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First Family shit

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A lot of things happened to Leo that were strange.

First he found that the strict social construct he has been raised in had now value at all and he could like and love whatever and whoever he wanted. Then he found out that his kindergarten crush – although at the time he didn't know he was that – hadn't moved to another country with his whole family, but was instead imprisoned in a ghetto by the government. Subsequently he joined the rebellion, which was led by his former best friend now turned into the hero of the people. They overthrew the government, killed the President of the United States, and his best friend took his place. After that, he got to keep his girlfriend and gained two partners more, eventually becoming – with the added presence of the President himself – the first White House Spokesperson having a polyamory relationship with four people.

But none of these things are weirder than Cody's tantrum right now.

Despite the way he looks, Cody is not usually the prissy type. He lived most of his life in the ghetto, the hardest place you could possibly grow up in, where guards made a great effort to find always new excuses to beat him up every other day. He never complains about anything – if he doesn't like something, he either deals with it or he changes it – and he's a very practical person who, having being denied everything he wanted all his life, now does exactly whatever he wants whenever he wants to.

The first thing he did when the war was over and he was definitely free to leave the ghetto was to dye a few locks of his hair bright pink. Then, blue, green, purple, and eventually bright pink again. He bought all the girl clothes he couldn't buy before. Then he decided to wear only male clothes for a month. He mastered high heels and make-up. He spent a whole week looking like a deer, with his nose painted black and long fake eyelashes. He declared he was never gonna sew one single piece of clothing for himself after a lifetime of skirts made out of scraps, and when he realized no shop in town shared his vision, he started sewing again. He went clubbing and danced on the tables. He drunk too much so he could say that for the first time in his life he had puked only because he was having fun. During the first big party they threw after the victory he made out with everybody and dared Leo to get angry because of it. He was free and he wanted kisses and nobody was going to stop him from taking them wherever he could.

After all that, it's hard to believe he's now whining and stomping his feet on the ground as he discards all his clothes like a five years old. “Sweets, what's wrong?” Leo asks, gingerly peeking inside the room.

“What's wrong is that you're always around but you're never useful,” Cody barks at him, throwing a skirt that lands on top of a pile of other skirts on the bed. “What seems to be wrong in your opinion?”

A lot of things, but Leo doesn't say that because Cody seems ready to kill him and he doesn't want to die. “Did you lose something in your wardrobe?” He says, tentatively.

“There is nothing in my wardrobe! That's what the problem is!” Cody screams, throwing a few more pieces of clothing on the floor. “I have literally nothing to wear!”

That's really hard to believe since they are literally surrounded by any piece of clothing ever created by human mind. It's really incredible how many clothes Cody managed to accumulate in such a short time. They had to give him a whole other room so that he could make a walk in closet out if it. “Baby, I don't think that's—“

“Don't you dare!” Cody screams, his voice turning into a screech. “Don't you dare say it. What do you know? If it was for you, you'd wear the same hoodie at all your official events!”

At that point, something finally clicks inside Leo's head because he can be slow, but he gets there. “Are you looking for something to wear at the dinner party next week?”

“Of course I am, genius!” Cody replies, even angrier than before if that's possible. “And don't even think of saying that whatever I'll be wearing is going to be okay because I swear to God I'm gonna cut your balls off!”

Whatever is going on with Cody keeps happening the day after and the day after that. He storms out of the house at the most random hours to buy clothes and then he throws them away because they don't fit perfectly or they're too black, too white, too shiny or too dull. Or they make him look too slutty – which has never ever been a problem before.

When he starts saying that even his face is not okay, which is preposterous to say the least since he literally looks like a porcelain doll, Leo knows that he has to do something. He could try and fix the situation himself, but he's not very good at talking sense into people because he has very little sense himself. And, besides, Cody has made very clear that he doesn't want to have him around. So, despite hating the thought, he goes directly to the only man who could make this stop.

The White House is very guarded, as one can imagine, and there's a very strict procedure to go through before you can even get properly inside. Adam plans on easing it in the future – because he wants to be the President of the people, or some other BS like that – but right now there's still some dissent around and Casey, his head of security, doesn't want to take any risk.

Leo, however, doesn't have to wait and go through security as his face allows him to skip the line. Or at least that would be the case if Casey weren't personally guarding one of the side doors to check every member of the staff trying to get in. “What are you doing here?” He asks, without looking at him. He's always looking towards the horizon as if he was expecting an enemy attack.

“What are you doing here? You are the head of security. Aren't you supposed to be in your nice office, planning security measures instead of playing the doorman?”

“You haven't answered my question.”

“I need to see Adam.”

“The President is really busy at the moment,” Casey goes on checking the setting sun for major threats. “Besides, you couldn't be admitted inside anyway. You'd need to pass the metal detectors first.”

“Why? I'm the White House spokesperson, I'm literally the voice of this place,” Leo protests.

“So what?” Casey shrugs, the dying light making his face even sharper. It's incredible how different he can look from his twin – except when he doesn't and Leo kisses him, mistaking him for Cody. “Everybody knows you hate him because he stole your boyfriend. I wouldn't put it past you to want to kill him for that.”

Leo frowns. “First of all, he didn't steal my boyfriend—don't make that face, he didn't. Secondly, he's my best friend and I would never kill him.”

Casey skeptically raises a brow. “You could have fooled me.”

“Listen, just let me through. It's important, it's about Cody.”

That finally gets his attention, of course, because only two are the arguments that really get an honest reaction from Casey: protecting Adam (and how good he is at that) and his twin brother. “What happened to Cody?”

Leo sighs. “Nothing, but he's upset and I need to speak with Adam.”

“What did you do to him?”

“Nothing! It's not my fault this time. In fact, if anything, it's Adam's!” Leo protests, indignantly. “Can I please get inside, now?”

“If Cody needs help, then I can take care of it,” Casey points out. “I'm his brother.”

“I don't think he needs his brother this time. Actually, I don't think he ever needs you,” Leo says, finally expressing what he has been thinking for a while now. Maybe he can like Casey as a security guard, but he definitely doesn't like him as a person, and especially as Cody's twin. Casey is too touchy with his brother and Leo finds it upsetting and inappropriate, not to mention the fact that the Cody didn't know about Casey up to a year ago. “He needs one of his boyfriends and since he shouted at me, then it must be Adam. Can I go now?”

Casey seems to think about it, but then his signature frown turns into a grin. “You're a failure,” he comments, moving aside. “Please, come in. It's going to be a pleasure to watch you as you go begging your rival to fix whatever problem your boyfriend has.”

Leo decides to be the bigger man, and so he just walks inside flipping Casey off. There goes all his diplomacy for the day. There's only so much he can take, and apparently Casey mocking him is it. Not a very promising result, considering that he should be having important political discussions in the near future.
Anyway, everything can wait. Now the most important thing is to get hold of a solution for the current situation because Cody screaming at him and throwing tantrums is not a life Leo wants to live.

He finds Adam in his office, which is always open – unless he's in a meeting – because people should always feel free to come to me. And Leo feels very much so. “We need to talk,” he says, entering.

Adam looks up from the documents he's reading and then he walks towards him, kissing him on the lips. “You came to see me all on your own volition! Ah, I thought I'd never seen the day.”

“Stop that immediately! I will not be distracted by your insanely good casual kissing,” Leo says, more to himself than Adam to be honest. Every time that he wants to have a conversation with him, Adam always kisses him, which makes him all wobbly and dizzy. “This is important.”

Adam chuckles and leans against his desk. “Alright, what happened?”

“It's about Cody. He's, like, super nervous for that dinner party you invited him to,” Leo says right away. “He went out of his mind. He screams at me all the time—“

“How is that any different from any other day?”

“He doesn't want me to touch him—“

“Okay, this is weird,” Adam admits.

“And he bought all these clothes and he didn't like any of them. He's been impossible and I don't know what to do anymore,” Leo finally says. “I think you need to talk to him. He listens to you.”

Adam sighs. “He listens to you too, Leo.”

“Yes, no, sure, I know that,” Leo gestures vaguely. He usually needs that kind of reassurance, but not now. He knows perfectly well that there's no problem with him. “I mean that you're the one who's good at these things, like, at calming him down when he's so upset. Actually, you've probably already seen him like this and you know what to do.”

Adam looks at him with wide eyes. “Let me get this straight. You noticed that Cody was very upset about something, you assessed the situation, realized you couldn't do anything about it and you came to me for help without throwing a tantrum? I'm impressed.”

“Adam, fuck you.”

“No! No! I mean it. It was a very mature thing to do,” Adam insists. And his smile is full of affection and Leo feels all warm inside and he wants to earn more of those smiles. Damn, he's good! “I'm very proud of you.”

“Thanks... I guess,” Leo mumbles.

“But are you sure Cody is so nervous because of the dinner party? How do you know?”

“Because I suggested that was the reason why and he said, Of course it is, genius!. He was exceptionally mean and he didn't go into the whole you-don't-know-because-you-were-privileged stuff. He was mean in a no self-entitled way. It was horrible.”

Adam chuckles, seeing him so crestfallen. “Alright, I see. It's just, honestly I thought he wanted to come.”

“No, what he wanted was to go out with you,” Leo corrects him. “But being officially the First Lady wasn't in the plans. It's scary, man!”

“I don't think he can be called First Lady,” Adam says, pensively. “In fact, I think we should think of another term to indicate the President's companion if they're not binary.”

“Adam, focus. Please.”

Adam waves his hands in front of himself. “You're right, you're right. I'm passing by the house tonight and have a chat with him, okay?”

Leo nods and thinks that it's nice to have the President of the United States at their back and call. Maybe he is privileged after all, but so is Cody.


That night Adam shows up after dinner, while Blaine is still tidying up the kitchen and Meredith and Leo have already installed themselves in front of the TV to watch a new episode of Hardcore Cheerleaders, their latest obsession.

“Hi, everybody.”

Leo turns to look at him while on screen Jenny V. undergoes a gruesome training to perform a Liberty Stunt at the top of a very tall pyramid. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

Adam is so used to Leo's banters that he just smiles peacefully. “Where's Cody?”

“Cooped up in his room. He came out for dinner, demanded a salad, then proceeded to eat only two leaves and say it was too much because he was fat. Then he went back to his room slamming the door and when I tried to lure him out with some grapes saying that he must be hungry, he screamed at me that I was mean because then I was saying that he really was a glutton and fat. He opened the door just to throw his brushes at me and then locked himself in again,” Leo says, showing him the bandage on his forehead.

“I see, so I'll need an helmet.”

“I would suggest that, yes.”

But of course Adam doesn't need an helmet or a shield because the moment he announces himself, the door is magically unlocked for him and he's admitted in. Leo would be very jealous if he wasn't counting so much on Adam solving the problem. He really can't deal with Cody-from-hell.

He and Meredith wait for approximately two seconds before gluing themselves to Cody's door. They expect a lot of screaming and throwing things, at the very least some lustful moaning, but they hear nothing on the sort, just an unintelligible murmuring that goes on for the good part of an hour.

“It doesn't seem they're arguing,” Meredith comments at some point.”

“And they're definitely not having sex because Cody screams so much more when he's riding him,” Leo adds.

“Too much information, kid.” Blaine makes a face. He joined them on the floor with a bag of vegan, fat-free chips only because he's a sucker for drama, not to know the details of his only son's very active sex-life.

“So what are they doing?”

“We were talking,” Adam himself answers, opening the door. He doesn't seem surprised to find them all sitting in a semi-circle on the floor in front of the door. “But I know you're not used to that.”

Leo opens his mouth to reply – something about that Adam talks so much because his dick doesn't work – but Cody throwing himself in his arms at full speed prevents him from doing just that. He welcomes that little vanilla-smelling ball that is his boyfriend in his arms and lets himself be kissed stupid for a while.

“I guess everything is okay?” Blaine asks as he watches how only Meredith pulling Leo by his shirt prevents him from lying Cody on the floor and take the making out session to a whole different level.

“Cody told me he feels uncomfortable at coming with me to the dinner party in an official capacity,” Adam explains. “It was my fault for not considering that he might feel like that. It's an important event, all eyes will be on us and not all of them will be nice. It's a strained situation he should not put in if he doesn't feel like it.”

“That's very thoughtful of you,” Blaine nods.

“But I still can't go alone,” Adam say with a sigh as he sits down on the floor with them. “The event is family-related, it should be awkward if I didn't involved mine in some capacity. It wouldn't look good, as they used to say. Now, you know I don't care for what other people think, but I do care about our family here. So I found a solution.”

“If you make this introduction any longer, it'll be dawn soon,” Leo snorts as Cody takes place in his lap.

“My solution,” Adam chuckles, “is that you all come. So you can share the burden of my plus one and you can show the world your faces officially. And Leo, you can help me during my speech as you're already used to do that by now.”

“Wait a minute—“

“You're gonna be a perfect First Gentleman, I'm sure.”

Leo looks at him in shock. How a big disaster such Cody throwing a tantrum, making his life impossible and breaking all his hopes of having his sweet sassy boyfriend back turned into this even bigger catastrophe he doesn't know. “What if I don't want to do it?”

Adam raises a brow. “You're my spokesperson, do you really not want to speak?”

Leo sighs. “Fine, but only because you dragged me into your freaking First Family shit,” he mutters.

And as they all laugh, he takes a mental note of all of that: the laughter, the warm feeling of being all together and well, and that sentence – First Family shit – which will be his opening at the dinner party for sure.

If anything, it's gonna be interesting.