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The Scary Monster and Eve of the New World

Chapter Text

The late afternoon sky seemed rushed to an early dusk as unexpected storm clouds began to roll in. The wind had picked up considerably and the scattered raindrops grazed the rider’s skin like tiny dull blades as the horse hurried along the side of the mountain.

“We have to find that place before the storm hits, Silver Bullet.”

The other riders had long since disappeared behind him, save one. This mystery rider seemed to be hiding amidst the patchwork of meadows and forests. Just as he believed he would catch them in his sights they would vanish behind clusters of pine and spruce trees. He wasn’t, however, going to allow this nuisance to slow his pace or divert his attention from the more pressing matter of the storm.

The sky had quickly become overrun by deep gray clouds and the temperature was dropping rapidly. The wind whipped spatters of rain through the tress. Rider and horse moved with an ever greater sense of urgency toward their destination for the night.

“According to the map it should be near here.”

A flash of lightening followed by an immense roar of thunder seemed to signal the start of the freezing downpour. The rain was so heavy it felt as if it instantly soaked through every layer of clothing. The gales of icy wind were at once numbing and painful.

Shortly after rider and horse exited the maze of trees into a meadow the mystery rider appeared behind them. It appeared they were both headed toward the same destination, a farmhouse across the meadow. The horses rushed through the pelting rain.

After leaving the horses in the barn the riders made their way to the tiny farmhouse. For a moment they stood in the dark entrance. So much water was coming off their clothing that it made audible sounds as it hit the wooden floors.

“We have to start a fire and find a blanket or we’re going to freeze to death, Hot Pants.”

“Alright, Diego.”


Diego removed his wet boots, helmet, and gloves before he began looking around. Eventually he stopped in front of the fireplace. There was very little kindling but plenty of firewood stacked beside the fireplace.

“It‘s going to take a while for the fire to get going.”

Diego’s voice didn’t hide his agitation as he worked to start the fire. Hot Pants took off his boots and helmet. He began to search the farmhouse as well. When he returned to the area near the fireplace Diego looked up at him.

“There is only this,” Hot Pants muttered holding up a single quilt.

Diego let out an exasperated sigh and started angrily taking off his wet clothes, laying the pieces over chairs to dry. Hot Pants continued to stand there holding the quilt, watching Diego. As he stripped out of his last piece of clothing he turned around, walked toward Hot Pants, and snatched the quilt from him. Diego wrapped himself in the quilt and sat down next to the fireplace.



“Take off all of your clothes and come here,” Diego smirked as he patted the floor next to him. The smile on his face seemed abnormally wide.


“...unless you want to freeze to death. Though I’d prefer you not do that since I need your body heat,” he said with a slightly more serious tone.

Hot Pants was still for a couple seconds and then began to remove his clothing. Diego didn’t bother averting his gaze as Hot Pants took off his leg warmers and then his scarf. His loud metal belt. His ornate blouse. At this moment an inexplicable pause occurred which caused Diego to focus his attention.

Hot Pants stood still for a couple seconds. He stared at the floor and then brought his eyes up to meet Diego’s. He was still wearing his loose striped bodysuit. It was soaked with rain and clinging tightly against his body. He turned away from Diego before continuing to undress.

Diego watched him curiously as he seemed to be removing his undergarments before completely taking off his bodysuit. As the bodysuit was flung over a chair Diego found himself feeling quite shocked. Hot Pants walked quickly across the room and knelt down next to Diego who sighed deeply as he wrapped the quilt around her.

“I’m going to ignore this for now,” Diego thought to himself.

“We need to get beneath the quilt and build up body heat until the fire gets bigger,” Diego said as he pulled the quilt over their heads and laid down. He reached his hand toward Hot Pants. “Come here.”

Hot Pants moved a bit closer to him.

“No, come here!” Diego said in an agitated voice as he pulled Hot Pants’s back against his chest. His arms stayed around her waist and shoulders. His hands were like ice and stung her skin.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m taking your body heat so I don’t freeze to death.”

“Oh. I suppose this is how that works.”

When they were finally still for a moment they noticed. They were shivering. Hot Pants pressed her hands against Diego’s forearms, kneading at them with her numb fingertips. Diego pulled her back tighter against his chest and pressed his legs against the backs of her legs. She could feel the warmth of his breath against the back of her neck just before something terribly icy pressed against it. Diego pushed his face against her back, warming his numb nose and cheeks before settling in.

For an unknown amount of time that felt both eternally long and yet over in an instant, they remained still like that in the world beneath the quilt, slowly becoming warm.

As time passed the pieces of his wet hair that had clung to her back dried and fell away. His icy hands now radiated warmth that spread through her body. All of the places where his body directly touched her body were markedly warmer. The entire underside of the quilt was filled with warm air.

“I always thought this was just used as a ploy in books to get two people naked together, but it actually works really well,” Hot Pants thought to herself.

She broke the quilt’s barrier to peer out at the fire which had grown significantly and was radiating plentiful heat into the room. The storm had yet to let up. The rain was beating down upon the windows and roof.


He did not respond. Hot Pants slowly rotated herself toward him. His hair had fallen over his face. Her hand reached to move it out of the way, hesitated, but then continued. The blonde curls spilled over her fingers as she moved them toward his ear. His soft sleeping face had an incredibly childlike appearance.

“This face is almost unimaginable for this person,” she thought as she realized she may be looking at something a bit precious.

She slowly tucked his hair behind his ear. A few pieces escaped and draped across his face. She carefully took each piece and placed them behind his ear as she watched him sleep. His hair was so very soft. The skin where she touched him was also soft.

“I don’t know what I was expecting him to feel like. Maybe a bag made of sandpaper filled with jagged rocks,” she thought.

After placing the final lock of hair behind his ear she let her fingertips run down the edge of his ear and then against his face. His eyelashes were so thick and long.

Diego, still seemingly asleep, took a sudden sharp inhale followed by a mumbling sound and the tightening of his arms that had been draped loosely around Hot Pants. Her face was pushed against the side of his neck and her waist was pulled flush with his waist. Her hands and arms squeezed uncomfortably between them until she wriggled them free and rested them against Diego’s back. Their legs pressed awkwardly against each other until becoming interlaced.

Her back had been toward him the entire time so she hadn’t noticed until just then. With her face against his neck and shoulder she could smell the scent of his skin. This scent wasn’t soap or cologne. It was so faint but amplified by the heat, this scent like a field of wild flowers and grass. She let her face fall lower into his chest where it grew slightly stronger and closed her eyes. Feeling almost intoxicated by the scent she began to speak quietly.

“I have never seen a man without his clothes on until today. I have never laid naked with another person like this. This is the most I have ever touched someone and the most someone has touched me. I feel incredibly guilty,” and then barely audible, “but I also don’t want this to stop.”

A few minutes passed after Hot Pants stopped speaking. The fire crackled heartily. The rain continued crashing down against everything. Diego slowly began to move his hands up her spine before letting his fingers run through her hair.

“How old are you?” he quietly asked.

“Twenty three.”

“Have you never even kissed someone?”

“You were awake? You heard me?” Hot Pants buried her face further into Diego’s chest. “No. I have never kissed someone.”

“What are you, a nun or something?”

“How did you know that!?”

“What? I was joking.”


“Why is a nun pretending to be a man in this race? Actually, forget I asked that for now.”

Diego’s hands slid from her hair and cupped her face as he gazed down into her eyes. His fingers moved gently beneath her chin and lifted her face closer to his. Very slowly he moved his face toward hers. He could see her lips begin to tremble. He let his mouth hover just above hers, watching.



“Please don’t tease me.”

“I don’t know if I should be especially mean to you or if I should be more accommodating than I normally would be so I don’t burn in hell. Though what can an eternity of damnation matter to someone who has felt, if only for a second, the infinity of delight?”

“Don’t be mean to me.”

Diego pressed his lips against her ear.

“I feel like you are making it extremely difficult not to,” he breathed into her ear before biting it.

Like an electrical shock the sensation of the bite hit her entire body at once. Hot Pants sat up so suddenly she pushed Diego up and under her. The quilt fell away from their bodies. The heat from the fire washed over their skin.

Diego leaned back on his hands and gazed up at Hot Pants. He chose not to move, watching her as she moved closer to him. She placed her hands on his chest as she moved her knees around the outside of his hips. She looked down into his bright clear eyes as she slid her fingertips along his collarbones. She began to carefully touch his hair and then his face before covering his eyes. With her hands over his eyes she slowly lowered her lips onto his. She could feel his eyelashes brush against her palms as his eyes closed.

He remained still as the soft, trembling kisses came to his lips again and again. Gradually the hands that covered his eyes slid down his face and into his hair. Now he began to return her kisses, wrapping his hands around her waist. As her lips parted he delicately slid his tongue inside her mouth, moving it over and under her tongue.

Hot Pants opened her eyes. She could see Diego’s eyes were closed as he kissed her. She closed her eyes and ran her tongue in soft circles around his as she held his face. His hands slid around her back and pulled her tightly against him before sliding up her sides.



“I can’t stay like this. My legs have become so weak.”

He looked up at her for a moment before ignoring what she said and kissing her neck. His fingers pressed into her ribs as he lowered his lips onto her chest, kissing the tops of her breasts.

“Diego? Please, I can’t keep kneeling like this. My legs feel like they are about to give out.”

He continued to ignore her as he softly sucked her nipples in and out of his mouth letting his fingers move further down her stomach. Hot Pants began to tremble. Goosebumps raised over her chest and legs as she felt his hand stroke the inside of her thigh.

“You’re trembling and your legs are shaking so much. I really like this kind of thing.”


Very suddenly his mouth was pressed against her ear.

“I really like it,” he breathed into her ear, “this kind of thing.”


His hand reached between her legs, his fingertips barely grazing her skin.

“Right now I don’t have to look at you to know your lips have begun to tremble. My saying this to you has made it much, much worse. I like that so much.”


“But you can’t cover your mouth because if either of your hands leaves my shoulders you’ll fall. Although I doubt the main reason you’d want to cover your mouth would be the trembling...”

As the last words left his mouth she could feel the side of his face curl up into a smile just before he very suddenly pushed his fingers inside her. As her mouth fell open no sound came out but as she inhaled a terrible sound accompanied it. Her fingers began to slip from Diego’s shoulders so she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

“I’m going to tell you how I will move my fingers inside you before I move them. This way you can imagine it first and deeply dread it or feel thrilled anticipating it,” he breathed against her ear. “No matter how you feel though, it’s going to happen. Now, think about how a scissors moves...”


“Open and and close...”


“Oh my, you should be careful. If you shake this much I won’t be able to continue to restrain myself.” He pressed his lips tightly against her ear, “I’m going to move them now.”

“Please don-“

Before she could get the words out he’d begun moving his fingers inside of her. Her entire body began to shake as she quickly realized he wasn’t just opening and closing his fingers but also rotating them and moving them slightly up and down as well. She bit her bottom lip in an attempt not to make any sounds but it was futile. Her mouth fell open as he pushed his fingers even deeper inside of her, so much so that his knuckles rubbed tightly against her.

Diego’s fingers moving in this manner was already quite overwhelming but every so often they began to rub against something unbelievably sensitive inside that shocked her.

“Please, that is too much! Please stop!”

It quickly became apparent that any of the following sentences would be utterly useless:

“I cannot bear it anymore, Diego.”
“It’s too much, Diego.”
“Please stop, Diego.”
“Please not there, Diego.”
“I’m begging you, Diego.”

“You really didn’t understand what I said, did you? But it seems you really like this place, don’t you?”

Before, when he had been randomly touching that spot, it was intense and overwhelming. Now that he began to touch it very purposefully...

“Please stop!”


“I can’t take anymore!”

“Take it...” he sighed into her ear before biting down on it.

As his teeth sunk into her ear the almost excruciating pleasure began to flood everywhere; her arms, her legs, up and down her spine. Spasms seized her insides followed by a rush of hot liquid that ran out over Diego’s hand. Her arms and legs finally gave out. Before she could drop to the floor he quickly caught her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Diego lowered her onto the quilt. “I’ve barely gotten to play with you at all...”

Hot Pants couldn’t decide if this was thrilling or terrifying and shivered.

“Hmmm? Are these for me? How nice.”

Diego began to lick the corners of Hot Pants’s eyes where small puddles of tears had collected from her squeezing her eyes shut so tightly. As he enthusiastically lapped the tears from her face Hot Pants believed she was starting to understand this person a little better.

“Ahhh,” Diego sighed as he climbed on top of her. “It’s really unfair of you to have all the fun though,” he said as he lowered his mouth beside her ear and let all of his body weight press down against her. “I wonder what I should do, but I also wonder if there should even be a question here because I already know what I want. I should just take it.”

Hot Pants’s eyes widened. She felt slightly panicked.

“Hmmm? I’m going to take an educated guess that you can barely move your body right now so I suppose, in a way, it can’t be helped,” he said as he rolled off to her side and rested his head on his hand.


“Oh! I’ve just thought of something incredibly considerate of your current state. It appears I am feeling immensely generous!” Diego exclaimed cheerfully.

Hot Pants felt an involuntary shiver run down her spine.

“Although I wonder, would you need some kind of explanation first?” he wondered aloud.

A very specific thought entered Hot Pants’s mind.

“I think I know what you have in mind.”

“Really?” Diego seemed overly interested. “How would you know about that?”

“A couple years ago one of the nuns who did room checks was sick so I went in her stead to do a scheduled search of the room of a particular younger sister. She had banned books. I confiscated them but I did not turn them all in to be destroyed. I kept most of them, especially the ones with illustrations. I read them and then I hid them. I read them almost every day or every other day after that. It is shocking that I was not caught.”

“What did you think when you read them?”

“I never once imagined people did such things before seeing those illustrations and reading those descriptions.”


“It really bothered me.”

“Did it keep you awake at night?”

“How do you know that?”

Diego smiled.

“It really bothered me,” Hot Pants said quietly as she turned her back to Diego. “I couldn’t stop thinking about those things after that. If I forced myself to stop thinking about those things during the day I couldn’t sleep at night. If I tried not to look at the books for a couple days I would think about them even more. I couldn’t confess since I was the one who confiscated the books and then kept them. I started to feel like I’d go mad so I started birching my shoulders and my back in the evenings when I’d think of such things. Though, in the end, I believe that only made it much worse.”

Hot Pants cautiously looked back at Diego. She didn’t know what to expect but a normal reaction would certainly be filled with disgust.

“Diego, your face.”

“Hmmm? Oh.” Diego touched his face as it reverted back to normal. “Sometimes I smile inappropriately much.”

“The sides of your mouth were touching your ears.”

His face changed again. As he smiled his upturned mouth stretched across his entire face. The corners of his mouth reached all the way to his ears and his skin seemed to begin to fracture into scales. His pupils narrowed into long slits as he moved his face close to hers.

“Are you afraid?”

“No. Actually, I...” Hot Pants trailed off.

Diego began to laugh almost hysterically. “Oh, you think I couldn’t possibly have heard that but I absolutely did.”


Diego climbed back on top of her and pressed down on her shoulders. He lowered his face very close to Hot Pants’s face. He stared down at her, the corners of his mouth curling even further up the sides of his face.

“I said, I heard what you said.”

“He couldn’t have-“

“‘He couldn’t have heard that,’ is what you’re thinking, but you are incorrect.”

Hot Pants tried to move away but couldn’t.

“‘Actually, I really like it, this face.’”

“Don’t repeat it out loud in a mocking voice!” she yelled as her ears began to turn red.

“Ahahahaha! You surprise me! Anyone else capable of seeing this would run away or reach for a weapon. I-I think I like you.”


“And,” Diego lowered his mouth beside Hot Pants’s ear, “imagine all of the terrible things I could do to you when I am like this.”

His tongue slid down her neck, her shoulder, and onto her chest even though his mouth never moved from her ear. Hot Pants shuddered and tried desperately not to imagine it. She immediately imagined at least five different scenarios though.

“Speaking of that, you still haven’t told me what you thought I had in mind,” Diego whispered.

“I can’t say that out loud!”

“Maybe you could say it under your breath.”

“I can’t do that either. I know you can hear me now.“

“I don’t like to assume things. Additionally, you seem to be quite smart but profoundly dense in certain regards.”

“Fine. I will say it but only if I can whisper it to you while my face is hidden from your sight,” she said rather reluctantly.

Diego lowered his head onto Hot Pants’s shoulder. She put her hands around her mouth and then next to Diego’s ear before beginning to whisper very quietly. Diego began to laugh a little but restrained himself.

“Yes, that is what I was thinking. That way we shall both have fun!”

Diego rolled back onto his side taking Hot Pants with him.

“It’s fine to stay like this on your side since you are a bit weak right now and, well,” he moved his mouth to her ear and whispered, “it would probably be a bit too much if I just climbed on top of you and started thrusting into your mouth.”

“You talk too much, Diego!” Diego laughed while Hot Pants began to feel as if her ears had actually ignited on fire. She turned around and pressed her face against Diego’s stomach. “You talk too much...”

“Well, I won’t be talking any longer,” Diego said as he pulled Hot Pants’s leg around his neck.




“Don’t let your teeth touch me. Otherwise, you can do whatever you like to me.”

“Do whatever I like?”

“Yes. But don’t hurt me. I don’t like that.”

“Why would I hurt you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe because you enjoy being hurt. I won’t like it though. It will make me very angry.”

“I like it?”

“You really don’t understand do you? Words wouldn’t be as effective as say, showing you so...”

As his words trailed off Diego’s face disappeared between Hot Pants‘s legs and he began lightly kissing the insides of each of her thighs. He lingered on one spot for a moment before suddenly biting her flesh hard enough to badly bruise it. Hot Pants began to wince and gasp as Diego began to gently kiss where he had bitten her. It throbbed so badly.

He pinched the bitten skin roughly between his fingers and said, “You don’t want to believe it but you like this kind of thing being done to you. That’s the result of whipping yourself every single night while feeling immense guilt for being painfully aroused.”


“How nice though, what a beautiful circle of feelings! I like it so much! Because I like this kind of thing very much. I enjoy doing this kind of thing to people who hate it but I especially love doing it to people who desperately want to hate it but deeply desire it.”

“You-you really talk too much!”

“This,” he began as he poked his finger at the bitten skin, “throbs really badly here, but this,” he said as he ran his fingertips between her legs, “makes it throb really badly here for you.”

Goosebumps began to raise over Hot Pants’s legs as Diego pulled them tighter around his shoulders. She tried to compose herself by taking a slow, deep breath only to have the air unexpectedly enter her lungs suddenly and sharply. Diego had begun running his tongue back and forth over a place that was even more sensitive than the other place. It ached and throbbed wildly in response to his movements.

She closed her eyes and pressed her face against his stomach attempting to collect herself even though it was useless. She desperately tried to remember the illustrations in the books before lowering her face between Diego’s legs. Her mind was completely blank. It was impossible to concentrate with Diego licking and sucking that extremely sensitive place. A moment later he made an addition of very slowly pushing his fingers in and out of her. As she gasped and moaned against his stomach she realized it would only become harder to think as this went on.

“No, I remember. I remember because I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a long time,” she thought to herself before gradually sliding further down his body.

She cautiously slid her fingers around him. It was so much warmer than the rest of him. The skin was especially soft and flushed. She curiosity ran her fingertips over the raised veins. They seemed to be visibly pulsating. She began to run her tongue around his head, delicately rubbing the tip of her tongue into the opening. Diego seemed to pause what he was doing for a moment before continuing.

She began to suck the tip of him in and out of her mouth while very gently running her fingers up and down, moving lower each time until he began to press against her throat. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his hips pulling him deeper in. She didn’t move for a moment, feeling the growing warmth and throbbing spreading through her mouth.

She suddenly felt Diego’s hand against the back of her head.

“I think, I am finally losing some of my composure,” he said before doing something incomprehensible.

At first it seemed he’d begun to slide his tongue inside of her. Her legs squeezed against the sides of his head as his tongue continued to go deeper and deeper. It began to fill her and writhe around inside of her. As the thought that his tongue was inhumanly long, thick, and agile she quickly realized he’d partially transformed himself. Before she could even gasp Diego gripped the back of her head and began thrusting into her mouth.

Although it was impossible to think images from the strange and perverse books flashed through Hot Pants’s mind. She had no concept of preferences, likes, or dislikes. She took what she saw in those books as clean cut facts more than anything else. These were the things all humans outside the clergy did for pleasure.

As Diego continued to thrust in and out of her mouth with ever increasing aggressiveness while managing similar actions with his inhuman tongue Hot Pants began to pull his legs until they were over her shoulders. She let her hands move around the tops of his thighs, feeling the soft, fine downy blonde hairs that covered his smooth warm skin. She slid her hands over the insides of his thighs before letting her fingers move between them. Slowly and blindly she moved her fingers back in a straight line until she could feel it.

Quite abruptly all of Diego’s movements began to slow down. Hot Pants let her fingertips lightly orbit this small opening. She felt a bit excited feeling it move in response to her touches.

Diego had a single thought in this moment followed quickly by another single thought: “This is the kind of thing that only happens in banned books,” and “Oh.” He couldn’t tell whether he was excited or nervous. The fact that he couldn’t tell made him excited though.

As Diego’s pacing became more leisurely she began to feel every slight movement of his tongue. It seemed to be seeking out sensitive places inside of her. When she’d flinch or shudder in response to it’s movements it would linger in that place. It would press and rub against that spot as the tip curled. He also seemed to almost be playing a game of how deeply he could reach it inside and how slowly could he pull it back out while writhing it around before plunging it back inside of her all at once.

“I can feel that inside of you, you know. I’m so terribly, terribly tempted to break it right now only I’ve decided I will be doing that with a different part of my body.”

Hot Pants was too delirious to understand anything Diego said at that moment. His being tempted to break something was of slight concern but it quickly faded away like every other thought.

She tightened her lips around him and decided to try something she saw in one of the books. She started to rather dangerously flirt with choking, taking him too far back into her throat and letting it squeeze and spasm around him before pulling away just before it was too late. As her throat started to close around him she pressed just a little bit of her finger inside him. It felt so very warm and soft inside of him.

Diego stopped what he was doing and pressed his face against the inside of one of her thighs.

“Oh, what are you doing to me?” he whispered as he started to breathe heavily against her leg.

Tears had begun to stream down Hot Pants’s face from desperately trying not to fully choke. She could concentrate a bit more now that Diego was temporarily distracted. The sounds of his soft moans against her leg were irresistible so she continued despite it growing more and more impossible not to truly choke.

As her throat closed around him again she pushed her finger the rest of the way inside of him and began to rub her fingertip against his soft, warm insides. As she rubbed her finger around and in and out it slid over a little bump. She could feel Diego flinch and then gasp quite loudly. “Is this like the thing he was touching inside of me?” she wondered before she carefully touched it again and then again before beginning to exclusively stroke it. His reactions to her touches distracted her a bit from feeling as if she’d choke.

Diego looked down at her and touched the side of her face as he continued to sigh.

“Ah, and your face is covered in tears from the strain, I like it so much. I don’t think I can bear it much longer if you keep doing that.”

Hot Pants could feel him growing more and more inside her mouth. He was throbbing so much she almost could feel the vibrations pulsing through her skin. She began to feel her finger being squeezed over and over.

“Mmmmm, because you made me feel so good I’ll tell you first so you can imagine it. In a moment I’m going to grab your head very tightly with both of my hands and force myself as deeply as possible into your throat and then I’m going to come down your throat. You should probably brace yourself.”

Before she could process anything he said and/or brace herself he suddenly grabbed her head and pushed himself way too far down into her throat. Tears gushed out of her eyes as she began to plead with him by first tapping on his side and then scratching and hitting him. She could feel him shake slightly before hot liquid began flooding down her throat.

Diego had let his head fall back as he sighed and paid absolutely no mind to the tapping, scratching, or hitting. When he was done he let her go. Hot Pants fell against the floor gasping. As she gasped for air he climbed on top of her and began to lick the tears from her face.

“Mmmmm, there’s so much, mmm, mmmmm, let me have all of it.”

After all the tears were licked from her face he lowered his head next to hers.

“Ah, I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell if I should be especially cruel to you or more accommodating than I normally would be.”

“You should be especially cruel,” Hot Pants whispered.

“Why do you say that? This is normally where you would beg and plead for my kindness before I do whatever I want to you.”

“I thought it was what I deserved for being a horrible person but now I realize, that’s not quite right. I truly and deeply desire you to be incredibly cruel to me like this. I want you to make me scream and cry while I beg you to stop. Only I don’t want you to listen to me and I don’t want you to stop. I’m truly a disgusting person, aren’t I?”

“I really like that. I really like you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I said,” Diego stared down at her, “I like you. I don’t know what to do about it. Should I kill you? Or should I be nice to you?”

Hot Pants was profoundly confused. She didn’t understand. “What is happening right now? Why would he say these things? Also, these things were not meant to be said together!” she thought to herself.

“Hot Pants.”


“Why are you being so rude to me?”


“Or could it be, you are severely dense in this regard?”

“I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

“I said that I liked you and you said nothing in return.”

“You were wondering aloud if you should kill me or be nice to me!”

“Ah. I said that out loud.”


“Still! Regardless of that, when a person expresses such feelings the other person should let that person know how they feel about them in return.”

“Is that how that works? Wait, you would really try to kill me?”

“That is beside the point here!”

“I think that might be the main point here.”

“So, what you are saying is, you don’t like me. Hmpf. Fine.”

“What? I never said that! When did I say that?”

“Stop being so rude to me!”


“You don’t like me. Fine. It’s settled. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you’re any different from anyone else in that regard.”

“Please, please shut up! Please, I can’t think...”


“I don’t understand. You are incredibly popular. You have so many fans-“

“They just like my face and my money. They have no idea who I am. If I was ugly and poor they’d have nothing to do with me. They are all extremely disgusting people. Every last one of them.”

“Why do you think you like me? I’m a disgusting person too. I’ve done truly horrible things.”

“I don’t really care about the horrible things you’ve done. I still like you.”

“I killed my little brother.”

“I’m surprised. But I still like you.”

Hot Pants’s face began to turn red. “I don’t understand.”

“I like you.”

“I hate myself deeply. It is difficult for me to understand.”

“I like you. How can you not understand such simple words?”

“I understand what you are saying. Only as it is directed at me it becomes incomprehensible.”


“I know! My response to you will be to tell you what I like about you.”

“Fine,” Diego said as he lowered his head against Hot Pants’s shoulder.

“I will try to tell you in the order in which I discovered them. When we were first under the quilt everywhere you were touching me became so warm. When I turned toward you and touched your hair it was very soft. It made me want to keep touching it. Your skin felt very soft too. Before I touched you I imagined you’d feel like a bag of sandpaper filled with jagged rocks.”

“What? Why on earth would you think such a thing?”

“I don’t know. I’d never really touched a man before and you have a very angular body. I imagined it would be rough and jagged. Only you are quite similar to me, but bigger and more muscular. Oh, I also really liked your sleeping face. You truly looked like a small innocent child. I was very taken aback but I also couldn’t stop watching you sleep.”


“When you pulled my face against your neck for the first time... This might be one of the things I like most. Your skin smells like a warm field filled with wild flowers and grass. It’s so faint but as you become warmer it grows more noticeable. When I lowered my face against your chest to smell it more I became lightheaded but I really didn’t want to move away. It was almost as if the longer I stayed there the further I fell under your spell.”


“I like how blunt you are. You don’t really mince your words. I like that kind of honesty. Although I don’t really want to admit this as it’s almost painfully embarrassing, I really liked the way you touched me. It’s like you can tell what I hope you will do. I don’t really understand how you know. I like that you seem to know things about me that I have yet to realize myself. I also-“

“Ok you can stop.”

Hot Pants sat up pushing Diego up with her. “But I’m not done-“

“Don’t look at me! Don’t look at me. I can’t tell what my face is doing,” Diego said as he covered his face with his hands.

“Did I say something wrong?”


“Then why?”

“Why do you make me repeat myself? I said don’t look at me because I can’t tell what my face is doing!”

“But I want to see it!”


“Because I think this face will be even better than your sleeping face and your scary face, both of which I really like.”

“Fine.” Diego lowered his hands. “Is it better than my sleeping face and my scary face?”

Hot Pants was truly astonished.

“Yes. It is probably the best face.”

“I don’t want to show it to you anymore.”

Hot Pants covered Diego with the quilt.

“You can hide it forever now that I’ve seen it.”

“I don’t like this.”

“I’m very sorry.”