, after his conversation with izzy, he realizes hes done hating magnus. Magnus just looked at him, surprised by his sudden change of attitude.

“well alexander we are going to do nothing but sit back and watch him fight”

He looks at him a moment before answering

“are you going to corner him? He asks carefully, a part of him already knowing the answer

“no.” Magnus did not look at him, only looked ahead at the ring

“okay”

He wondered what had happened between the two of them for magnus to not corner him, which is his job as a coach, whatever happened he had to trust the magnus had made the right choice. A part of him felt guilty, if he would not have been so crazy about jace being injured or if they had not been sharing a room, maybe things would have been different. But they weren’t.

The two of them moved from the corner in the back and found seats in the back of the room to watch him fight

“are you nervous?” Alec asked

“no” is all he said

Okay. Now was not the time to talk to magnus.

despite his shortness Alec knew magnus was nervous, it was impossible not to be. Its like your child getting in the ring, you train them and watch them grow, you watch them break down and cry, and you pick them back up afterwards. They might be fighting right now but magnus and Jordan trained and partied together, they sweat together and probably cried together. Magnus was no doubt utterly terrified right now, no matter how hard he tried to hide it.
Jordan walks up to the ring and Alec cant help but think about what he must be going through. He must be absolutely terrified. He is all alone, with no one in his corner. Your corner man Is your life line when your in the ring. They tell you what to do during the fight, their voice Is the only thing that grounds you, that keeps you focus. After the round they rub your legs and calm you down, they give you water. When you are in the ring you are depended on your corner man, and now Jordan is in there all along. Alec felt bad for his despite everything. A part of him wished that jace could see the fight, the fight that would have been his if Jordan wouldn’t have don’t what he did. He felt izzys hand on his shoulder, a constant present telling him it was about to begin

“here we go” he said

-

The fight started off strong, both sides throwing hard, they both looked sharp. the difference was that Jordan was throwing anything he could think of, nothing was calculated or thought threw, he was throwing anything he thought would land. Were as his opponent was throwing exactly what his coach was telling him to. It was an advantage. They went back and forth the first round, Jordan taking shots and giving them right back. Alec looked over to magnus and he was on the edge of his seat. If you listened closely you could hear him saying things under his breath. Alec thought it was almost better to watch magnus then the fight. He himself was strangely anxious about it, he never did like watching anyone he knew fight. There is nothing you can do for them when they are in the ring, not one thing. He didn’t like giving up control like that, so it was easier to watch the fight looking at magnus, watching his reactions. It was also nice to just look at magnus.

The first round ended and he saw magnus take a breath for the first time in probably the entire first round. When magnus turns his head he caught Alecs stair. Alec feels the heat rush to his face as he turns his head so he is looking forward. Magnus dosent comment. He must be really nervous

“he is doing really well. His hands are up, hes moving well, he is doing good” Alec says. Firm and confident so that magnus believes him

Magnus looks at him and just nods his head. Yep, hes really nervous

“hes doing good” is all he says.

As the second round starts magnus draws a breath and it starts again
The second round goes the same as the first, both sides trading shots, Jordan looking sloppy without his coaches instruction, but other all it was good. Or so he thinks. Alec spend fifty percent at the time looking at magnus. Its not the third round that things change

It starts off good, like all rounds do. They trade shots but Alec sees that Jordan is tired, he is fading, his hands are dropping. Magnus sits up straighter, his breath stuck in his throat.

“put your hands up” he yells. He looks shocked, like he didn’t mean to say anything but he dosent take it back, but its too late.

The punch feels like it comes in slow motion. Alec sees it coming before Jordan does. It’s a beautiful right hand, perfectly placed, perfect power, it’s the perfect punch and it hits Jordan square in the jaw. That’s all it takes. Jordan is falling before anyone even knows what happened.
He hears magnus gasp from beside of him, his hand almost on reflect grabs onto Alec’s jacket. Shockingly tight. Magnus doesn’t breath, doesn’t move, he just waits. Alec cant take his eyes off magnus, trying to think of what to do, what to say. Nothing, there is nothing Alec can say and he knows it. Instead he dose the only thing he can think to do in the moment. He takes magnus hand, the one attached to his jacket and he holds it tight. It’s the only comfort Alec can think of. It breaks magnus trance on, he looks at Alec, shock written on his face, but Alec just nods. Now is not the time for conversations. Magnus just grips his hand tighter.
The reef dose his count, waiting for Jordan to get up, to move, to do anything but all he dose is lay there. But then he moves. Magnus breaths, and loosens his grip on Alecs hand.

Hes okay. The fight is over, they all know it, but hes okay. Magnus sits back in his seat, his face a little pale but he is also going to be okay

“hes alright magnus” Alec says, his voice small and soft

The look magnus gives him is something else. Its full of so many things; fear, relief, hope, love. It’s the softest and most painful thing Alec has ever seen, but he cant look away. He knows he should, knows that he cant get caught up in this again but god its easy to.

“thank you alexander” says magnus, looking down at their still joined hands. Alec looks away, if he didn’t he risked imploding. Jordan was on his feet now, walking out of the ring. It was a good sign that we was walking. It only then became weird that they were still holding hands, but a part of Alec really dident want to let go, dident want to lose the painfully familiar weigh of it, but He dosent have to, magnus lets go when he stands up.

“well, I think I have to go talk to my poor fighter” magnus looked to where Jordan was sitting across the room, getting looked at by a doctor, he was looking at magnus the same way a child looks at there mom when they are sick, and magnus was looking at Jordan the same way

“go help the poor boy” Alec said, knowing he had to go talk to jace about earlier. He didn’t like leaving things like that with anyone, let alone jace

“alright then alexander, meet you at the room later? “ magnus ask. Alec knew they had to talk

“yeah, yeah ill see you then” he watches magnus walk, or really run away. He pushed his way through the crowd of people until hes standing in front of Jordan. He thinks he can see Jordan say he was sorry; he must have because in the next second magnus was kneeling in front on him embracing him in a hug. The relationship between fighter and coach is something deep, something real. There was no way magnus or Jorden could stay mad at each other after that. Alec shock his head and turned to wall away, but his sister stood in his way, a wicket smile on her face

“and you really think that you hate him? I almost threw up watching that”

“whatever” he couldent help but smile. He dident hate magnus, not even close

---

He knew he had to go talk to jace, that he couldn’t leave things that way nor did he want to but he didn’t know what he would say, or how to say it. What could he say, “hey sorry for keeping this HUGE secret from you for, oh I don’t know MY ENITRE LIFE” yeah, this was going to be hard. Hes honestly a little but tired of talking to people about life changing things, all he does it feels like is have deep conversations with everyone, magnus, izzy, jace. Everyone seems to wants to throw him a curve ball these days, he’s excited to talk to jace, to get it over with so he can relax for a moment. Oh. And talk to magnus

He walks as slow as he can, trying to figure out what he was going to say, but he eventually got to the door. slowly he opened it

“Alec!” jace said as soon as Alec came into view. Jace was sitting up on the bed, looking like he was five seconds away from jumping out of it. Alec didn’t say anything, just silently sat in the chair beside the bed. Jace was happy to see him, that was a good start

“I didn’t know if you were going to come, I was about to crawl my way out of here” jace looked worried Alec noticed. He didn’t know what to say

“of course I came jace” is all he said, looking at the ground.

“Alec…im, im so sorry” he said it honestly. Jace knew he went to far, that he crossed an invisible line that Alec dident realize he had drawn. But familys fight

“I know. Im not going to say that its alright, because it was a dick thing to do. But I know your sorry” Alec looked at him while he said it, wanting jace to hear every word.

“I know it was, I feel like a basterd for saying that, im sorry. That’s all I can say, im just sorry” it was quite after that, neither one of them really wanting to aproch and talk about what
Alec knew they needed to talk about . he just had this concersation with izzy what felt like minutes ago even though it had been hours, he wasent really up for another one

“look Alec, im sure izzy already talk to you. So im not going to re state what she already said but I hope you know that I love you, and that im here for you no matter what. Im sorry I said what I said but please know I am always here for you man” they were probably the most vulnerable words jace had ever said and Alec knew he meant every word. He couldn’t stay mad at jace

“thank you,” he swallowed the lump in his throat “thank you jace. Im sorry I didn’t tell you, about all of it. Me, magnus, I should have told you about it” Alec looked at the ground, feeling the same thing as when he told izzy almost the exact same words earlier that day

“Magnus? What do you mean?” jace was suddenly confused

So izzy did not fill him in on everything, jace did not know everything. Alec felt the blood rush to his face as he looked at jace like a deer caught in headlights

“well you see, it was um, you know we…Magnus well…” he went on, trying to find the right things to say, the right words to strong together in order to tell jace this bomb shell. He
didn’t need to apparently because jace started laughing

“you and Magnus. You, Alec Lightwood who has done nothing but state how Magnus Bane is your mortal enemy, hooked up with said enemy” jace seemed to think this was pretty funny. Alec looked down at the ground, not saying anything. Jace looked at him and suddenly stopped laughing

“you dident just hook up, did you? It was something more” he had stopped laughing, now genuinely asking him. Alec continued to look down tat the ground, not wanting to look jace in the eye this current moment

“how long?” was all jace said as a follow up.

“three years” he mumbled under his breath. It was weird to tell someone that, he had never told anyone about magnus and it was hard for him to talk about it now, even with jace. Especially because of his increasingly painful situation with magnus

“three years…you dated magnus bane for three years. How did I not know!!!” jace wasn’t mad at Alec he realized, he was mad at himself

“I should have seen it, or when you broke up, how did I not know. Alec im sorry you had to go through all of that alone, I cant imagine how painful that must have been” Alec was
surprised again by jaces honesty, he was usually the kind of guy that made jokes about serious situations and laughed at funerals, yet here he was looking at Alec with nothing but pure honesty in his voice. Last week it would have made his head spin, yet here he was, feeling nothing but familiar love. What was wrong with him. Truth be told it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. There were so many nights that he wanted to tell someone, anyone about him, about what had happen. When he was heartbroken and drunk on his kitchen floor all alone all he wanted was someone to tell him he would be okay be okay. But no one was there, he had to pull himself together and save himself

Alec let go of a breath he hadn’t known he had been holding

“it…was honestly terrible, it fucking sucked not telling you or izzy about it. I was all alone, I had to deal with every fight, every hardship, every break up all on my own and it sucked. But it wasn’t all bad. when it was good, it was absolutely amazing. It was fun, and romantic and easy. We had routines and traditions, inside jokes and nicknames. It was everything we are taught to believe love is supposed to be” Alec hadn’t meant to say all of that, but it was like once he started talking he couldn’t stop, finally able to tell someone about him

“what happened, if you don’t mind me asking” said jace carefully, not wanting to say the wrong thing, obviously glad Alec was opening up and sharing. Alec waited before answering

“he cheated on me. it took ten minutes for everything we had to be gone” Alec doesn’t look at jace as he talks, his mind in the past. Walking away that night and never going bacl. He didn’t even go back for the stuff he left at magnus apartment, he just left.

“he tried to call me, to find me at work, but I never responded, I couldn’t-I couldn’t” Alec had a heavy feeling in his chest at the thought. It was some of the darkest months of his life. He drank and partied, he trained until his hands bled, even then he kept going. He did anything he could possibly do in order to not think about him

“that son of a bitch… Alec..” jace didn’t know what to say to him

“I swear to god im going to punch him In the face the second I get out of here” jace was mad again, his eye seeing red. Alec couldn’t help but laugh

“no you wont. It was five years ago, we aren’t kids anymore” it was true, he was not twenty-two anymore, they weren’t the same people they had been

“oh my god, your sharing a room with him” the realization of the situation seemed to slap jace in the face as he remembered how its really his own fault that Alec is sharing with magnus in the first place. Alec laughed at that too but said nothing, only shake his head

“how are you holding up?” that was a complicated question

“im good, yeah im good. I mean its confusing and a bit painful to say the lest.. jace I don’t know what to do” Alec had always gone to jace when he was in trouble, when things were out of control , he could always talk to jace and now that he knew about magnus, he couldn’t help but confide in him again, like when they were kids

“I want to hate him, god I want to hate him so bad but I just don’t! when Jordan fought today I held his hand because I wanted him to know I was here for god sakes!! It doesn’t matter how much time went by, whenever hes around it feels like nothing has changed. We fall back into habits and conversations. I don’t know what im supposed to do, I cant trust him, he is not a good person but god do I want him to be” Alec might as well get everything off his chest. Jace just let him rant, not really knowing what to say but also willing to try and say something

“Alec, I think you need to talk to him” is all he said. Alec knew he was right, he did need to talk to him but he also dident want to. He dident want to trust him, but then again five years is along time, it was all very confusing

“I know” he said.

After that conversation they went on to talk about Jordan’s fight, about jaces recovery, they also talked about stupid stuff like what they were going to do once jace was okay enough to do anything, they had three days left in Florida and they were going to make them worth wild.

Chapter Text

It was dark outside by the time Alec left jace to get some rest. He honestly contemplated going back to jaces empy hotel room so that he woulent have to have yet another conversation with another person, but he couldent avoid him forever, he dident want to. On his way to the room, he stopped at the coffee shop from the night before to grab him self a coffee, and Magnus a hot chocolate, he figured it was going to be a long night.
When he got to the room, Magnus was there waiting for him, awake for the first time that weekend. He walked into the room and put the drinks on the table. Magnus was sitting on the bed with his legs folded under him like a child. His hair was no longer upright and gelled, it was lose, Alec knew it would be soft to the touch. He looked away

“I uh, brought you a drink” he said, gesturing to the drink. Magnus looked at him, then the drink like he dident quite know want to do. Alec dident blame him, he was giving himself whiplash with his change in emotions, let alone Magnus

“thank you alexander” he said, taking a sip of the drink
A defining silence came over them, neither of them wanted to start the conversation, Alec was the first to speak

“did you sort everything out with jordan?” that was na easy place to start

Magnus moved from his spot so that he was sitting on the edge of the bed across from Alec, they two now face to face. He leaned back on his arms

“I did thank you” he says, Alec can tell that hes nervous. He knows everything has changed between them, another invisible line no one knew was crossed until it was too late

“if you don’t mind me asking, what the hell did you say to him this morning” says Alec, trying his best to power through the tense mood

Magnus seems to relax a little bit at that

“of course I don’t mind you asking,” he smiles before continuing “I told him exactly what he needed to hear. I told him what he did was discrasefull. He disrespected me, my gym, and
you. I told him he was an embarrassment to the sport, that if he sure be thanking his lucky stars that he dident do more damage. Maybe it was harsh but it was true. Dear boy dident seem to like any of that so he said if I disagreed with him so much then I should just fuck off, so that’s exactly what I did” Magnus looked Alec in the eye while saying his speech and it somehow made it all the more dangerus. Magnus might have been harsh, but that’s how he was, he could be cold as ice if he needed to be.

“thank you” is all Alec said, all he could think to say. Magnus went after jordan, something Alec dident ever think he would do, he went agasint his own fighter because he hurt Alecs. The two stair at each other while another silence takes hold. There was no more avoiding this, it was time and they both knew it.

“Magnus—” Alec starts but he is cut off

“no, let me go first,” Magnus says. He takes a breath before continuing. Alec holds his breath

“Alec, I honestly don’t know what to say” that was not what Alec thought was coming, he couldent help but let out a laugh. He let Magnus go on

“three days ago you wanted to through me out the window, which is fair. And today you held my hand when you thought my fighter was hurt. Im not judging, by any means im not judging you but I honestly don’t know what is happening, what changed between us but something has changed” Magnus was not shy, he was saying what was on his mind, and he
was saying it confidently, Alec knew it was because he was trying not to lose his nerve

“jace and Izzy found out, or more so jace found out. Izzy already knew” he dident look at Magnus, he couldn’t. He dident have to say what he was talking about, he knew Magnus knew

“they..they know…” Magnus just looked at him, trying to find the right words, trying not to go to far. They were both toeing a line they couldn’t pass

“wait, Izzy….oh” Magnus suddenly remembering the night he confessed everything to her, Alecs shocked he can recall that night

“its okay, im glad they do, something has changed between us Magnus, I don’t hate you, I never did. Being around you, and then Izzy and jace finding out and all of it is just one giant bloop in my head,” its easy to talk to him, it always was “I don’t know how to act around you, or what to say” he needs to shut up.
Alec looks up and Magnus is staring at him with a new light in his eyes, Alec cant look away, he needs to know. He asks the question he has been too scared to ask for five years

“Magnus, what happen that night?”

The question seemed to take him by surprise even though it shouldn’t have, this is always were the conversation was heading. Magnus looked at him a second, the light in his eyes remains, this is the moment he had been waiting for since they broke up, a chance to explain his side of the story. Magnus sat up.

“it was a normal night,” Alec knew that part. He let Magnus continue

“we were out dancing at that club out of town, the one we went to every Saturday night. The only difference this time was that it wasn’t just us. Jonathan and Simon were there too, it was looking to be a very promising night” he smirked, he looked at Alec as he talked but he dident see him, he was looking at the past. The names he mentions make Alecs heart hurt, he had forgotten about them. Jonathan and Simon were both fighters at Prodigy, and Alec had gotten close to both of them over the time he knew Magnus, when they broke up he lost touch with them, he wished he would have tried harder not to.

“we flipped a coin for who had to stay sober and it was you who had to watch us have all the fun. It was a fun night indeed. We drank so much that night, I’m sure there was a reason for it that I don’t remember, but all I know is I needed to be drunk “ he laughed at that, they both did. Alec didn’t remember a lot from that night because of the liquor cabinet he drank when he got home, but he remembered Magnus standing on the table of the bar belting out the national anthem.

“it was all wonderful. We were young, drunk and in love with being alive. We danced for what felt like hours…” Alec knew what part of the story he was at. The pause was because he didn’t want to say it. Magnus looked at him, really looked at him like he was begging him not to leave this time, to let him explain it fully. Alec nodded his head and took a breath

Magnus looked at his hands

“I was drunk, far too drunk. We were dancing and you came up behind me. I knew it was you because I could smell the stupid cologne you used to wear, the one that smelt like leather and smoke. It was dark in the club, but I knew it was you. You put your hands around me from behind so I turned around, feeling nothing but bliss,” Alec didn’t know where he was going with this. He never danced with Magnus that night. He could barely dance when he was piss drunk, let alone completely sober.

“I grabbed your neck and we danced. We were so close that there was no space between us, we were caught in our own little bubble of bliz. I kissed your neck, to drunk to think. You ducked your head and kissed me properly, but it was so wrong, suddenly I was sober.” Magnus was playing with his ring, unable to look him in the face. Alec couldn’t move

“because it wasn’t you dancing with me. If I was sober, I would have realized that you never would have been there sober, but I was so fucking drunk, and the club was so dark I dident realize it until he kiss me. He kissed me and when I opened my eyes it wasn’t you standing there, it was Jonathan.”

Alec didn’t know what to do. Jonathan kissed Magnus. Magnus thought it was him. He couldn’t put the words together, couldn’t understand what Magnus was saying.

“remember how we all met at my place before hand? Jonathan had made a big deal that he didn’t want to go out because he was at the gym and “smelt like a dog who rolled around
in shit” so he used half a bottle of your cologne that you left at my place? I thought it was you….i thought it was you. And then everything moved so fast. You were standing there, heartbreak written on your face running away. I was still drunk and push Jonathan away when he tried to kiss me again. I followed you out of the club, but you were gone. And that was it. Of course, I didn’t go back inside, I stayed out there, a part of me was waiting for you to come back.” Magnus couldn’t look at him, to ashamed of what he did. His face was twisted in guilt.

the truth finally in the air after five years of silence. Five years of wondering what he could have done better, why he wasn’t enough. Five years of tearing himself apart and making this false reality in his mind of what could have happened that night, that Magnus was a monster who could never be happy, all of that for this. For a drunken mistake in a dark and crowded club. For it to be one of his closest friends

“what-what happened to Jonathan?” that was not the question he had meant to ask but it was all his mind could come up with. Magnus stared at him, not knowing how to respond, obviously ready for different questions

“jonathan—nothing happened with Jonathan Alec, nothing except the next day when I punched him in the face. That was it with him too” Magnus looked at him with nothing but sadness in his eyes, like a wounded puppy . It was heartbreaking to look at. Alec couldn’t get his thoughts together. Magnus didn’t cheat on him with some random guy at a bar because he was bored. He made a drunken mistake because he thought it was him. He thought it was him. Alec let out a laugh, the kind that happened at funerals or hospital beds, the kind that you let out because its better then crying. He had to laugh at the irony of it all

“im glad you think the worst night of my life is funny alexander” said Magnus, not really knowing what to do. Hes trying to pour his heart out and Alec is laughing

“its not funny, its utterly devastating really. Its just…that’s it. That’s the dark secret I’ve been thinking about for five years, nothing but a stupid drunk mistake” he didn’t want to laugh, he wanted to run away or cry, He destroyed everything over a drunken mistake. He walked away and left his life behind over nothing

“I tried to call you” Magnus says, he himself not knowing what to say

“and I blocked the number” Alec felt like he was drunk. He was overwhelmed with everything. Magnus was not a terrible person who destroyed everything, he was a human being who messed up with no malice intent at all. It was truly nothing more than a drunken mistake that if he would have just let him explained, they could have worked through

“oh god I think I’m going to throw up” he says. Everything was spinning a little bit. It was his fault, he was the reason they didn’t work out, not the other way around. Alec did what he always does and ran away and it destroyed the only real thing he had ever had. Magnus was never the bad guy, he was. he couldn’t breath suddenly. It was his fault all along.

“Alec, hey look at me” Magnus said. Alec had not even realized that he closed his eyes. He opened them, searching for Magnus’s. it felt like his whole world was crashing down around him

“it was my fault” he mumbled. He was suddenly filled with such regret that it threaten to drown him. His breath was coming out in short bursts. Everything he thought was wrong.

“alexander, it wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong. I broke us” it was then Alec realized that Magnus had been living with all of the feelings he had right now for the last five years. No wonder he called Izzy drunk and partied so much. Alec could not imagine five years of the horrible feeling he had now.

“im sorry” he said, everything he thought was wrong, Magnus was not the bad guy and because of him Magnus had felt like this every day for the past five years. Before Alec could spiral anymore then he had, Magnus slipped off the bed and suddenly Alec was being hugged. He couldn’t think for a moment, didn’t move. But slowly he reacted and soon he was holding onto him like a life line. He was overwhelmed with the familiar smell of him, sandal wood and almonds. It had been five years since he felt Magnus arms around him, the safety of it. He pushed his face into the crook of his neck.

“im so sorry” Magnus said, slowly moving his hands up and down Alecs back, the same way his did on his hands to calm him down. Alec didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to say it., there were no words to say that would be enough.

“im sorry” he mumbled. There was nothing he could say, yet so much that he needed to say.

“don’t be sorry” Magnus said softly, holding onto him impossibly tighter.

Time seemed to stop. Neither knew how long they stayed like that but neither wanted to lose the moment for fear that there might not be another one. It wasn’t until Alecs phone rang that the moment was broken. He pulled away, immediately missing the contact. He grabbed his phone from the table

“its Izzy” he mumbled as he answered it.

“Alec!!! Where are you? I couldn’t find you after the fight” she sounded concerned

“yeah, yes sorry” Alec ran his hand through his hair. His thoughts were a mess. He needed to stop looking at Magnus and focus on his sister

“yeah I’m in my room” he said. Magnus didn’t move from infront of him, only sat there smiling

“with Magnus?! Did you guys finally talk? What happened? Are you okay” she was speaking way to fast for him to understand, but he laughed as the blood rushed to his face. He knew
Magnus could hear everything she was saying

“yes Izzy, ill talk to you about it later” he didn’t want to have this conversation right now in front of Magnus. Izzy didn’t seem to care

“did he tell you what happened?! Are you guys okay again or are you still in hatred and destroyed mood” he rolled his eyes

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now” Alec looked back at Magnus and smiled. Now that he had heard what happened, that Magnus was not the bad guy suddenly everything was different

“fine, but both of you get down here! Im tired of sitting in his stupid hotel so we are all going out. There is a night fair market down the road” it wasn’t a question he realized, it was a request

“fine, we will be there in five” he hung up the phone and sat there for a second before talking

“Izzy wants to go to some night market down the road, you in?” he didn’t really want to leave. There was still so much to talk about and figure out but he could really use some fresh air

“it sounds like an adventure. Of course, I’m in” there was a giddiness to Magnus that Alec had forgot existed, he looked like a child who was seeing the sun for the first time after a dark winter. Alec was sure his own expression matched.

“then lets go”

When they got down stairs Izzy and Jordan were already waiting for them by the door. of course, Jordan was coming with them. Its not that Alec was avoided him it was more so he didn’t know what to say to him, but he couldn’t wait forever because eventually the two groups became one

“lets gooooo!!” Izzy said as she ran through the door like a child. Magnus gave Alec a quick glance before running after her laughing. That left Alec and Jordan in the back. It was awkward to say the lest, eventually Jordan spoke

“Alec, I would like to apologize, it was wrong what I did and im sorry” he looked so young when he said that, Alec couldn’t hold a grudge anymore, not right now when things were starting to look up. He put his hand on Jordan’s shoulder

“its okay jordan, stuff happens. Lets catch up to them shall we” with that they ran to get the rest of the group

The night market was…something else. There was live music in the air, fairy lights lighting up the dark night. There was a Ferris wheel and a two hundred feet tall swing ride. It was something out of a movie.

“this is quite something isn’t it?” Magnus said from behind him. He looked at him as Magnus looked around. The lights made his skin into gold. Alec smiled again

They group ended up finding a little milkshake shop covered in fairy lights and plants. Alec and Izzy found a place to sit while Jordan and Magnus ordered

“so what happened between you two” she said. Somehow It was easier to talk out here. The warm air wrapping around him like a blanket, the music filling his ears

“we talked. He told me what happened that night, I was an idiot iz” he didn’t feel the panic from earlier

“you did what you had to do. So what now?” he looked at Magnus standing in line, waiting for there food, he looked stunning. Alec blushed

“I don’t know” and it was true. He had no idea what would happen now but when Magnus looked over and caught his stair, he wasn’t scared for it. Everything was different now,

Magnus was not the bad guy. Yes, he partied and drank and knew how to have a good time but he didn’t hurt Alec on purpose, he never would have done that. Magnus never was the monster Alec made him to be. He was thoughtful and kind and he would have done anything for him if he asked. Magnus was not the bad guy, Alec was.
Izzy didn’t say anything else because she knew. They sat in silence as they waited.
The milkshake was the best thing Alec had ever tasted he decided. Maybe it was the place that made it better but at that moment he was filled with such contentment he didn’t care about anything.

“this is the best thing I have ever had in my life” said Magnus from beside him, looking like he was in love with the food in front of him, it was a beautiful thing, to see someone in love with being alive.

The rest of the group agreed by moaning. It was a perfect moment. That is until Jordan spoke

“we should go on the swings!” he yelled. The whole group turned to look at them towering two hundred feet above the ground. Alecs stomach dropped just looking at it

“im in” Izzy said. Alec shot her a death glare. His sister was always a thrill seeker, when they were younger, she cracked her head open trying to ride her bike down a set of stairs.
When they got back from the hospital, she tried it again so of course this fair ride would seem like nothing. Alec on the other hand was not like that. He looked at the swings and saw the very thin chain that held the chair to the machine.

“I’m not sure about this” but it was too late. Izzy and Jordan were already walking to the ride from hell. All he wanted was one minute of rest, was that too much to ask. Magnus must sense his fear because he laughs. Alec ignored him and got up to follow the group.

He walked as slow as he possible could over to the ride, but sooner then he wanted they were standing in lines, getting split into groups of two as the chairs were made for two people together. Something about It being safer that way. Izzy very unsubtlety ran up to Jordan to make sure she would be with him. Alec rolled his eyes. It didn’t take long before they were belted into the seats, Alec gripping onto the very thin chain that held his life.

“you sure you want to do this?” Magnus said.

“to late to turn back now” he said through gritted teeth. He by no means wanted to do this. This was the last thing on earth he ever wanted to do

“aren’t you scared of heights” Magnus asks off the top of his head

Alec grips the chair tighter as an answer

The ride starts, and Alec closes his eyes. He was in fact scared of heights. There was just no need for them really, there was no reason anyone should ever be that heigh in the air for no reason

He felt Magnus move beside him

“don’t move” he said, the words were forced through his teeth. He didn’t want to do this

They were slowly going around in circle, slowly it starting to move upwards

“I hate this” Alec said, to scared to hid it anymore. Magnus grabbed his hand

“it will be okay” he smiled at him and Alec focuses on that as they continued to raise up. The higher up they got the faster they started to spin; it took what felt like forever to get to the top. By that point Alecs had his eyes shout and was hiding his face in Magnus shoulder. This was literally his worst nightmare, he was too scared to move as that chain was just so thin

“Alec, I think you should look” Magnus said loudly so that Alec would hear him over the wind

“nope” he said back

“look up, you wont regret it darling” Alec forgot his panic for a moment at the pet name but soon he was very slowly lifting up his head

“now open your eyes” Alec gripped his hand tighter before he opened his eyes, the sight took his breath away. He could see everything. The city, the hotel, he saw the hundreds of people walking on the ground. The lights against the dark of night was beautiful. it was breath taking. He looked at everything, no longer scared of falling

“there’s the hotel!” he said, pointing at the building which seems so far away. He felt like nothing could hurt him up here, like he was above all the mundane problems that awaited him at the bottom. How could he have ever been scared of this? He heard Izzy scream form the chair fifteen feet in front of him, her arms raised to the sky. Before he could think differently, he yelled into the sky with no one but the moon to judge him. He let go of everything, the pain the stress, he fears, he let it all go as he yelled. He looked back to Magnus, feeling the magic of a child and found that Magnus was already looking at him with a found expression

“this is amazing” he said. This was a moment right out of the YA book Magnus had been trying to read all weekend.

“it is” Magnus responded, never taking his eyes off Alec. How could Alec ever have thought he hated him, there is no version of him in any word that could hate Magnus Bane. He griped his hand tighter. Alec looked back at the city, and he was happy. He didnet care about anything in that moment other than Magnus hand in his and the world going by.
Eventually they slowed down, slowly lowering back to earth. Alec sat back in his seat

“that was incredible” said Alec, looking back at Magnus. Magnus was still looking at him like there was nothing else to look at.

“I told you that you wouldn’t regret it” he said. The smile on his face was contagious

“thank you” he said. It meant more then just this moment

“thank you for listening to me” Alec knew what he meant

“Im sorry I didn’t listen to you sooner” he said quietly, as if he spoke to loud it would break the moment. If he would have listened to him sooner maybe things would be different now

“don’t ever be sorry,” said Magnus, just loud enough that Alec could hear him. Slowly he leaned in

“you have nothing to apologize for, the past is the past” they were close now, closer then they had been in years

“I should have—we could have—“ Alec didn’t get the chance to finish his thought because before he could think, Magnus closed the distance between them.. It was barely an idea of a kiss, lips hesitant and unsure, Magnus hands on each side of his face, Alec didn’t know what to do, to shocked to respond. Magnus moved away, probably to apologize but Alec moved in before he could. their lips met in a fierce kiss. There was no hesitancy, no second guessing. Alec knew exactly what he wanted and it made Magnus feel alive, he smiled into the kiss, having to pull away before being pulled right back in again, this time it was desperate, passionate and hard, like both were scared it would never happen again. It was the best kiss of Alecs life. His hands found their way into Magnus hair, pulling him impossibly closer on the little bench hundreds of feet above the ground.

“go on a date with me” Magnus said against his lips, not wanting to pull away. Alec kissed him harder as an answer

“ of course” he says anyways. He pulls away just enough so their foreheads rest together, Magnus protest the space. Alec laughs
They stay like that, huddled together on the little swing bench stuck in their own little world. So much that they don’t even notice when they were on the ground.

“holy shit” is the words that break them from there trance, reality setting in once against, Alec pulls away laughing, blood rushing to his face. He hides his face in his hands

“well look at that” says another voice from behind the first, this time its Izzy. Alec moves his hands to see Jordan looking at them like he had seen a ghost and Izzy looking at him with a proud mom face

“I told you that we talked it out” is all Alec could say. He couldn’t find it in him to care tha they saw them, that they knew. Back at home he would be having a full on panic attack and coming up with some crazy story as to why they were like that but they were thousands of miles from home in a place where no one knew his name, he couldn’t find it in him to care.

They two stood up before anyone could say anything else because the ride was well over. As they started walking to the exit, Magnus grabbed his hand.

“im so happy for you” she said as she saw there joined hands. Alec knew he looked happy, because he was. its funny how time works Alec thought. he never knew how much he missed Magnus, how he had never really moved on. It was easy to tell himself that Magnus was the bad guy, and convince himself that he was over it and okay, when really, he never was. there was a reason why he punched the bag long after his hands were bleeding, why he drank himself to sleep at night, it was because he loved someone who he thought would never really choose him. All it took was a night at a coffee shop and finding out the truth to bring everything back, all the feelings he had been trying to repress. There was so much they still needed to talk about, they had hurt each other in the worst ways they could and it couldn’t go unsaid, but right now as they walked down a brick road hand in hand, live music filling their ears, the fairy lights floating above them and their family surrounding them, for a moment everything was perfect. Almost perfect

“oh god,” his sister said “whos going to tell jace”
Before Alec could respond his phone started to ring

“its Mike, the fight Promotor of the event”

Chapter Text

“is this Alec lightwood?” mike said

Alec looked around at his friends with confusion. He walked away a little bit to create some distance

“yeah it is, what can I do for you Mike” he tried his hardest to keep the annoyance out of his voice, he wanted to get back to what he was previously doing

“yes sorry, im also sorry that I haven’t had a chance to come talk to you and your fighter. I hope hes feeling better”

“thank you, he’s is recovering well” he looked back at his group wishfully, Izzy was dancing with Jordan to the band, Magnus was looking at his phone. He wondered what he was
reading

“good good, im glad to hear it. So Alec I have a proposition for you”

“okay?”

“I have a fight card next week and my main fight just got cancelled. Steroids, so I have a title up for grabs. How would you feel about staying in Florida an extra week and saving my ass on this card? We can arrange for your coaches be brought down, we would pay for your room, what do you say?” he didn’t really know what to say. He was always ready for a fight, and a title shot would really help his fight ranking, it could be huge for him. He didn’t see why not. He looked back at his group, wanting to run it by someone before he agreed but Magnus was already looking at him. Alec didn’t recognize the look on his face, it was a mixture of panic but understand meant, but it was also sad. Alec gave him a questioning look, not knowing what could be wrong already

“id have to talk to my team about it. Is their a weight category? Do you have an opponent lined up?” Alec had to look away form Magnus in order to focuses on the current conversation

“no weight, just fight at whatever you are at. And If it all works out I have the perfect opponent for you. Als boy is in town and that hes been looking for a fight,” Alec whipped his head back to Magnus. He just stared at him, praying to anyone listening that mike was not going to say what he already knew he was going to say. “ You two are the best in the game, its about time to see who’s the real champion. What do you say?” Alec didn’t know what to do

“im going to have to get back to you mike” he was already walking back over to Magnus, not really thinking about what mike was saying to him

“of course, think it over. I need to know by tomorrow morning though so don’t think too hard” with that Alec hung up the phone. He walked over to Magnus, stopping once he was directly in front of him

“so” he said. He didn’t really know what to say. This was the shot he had been waiting for his entire life, his chance to be the best. It was what he had been waiting for yet he couldn’t fight Magnus, not now. Not when it was both of their dreams on the line, he didn’t need to think about it to know his answer

“so,” Magnus said back. His eyes searched Alecs face, trying to find any clue to what he was feeling

“Im going to say no” he said, the shock on Magnus face said that was not what he had excepted him to say

“no, this is what you have worked for, I can take a couple punches. Im tougher than I look” Magnus joked. He was smiling, trying to lighten the mood. Alec didn’t understand what he was saying

“you want to do it?” he asked

“we are both at the top of our class, if its not now then it will happen eventually, might as well get it over with” he was right, of course he was. this was inevitable. As he looked at Magnus, he didn’t know what to do

“you’ve worked your whole life for this alexander. We both know my fighting career was coming to an end anyways” Magnus was giving himself up for this. He was ready to accept defeat so Alec could win

“I couldn’t live with myself if I hurt you” he said quietly. Softly Magnus took his hands

“don’t think about it like that. Think of it as a game, we have spared tons of times, think of it like that, its just a game”

“what about this,” he griped his hand tighter to say what he meant. He had worked his whole life for this fight but he just got Magnus, had not even figured it out yet and he already had to let it go again “it will change everything”

Magnus moved so they were a breath apart.

“if you think Id let a little thing like this come between us when I just got you back, then you don’t know me at all” with that he closed the distance, their lips met in a soft kiss, a promise. Alec pulled back

“we cant tell anyone about this, not if we are going through with this fight, they cant know until its over” he felt bad for saying it, he didn’t want Magnus to think he wanted to hid him, he just knew the promotors would turn it into something twisted if they knew

“I like having you to myself anyways”

“are you sure about this?” he said, only on bored if Magnus was too

“absolutely” Magnus pulled him back in for a quick kiss before pulling away, moving towards the rest of the group

Alec dident know how to feel about this, not sure if he would be able to go through with this. He couldn’t even imagine hurting Magnus like that now, to fight with him when they had only just stopped fighting. It was a cruel trick the universe was playing on them. But Magnus was right, it only made sense for them to fight for the title, they were the best and by those terms it was there turn to fight. If he had gotten this chance last week, he would taken it with out a second thought, whether or not he could have been able to really do it once he got in the ring was a different story but things where different now, they were different now. Magnus seemed to think it was a good idea, so Alec went along with it
The first thing the group did when they got back to the hotel was find jace, they needed to come up with a plan and they needed it now. Alec was the first to bust through the door,
Magnus in tow with Izzy and Jordan following

“jace, you need to wake up right now” he threw a pillow at his head, as he pulled out enough chairs that they could all sit down

“what- what the hell Alec! It’s the middle of the night!” said jace, still half asleep and obviously unimpressed that he was getting woken up. He opened his eyes when he heard Jordan laugh, he then noticed the amount of people in the room

“Alec? What are they doing here” he gave both Jordan and Magnus a glare that would kill. Magnus looked at the ground, Jordan looked at jace

“before he starts id like to say that im sorry, it was a dick move and I apologize” jace ignored him, looking back to Alec, then down to Alec and Magnus joined hands

“alright someone better start talking” he said, looking at Alec like a mother does when her child draws on the walls

“I don’t have time to explain it all right now but in short: Magnus is not the bad guy. We made out on a Ferris wheel and now we are here,” jace just looked at him, questions bubbling in his eyes but Alec knew better “jace I will explain it all to you later but for now we have much bigger problems” he sat down, magus beside him.

“Alec your scaring me a little bit” jace said, looking at Izzy for advice, she just nodded her head

“Mike wants me to fight on his top card next week. His main card got pulled and he wants me to fight for the title” jaces face lit up at that, he knew Alec had been dying to get on that card for years.

“Alec that’s amazing, I don’t see—”

“they want me to fight Magnus” he cut in. jace just looked at him

“they want you two to fight, but your, oh. Okay yeah I see the problem” understanding washed over him

“Magnus thinks we should do it” Alec said

“you have to. You two have to fight at some point so one of you can win once and for all and end the rivalry” jace was slowly putting the pieces together In his head

“this is Alecs dream, not mine. He should win” Magnus piped in. everyone just looked at him

“it’s the only way we can do this. If its pre-determined before hand, if we know exactly what we have to do, it’s the only way this will work, the only way we won’t get hurt. I might not look like it but i am a fighter remember, I can take a punch” he was right, of course he was right

“I hate to say it but I agree with Magnus. If you guys have any chance of pulling this off at all, we need to be in control, know every punch, every kick, it needs to be preplanned.
Alec didn’t like the idea, but this was the best way to do this. That way no one would get hurt

“what if something happens, things never go as planned when we get in the ring, what if we lose it for a second and blow it” said Alec, what if he threw a rouge punch, lost in the moment of the fight and what if he hurt Magnus? Would he forgive him, could he forgive himself? He couldn’t make sense of it

“we wont.” Is all he said. Alec knew he was probably just as nervous as he was, trying to be sure enough for both of them

“what do we do about our parents, they will be here too” Alec dident even want to even think about his dad being thrown into the middle of this mess, one that he hadn’t even figured out yet. He was so tired.

“we do what we have been doing for the last five years alexander, we absolutely hate each other.” He said it matter of fact, like it was the obvious solution. Alecs brain wasn’t working, trying to process too much information in the span of 12 hours, he just looked at Magnus. Not understanding

“we-but you and I just-what?” he felt like his brain was in a pot of soup. It suddenly dawned on him that this was the second night in a row he had not gotten any sleep, of course his brain stopped working

Magnus just smiled at him

“Alec I mean that we hate each other as a front. They have to think that we are going for the kill, that this is the big fight everyone has been waiting for, that our parents have been waiting for” it was true, it made sense even with his state it made sense. He nodded

“you guys need your parents to think you are on different sides, not on the same’ jace added in.

“its like you guys are secret spy’s or something!! “ Jordan said

Alec rolled his eyes

“the only way this works is if we stick together, if we do this together.” He looked at Magnus, needing to make sure he wanted this, that he was on bored with this. Magnus intertwined their fingers.

The group decided that it was important that Magnus and Alec remain sharing a room, they needed to be able to go over everything at night, and it was to dangers to meet up like that in public, they are supposed to hate each other. After while Alec stopped hearing what people where saying, his mind finally succumbing to two days without sleep. Magnus looked at him.

“I think its time we all get some sleep, and reconvene in a couple hours” said Magnus, standing up from his chair, bringing Alec with him.

“but this is kind of important” said jace

“yes, but as you can see nothing else is going to get done tonight,” he put his arm around Alecs waist, Alec was grateful for it. Suddenly wanting nothing more than to be sleeping

Jace looked at him, then nodded. The group left one at a time, with Alec and Magnus leading the way. They were on the twenty first floor and Alec hopped there weren’t a thousand people waiting for an elevator

“thanks for getting us out of their” he said quietly while they waited.

“of course, darling” he responded

They rode the elevator in a comfortable silence, Alec to caught up in his own thoughts to vocalize them, trying to figure out how this was going to work. Once they got to there room Alec didn’t even take off his shoes, just fell onto the bed while Magnus laughed behind him

“don’t laugh, to tired” he said muffled into his pillow.

“try and get a couple hours of sleep before we need to call Mike about the fight” Magnus said, walking over to take off Alecs shoes. He always had a personal vendeda against footwear on furniture. He was just about to drift off when he thought something

“do you really think we can pull this off” he said, voice quiet and soft
Magnus sat down on the bed opposite, thinking a second before responding

“I think we can” he said it with confidence

“will we be okay?” he asked, his mind already half slipped into unconscious

“we will be perfect” with that Magnus turned off the light.

 

Sun shin woke him up

“urg” He sighed, not wanting to be awake yet, still caught in the blissfulness of sleep.

“good morning sleepy head, or should I say good afternoon” Magnus laughed. Alec rolled over so he was on his back and slowly opened his eyes. Magnus was standing beside the bed, looking heavenly surrounded by the light from the sun. he smiled. “good Moring”
Magnus sat down on the bed, running his hand threw Alecs hair. He leaned into it. Slowly the events of the day before came back to him, the fight, the talk, the ferries wheel

“mike” he said. He looked at the clock beside the bed and—12, it was noon!!! He sat up, Magnus hand falling

“we had to phone mike!” he slept in, he was supposed to call mike this morning with his choice, why didn’t Magnus wake him up, again!

“its dealt with darling. I called this morning to say my side was in, and Izzy phone him as your “assistance” to say that your side was in, I figured you needed the sleep. he wants us both to meet him to sign the contract” of course Magnus was on top of it.

“we are really doing this” he said

“we are,” Magnus kissed his forehead before he got up, walking towards to door

“get ready, we have to meet mike in thirty minutes”

“where are you going?” he asked, running a hand threw his hair

“we cant go to the meeting together remember? Ill see you down there” we winked before walking out the door, leaving Alec to process.

He and Magnus were, whatever they were. They were going to fight and they were officially signing the contract. Alec got up and had a shower, hoping the cold water would clear his mind. It shouldn’t be hard to pretend to hate maguns, he had been doing it for five years, surly he could do it for another week

He got dressed quick so he could grab a coffee before the meeting. He wondered where Magnus was, what he was doing, what was about to unfold between them. They had a lot to talk about, the past, the future. They had a lot to figure out and throwing a fight in the middle was not going to make it easier. A fight that Alec was going to win because Magnus was letting him. ,he was giving up what had been his dream, for Alec, they needed to talk about that too. Before he knew it he was standing in front of mikes office, waiting to be called inside. He heard someone approach, when he looked up Magnus was standing across from him

“Alec” he said coldly. You would never have been able to tell that he kissed his forehead before he left. Alec looked at him with disinterest

“Magnus” he looked down at his phone, not giving him any attention. They sat there in silence, trying to make it as uncomfortably as possible. It was five minutes before mike opened the door

“Alec, Magnus! Boys im so glad you could join me, please come in” mike was a tall man in his fifty’s with white hair and an untamed beard, he was a good fighter in his time, a good coach. He was respected among fighters. Alec and Magnus followed him into the room which they assumed was his office., they each sat down

“you guys are really saving my ass here, what are the chances of Magnus Bane and Alec lightwood being in florida, putting on the fight of the year! This Is nothing like the matches you did when you were kids, this is the big times, this is the end all to prove who is really the best,” mike looked pretty sure of himself, thinking he was selling it pretty good, little did he know.

“its about time people see the truth” said Magnus matter a fact

“I agree, its about time people see how uncompedend you are” said Alec without missing a beat.

“I love it boys! Save if for the ring okay” mike laughed while pulling out two piece of paper

“alright lets get this going shall we? I need both of you to sign on the dotted line, its your standard fight contract, but as soon as you guys sign we are in business. I will have your coached flyed out tomorrow moring, do you guys have hotel rooms still or do we need to book those too? Ah who cares, Alec lightwood and Magnus bane are going to fight on my card!!!” Alec read the contract briefly, having read hundreds of them in the past.

“we have our room sfigured out thanks” he said briefly

“perfect” mike handed them each a pen. Alec looked at the empty place he had to sign. By signing this he is agreeing to fighting Magnus, really truly fight him. He quickly looked at Magnus out of the corner of his eye, and saw that he was already signing. I geuess were doing this

He signed it, and gave it back to mike

“perfect!!! Do you guys mind me taking a face off photo for annocment? Of course you don’t” he said ushering them to stand up. Face off photos are the photos that oppoents usally take after weigh ins, it’s a moment to intimidate the other person, to look them square in the eye and show that you aren’t afraid. This one was going to be different. He stood up and walked to the wall where mike directed him, Magnus standing in front of him. He put his hands up In fight position, Magnus doing the same. He could feel his breath on his hand. He looked at him with his best dead pan emotion, Magnus was looking at him in the same forced way, Alec had to forced himself from laughing. This was the craziest thing he had ever done

“perfect! Now shake hands” they stepped away from each other, Magnus sticking out his hand, Alec grabbed it.

“may the best man win” Magnus said, his voice low and dangerous

“don’t worry, I will” Alec said back. He could hear mike laughing from behind them. This was the perfect fight, everyone knew they had a real hatred of each other that went farther then the walls of a gym, everyone knew a fight of this caliber would be worth it

“okay, I will be in contact, your coaches will be here tomorrow so you can get on with your training” Alec walked towards the door, not sparing a glance back to Magnus. In hindsight they should have figured out what they were going to do next, were they wanted to meet. Alec decided he would just keep walking until they were out of view. Magnus seemed to have the same idea as they left mikes office, keeping space between them. They waited until they were on the elevator until he finally let his shoulders drop

“that was something” he said, a hand running threw his hair in a nervous tick. This fight was a bigger deal then either of them understood

“it was. did you see his face? It was like he had just won the lottery” Magnus said, moving closer so that their shoulders were touching

“so what now? We cant be seen together like before, not when the news breaks, not with the amount of fighters around us. Especially not with our parents here” he looked at Magnus as he said it

“I agree, once the news breaks about this fight its going to be all eyes on us, which means we have until tomorrow afternoon. If I recall correctly, someone owes me a date” of course
Magnus would think of that right now, the danger made it all the more fun

“what did you have in mind?” he moved closer, now standing directly in front of him.

“leave that part to me, go talk to jace about whatever you talk to jace about, and meet me at the room at four” Magnus placed a quick kiss on his check before the elevator door opened and he walked away

 

Alec dident go and talk to jace. Jace had just been realized from his room in the infirmary and heard he was out drinking with Jordan, the two making amends. he dident go and talk to Izzy since Nik was taking her out. He had not been alone in three days and ow was the last chance he was going to get, so he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed jaces gear from his room, and went to the gym. It had been forever since Alec had hit a bag, really hit a bag. He wrapped his hands, enjoying the process, the feeling of the fabric against his skin, he walked to a corner of the gym where a heavy bag hangs alone, and he dropped his gear. He put on his gloves, head phones on and he hit it. Everything he felt, everything he would feel, the fight, the past, all of it went into that bag. Everything he wanted to say but dident, he put it all into every single punch. The bag swung back and forth, he moved with it, the music blaring loud enough that he couldn’t think. Anyone who ever thought fighting was nothing more then punching people had never done it, it was so much more then that. It was therapy in the best way. He dident have to be anyone else when he was fighting, he dident have to pretend. He knew what he was doing and he knew how to do it, it was what he was good at. He punched the bag until his shoulders ached, and his knees shake, even then he kept going. He went until he knew his knuckles where raw, and his legs were bruised. Physical pain was different then mental pain. He could control physical pain, let it destroy him or let it wash away, he was in control. It was not unill the alarm on his phone went off that he stopped, but only because he had to go. Or really he had to shower. He was sweating like a pig, no way he was going on a date like that. He had stolen some of jaces cloth from his suitcase, nothing crazy, a dark blue hoodie, black jeans, something casual. He had a quick shower before changing, nervous to get back to the room, to Magnus. It hurt his head to think about the total 360 he had gone in the past three days when it came to Magnus, but he dident want to think about it now, dident want to talk himself out of it. He gathered up his stuff, well jaces stuff and went. He stopped by the coffee shop that doubled as a general store, and liquor store and grabbed a bottle of wine, thinking that this is the last night for the entire trip that they would be allowed to drink. That was the cool thing about the hotel, it doubled as a convention center, there were giant ball rooms, three different restaurants, two coffee shops, stores, liquor stores, there was really anything you could need. He checked his phone, three fifty five. Perfect, he was right on time. He walked to the elevator ready to go. Unfortunately for him the elevator decided that it was going to stop at every. Single. Floor. Between the ground and his, so there he was stuck for what felt like forever, by the time he finally got off it was five after. He walked to the hotel room and paused; did he knock? Or did he just walk in? he decided to do both. He knocked once before slowly opening the door

“Magnus?” he said slowly, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw the room
Both beds had been pushed to the side of the room and in there place was what looked like a fort made from blankets that magus definitely took from someone. The sight brought
Alec back to when they were nineteen, when the power went out in Magnus small apartment and they sat on the living room floor in a house made of blankets. Alec dident know what to say. He took his shoes off and put them against the wall, slowly walking over to the make shift door. he couched down to see Magnus sitting cross legged. He wore a grey hoddie that fit him perfectly with ripped jeans, casual yet effective. Alec had been right

“I thought since we cant go out, this was the next best thing” he gave him a shy smile, waiting for Alec to say something

Alec just looked at him. The sleeves of the sweater hid his hands, he looked like something out of a movie. Alec climbed into the small nest, sitting across from Magnus like a child.

He dident even care

“this is—this is amazing” he said, wanting to stay in the moment forever

“I thought so too, here are the rules. No talk of fighting, or jace or Jordan, nothing. This is about us, no one else, agreed” he gave him a challenging look that dared Alec to say no

“agreed” he said without a second thought.

“good” he pulled out two glasses for Alecs wine

“do you remember the last time we did this?” he asked while pouring two glasses

Magnus took a sip before he responded

“of course I do, it was your kiss wasn’t it”

“yeah, it was” Alec smiled at the memory

“we were so young, we thought we had it all figured out didn’t we”

“we thought we would change the world, like all teenagers do” he laughed at that, remembering what it felt like to think the world belonged to them

“do you remember that blond girl jace was dating who called me alex all the time? She was awful” it felt like a life time ago

“I heard that she was in law school” Magnus took another sip of wine, savoring the taste of it, Alec laughed too

“oh or that guy Izzy was dating who tried to fight me every time he got drunk”

“that seems like a life time ago” Magnus said, a hint of something more in his voice. Alec kept going

“it might as well be,” he looked around the little bubble they were in “tell me Magnus, what whole new life time have you lived in the last five years?” it was a fair question, five years was a lot to miss. Magus sat back on his hands relaxed, the glass of wine on the ground

“I wish I could say I did some amazing thing but really it was more or less the same,” he looked at Alec wishfully “ I got a new apartment, a loft near the gym that is big enough to fit all my clothes” he laughed again “Simon starting dating this new girl at the gym, and when they broke up she knocked him out in sparing” Alec liked hearing about simon and Magnus life, he wondered if he were an old story Magnus tells when asked about his past

“but other than that, im sorry to report that not much has changed” he knew that it wasn’t true, but five years was a lot to reflect on, a lot to think about

“Izzy said that you have become a sort of legend in the Brooklynn club scene” he said

Magnus looked down at the glass now in his hand again

“I guess you could definitely say that, I think one of them probably owns my apartment, my tab is so large” Magnus always did know how to have a good time, but he also knew when enough was enough. “after we fell apart, you could say I dove into It head first.” Alec knew what that was like

“what about the gym?” he asked. The last time he checked Magnus was getting groomed to take over . Magnus frowned

“you know how the story goes, a party on a weekend a couple weeks in a row turns into waking up on a Thursday not knowing where you are or who your with, the thought of training made me want to drink even more, it made me think of you” Magnus looked back up, Alec couldent help but feel guilty, but he understood. “of course I got back into it eventually, but it was never my passion, it was yours” he finished his wine in one sip, setting the glass back on the ground.

“what about you, what has the last five years been life” it was an easy question.

“like you not much as changed. Izzy has a new girlfriend but im sure you knew that already,” he laughed, remembering the friendship Magnus had developed with his sister

“after we, you know. I trained, and then I trained more and more until it was all I could do. I dove into it, fought a few times, starting coaching more. but I threw myself into training”

he looked down at his hands, his knuckles red and cut

“it was the only way I could get through it without ending up somewhere I shouldn’t be. I trained during the day and drank myself to sleep at night, it was a great time” it was true, they needed to talk about the past if they wanted to have any sort of future

“it seems like we both had our coping mechanisms” he grabbed Alecs hand from across the small space, rubbing his thumb over the bruised knuckles. Alec looked at their joint hands

“we were pretty stupid back then, weren’t we”

“yes, but we were young” they had no idea what life even was yet, no idea what the rules were or where they stood

“Magnus, what happens after the fight, when we have to go back to real life” he dident really want to know the answer. It was one thing to play house while on vacation and thousand miles away, it was a whole other thing when it was real

“whatever we want” it was an open answer, one they could figure out later. It gave him hope

there was silence for a moment

“can I tell you a secret?” said Alec, voice low looking at the ground

“please do” said Magnus, moving closer

“you are one of the only things left that truly scare me” he wasn’t sure why he said it, only that once it came out it was to late to take it back. It was a vulnerable moment he dident want to lose

“oh?” Magnus looked confused, not knowing what he meant. Alec didn’t really want to explain

“I don’t know,” he thought about it for a moment

“I like to live my life in black and white. I eat the same thing every day, I go to the same place, hit the same bags. My life is planed from start to finish. And then there’s you,” Alec looks up from the ground to look at Magnus.

“with all your color, making my world bright. you were never supposed to fit in my world, we were never supposed to be anything other then pass byers in the crowd. Yet some way you became the most important part of everything. When we broke up, suddenly everything was grey again” he didn’t know if he was making any sense. He never was good with words.

“I don’t like to give anything that much power in my life, especially not people because when they are gone suddenly you have to learn how to live again, yet here I am , with you, sitting in a fort made from blankets” Alec kissed Magnus hand that was still holding his. They might have been apart for a while, they might have a past that would make people cringe. But none of that mattered now. All that mattered now was what he felt in this moment. Magnus looked at him with love on his face. He took a sip of wine before he spoke

“alexander, I promise no matter what happens during this fight, no matter what anyone says, when its all said and done, its going to be you and me” he said it with such conviction Alec couldn’t help but believe him, maybe it was the fort, or the wine but he wanted to believe in something again. he nodded his head in respond, no words able to convey what he was feeling in that second. He grabbed the front of Magnus hoddie, pulling him close until the space between them was nothing but a myth. Magnus ran his hand threw Alecs hair, his other hand cupping his face.

“kiss me”

Magnus dident need to be told twice. He captured his lips in a kiss that tasted like wine. Alecs hand moved to the back of his neck, other hand going to his back, pulling him in even closer. He couldn’t get close enough. This kiss was different then the others, there was a haste to it that hadn’t been there before, a need that felt like falling. He smiled against his lips, hands moving to his neck, thumbing his hair. Magnus pulled away slightly, moving so he was sitting in Alecs lap. They both laughed into the kiss, neither of them knowing what they were doing, not knowing if it was a good idea, but they were doing it anyway because sometimes things are worth the risk. Alec grabbed onto Magnus hoddie so he wouldn’t fall, kissing his neck, his shoulder, anything that he could reach. He moved his leg, accidently knocking over a glass of wine.

“shit” he mumbled against his lips, already moving away, but before he could Magnus pulled him back

“later” was all he said. It was a good enough answer.

‘Maybe we were destine to end in flames, or are something that never had a right to exist in the first place,’ thought Alec,, his hands finding their way under Magnus shirt, thoughts whirled around his head, Magnus mouth on his neck, his hands under his shirt, but he was sure of one thing.

“but I swear, I will never let anyone take this away from me’

Chapter Text

hey this is just a little thing to update you guys with how often I am going to update this! I am going to post a new part every Saturday! and maybe Thursdays depending on my school schedule! okay that's all I had to say

Chapter Text

“Alec! Get you ass out of bed!!” he groaned, his sisters voice too loud even through the door, the sunlight filtering threw the windows too bright. It took him longer than it should have to notice the unfamiliar weigh beside him. despite the protest from his head, he opened his eyes and realized it was Magnus asleep, a arm draped over his waist. He smiled as

images from the night before came to his mind.

“IM COMING IN’ she warned. Alec regretted giving her a key. He heard the door open, unable to do anything but lay there

“Alec! what happened in here—” she stopped when her eyes found him laying on the two beds Magnus had pushed together the night before. He knew what Izzy saw. The floor was a disaster zone, blankets and pillows everywhere, empty bottles of wine, and then a shirtless Alec laying in bed with Magnus draped on top of him. Yeah, he understood why she paused

“I can explain” he said quietly. Trying his best to not wake the sleeping figure next to him

“I don’t want to hear it,” she couldn’t help but smile “get some clothes on and meet me out side, now” she left, closing the door quietly behind her. he closed his eyes, His head was pounding. Before he got up he took a moment to look at magnus. He looked young like this, his face soft and happy, no sign of the real world. Alec wanted to stay in the moment forever, to hide in this hotel room in a fort of blankets, never having to go back to his life. He ran his hand through magnus hair and sighed. He had to face the music. Before he got up he leaned in to kiss his forehead.

“Alec..” said Magnus, still half asleep

“go back to sleep,” he whispered, now sitting on the edge of the bed “ill be back soon” Magnus nodded before grabbing the pillow and drifting off. As quietly as he could he walked to the table to grab two Tylenol before making to get changed. If Izzy was this adamant to talk to him then it must be important. He spared one last glance towards magnus before walking out the door

“what’s up Iz?” he said, his mind already floating back to bed

She just looked at him like he should already know

“what’s up? What’s up is that I just got a text from dad” she shoved her phone in his face. “he said that his plane lands at 3” he had forgotten about his dad.

“three..” that was not enough time, not enough time to prepare for it

“what does he mean his plane lands at three! Alec what the hell happened yesterday?” she motioned to the hotel room, then her phone. He may have forgotten to tell izzy what was going on, jace too.

“iz, im sorry I just got caught up in some stuff yesterday and forgot to tell you”

“yeah, STUFF, sure” she rolled her eyes. Alec knew no matter how she was trying to act, she was dying to hear about it. he filled her in on all the fight stuff, on the date and what had followed

“oh my god” is all she said in response. He felt the heat rise to his face.

“I told you I could explain” he smiled at the ground, feeling the bliss from the night before briefly come back

“oh my god” she repeated, this time horror filled her voice “dad…ill pick him up later and ill go pick jace off the floor to fill him in too. you just do whatever you’ve got to do. Im sure
magnus dad will be flying in today too” she put her hand on his shoulder

“you really do have a thing for timing don’t you” she was right. It could not have been worse time for him and magnus to reconnect, to do what they were doing. He knew it was dangerous, that it could destroy them both. He didn’t want it to ever end

“its my talent” he responded, not really knowing what else to say. He dident need his sister to tell him what a bad idea it is.

“I hope you know what your doing Alec. If this goes wrong you’re not the one in the cross fire, he is, you have no idea what his father is like.” she turned around and walked away.

Did he know what he was doing? he had no idea how they were going to pull it off, if It was going to work out. He knew magnus would be hurt the most by things going wrong, that his dad was something Alec would never understand the pain of. all he knew is he would never forgive himself if he didn’t try. He hoped magnus felt the same way. Knowing that magnus was most likely still asleep, Alec decided to go get them both coffee.

The coffee shop had quickly turned into Alec favorite place in the strange city. It was warm and inviting, they had the best coffee he had ever had, and it was a good place to just sit and think. He thought of the last time him and magnus had been there, it seemed like a life time ago even though it was merely a few days. He couldn’t help but think they would not be able to do that again, not here. Everything was about to change, the hope he felt the night before, the hope that they would be okay was gone. He wanted to scream at the universe, at god at anyone who would listen that it wasn’t fair, what did he ever do deserve this, but it didn’t matter. There was nothing he could do to change things because changing things meant giving up magnus, and he didn’t think he would ever be able to do that again. He went to grab the coffee and realized his hands were shaking. He got the coffee and slowly went back up to the room.

 

“what did Isabel have to say” said magnus. He was still lying in bed, enjoying the feelings of bliss that came after sleep. Alec walked towards him, handing him the coffee. Magnus hummed in response. Alec looked at him and wanted more than anything to forget what his sister said, forget their parents were on their way and that they were both going to have to do things they didn’t want to do and go back to bed, to lay with magnus in the bubble of happiness they created, but he couldn’t. He sat down on the side of the bed

“well, our parents are going to be here by three” he watched magnus face for any sign of reaction but found none other than the tightening of his jaw.

“alright, is that all?” his voice was different, the lightness was gone. Alec hated that he had been the cause of it

“yeah, she asked if we knew what we were doing with all of this, that the consequences of it going wrong are going to hurt you” he looked at the ground, magnus grabbed his shaking hands.

“don’t you worry about me alexander, I can take care of my father” his voice was not as strong as Alec thinks he wanted it to be, but he didn’t comment

“are you sure about this?” he said, needed to hear magnus say it

“of course, I am” he said without hesitation. Alec brought their joint hands to his lips and kissed the soft skin there.

“alright, what’s the plan”

Magnus took a sip of his coffee, savoring the taste of it before he answered

“well, im going to pick my dad up from the airport, and you are going to meet yours when he gets here” he checked his phone, probably reading the text from his dad

“then we train, we train until our hands bleed and legs shake. After we come back here to recover.” Magnus sighed before getting out of bed

“no matter what happens we need to make sure they don’t know about us” Alec added, following magnus with his eyes as he walked to the shower

“they won’t. Not until it’s on our terms” with that he shut the door and Alec heard the shower start

He had nowhere to go. Jace was by no doubt still sleeping, Izzy was out, so he sat back on the bed and waited for magus to come back.

Turns out he was more tired than he thought because when he woke up magnus was gone, the pillows and blankets had been cleaned up, the bottles put away. The only evidence of the night before were the two beds still pushed together. He looked at his phone

“gone to get dad. Get ready”

shit it was past three, that text was from nearly an hour ago!! He jumped up, running around to get ready. He couldn’t help the anxiety that crawled up his spine when he thought about magnus being alone with his father, somewhere in the hotel where Alec couldn’t help him. magus dad.. he was something else. He made his own dad look like a saint. He couldn’t let his thoughts get away from him, he needed to focuse on his own mission. His phone buzzed again

“down stairs” it was izzy. It was go time

 

“my son!!” his dads voice was loud in the quite lobby. He looked out of place in his matching track suite, something that made Alec roll his eyes.

“dad” he said, embracing him in a short awkward hug.

“I was shocked to get the call from mike, how are you feeling” he stood with his arms crossed across his chest, assessing every word Alec said

“im good”

“well I hope your more than good, this is the chance we have been waiting for Alec. Even better that its against that stain from prodigy” Robs voice was strong, sure. Alec kept his face neutral, eyes hard.

“it will be an easy win” he said, crossing his own arms as well

“wheres the other one?” asked Rob looking around. He was talking about jace, Alec knew. Izzy laughed from behind him

“probably picking himself off the floor of the bar” Alec shot her a look. Although it was true, rob didn’t need to know it. he had never liked jace, only put up with him because he was Alecs best friend

“figures. Okay” he looked at Alec “im going to drop my bags off in my room. I need you to go get your gear and meet me in the gym. Its go time” of course it started today, no dinner or how have you been, just work. Alec nodded his head, turning to leave “five minutes Alec”

Alec ended up grabbing jaces gear from his room from the day before since he had lost his own gear somewhere in the mess of the room and had no idea where it was. he noticed that magnus gear was now in the room, a little pile on in the corner ,his gym jacket over it all. It was so different from his own. Like Nephilim, the jackets were sleek. Black with crisp white lettering. Were as Prodigies were bright red with blue letters, they were shinny and crazy and everything the gym was supposed to be. Alec laughed before heading back down stairs.

His dad saw him before he got to the gym doors.

“I needed you here five minutes ago” he said coldly, already stepping through the doors. The gym was nice. It had different rooms for different activities, for weights, yoga. It had a giant rom filled with treadmills and different cardio machines and another empty room for work outs and pads that had heavy bags against the wall. He couldn’t help looking around the room for magnus. Rob dropped his stuff

“alright. I want six kilometers on the treadmill to warm up, then lets hit ten rounds of pads” oh god Alec thought. this was going to be a long week.

By the time Alec was allowed to go back to this room he could barely walk. His feet, his legs his knees, they all hurt, his whole body hurt, shit even his toes hurt! He almost didn’t make it to the elevator, and once he did, he almost didn’t make it to the room. It was late, after midnight and all he wanted to do was sleep. he walked in quietly incase magnus was sleeping but was disappointed to see he had not yet returned. The anxiety from early shot through him but he was far to tired to think about it too much. He dropped his bags on the floor and fell on the bed to let sleep embrace him. It might have been minutes or hours later he heard the door open and close. It took no time before he felt a warm body curl up behind him. he smelt like liquor.

“magnus…” he said groggily, still stuck in sleep

“shh, tomorrow” magnus hummed from behind him, throwing his arm around his waist to pull him closer. Alec was too tired to argue.

When he woke up the next morning magnus was already gone. He groan and the action set fire to his sore muscles. A part of him missed it, the soreness. It was familiar and normal, something he had grown so used to feeling that he forgot he was feeling it. it told him he was doing something right, working hard. the other part of him wanted to forget the world and not move for the next five days. Sadly, he knew he had to go back to the gym.

The next 4 days continued on like that. Alec would wake up and go for a run, then have a quick breakfast before going back to the gym to meet his dad. He trained all day, seeing hardly anything of jace or izzy. He spared, hit pads, kicked bags. He trained until he didn’t think he could move anymore, and when he returned to the room magnus was nowhere to be found, not coming back till the late hours of then night, always smelling like alcohol. He was always gone before Alec got up. By the fifth day Alec had grew concerned. He needed to see magnus, talk to him more than a couple words in the dark of night. He needed to know what was going on. He texted his dad that morning, that instead of running he wanted to hit pads first thing. He knew that magnus would have to be there, as its only possible that he trained when Alec was running because they had never ran into each other around the hotel. His dad was fast to reply with a thumbs up. Alec got up faster than normal that day, grown used to the pain once again. He was at the gym before his dad was. he was nervous even though there was no need to be but he couldn’t help the anxiety that ran up his arms, into his chest. Maybe it was not seeing magnus, not knowing anything about his training. Maybe he had changed his mind, maybe he wanted the fight to be real. But then again ever night he would curl up against him and hold him tight. He needed to know.
of course, his dad was late getting to the gym, Alec was practically vibrating by the time he saw him

“you’re here early” said rob, sipping the coffee in his hand

“couldn’t sleep” is all Alec said before walking through the doors. He let his eyes roam every room, every door way looking for a glimpse of brown hair. He got to the training room and still had yet to find him. its not like he could miss him, the only people in the entire area where him, a girl running on a treadmill, and a guy in dark cloths with a hood hitting a corner bag. Alec sighed. He put his gear down and got his gloves out. He needed to punch something, his anxiety about magnus making his hands shake. It was weird that he hadn’t seen him, or heard from him. he put the thoughts to the side, and focused on power.

Half way through the rounds someone walked through the doors, it made Alec stop in his tracks. Although he had known magnus most of his life he had somehow stayed away from his dad Al, only seeing him the occasional time at fights or events, but not for at least seven years. Nothing could have prepared him for Al now. He was a tall slender man, who wore a lose dress shirt he had unbuttoned half way to reveling his chest. His hair was longer than maguns, almost down to his shoulders but it was the same dark shade of brown. He looked like his son, there was no way to look at Al and not see his Magnus. The difference Alec knew was their eyes. Magnus had kind eyes that although could be filled with rage and fury, also were capable of looking at Alec with nothing but love. Als eyes were almost black, his features sharper and harsher than his sons. He walked through the doors like he owned the place, not like he was supposed to be training. He was drinking and it was eight in the morning. Alec stopped hitting and just watched him walk in, Rob looked at him in disgust. he sighed

“Al, what do you think you’re doing here” said rob, obviously annoyed by the interruption.

“good to see you to Robert” he looked rob up in down the same calculating way magus dose, His voice was deep and smooth. “im training my champion, can’t you tell” Al pointed at
the figure still in the back of the room pounding away on the bag. Rob and Alec both quickly turned their heads.

“that’s your son?,” Rob looked back at Al “and that’s your idea of training him?” he pointed at the drink in his hand. Although Rob was a questionable father at the best of times, he was a good fighter and a good coach. Alec couldn’t stop looking at the figure--magnus hitting the bag in the back. How had he not recognized him? the longer he looked, the easier it was to see magnus shape, his hair coming from the front of his hood

Al laughed. “it seems to be working quite well. Why don’t we go get him” He walked over to magnus and gestured for him to follow him to Alec and rob. Alecs heart raced in anticipation. He didn’t dare look up while magnus walked over, he kept his eyes on the ground.

“Robert, id like to formally introduce you to my son” Alec heard his dad draw breath before he looked up. It took less than a second for his heart to shatter.

Magnus was standing in front of him, whole and alive yet he was not the same person he had last seen nearly five days prior. He was looking down at the floor while his dad was saying something but Alec didn’t hear him, all he could think about was magnus. He looked for no better word, horrible. His skin was pale, the bags under his eyes made even darker by the giant bruise that covered almost half his face. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in a week, he also looked like he needed a good meal. He looked horrible. Alec felt nothing but rage when he looked back up at Al. suddenly, he understood why Magnus had avoided him, why he hadn’t seen him all week. It was this. magnus knew how it looked. Knew Alec would panic. Which was right. With the rage he felt a deep pain in his chest, felt the anxiety crawl through his chest. He had to fight the urge to blow the whole thing, to punch Al in the face, to hold magnus while running his fingers over the bruising, to hold him tight against his chest and protect him from the world. He had to look away.

“its great to meet you mister lightwood” magnus said, putting a hand out for rob to shake.

“what happened to your face kid?” Rob said slowly while shaking his hand.

“you know how training works Robert” Al said before magnus could get a chance to answer. Magnus didn’t look at Alec, or maybe he couldn’t. Rob said nothing, only looked at magnus before putting an arm on Alecs back

“well it was nice to meet you Magnus, we will let you continue training” he motioned for Alec to grab his things and the left without another word. Once the left the room Alec let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding

“he’s a sick man that Al bane. I might not like or respect Magnus but no one deserves that. On the bright side, it will be an easy win” rob shook his head. Alec couldn’t focuse on what his dad was saying, all he could think about was magus, his face, his voice, his eyes. It was all wrong. He needed to talk to him, to make sure he was still in one piece. Magnus was hurting and it was Alecs fault again. Its his fault magnus is in this position, training for a fight he knows he going to lose with someone as spiteful as his dad. What will Al do when magnus loses? The thought makes Alecs head spin.

“Alec, you look a little pale, what’s going on?” rob was looking at him questionly, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“im fine, just--just a little tired” he was out of breath, his heart beating out of his chest. He looked through the glass doors of the training room and saw magnus watching him. Alec wanted to cry. Rob looked at him for a moment

“okay well, go for a run, clear your head and then maybe take the afternoon off, we can finish this up tonight” Rob might have bad moments but Alec knew he still cared about his well-being, knew he had attacks where he couldn’t breath. He Knew rob would never let him look like magnus. magnus. Alec nodded his head before stumbling out of the gym. He collapsed against the wall once he was a safe distance away and let his head fall against his knees. Breath he thought over and over again.

“Alec, Alec is that you?” he voices shook him from his thoughts. A girl with long blond hair was walking towards him.

“nik, what are you doing here?” Alec asked, trying his best to sound like he wasn’t falling apart. Nik came over and sat on the floor beside him. he was always taken aback by her eyes, they were a striking blue, so clear he had asked izzy if they were contacts. They weren’t .

“I was just dropping izzy off and came to get a coffee, are you alright Alec?” she looked at him, for some reason he felt safe to tell her, maybe it was her soft blue eyes or the slight curve of her lips. She had always been kind to Alec, never once judged him on a decision

“how about I buy you a coffee” he said standing up. He offered her a hand which she accepted

That’s how he found himself spending most of the day back in the little coffee shop. It was easy to see how izzy feel in love with her. she was everything Alec hopped she would find.

“so let me get this clear. You and a guy who you won’t name used to date, then broke up because you thought he was cheating on you but really had a drunken kiss with your best friend, then five years later you randomly meet up at a fight, have to share a room and end up making out on a ferries wheel less than four years later,” she just looked at him “oh and also you and said guy now have to get in a ring and fight each other in less then three days”

“yeah…yeah that sounds right” he took the last sip of his coffee, before running his hand through his hair. he knows he should be getting back to training soon but he didn’t want to leave.

“im just going to say it. your life sounds like something straight out of a movie.” Alec laughed at that, it was true, it sounded like a crazy story he had made up.

“if only” he looked down

“you have to talk to him Alec” she put her hand on his knee in a kind gesture. He smiled. She was right, even if it meant staying up all night long he needed to talk to magnus and It had to be tonight.

“I know nik, I know. well I wish I could stay and hear embarrassing stories about my sister but I have to get back to training” he stood up and she stood up with him, giving him a giant hug

“good luck” she said against his neck. He nodded before walking away.

It was later than normal by the time he got back to the room; he had hoped that if he came back later magnus would be back but when Alec walked into the room he was met with the cold familiar sight of an empty bed. He put his gear down and sat on the bed to wait., he was going to wait. He needed to talk to him, to see him.

It was almost two hours before he heard the door unlock and magnus stumble through it. magnus stopped when he saw Alec sitting up on the bed. He looked at the ground

“magnus” Alec said as softly as he could, needing to make sure magnus knew he was safe

“if your going to give me a speech about communication and tell off for not telling you then just get it over with.” He looked at Alec, he couldn’t stand the amount of sadness in his eyes “or even better keep it to yourself. I’ve had enough alcohol that I most likly won’t understand it—” he was cut off by Alec pulling him against his chest. Magnus hadn’t even realized Alec was walking towards him. Alec held him tight, his face pressed into his hair. Magnus was okay. He was safe and finally in his arms. He didn’t think he would ever be able to let him go. It took magnus longer than it should have to react. For a second he just stood frozen in his arms before finally giving himself over to it. he clutched onto Alecs shirt like he was the only thing he needed. he Leaned into it so Alec was basically holding him up.

“magnus..” there was so much he wanted to say, “I’m so glad your okay, I missed you, you don’t ever have to go back, I love you, ill protect you, I don’t want to do this” but none of that came out, instead all he could do was repeat his name

“im sorry” magnus murmurs against his chest. Alec felt him breath in his sent, felt him relax even further

“please don’t apologize, god magnus I’m so sorry” he clutched at him as if he could possibly get closer.

“not your fault” magnus responded. Even when he looked like death, he was still defending him, still insisting he was the good guy. Alec couldn’t bare it
He pulled away and immediately regretted it, missing the feeling of magnus safely in his arms, but magnus needed to hear this. he held him by the shoulders, his one arm going to softly trace his fingers over the bruise on his small face.

“how can you say that,” magnus looked at him but said nothing “how can you say its not my fault when it is. Its my fault magnus and you are allowed to say it. I left you at a nigh club five years ago without even listening to your side of the story, I threw away three years of our lives on an assumption. Then I should back up in your life asking you to forgive me. not to mention I got us into the horrible situation we are in now because I wanted to win, magnus this is all my fault. Stop saying its not” Alec didn’t look away, didn’t let his hands shake. He couldn’t have magnus looking at him as if he was the good guy when really, he had only ever been the bad guy. Magnus looked at him, an unreadable look in his eyes

“what do you want me to say alexander. That you broke my heart? That you waking away that night and never returning my calls, like everything I thought we had meant nothing to you, that it almost killed me? is that what you want me to say,” he was getting louder, his eyes got darker. Alec bit his tong “or do you want me to say that when you should up in Florida I almost got on a plane home, that it took everything in me not to drink myself blind when I realized I was going to be around you every day, that every day I go to sleep thinking you might not be there when I wake up, that even though I am a world class fighter I still let my father take half my face out in a blind rage? I could say all of these things to you but it changes nothing. It does not change the fact that we have to fight in three days or the fact that I’m going to lose. It changes nothing so why would I say it” he was almost shouting by the last words; tears brimmed his eyes. “it wouldn’t change anything” he repeated, a tear finally rolling down his face. It broke Alecs heart, the great Magnus Bane broken and bruised looking at him as if begging him to stay. Alec stepped closer, wiping the tears while once again moving his finger over the dark bruise. There was nothing he could say in response, no amount of apologize could make it better, or take away his pain. All he knew is He would personally kill Al is Magnus asked him to, he would leave, he would lose the fight if it ment not losing magus. He would do anything if it meant less pain for the man in front of him

“you have to win Magnus” he whispered. If this is what Al did while training…it sent horror shooting through him to think of what he would do if magnus lost. Magnus seemed shocked by that

“alexander, its your dream. Its your moment not mine” he turned his face into Alecs hand

“your father…” Alec trialed off, not able to say what he was thinking. Magnus seemed to be thinking the same thing as he moved closer, his arms going around Alecs neck. He said nothing, they both knew what would happen, he could feel the fear in the air between them.

“I wont let him hurt you” Alec said, his voice firm and sure. If nothing else he could say this. could do this. There was no way he would let Al hurt him, not as long as he was breathing. Alec pulled him in slowly, giving him time to pull away before he brought their lips together in a desperate kiss. He needed magnus with him. he could feel the tears run down magnus face; the kiss tasted of salt. Alec pulled away slightly.

“let’s go to bed” magnus nodded against his chin, leaning on Alec again. He moved them slowly over to the bed, never letting magnus go, determine to keep him for as long as he could. they didn’t worry about changing, it didn’t matter. They fell onto the bed, Alec moving so that he was flat on his back, magnus curled on top of him. Alec had is arms wrapped around him protectively.

“I don’t want to go to sleep” magnus said sleepily. Alec understood. In the morning he had to let him go, back to the real world, back to his dad and his own side

“ill still be here when you wake up” he said softly, gently kissing the top of his head. “I promise you ill still be here.” Three days. They had three more days of this hell before things could change, before they could leave and never come back. Only three more days.

Chapter Text

Moring came to fast. Alec felt like he hadn’t even really slept by the time he was being awoken by the alarm on his phone. To no surprise, magnus was gone. Alec sighed. He went to turn off the alarm and was surprised to find a note attached to it. he pulled it off

“wait for me tonight?

-M”

Alec smiled. It had taken him a long time to fall asleep, his mind trying to find a way to fix things, a way that they both got out of this in one piece. He ran over every situation in his mind, if he wins the fight, he could lose everything, if he loses the fight his career which is his entire life is over. He could pull the fight, say he just wasn’t ready but then he would have to explain to his dad why he couldn’t do it, or he could just come clean to his dad and pray that even if he yells and screams and takes it out, he will understand enough to pull the fight. None of the situations were ideal, no matter what happened they were going to end up hurt. Every time he felt the panic rise in him, he focused on the sound of magnus’ soft breath against his skin. But now it was morning and he had a choice to make.

He was slow getting to the gym that morning, took longer than usual to go for a run. His mind was far away. He prayed he didn’t run into magnus, not sure he could stop himself from killing Al. by the time he made his way to the gym his dad was already inside

“im glad you decided to join me” Rob said dryly, eating a breakfast sandwich from the café. Alec realized he had forgot to eat

“yeah sorry, I—” he needed to focuses. “I decided to go on a longer run then normal since the fight is coming up” he sat his gear down on the floor, near his dad, he himself sitting on the ground as well.

“mmhmm” was all his dad responded with. Alec knew his dad was mad at him for being late but he didn’t care. He had bigger things to worry about then his dad. That thought alone sent a shock through him. for the first time in his life he didn’t care what his dad thought

“so weigh ins are tomorrow, but since you guys are fighting at your own weight we won’t have to worry about cutting today and tomorrow. Which means today is the last hard work out before the fight, meaning I need you to give it your all. Tomorrow will just be a run and some light pads” one more work out. That’s it. one more day until the fight, until he needs to have a plan. He nods his head “i don’t know what your thinking about alec, but whatever it is I need you to focus” his dad might be an ass sometimes but the more he thinks about it, the more human his dad was. He didn’t kick Izzy out of the house when she said she was dating Nik, only stated that he didn’t approve of it. he liked to yell and force his life on his kids but he would never hurt them. alec was thankful for a moment that rob was his dad.

“I am focused” he said, wrapping his hands. He looked at his dad to prove he was serious, that he was in it all the way

“good. Now finish wrapping up, Al will be done in the main room soon and Id rather wait until he leaves to bring you in there” alec whipped his head up towards the room. Magnus was in there alone with his dad

“why” he said half-heartedly, eyes staying trained on the door
Rob put his sandwich down and looked at alecs profile. Alec didn’t pay him any attention. “because I can’t watch Al treat his son like that,” he wasn’t listening to his dad, instead he was listening to the sound of magnus hitting pads, every time he landed a shot right, his dads voice every time he didn’t “and because I don’t want you anywhere near his son” that made alec listen. He turned his head so he was looking at his dad, not understanding what he meant, did he…could he…. Rob looked at him closely. Alec held his breath

“what-what do you mean you don’t want me near his son” there is no way this was happening right now.

“you thought you were clever, didn’t you?” alec didn’t know what to say, couldn’t think

“i—I don’t”

“kids aren’t clever alec. Not to parents. Now I never knew for sure but yesterday when you basically had a panic attack form being in the same room with him, I knew for sure” rob looked at him with an expression alec couldn’t read, couldn’t understand

“dad—” he was cut off

“I don’t want to hear about it Alec. If you chose to train with Magnus, know I don’t like it” alec was frozen where he sat. his dad thought he was training with Magnus, nothing else. alec didn’t know what to say so he said nothing. Just stared at him with big eyes willing his heart not to beat out of his chest

“no need to say anything alec..” he rolled his eyes, alec tried to find words. “just don’t do it again. You two are rivals, rivals don’t train together, aren’t friends” This was one of those moments that had the power to change everything. He could agree with his dad and keep up the lie, keep up the idea of this false life. Or he could come clean. About everything, about magnus, about the fight

“im—sorry. It was a long time ago” he couldn’t do it. he looked down at his hands that once again shook

“its fine kid, just focus.” he couldn’t let his dad know, not now, not when so much was depending on alec to make the right decision

They sat there in silence while they waited for Al and Magnus to emerge from the training room for close to an hour, alec never taking his eyes off the floor.

“Robert, its your turn” said Al theatrically as he strolled through the door, magnus in tow. Al was sharply dressed as always, magnus had a hoodie on so they couldn’t see his face.

Alec forced himself to look at Al.
“thanks” is all Rob said before shouldering past him. alec didn’t move as fast, staring at Al with intensity that could kill. He pictured it, pictured punching him, knocking him to the floor and spitting on his face. He could take magnus hand and walk away from it all. Instead he gave him his coldest glare he could muster

“it’s Alexander, right?” said Al, his face neutral. Magnus looked up at the mention of his name “its great to finally meet you” alec looked at him with hatred. His name sounded so wrong in Als mouth, so twisted. This is the man who hurt magnus, who broke him.

“its Alec.” he pushed past him aggressively, spilling the drink he was holding. He looked at magnus as he walked past him and he swore he saw him smile.
Even if the fate of the fight was predetermined it was still a fight. He still had to get into a ring in front of hundreds of people and make it look like he was fighting for his life. He would still feel the adrenalin pumping through his veins, would still relish in the feeling of everyone having their eyes on him. the fight might be fake his love for it wasn’t. He lived for the ring, for the moments he got to step inside of it. under different circumstances this would be the best week of this life, fighting for a title that he was born for. But he couldn’t enjoy it, even with the knowledge that he would win, that he was going to be crowd the best he couldn’t think of it as good thing. Training however, was something he could enjoy. He was hitting pads with his dad; it was like a game. His dad smiled as he threw the pad up for a right cross and alec faked it only to go to a left body shot. He laughed.

“nice one” said his dad before chucking the pad at his face. He was too late to put his hands up and ate the punch. They both laughed. For a second he could forget the fight and Al and magnus and all of it and just focus on training, of feeling the movement of it, the feeling of it. he closed his eyes, letting the music fill his ears. He felt the sweat drip off his face, hyper aware of all his senses. He wanted to do this for the rest of his life.

The buzzer cut off his thoughts. They had been training all day, the run in with Al seeming like days ago instead of mear hours.

“nice son, that was nice” Rob threw the pads to the ground, a proud look on his face “how are you feeling, good?” he sat down, motioning for alec to do the same. Alec sat down, trying to catch his breath

“good,” he took a minute to breath “I feel strong, solid” and he did. He was feeling good about his ability’s

“you look strong. Not cutting weight is huge” alec had to agree. Cutting weight was by far the worst part of fighting, it made you weak and tired. It was not normal for your body to drop and gain ten to fifteen pounds in twenty-four hours. Not having to cut weight for this fight was a advantage, not that it mattered. “you will be good. Sleep in tomorrow, get some rest. Then we will meet up later in the day and hit a final round of pads” sleep. alec smiled at that.

“what’s the game plan” he said, needing to know what he was expected to do when the day came.

“Als ran his boy into the ground, hes weak so we need to use that to our advantage” alec tried not to react to that. “his cardio won’t be anything compared to yours, you also have the height advantage, so take out his body. Its going to be a waiting game, out last him, and if you get the chance, go for the kill” his dad had a fire in his eyes that alec had never seen before, alec realized that this was his dads dream too. His dad was seeing his son achieve everything he had ever wanted, saw him strong and ready while his opponent was weak and run down, it was as if everything came down to this moment, all of his dads mistakes all made right by alec winning this, everything he ever did would be justified. This was Robs chance to be someone again. Alec pushed that thought to the back of his mind, it was too hard to think about it.

“sounds good dad” there was nothing else he could say. He picked up his gear and stood up “mind if I leave? I feel like I haven’t slept in a week” he laughed as he said it, it was in part true, he had felt like he hadn’t slept in forever, to worried about the fight to rest. His dad nodded

“of Couse, get some rest” he nodded before leaving. Because he trained most of the day away, he had forgotten to eat all day, he was starving and luckily for him there was a very good diner in the hotel alec had been dying to try. When he got there, he didn’t know what to order, only that he was dying for food. He remembered how magnus had looked, he needed to eat something too. He decided to order a little bit of everything, including desert. They deserved something nice right now. On they way up to the room he walked past by the gym. Since the walls of the main room were glass from his angle, he could see it clearly, could see magnus and Al in the middle of it. magnus was looking at the ground, his bags at his feet. Al was yelling something alec didn’t know, all he knew was the look at magnus face was hopeless. It broke his heart that there was absolutely nothing he could do to help him other then watch, to bear witness to magnus world. Magnus said something in response but before he could finish Al had hit him across the face. Alec dropped the bag of food as he watched magnus fall back in pain. He was a second away from walking over to them, when he realized that it would only make magnus pain worse. The best thing he could do for him in this moment was to stay away. He clenched his jaw. He saw magnus heading for the door and alec took it as a chance to run, he needed to be gone by the time Al got to the door. he ran to the end of the hall so he was out of view. He knew Al was staying in the other tower and would be heading to the other end of the hotel. He heard them speaking before Al left. Alec let out a breath. He waited against the wall for magnus to walk past, for a moment he thought about joining him, letting him know what he saw but he knew magnus would be embarrassed, not proud of what he let his dad do. So instead he turned away to get them coffee.

It was another thirty minutes before alec made his way to the room, food and drinks in hand. He slowly opened the door and made his way inside. Magnus was gone. Alec sighed. Of Couse magnus was gone, he had no idea where he went at night, but he knew he would be back. Quickly he showered and changed into a hoddie and sweat pant. Not being able to wait any longer he opened the food from the diner and my god It was the best food he had ever had. he went over to grab his phone from his coat and noticed it wasn’t there. He searched it and realized his phone was gone because it was his dads coat. He made sure to make a mental note to return it

It was later then normal when magnus returned. He opened the door slowly as if he didn’t want to wake alec up. he smiled when he saw him sitting on the bed eating cake.

“your still up” he said softly, walking over to sit down beside him. he pressed him lips against his check in a sweet kiss. “and you brought food” he smiled again when he picks up a piece of bread. All the rage alec had been feeling towards Al, all the stress and fear was gone when he looked at magnus sitting there wearing one of alecs sweaters he put on by mistake that morning. It was to big on him, the arms coving up his hands. The decision was clear as day when he looked at the growing bruise on Magnus face.

“I thought you might be hungry” he responded, taking another piece of bread for himself

“starving” is all he responded while shoving more food in his face. Dinner was nice that night, they didn’t talk about the fight, or their parents. They talked about books and movies, told each other jokes they heard one time or another. It wasn’t until all the food was gone and the coffee was drank did alec clear his throat.

“I hate to bring this up but, what’s your sides game plan for the fight” magnus face drop slightly at the mention of the fight, he was currently sitting against alecs spread knee like a chair. he sat up a little straighter

“go for the legs until you can’t stand anymore, then take out the body once you stumble. Stay out of the clinch at all cost” magnus said it like he was reciting something he had been told a hundred times. Alec nodded

“it’s a good strategy” it truly was. magnus was known for his leg kicks, they were known for ending fights and there was only so long alec would be able to hold out against them

“what about you?” said magnus, seeming to relax against alecs knees again. For the first time in nearly a week magnus looked himself, save for the giant bruise that alec couldn’t
look at without seeing red.

“use my height and reach advantage. Make sure you never got in my space by teeping you away, or going for your body until you collapsed.” It was weird to talk about this, to tell each other how they were planning on hurting the other.

“how many rounds do we let it go before the end?” it was a fair question, one that they had to figure out now instead of tomorrow or the next day.

“no ones expecting it to go to the end, it would be weird if it did. I think we come out swinging till the second round, then we end it” it was the perfect amount of time, not to fast but also not to long. There were no way people would be able tell it was staged.

“right.” Magnus didn’t say anything else. Alec knew he was thinking about what he was going to do after the fight, how he would lose.

“do you have to train in the morning?” alec asked, trying to get his mind away from the fight, to something he had control over. His words brought a smile to magnus face

“it seems that I don’t” he moved closer

“it seems that I don’t either” he moved so his arms where around magnus waist

“I have to hit pads in the afternoon but other than that my father doesn’t want to see me” he put his hands on alecs neck “how about we tell Izzy to cover for us and stay in bed till noon”

“order room service” alec moved even closer so that they shared the same air space. All he wanted was to never leave the room again, to say her with magnus like his. Magnus pulled
away, out of his grip. He hummed in protest. Magnus said nothing, only grabbed his phone and sent a text

“we officially don’t have to exist until tomorrow afternoon” he moved back to alecs lap, arms going back around his neck. Alec couldent help but laugh

“what did you say to her?” a part of him dident want to know, fearing it was going to be to embarrassing to hear

“oh nothing,” magnus kissed his check “I just told her that we were taking a break from fighting, taking a morning to ourselves” with that he brought their lips together, alec smiled into it. he brought one hands up to magnus back, holding on to the fabric, the other went to the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair. He heard magnus phone go off beside them and he laughed when magnus through it across the room without breaking contact. He pushed alec back so he was on his back, his hands on either side of his face.

Magnus pulled away and alec couldn’t help chasing his lips.

This was what everything is for, alec thought.
he moved his hands under magnus shirt, feeling the smooth skin underneath.

He would break every rule, cross every line to keep this.

magnus pulled back, taking his shirt off in one fluid motion before connecting their lips once again.

This was worth everything.

He pulled back to catch his breath, magnus’ eyes were almost gold in the lamp light. He was beautiful. alec kissed his lips, his neck, his shoulders, anything he could reach. his hands moving over magnus, trying to catalogue everything, remember the feeling.

Nothing was worth losing this. nothing.

 

Unlike the days prior alec didn’t wake to a blairing alarm going off, dident wake up to an empty bed. He woke up to the sunlight filtering in through the windows, to magnus holding him close, as if even in sleep he was scared of letting go. He wanted to wake up like this every morning. Carefully he moved so he was on his back, magnus safely nestled beside him. from this angle alec could clearly see the bruise, dark enough that there was no mistaking it even against magnus olive skin. It was darker today then the day before. Alec leaned over to lightly kiss it. magnus only pulled him closer.

Today was the last day of normalcy tomorrow was the big day. Tomorrow they would get in the ring and change everything

“stop thinking” magnus mumbled against his chest, his eyes were open and he was staring at alec softly. He looked down

“good morning to you too” he kissed magnus nose “what time is it” magnus turned away from alec to check his phone

“almost ten thirty” magnus threw his phone to the ground and turned back to him “that was the best sleep Ive had all week” he layed back down, fulling on top of him this time. Alec huffed out a breath

“I agree. We still have two hours of none existing” he whispered, not wanting to break the bubble of bliss. He hadn’t felt like this since he was a kid

“oh whatever shall we do” magnus moved in slowly, connecting their lips. Unlike the night before it was not rushed, there was no force. It was slow and sweet, it made alecs head spin. He moved his hands so they were on magnus back. They had all the time in the world It felt like. They were so caught up in the kiss, in the feeling of each other that alec didn’t hear the door unlock. Didn’t hear the door open

“ izzy gave me her key, I came to get my coat—” Robert stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the sight in front of him. Alec immediately sat up straight the blanket falling around his waist. magnus full on fell off the bed in a mass of sheets from the fast movement, landing hard on the ground. Alec met his dad eyes.

he couldn’t breathe.

Chapter Text

No one moved, or breathed or said a word for what felt like ages which rational only lasted ten seconds. Slowly magnus moved to through on a pair of sweat pants lying next to him.

Rob didn’t seem to notice, all he could do was stair at Alec. He couldn’t breathe or think or move. his eyes moved to Magnus, “run” he wanted to say, magnus must of have seen the words written in his eyes because he shook his head. instead of running and leaving Alec to deal with his demons alone, he simply stood up and positioned himself between Alec and his dad. No one spoke. Magnus moved his arms across his chest defiantly, like he was daring Rob to make a move. Alec gripped the sheets around his waist till his knuckles were white, he couldn’t breathe. His dad knew., he knew, he knew, he knew. How could he ever have thought they were going to get away with this, that it was going to work. But They were so close. Rob moved his eyes from Alec to Magnus, his expression changing from blank to something atoned to rage. Magnus stood his ground

“who the hell do you think you are” he spit through his teeth, magnus didn’t move back or flinch, Alec thought briefly that magnus must be as scared as he is right now, the difference was magnus cared more for Alecs safety then his own. Alec could do nothing but sit there watching, his head was spinning, he couldn’t focus. His dad knew

“you know who I am” said magnus, his voice was neutral, dangerous. Alec focused on it. it was not what his dad wanted to hear as Before magnus could move away or react, before

Alec could do something, Rob pulled back his fist and hit him square across the jaw. Magnus stumbled back holding his face, but he did not fall. All he did was stand back up and set his jaw. Seeing Rob hurt magnus shook Alec from his shock and panic, suddenly everything was focused. He stood up from the bed and was across the room before he even knew what he was doing, placing himself in front of magnus. he caught his wrist as he went to throw another

“Don’t.” his voice was low, every word dripped in acid. . Rob froze. His eyes went to Alecs hand on his arm, to magnus, then back to Alec. He stared at him, deciding what he was going to do, what he was willing to lose. Alec didn’t flinch as Rob looked at him, he knew there were a thousand things he wanted to say to him in the moment, but Alecs gaze didn’t let him even though his hands were shaking at his sides. He was going to look his dad in the eye, show him what he was standing for. No one was allowed to treat magnus like that. Rob had made a decision, Alec saw it in the set of his face, how his eyes moved to magnus once more. he didn’t say another word as he moved to grab his jacket from the chair then turned around to leave.

“gym at four” he didn’t turn back to look at them, only walked through the door, slamming it shut behind him.

they didn’t move from their spots, Alec watched the door, his mind going a thousand miles an hour but also not thinking about anything. Magnus was the first to slowly move, as if he was afraid, he would scare him off if the motion was to fast. He grabbed Alecs hands to stop them from shaking.

“Alec…” his voice was impossible gentle, Alec didn’t look at him, only looked at the door. his dad knew. Whatever great strength had possessed him in order to stand up had abandoned him completely. He felt like the ground was moving under him, his whole body shook, he felt like his body was going against himself forcing the air from his lungs all at once. Magnus grabbed his shoulders, trying to steady him but Alec didn’t notice. His dad knew.. his dad knew and saw and knew everything had been a lie. What if he told Al? the thought brought on a new wave of panic, his knees hit the floor before he knew what happened, magnus followed him down. he felt hands on the side of his face, forcing him to look at him.

“Alec!” magnus s hurried to repositioned himself in front of him “Hey I need you to breath. Can you do that for me” Alec saw a hint of fear in magnus eyes, fear of his dad, of what would happen now, fear of Alec shaking in his arms.

“what-what if he tells your dad” he griped onto magnus neck, he needed the contact, the assurance that he was there, he clung onto him like he needed it to breath, He couldn’t lose this. if his dad tells Al it would all be over, he would lose everything. “I cant-I cant-magnus-” his breath was coming out in short rapid breaths. Magnus held onto his face tighter, made him look him in the eyes. His face was strong.

“shhh. im right here, with you and im not going anywhere, but I need you to breath now” Alec nodded, forcing his lungs to take a deep breath, then another. Soon Alec fell into Magnus arms, wrapping his own as tight as he possibly could around him. Magnus held him back just as tight. They both knew what would happen if Al found out.

“Don’t cry love, everything is going to be alright” was he crying? If he was, he hadn’t known it. he pushed his head into magnus shoulder and listened to the sound of him breathing, the feeling of his skin against his. He found himself wanting to say so many things “I love you, don’t leave me, he’ll hurt you, don’t go”, he wanted to run and never come back but he couldn’t say anything over the rapid sound of his heart. Instead he closed his eyes and focused on breathing.

He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, until Alec was not at risk for heart failure, until he could piece himself together enough to speak. The realization of what had happen made him quickly move back from magnus so that they were face to face. Magnus seemed to be startled from the sudden movement.

“your face” Alec murmured, remembering suddenly the punch magnus had taken from Rob. Alec lightly traced his hands over his jaw, the skin red where his fist had connected, it would bruise. He cant believe his dad did that. Magnus looked at him with surprise like he himself had forgotten about the punch, he shook his shoulders

“ive taken worse” he said. Alec couldn’t believe people like magnus still existed in the world. He moved so their foreheads were together

“im sorry, I’m so sorry you were caught in the middle” his voice was quiet. Magnus sighed

“no more apologizes, we have said enough to last a life time” it was true, it seemed like the only thing they do. Alec laughed as magnus moved in for a quick kiss. When he pulled back Alec couldn’t help but keep his arms around him, not able to let go.

“what are we going to do now” he looked at the ground as he said it, unsure if there was a right answer

“whatever you want to do” magnus stood up, making Alec let go. He offered his hand

“what are you doing” Alec said, taking the hand to get up. magnus walked over to the empty space in their room where the bed used to be and moved the blankets and pillows to the bed, moved his gear to a nearby chair so that there was room to move. he threw Alec a pair of sweatpants from the floor while cleaning. Alec looked at them before slowly putting them on, not sure what magnus was doing but not having the energy to argue. Magnus moved to grab his hand and slowly brought them to the middle of the empty space.

“magnus what—”

“shhh, close your eyes” he said while taking Alecs arms and placing them around his own neck. Alec didn’t understand what they were doing but he closed his eyes anyways. Once his arms were in the right place, magnus moved his so they were on the inside of Alecs, his hands gripping tight around his neck. Alec realized what they were doing

“why—”

“trust me” said magnus. “go” Alec sighed but did as instructed. He set his shoulders, unplanted his feet from the ground. he focused on having to depend on the feeling and movements to guild him. he moved his hand down magnus arm, trying to snake to the inside. Magnus didn’t let him so Alec threw a light knee in order to get in. the second he felt the break he shot both arms to the inside, griping one hand around magnus neck, the other pushing his arm to the side. He pulled him close so there was no space between them. he went to spin but before he could magnus changed his grip in order to pull up, breaking Alecs hold on his arm. He heard magnus laugh

“im not going to let you win that easy” with the words he re positioned himself so that Alec was twisted up in unnatural ways. He felt himself laugh

“its on” Alec let himself stop thinking about everything other than where his hand was going to go next, let himself feel the movement. Clinch was something Alec lived for. It was a part of fighting that was so crazy it was a whole other art form, one Alec had trained in extensively. It was a way to clear your mind of everything, stress, fear, anxiety, the only way to do clinch was to have a clear head, to not think about anything at all. Neither knew how long They stood their clinching, both laughing and fighting for dominance. Magnus had Alec in a hold that would have made less experienced people panic, but all he did was drop his shoulders and turn and suddenly he was in control again. He put his foot behind magus leg while spinning, before magnus could react he was falling to the ground, but not before Alec caught him. he opened his eyes, watching magnus face light up in a grin he hadn’t seen in a week, moving his hands to grab onto Alecs neck. Alec pulled him closer, their faces a breath apart

“thank you,” he whispered into their shared space. He wanted to say so much more then thank you but he couldn’t find the right words, so instead all he could do was repeat himself

“ for this, for today, for yesterday, for this whole week. Thank you” their noses brushed together. The panic of early was almost completly gone in the moment, his mind was filled with nothing but magnus. Instead of responding magnus closed the distance between them with kiss that said the words Alec couldn’t say, the words that were written in magnus eyes. The kiss was a promise. He pulled away slowly, standing them both up straight.

“breakfast?” he suddenly realized how hungry he was, the horror from the day making him forget about food, he was also exhausted. magnus laughed but nodded his head in response

“more like lunch”

That’s how they ended up sitting on the bed, empty plates scattered around, magnus watching a movie on Alecs laptop. Alec had started watching it but soon found he couldn’t keep his eyes open, content to just sit in magnus arms and close his eyes. They sat there in their bubble of happiness, not thinking about what awaited them on the other side of the door, that is until the world demanded their attention

“I hate to wake you darling, but you sadly have to go” magnus said, gently shaking Alec awake. He sat up in surprise. He hadn’t even remembered falling asleep. He stared at magnus for a second, not understanding what he meant.

“your dad” he put his hand on his face while he said it. Alec sighed. He couldn’t avoid it forever.

“yeah” he sat back on the bed running his hand over his face. It was time “can you pass me my phone?” magnus leaned over the bed to find his phone somewhere on the ground, after a while he sat back up and gave it to Alec. He looked at it and immediately wanted to stop. There were fifty missed texts from jace and izzy, from his dad asking where his coat was before he showed up to find it, he ignored those ones and looked at the ones from izzy

“are you in your room? Is magnus there”

“im assuming your out somewhere as your phone is off”

“I gave dad the key, he is going to get his jacket from your room”

“call me”

“im so sorry, please call me back, I love you”

“I hope your okay, Alec please call me, im freaking out”

“please”

Alec felt bad reading texts from his worried sister. He cant imagine what his dad had told her, when he had told her.

“im surprised izzy didn’t come break the door down” he said, moving to get off the bed. It was close to four and he didn’t need to add late to the list of reasons for his dad to hate
him. he needed to talk to izzy, but he couldn’t, not yet. Instead he sent her text

“im okay, not your fault. Talk later”

By the time he had a shower and got changed he had ten minutes to get to the gym, magnus set to leave shortly after. He didn’t know what to say to his dad, how to handle what had happened. But when he saw the anxiety on magnus face when he thought about seeing his own father, he couldn’t help but worry less. Although Rob would be mad, Alec knew he would never hurt him, not like that. He looked at magnus before he left. The plan was for Alec to confront his dad, demand to know if he told Al. As much panic that filled Alec when thinking about confronting him, there was no way he was going to let magnus leave if Al knew, he would face his fears if it meant saving him. his job was to find out, and then text magnus the verdict

“hey,” he said, making magnus stop in his movements of packing his gear. He had been packing the same pair of gloves for the past ten minutes. He was as scared as Alec. “its going to be okay” it was not enough, but It was something. Alec wished there was something more he could do, but in that moment the best thing was for him to find out what Al knew.

Magnus shot him a smile before turning back to his gear. Alec opened the door with a breath, he could do this, he had too.

Chapter Text

The walk to the gym seemed faster than ever before.
The elevator was empty, the hallways clear. Rationally it was because it was the end of the week, a new group of people had yet to show up for the weekend’s conventions and events, but Alec couldn’t help think it was personal. He wiped his palms on his jeans. He could do this. , when he saw the gym his dad was not waiting outside of it like he normally would, instead izzy was pacing back and forth in front of the door. she turned and saw him, her face fell. She ran to him

“im sorry, im so sorry” she fell into his arms, grabbing on to his jacket so he couldn’t pull away. He felt her crying against his coat. No matter how mad he was, or how scared he was, in that moment he was her brother, he held her tighter, running his hand up and down her back

“its not your fault” he said into her hair. He felt himself relax a little. She pulled away

“it is, I should have gotten the jacket myself, or came to check if you were there, im sorry Alec” she looked at him with such sorrow that he could drown in it. his face was sure

“izzy, its not your fault. He was going to find out eventually” she looked at the ground, not believing his words but also not wanting to fight with him right now

“what are you going to do” he ran a hand through his hair.

“im going to go hit pads” his voice was laced with resign

“where magnus?” Alec swolled the lump that formed in the back of this throat when he thought of magnus waiting in the hotel room for his fate.

“hes waiting to go meet his dad.” Izzy looked at him with shared horror. She didn’t say anything, there was nothing she could say, nothing he could say either.

“ill be here Alec. No matter what happens in there you have me and Jace, so does magnus” she put her hand on his arm in comfort. He wanted to talk to her, really talk to her about the insanity from the week, the trip. He wanted to sit down and have a drink with jace. He hadn’t even had a chance to ask how he was doing, how he was feeling. he wanted to sit down with his family and act like everything was perfectly normal and to laugh at how messed up everything actually was. but he couldn’t do that. Not yet.

“thanks, iz” he gave her one last look before he looked at the gym door before walking towards it. his hand was shaking as he opened the door

Like normal the gym was empty despite for a few people deep in their work outs. Alec walked to the back room , his eyes peeled to his surroundings to find a familiar figure. He found him sitting in the back room, near the corner away from everyone else. He had his head between his hands, the gear spread out on the floor. Alec awkwardly approached, not really knowing what to do or say. His dad looked up at him, gesturing for him to sit. He did.

“the fight is tomorrow,” his dad said, his voice was different then it had been the day before. It was controlled, calculated. “so we will just hit light rounds tonight, nothing crazy.”

Alec looked at him, a part of him was relieved that Rob seemed to be okay ignoring the events of the morning, at least until after the fights had happened, but the other part of him had to know.

“sounds good,” he looked at the ground. The air around them grew tense. They both knew what Alec was going to say. “dad—” he tried, but found he couldn’t get the words. His dad started wrapping his hands.

“you look like you did when you came home crying about that guy who pushed you down the stairs when you were younger. You didn’t want to tell me about it because you thought I would get mad for how could the son of a fighter let someone push him down the stairs” Alec remembered that night. His dad had not yelled or screamed, only took him to the gym the next morning to show him how to punch. Alec looked at his dad.

“dad,” he took a breath “about—about earlier,” he ran a hand through his hair, this was harder than any fight he had ever done. In a twist of character his dad let him speak. “we can wait until after the fight for this conversation, for us to go toe to toe with each other but I do need to know something” his dad stopped wrapping his hands and was looking him in the eye. Alec didn’t back down. “did you—did you tell Al? the silence after seemed to go on forever. Alec didn’t want to hear the answer, or maybe he didn’t want to face what would come after. Rob sighed, finally breaking eye contact

“I don’t understand it,” he looked down at the floor, he didn’t want to see the look in his dads eyes “I don’t understand it at all. But I guess the world is changing” Alec sharply looked up “I don’t like it Alec, and I won’t apologize for taking a shot at Magnus, but even I know better than to tell Al. it’s your business” Alec was almost to shocked to respond. His dad wasn’t yelling, or throwing punches. He might not like it, but he didn’t disown him. Alec let out a breath of relief.

“thank you” he said. He took out his phone to text magnus, knowing he was waiting in fear for what he was going to say. After he put his phone back in his pocket

“but what are you thinking? This fight is everything we have ever worked for, everything you have ever worked for. How could you do this now” Alec realized his dad was more upset about how it affected the fight, not the fact he found out his son is gay.

“do you really think I wanted it to happen like this?” he took his gloves out of his bag so that his hands had something to do.

“I don’t care what you guys are doing behind closed doors, when you wake up tomorrow you are competitors. He is not your friend, he is someone who you need to beat in the ring, he is the thing that stands in the way of what you were born for” Alec couldn’t help remembering the conversation he had with jace the night before his big fight. It seemed like a life time ago. His dad looked at him with pure conviction “you have to win tomorrow. I don’t care if you made it complicated, you have to win. Do you understand?” Alec nodded his head.

This fight meant more to his dad then he thought, it meant more to Magnus dad then they could understand. This fight was never about them or what they wanted, it was about their families, about their fathers finally proving who was better. “good” with that Rob got up and grabbed the pads, Alec following behind him.

Pads were different that day. It wasn’t smooth or easy. It was tense and awkward, Alec not knowing what his dad was going to throw, or where he was going to move. he was grateful when the final buzzer went off. He went to put his stuff down and realized jace was standing in the corner or the room. He smiled while walking over to him.

“jace,” he put his arms around him in a small hug “how have you been? How are you feeling?” he pulled away, dropping his gloves to the ground.

“im good, feeling strong. Izzy told me what happened” jace gave him a sad smile. Alec didn’t want to talk about it anymore. He suddenly didn’t want to talk about magnus or the fight or his dad or any of the bullshit he has had to deal with, he wants to talk about jace and jordan and how he’s feeling and the girl he’s sure jace is stalking, things they would normally talk about. Jace must sense his unease because he drops the subject, his face suddenly changing. “you know, this hotel has a pretty great bar, I should know” it was a question that Alec usually would have answered with no, especially the night before a fight, but when he looked back at his dad he wanted to forget. Even if just for a night. He looked back at jace

“please.”

“your telling me, that Jordan and Jace are friends?” they had gotten to the bar hours ago, and Alec had lost track of how many drinks he had had, not that he cared. All he cared about was the warm feeling in his stomach. Jace laughed beside him

“hes actually a pretty cool dude” he took another sip of his drink.

“mmhm” Alec was never known for being a good drunk person, mostly because he very rarely drank and when he did it was in the safely of his kitchen where no one else would have to witness his awkwardness

“its been such a fucked-up week” he said honestly, it had in fact been true

“im with you man” the bar was near empty by this point of the night, the only people to bare witness to their conversation were the bar tender who was giving them weird looks and a man at the back of the room who had been there as long as them

“first your hurt, then magnus is his perfect self and screws with my plans and makes me feel emotions, then dad shows up because of the fight!!” he pushed his empty glass in front
of him

“it has been shitty. On the bright side its almost over” Alec would have cheers to that if he had anything left.

“yeah but no, the fight being over only makes It worse!!!” he moved closer to jace although his voice only got louder “magnus is going to lose the fight, then his dad is most likely going to murder him, then I will have to murder his dad for murdering magnus and then ill end up in jail so really what was the point of any of it” he almost fell off his chair by the end, only being saved by jaces hand on his shoulder

“alright I think you’ve had enough bud” he laughs while looking around nervously, probably trying to see who was listening. Alec didn’t want to go back yet.

“nooooo” he protested, taking a drink of whatever jace was drinking. His face was hot and fuzzy from the alcohol, he wanted to curl up and go to sleep right there at the bar.

“yesss, you have a big day tomorrow” jace moved to pay the barterer

“that’s the problem!!!” Alec didn’t get up, not done yet. Jace sighed but sat back down

“Alec, this is up to you. You need to do what you think is right, you like magnus right?” Alec smiled, his mind running over thoughts of him.

“cant you see jace!!!” his voice was louder then it rationally should have been “ I love him” normally Alec would never said this to jace, never to anyone really but he couldn’t stop the words once he thought them. Jace gave him a look he couldn’t process

“then you need to do whatever you think is right. Of course, you probably won’t remember telling me any of this, so it doesn’t matter what I say” that made him laugh, and he kept
laughing long after he should have stopped. Jace got up

“we are both going to lose somehow, no matter what happens” Alec said again, quite hopelessly. Jace moved to stand up, noting the change in Alecs mood

“okay, lets get you back before this gets to depressing, im sure magnus is wondering where you are ” Alec was surprised at how well jace held his alcohol. Alec clumsily got up.

“magnus is just so wonderful” jace laughed

Jace put an arm around his waist to steady him as they walked, it did not stop Alec from veering them sideways towards a wall, but jace was there to make sure he didn’t fall. He knew he would be dead if anyone saw him like this, even drunk he knew it was a bad idea but he didn’t care, or maybe he didn’t have the brain capacity to care. The walk to his room felt like the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, but finally they got there. Jace went to grab Alecs hotel key from his pocket

“where’s your key”

"on the table” Alec said casually. Jace just looked at him but didn’t say anything only knocked on the door. when no one answered he knocked again“its jace” he said, still banging his hand on the door. Alec laughed at jaces frustration. As he went to knock again the door opened to revel a half asleep magnus.

“i think I have something that belongs to you” jace said with a smile while removing his arm from Alec to hand him off

“magnusss” Alec said while wrapping his arms around him. he heard magnus laugh

“I see someone finally found the bar” he gripped onto Alec once he realized he was now completely supporting him

“it was sooo fun” he said into his neck. He was so tired

“yeah I may have boughten a few rounds” said jace guiltily

“all the rounds” Alec added. They all laughed at that.

‘oh thank you so much jace” he said, friendly sarcasm in his voice. Jace nodded before slowly walking away, Alec thinks he was laughing. With some struggle magnus managed to shut the door and maneuver them inside the room. Magnus pulled away from him, trying to walk Alec over to the bed, instead of cooperating like he could have he grabbed onto magnus arm, pulling him back in. magnus laughed

“what are you doing?” his voice was light with amusement, the heavy tone from the last week forgotten. Alec ran a hand threw magnus hair, over his cheek bone.

“you really are very pretty” magnus shoulders shook as he laughed that time, not expecting Alec to say that. When he looked up again his cheeks were flushed. Alec smiled

“im glad they gave me the right name then”

“Magnus ‘pretty boy’ Bane” he said in a mocking voice “it really does suit you” magnus laughed again before cupping alecs face with his hand

“im glad you think so darling,” he turned towards the bed “but now let’s get you to bed before you say anything else you will regret” he moved the covers from the bed, making sure
all he had to do was give alec a light push for him to fall onto it, which he did. The second his head hit the pillow he felt the edges of darkness fill his vison, he also felt magnus taking off his shoes. Before long magnus was beside him on bed, pulling the covers up over them both. Alec moved so his head lay on his chest, arms wrapped around him

“you are going to feel like shit when you wake up” he heard magnus rake a hand over his eyes, most likely envisioning the horror show the next day was going to be. alec didn’t care

“worth it” he said slowly, sleep taking hold of his mind, he embraced it “magnus,” the words were dragged out, barely there. he felt him run his fingers threw his hair, felt the rise and fall of his chest, he felt safer than he had in years. He felt magnus kiss the top of his head

“im right here” with those words, he finally let sleep take over him.

 

-He stood across from magnus in the ring, his dad on one side and jace on the other. Magnus stared at him right back, his dad like a devil sitting on his shoulder, a shadow telling him to win. His stare was blank, emotionless. magnus was nothing more than his opponent, nothing more than the thing he had been train to kill his entire life. The bell rings loud in his ear. Something seems wrong but he couldn’t place it, he chose to ignore it. he threw the first punch, and the second and third. He threw every punch and kick, ever shot was his because magnus didn’t punch back or respond, all he did was stand there taking shot after shot. Something was definitely wrong. He grabbed him for clinch, threw knee after knee, elbow after elbow, when he finally pulled away magnus was swaying on his feet, only a couple shots away from being on the ground, this was the moment he had been waiting for, this was the moment glory became his. He moved towards him with fire in his eyes, and threw an over hand right punch, the most pain effective one he could throw. Time started going in slow motion, magnus falling, the crowd standing on their feet, Al screaming in magnus corner, all of it was in slow motion. , he had done it. the second magnus head hit the floor everything changed. Suddenly all the joy and victory he had been feeling the second before was gone, replaced with utter horror at what he had done. Magnus. Magnus was not just his opponent, it was magnus, his magnus. He had hurt him, he was the reason he was on the ground bleeding unconscious. He felt his father’s hand on his back, heard the crowed scream his name, he didn’t care. he moved so he was beside magnus on the ground, no longer thinking about the victory, despising everything it stood for. He ran his hands over magnus body, his arms, his face
“magnus” he cried, willing him to open his eyes. He wiped the blood away from his face with his wraps, his gloves suddenly gone. Magnus dident move, dident respond. Alec held his body close to his chest, tears streaming down his face. He let this happen. he did this. suddenly Al was standing in front of him, rage written all over his face. Alec didn’t know what to do but hold magnus tighter against himself. It was his fault.
“alec!!”-

He woke with a start, tears streaming down his face, sweat drenching the covers and sheets. He looked around the room. He was in their room, it was dark.

“alec you’re alright, im right here, im okay” alec turned his head to see magnus sitting up beside him, concern written on his face. He ran a hand over his arm, trying to prove he was real. He put his shaking hands on Magnus’s, slowly running them up his arms, his chest, up his neck to his face. Magnus was real, he was safe. He couldn’t help let out a soft sob while falling into his arms, digging his fingers into the skin on his back. The thing with drinking is that it had a habit of giving him nightmares he couldn’t get away from, that mixed with the stress and anxiety of the fight was a perfect storm. Magnus ran his hand up and down alecs back, saying soothing words into his hair

“I don’t want to do this” alec whispered between breaths. The worst part of his dream was that it was real life. It wasn’t a dream at all, it was the future. He couldn’t imagine a world where he thought he could do this “magnus I cant” his voice was desperate, “I cant” he’s sure magnus could heart the agony, sure he could hear his heart break. Magnus held onto him tighter. he didn’t say anything, as there was nothing, he could say to stop it, soon the sun would rise and it would begin, nothing could stop time from slipping away from them. instead of trying to fix it they clung to each other like it was their last night on earth. Alec was sure the rest of the world could feel their heart break, their pain. He barred his face in Magnus shoulder, breathing in the sent of him, the safety of it. there was nothing they could do to stop the next day from coming, nothing at all.

Chapter Text

Morning came too fast. Neither had slept more than the two or three hours they had before alec woke up crying, choosing to afterwards hold each other close. But they couldn’t hide away forever. Neither spoke when the alarm went off, only moved apart. Alec on his back looking at the ceiling. He felt horrible. His head was pounding, his stomach turning, he felt like he had been hit by a truck. But Today was the day. The day they were both going to get in the ring and fight. Usually he would feel the burn of anticipation in his stomach, the need to move, the need to get in the ring. Today however he felt nothing but despair, so paralyzing he thought he might never be able to move again. Beside him magnus sat up against the headboard, probably thinking the same thing

“the first time I ever fought I thought I was going to die” his voice was far to loud. Magnus laughed at the grimace on alecs face but didn’t comment on it. he lowered his voice “it was the most horrible thing I had ever done from the moment I woke up in the morning. I was so nervous I threw up” alec laughed at that

“how old were you?”

“eight. I know, a late start but I refused to get into the ring until then. I remember the whole time thinking to myself ‘just don’t die’” alec laughed again, thinking back to his own similar experience “I thought I would, I never wanted to do it again” magnus fidget with his fingers in his lap

“yet here we are” alec said when magnus said nothing

“here we are” magnus repeated. No one said anything for a while, they both sat in a silenced filled with everything they couldn’t say. This was the last morning alec thought suddenly.
The last morning, they would be like this, when things would be normal without the impact of what was about to come. No matter what happened, they also had to go home tomorrow, for some reason that thought made him feel a a little better. Alec was distracted by his thoughts when he heard magnus phone go off. Slowly magnus moved to get it, though they both knew who it was.

“he wants me down in ten minutes” he said quietly. Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“my dad is probably waiting for me too” neither made a move, both wanting to spread this moment out as long as they could. it was magnus who got up first, throwing on a pair of
sweatpants and a hoodie. This was the last time they would be alone together before the fight. Alec stood up slowly, waiting for the world to stop spinning before he moved

“I told you you’d feel horrible” magnus said softly, walking over to put a hand on alecs back. He felt like death

“shhhhh” he replied. He leaned into magnus side, hiding his face in his shoulder.

“I have to go” magnus mumbled. Alec just nodded, trying to find the right words to say before it was too late

“dinner tonight?” it was not what he wanted to say, not the words that were running though his head, but it was all he could get out.

“I wouldn’t miss it” it was a promise and they both knew it. the air was heavy with all the words left unsaid, ‘I love you, I’ll still be here, come back, don’t leave, I love you’ It meant more than just dinner. It was a promise that they would both come back to one another, no matter what happens tonight. Magnus kissed his forehead and turned to go. Alec just stood there watching him leave. This was really it. he opened the door when—

“magnus wait—” alec walked across the room to pull him in by the front of his hoodie, alecs hoddie that didn’t fit him quite right and slammed their lips together with such force It almost knocked them over. Magnus just held on tighter, responding to the kiss with as much passion. They were like two people kissing for the last time. Slowly he pulled away. There was so much to say but they didn’t say any of them, there would be other time for that. Magnus picked up his bag and gave alec one last look before heading out the door. and then alec was alone.

He didn’t have time to shower before meeting his dad, but before he left he took a moment to himself at the mirror. Like any athlete alec had superstitions, things he did before any fight, even if it was a fake one like tonight. He still needed to do this. he stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself. He thought the next time he saw himself In the mirror the fight would be over. The drama, the pain, it would all be over and he would still be standing there looking himself in the mirror. No matter what happens, no matter how horrible, he would still be able to stand here. He thought this before he left to every single fight, it grounded him, and calmed him. it gave him perspective and prevented him from getting to caught up in the moment. It was go time. He grabbed his bag, two Tylenol and a pair of sunglasses before taking one more look around the room. He would be back, no matter what happened he would be back standing in this room that night with magnus by his side. He would make sure of it

He stopped to get a coffee on his way to the gym, knowing that he wouldn’t be working out. He mixed his coffee with a package of protein powered that he bought, it was the best thing for hangovers. He knew His dad only called him so early so that he wouldn’t spend the day with magnus. The thought made him roll his eyes. They had three hours before they had to leave for the arena the fights would be held at as they were not being held at the hotel. They had to drive about an hour away, and had to be there by 11:30 so they could stop at a store before getting to the arena for the 12:30 press conference. He didn’t want to think about it now. Fight day was always crazy, everyone’s adrenaline and nerves, the anticipation was addicting. Alec couldn’t help bouncing as he walked down the hall. He saw his dad standing at the doors wearing a gym jacket, the crazy amounts of bags down by his feet.

“hey” he didn’t know where he stood with his dad after yesterday, where they had ended up after their conversation. His dad looked up at him, and it was like a new person. His eyes were bright and he had victory in his eyes. Alec knew his dad loved fighting, maybe more then he loved his own kids, and his dad knew alec would be winning the fight.

“hey champ, how are you feeling” he put a hand on alecs shoulder. He paused. His voice held no resentment from the day before, none of the hate or betral. He was just his normal dad

“oh I’m great” he said, taking a sip of his coffee

“why are you wearing sunglasses, its first thing in the morning” his dad looked at him with accusation

“oh you know, life” he didn’t really know what to say, his mind was in a bit of a bubble

“we need to leave in a couple hours so I thought we could maybe get some breakfast?” he said it slowly, like he was almost nervous to ask breakfast on fight day was another small tradition they had, something only him and his dad did, something they always did together. It had started from the very first time alec had stepped into the ring. He was so nervous he stayed awake the entire night before, thoughts of getting hurt and dying running through his eight-year-old brain. When the morning came his dad pulled him up and without saying a word drove them to the nearest pancake place he could find and bought them both breakfasts. It relaxed him enough that alec was actually able to have a nap before the fight and woke up ready to go. Since then it had become a tradition that followed him through adulthood. Alec nodded

“that sounds great” if his dad still wanted to do this with him, still wanted to keep the tradition alive even though he knew about magnus, about everything then it meant not all hope was lost. His dad gave him a large smile before walking towards the doors.

Although he had been in Florida for almost two weeks, he had seen very little other than the hotel. Other than the night market, he had been stuck at the gym or dealing with drama in the hotel room, he had forgotten that there was a huge active city all around him. he made a mental note that before they went home, he wanted to see more. luckily for them an Ihop was only a few blocks away and although the idea of pancakes and bacon made alec want to throw up, it meant enough to him that he would bare through it. they walked in a comfortable silence, enjoying the views and the heat. When they got to the restaurant they found a booth in the back and sat down. It was quitter then alec thought, probably too early for the breakfast rush.

“what do you think” his dad said in relation to the menu. Honestly, absolutely nothing

“hmm, I’m thinking just regular pancakes” it’s what he always got. And his dad would order chocolate chip ones with a side of bacon and eggs with a black coffee.

“good choice” there was an electricity in the air, both stepping around what needed to be said. The waiter came and they gave her their order along with the menus.

“you excited to go home tomorrow?” his dad asked trying to make small talk.

“honestly, not really” he sighed. His dad looked like he wanted to say something, something that was sitting on the edge of his tong but he couldn’t get the words out

“how are you feeling about tonight” alec didn’t quite know how to respond to that question, not the way his dad wanted him to respond. He wanted to say ‘I have to destroy the person I love so pretty fucking horrible actually thanks for asking’

“I’m good, feeling good” his dad sighed. This was the most awkward breakfast they had ever had. usually this was when he relaxed, when he forgot about the fight and the pressure, usually he settled down, today only made Him more on edge

“alec, how are you actually feeling?” that was new.

“do you actually want to know?” his dad swallowed his tong and nodded. He didn’t know what to say, half of him wanted to tell his dad the truth. Since his mom was never a part of his life, he used to talk to his dad about everything, school, friends, stress. When he was growing up his dad was his best friend. Until he grew up and realized there were things, he was never allowed to say out loud. He sighed, letting his shoulders drop “I’ve been better” he took his sunglasses off, grimacing at the light

“I figured, since you drank half the bar last night” he put his head in his hands, of course his dad knew. His dad always knew

“how” is all he said.

“I ran into jace on my way to my room last night. He himself was drunk and the last time I saw you it was with him. he also told me.” of course he did. Alec shock his head, feeling the
heat rush to his face “you know that boy can’t keep his mouth shut when he’s drunk. All I had to do was ask where you were and he told me everything” his dad was laughing, it was light. Alec slowly raised his head, catching on the last words his dad had said

“everything?”

“everything” he air got tighter around him, suddenly realizing that his dad knew where he was, who he was with. He took a sip of his coffee, hoping he may drown “so I’m assuming that whatever it is your doing was more than one night” that was not what he thought he was going to say. He had to use all his power to stop himself from spitting out his drink in what would only be a tv worthy spit take. It was not like his dad to ask about things like this, but alec knew there was no point in lying anymore. He let out a sigh and hung his head

“yeah” he said shakily. Before another word was said the waiter came with their food. She looked like she was about to say something nice and warm but senses the tense mood and decided against it

“ how long?” his dads voice was casual, taking a bit out of his food while saying it like he was talking about nothing more then the weather. Alec didn’t quite know how to answer that. How long. He himself didn’t know the answer

“a while” is all he could think to say. His dad looked at him with a look alec had never seen before. It was not anger. Alec didn’t quite know what to do. He thought his dad would yell, would disown him and curse his name but instead they were eating pancakes. He didn’t know what to think about that

“and you—you care about him” the words were forced, alec realized that he was trying. He was trying to understand, to talk to him. its more than he ever thought he would do

“yeah” he said back. His dad sighed and put down his fork

“why the hell did you take this fight then?” that was also not what he thought his dad would say. Nothing has gone the way he thought It would. His dad who had been so hell bent on
winning, wanted it so badly was judging why he took the fight. Alec had to make a decision whether or not to try too. He couldn’t help let out a laugh

“what was I supposed to say dad? “I know this is the chance we have been waiting for my entire life and this is my dream but im gonna have to pass because oh by the way im kind of dating with the guy I’m supposed to fight!” how was I supposed to tell you that I couldn’t do it, how was I ever going to say no to this” his breath was coming faster than normal, his heart was beating through his chest.. his dad seemed to not know what to say so he took that as his chance to continue “there was no way to say no. magnus thought we could do it, so we said yes” he finally took a bit of his pancakes, taking a moment to enjoy the shocked look on his dads face, and the fact that he actually just said that to his dad.

“you guys are like—together?” his dad was really trying.

“yeah” alec was shocked at his own words. It made him dizzy to think about how totally different his life was now then two weeks prior. He was talking to his dad about magnus, really truly talking to him.

“then what the hell are you going to do?” the look in his dads eyes was no longer victory, it was something closer to pity

“i don’t know.” the words were quiet. He felt like a child again, unsure of what to do, wanting his dad to tell him the right thing to do, the right choice to make. But he couldn’t. His dad seemed to realized something

“this was going on years ago” it wasn’t a question, it was a fact, a statement that left no room for debate. Alec nodded his head, taking another bit of pancakes
“you thought you were so clever, thought that I didn’t notice the missing alcohol, or that I didn’t hear you stumbling around in the middle of the night,” alec couldn’t say anything “but I did. I saw everything, I saw the heart break in your eyes,” he laughed “of course I thought it was just some girl who broke your heart, that you would tell me about it once you were ready but it was more than that, it was—it was him” there was nothing he could say, he just nodded his head. His dad knew there was nothing more he could say, that either of them could say. But everything was out in the open. All the deep dark secrets, the drama, all of it lived in the space between them, no one had yelled, or cried or walked away, they were still sitting at the table the same as always. it was his dad who spoke first

“the press conference should be fun” he laughed; they both did.

“don’t remind me” alec was more content in that moment then he had been all week. For a second it felt like everything might be okay.
They finished breakfast in a comfortable rhyme, talking about Jace or the gym., about a new guy who had just started about thought he was a UFC fighter. It was normal and nice and it did what breakfast always did, relaxed him, made him take a breath. But soon they had to go back to the hotel to grab their gear and leave, although they both left the restraint feeling better than they did walking in

When they walked through the doors Izzy and Jace were both standing there with their bags waiting to leave

“its about time slow pokes” Izzy said as she picked the gear up. Jace looked like alec in the fact he had a pair of sunglasses on. He nodded when he saw him. alec laughed. “are you
ready?” she took his bag like a champ, carrying it over both her shoulders. He tried to take it but she refused. It was another tradition of there. The fighter never carried their own bag on fight day, it was bad luck. He gave her a warm smile

“totally”

The group set out in the little car they had drove all the way to Florida in. he was thankful someone was paying for him to fly home. He sat in the front beside his dad, his sister and jace in the back. She flicked pieces of torn paper at him like a child, making sure to talk extra loud in his ear. Alec just watched them, liking the feeling of his family surrounding him.
this trip was supposed to be about family but had turned into such a shit show he had barely seen them. he was thankful for these little moments. He turned the radio up, izzy singing along in the back. The drive felt like seconds and before he knew it they were pulling up to the arena. Jace and Izzy got out of the car with all the bags. The plan was that Alec and his dad would run to the store to get food and snacks while Jace and Izzy dumped all the bags and found out all the information they needed to know. it was the usually way to do things. Luckily there was a giant Walmart right around the corner so they didn’t have to go very far. They parked close to the entrance. The things that you buy on fight day are not things you would normally buy, especially as an athlete. Its usually copes amounts of junk food, Gatorade, pizza, basically everything you haven’t been able to eat for the duration of the fight camp. Even though he didn’t have to cut weight alec was not one for changing traditions. He walked through Walmart, running and leaning on the cart like a child. His dad laughed behind him

“you never change do you”

First, they went to buy Gatorade, putting five different kinds into the cart, smiling at the normalist of It all. Second, he bought chips, throwing at least three kinds in. it was a little bittersweet. It was tradition after fights that instead of going to the after parties with the rest of the fighters they all go back to the hotel room and have their own party. Which includes loads of junk food and alcohol. Something told alec tonight was not going to be like that thought.

“you think you got enough food?” his dad said from beside him, looking in the cart filled with junk. He just laughed

“not even close” he went through that store lane by lane, putting anything in his cart that he might want, or that magnus might want later that night. His dad didn’t comment or say no, only laughed each time a new thing was put in. these were the simple things that would always be there, the traditions that was holding him together. While waiting in line he couldn’t help but think about magnus, what his day had been like so far. Hes sure it had been different from his. He is waiting by the bagging area while his dad pays for the food, another part of the tradition alec worships. He felt his phone go off in his pocket, most likely a call from jace or izzy wondering when he was coming back. He smiles as he fishes his phone out but when he goes to answer it, he doesn’t recognize the number, he picks up wearily

“hello?” there is silence on the other end of the phone “who is this”

“alexander” the voice says shakily on the other end. Magnus. Anxiety shots through him. why was he not calling from his phone, why was he calling at all

“magnus, what happened?” he walks away from his dad, trying to find somewhere quiet away from the noise. Magnus didn’t respond “talk to me, what’s going on” his voice was laced In fear and he knew it. something was wrong. He heard shifting on the other end

“he knows.”

With those words the line went dead.

Chapter Text

“he knows”

the sound of the line goes dead.

He knows. He keeps the phone at his head. He can’t move. he knows. His voice sounded so small when he said those words, so frail, so broken. Alec couldent think about what happened, how or why he knew or what he did when he figured it out, the thoughts overwhelmed him until he felt like he was drowning. He wanted to run there right now, to bust into the arena to find magnus, to hold him tightly against his chest to make sure he was alive and whole. Al knew. He stumbled to the exit of the store, not hearing his dad calling after him. he needed to get out of there, Suddenly the walls were closing in on him, he couldn’t breath. He felt like he had a golf ball stuck in his thought. Once he was outside, he fell against the wall, hugging his phone to his chest, unable to let it go. He knew. He knees hit the ground before he could register he was falling, people walking by probably thought he was crazy but he didn’t care. he was overwhelmed by defeat. His head was spinning, the stars where falling around him. it was all over. Any idea what they were going to be okay, that they were going to get through this in one piece was gone. His voice was coming out in short rapid breaths like he had just run a marathon, pure panic filling his head. There was nothing he could do to stop this from happening. He couldn’t stop hearing the sound of magus voice, how defeated it had been, how broken. What had Al done, what would he do next? He felt a hand on his shoulder, saw someone kneeling in front of him but he couldn’t see who it was, couldn’t comprehend them. he felt like he was falling, his brain not getting enough oxygen to keep up. he griped at the figure in front of him.

“alec! I need you to breath” someone—his dad grabbed the back of his neck to make him look at him. Alec must have looked worse than he thought because the look in his dads’ eyes was nothing but fear and sadness. He griped at the sleeve of his dad’s coat, suddenly ten years old again. What were they going to do, magnus was hurt

“dad” he pleaded, breath still coming out to fast, the world starting to spinning around him.

“son, take a deep breath” his dad knew about his anxiety, had dealt with it Alecs whole life right alongside with him. He had taken him to the hospital when he passed out from lack of oxygen, had let him hold onto him in fear when he felt like he was going to die. As harsh and cruel as his dad could be sometimes, there was nothing more important to him then his family. Alec slowly tried to take a breath, mirroring his dads movements. “good, keep going” he took a few more

“he’s going to hurt him dad, he’s going to hurt him and there is nothing I can do” he looked at his dad with wide eyes, needing him to tell him it would be alright

“who Alec?” his voice was firm, strong. Alec held onto it

“Al knows. He knows everything” he felt a tear roll down his face, he quickly wiped It away. He couldn’t cry, not right now. His dad didn’t say anything for a while, just looked at him like he was finally realizing something. “he knows dad” Alec realized that he was feeling nothing but pure fear, he was scared. “I can’t lose him” he didn’t know why he was telling his dad this, he couldn’t stop himself. The look on his dad’s face was accepting, like he had finally put the final pieces of the puzzle together

“his dad won’t touch him, not until after the fight. Winning is too important” rationally he knew it was true, knew that winning meant more to Al then this. Alec took a deep breath

“he’s okay” his dad was really trying to comfort him. Alec fell forward, feeling his dad slowly put his arms around him.

“thank you” he said quietly once he remembered how to breath again. He suddenly remembered they were outside a Walmart and pulled away, sitting a little straighter. His hands
were shaking but at least the world had stopped spinning.

His dad nodded. “let’s go” his said while standing up, offering alec a hand. He took it and stood up himself. He needed to get a hold of himself. He cleared his through

“im sorry” he said, suddenly very embarrassing about the fact that he let himself be seen like that in public. His dad just put a hand on his shoulder and nodded his head before picking up the bags of grocery’s at his feet. They headed for the car, Alec had no idea what he was walking into when he got to the arena, no idea what he—they were going to do. All he knew was that he had to get it together before the press conference. He couldn’t blow it now, not when everything was on the line.

 

When they got to the arena Alec no longer felt the bright anticipation in his chest at the idea of getting to fight soon, instead he felt pure dread. He walked in, his head held high, not letting anything show on his face. He saw people stair at him as he walked by, saw their whispers and points, it made him smile at least. He was shown to his dressing room and found izzy and jace sitting on the small couch waiting for him

“alec, my dude, how are you feeling” jace look at him, his face bright. Alec sat down on the floor in front of them, his back to them.

“Al knows” he sighed, not feeling the same panic from before, instead feeling nothing at all. It was silence behind him, both of them freezing. Alec didn’t want to think about it anymore, didn’t want to deal with it. there was nothing he could do, nothing he could change, he was so scared that he just felt nothing and everything all at once. He sighed “yeah” jace put his hands on his shoulders in support.

“im sorry Alec” he said. Alec was tired of everyone being sorry, there was silence again “hey, how about we go look around the arena” Alec smiled, another fight tradition. On the day of the fight, him and jace would go talk a walk around the arena, acting like complete idiots. They would see the warm up rooms, the food vendors, the seats, they would see the ring. Alec would walk around the ring, getting his barring’s. They would walk the path they would take on their way to the fight that night. It was something they had started doing when he was a kid and it had stuck. Fight day was nothing if not a day full of traditions.

“yeah, that would be great” he got up, letting jace take the lead. They walked in silence for a while they went down a narrow path that lead to the main lobby. They walked by different sound rooms, storage rooms. Alec took it all in, looking around at every little detail, in the back of his mind he thought of magnus

“I want another fight once we get back to New York” jace said. Alec laughed

“your barely recovered from the last one and you already want to go again?”

“absolutely”

“alright then” they made it to the lobby that was filled to the brim with different people, most of them at this point were different media outlets getting ready for the press conference. He put his head down, drawing as little attention to himself as he possibly could. he didn’t want to talk to them right now, not when he was with jace. He felt someone tug on his sleeve. He whipped his head around ready to say something cold when the words died in his throat. Standing in front of him, or more like below him, was a little girl. He looked around a little, seeing if anyone was watching before bending down

“hi there” he said softly. The little girl, who was about eight or nine was looking him dead in the eyes, even though her cheeks were pink with embarrassment she didn’t back down. Her hair was in a braid tight against her head, he looked down and saw her hands were wrapped “so you’re the big fighter I’ve been hearing about” he said. She smiled at him

She pushed up her chin “definitely” she was confident in a way that only fighters were

“what’s your name little fighter?” he said, he remembered when he was her age and the world still made sense

“Brenna” her eyes held a fight that he recognized, a passion that he knew as his own

“Brenna, sounds like a name id see on TV. My names Alec” she made a twisted face at him

“I know who you are! I watched your last fight on TV” he stood up and crossed his arms in fake defense

“oh yeah? What did you think” he was curious now what the child thought of him, of what she knew

“It was amazing, all of your fights are” she said, stars in her eyes. He bent back down to her level, feeling amazed by the little girl in front of him. before he could respond she took her chance and spoke again “I’ve been watching your fights since I was five years old, you are the reason that I started kickboxing” he didn’t know what to say to that. Sometimes he forgot that he was a name in the fight world. That people watched his career on their TVs, had watched him grow up in the ring. He forgot that people looked up to him. he was
speechless by the girls comments, taking every word she said to heart. He gave her a smile

“want to know a secret Brenna?” he said quietly, she nodded her head in excitement. “people like you are the reason I get to do this sport too” she seemed pleased with that, smiling the type of smile only kids can produce. He was shaken by jaces hand on his shoulder, signaling that they had to keep moving “I’m afraid I have to go, but I’m going to make sure I watch your fight Brenna. I have a feeling I’m going to watch your fights on TV one day too” she gave him a hug, seeming speechless. Alec smiled one last time as he stood up and walked away from her. they made a B line for anywhere that was not filled with reporters

“what was that with the girl?” asked jace from beside him, alec smiled

“she is fighting on the card today, said I’m the reason why” alec knew that girl would go far, he knew it from the way she spoke to him, how she looked him in the eyes and didn’t back down, she was a fighter through and through. Jace put his hand on his shoulder

“wow, that’s pretty cool” he said

“I am pretty cool” alec responded, walking forward with a bit of swagger. Jace laughed.
Soon they had made their way through the reporters and people, past security and were finally standing in the main arena where the fights would be taking place. He looked around at the hundreds and hundreds of empty seats surrounding him. soon they would be filled. In the middle of the room was a ring standing five feet up, the lights focused on it like a stage. Alec walked towards it, needing to feel it. He took his shoes off and jumped on to it, bowing before jumping over the ropes. The second his feet hit the canvas he felt all the stress and fear of the last two days melt away. He closed his eyes and jumped around, letting himself feel everything about the moment. He started to shadow box a little bit, let himself get int the feel of throwing on the slick canvas. He imagined the lights low, the crowd screaming his name. he thought of what it would be like to stand in the ring that night, mind blank, gloves on. He would seal the ring, say a prayer and then—then he would have to fight maguns. He opened his eyes slowly, suddenly not enjoying the feeling. a part of him wanted to scream at the world. This fight has been his dream since he was ten years old, his chance to prove once and for all the he was truly the best, a chance to fight like never before. He wanted so bad for it to be real, he even wishes he had to cut weight, anything to prove that it was a real fight. But instead he couldn’t enjoy the moment, couldn’t appreciate the day he had almost died for, would have killed for because it wasn’t real. This fight only lived in the minds of people who didn’t know the truth. He looked at the people around him, workers and fighters who were just doing their jobs. He knew a lot of them, had seen them before or trained or fought with them. everyone who was someone in this sport was here. He spotted a hooded figure standing at the back of the room, he didn’t have to ask who it was. Magnus. He wanted to go over to him, to run his hands over him to make sure he was whole. But he couldn’t. It would have to be enough that they were in the same room. he looked at jace desperately. He didn’t trust himself enough to stay in the room , jace gave him a knowing look. He jumped down silently. He knew he was the blue corner, he went to stand beside it, where his dad and siblings would be standing. He looked at the chairs set out on the floor and saw a path between them, the way he would walk out. He very slowly walked down it, ignoring magnus eyes on him from the shadows. He ran his hands over each chair, each railing using the touch to ground him. he would walk this path with his music blaring so loud he couldn’t hear himself think. His walk out music changed with him as he grew up. some people refuse to fight if they can’t use the same music that they have every other time, they use it as a good omen for there fight. Alec was not one of those people. The nice thing about walkout music was that it could be absolutely anything, it could be about fighting, it could be about your life, it was supposed to be something that would calm you down, get you in the right mindset for the fight. This time though he had been so busy with everything else he had told Izzy to choose his music for him. when he got to the end of the path he turned to look back at the ring, jace coming up the path behind him. Magnus was gone. He really appreciated jace in the moment, he knew alec needed to do his thing, needed to live in his own mind and he let him, made sure no one talked to him or asked him anything. Jace gave him his space on fight day because he knew Alec needs it.

“we should get going, the press conference is going to start soon”

Jace nodded his head and followed him back through the winding path.

in hind sight he should have talked to magnus about the press conference before hand, should have asked him what they were going to say, where the line was going to be drawn with how far they could take it, but they didn’t so Alec was going in blind. He met back up with his family in the dressing room before hand to get ready. He had never done a press conference before. Not one like this anyways. This one was going to be televised and seen by thousands of people. Not only did he have to get through his one, there was also one planned for after the fight. He didn’t even want to think about that one yet. he walked into the room to find izzy setting out all of his stuff on the table, his dad sitting on the counter looking at his phone. They all looked up when he entered.

“how was your walk?” said Izzy. He sat down in front of the mirror

“I saw magnus, he’s okay” izzy seemed to let out a breath, so did Robert.

“I told you he was fine” his dad said casually, getting off the counter to throw him his change of clothes. He didn’t say anything, just nodded. For the press conference he was going to wear something simple as was his style, His black club shirt with his jacket. It was ordinary and athletic. It was what everyone expected him to wear. The room was silent around him but not the uncomfortable type, it was the type that happens when everyone is so caught up in their own minds that they are okay living in the white noise. Alec loved it, it let him think. He needed to do something, he needed to do something that would fix things, but how could he fix this. he knew it didn’t matter if magnus won or lost at this point, he was still in danger either way. He had to figure out a plan and he had to do it fast. Before he knew it a girl wearing black came to the door to tell him it was time to go. He looked at his siblings before following his dad out the door.

The conference was being held in a room adjoining to the main lobby and it looked like something straight out of a sports movie. There was a big table that sat on a stage, the ground looking like a sea of cameras and microphones. He looked at the table and saw magnus sitting there in all his glory, any trace of distress completely gone from his face. The sight almost made him laugh with pure relief. As per usual Magnus was wearing something flashy, something crazy. He wore a dark blue coat with slits in the sleeves that exposed parts of his arms, his white shirt unbuttoned more than half way down. Alec noticed that he didn’t wear his team jacket or shirt, an act of defiance only he would know of. The only red he wore was the bandana around his head, alec knew it was to distract from the giant bruise that was still across the side of his face along with a new one under his eye.

Although he looked like something straight out of a fashion magazine with his feet up on the table, he somehow still looked like a fighter, still looked dangerous. He looked like he had already fought alec thought aggressively. Alec swallowed his rage as he saw Al standing in the corner behind him. he looked at alec differently, like he was an animal waiting for the perfect time to strike. Alec stared right back. When magnus turned to look at him he smiled his most sarcastic smile

“how nice of you to join us” he said before turning back to the crowd giving alec no more attention. Alec sat down beside him with no comment. A girl with a clip board stepped in front of them addressing the media

“alright now that both parties are here we will commence with the questions, please only one at time” she walked away quickly, leaving them exposed. A girl in a red skirt stood up first

“alec how are you feeling about the fight?” her look was determined, like she had waited her whole life for this moment. Alec gave her a nice smile

“im feeling strong. I’ve trained smart for this fight. I didn’t have to cut weight so I focused on my training, running, diet, I feel good” he was known for keeping his cool, unlike magnus who laughed beside him. alec rolled his eyes

“spoiler alert ladies and gentleman my team saw dear alexander drinking away the hotels bar last night while I was tirelessly training” the crowd laughed at the comment and its dramatics

“they must have mistaken me for you” alec played his words back in his head ‘my team saw dear alexander drinking away the hotel bar’, his team. He thought back to the night before, the guy sitting at the back of the bar. Magnus was trying to tell him it was Al. alec let out a breath

“I fear my dear opponent is a little hung over” alec shook his head with a smile

“that is in correct” he wasn’t known for his come backs, he was known for being respectful and straight forward. A new person stood up with a mic this time

“Magnus what do you say to people who say your career is over?” that was harsh alec thought

“id say since I’m the main fight on one of the top cards of the year that they were mistaken?” his answer was casual

“do you think you deserve this fight or really are you only here because you were in town” this reporter was a dick, alec confirmed. Magnus moved his feet off the desk and looked at alec

“well do you think this man sitting across from me deserves it?” magnus asked the reporter, he nodded. “well then considering we are the same ranking in this sport, have almost the same record and experience then I would say that I deserve it too wouldn’t you?” the reporter sat down without responding. Alec was starting to realize that this press conference was not going to be about the fight.

“magnus you are known as and I quote “the king of the Brooklynn club scene” are people really supposed to take you seriously as a fighter?” it was a stupid quest alec thought, had she never seen him fight? Magnus didn’t seemed phased, only laughed

“well my dear I guess you are just going to have to watch the fight and see for yourself” magnus was good at avoiding questions he dident want to answer.

“this ones for both of you, we know your gym rivalry is legendary but does that rivalry really expand to your real personal life as well, is this whole hatred thing only for show?” it was a fair question. A lot of times people pretended to have rivalries in the sport for show but really were friends in the real world. Alec imagined what would happen if he truly answered that question. he casual would say ‘its all bullshit actually as you see me and magnus are actually in love and hating every single one of you for making us do this’ he imaged how silent the crowd would get, Al would probably murder both of them on the sport but at least it would be televised. He turned to the reporter

“look at me, and then look at that” alec said slowly pointing at magnus, waiting for her to do as instructed “is there any universe where we look like we could possibly be friends?” before she could respond magnus bud in

“for the first time in my life I have to agree with my opponent. His lack of, well to put it delicately, personality assures that” people whispered in the room, alec was getting the last word this time

“and his lack of respect, ethics and personal morals discussed me” it was harsh but the crowd ate it up, magnus looked fake offended beside him

“burr did it get chilly in here or is it just me?” the crowd laughed. Alec rolled his eyes at that. For a moment the last two weeks seemed impossible, the tenderness of the morning feeling years away. He realizes that this is what it would have been like, what would have happened if the hotel staff hadn’t messed up their room booking, if they hadn’t been forced to share a room or face their past. This is all there would have been between them, harsh words and forgotten history. A new reporter stood up

“both of you are trained by your parents and I want to know what that is like, what is it like being taught by someone who also had to raise you ?” he saw the change in magnus, saw the way his shoulders tense and his face changed. It was only a split second that would be missed by an outsider but alec saw it.

“of course it’s difficult sometimes, tough to separate the gym from home life. It became easier once I moved out but it was tough as a teenager But overall I think its made us stronger.” He felt his dad put a hand on his shoulder from behind him.

“sneaking home at two in the morning from a party became increasingly less fun when my wonderful father would make me run three hours of sprints the next day when I was hung over” magnus voice was light as he said it, not letting anything show, alec wished he could hide his emotions as well as him

“Magnus id like to address what we are all thinking, can you shed some light on what happened to your face” the crowd laughed at that. Al put his hand on magnus shoulder in an act of what alec could only call ownership. It took everything in him to not stand up and beat the ever-living crap out of Al. how dare he touch him. he felt his dads hand on his shoulder tighten as if he could sense the longing. Alec wouldn’t doubt if the whole crowd could feel it. magnus didn’t let it show

“you do know I do a combat sport right? Sometimes, and don’t tell Alec this, but sometimes I do in fact have my hands down” they bought it, but alec knew the truth. He thought about how much the crowd in front of him didn’t know, how they had absolutely no idea about what was going on right in front of them, alec didn’t comment, didn’t make some snide comment, he didn’t trust his voice enough. Magnus knew it too became he refused to look at him. al on the other hand couldn’t take his eyes off of him. Alec had never wanted to kill someone as much as he wanted to kill Al.

“are we really supposed to believe that a glove hit you hard enough to do that?” magnus was trying to think up a comeback, for the first time failing to find the words

“its more likely he said something to the wrong person and someone finally put him in his place, isent that right Bane?” the words tasted sour as he said then, the wrongness of it undeniable. He hated having to joke about this. magnus looked at him with dramatic accusation, his hand going to his chest

“Alexander how dare you assume the kinda sorta maybe true thing that happened” the reporter seemed to realize he wasn’t going to get a real answer out of them and sat down. Alec didn’t know what he had expected out of this but it was not this, he thought someone might actually be interested In the fight but apparently not.

“how are you able to form real relationships with people while constantly in the mind frame of the next fight is, isent it lonely?” it was a fair question. It was a lonely sport. Although you had a team and a trainer and a gym family when it came down to It, it was only you and you along in the ring. Alec knew he became not a great person when he had a fight coming up because he couldn’t, he had to be cut off and cold because it’s the only way he was able to get into the ring with another human being pretending that only one of them was going to leave it. The fight had to be everything you are, everything you did, everything you lived for and if it wasn’t then you were going to get hurt. You couldn’t have relationships or friends, you couldn’t be close with anyone. He couldn’t help look at magnus teasing the audience out of the side of his eye.

“well I think anyone who has ever fought will say that it can be lonely at times, but the love for the fight makes up for it” he said looking at his hands. Magnus shifted beside him

“and alcohol, alcohol helps too” alec couldn’t help but laugh, he was not wrong. He never noticed before how magnus never gave a straight answer if he didn’t want to, that he was a master at avoiding questions he didn’t have an answer to. He also thought that not once had magnus ever spoken to him like that. The reporters along with the promoters of the fight must have realized that it didn’t matter what they said, they were never going to get a real answer out of magnus because before someone else could stand up the girl with the clip board was standing in front of the table again

“thank you for your questions! Before we leave and the boys start preparing for the fight lets get one last photo!!” he moved so that the cameras could see them. magus stood up first to face alec. He could feel Als eyes on him, his dads’ eyes on Als, it came to him suddenly that not even his dad knew what Al was going to do next. They stood in front of each other in a fight position, magnus fist centimeters away from his face, he knew he would feel his breath. They never broke eye contact, magnus smile was a challenge but his eyes were soft.
Alec returned the gesture, not even seeing the flash from the cameras

“come on, hug it out guys” yelled someone from the back. Alec laughed while magnus sighed dramatically.

“if we must” he said while moving in. it was the definition of a bro hug, the kind of uncomfortable looking embrace that everyone wants to end the second they start, but alec still relished in the feeling of having magnus close to him. magnus moved an inch closer to him, a movement so small it would be missed by anyone other than him. before he could think about it too much magnus was gone, standing across from him bowing to the crowd. They were usher out of the room before the reporters could ask them anymore questions. Alec needed to talk to magnus, needed to know what to do, if he was okay. But he knew he couldn’t. Not with Al standing over his shoulder at all times of the day. The longing and need to do something was suffocating, but he knew the best thing he could do was stay away. He out his head down and walked back to his room.

He had gotten back to his room only to find it empty and decided that he needed to not think for a moment, even if it was only a second. He turned the light off and sat on the couch in the middle of the room. He always had a nap on fight day, sometimes it was just too hard to be awake especially when you were waiting to get into the ring. He needed to come up with a real plan and he was out of time. He layed down and thoughts of magnus flooded through his mind. The press conference was…wow. Magnus acted like he owned the room, everyone waiting to see what he would say next. He knew the bruise below his eye was new as it had not been there when they woke up. it seemed impossible that he woke up this morning with magnus tucked beside him, had kissed him like the last time in the door way. All of that seemed so far away from where they are now. He wanted to curl up itno a ball and ignore it all.