It wasn’t the first time Jeongguk had been ignore by his best friend. It actually wasn’t even the second. But who who’s counting, he isn’t, not really. He knows he should probably be used to it by now, but he can’t help the tiny ache he feels in his heart whenever the older man blatantly ignores his words.
“Taehyungie hyung, are you even listening?” He’s getting even more frustrated. He knows he probably shouldn’t take this so personally, but he can’t help it. He can’t help but get annoyed. “Hyung. If you don’t wanna listen you don’t have to. It wasn’t important anyway.” The younger boy deflates. He stares for a little, at the way Taehyung runs his slender fingers through Jin hyung’s hair. The way the eldest breathes deeply and pecks Taehyung on the lips. He doesn’t mean to get envious at the easy comfort between the couple, the small knowings they share, or the secret smiles in their eyes. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows he should be a good friend. He happy for the couple ‘cause they worked hard to be where they are, and honestly? He isn’t, he just wishes he could have that too.
“No, come on gguk-ah, we’re listening” his friends says fingers twisting on the ends of the eldest hair. A groan is heard, jungguk cringes. If he had known the couple was in here being so clingy, he would’ve though twice before stepping in the room. “You get upset so easily.” Jeongguk lips turns to a pout, releasing a puff of air.
“Do you think I like getting upset over the smallest things? It’s not fun always getting your feelings hurt you know.” He runs his hand through his own hair. The sliver bracelet on his right arm sparkles in the lighting of the room, catching his eye. He remembers when they first got these together. Jiminie hyung, Taehyung hyung and himself. “A promise to a long lasting friendship,” they had called it. Feels like the meaning as been long forgotten by his two friends. He gets it, really, he does. They both are in a stable relationship now, they don’t have much time to hang out as they used to. And that is okay, just because they are friends does not mean they are obligated in making sure he’s not feeling lonely. He knows that, but that does not mean it doesn’t hurt when they don’t have time for him. “Hyung, why bother ask me to come over to hang out if you’re just gonna.” He raises his hand, gesturing to the poster of the couple.
“Gguk, we think you should get out more. All you do is play overwatch on your pc and eat seaweed chips.” Taehyung is now looking at him, his eyes a lighter shade of brown with the bright fluorescent lights. Jin hyung pops his head up on Taehyung’s shoulder, his left leg going over taehyung’s right, his hand stretching across them both, going under his soft cotton shirt to caress the younger’s back
“Yeah, well, all you guys do is fuck, so I guess none of us are really being productive.” He mumbles, turning to look at the flowers tucked on the outside of the window pane. An array of colours decorating the otherwise bland window. Maybe he should do that too, it would help with the scent of his apartment and he needed something to do anyways.
“That’s what couples do Jeonggukie, you’ll know once you start dating.” He friend looks away, a fond smile taking over his feature, when his eyes find the eldest’s. The amount of love and comfort between the would be considered cute if Jeongguk didn’t see it so often.
“Whatever, I’m going to the store. Don’t ask for anything ‘cuz I’m not comin’ back here.” He doesn’t give the couple time to reply, he heads straight out the door taking the stairs instead of the elevator. There is no need to wait when the apartment is only on the fourth floor. He makes his way down the flight of stairs, heading out through the front door. It’s not particularly sunny today, as usual.
He doesn’t get very far down the street before his phone starts ringing. He looks at the caller ID. It’s a picture of Jimin hyung. The one he took himself and insisted Jeongguk keep as his contact image. The stripped shirt hangs low on his neck, showing the crimson huge that covers his collarbone, his hair is pushed back revealing his forehead, his lips swollen-ly pouty pink as if Namjoon hyung has just kissed him. Jeongguk doesn’t look at this photo very often, it’s too much for him, and honestly he can’t for the life of him figure out why jimin insists he keeps this photo for his contact image.
“Hello? Jimin?” He breathes. He doesn’t get a reply. Which is strange, Jimin must’ve butt dialed him or something similar. He about to hang up and call it a day when he hears it. A moan, his heart drops to his feet and his palms start to shake. It’s like his worst nightmare has grown legs and came alive. There’s no way he could pass that off as a trick if the light or some shit, not when the moan is so clear and natural. A groan follows and immediately he knows who the voice belongs to. It doesn’t take long before his brain puts it together.
His hyungs accidentally called him while having sex.
“Excuse me sir our cafe policies are that you can only stay the maximum hours of two if you are not buying anything” the barista looks at Jeongguk, he is getting annoyed if the scowl is anything to go by. It’s not Jeongguk’s fault his hyung is two hours late, maybe Jimin hyung is on his way right now and forgot to let him know.
Yeah that’s it, he forgot.
“Uh yeah, my hyung is late. I’ll order something then, he’ll be here soon.” Jeongguk is getting anxious, he reaches for his wallet only instead catching the shakiness of his hand. “Can I have a large chocolate smoothie? Also a medium banana shake.” He’ll get that one for Jiminie hyung, Jimin like bananas. He quickly grabs a ten dollar bill from his wallet and shoves it at the barista, who in turn give him a wary look. Jeongguk looks away from his gaze, he pulls out his phone shooting another text to Jimin hyung.
“Where are you!!?” He mouths the words as he types them. He doesn’t realize that he is crying until his salty tears fall on his screen blurring the words written out. His breathing picks up a little, he doesn’t wanna cry in such a public place but he can’t help it. His tears keep falling without his permission.
He doesn’t want to believe Jimin would so this, that’s not the type of person his hyung is but the here he is sitting in the café alone, waiting for his hyung who is two hours late. He just wants to go home and cry in his bed.
God he feels like such an idiot. Such a little kid, always following his hyungs around, always wanting to hang out no wonder huh. They need some space. He starts crying at the realization, he sniffles a little, nose runny from crying. He tries calling the older man’s phone again, to no ones surprise the call isn’t answered.
“Here.” The barista comes back with both drinks in his hand and his ten dollar bill. “On the house, go home kid, he’s not coming.” He says his eyes pitiful. Jeongguk doesn’t want his pity. He looks at the drinks in the tray, envious of the way the ices melts slowly into smaller cubes, he wishes he could melt away too. He looks at the barista, he’s cute now that Jeongguk thinks about it.
I be he doesn’t get stood up by his own friends. I bet people actually want him around. He thinks. He looks at the name on the name tag. Kim Taehee, people like Taehees don’t they? He probably has lot of friends, important to them in a each way.
God. He hopes when he leaves the barista doesn’t tell all his friends what a loser his is.
A shake-y smile graces his face, he turns to the barista, a small bow and a thank you leaving his lips. He grabs both cups but leaves the ten dollar bill and exits the café.
Jeongguk takes the train home.
It’s been three days since he left his apartment, with the exceptions of classes of course. No one has reached out to him or even tried to. That’s okay he thinks, he is no one’s obligation. Though he doesn’t understand why Jimin stood him up, they hang out all the time and he never done that, Jeongguk usually the one that’s always late.
He makes up his mind to confront his hyungs. He takes and shower and puts on some clean clothes, grabbing his keys he heads out the door.
He heads over to Jimin’s and Namjoon’s apartment. Going up the stairs he sees his former neighbors, a sweet older lady with her four year old daughter. He takes a detour.
“Hey baby mama, how’s it going these days.” He gives her a hug and a kiss to her cheek, she smiles, checks rosy. He gets down to one need to give jisoo a hug too. “How’s my favorite girl.” She squeals, bouncing on her feet.
“Uncle Jeongoo. I missed you.” She makes grabby hands at him, he smiles and picks her up already giving into her. This girl is gonna get away with the so much, the worst part is she knows it. “Mommy said I couldn’t come over anymore.” She pouts small lips making his heart hurt.
“Well mommy should’ve told you that I don’t live there anymore. I guess she forgot so I’ll tell you instead.” He leans in close to her right ear, tucking the loose locks behind it and whispers “I don’t live there anymore soo” he smiles at the squeal she lets out.
“But we miss you, mommy too.” Jeongguk looks to her mother, she watching the whole ordeal smiling “Jisoo didn’t I tell you that already. Are you hear to see Jimin?” She takes Jisoo from Jeongguk, he nods. “Oh...didn’t Jimin tell you?” She frowns at him.
“Tell me what?”
“He told me he couldn’t babysit this week because he would be spending the week somewhere I can’t remember with Namjoon.” No Jimin didn’t tell him that, in fact he hasn’t spoken to Jimin in a week. He feels like he might throw up. He hands are starting to shaking again. He doesn’t need to tell that to Jennie, so he smiles. “Oh I must’ve forgotten then, I’m sure he had told me. I’ll be going then, be safe and you little miss behave.” He gives Jisoo a last kiss and leave. He rushes to Taehyung and Jin’s apartment.
He doesn’t want to believe it but the truth is there staring him in the face, daring him to think otherwise. Both couples left without telling him. No one wanted him to be there, if they had then they would have invited him too.
God. His life keeps getting better and better huh. He lets his head fall back onto the door, he is so tired, so tired of crying. He feels so lost right now. Why did everyone leave him. Doesn’t he matter?
He knocks again on the door. Knows no one is home right now, it just seems so hard to believe, his mind is in a state of denial, he doesn’t wanna to see what really there. He hears the door behind him open, and Taehyung’s grumpy neighbor Yoongi opens the door. His cat like eye squint at Jeongguk.
Jeongguk remembers him, he remembers Taehyung mentioning him. “ Grumpy lil Yoongi, he doesn’t like being disturbed, the cutest thing ever.”
“Can’t you tell when some is ignoring you?” He slurs looking like the softest thing Jeongguk’s ever seen. Jeongguk is having a hard time being offended by his tone. He looks at the way his oversized sweater fall on his thighs.
“They’re not ignoring me, they’re just not home.” Jeongguk says instead. He steps closer to Yoongi “you’re Yoongi right? Taehyung’s grumpy neighbor?” He asks and Yoongi scoffs affronted, he glares at Jeongguk.
“And what? You’re the kid that follows him around?” Jeongguk freezes, startled. He wasn’t expecting that, is that how everyone sees him, the kid that follows his hyungs around? Yoongi hand touches his, his face comes into view. “Wait no I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that, actually I don’t even know you personally I jus-“ Jeongguk cuts him off.
“It’s okay, you didn’t lie”