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A Night in Heaven, A Night in Hell

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Here’s the following image (that I drew and posted under the instagram account @vaarion.spam) that this short is based off of.


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Aziraphale was reading the Bible. He kept it on a table in front of him, and had it sitting up on a bookstand so he wouldn’t need to hold it. He was wearing UV protection sunglasses and gloves, so that the holy words wouldn’t burn his eyes as he read them, and the pages wouldn’t singe his fingers when he turned them.
But why would a demon ever want to read the Bible, if the consequences were this severe? First of all, a few words in this bible where misspelled, so that stripped it of some of its holiness. If it was a true bible, UV sunglasses wouldn’t keep Aziraphale’s eyes safe. Still, why would a demon want to read something so utterly dangerous?
The words reminded him painfully of Crowley. He was waiting for him, in the back of his shop, which sold forbidden wares. He had a non-refundable policy, but it’s not like people went to his store to actually buy things. Maybe a tourist would just think it was a quaint little shop with strange little knick knacks in it, but everyone within a seven mile radius knew its reputation.
Aziraphale was strikingly attractive, but less so in the way that people would want to date him. He was a one-night stand sort of person, which was exactly what his shop was actually for. The back room was perfect for wrecking havoc— he was ready for a feisty man or woman, who would plan on tackling him and breaking everything in the next room. He was ready for that. He was ready for people new to the art, and some of his more beginner sessions were practically teaching newbies how to impress their partner.
All of the people who have bought his “secret” services have gone home satisfied, and couldn’t help but talking about it the next day. They agreed he should charge more, for it was a cheap amount for a night of great sex. But the demon wasn’t interested in money. It was just his job. Plus, secretly, he liked what he did. All of his customers were usually genuine. Everyone really seemed to feel safe when he assured them that contracting STDs from him or getting pregnant was impossible— demons can’t create fertile offspring with humans, and they couldn’t contract human diseases either. Everyone wondered how he did it.
But today was different. This wasn’t for his job, this wasn’t for hell, and this wasn’t for one of his customers. As a matter of fact, if hell knew about what was going to go down today, he would have been dead within a minute.
He had no customers, and he wouldn’t for the next few days. The apocalypse had passed, and he had averted it with Crowley. He had actually lusted for the angel ever since he met him in the garden of Eden. But more importantly, he was the only being, human or inhuman, that he ever loved. And as a demon of lust, love was virtually impossible.
Aziraphale stood up and put the Bible back into a secure place. He began to pace. He was itching to see the angel. The angel seemed oblivious to all his sexual advances, but today he’d get it. He was sure of it. Perhaps not oblivious, but afraid. Maybe if Aziraphale could convince him that it was okay, to not be afraid, he’d be able to see him.
He heard the doorbell ring, and his heart skipped a beat. “One second!”
He crossed his shop, which was illuminated by artificial light. All of the windows were covered by the curtains. Aziraphale reached the front door, adjusted his neckpiece, straightened his hair, and opened it.
“Hello, Crowley.” He greeted, his voice steady. He stepped aside and allowed him inside his shop. The angel smiled his nervous sort of smile that always secretly made Aziraphale’s heart melt.
Crowley removed his jacket and placed it on the coat stand, as Aziraphale closed and locked the door, not forgetting to put the closed sign up.
“I will pour us some wine.” Aziraphale offered, crossing quickly into the back room. Crowley watched intently as Aziraphale swept behind the door, his long white hair fluttering behind him.
“So, do you have anything in mind?” Crowley asked, following him into the back room. “As to… what we’re going to do here?”
“Well, did you visit the witch? And her new boyfriend— ah, what was his name—“ Aziraphale began, bringing two glasses of red wine over to two chairs beside his desk.
“Anathema.” Crowley finished cheerfully. “And Newton Pulsifer. Wonderful people, the two of them. They were living in her little cottage that we dropped her off in a few days before Armageddon.”
“Ah.” Aziraphale sipped his wine, a few sinful thoughts crossing his mind. “I visited Sergeant Shadwell, and thanked Madam Tracy for letting her be your… ride.”
“Don’t say it that way.” Crowley growled. “So, have you heard anything from… your side?”
“No, you?” Aziraphale very subtly inched his chair closer to Crowley’s. Crowley noticed, but didn’t say anything.
“No. And frankly it’s quite liberating. Maybe they’ll leave us alone for the time being.” Crowley looked down. “What are you doing?”
Aziraphale was undoing Crowley’s tie. “It’s quite hot in here, don’t you think?”
Crowley’s face flushed. “I mean, a little, but I think I can undo my own outfit, I don’t really--”
“Tell me more about the Witch and her new boyfriend.” Aziraphale said, smiling only very slightly.
“Oh, Anathema.” Crowley corrected again. “She was very nice, quite pretty. They make a very good pair. I think they’ll be very happy together.” he was ranting again. Crowley started to rant when he got nervous. Aziraphale’s smile widened. He had undone Crowley’s tie and was now starting on his shirt buttons, going from the top to the bottom of the collared shirt.
“I didn’t notice you had a fish tank before.” Crowley randomly brought up. Now Aziraphale knew he was just intentionally avoiding talking about what Aziraphale was doing. Crowley commented on the fish tank almost every time he was over here. Usually it was about how “those fish have really seen some stuff.”
Aziraphale was nearly done unbuttoning Crowley’s shirt. He had never seen this much of the angel, and so far he was pleased. He gently opened the angel’s shirt, so that he could see his chest. There was a line of hair running from his collarbone down to his crotch, but Aziraphale couldn’t see past Crowley’s belt. He was slightly-- well, incredibly impatient, but he kept calm as he slowly grasped Crowley’s belt buckle.
Crowley had grabbed Aziraphale’s forearm to stop him from continuing. The demon didn’t like being interrupted, but fought back the urge to continue undressing Crowley.
“I know what you want, I know what you’re doing, and the answer is no.” Crowley said firmly.
“Why not?” Aziraphale replied softly, loosening his grip on Crowley’s belt. “You said yourself Heaven and Hell probably won’t bother us for a while, and what are they going to do about this?”
“If they find out, I-- we-- we’re dead.” Crowley stutters.
“They don’t ever need to find out. No one needs to find out.” Aziraphale said softly, with a small hint of temptation in his voice.
Crowley didn’t say anything. His hands were shaking, but he kept himself steady. “No one will know?”
“No one.” Aziraphale reassured.
Crowley took a deep breath. “Fine. But be quick, we can’t--”
There wasn’t a second that Aziraphale would waste. He scooped up Crowley in his arms and kissed him, waiting for the right moment to go further.
Crowley was surprised, no doubt, but melted into Aziraphale’s surprisingly soft touch. A strange feeling coursed through Crowley, a feeling that he never actually felt before. He was worried for a moment, but he felt safe in Aziraphale’s arms. He was quite focused on Aziraphale’s hands, that he barely noticed when Aziraphale took his mouth off of Crowley’s. The demon started planting kisses down his jawline and onto his neck. And Crowley hadn’t even noticed it until he felt a sharp pain in his lower neck. Aziraphale had bitten him.
“Ah—“ Crowley gasped, quickly grasping onto Aziraphale’s jacket. Under Crowley’s chin, Aziraphale’s determined expression changed rapidly to a pleased smirk. He would do anything to hear the angel make another noise. He wondered vaguely how far he could go.
Aziraphale sucked the skin around the bite. He could feel Crowley’s grasp getting tighter. The demon bit Crowley again, this time on his collarbone. He could hear Crowley whimper in his ear, a sound better than even the most lavish of concerts Aziraphale had attended. He hoisted up Crowley’s body, and ran a finger over one of Crowley’s nipples. The other hand was holding him up. The angel buried his head in Aziraphale’s shoulder, and bit down on his shoulder to keep himself from making any more noise.
Aziraphale bit down on Crowley’s other nipple. When he felt Crowley stiffen and heard a considerably loud gasp come from his mouth, he licked the bite and traced circles around Crowley’s nipple with his tongue. His other hand was stroking the hair on Crowley’s chest.
“Aziraphale— I really—“ Crowley began to speak into Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Think— that’s— enough—“
Aziraphale was disappointed. Not in Crowley, but in himself. Crowley’s legs were wrapped around Aziraphale’s thighs, but the demon still couldn’t feel a bulge in Crowley’s pants. He would have thought that the angel would have gone through the effort of giving himself one after a few bites.
He set Crowley down onto his desk, and consciously wrapped Crowley’s leg around his own so that he couldn’t run away. As he was being set down, Crowley subconsciously grabbed Aziraphale’s ass for support. This made Aziraphale’s smile even wider. “So eager, are we?”
He could see that Crowley’s face flushed red, and the next thing he knew Crowley’s hands had been removed from his behind. The angel was leaning against the wall, his eyes wide with fear.
“We really should stop.” Crowley gasped. “That’s enough, right?”
It most certainly wasn’t enough. Not for Aziraphale. The demon placed one of his hands beside Crowley, and the other one under his chin. “We will not stop. I have plans for you. All you need to do is let me lead. And… you need to put in a little more effort.” Aziraphale winked, and subtly licked his lips.
Crowley, who was looking everywhere except for Aziraphale’s face, had finally made eye contact with the demon. “And if I don’t?”
Aziraphale chuckled, and ran his finger down Crowley’s chest. “You will.” He stopped right above where Crowley’s cock would be, and began to unbuckle his belt. Crowley was looking at the ceiling, counting in French for some reason. Probably to keep his mind in a less sinful place. Or perhaps he was determined not to go through the effort.
When the belt was undone, Aziraphale began to undo his own jacket. He pulled it off in two seconds, and then unclipped his neck piece. He undid the first two buttons on his shirt, before grabbing the opposite sides of his shirt and lifting it gracefully over his head. He took out his ponytail, and let his long, white hair drop gracefully onto his shoulders.
Crowley had stopped looking at the ceiling right after Aziraphale took off his jacket. His face was illuminated by the light on the ceiling. Crowley reached up toward his face and took off his glasses, which he didn’t need, but wore them anyway because he thought he looked good in them.
“I will go easy on you, for now.” Aziraphale muttered seductively. His hands were back near Crowley’s crotch, and he still couldn’t feel anything. “Oh well, I suppose—“
Crowley wasn’t ready when Aziraphale stripped down his pants with surprising speed. He gasped and his legs sprung together so that Aziraphale couldn’t see any important parts of Crowley’s lower region.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad, let me see.” Aziraphale cooed as he worked Crowley’s pants and underwear off of one of his legs. They were still hanging on to the other.
“No no no no no no— God, forgive me, forgive me Lord, forgive me, for I am about to—“ Crowley stammered, his hands covering his bright red face.
“She won’t forgive you. She doesn’t know what’s going on.” Aziraphale consoled. “You keep saying her name like that and you’re going to be even more fucked than you will be in the next few minutes.” He added with a smile. “Now, where were we?”
Aziraphale looked at Crowley for a moment, who was looking at him through one of his fingers. “Where were we, Crowley?” Aziraphale repeated. The demons hands started to snake down Crowley’s legs. “you do need to spread your legs for this to get started, you know that, right?”
Crowley blinked a few times, and then sighed in defeat. He slowly unclasped his legs together, revealing what Aziraphale always wanted to see.
“you… are beautiful.” Aziraphale breathed, running his index finger down Crowley’s new shaft. It was longer than most of his male lovers who he tended to over the years, but skinny like the angel. Speaking of the angel, tears started to form at the corners of his eyes. Crowley didn’t exactly know why.
“I want to do so much with you, but we don’t have enough time.” Aziraphale smiled. He licked his finger and started to massage Crowley’s cock. He ran his finger up and down, trying to find one sensitive spot—
Crowley threw his head back and moaned. Aziraphale smirked. The demon kneeled down, and cupped Crowley’s cock. He placed his mouth on Crowley’s sensitive spot and sucked slowly.
“OH! OH OH OH!” Crowley’s fingers were digging into Aziraphale’s desk, making permanent marks. “Mercy—“ Crowley’s voice cracked on the last syllable, and his cock grew hard. There was precome forming at the tip already.
“Now now, we aren’t done.” Aziraphale took his mouth off of the angel. “If you come now we won’t have done everything.” Aziraphale stood back up, and placed his hands on the inside of Crowley’s thighs, pushing them apart. He’d need space if he was going to slam the angel.
“What are you—“ Crowley murmurs, looking down at what Aziraphale was doing. He didn’t realize what the demon was going to do until Aziraphale dropped his pants only slightly, and inserted himself.
“GOOD GOD!” Crowley shrieked. He was being ripped apart from the inside, and now the tears were pouring down his face from the pain. But it was a good kind of pain, the best pain the angel had ever experienced. It was more pleasurable than anything he had ever done before. It was only two seconds after the initial shock that he realized he had used God’s name in vain. The vainest place he could have ever used her name. And Aziraphale felt better than ever for hearing that blasphemy come from his angel’s mouth.
Aziraphale thrusted into Crowley. Crowley had his knuckle shoved into his mouth to keep him from shouting more blasphemy, but he took it out anyway and gave a strangled half-scream half-moan. That sound made Aziraphale go hard. He wanted to hear more sounds that the angel could make, and he never wanted this moment to end. It was unreal to him that the moment he dreamed of for centuries on end was finally happening. He pulled back again slightly and slammed into Crowley, going even deeper. He doubted he could go much further. Aziraphale’s cock was perhaps not as long as Crowley’s, but it mimicked his stature— it was thick. Gloriously thick, as one of his customers described it.
“I… want… to…” Crowley gasped back to Aziraphale. “I… can’t…”
“Go ahead.” Aziraphale replied in a soothing voice.
Crowley bit his lower lip, and his cock pulsed and erupted. His mouth was open wide, and drooling more than ever. Ropy strands of come continued to splatter on him and Aziraphale’s chest. Neither of them cared. As Aziraphale watched, the sight made him climax as well. As he did, he placed his hands on either side of Crowley’s body and bit his lip. Crowley bucked his hips at the end of his climax, and breathed heavily as Aziraphale pulled out very slowly as his orgasm ended as well.
The two didn’t say anything for three whole minutes. Aziraphale was still processing what had just happened, and so was Crowley, but in a much different way. Aziraphale was breathing heavily while collapsed onto a chair, and Crowley was still resting on the desk.
“Aziraphale…” Crowley murmured, his voice small. “I’m cold.”
The demon had resisted performing any miracles during the act, but this was more important. Aziraphale snapped his fingers, and the two of them were in Aziraphale’s soft, king-sized bed, fully clean and with thin pajamas on.
Crowley shivered underneath the covers. He scooted closer to Aziraphale and wrapped his arms around him. Crowley was surprised that he now felt warm and safe.
Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley’s shoulder. He leaned over and let his head rest on top of Crowley’s.
“I love you, you know.” Aziraphale muttered. Crowley lifted his head for a moment.
“Really?” Crowley asked, his voice hopeful. “But you can’t love, you’re the demon of lust.”
“That’s what I thought.” The demon replied. “Apparently I was wrong.”
Crowley smiled and buried his face in Aziraphale’s chest. “I love you too.”
Aziraphale was happier than he had ever been in a thousand years. The angel he had loved for six millennia was finally in his arms, as happy as he was.
“I get to top next time.” Crowley muttered, just loud enough so that Aziraphale could hear.
“Where did you learn that?” Aziraphale smirked. “You couldn’t top in a million years.”
“Oh really?” Crowley looked up at him. “Tomorrow I’ll prove you wrong. I know how to now.” He smirked, and it looked nearly identical to when Aziraphale had smirked during sex.
“Sure.” Aziraphale slid under the covers, and Crowley snuggled closer to him. “Good night, dear.”
“Good night.” Crowley whispered.
And together, they drifted off to sleep.