Work Header

Loose Lips Sail Ships

Work Text:

Unsurprisingly, when the alcohol came out, everyone in the room inevitably got a little rowdier.

At least, that’s the thought that flew fleetingly through Marinette’s mind as she subtly gulped and took another sip of the wine she was carrying.

Alya’s eyes zeroed in on her with nerve-wrecking intensity.  The redhead leaned forward, slip of paper with Marinette’s name still in hand, causing the noirette to subconsciously lean back in her position seated on her bedroom floor until the bottom edge of her chaise was digging into her spine.

“So, Marinette,” she said with entirely too much satisfaction, "you get to choose.  Dare, or play Marry, Fuck, Kill.”

The girl in the spotlight narrowed her eyes resentfully at her best friend, choosing to ignore the snickers coming from the others who were present.  Alix didn’t even try to hide her grin, Kim was making crude jokes in the background, and Max was calculating the likelihood of Marinette choosing one or the other.  Only Nino was giving her a look of sympathy from his place at her traitorous friend’s side.

Marinette blew a raspberry, tossing her bangs out from the front of her face.

“Fine,” she finally, begrudgingly, grunted.  “Marry, Fuck, Kill.”

Then the trapdoor in her floor lifted up, and a familiar blond head of hair emerged into the room.

“Hello, everyone,” Felix said in his usual formal tone, school bag hanging securely from one shoulder.  “What did I miss?”

A wide, predatory grin split Alya’s face in two.

“Well, hello there, Felix,” she said, unblinking eyes fixed on Marinette’s face, which was quickly turning new shades of red.  “You’re right in time. Marinette was just going to play-”

“Alya, no.




“-Don’t. ”


There was a moment of relative silence as Felix stood there and Marinette glared at her friends.  The blond began to blush, causing Alix and Kim to laugh. 

“I...” Long fingers clutches a little tighter on the shoulder strap. “...thought we were going to study.”

At this, Nino finally stood up and slapped a hand on his bewildered friend’s arm. 

“Well, my friend.  You’re one of us now. Time to induct you into our group of misfits.”

Felix looked around at the people gathered, swallowing nervously, and slowly lowered himself to sit cross-legged on the floor.  Marinette avoided his eyes and tried not to think about how his knee was very close to brushing against hers. Instead, she took another sip from her glass. 

“Now,” Alya’s voice broke through as Nino obligingly handed Felix a glass of wine, which he took reluctantly. “Marinette. Don’t think we’ve forgotten about you.”

“Yea woo!” Alix hollered as Kim made gorilla noises and beat his chest.   Max rolled his eyes and drank some of his own wine. 

“Sooo,” the redhead drawled dramatically, tapping one finger to her chin and looking up thoughtfully, “just who should we pick?”

Marinette, who knew exactly what she was going to do next, only narrowed her eyes more. 

“Ah, I know!” Alya declared excitedly. The finger that had been tapping on her chin was suddenly pointed straight up in the air. “You’re choices, my dear Marinette, are Ladybug-”

“No surprises there.”

“-Chat Noir-”

“Real original.”

“-and Felix.”

Marinette resisted the urge to growl at her best friend and pointedly didn’t look in the newly-arrived boy’s direction.

“Really, Alya?” she asked, voice tight but even. 

Alya smiled dangerously. 


The raven-haired girl exhaled roughly but, seeing no help for it, made a quick decision in her head. 

“All right,” she conceded, “I’d ma-”

“Ah, ah, ah!” the other girl tutted in reprimand. “I wasn’t done yet.”

Marinette looked at her friend in confused silence. 

“Allow me to explain,” Alya went on with a theatrical flourish of the hand.  “There is another component to your task. In addition to choosing who you would marry, fuck, and kill, I will write down on a piece of paper my predictions of your choices, and if I’m right, you must follow through with a dare of my choosing.”

“But... that’s not fair!” she complained. “You said to choose between this or a dare. Now I have to do both?”

“Only if you lose~” Alya reminded her, smug look of satisfaction plastered across her face. “Remember, babe, you’re in the Hunger Games, and I am the game maker. You play by my rules.”

“Yea, well, don’t forget you died at the end,” she muttered in response. 

Alix snickered in the background as Kim laughed uncontrollably and Max began calculating the likelihood of each option. 

Marinette’s face burned as she reconsidered her original answer. Was it too predictable?  If Alya guessed them all correct, what would she force her to do?

The noirette chanced a look sideways at the solemn boy beside her.  Involuntarily, her heart began to race. He was looking down at his lap in seeming ambivalence, wine set on the floor about an arm’s length away, but she could see the slight red tinge to his ears and knew he had to be feeling almost as embarrassed as she was. 

Well, then. There was only one choice to make. 

“All right.”  Marinette looked back at the people sitting across from her. “I’m ready.”

Alya waved a folded piece of paper in hand. 

“All right, then. All bets taken?”  

Kim finished writing a few things down on a piece of paper. 

“Yep. Max, did you calculate the odds?”

“Affirmative,” the brainiac responded, pushing his glasses up on his nose. “Let us proceed.”

Alya looked back at Marinette and smiled, waiting. 

“Moment of truth. In a choice between Ladybug, Chat Noir, and Felix Agreste-” said boy swallowed beside her “-who would you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, marry, fuck, and kill?”

All eyes were on her. Marinette took a breath and exhaled. 

“I would marry Ladybug-”

“Aw, damn, that’d be so hot!” Kim gushed. 

“-kill… Felix, and fuck Chat Noir.”

“Wha??” a surprised Alix, Kim, and Max exclaimed in unison.  Alya sat back like the queen of Egypt, smiling. 

Marinette glanced quickly at Felix again, noticing that he appeared quite flustered. His eyes were wide, his ears bright red, and he was looking down at his lap, where his book bag was resting. 

“Sorry,” she managed to whisper to him momentarily before Alya cleared her throat. 

“All right, all right. Everyone, order.  It’s time for the judgment.”  

The three stooges silenced immediately, and Alya passed her paper to Nino, who opened and read it, then closed it again. 

“In the case of Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I hereby do find that thou... has passed.  Bookie, please collect and dispense the bets.”

Money exchanged hands between the three of them, along with some grumbling and a little taunting.  Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. 

Off to the side, Felix overall had returned to his usual color, but still had not raised his head.

“Felix, can I talk to you for a minute?” she asked him as conspicuously as possible while the others went about their business.

He nodded, then slowly rose to stand, bag still in his grip.

“Oi!” Alya called, “wait!  You have to pick the next victim."

Marinette sighed impatiently.

“Fine.  Alya, you’re up.  Alix, take her down.”

The pink-haired girl grinned evilly and rubbed her hands together.

“It’d be my pleasure~” she sneered gleefully as Marinette and Felix disappeared through the trap door leading to the roof.

Marinette walked over to the railing, leaning on it with her elbows, and looked out at the view.  She didn’t want Felix to feel too uncomfortable, and she knew how much he valued his space, so she intended to let him approach her when he felt like it.  After a few moments, quiet steps sounded behind her, and his blond locks appeared in her peripheral, followed by his profile and typical neutral-toned clothing.

“I’m sorry if Alya made you uncomfortable,” she began, still not looking his way out of consideration of his comfort.  “To be honest, they’re just trying to get you to feel more like a part of the group, but Alya does get carried away sometimes.  I’ll talk to her later, if you want.”

“No, it’s fine.”

They were the first words he had spoken almost since he arrived, and Marinette felt surprised.  Cautiously, she turned to look at him, only to find he was already looking at her. The intensity of his green eyes was a bit much for her, though, so she turned back to face the city.

“I only said I’d kill you so they wouldn’t tease you later,” she suddenly blurted.  “I mean… I didn’t mean that literally. I wouldn’t kill you, not even for a stupid game.”

“It’s ok.  You also said you’d fuck me, so I guess it evens out.”

Marinette’s jaw rather inelegantly fell open, and she immediately started choking on nothing more than air.

“I, hurr, what?”

She couldn’t resist, so she looked at Felix’s face.  He was smiling, chartreuse eyes shining, with long wisps of stubborn golden hair falling across his forehead.

“Not to mention, you’re going to marry yourself?  That’s quite a feat, my lady. I didn’t realize you had such… interesting preferences.”

Shock was replaced by irritation, and her mouth slammed shut, bluebell eyes narrowing as she took in the boy across from her.

“You know, I’m beginning to regret this whole accidental reveal thing.  It’s only been a week, and you’re already getting quite chatty.”

Felix’s smile split into a cat-like grin.

“Hey, you’re the one who wants to fuck me, so-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Marinette reached up and grabbed him by the tie, then pulled him down until their lips crashed together.  When she pulled away, it was suddenly Felix’s eyes that were wide, and his jaw that was hanging open as Marinette smirked back at him.

“Wanna find out?”