Challenge 634 - coast
Title: Time alone.
Word count: 750
A/N: Thanks to Bluewolf for the beta.
Jim looked at the sign that said ‘Clayton Falls – 30 miles’ as he passed by in the truck. Maybe he’d stay there a day or two, in a cheap hotel. It was close to the place where he wanted to go fishing. He smiled when he thought about the trout he would catch.
That smile faded when he thought about his partner. He was in part the reason for this lone trip. Jim wanted to think about his feelings towards Blair, about where was their relationship going. He had to be alone to do that. He couldn’t think about that with Sandburg always in his face.
He looked at the side of the road. There's a little strip of grass where you can coast if you blow a tire or a ventricle, he thought, ruefully. Time was passing by, and he wasn’t getting any younger. If he didn’t act soon, maybe he would never do it.
But at the moment, he needed time, time alone.
When he arrived to Clayton Falls, he filled up with gas and then looked for a hotel. He found one, but the owner said the beds were broken down and the rooms were a mess. He offered Jim one of the couches in the living room, and he accepted.
Then he went out and headed for the diner. But it was closing and the owner was just leaving. So, Jim went to his truck and grabbed his duffel bag, where he had some jerky to munch.
Once at the inn, he went to the bathroom (that luckily wasn’t a mess). After that, he took off some clothes and lay down on the couch. It was very uncomfortable.
He couldn’t sleep in those conditions. All he could do was think. Think about Blair. He couldn’t forget the disappointed face Blair had when he said that he wanted to be alone. His partner just couldn’t imagine that he wanted to be away from him. It was like Simon had said, they were almost joined at the hip.
When he met with Lila again, he thought he was wrong about what he felt for Blair. His love for her rekindled like fire from the ashes of the past. She turned out to be a professional killer, but she died trying to save him. Her death hurt very deeply. But after some time, that hurt, and that love, vanished. They weren’t real.
That made him think more. His feelings for Blair, whatever they were, had seemed to vanish when he was with Lila. However, they reappeared when she was gone. Were those feelings the real thing, and Lila was just a distraction?
The real question was, what did he feel for Blair? Jim thought about what would happen if Blair died, as Lila did. The pain he felt in his chest, thinking about that, left him amazed. He’d felt the same with Lila’s death, but somehow, he knew that Blair’s death would be devastating for him. He was more than just his friend. He was his partner, his guide, as Brackett would say. If Blair died, a part of Jim would die too.
Suddenly, he knew it. Like an epiphany, he realized the truth. They were two sides of the same coin. Two halves of the same soul. He knew that they’d been Sentinel and Guide in other lives in the past. How he knew it, he didn’t know. He just knew it.
So, Blair and he were meant to be together. All the women that had appeared in his life where nothing compared to Blair. This was the real thing. And then he knew what he felt for his partner and guide. It was love, pure and simple.
And he knew that Blair loved him, though he seemed to be a crazy skirt chaser. He knew that was just a façade. Blair loved him. He wouldn’t still be with him, after all the kidnappings, airplane jumping, punches and blows to the head, getting drugged, the bombs, etc. Someone that didn’t love him would already have walked away. Besides, Jim had smelled the pheromones that poured out of him when they were alone. Blair could have been thinking of some girl, but he doubted it. The way he looked at Jim said it all.
He didn’t need to think anymore. His doubts had vanished. He’d return to Cascade in the morning. And have a very serious conversation with his guide and future lover.