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Two Little Miracles

Summary:

After one of the many times Dean and Sam die, God decides he’s done bringing them back to life. He gives them an ultimatum - they can die and go to heaven, or they can come back to life as an angel.

Together, the brothers choose to be nestlings, and Castiel and Gabriel are more than happy to help.

Let’s just say it’s quite an adjustment

** This fic is inspired by the absolutely WONDERFUL fic by SailorChibi called Hatchling

Chapter Text

Dean and Sam Winchester gasp awake in the center of a large white room, the blinding lights making them squint as they try to look around. Their heads are pounding, their bodies ache, and their ears are ringing incessantly. 

 

"Hello?" Dean croaks, his voice raw. He swears he was just yelling a minute ago. Loudly. They had been fighting a pack of werewolves. 

 

Where are the werewolves?

 

Why is it so damn quiet? 

 

What the hell is that ringing?

 

"Dean!" Sam calls from his left. "What's going on?"

 

"No idea..." 

 

Dean forces his eyes open long enough to make out three blurry figures nearby. He reaches for his silver knife, but it's gone. All his weapons are. Even his salt and holy water. 

 

Not. Good. 

 

"The Winchester brothers," a deep voice booms, filling the air around them. "I've been waiting for this day."

 

"Can't say the same," Dean growls. He stumbles to his feet, shifting so Sam is safely behind him. "Who the hell are you?"

 

"I’d appreciate it if you kept that language to a minimum,” the voice says in a near growl. “You're in heaven, Dean. Who do you think I might be?"

 

Dean's heart begins to race. Heaven? Does that mean… "We're dead."

 

"Yes, Dean. As always, your souls were sent to me here."

 

"No. I - no. I've never been here before."

 

"That you remember," the mysterious being corrects. 

 

Panic bubbles in Dean's chest. The room spins and heat licks at his body. 

 

"Shhh, Dean. You're okay," he hears a familiar voice say softly. He looks over to see one of the three figures walking toward him. 

 

Dean's knees buckle in relief. "Cas?"

 

"Yes, Dean. I'm here. I've always been here when your soul comes."

 

Getting frustrated, Sam finally speaks up. "What is going on here? What's happening?"

 

"It's simple," the mystery being says. "I have saved you boys countless times. You've proven yourselves. The amount of strength, courage, and morality in you two is uncanny. I believe you're ready."

 

"Ready?" Dean asks. 

 

"Yes, Dean." Castiel cups his cheek. Usually Dean would bark at him about personal space, but right now he needs that touch so damn much that he finds himself leaning into it. "You and Sam have been chosen."

 

"Chosen?" Sam repeats in a trembling voice.

 

The third figure steps forward. Gabriel gives Sam a warm smile and reaches a hand out, pulling him into a hug. "God is willing to let you become angels." 

 

Both brothers tense, but they don't pull away from their respective guardian. In fact, they lean further into them. 

 

The mystery being - or, well, apparently God- speaks again. "You have a choice. I can put your souls to peace for eternity in your own heavens, as all other human souls are handled. Or you can become nestlings, and one day become my newest and strongest angels in heaven."

 

Before the brothers can speak, Castiel is adding his own words, "You'll be safe if you choose to be nestlings. Gabriel and I will take you to a safe location, and together we will care for you."

 

"Is it - does it hurt?" Sam asks, his voice suddenly tiny and afraid. 

 

"No," Gabriel assures, stroking Sam's hair. "It's slow, and sometimes you may get certain aches and pains, for example when your wings come in, but overall it's a fairly pleasant experience." 

 

"How does it work?" Dean asks. 

 

Castiel smiles softly, hearing the slight anxiety in his boy's voice. "You will drink our angel grace. It will repair your soul over time. As your soul heals, the grace will be able to take hold in your body and grow its own supply."

 

"How long does it take? Until we're full powered angels?" Dean asks him. 

 

"It's different for everyone. In order to be an angel, your soul needs to be healed completely. For some, that only takes a few months. Others can take years." 

 

God, never one to sugarcoat things, informs them, "Your souls are severely damaged. It will be a long process."

 

"Better than death, though?" Sam asks. 

 

"Sam, you can't seriously be considering this," Dean barks at his brother. 

 

"Why can't I? It sounds cool. And I don't know about you but I'm not ready to be dead, dude." Sam blushes. "Doesn't it sound nice? Just to take a bit of a break?"

 

Seeing Dean's resolve waning, Castiel sweetens the pot. "The power you will have can help you keep yourself and your brother safe."

 

That's the chord that needed to be hit. The powers would help Dean keep Sam safe. Sam isn't ready to die yet. Sam wants this.

 

"Okay, Sammy," Dean says quietly. "Okay. We can do it." 

 

"That's a very good-"

 

"But," Dean adds, cutting God off mid-sentence without caring. "Sam and I never get separated. Ever. We stay together through the entire process or no deal." 

 

For some reason, God looks at Castiel and Gabriel, as if it's up to them. The two angel brothers exchange nods before smiling at whichever Winchester boy is in their arms. 

 

"That's perfectly fine," Castiel assures. 

 

Gabriel nods. "Cas and I will make sure the two of you are safe and together. Always."

 

Still feeling nervous, Dean sinks further into Castiel and tries to act like he doesn't care about any of this. He forces a bored tone when he says, "Might as well get it started then." 

Chapter 2

Summary:

Dean realizes there's more to this nestling thing than he thought...

 

**sorry these first few chapters are so short! They'll get longer once the plot is set and the boys regress!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

"No."

 

"Dean-"

 

"No."

 

"It's necessary for-"

 

"Hell. No."

 

Castiel gives Dean a stern look, but Dean isn't paying attention. His eyes are glued on the living room of the new house. A chest of toys. A rocking horse. A baby swing. 

 

He hasn't seen the rest of the house, but if there's a damn nursery, heads are going to roll.

 

What's worse? Sam isn't outraged like Dean is. In fact, he looks curious. Maybe even a tad excited. 

 

That's ridiculous. This is ridiculous. 

 

"It's so much easier, and less painful, to heal your souls when you’re de-aged. Then you can regrow into a perfectly healthy angel."

 

"No."

 

"Dean, after a few days, you won't even know what's happening. Your mind will regress too."

 

Dean scoffs. "Yeah, that's not helping Cas. When have I ever wanted to be unaware of what's happening? When have I ever given up control?"

 

"Exactly, Dean. Aren't you exhausted?"

 

Before Dean can answer, Sam speaks up, giving his brother what looks very close to puppy dog eyes. "Let's just try it."

 

"Seriously?"

 

"I mean.. I know it's not what we expected, but it's this or being dead."

 

"I'd rather be dead." When Dean sees the pain those words cause Sam, he winces. "Okay, I - I didn't mean that, Sammy."

 

"Dean, I think we've earned this. Don't we always fantasize about taking a break? About just letting go and relaxing? We can do that now. And Cas and Gabe will keep us safe."

 

Unable to look at the room any longer, Dean focuses on Sam instead. "If this is what you really want, then I can… try. For you."

 

Castiel grins wide, then looks up at Gabriel. The two exchange a look and then Gabriel takes Sam by the hand and Castiel does the same for Dean. 

 

"Come now. We'll give you both some grace."

 

"Is it - does it taste weird?" Sam asks. 

 

"It has no taste, but it's cool to the touch for humans. When it's in your system, though, it will create a warmth,” Castiel explains. 

 

Sam nods, then asks, "How do we drink it?" 

 

"You can have it in a glass for now. We will mix it with some juice for you."

 

For the first time in a while, Dean speaks up. "For now? What does that mean?"

 

Castiel winces, avoiding eye contact with Dean. It's Gabriel who answers. "Depending on what level of regression your soul decides to go to, you'll drink from bottles or sippy cups. You can also nurse from our wings."

 

"I most certainly will not be doing any of that," Dean informs them. 

 

Both of the angels just smirk. There's no point arguing with the man. The grace will change his mind soon enough. 

 

----

 

The purpose of the first grace is mostly a mentality adjustment. Instead of repairing the soul, this initial dose wraps around the mind like a warm embrace. It's calming. The grace allows internal walls to be lowered. Emotions and thoughts to be freed. Worries start to fade or break down into more basic issues. 

 

If one chooses, they can fight the effects of the first dose. 

 

Sam isn't fighting it. 

 

Dean is. 

 

Castiel and Gabriel don't have to ask the boys to know this. Whereas Sam is lounging on the couch with a fuzzy blanket, watching a superhero movie and letting Gabriel card his fingers soothingly through his hair, Dean is pacing. 

 

Dean can feel the grace pumping inside his body. It's foreign and aggressive. The fluid seems to throb a steady breathe breathe breathe and calm calm calm. Dean doesn't trust it. Not in the least. He’s positive that the second his guard is let down, something terrible will happen. 

 

Maybe he can fight this all the way. Stay normal so he can help Castiel and Gabriel take care of Sam. Then Sam can get his break and relax, and Dean doesn't have to. Dean doesn't need it anyway. He's perfectly fine. Damaged soul or not, Dean doesn't need rest or reprieve. He'd rather just help Sam achieve those things. Sam is what’s important. 

 

"Dean," Castiel says softly, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop his frantic back and forth movements. "Why don't you sit and watch the movie with your brother?"

 

"I've seen it," Dean grunts. 

 

"I know, but you can still relax and enjoy it."

 

The word relax noticeably bothers Dean, and he goes back to pacing. "I'm fine. Is Sam okay, though? How is he doing? Anything going wrong? Is he feeling alright?"

 

Giving Dean a sad smile, Castiel stops his pacing again. He does it this time by pulling Dean into a hug. The boy stands ramrod straight, arms at his sides, but Castiel can feel his own grace pulsing inside Dean. Castiel reaches for it with the grace still inside his own body, and together the graces wrap around Dean, sending him signals.

 

Calm. Calm. Calm. 

 

Safe. Safe. Safe. 

 

Love. Love. Love. 

 

Dean relaxes into him for just a second before quickly jerking away. He doesn't return to pacing, though. Instead he seeks out his brother. 

 

Castiel watches with pleasure as Dean settles beside Sam, close enough for it to look like they're cuddling- not that Dean would admit it. Wanting to stay close by, Castiel takes a seat on the very edge of the couch, just as Gabriel is doing on the other side. With Castiel and Gabriel positioned where they are, Sam and Dean are in between the two angels. Safe. Secure. 

 

Both angels can sense Sam and Dean's tiny graces reaching out to each other. Calm washes over the brothers immediately. Within minutes, they're both fast asleep. 

Notes:

Follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever

You can also find my patreon tag there, where some fantastic artwork by a friend for this fic is posted!

Chapter Text

When Dean wakes up on the couch, he feels uncomfortable. His eyes are itchy and dry, his throat is scratchy, and his stomach hurts. Fidgeting in his spot, he whines under his breath. He knows what to do, logically. He should get up and drink some water. Maybe take some medicine. Go to the bathroom. 

 

In reality, Dean doesn't want to do that. He just wants to curl back up and magically feel better. Maybe have someone else take care of him. 

 

"Dean? Honey?"

 

Dean flinches, shooting Castiel a glare. "Don't call me honey," he rasps. 

 

"Okay, Dean. I'm sorry." Castiel hides a smile, kneeling in front of the couch to be on eye level with Dean. "Is there something wrong?"

 

"No."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Yup." Dean shoves to his feet, swaying for a second before he catches his balance. "I need some air."

 

Castiel nods. "Okay. Let me join you."

 

"No. I'm fine."

 

"I'd feel more comfortable if I came along."

 

Dean grits his teeth and glares at Castiel. "I'm still a fucking adult. Leave me alone."

 

Putting his hands in the air, Castiel takes a step back. "Go ahead, then. Just don't leave the yard please."

 

"Fine."

 

"And put a coat on. With the sun down, it's chilly out."

 

"Fine." 

 

"And-"

 

"Cas," Dean turns back to look at him. "Don't push it."

 

----

 

A warm, fuzzy feeling surrounds Sam as he blinks awake. He squirms and sits up, rubbing at his eyes with a fist. When he looks over to where he knows Dean was sleeping, his heart drops into his stomach. Dean is gone. 

 

Sam twists and turns, scanning all directions, but he can't see Dean anywhere! Dean wouldn't leave him, right? Sam knows Dean isn't enjoying this the way he is, but it's not bad enough for him to leave. To abandon Sam. 

 

Sam can't do this without Dean. 

 

He just…. Can't. 

 

Each breath is heavy and painful. His eyes burn and water. The muscles in his body are twitching. Before he knows it, he's crying.

 

Once he starts, it's like a floodgate opens up. He sobs and wails without care. He knows it's childish and silly, he's supposed to be a grown man, but Sam does it anyway. He's sick of swallowing his feelings. 

 

Arms wrap around Sam and he's scooped up from the couch. His grace recognizes Gabriel's, pulsing a steady safe safe safe and calm calm calm, and Sam immediately relaxes. 

 

"It's okay, little one," Gabriel coos. "You're safe. Daddy's got you."

 

Sam waits to feel mortified or uncomfortable, but it never happens. All he feels is loved. It's so nice, so freeing, that he can't help but smile. He hugs Gabriel - no, his daddy, tighter.

 

"I made blueberry pancakes. Are you hungry, baby?" 

 

"Yeah," Sam admits, even though he doesn't want to. Eating will mean that his daddy is going to put him down at the table. All alone. 

 

He pouts a little as he's set on his chair, but when his daddy comes back with the pancakes, he sits next to Sam to keep him company! That's all it takes for Sam to be smiling again. 

 

----

 

The backyard is actually really nice, if you ignore the fence, sandbox, playset, little pretend house, and kiddie pool. There are twinkle lights strung in the air everywhere, giving off a sort of whimsical feel to the area. A stone patio with big comfortable chairs to sit in is off to the side. In the far corner by the fence is a large oak tree with a swing hanging off a low branch. Beside it, in the grass, is a hammock. 

 

Dean settles himself on the hammock, one leg hanging off so he can push off the ground. As he gently sways, he starts to think this whole thing over. 

 

He's regretting it already. 

 

This grace feels wrong. His body is fighting it, making him feel unsettled and afraid. Dean isn't supposed to feel like that at all. He needs to fix this. He needs to tell Castiel he can't do this. 

 

Just as Dean is coming up with a way to talk to Castiel, he hears Sam crying. Loudly. 

 

He jumps to his feet, stumbling a few steps before catching himself. Listening to Sam cry is bringing tears to his eyes and his heart is pounding. When he gets to the sliding glass door, he gets frustrated with the handle. He starts to cry as he pulls at it harder. Why isn't the door working? And why is he so upset? 

 

He needs… he needs… he needs his da - no. Cas. Cas. He needs Cas.

 

Like a miracle, his da - Cas. Cas opens the door for him. Dean isn't even embarrassed by the way he gasps in relief and launches himself at Castiel. He just wraps himself around the angel and clings to him. 

 

"Oh, Dean. Honey." Castiel hugs him back, stroking his back soothingly. "It's okay. You're safe."

 

"Sammy!" Dean cries. "What's wrong with Sammy?"

 

"Oh, nothing. See?" Castiel guides Dean toward the dining room where Sam is sitting on a chair beside Gabriel. His cheeks are damp and eyes red, but he's smiling as he takes a bite of what looks like blueberry pancakes. 

 

Dean inches closer and sniffles. "Sammy? You okay?"

 

Sam perks up and grins at Dean. "I'm great! Come eat!"

 

Eyeing the pancakes, Dean mumbles, "I don't like blueberries."

 

"How about chocolate chip pancakes then?" Gabriel asks. 

 

"Really?" Dean bounces a little. "Yes please!"

 

Castiel leads Dean to the table and has him sit across from Sam while Gabriel goes to the kitchen to whip up some more pancakes. When Dean is settled, he bites the tip of his thumb nervously. 

 

"Sammy?" he asks after a minute. 

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Why were you cryin'?"

 

Sam frowns. "I woke up 'n you were gone. I got scared."

 

"Oh. Sorry." Dean fidgets. "I woke up scared too."

 

"Then Gabe 'n Cas reminded me we safe here."

 

"Yeah." Dean smiles. "Safe."

 

Gabriel and Castiel stand in the kitchen watching the boys over the breakfast counter. The boys are already showing signs of regression. Their bodies are taking to the grace much better than the angels expected. They wouldn't be surprised if the boys woke up after their night dose already starting to physically regress. 

 

The angels can't wait to finally get the chance to be a daddy and an uncle to these two little miracles.

Chapter 4

Summary:

Short but sweet update <3

** chapters start getting much longer once regression hits!!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sam wakes up in the middle of the night feeling panicked. He scrambles out of his bed and into Dean's, just like he used to as a little kid. His presence wakes Dean, and Sam feels bad, but also relieved. 

 

"Dee?" he whispers into the darkness, his voice small.

 

"Sammy? Sammy, what's wrong?"

 

"Dunno." He squirms and presses a hand to his stomach. "Are you sick? I not feelin' good."

 

Dean shakes his head. "No. I feel okay. Should we wake up Cas and Gabe?"

 

Feeling embarrassed, Sam shakes his head. He wants to be brave. This is just a stomach ache and a bit of a hot flash. He's been through so much worse. He knows he's being ridiculous. 

 

Knowing how Sam feels, just like Dean's always been able to do, Dean pulls him close and lays him back down. "Jus' sleep with me, Sammy. You're okay."

 

"Sorry, Dee. 'M bein' stupid."

 

"No." Dean nuzzles Sam before wrapping his arms around him. "I felt the same way earlier. No big deal."

 

"I want this part to be over."

 

Dean doesn't say so out loud, but he agrees. It's scary to think about being a kid again. The loss of control alone is terrifying. He won't be able to defend himself. He won't be able to speak up if he disagrees. 

 

He won't be able to keep Sam safe. 

 

Dean wants this part over with, because this part is pretty much the definition of anxiety. He hates it.

 

Dean takes a breath and calms himself. It's too late now. Castiel and Gabriel will take good care of them. They'll keep them safe. Castiel explained they're in a pocket dimension, so no monsters or demons can come for them here. And even though their depleted grace from the feedings will make Gabriel and Castiel slightly more human, they'll still be plenty strong enough if something happens. 

 

"Dee?" Sam whispers after a minute.

 

"Yeah, Sammy?"

 

"Are you scared too?"

 

Knowing he needs to be brave and strong, Dean presses a kiss to Sam's forehead and tells him, "I'm scared, but I know we'll be okay, Sammy. No worry." 

 

Sam sighs in relief. "Okay, Dee. 'Night."

 

"Night Sammy."

 

----

 

When Castiel and Gabriel go into the boy's room in the morning, they stop short at the sight in front of them. Dean and Sam are tangled on Dean's bed. Sam is sucking his thumb, and Dean is holding a bundle of blanket like you would a stuffed animal. 

 

Gabriel smirks at Castiel. "You know what this means, right?"

 

"Yup." Castiel grins at him, blue eyes shining bright. "This might actually work." 

Notes:

Follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever (:

Chapter 5

Summary:

Another short one. The next chapter is nice and long, though <3 Enjoy the fluff!

Chapter Text

After breakfast and a morning dose of grace, Castiel and Gabriel bring the boys outside for some sun and fresh air. They all sit in the chairs on the patio, just talking about little things like the birds and the weather. Whenever the conversation turns heavier, both Dean and Sam grow bored and start to daydream, eyes scanning the yard. Castiel and Gabriel definitely notice. Just like they've noticed that both boys woke up without any scruff or stubble, their eyes slightly bigger than normal, and their hair extra soft, curly, and messy. They bet if they looked, the boys would be hairless everywhere below the neck even. It's a great sign. Overnight tonight, while they sleep, the boys should morph into their child forms. 

 

Both Castiel and Gabriel are anxiously excited to find out what ages the boys regress to. They've already agreed Sam will be younger. Not because of the boy's true age being 4 years below Dean, that doesn't matter, but because Sam is taking to this much easier than Dean, already showing clearer signs of mental regression. Plus, though neither of them would ever say it out loud, Sam’s soul needs to heal the most. The boy has demon blood in his system, after all. 

 

Sam carefully gets out of his chair and takes small steps across the yard, heading toward the sandbox. Gabriel keeps his eye on him, but Castiel watches Dean. The boy is clearly nervous that his brother is going so far away. He can see Dean struggling to stay here with the adults, knowing Dean is afraid if he goes to the sandbox it will make him more like a little kid, something he’s still stubbornly fighting against. 

 

Dean lasts 2 minutes. Then he's wobbling over to Sam and sitting down in the small sandbox. With them still being fully grown, there's not enough room for them to do anything but just sit together in the sand. Still, the boys seem happy. Relaxed. Castiel's heart flutters at the sight. 

 

"They're doing well," Gabriel muses. 

 

"Better than I expected."

 

"Yours is going to be stubborn. Even after the physical regression." 

 

Castiel shoots his brother a look, feeling defensive over Dean. "Yes, he will be. But that's perfectly fine. I don't mind a little guy with some attitude."

 

This makes Gabriel laugh. "I'm just hoping Sammy is quiet and sweet. Then I can sit back and enjoy watching you deal with tantrums and sass."

 

"Wow. Thanks, Gabe. Feeling the love."

 

"You should. You know I love you, Cassie," Gabriel teases. He looks over at the boys again and his obnoxious smile softens. "I love them too. More than I thought I ever could."

 

Castiel nods. He's loved these boys since the day he laid eyes on them. Of course, God told him this was his plan for the boys before he sent Castiel to retrieve Dean from hell, but Castiel thinks he still would have been drawn to them in the same way regardless of what he knew. Their souls sing so beautifully for Castiel's grace. He fell in love instantly. 

 

"Welcome to my world," Castiel finally says in response. He can't stop himself from smiling as he hears Dean's soft laughter in the air. "Isn't it beautiful?"

 

------

 

Sam giggles under his breath, wiggling his toes in the sand. "Do it, Dee. It feels cool."

 

Biting his lip, Dean takes his shoes off and tentatively puts his feet beside his brothers. It does feel kind of cool. Soft. Warm. Squishy. 

 

"When we're little, this is gonna be the coolest."

 

Dean waits for a sarcastic comment to come to mind, but it doesn't. Instead, he finds himself silently agreeing with a nod.

 

"Did we ever play in sandboxes, Dee? I don't remember."

 

"No." Dean digs his toes deeper in the sand. "But there was a little playground by Bobby's I'd sometimes bring you to. A slide and a swing and a merry-go-round." 

 

"Did you ever get to play? Or were you always watching me?" 

 

Dean shrugs. "I never wanted to play. No big deal."

 

"That can't be true. You were a kid, too."

 

"No, Sammy. I never really was."

 

Sam frowns as it dawns on him that what Dean's saying is true. Sam has been so excited thinking about being a kid again. No worries. No danger. No fear. A dad who cares about him and loves him no matter what. He never even considered how Dean must feel. 

 

"Aren't you excited to get a second chance? You can play and be silly and do all the stuff dad said you couldn't." 

 

"I dunno." Dean curls in on himself. His stomach is starting to hurt but he's sure it has to do with the grace, and nothing to do with his anxious feelings.

 

"Why are you so nervous about all this? And I want the real reason, not some big-bad-macho-Dean reason."

 

Dean feels his face heat up. It takes him a while, but he eventually admits, "I don't know how to be a kid."

 

"Like, you don't remember?"

 

"I guess? I dunno. I'm sure when mom was alive I got to act like a kid. But I don't remember much from that time." 

 

"Well, I'll teach you then." 

 

Dean looks over at his little brother, feeling an odd sense of hope and excitement swirling in his stomach. He hasn’t felt that in… jeez, he hasn’t felt that in so long, he can’t even remember. "Really?" he asks Sam, unable to stop his smile. 

 

"Yup." Sam grins. "Step one, toes in the sand."

 

Dean giggles. "We already did that!"

 

"Good. Step two, then.” Sam winks at him. “Let yourself enjoy it!"

 

Chapter 6

Summary:

Sammy has embraced his new role... but can Dean?

Chapter Text

Sam and Dean have dinosaur chicken nuggets and mac 'n cheese for lunch. Dean starts to complain, but after he sees Sam happy about the food he decides not to. He even accepts a sippy cup of juice and grace when it's handed to him. Only because Sam did, of course. Dean didn't actually want to. He's still an adult. 

 

"Nap time," Castiel announces after the boys have finished their grace juice. 

 

Dean huffs. "I haven't napped in decades."

 

"Exactly, Dee. How many times did we say we wanted to? Or wished we could?  Now we can!"

 

"I guess so," Dean mumbles. He's quickly realizing that following Sam in this might not be the best idea. The kid is practically open to anything. 

 

"Dean, do you need to go potty first?" Castiel asks.

 

"Uh, no. I do not need to go potty."

 

"Maybe you should try. Just in case."

 

Dean gives him a dirty look. He can hear Sam agreeing to try just a few feet away, talking to Gabriel, but he draws the line here. If he has to pee, he will wake up and go. Not a big deal. He's not going to go in the bathroom and try to force himself to pee just in case. 

 

He's getting really sick of this whole treating him like a kid thing. Maybe the grace doesn't work for him. It's definitely not relaxing him. It's not making him feel like a kid or act differently. 

 

Dean falls asleep feeling excited. If the grace isn't working like it's supposed to, he can stay an adult and take care of Sammy. He knows he'd be good at it. He was before. Sammy would make a better angel than Dean, anyway. It's best if Dean just stays how he is. 

 

---- 

 

When Sam sits on the potty, agreeing to try to pee even though he doesn't feel like he needs to, he's surprised to find that he did need to go. A steady stream of pee comes out of his now small, hairless penis and into the toilet. He bites his bottom lip and blushes. Gabr- his daddy - is right outside. He can probably hear Sam going potty. 

 

Sure enough, once Sam flushes and washes his hands, his daddy enters the bathroom without even knocking. He meets Sam's eyes in the mirror and smiles at him. Sam can't help but smile back.

 

"Good boy going potty," his daddy tells him. "With your grace now manipulating your mind, you may not be self-aware enough for that much longer. Thank you for trusting me and trying for me."

 

Sam's blush deepens, but he stays quiet. He's still too embarrassed to talk about it out loud. 

 

Also, he's kind of worried he will accidentally call Gabriel his daddy. Sam isn't ready for that yet. 

 

"Do you maybe want to wear a pull-up for your nap? Just in case. I can give it to you if you'd like to do it on your own." Sam hesitates. That actually sounds kind of nice. The idea of not knowing if he had to go potty was giving him anxiety, and after spending a morning anxiety-free, Sam really wasn't happy to be feeling that again. But what would Dean think if he found out? 

 

"Sammy?" Gabriel prompts softly. 

 

Pulling out of his thoughts, Sam looks at his daddy. "Yeah?"

 

"Daddy thinks you should put the pull-up on. No one has to know. It'll be under your pants."

 

No one has to know. Those are the magic words, and Sam nods. "Okay. I try."

 

----

 

Something is sticky and wet against Dean. He shifts, still half-asleep, and mumbles. Whatever it is doesn't go away. Frustrated, he smacks his hand near the area and tries to push whatever it is off himself. It's stuck, though. Clinging to his legs. 

 

Dean cries softly. He's too tired for this. He doesn't want to wake up! But it's so uncomfortable now. The thing is ruining his nap. 

 

Whining high in his throat, Dean tries to get away one final time. It's no use. Whatever it is won't let go of him. 

 

Oh no! What if it's a monster? 

 

Dean starts crying loudly, his body trembling. He doesn't even notice at first when his daddy picks him up. It takes a few seconds to register that he's safe. He clings to his daddy and sniffles, whining, "Wet!"

 

"I know, baby. I know. You had an accident. No big deal."

 

"Accident?" Dean whispers. The word sounds familiar. He blinks a few times and realizes they're in the bathroom now. 

 

Oh my god! Dean had an accident, as in he peed his pants! 

 

Crying harder, Dean tries to squirm out of his dad- Castiel's hold. This can't be real. He will die of embarrassment. 

 

Dean squeaks when Castiel starts to unbutton his pants. "No! Go 'way!"

 

"Honey, it's okay. Let daddy help you."

 

"No! Not daddy! You Cas!" Dean feels his face burn at the way he's talking. He chalks it up to the humiliation and the fact he's still half-asleep. It has nothing to do with being a kid. Dean is not a kid. He's an adult. An adult who can handle this. "Go 'way!"

 

"Okay. Okay. I'll give you privacy." Castiel leaves the bathroom and closes the door, then speaks through it. "I'm right here if you need help." 

 

Dean scoffs. He doesn't need help. This is fine. So what if he peed his pants? That… happens. Not the end of the world. He'll clean up, and then they can forget about it. 

 

Except Dean can only get as far as taking his soaked pants and underwear off, getting a cloth wet and soapy, and cleaning his legs and crotch. Then he realizes three things at once. 

 

One, his legs are hairless, as well as his much smaller than normal balls and penis. 

 

Two, he doesn't have any clean clothes to put on.

 

Three, he really wants a big hug. 

 

Since he refuses to acknowledge any of that, he just sits on the fuzzy bath mat and curls up in a ball, pouting. 

 

He hates this. It stinks! He's a big boy!

 

Dean yawns. He was really enjoying his nap, and he wants to go back to it. This isn't fair. Dean doesn't want to have to deal with going potty and changing clothes and all that stuff! He just wants to be taken care of. 

 

He just wants to sleep. 

 

----

 

"Dean?" Castiel calls after a minute. When Dean stays quiet, he slowly opens the door and peeks inside. His heart melts when he sees his boy, who is curled up and on his side, his face smooshed against the bathroom floor. Dean is fast asleep and sucking his thumb. 

 

Carefully approaching him, Castiel hovers a hand over the dirty pants and underwear and makes them disappear. He scoops Dean up, naked bum and all, and carries him into the nursery. Dean doesn't wake up when he's placed on the soft carpeting of the room. He doesn't even stir when Castiel cleans him with baby wipes, powders him, and secures an adult diaper on him. They didn't buy much in adult sizes since the boys will physically regress soon, but Castiel is glad they got some things. Dean might be upset when he wakes up like this, but at least the little one will get some rest first. 

 

After sliding a large pacifier into Dean's mouth, Castiel scoops him back up and carries him into the room he and Sam have been sharing. His bed needs to be cleaned still, so Castiel places Dean next to Sam in Sam's bed instead. He kisses each boy on the forehead before sneaking out again. 

 

Gabriel is waiting for him in the kitchen, frowning. "He's fighting it so damn hard. Sam let me put a pull-up on him just in case, even though he went potty when I asked him to try." 

 

"I know." Castiel rubs a hand over his face. He knew Dean would be a challenge, but the boy has had 3 doses of grace already. He's worried for Dean. The fourth dose tonight is probably going to physically de-age the boys, since their bodies have been reacting so well, but if Dean's mind continues to fight this, Castiel doesn't know what will happen. 

 

"Maybe we can nudge his mind in the right direction," Gabriel suggests. 

 

"How?"

 

"Well, if we can convince Sammy to be more little for the rest of the day, Dean will see how nice it is. He'll watch Sam get cuddled and taken care of. Watch him play. He'll be jealous. Dean will want to be little too."

 

Castiel considers this. It's true that Sam has been a major influence on Dean since the start of this. He convinced Dean to try in the first place. When Sam laid down on the couch yesterday, Dean joined him. When Sam went into the sandbox, Dean followed. The dinosaur chicken nuggets. The sippy cups. The cuddling in bed together. All Sam. 

 

Castiel smiles at his brother. "You think it'd work?"

 

"No idea, but it's worth a shot." 

 

----

 

"Hey Sammy, would you be able to do daddy and uncle Cas a big favor?" Gabriel asks as he carries Sam to the bathroom. The boy woke up and snuck out of the room, not wanting to wake Dean up, and came to find Gabriel where he was making dinner in the kitchen. He had squirmed and blushed and admitted his pull-up was wet. 

 

"What is it?" 

 

"Well, it's to help Dean feel better. Do you want to help Dean feel better, Sammy? Help him be happy?"

 

Sam nods excitedly. "Yes yes! Dee happy!"

 

Gabriel pauses before he removes Sam's pull-up, needing to finish the conversation first. Sam doesn't seem to mind. He's busy tracing the letters on his t-shirt. 

 

"Sammy, you're doing so good at being little. And you've been such a big helper teaching Dean how to be little, but we think maybe Dean would feel better if you got littler. If he sees you fully let go, no more hesitation or embarrassment, we think he would let go too."

 

It takes a minute for Sam to process all those words. He nervously sucks on his thumb as he figures out what's being asked of him, and what he wants to do in response. His daddy must sense his anxiety because he starts to card his fingers through Sammy's long hair. 

 

"If you don't want to, baby, that's okay. We don't want to rush you."

 

"No. No, I do it. I jus' kinda scared."

 

"Okay. That's normal, buddy. It's okay to feel scared." Gabriel gives him a smile of encouragement. "Can you tell daddy what is scaring you? Anything specific?"

 

Sam sucks his thumb again, cheeks turning red. It's going to sound so stupid. Dean is worried about losing control and being vulnerable in a time of danger. Sam is worried about not being a good enough baby, a good enough nestling, and disappointing his daddy and uncle. 

 

Carefully, Sam takes his thumb out and admits, while making sure to avoid eye contact, that, "I'm scared of not bein' good."

 

"Good at what, baby?"

 

Sam’s voice quakes as he answers, "At this. What if - what if I'm bad 'n you no want me no more, but you're stuck with me! Then you'll hate me!" 

 

Without meaning to, Sammy starts to cry. He's relieved when his daddy takes him into his arms and gently rocks him back and forth.

 

"Shhh, little one. It's okay. Daddy will always love you no matter what, okay? There's no way you can be bad. You're already doing so so good. All I want is for you to be happy, and it's my job to make you happy. Your job is to just let go and be who you want to be." 

 

"Really?" 

 

"Really. Nothing in this whole universe could make me hate you, Sammy. I'll always love you."

 

Feeling like a weight has been lifted, Sam snuggles into his daddy and numbles, "K. I do it." 

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"Mmmhhmm."

 

Gabriel smiles. "Alright. First order of business, then. Let's get you into a clean diaper." 

 

----

 

Dean wakes up feeling comfortable and happy. He wiggles around in the bed, stretching his sore muscles, and lets out a content sigh. 

 

Then he remembers he had an accident. He should be in the bathroom. Dean doesn't remember coming back to bed. How did he get here? And who dressed him? Because he's definitely dressed in something. He can feel it on his bum and private area. It's soft and cushiony. He glances under the blanket and begins to cry when he realizes what's on him. 

 

A diaper.

 

Daddy - no, Cas - put him in a diaper! And he didn't even add pants to hide it! 

 

Things get worse as he sits up in bed and sees an adult-sized pacifier on the mattress beside his pillow.

 

Oh no. What is happening to him?

 

Dean tears off the diaper - which is thankfully dry - and searches for new clothes. Except there aren't any. At least not in this room.

 

Wrapping a blanket around himself, Dean sneaks down the hall and checks the nursery Castiel said is his. There are 2 big-little outfits, and 2 big-little footie PJs. Dean considers putting one of the outfits on, but they're both onesies and pants, and he refuses to wear a onesie. Even though they look kind of … nice. He imagines it would feel like being all wrapped up when wearing one. 

 

As a last resort, Dean goes into Castiel's room. The angel has been wearing normal clothes since they got here, ditching the trench coat and suit for jeans and t-shirts. Dean takes one of the shirts from Castiel's closet, a soft gray one with a slight v-neck, and searches for pants. He feels too weird wearing his dad- Castiel's- underwear, so he grabs a pair of comfortable sweatpants and puts those on, going commando.  

 

Feeling very proud of himself for fixing the problem he woke up with, Dean marches down the hall to the living room. The TV is playing something that sounds a lot like cartoons. He scoffs at first, but when he comes around the corner he sees that the cartoon is scooby doo, and he has to fight the instinct to hurry to the couch so he doesn't miss another second. 

 

"Dee!" 

 

Dean turns toward the sharp squeak to find his brother sitting on the living room floor in front of the TV. There's a soft rug beneath him with different colored little animals on it, and his bare legs are spread to accommodate the small pile of blocks he's playing with between them. Dean stares in awe. Sam is… Sam is wearing a diaper. He's wearing a diaper in front of everyone, not even using pants to hide it. Just a diaper and a new shirt that's baby blue and has sharks on it. 

 

"Dee! Dee!" Sam huffs when he realizes Dean isn't as excited to see him as Sam is to see Dean. He gets a great idea, knowing exactly what will make Dean happy. He reaches down and clumsily picks up one of the big wooden blocks with the pretty colored letters on it. He waves it in the air toward Dean and proudly states, "Bwocks!" 

 

Dean clenches his fists at his sides. "What happened to him?"

 

Both Castiel and Gabriel look at him like they don't understand the question. 

 

"Why is he so - so," Dean gulps. "Why is he bein' all weird?"

 

Sam gasps at that last word and begins to sniffle. "Sammy no weiwd!"

 

"I - I sorry, Sammy."

 

"Mean Dee!" Sam crawls over to Gabriel and scrambles up his legs. He burrows down in his daddy's lap and immediately starts to cry. 

 

Dean watches in amazement as Gabriel begins to rock Sam, softly humming as he sways. He gives Sam a big pacifier like the one Dean had in his own bed just a few minutes ago. Sam takes it thankfully and starts to calm. When Gabriel kisses his forehead, Sam giggles and nuzzles him. 

 

Feeling incredibly left out and confused, Dean shuffles out of the living room and back to his bedroom. Dean's been miserable all day long, but Sam hasn't. He had fun with the sand and the blocks. Enjoyed his sippy cup grace juice. Giggled and smiled. Played and got excited. He's in a diaper, not having to worry about accidents, and he seems even happier because of it. 

 

Without realizing it, Dean went to his nursery instead of his bedroom he shares with Sam. He chalks it up to wanting his own space. Besides, it's nice in here. Daddy said when they find out what age the boys regress to, they'll redecorate. 

 

Wait. No. Not daddy. Castiel

 

Castiel said they'll redecorate. For now, Dean doesn't mind the plainer nursery theme. It's all in shades of green with little animals on the sheets, pillows, blankets, and wall paintings. There are a bunch of stuffed animals in his crib-bed. Since the front bars are down right now, Dean goes to the bed and sits on it. 

 

There's a big, floppy dinosaur closest to him. He tentatively picks it up and places it in his lap. The fur is so incredibly soft. He brings the stuffed animal up to his face and nuzzles it. There are no words to describe how good it feels to do that. A peace washes over him.

 

"Dean, honey?" he hears softly from the door. 

 

Dean drops the animal and launches to his feet, eyes burning in embarrassment. At his reaction, Dad- no, Castiel - frowns and closes the door so they're all alone in private. It makes Dean's heart race. 

 

"I was just coming to see if you're okay," Castiel says softly. 

 

"I - I - umm." Dean sniffles and a tear falls down his cheek. He lifts his chin, staying strong. "I fine."

 

He expects Castiel to yell at him for clearly lying, but that's not what happens. The angel smiles instead. "Okay. Good. Have you gone potty yet? You might want to try."

 

Dean squirms. "I go inna sec."

 

"Okay. Are you hungry? Uncle Gabe is feeding Sammy a nice warm bottle of milk because he was hungry. Do you want a snack before dinner? We have goldfish crackers, cereal, fruit, c-"

 

"No bottle?" Dean asks, his heart sinking a little. 

 

Castiel's eyebrows jump before he quickly smoothes them out. He gives Dean a soft smile. "You can have a bottle. Of course, Dean. I didn't think you'd want one."

 

"I don't," Dean says defensively. "Jus' kinda mean notta gimme da option."

 

"Oh. Of course. I'm sorry for being mean, Dean. Do you want something else for a snack?"

 

"No."

 

Castiel nods, then looks around the room. He sees the stuffed dinosaur on the floor and points at it. "What happened?"

 

"Nothin'."

 

"It looks like he fell." When Dean doesn't respond, Castiel adds, "I hope he's not hurt."

 

Dean's entire face changes and he looks at the stuffie with so much sadness and alarm that Castiel just wants to wrap Dean up in a hug and hold him. He watches as Dean hurries to pick up the dinosaur. 

 

"Sorry! Sorry! I no mean to hurt you!" Dean whispers, obviously forgetting Castiel has angel hearing. 

 

"Is he your friend?" Dean looks at the floor and hugs the stuffie to his chest, nodding. "Oh, good. He must've been so scared all alone on the floor. I bet he's thankful you saved him."

 

Dean peeks up at Castiel through his lashes. "I save him?"

 

"Of course!".

 

"Wow." Dean fidgets, trying hard to fight a smile. 

 

Feeling like they're getting close to a break through, Castiel continues talking. "He might still be scared after that fall. Maybe you should take care of him and keep him company for the rest of the night."

 

Dean frowns. "He scared?"

 

"Not with you, but he might be if he's alone." 

 

This clearly upsets Dean, because he squeezes the stuffed dinosaur tighter and mumbles, "I keeps him. He be happy then."

 

Hiding his smile, Castiel says, "That's so nice of you, Dean! Do you want me to hold him while you try to go potty? We don't want him to get dirty, right?" 

 

Dean bites his lip, thinking it over. Then he surprises Castiel by grabbing his hand and pulling him along. 

 

When they get outside the bathroom, Dean pauses in the hall, turning to his daddy. He looks at his daddy, then his dinosaur, then his daddy again. Daddy is right. Bathrooms have germs and are dirty. Mr. Dinosaur should probably stay here. But it makes Dean so so nervous to leave him…

 

With a deep breath, Dean slowly hands the stuffie to his daddy. He looks him in the eyes and carefully explains, "You stay rights here, 'n you keeps him safe! Oskay?"

 

Castiel lets himself smile. "Okay." 

 

Chapter 7

Summary:

Dean thinks maybe he's gonna try this thing out....

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dean still feels a little nervous when his daddy - yes, he’s trying it out… don’t judge him… it’s just to see - leads him to the living room. He’s expecting Sammy to be mad at him because of earlier, but when Sammy sees him he throws his arms in the air and shouts, “Dee! Dee! Miss you!”

 

“Miss you too!” All of Dean’s nerves evaporate and he goes running to his brother, falling to his knees in a jumble of limbs so he can show Sammy his dinosaur. “Look! I save him!”

 

“Woooow!” 

 

Sammy reaches out for the stuffed dinosaur but Dean pulls it away, holding it tight to his chest as he chirps, “Mine!”

 

“But - but - Dee!” Sammy starts to cry and Dean feels terrible about it. 

 

Before Castiel or Gabriel can step in, which they’re about to do, Dean hurries to make his baby brother happier by tentatively handing him the dinosaur. “Jus’ - jus’ be careful, Sammy. He gets scared sometimes.”

 

Sammy gasps in excitement and hugs the stuffie super hard. It’s so fluffy and soft! It makes him sad he has to give the dinosaur back. He really wishes he had one of his own. 

 

Sniffling, Sammy gives Dean his dinosaur back. His bottom lip trembles as he turns to his daddy and asks, “Sammy’s?”

 

“Where is Sammy’s stuffie?” Gabriel asks. When Sammy nods, Gabriel points down the hall. “In Sammy’s room!”

 

“Come on, Sammy! I help you find one!” Dean yells. He starts to run off but stops when he realizes his brother isn’t coming with. He turns around and looks behind himself, finding Sammy crawling quickly to catch up. Dean waits patiently, walking slow once Sammy is caught up so he doesn’t leave him behind again. 

 

When they get into Sammy’s nursery, Sammy squeals in excitement and starts power crawling across the room. He focuses solely on a stuffed puppy. It’s light brown with fuzzy hair and the biggest, floppiest dark brown ears. Sammy grabs it and holds it up in the air to show Dean. “Woof! Puppy! Woof woof!”

 

“Good job, Sammy! Puppy’s go woof!”

 

“Woof!” Sammy rubs his face against the super soft fur of the puppy and smiles. “Puppy.”

 

Dean gets an idea. It feels slightly silly, but Sammy is so happy right now, and Dean’s finally feeling happy too. It’s too good to mess up. 

 

Dropping to the floor, Dean sits beside his brother and puts his dinosaur closer to Sammy’s puppy. “Raawwr!”

 

Sammy giggles, then moves his puppy closer. “Woof! Woof!”

 

Both boys laugh this time. They keep poking at each other’s stuffed animal, pretending to kiss or hug or talk. Neither have any idea that Castiel and Gabriel are watching. 

 

“Told you so,” Gabriel teases his worry-wart of a brother. 

 

Castiel laughs softly. “You’re right. This is - this is amazing. Dean’s so happy.”

 

“Yeah.” Gabriel’s eyes fall on Sam. His smile turns from mocking to loving. “They both are.”

 

----

 

After dinner, the boys get to play for a little while before they have to take a bath and go to bed. Their daddies set them up in the living room on that soft rug from before. Sammy’s daddy gives him his wooden blocks again, as well as a set of rainbow stacking rings. Since Dean is acting a little older, at least for now, Dean’s daddy gives him a bucket of mega-blocks and a little plastic farm house with little farm animals to go with it. 

 

Sammy wants to build a house for his puppy. He’s such a cute, good little puppy, and Sammy loves him so so much! Sammy is going to make him the bestest house ever! Carefully, concentrating super hard, Sammy begins to build a square with his blocks. It’s crooked, but to Sammy it’s perfect, and he claps his hands in excitement. Then he puts his puppy inside the square and claps again. 

 

“Dee! Dee!” Sammy tugs on Dean’s sleeve to get his attention, then points a finger at his puppy’s new house. 

 

Dean pauses his conversation between his cow and pig, looking over at Sammy’s toys. He squints at the lopsided wooden circle-like shape, unsure of what it is. The puppy is in the center of it. 

 

“Oh no, is he stuck?” Dean asks carefully. If Sammy’s puppy is stuck, Dean would be more than happy to help save him. He did such a good job saving his dinosaur! And it’s Dean’s job as big brother to help Sammy. 

 

“No, Dee!” Sammy says in frustration. He sighs and points at the puppy again. “House!”

 

“Oh! His house!” Dean grins, now understanding. “Yous built puppy a house! I love it Sammy!”

 

Sammy blushes and squirms. “Tanks, Dee.” He peeks over at Dean’s toys. “Wuv yous farm.”

 

“Thanks you!” Dean smiles at his farm. He loves it a lot too. 

 

Just as Dean’s about to continue playing with the cow and the pig, his belly starts to hurt. He squeezes the toys tight in his fists and glances down at his lap. The tight, warm sensation in his gut feels familiar. 

 

“Sammy?” Dean whispers, looking around to make sure his daddy isn’t listening. He’s okay being little, he’s actually having lots of fun, but he doesn’t want to have to ask for help going potty. It’s just… Dean’s not so sure he remembers where the potty is, and he’s worried if he stands up, he'll accidentally pee his pants. 

 

Sammy looks up at him. “Dee?”

 

“Gotta go potty.”

 

“Oh.” Sammy shrugs. “Go!”

 

“I not sure I can.”

 

Sammy looks at Dean like he’s crazy. “Your diapey!”

 

“I not wearin’ one.”

 

This makes Sammy gasp. He puts down the block he was holding and leans toward Dean. “Dee no diapey?”

 

Blushing, Dean shakes his head. “I wanted to be big boy.”

 

“Why?” 

 

“I dunno.” Dean fiddles with his dinosaur nervously. He’s going to have an accident. He can tell. “I scared, Sammy.”

 

Sammy’s eyebrows pull in. Then he’s turning toward the kitchen and yelling, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

 

Dean stares at his brother, wide eyed and confused. He watches in a trance as his uncle Gabriel and his daddy come running in. Then he turns a deeper shade of red as he realizes too late what’s happening. 

 

“Dee potty!” Sammy tells the two adults. “No diapey!”

 

“Oh, Dean honey. Do you need to use the potty?” Castiel asks quickly, giving him one of those small smiles that makes Dean feel better every time, because those smiles drip with patience and fondness and love. 

 

Feeling brave from the smile, Dean gulps down a lump and nods. “Potty really really bad, daddy.”

 

Castiel’s face shines at the name Dean called him, and Dean can feel the angel's grace pulsing, reaching out to the small amount inside Dean. It's a steady, soothing happy happy happy. 

 

Before he's aware of what's happening, Castiel is picking him up and carrying him. Dean lets out a small squeak of protest but doesn't actually mind. It's nice in his daddy's arms. Plus, he really does have to go potty bad, and his daddy will get him there faster. 

 

His daddy sets him down in front of the potty, then opens the lid for Dean and asks, "Do you need help?"

 

Dean bites his bottom lip, then shakes his head. His daddy backs out of the room and closes the door. As Dean carefully sits down on the seat, his daddy yells through the door, "I'll stay right here. Let me know if you need me."

 

"K!" Dean lets out a breath and begins to go potty. It feels amazing. It’s not just the physical relief, either, but the emotional one as well. He was really worried that he was going to have an accident. Terrified, actually. 

 

Terrified enough that he makes a decision while sitting on the potty. 

 

Sammy is out in the living room still playing. Still having fun. He had just shrugged when Dean was panicking. His solution was simple. He was able to not worry about it, able to keep his mind on more fun and happy things. 

 

Dean wants that. He wants to be able to not worry. He wants to have fun and be happy. 

 

After wiping his bum and flushing, Dean hurries to wash his hands. When his daddy comes in just like he did last time, Dean turns to him and quickly blurts out his request before he can lose his courage. “Me wear a diaper?”

 

His daddy’s shock is clear on his face, and Dean hates himself. Dean thought this was what his daddy wanted! Why does he look so strange? Why isn’t he smiling? Dean buries his face in his hands and tries to run out of the bathroom. His daddy catches him though, quickly pulling him into a hug. “Shhh. I’m so sorry I upset you, little one. Daddy was just so excited you’re ready for such a big step!”

 

“No. Go ‘way,” Dean mumbles, trying to run again so his daddy can’t see that he’s now crying. 

 

“Dean, honey, it makes me happy that you want your diaper. That’s normal! It’s so good. It means you’re already growing into a perfect little nestling!” 

 

Wiping his face on his daddy’s shirt, Dean sniffles and asks, “Really?”

 

“Of course! You’re supposed to be little, so that your grace can heal you better! You’re being so good and brave and awesome, Dean. You and Sammy both.”

 

Feeling much better, Dean pulls away and looks into his daddy’s eyes. “Oskay. Then I - I wants a diaper. Please.”

 

Castiel grins ear to ear and nods enthusiastically. “Of course. Are you ready for your bath? Then I can get you in your diaper and PJs after.”

 

Fidgeting, Dean mumbles, “Sammy bath too?”

 

“I bet if you asked, Sammy would love to come take a bath with you.”

 

Without even responding verbally, Dean just nods once and rushes off to find his brother. Castiel laughs softly to himself. He watches his boy go until he’s out of sight, then turns back to the bathroom. He sweeps his hand over the space and expands it temporarily. This way, all four of them can be in the bathroom at once without needing to worry about it being cramped. The tub is also much larger so Sam and Dean won’t be fighting for space in it as they play. He’ll be honest, things will be much simpler when the two are the physical sizes that match their little minds, but this is still amazing. Castiel wouldn’t trade a second of it. Not a single one. 

Notes:

Make sure to follow me on twitter/tumblr @ destiel-love-forever for a lot more of my content <3

&& THANK YOU to everyone that's been interacting with me.

Chapter 8

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Sammy and Dean don’t last very long in the tub. They’re both exhausted from their long day of big decisions and emotions. Now that they’ve both let go of everything and accepted their daddys’ help, all their bodies want to do is go to sleep and get the rest they’ve been chasing for decades. 

 

Of course, the boys won’t admit they’re this tired. Not when they see all the new bath toys their daddies got them. They squirt each other with all the little rubber animals and crash their boats. They splash and giggle. Dean sings a terrible version of ‘Rubber Duckie’ while poking Sammy in the belly with the rubber duckie in his hand. 

 

By the time Castiel and Gabriel are able to wrangle the boys out of the tub, neither Sam nor Dean can keep their eyes open. They’re like putty as their daddies dry them off and bundle them up in huge fluffy towels. Each daddy brings their boy to their respective nursery to get them ready for bed. 

 

Sammy is whiney and grumbly, making little noises of frustration and discomfort every time Gabriel tries to do something. 

 

Sammy just wants to go to bed. Can’t his daddy see how sleepy he is? All this moving around is terrible. And he’s still kind of wet, especially his hair, and it’s cold in his nursery! 

 

As Gabriel lays Sammy down on the floor, since they didn’t invest in changing tables for the boys at their adult sizes like most other things at the house, Sammy releases an extra loud wail. He kicks his feet and pushes Gabriel’s hands away. 

 

“Shhh, baby. Just one more minute. Daddy’ll get you all nice and warm, then you can have your grace bottle and go sleep. Okay?”

 

Sammy huffs, more tears coming. “Seep now!” 

 

“Don’t be grumpy, little man. We’re already almost done here.”

 

“Seep now!” 

 

“Sammy-”

 

“Seep now!”

 

“Oh boy,” Gabriel grumbles under his breath, hurrying to secure a diaper around Sammy’s bum. He was really hoping all of that Winchester attitude was going to manifest inside Dean. Apparentally, Sammy is holding onto some of his own. 

 

With Sammy kicking, it’s difficult for Gabriel to get him into his PJs. He and Castiel agreed to do as much as possible without grace, since it’s supposed to make the experience more pure for the boys. He’s not enjoying this decision at the moment. 

 

“Sammy. If you let daddy put your PJs on like a good boy, you can get a special treat.”

 

The boy pauses. “Treat?”

 

“Mhhhmmm.”

 

“Whasit?”

 

“It’s a surprise. But you have to let daddy get you dressed.”

 

Sammy frowns, not sure if this is a good deal or not. Then he slips a finger into his mouth and looks up at his daddy, nodding. Gabriel sags in relief and grabs the footie pajamas, rushing through the process of getting his boy dressed before Sammy can change his mind. 

 

Thankfully, for the first time since they started this whole nestling thing, Castiel is having a much easier time with Dean. 

 

First, Dean wants to watch his diaper get put on. He’s fascinated. When his daddy puffs the baby powder over him, he gasps and then blows, sending some of the dust at his daddy and belly laughing when his daddy looks shocked. Then his daddy secures the diaper with the sticky tape. Dean’s fingers poke at the colorful little monsters that make up the pattern on the soft fabric. He loves each and every one of them. Now that the diaper is on, Dean wiggles around and giggles. It feels so comfy and warm! 

 

Next, Dean wants to pick out his own PJs. There are only two pairs that will fit him in this size and he’s not at all impressed with this. 

 

“How many does little Dean have?” Dean asks his daddy, arms crossed over his chest. 

 

Castiel laughs softly. The boy looks so damn cute standing there with a pouty face. “I got him a few of each size, since we don’t know what you’ll age down to. But don’t worry. You’ll be little soon. Maybe even tomorrow! And then we’ll go buy you all sorts of fun stuff.”

 

Dean is skeptical, but he trusts his daddy. He slowly turns back to his two PJ options for the night and concentrates on them. He picks the rocket ship footie pajamas. They’re black with all sorts of different bright colored rocket ships and planets, and he likes the pretty colors. Making sure to give his daddy a very serious look, Dean hands over the PJs and informs him, “These will do.”

 

Castiel bites the inside of his cheek. “Okay. I promise the selection will be much better once you’re the right size, buddy. I’m sorry.”

 

“‘S oskay, daddy. I still love you.” Dean wraps his arms around his daddy and squeezes him tight. He didn’t want to make him sad! He just wanted to make sure his PJs in the future are cooler and lots lots more! That’s all. 

 

“Daddy loves you too, baby boy.” Castiel gently strokes the back of Dean’s head, smiling into his neck. When the boy pulls away, Castiel helps him into his PJs, then scoops him up. He places Dean on his hip and grabs him a soft fuzzy blanket and his stuffed dinosaur that seems to be his current favorite. When Dean’s not looking, Castiel even slips a pacifier into his pants pocket. Dean might not be ready for that yet, but if he is, Castiel wants to be prepared. 

 

Castiel walks into the living room just as Gabriel is sitting down to feed Sammy. “Do you want to sit on the couch with Uncle Gabe and Sammy, or come in the kitchen with daddy?”

 

“Daddy,” Dean tells him. He yawns and rests his head on Castiel’s shoulder, nuzzling his daddy’s neck. When he feels his daddy place a soft kiss to his head, he smiles and lets his eyes fall closed. 

 

The next time Dean opens his eyes, he’s watching as his daddy cuts his arm and pours bright blue grace into the sippy cup. He gasps. “Daddy! You hurt!”

 

“Oh, don’t worry about it buddy. That’s how daddy gets you your grace. Look.” His daddy takes the blade away from his skin and within seconds the wound is closing up. Dean stares at it in awe. His daddy is the coolest. He has magic! 

 

“It no hurt?”

 

“Not at all. Kind of tickles, actually.”

 

Dean giggles. He nuzzles his daddy again, then rests his cheek back down on his shoulder. 

 

This is when Dean realizes he’s filling a sippy cup. When Dean saw Sammy in the living room, he was drinking a bottle. 

 

Not fair. 

 

Dean wants a bottle. 

 

“Daddy?” 

 

“Yes baby?” 

 

“Bottle?”

 

Castiel pauses just before pouring the milk he warmed up into the sippy cup of grace. He adjusts Dean in his arms and looks at him. “You want a bottle tonight?”

 

“Like Sammy!”

 

“Yes. Like Sammy.” Castiel smiles. “Alright, daddy will give you a bottle instead. One second.”

 

Dean hums in appreciation, nodding. He watches in excitement as his daddy prepares him his first bottle. It’s going to taste so good! Dean can just tell. And it’ll be so nice to just lay in his daddy’s arms and get fed. 

 

When the bottle is made, his daddy carries him into the living room. Castiel sits down in the rocking chair, making it so Dean can see Sammy across the room where he’s drinking his own bottle in Uncle Gabriel’s arms. 

 

Castiel shifts slightly, so Dean’s head is nestled in the crook of his arm. He smiles down at the boy as he brings the nipple of the bottle to his lips. Dean’s eyes go round and he smacks his lips twice before opening them into a little ‘O’. When the nipple is in his mouth, Dean starts to suck the grace milk down enthusiastically. Little drops of the liquid gather in the corners of his mouth, but that doesn’t seem to bother him. He just continues drinking. The more grace milk Dean consumes, the sleepier he gets. His eyes droop, each blink slower than the last, and his cheeks turn nice and rosy. 

 

With a final blink up at his daddy, Dean sighs in happiness and lets his eyes close for good. The milk is so yummy! Cool and refreshing on his tongue, but warm and comfy in his belly. He’s sad when he sucks the nipple only to find the liquid is all gone. A soft whine falls from his lips and he fidgets in his daddy’s arms. Before he can complain that he wants more, a new nipple is being placed in his mouth. This one doesn’t give him grace milk, but it’s warm and dry and fits perfectly on his tongue. He sucks away happily and decides to keep his eyes closed. He’s too tired to complain anyway. And besides… this is really nice.

 

 

----

 

 

Castiel hates that he has to sleep now. It’s a price he’s willing to pay, of course, but he did not miss the mundane side effects of humanity. 

 

Just as he’s able to get himself comfortable in his bed, finally falling asleep, a sharp scream from the nursery comes in through the baby monitor. Castiel jolts out of bed and stumbles down the hall. Gabriel joins him. He must have heard the scream on his own since he doesn’t have Dean’s monitor in his room. The two angels exchange a worried look as they hurry into the room. 

 

Nothing is in the room besides Dean, but Castiel’s worry doesn’t wane. Monsters are tricky. Gabriel must agree, because he starts checking the perimeter of the nursery with his hand out, grace vibrating off it. 

 

Castiel goes to the crib and looks down, his heart skipping when he sees his baby boy. 

 

Dean is small now. Just a tiny little thing. If Castiel had to guess, maybe two. No more than three. He’s wiggling on the mattress, trapped and tangled in the too-large footie pajamas. His small hands are yanking at the fabric near his belly and every few seconds he lets loose a pained scream like the one before. 

 

“Shhhh. Oh, sweetie.” Castiel scoops Dean up, frowning when it just makes him cry harder. “It’s okay. Daddy will get you out of these big clothes. No reason to cry, buddy! You’re okay.”

 

Another sharp sound escapes Dean’s lips. 

 

“Something’s wrong,” Gabriel says in a panicked voice. “That’s not just a pissed off kid that hates his clothes, Cas.”

 

“I - I don’t know how to figure it out.” Castiel panics, his heart racing. Is this how parents feel all the time? Terrified? Confused? Helpless? Castiel bounces Dean and murmurs in his ear. “Shhh. What’s wrong, Dean? Can you use your big boy words? Tell daddy what’s wrong.”

 

Dean sobs, clinging to his belly again. This time it’s naked - the oversized pajamas are off now - so it must be his actual stomach bothering him as opposed to the clothing. 

 

Relieved that there’s a reason - something he can fix - Castiel situates Dean so his belly is against Castiel’s chest. He hikes him up so Dean’s chin is resting on Castiel’s shoulder and presses a kiss to the baby’s temple. One arm holds the baby’s bum to support him while the other begins rubbing circles on his back. 

 

“Shhh.” Castiel starts to pace as he gently pats Dean’s back. The baby squirms and whines, his cries getting worse, but then he lets out a huge burp and goes silent. He sniffles, then leans back in Castiel’s arms to look at him. 

 

With wide green eyes, Dean giggles, “I buwped!” 

 

Castiel laughs. “You sure did. That was a big one!”

 

“Mine’s bigger.” Gabriel tilts back his head and lets loose a burp that’s loud enough to make Dean jump. Then Dean’s laughing big, loud belly laughs. 

 

Dean looks at Castiel with an ear to ear smile. “Daddy, unc’ buwped SOOO WOUD!” Each word is giggled and breathy. 

 

“So loud!” Castiel agrees. After giving his brother a dirty look that sends him running off, Castiel smiles down at his boy and carries him over to the changing table. “How about some PJs that fit you, huh?”

 

“No.”

 

Castiel tilts his head. “No?”

 

“I ‘wake now.”

 

“Oooh, no you’re not. You’ve only been sleeping two hours kiddo.”

 

“But - but - but I no sweepy,” Dean whines, giving Castiel his best puppy dog eyes and bottom lip pout. 

 

Even as Dean speaks, his eyelids are drooping. It makes Castiel smile. All he has to do is slip a pacifier in the boy's mouth and start humming Hey Jude, and Dean is out, not even making it through his diaper change. 

 

Once Castiel gets Dean into a pair of footie PJs that fit him, he brings the boy over to the rocking chair. It's not for Dean, Dean's already fast asleep and oblivious, but for Castiel instead. This is it now. Dean has fully become a nestling. 

 

He stares at him in amazement. The little freckles dusting his face are in the exact same places, just smaller and lighter. His hair is curly and longer, little tufts falling onto his forehead. The strong, chiseled features are replaced with chubby cheeks and a button nose. His fingers are tiny as they hold tight to Castiel's sleeve. 

 

Castiel is completely and irrevocably in love. 

 

 

----

 

 

After seeing that Dean physically regressed, Gabriel hurries off to his own boy's nursery in excitement. He thinks Sammy will be smaller- he took to everything so easily, and he seemed younger when he finally let go, not talking as much as Dean and choosing to crawl most places. 

 

Gabriel's grin slips a little when he sees that Sam is the same size. He brushes it off, though. Every nestling adjusts differently. It can take time. His Sammy can take as much time as he needs. Gabriel will wait, loving him just the same. 

 

Notes:

Don't forget to follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever (:

Chapter Text

Sammy has a wet diaper when he wakes up, and he makes it known immediately. He yells and cries until his daddy comes to get him, which takes forever! What could his daddy have been so busy doing? He took like a whole minute! 

 

The second Sammy's daddy picks him up, he kicks his legs and tells him in a very angry voice, "Wet! Daddy swow 'n Sammy wet!"

 

"Daddy wasn't that slow, baby. I had to take the pancake off the burner is all."

 

Sammy doesn't understand that, and he doesn't care. He just lays on the floor where his daddy put him with his arms crossed over his chest. His bottom lip is puffed out, eyebrows pulled in, and forehead wrinkled in his perfect grumpy face. When his daddy comes back with the diaper, he's going to see Sammy's face and feel bad! 

 

Except his daddy comes back and just smiles at him, almost like he thinks Sammy is cute! Sammy is not cute! Sammy is mad! 

 

With a huff, Sammy kicks his legs out again and grumbles, "Mad!"

 

"That's silly. Don't be mad at daddy. You're okay now. See?" He gestures to Sammy's naked bum that he's about to wipe. "Almost all clean." 

 

Sammy continues to pout, but he doesn't kick or yell anymore. He really just wants his clean diapey so he can go find Dee. Sammy wants to play! This is boring. 

 

But when his diaper is on and Sammy rolls away, planning to crawl out of the room, his daddy grabs him and drags him back. "Wait wait wait, little one. You gotta get dressed, silly!"

 

Sammy shakes his head. "Nakey okay." 

 

And really, in Sammy's opinion, nakey should be okay. What's the issue? He has his diapey on! 

 

"Sammy, you are awfully sassy today," his daddy scolds as he wrangles Sammy into a polka dot shirt and a pair of blue overalls. 

 

Sammy just huffs. He doesn't know why he's so cranky this morning, but he knows his daddy isn't helping matters. This is boring! And he's taking forever! 

 

Finally, Sammy's daddy says he's done. Sammy can't crawl away fast enough. He scrambles down the hall and into the living room, grinning ear to ear. He can't wait to see Dee! He can't wait to hug him and play with him! He can't wait to-

 

Sammy stops short, sitting back with his bum on his feet. 

 

Dee is… small. 

 

Really small. 

 

He's playing quietly with a dolly house, setting up all the furniture and people. He turns and sees Sammy, squealing in delight.

 

"Sammy!" Then Dee's eyes widen. "Sammy…. You so… big."

 

Tears pop up in Sammy's eyes immediately. Something's wrong with him! Dee is little like he's supposed to be, and Sammy isn't. 

 

His daddy picks him up, holding Sammy close and rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Ssh, baby. Shh. It's okay. You'll get to be little too, don't worry!"

 

Sammy just sobs harder. He wants to be little now! What if Dee doesn't like him this way? His mind feels so big and full right now. Sammy just wants things to be easier. 

 

This was supposed to be easier! 

 

Now Sammy ruined it. He messed up and ruined everything. 

 

"Shh, Sammy. It's okay. Daddy promises that nothing is wrong with you, okay?"

 

Sammy doesn't believe him, so he just buries his face in his daddy's neck. 

 

"Umm, Sammy?" Dee says in a tiny, sad voice. Sammy feels a little tug on his pants. When he looks down, he sees Dee standing there. He looks very alarmed. Sammy wriggles out of his daddy’s arms to the floor, sitting back on his feet. 

 

Dean carefully crawls to him, sort of climbing into his lap. It makes Sammy nervous, this whole thing does, so he starts chewing on his finger. 

 

"No be sad, Sammy,” Dean begs. “I stiww wuv you! Bein' big coow too!"

 

Sniffling and rubbing his eyes with a fist, Sammy asks, "Reawwy?"

 

"Reawwy!" Dee smiles up at him. Then he pushes off of Sammy’s lap and starts toward his toys. "Come pway!"

 

Sammy crawls over to the dolly house next to Dean. Dean hands him a dolly with pretty yellow hair and a soft dress. Sammy loves it! 

 

And he loves loves loves Dee!

 

Unable to stop himself, Sammy throws his arms around Dean and squeezes him. "Wuv you, Dee!"

 

Dee whines and pushes him away for some reason, but he's still smiling. "Wuv you too, Sammy."

 

Sammy's bottom lip trembles. "No hugs?"

 

Dee squirms, eyes moving away from Sammy and over to his daddy. When he looks at Sammy again, he looks sad. "You jus' so big, Sammy! Hugs huwted me."

 

Sammy begins to cry again, and Dee waves his hands in the air. "No, no be sad! We stiww hugs. Jus' - umms," Dee pauses, looking like he's thinking really hard. Then he smiles at Sammy. "I jus' hug you! I too smaww to huwt you, so you be safe!"

 

Nodding in excitement, Sammy opens his arms. He wants to try this right now. If he can't hug Dee, he'll be sad forever and ever!

 

Dee crawls into Sammy's lap and wraps his arms around him, burying his tiny face in Sammy's chest. Sammy's daddy kneels down and helps Sammy by placing one hand on Dee's bum and the other on his back. 

 

"Gentle Sammy. If you want to squeeze because you're really happy or excited or just love him so much, pat his bum instead. But gentle!”

 

Doing as told, Sammy gently pats Dee's bum. It makes Dee giggle but he also hugs Sammy harder, so Sammy thinks it's a good kind of giggle. He pats Dee again and again and again. 

 

"Wuv you Dee!"

 

 

 

Beautiful art done by a friend of mine that wishes to stay anonymous on here <3 Aren't they just ADORABLE?

 

 

"Wuv you Sammy!" 

 

Chapter Text

When Sam wakes up the next day still 6’4 and 220 pounds, Gabriel starts to worry. He tries to keep himself calm. Some humans take longer than others to become a full nestling, and that’s totally okay. It’s healthy. 

 

But then Gabriel takes Sam out of his crib in the morning with the intention of changing his diaper, and he starts to realize that Sam’s mind is regressed almost completely, even though his body has barely changed. He immediately starts to babble at Gabriel, his big hands doing grabby motions at him. 

 

“Dada dada!” Sam chirps excitedly, big legs kicking as he’s carried to the spot Gabriel changes him. “Dada dada!”

 

“Hey, Sammy! Good morning!”

 

Instead of telling him good morning or saying hello, Sam just says, “Dada dada!” again. Then he jams as much of his fist into his mouth as he can and begins to gnaw on it. When Gabriel gently pulls the hand out of Sam’s mouth to keep Sam from hurting it, Sam grumbles and puts it straight into his mouth again. 

 

“Sammy, no!” 

 

Sam’s eyes widen and he starts to gasp in breaths. His bottom lip wobbles. 

 

“Oh, baby. Don’t cry! It’s okay, don’t cry.”

 

There are two more sniffles and a single tear falling down Sam’s right cheek, then he’s throwing his head back and wailing. Gabriel scrubs a rough hand down his face, already feeling a headache form. “Sammy, buddy. It’s okay. I’ll get you a paci! I just didn’t want you to hurt your hand.”

 

“Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!” Sam continues. His hands ball up into fists and his legs lift in the air, beginning to kick out. “Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

 

“Shhh! Shhh!” Gabriel jumps to his feet, frantically searching for a pacifier. He swears they had like a hundred, and now he can’t find a damn one. 

 

It gets worse when he hears little feet padding down the hallway in a hurry. Dean gasps when he gets to the door, and he hurries over to his big-little brother. “Wha’s wong wiff my Sammy?”

 

“He’s okay. Just got upset.”

 

“Shhh, Sammy,” Dean whispers, placing his tiny hand on Sam’s wet cheek. He leans over and kisses Sam’s forehead. “Shhhh. Dee hewe. You is safe.”

 

Sam gasps in a few more breaths, calming slightly under his big brother’s hand. He finally stops crying altogether when Gabriel puts a pacifier in his mouth. Each suck on the paci is frantic, making his damp cheeks bounce. 

 

As Gabriel changes Sam’s diaper, Dean waddles over to Sam’s crib where he can see his stuffed puppy peeking out through two of the bars. Dean grabs one of the floppy ears and tugs until the puppy is free from the jail. He hurries back over to his brother and puts the stuffie in Sam’s arms. Sammy coos and nuzzles the puppy’s face, one of his hands reaching out to grab at Dean. 

 

The second Sam is changed and dressed, he’s on his hands and knees crawling after Dean. They book it to the living room so they can start to play together. Gabriel stays in the nursery for a moment, looking around the room in discomfort. Something’s wrong with his Sammy. He can feel it in his gut. 

 

Once he talks it over with Castiel, they make a decision. Sam will need to go to heaven for a day. He needs a doctor. 

 

----

 

When the angels begin to prepare the nestlings for the trip to heaven, Sammy isn’t so sure about it. There’s a lot of big big words they’re using around him, and Dee looks upset. His daddy keeps telling him everything is okay, which makes Sammy nervous, because of course everything is okay! He’s got his paci and his blankie and his puppy! He’s got a fresh, warm diapey! He’s got a belly full of milk! He’s got a cool new onesie on with bright colors everywhere! It makes him nervous that everyone else is so nervous. Sammy can feel all the big emotions, sensing something is wrong. But his little brain doesn’t understand what it could be! 

 

Sammy starts to understand when they do what his daddy calls “flying.” It’s a big loud SWOOOSH! followed by a yucky feeling in Sammy’s belly and head. The world spins and swirls. Colors are too bright. He starts to whine low in his throat at how uncomfortable everything is. He doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like it at all, at all, at all!! 

 

By the time the whole thing is over and they’re standing in the nestling doctor’s office, Sammy is sobbing. He shakes and whimpers in his daddy’s arms while they check in at the big desk. The lady there smiles at Sammy but she looks kind of scary and Sammy doesn’t want to be here so he just buries his face in his stuffed puppy’s belly and continues crying. 

 

At some point, Sammy is brought into a big room with lots of scary looking tools and machines. One of them beeps really loud and hurts Sammy’s ears! 

 

Sammy’s daddy strips him down to just his diapey, even though Sammy whines and squirms and cries. It’s too cold! Doesn’t his daddy understand he is so so cold!? 

 

And then his daddy puts him up on this big, tall, scary table with weird stuff under him that crinkles and scratches whenever he moves! 

 

“Dadada!” Sammy whines through his paci. “Dadadada!”

 

He puts his arms in the air and makes grabby hands, begging his daddy to pick him up. “Buddy, you need to stay there so the doctor can look at you! Don’t worry, though. Daddy will stand right here. I promise.”

 

Sammy starts to whimper under his breath, holding his puppy so tight it hurts his arms. His entire body trembles and jerks as he looks around the room again. Everything is so so scary. He doesn’t understand what’s going on. Why is he here? Why is he nakey? What is a doctor? Why does the doctor have to look at him?

 

Sammy wants to go home! 

 

He wants to go home NOW!

 

---- 

 

Dean watches his big-little brother from across the room where Dean’s sitting on his daddy’s lap. He hates this whole day. It’s the worst. Sammy looks so sad and scared! And Dean hates the doctors, so he knows how bad this is going to be. What if Sammy has to get shots?! 

 

Wiggling out of his daddy's lap, Dean scurries over to his Sammy. He has to tilt his head way back to look up at him since Dean only comes up to Sammy's ankles dangling down from the table. 

 

Dean whines low in his throat. He needs to be with his Sammy, but he can't reach! 

 

"Hey little bee, come here," Dean's daddy says, putting his arms out for Dean to enter. 

 

Stubborn and upset, Dean just crosses his arms, staying firmly in place. "Sammy!" he says as explanation. 

 

"I know, baby boy. You're worried about your Sammy, hey?" Dean sniffles and nods. "You can't sit by him right now. The doctor needs to see him."

 

Dean whimpers. Then he runs into his daddy's arms, letting loose a panicked sob. His daddy scoops him up and rocks him in a soothing motion, hushing him as he rubs big circles on Dean's back. Dean starts to calm down. 

 

Then the doctor comes in, and Sammy gets scared of the strange angel man with scary tools in his hands. Just a few seconds after Sammy begins to wail, Dean joins in. 

 

"Oh no!" the doctor man coos. "We have some upset babies. That's no good." 

 

The doctor turns to Dean and squats down so they're at eye level. He pulls out a sucker and offers it to Dean. 

 

Dean's skeptical, but he takes the green sucker anyway. Since he has the doctor's attention, Dean sniffles and takes a breath. This is his chance. He has to be brave for Sammy!

 

Giving the doctor his best angry face, Dean warns him, "You takes goods cawe of my Sammy, or ewse!"

 

"Or else, huh?" The doctor smiles. "Are you Sammy's protector?"

 

"Yes. He's my baby bwodew 'n I wuv him." 

 

"Alright then. I promise to be extra careful and gentle with your Sammy, okay? And you can stay with your daddy and watch." 

 

Dean gives him a dirty look. “No woom by Sammy?”

 

The doctor laughs softly, giving Castiel an amused look. Then he tells Dean, “I suppose we could make room by Sammy. Would you feel better if you got to sit by your Sammy, Dean?”

 

“Yes!” Dean nods vigorously. Then adds, “‘N Sammy be happy too!”

 

“I agree. Come here little guy.” The doctor takes Dean from his daddy and brings him to the examination table, setting him down beside Sammy.

 

He scoots super close to his Sammy and nuzzles his arm. Sammy looks at him with bright red eyes still full of tears, then hiccups. 

 

“Dee?” Sammy whimpers through his paci. 

 

“Is oskay, Sammy. No be scawed.” Dean takes Sammy’s blankie that had fallen off to the side and tries his best to clumsily cover his brother with it. Then he makes sure Sammy has his paci and his stuffie. Once all of those things are taken care of, Dean takes one of Sammy’s huge hands between his two small ones. His little fingers barely cover Sammy’s palm, but Dean doesn’t care! 

 

The doctor puts on some gloves and grabs one of those scary looking tools. Dean holds tighter to Sammy’s hand and bites his bottom lip. He has to be brave! This is his job as big brother! 

 

“Alright, boys. I just need to take a look at Sammy’s body. You can keep sitting just like that.” Dean and Sammy watch with wide eyes as the doctor begins his examination. When his hands touch Sammy’s skin, Sammy whimpers and squirms. “I know buddy. They feel kind of weird, hey? All rubbery.”

 

Rubbery. That word is familiar! “Wike ouw wubbew duckie?” Dean asks. 

 

“Exactly! Just like your rubber duckie.” 

 

This makes Sammy relax a little, which makes Dean relax a little. The doctor runs his hands along his arms, chest, belly, legs. His face. He pokes and massages. Dean’s smart enough to know by his face that the doctor doesn’t like what he’s seeing. He slips a thumb between his lips and scoots even closer to Sammy, nearly crawling into his lap. He just wants this to be over!

 

---- 

 

Gabriel can’t stop bouncing his knee anxiously. Every sigh or wince or confused eyebrow the doctor shows makes the knot in Gabriel’s stomach tighten. It gets even worse as the doctor begins to ask questions. 

 

“How long ago did he lose all hair besides his scalp and eyebrows?” 

 

“Two days.”

 

“Was that also when his genitals shrank and lost hair?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And I’m assuming no sexual drive since then, either? Have you noticed him getting any sort of erection?”

 

Gabriel glares at the doctor. “Are you accusing me of something? He’s a baby.”

 

“No, Gabriel. Of course not. But sometimes nestling babies can still get small erections from rubbing against their diaper or things like that. Have you noticed that?”

 

“No. Sorry.” Gabriel wipes a hand down his face. “Sorry. I haven’t noticed that.”

 

“How much grace is he drinking a day?”

 

“Four bottles. 6 ounces of grace each time.”

 

“Hmmmm.” The doctor picks up his clipboard and starts to scan it. “Would you say his mind is at the level of a toddler like Dean? Or more of an infant?”

 

“Infant.”

 

“And when did he slip into that?”

 

“Probably about two days ago, but fully yesterday.”

 

“Hmmmm.” The doctor turns back to Sam and pulls out his stethoscope. “Stay still, Sammy. This might be a little cold, okay?”

 

Sam whimpers but stays still. It helps that Dean is holding his hand tight and whispering calming things to him. That, at least, makes Gabriel smile. He’s been loving watching the brothers together. He’s so damn glad they both agreed to do this, because only one or the other going through this process would have been too hard for them. They don’t do well separated. 

 

After listening to Sam’s heart, lungs, and stomach, the doctor takes his temperature and his blood pressure again. Everything is the same as a few minutes ago. 

 

Sam is completely healthy. 

 

“Hmmmm.”

 

If this doctor ‘hmmms’ one more time, Gabriel is going to smite him. 

 

“Do you know what’s wrong with him or not, doc?”

 

“Gabriel,” Castiel warns, placing a hand on his brother’s knee. “Take a breath.”

 

“No, Cas. If this was Dean you’d be a wreck!” 

 

“Gabe-” Castiel points at Sam, who is growing agitated. He’s close to tears again. 

 

Understanding the problem now, Gabriel immediately soothes his grace. He sends pulses of the calm grace through the bonds he and Sam share. With each thrum of the powerful substance, Gabriel can both see and feel Sam relaxing. 

 

Once he has himself under control, Gabriel takes a deep breath and asks the doctor, “Do you know what’s happening?”

 

“I do not.” The doctor gives Gabriel a guilty look, wincing. Gabriel already has a feeling he understands what that means. Sure enough, “I think you’ll need to bring him to the celestial prophets. They may be the only ones who understand what could be happening.”

 

The celestial prophets. Of course. Gabriel releases a sigh and stands up, going to his baby boy. He scoops Sam up and helps Dean get into Castiel’s arms. “Thank you, doc. We’ll take it from here.”

 

“Of course. Any time.”

 

They take off to their home immediately, landing in the living room. Gabriel steps on a block and swears under his breath. He’s not in the mood for that right now. Castiel is clearly not in the mood either, because he doesn’t even laugh or tease his brother. 

 

Sam and Dean slide out of their daddy’s holds and to the floor, crawling away to play with their toys. Gabriel is avoiding Castiel’s eyes, but that doesn’t stop Castiel from releasing a soft sigh and saying the inevitable. “We have to let the wardings down, Gabe. The prophets are all we have left.”

 

“I hate the prophets.”

 

“I’m aware.” Castiel squeezes his brother’s shoulder to comfort him. “But you love Sammy more.”

Chapter Text

Fourteen minutes after the wards are down, a messenger is sent. Gabriel has to clench his fists and grit his teeth. He and the messengers no longer see eye to eye, for obvious reasons. But he focuses on Sammy and his love for him. 

 

Surprisingly, the messenger isn’t passive aggressive or giving dirty looks. In fact, the messenger is giddy as she hurries through her formal invitation. 

 

“The celestial prophets request your family’s presence tomorrow at dawn. Bring the nestlings. They look forward to meeting them.”

 

“Okey-dokey,” Gabriel grumbles, giving a thumbs up. “Can’t wait to see them.”

 

The messenger doesn’t pick up on his sarcasm - or just doesn’t care - because her smile widens and she turns to look at the two boys playing on the floor. They’re completely oblivious to what’s happening in front of them. 

 

“They are absolutely beautiful,” the messenger whispers. “I wish I could see their true forms.”

 

For the first time in centuries, Gabriel agrees with the messenger. He wishes he could see them too. Part of him is terrified that Sam’s is damaged in some way. That his boy will never grow into what they planned. 

 

Remembering that she has a job, the messenger straightens up and gives the two angels a smile. “Tomorrow at dawn. Both boys, as well as the two of you. Thank you.”

 

She leaves in a puff. The sound of her wings thumping in the air catches both Sam and Dean’s attention, but the boys quickly look down at their toys again. Dean rams his hot wheel car into the base of the couch. Sam shoves his stuffed puppy’s ear into his mouth and chews on it. 

 

---- 

 

Sammy whines when his daddy wakes him up early. Mr. Sun isn’t even awake yet! He tries to tell his daddy that he’s upset and wants to go back to sleep, but the words don’t come to him. He settles for crying instead, letting his paci fall out of his mouth so he can wail as loudly as possible. Sammy is super duper upset! He needs his daddy to know that!

 

When his daddy comes to pick him up, Sammy huffs and puffs, arms flailing. “No no no dadada! No!”

 

“Shhhh, little one,” Gabriel whispers as he tries to bounce and soothe the baby. “We have such a big day today! You’re going to meet some very important people!”

 

Sammy doesn’t care who he’s going to meet or what kind of day it is. He’s sleepy! He wants to sleep! 

 

His daddy ignores him, placing him on the floor and taking off his jammies. Now Sammy isn’t just sleepy, but he’s nakey and cold too! His daddy is mean. Mean mean mean!

 

Something white and fluffy is tugged onto Sammy’s body. The dress is too big and makes him feel lost. It hurts his skin. And there’s a bow on his front that’s too big, hitting him in the face if he moves wrong. 

 

Then his daddy makes it even horrible-er by tying the bottom of the dress with a ribbon! Now, Sammy’s toesies are even confined. He HATES it. 

 

He tries to rip off the layers of scratchy, ugly fabric. There’s too much of it! The lace is fragile and begins to rip. Success! Sammy gets through two more layers of lace before his daddy catches him. 

 

“No, no, no. None of that! This is your special pretty dress, Sammy! You have to wear this.” 

 

“No!” Sammy whines, his heart sinking as he watches his daddy use special glowy magic to heal the dress. “No no no no!” 

 

“I know. But you look so handsome, baby boy! My beautiful little angel.” 

 

Sammy does like hearing that… but not enough to wear this bulky dress. It makes him feel too hot and uncomfortable. He tries to scratch at the lace again, only to find his hands being grabbed by his daddy. 

 

“I was hoping to not have to do this, but you leave me with no choice, Sammy.” His daddy tugs frilly white mittens over his hands, tying the delicate pink ribbon around his wrist tight so Sammy can’t get them off. Sammy begins to shriek and sob as he helplessly bats his hands at his dress. 

 

“No! No!” the baby screams at the top of his lungs, legs kicking out hard enough to bruise himself. He cries and cries and cries until he can’t breathe - then cries some more. 

 

When Dee comes rushing into the room, things just get worse. 

 

Dee is wearing a cool pink tutu and a dino shirt! Why does Dee get to wear that, and Sammy has to wear this terrible scratchy outfit? Dee doesn’t have any mittens! 

 

Sammy is so so so upset! 

 

 

 

By the time they’re all ready to fly to the prophets, Sammy is sucking in raspy breaths and hiccuping. He has given into the fact that he’s trapped in this terrible dress that makes him feel bad bad bad! The mittens are awful and make his fingers sweaty and uncomfortable. 

 

And what’s worse?! His daddy put something on his head! It’s white and frilly just like everything else, covering Sammy’s pretty pretty hair, and there’s a string that’s tied right under Sammy’s chin that the baby hates!

 

Dean is still in his tutu and dino shirt, and Sammy is angry about that. He’s angry about everything! He hates hates hates ha- oh! 

 

Sammy immediately stops crying, his soft pink lips forming a little ‘O’ as his daddy slips a plastic nipple into the opening of his mouth. He sucks at the warm bottle vigorously. The milk, along with the grace, soothes him. Then it’s just a few seconds and the baby is fast asleep. 

 

---- 

 

When the four arrive to the palace of the prophets, they’re taken aback by their reception. There are thousands of angels lined up, just waiting to get a glimpse of the new nestlings. God hasn’t allowed nestlings in centuries! And the Winchesters? God’s favorites? They’ll be something extraordinary, the angels just know it. 

 

They explain that Sammy’s demon blood is keeping him from de-aging, but it’s not affecting his soul at all. The grace is winning that battle, which is why he’s still mentally regressing. The soul is all that matters, so Gabriel feels overwhelming relief. 

 

Then they’re told something even more surprising. Because of the demon blood, Sam will be the most powerful angel in existence. Like a nephilim, but even higher - something that’s never existed before. 

 

Sam is a miracle baby - not tainted or a freak. He is to be celebrated. Cherished. A once in a lifetime beautiful angel boy that they shall protect at all costs. 

 

The prophets can see the two boys’ true forms and assure them that they’ll be growing into the two most powerful angels - Dean’s strong bond with his brother giving him nearly equal power. 

 

Gabriel never thought he’d say it, but he’s never been so glad to see the prophets and their messengers. 

 

---- 

 

There are a lot of big big words being used, but so many of them are good and happy! The strange looking angels are saying that Sammy is going to be okay! That he’s special! Dean always knew his Sammy was special. He never doubted his beautiful baby brother. Even now, stuck in that silly big body, Sammy is perfect to Dean. Dean just loves him so much! 

 

Dean doesn’t remember much from before his daddy took him as a nestling, but he remembers a lot of sadness and pain for Sammy. He knows in his belly that Sammy didn’t have it easy. Part of him thinks Sammy didn’t like being Sammy. To hear that everyone is going to keep his brother super safe and treat him well makes Dean feel so much better. 

 

He can’t stop beaming as the angels keep talking about his Sammy. They use terms like ‘miracle’ and ‘beautiful’ and ‘celebrated’, and Dean is just so proud! That’s his Sammy! All these people love his Sammy extra much, which is perfect, because Dean thinks his Sammy deserves all the big whole loves in the world! Dean can barely contain himself he’s so happy! 

 

---- 

 

Sammy is being poked and prodded. People coo and hum and smile at him. They stroke his long hair through the bonnet. Give him gentle kisses on his forehead and cheeks. 

 

Everyone is smiling. Sammy has no idea what’s happening at all, but everyone is smiling, so he smiles too! When he’s placed in a nice little thing that reminds him of his crib, Sammy hums happily and starts to babble to himself. All the big people keep talking about stuff that’s boring and confusing to Sammy. All Sammy cares about is that the ribbon at the bottom of his dress has come loose. He has access to his bare toes! 

 

Giggling in excitement, Sammy brings his knees up to his chest and grabs at his toesies. He tugs at each one before pulling one foot to his mouth and sucking on his big toe. It reminds him of drinking bottles. He’s not sure when he got a bottle, but if feels like a long long time ago. Sammy’s belly grumbles in agreement. 

 

Sammy decides he’ll give his daddy a little more time to be a boring grown up, since he’s so happy playing with his toes! But his daddy better be ready - because pretty soon Sammy is gonna want a bottle, and he’s gonna cry and cry and cry until he gets one! 

 

Something is put in Sammy’s hand by one of the big grown-ups that keeps smiling at him. He goes cross-eyed trying to look at the thing. It’s bright, and full of pretty colors! Sammy holds tight to the handle in his hand and brings the pretty thing to his mouth - his new way of deciding if he likes something or not. It doesn’t matter, though! Before Sammy can get it to his lips, the pretty thing is making noises! 

 

Excited, Sammy starts to shake the toy through the air. The noises get louder! He stops moving, holding his breath. The noises stop! Then he shakes shakes shakes again. The noises are back! Sammy lets out a high pitched squeal of delight and starts to giggle, shaking the toy so hard his arm starts to hurt. When he needs a break, he brings it to his mouth to gnaw on it. 

 

“Whatcha got, Sammy?” Dee asks, getting up on his tiptoes to try and see Sammy’s new toy. Sammy’s daddy scops Dee up so he can see into his brother’s bassinet. “Oh, coow! Yous gots a wattle!” 

 

“Wa!” Sammy says, mimicking the word his big brother used for his new toy. “Wa! Wa!”

 

Dee giggles at his silly brother, then shyly asks, “Can I twy?”

 

Sammy holds the toy close to himself for a second, staring at Dee’s hand that’s reaching out for it. Then he very slowly offers the rattle to Dee. Dee takes it with a huge smile and begins to shake the rattle fast and hard. The sounds are so pretty to listen to! And when Dee shakes it like that, all Sammy can see is a blur of colors! 

 

Dee starts playing a game with Sammy. He shakes the rattle closer and closer to Sammy before poking him in the belly. Then he pulls away and does it again. Every time the rattle pokes him, Sammy laughs and laughs and laughs. 

 

Neither boy notices that all eyes are on them. Some of the most powerful beings in the universe are standing there, completely entranced by something so simple as a toddler and a baby playing with a rattle. Dee and Sammy don’t care! They’re having a blast! 

 

Chapter 12

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

After bringing the boys home for lunch and a nap, Gabriel and Castiel pack them up in their van and drive through the barrier of the pocket dimension. The prophets gave them extra protection so that they can go shopping, something they thought the boys would enjoy. There’s also a grace spell that’s making it so Sam looks like an infant to anyone who sees him, letting the family go out and about without drawing any unwanted attention. 

 

The first place they bring the boys to is a store that caters completely to babies and toddlers. Dean is a bouncing ball of energy, which means he’s falling every few steps because he’s not a very stable walker yet. Castiel has to scoop him up and carry him down each aisle, nice and slow so Dean can look at everything

 

Sammy’s at least a little bit easier. He’s in a baby carrier on Gabriel’s front, his head just below Gabriel’s chin. He’s facing out at the store so he can see where they’re walking. Gabriel is using a little bit of grace to keep Sammy weightless and positioned with his legs bent in the air, almost like he’s sitting on a chair, to avoid all awkwardness while carrying him. Sammy couldn’t care less about their surroundings, though. He’s still hyper-focused on his new rattle. Gabriel’s pretty sure he might throw the damn thing away at this rate. Its constant noise feels like Chinese water torture, and every few shakes it hits Gabriel right in the face. 

 

Like promised, now that the boys have de-aged as far as their souls need them to, they get to decorate their rooms. They can also pick out toys and other little things they might want. Dean’s thrilled about this. Every few seconds, he shouts, “Daddy wook!” or “Wan’ it, wan’ it!” Gabriel just carries Sammy on his chest and pushes the cart, because Castiel has his hands full. Gabriel’s also trying to make sure he grabs all the essentials as they pass them, because Dean could obviously care less about those. Things like baby powder and diapers aren’t very exciting when you’re in a store full of toys and cool decorations. 

 

Gabriel adds baby shampoo, lavender bath oil, wipes, diapers, rash cream, baby powder, a travel changing mat, moisturizing baby lotion, calming bedtime lotion, baby combs, bath rags, and those cute character towels that have hoods. At this point, Dean has added a tub of assorted bath toys, a plastic boat for the bath, a pretend fishing kit for the bath, crayons that can be used on the bathtub walls, playdoh that is actually soap, and rainbow colored bath bombs. 

 

“We’ll probably end up potty training this one at some point soon, hey?” Castiel asks, picking Dean up for the twelth time. 

 

“Probably. We’ll come back for that stuff, though. It’ll still be awhile I think.”

 

“Okay.” Castiel’s eyebrows raise and he points to a shelf behind Gabriel. “Oh, grab that thermometer. The fancy one. Yeah. You should grab those nail clippers, too. Just in- Dean!” 

 

Gabriel looks back to see his nephew once again wiggling out of his daddy’s arms and running off. He bites back a smile, grabbing the nail clippers as Castiel chases Dean over to the next aisle. The second the cart is in reaching distance of Dean again, the boy is grabbing tiny handfuls of pacifiers off of the huge wall of them, tossing as many as he can get into the cart. As Castiel starts to argue with Dean on how many pacifiers one boy really needs, Sammy reaches the hand out that doesn’t have the rattle in it, making grabby motions at the pacifier wall. When Gabriel walks closer so Sammy can reach, the infant clamps his fist around a pacifier with a puppy on it. 

 

“Woof woof!” Sammy squeals, yanking the pacifier off the wall and shaking it in the air. “Woof woof!”

 

“You want the puppy pacifier, baby?”

 

Sammy nods. “Woof woof!”

 

Gabriel laughs, taking the pacifier and putting it in the cart. It gets lost in twenty other pacifiers, but he knows he’ll remember that one is special for Sammy. The rest he’s sure the boys will just end up sharing - keeping the supply separate is unrealistic. 

 

“Anything else you want, Sammy?” Gabriel asks, gently bouncing the baby as he lets him continue looking at the wall of pacifiers. 

 

Instead of answering, Sammy just lifts his rattle and starts playing with it again. He doesn’t care. He got his puppy pacifier! 

 

Gabriel pauses long enough to grab some pacifier safe-keeper clips, then hurries to catch up with Dean and Castiel. He watches as a bathroom stool and something called a diaper genie is added to their cart. Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and tries to tug him along faster, stumbling as he goes. Castiel gives Gabriel an exasperated look before picking Dean up again and putting him on his hip. Dean squirms and kicks. 

 

“Dadddddy,” he whines. “Dese stuffs awe bowin’!”

 

“Yes, Dean. I know.” Castiel squats down in front of the food supplies so Dean can get onto his feet. He keeps a firm hand on the boy’s waist, though, making sure he doesn’t go running off again. “But we still need to buy them, even if they’re boring. Do you want to help pick them out?” 

 

“Fine,” Dean grumbles. He inches closer to the shelf of plastic dinnerware and utensils. As he picks out multi-colored everything - bottles, sippies, plates, spoons, forks, cups - Gabriel checks out the tooth area. 

 

“Does Dean have teeth?” he asks Castiel, feeling like a terrible uncle for not knowing for sure. 

 

Without looking away from the shelf of burp rags they’re currently picking out - Dean has a dinosaur one and a princess one chosen so far - Castiel nods. “He has four. Get some teething stuff. The prophets said Sammy’s might get sore too. His body trying to figure out how to adjust to the whole big body, small age thing.”

 

“Okay.” Gabriel starts looking at different teething gels, trying to see which one is the most natural. He grabs each boy a tiny toothbrush too, as well as baby toothpaste. When Sammy makes grabby hands again, this time at a Winnie the Pooh water filled teether, Gabriel leans forward for the boy to grab it. Sammy puts it close to his face, his expression fricken adorable as he scrunches his eyebrows and narrows his eyes. After a thorough expression, he carefully puts it in his mouth, something Gabriel has noticed the boy has been doing often. He nibbles on it for a second before squealing and bouncing in his carrier, legs and free arm going, rattle shaking, as he makes it clear he loves the new teether. 

 

Gabriel takes the teether away. “Not yet, baby. We need to buy it first!”

 

Sammy immediately starts to screech, his anger building. His arms and legs kick out in a frenzy. When the tantrum doesn’t get him anything, he turns to loud wails, making it damn clear he’s not happy in the least. The rattle hits Gabriel a few more times. He has a feeling some of them were on purpose. 

 

People start to stare at them, everyone looking half-sad, half-amused as they sympathize with Gabriel. He tries to give Sammy a pacifier from the diaper bag, but that gets them nowhere. Sammy just spits it out to the floor and cries even harder. 

 

Gabriel feels a sharp tug at his pant leg. He looks down to find a very angry Dean glaring up at him. “Make him happy!” Dean demands. 

 

“I’m trying, buddy. Don’t worry about it.” Gabriel huffs a sigh, giving Castiel a look. Castiel grabs the teether that Gabriel took away from Sammy, cleaning it quickly with some grace so any store germs are gone from it. Then he hands it to Gabriel, who immediately gives it to Sammy. 

 

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Gabriel mutters to Sammy, who is now very happy as he chews away at the toy, cooing under his breath as drool drips down his chin. 

 

Dean scurries to the cart and tries climbing into it. When Castiel asks what he’s trying to do, he says, “Pooh paci!” in explanation. A minute later, he’s toddling back with one of the pacifiers he put in the cart earlier proudly clutched in his hand. He waves it in the air at his brother. “Sammy! Wook! Pooh paci match youw toy!”

 

Keeping the teether clutched in his teeth, Sammy claps his hands and wiggles in excitement. He reaches out for the pacifier with the hand not holding the rattle, but Gabriel stops him, telling Dean to go put it back in the cart. “One thing in your mouth at a time, buddy. You already have your ring and your rattle.”

 

Sammy grumbles under his breath, but doesn’t throw a tantrum this time. Dean looks a little bummed as he throws the pacifier back in the cart though, so Gabriel ruffles the toddler’s hair and assures him, “You’re such a great big brother getting Sammy that paci. Should we keep an eye out for any other Winnie The Pooh stuff?”

 

Nodding enthusiastically, Dean starts running off again. Gabriel adds a few more teethers and some drool rag and bibs into the cart before chasing his nephew and brother once again. 

 

----

 

There is just so so much to buy! Dean can’t contain himself. This is the bestest day ever! His Uncle Gabe and Daddy are buying all sorts of silly, boring stuff, but that’s okay. Dean doesn’t care about that. He’s just focused on the fun stuff! Every time he sees something he wants, he grabs it and throws it in the cart. And the best part!?! Daddy and Uncle Gabe don’t ever stop him! They don’t say the worstest word ‘no’ at all! It’s all yes yes yes!

 

And now everything is even better because they left all the boring things behind! He got to pick out a super-duper cool big boy bed with dinosaur sheets, pillows, and blankets. Daddy let him get a dinosaur bean-bag chair to go next to a dinosaur shaped bookcase full of picture books Dean got to pick out all by himself! His lamp, rug, and night light are all dinosaurs too! 

 

Dinosaurs EVERYWHERE!

 

They had Winnie the Pooh nursery stuff for Sammy, too! Dean had loved loved LOVED how happy it made Sammy to show him all the cool stuff, like the mobile with the characters, and the bumble bee and honey pot sheets, and the pretty bedding that felt soft against Dean’s cheek - because of course Dean checked, he had to make extra sure the blankets would be nice for his baby brother! 

 

Each of them got to pick out a special blanky too! Dean picked out a green one that is super warm and fuzzy, and has nice pretty silk along the edges. Sammy grabbed a light yellow one and immediately cuddled it, letting them know that was his choice. 

 

Then? 

 

Then the BEST part happened. 

 

They got to pick out toys!

 

SO. MANY. TOYS. 

 

His daddy and uncle gave him and Sammy a WHOLE cart of JUST TOYS!

 

Dean got a play kitchen with lots of food and pots and pans, a rainbow toolbox that sings songs, a mini-drum set, a big fire truck, lots of little plastic dinosaurs - but not too little, because daddy said that Sammy could choke otherwise - a little baby dollie with a doctor kit and bottle and diapers and clothes to take care of her, a rainbow steering wheel toy with a pretend key to turn that sings songs and tells him his numbers, and a super cool hot-wheels race track. 

 

Sammy got a little box with shapes on the lid and rainbow shape blocks to practice sorting them, a puppy he can pull around on a string to make sing, a few rubber vehicles, a pair of plastic keys to chew on that make cool noises, stacking cups, a rainbow xylophone, a pretend piano, a few wood shape puzzles - one with cool trucks, another with farm animals -, lots of soft cotton books, and a little spinny thingy that makes animal noises depending on what the arrow points to. 

 

It’s the best day ever!

 

EVER. 

 

However, Dean did get a little sad when he got to see how much extra stuff Sammy got. Other than the toys, they bought Sammy a play mat with dangling toys on a bar above it, a saucer seat he can bounce in, a baby swing, and a playpen. Dean whined because some of those looked cool, and Sammy is too big for all of it anyway! He’s too big for everything! Uncle Gabe says when they get home they’ll change everything to Sammy’s size using their cool magic, but that makes Dean sad too. That means they can’t share the things, because then they’ll be too big for Dean. 

 

When Dean tells his daddy he’s sad about this, his daddy lets him pick out two extra toys. TWO! He adds a choo-choo train, and a box of rubber Little People superheroes. 

 

Dean is so excited to get home and play with all his new fun toys! He’s going to take his time with each and every one, so that they feel special and loved, and then he’s going to show Sammy all of them and tell him how much he loves them! Maybe he’ll even let Sammy play with some. 

 

Maybe…

 

Sammy’s a stinky baby with drool and boogers, and he might break stuff, so Dean’s going to have to think hard about it first. 

 

“Daddy! Daddy!” Dean chants as he bounces on the balls of his feet beside the van they drove here. He’s following the new rule his daddy gave him, both hands firmly planted on the warm metal of the van to keep him safe while his daddy loads the trunk with everything they bought and his uncle puts Sammy in his carseat. “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

 

“What do you need little one?” his daddy asks, finally answering him. 

 

“Huwwy! I wanna go hooooooooome! I wanna pwaaaaaaay!”

 

“Patience, Dean.”

 

“Nooooooo!” Dean stomps his little feet, getting frustrated now. “Go home now!”

 

His daddy gives him a warning look as he lifts Dean off the ground and puts him into his carseat. Dean can tell he’s making his daddy mad by whining too much, and Sammy is starting to cry beside him which he knows bothers everyone’s ears because it bothers Dean’s ears lots, so he slips his thumb in his mouth to keep himself quiet. 

 

He just really really wishes they could hurry up! Doesn’t his daddy have wings? Why can’t they just fly home? 

 

Dean lasts two minutes - but if you ask him, it’s an eternity - before letting go of his thumb to ask, “We dewe yet?”

 

“Not yet, buddy.”

 

Tears make Dean’s vision blur and his tiny chest quakes. “But - but - but -”

 

“Dean,” Uncle Gabe says quickly, stopping him before he has a complete meltdown. “Why don’t you grab Sammy’s rattle and play with him? Can you reach it?”

 

“Uhn,” Dean grunts as he reaches his little hand out the best he can, trying to grab the rattle sticking out of the diaper bag near him. He turns his watery green eyes on his uncle and shakes his head. 

 

“That’s okay. Let me help.” Uncle Gabe shifts in his seat, grabs the rattle, and hands it to Dean. “There ya go buddy.”

 

After sniffling and wiping his eyes with the back of his fist, Dean whispers, “Thanks you.” 

 

Dean’s anxiety about the drive taking too long goes away quickly as he starts to play with his Sammy. He shakes the rattle in front of the crying baby until Sammy is smiling again, then starts to play the game from earlier where he pokes Sammy’s belly with the rattle to make him laugh. Soon, the van is full of giggles and snorts instead of sobs and wails. 

 

When they get home, Dean doesn’t even notice. It isn’t until his daddy is reaching in to unbuckle him that he realizes where they are. His daddy gives him a warm smile as he picks him up and settles Dean on his hip. “See? Not so bad. Just a quick ride.”

 

Dean rests his cheek on his daddy’s shoulder, feeling very sleepy and content. He slips his thumb into his mouth and speaks around it, agreeing, “No so ba’.” 

Notes:

Follow me @ destiel-love-forever on tumblr if you want to chat or see any of my other stuff! <3

Chapter 13

Summary:

Short but sweet <3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When Dean wakes up in his crib, it takes all but two seconds for him to realize he fell asleep without getting to play with any of his new toys! That is just completely unacceptable. Gripping the railings of his crib, Dean pulls up his tiny body so he’s standing, and begins to shout. “Daddy! Daddy daddy! I ‘wake daddy!” 

 

“I’m coming!” he hears his daddy call from the hall. Dean bounces in excitement, barely able to wait. He doesn’t know what toy he’s going to play with first! There are just so many options! 

 

Then Dean gasps as he realizes that Sammy might not have fallen asleep. His baby brother could have already gotten to play with all his toys! That’s unfair! 

 

“Daddy!”

 

“Oh calm down,” his daddy grumbles, despite the fact that he’s smiling as he enters the room. He scoops Dean up and settles him on his hip. A finger slips into his diaper, checking it, and Dean squirms uncomfortably. He doesn’t want his diapey changed! He just wants to play! 

 

When his daddy puts him on the changing table, Dean huffs and wiggles and kicks his legs out. “No no no no no no!”

 

“It’ll be fast. Super quick!”

 

“Daaddddddddyyy!” Dean cries in exasperation, trying to escape his daddy’s persistent hands. Despite his best efforts, his diaper is off a few seconds later. He brings a fist up to his eyes and rubs at them. They’re hurting like they do before he cries, but he doesn’t want to cry! He wants to be happy! He wants to play! 

 

Thankfully, his daddy is finished soon after. Dean all but jumps into his arms, little legs swinging in anticipation as they make their way to the living room. The second they’re in sight of Dean’s toy box, the boy is scrambling down his daddy’s body, stumbling when he hits the floor a little too hard for his tiny legs to keep balanced. His daddy reaches out to steady him. Then Dean’s flying across the floor, his bare feet smacking loudly against the hardwood. 

 

Getting on his tip-toes, Dean reaches into the box and grabs the first toy he can get his hands on. It’s his drum set! Dean nearly throws the drums onto the floor in excitement before rooting around to find the two orange sticks that come with it. He nearly falls face first into the box when he reaches for them, but he manages to survive the trek. 

 

Plopping down on his diapered bum, Dean fumbles with the drumsticks until they’re firmly in his hands. With a quick grin up at his daddy, Dean starts to play. 

 

He’s pretty sure he’s amazing. 

 

Like super duper amazing. 

 

---- 

 

“That is the most awful noise I’ve ever heard,” Gabriel informs Castiel, having to lean toward him to be heard over the obnoxious drum set. 

 

“It’s cute!” Castiel argues, wincing as Dean slams his sticks particularly hard for a few notes. It’s bad enough that the sound of his drumsticks against the set is loud, but add in the fact that the drum set lights up, makes sounds, and plays music, and Castiel can sort of agree with his brother. 

 

Okay. Definitely agree with his brother. 

 

The drum set may have been a mistake. Perhaps the batteries will be dying soon. 

 

Very soon. 

 

A sharp cry comes through the speaker of Sam’s baby monitor, alerting them to the fact that Dean’s musical masterpiece has woken up his little brother. Dean is completely unaware. Who knows if he could even hear Sam crying over the ruckus he’s causing. 

 

Gabriel is all too happy to escape the noise, practically lunging off the couch to retrieve his son. He finds his little Sammy sitting up in his crib, big, fat tears falling down his cheeks. The grip he has on his stuffed puppy is white-knuckle tight, one floppy ear crammed into his mouth so he can chew on it. Gabriel looks around, finding Sammy’s pacifier on the floor. It must have fallen through the bars at some point during his nap. 

 

“Come here, baby boy,” Gabriel says quietly, lifting his son out of his crib and bringing him straight to the changing table since he can feel his heavy diaper. He’s just glad that Castiel helped him pimp out Sammy’s nursery. His grace was too low from all the feedings, and there were other more important changes to make, like fixing the crib so Sammy could fit comfortably and sleep. With Castiel’s help, though, he was able to fix the changing table, the portable play area, the high chair, the swing, and the bouncer-seat - giving Sammy everything he needs, but in his own size. 

 

The second Gabriel gets a whiff of Sammy’s diaper, he’s convinced Lucifer sent the odor himself. It makes his eyes water it’s so bad. Not wanting to hurt Sammy’s feelings, Gabriel straightens out his face and works on getting Sammy out of his dirty diaper. It takes a lot of wipes, and a lot of effort because Sammy is very wiggly and wants to play, but then he has a freshly cleaned, powdered, diapered little boy. 

 

“Does that feel better?” 

 

Sammy gives him a gummy smile and claps his hands, then giggles. Gabriel takes that as a yes.

 

Picking Sammy up, letting the baby wrap his legs around his waist and arms around his neck, face buried into Gabriel’s warm neck, Gabriel admits, “I missed you, baby boy. Daddy’s so excited to play with you and your new toys!”

 

Sammy squirms in his arms until he can look Gabriel in the eyes. He touches Gabriel’s cheek with a warm hand and says, very seriously, “Mama.”

 

“Mama?” Gabriel asks, his gut twisting. Is Sammy thinking of Mary? Is Sammy wishing Gabriel was with someone so he had both a daddy and a mama? 

 

“Mama!” Sammy says more enthusiastically. When Gabriel continues to be confused, Sammy narrows his eyes at him like he’s concentrating hard. Then he firmly pokes Gabriel’s chest with his finger and states, “Mama.” 

 

“I - I’m mama?”

 

Sammy claps his hands and laughs, then hugs Gabriel nice and tight. “Mama!” 

 

“But - Sammy, I’m your daddy!”

 

Sammy laughs like he thinks Gabriel is silly. “Mama!”

 

“Can you say daddy? Dada? Say dada, Sammy!”

 

“Mama!” 

 

Gabriel throws his head back in an easy laugh. His boy is so damn cute he can barely stand it. “Alright, Sammy. You’re the boss. Mama it is.”

 

With a happy little squeal, Sammy kisses Gabriel’s neck before starting to blow raspberries against his skin. It makes Gabriel laugh again, not only because it’s silly, but because it feels strange. He turns his chin, pressing a firm kiss to the crown of Sammy’s head. “I love you, Sammy.”

 

Sammy peers up at him, spit on his chin. “Mama!”

 

---- 

 

Sammy’s life is just the best ever ever ever! He’s sitting on the fuzzy rug that feels so nice against his skin, wiggling his toes against the strands and giggling because it tickles. There’s lots of his new toys around him, but he’s not playing right now. He found a nice squishy police car that feels good to chew on. Sammy’s Dee is next to him, making cool noises as he pushes around a car on his race track. His dada is on the couch reading a boring book. His mama is getting him and Dee a snack, off in the kitchen, singing a song Sammy likes very very much. 

 

Feeling so happy and loved, Sammy sways to the tune of his mama’s song and hums along as he continues to suck on the toy in his mouth. He startles when he feels something touch his leg, looking over to see what it is. Dee is running one of his cars up and down Sammy’s leg! It feels good and makes him giggle. 

 

Dee’s eyes light up in happiness and continues playing with his car on Sammy’s leg. Sammy is so extra wow excited! His Dee is playing with him! Even though he’s a baby, and Dee sometimes makes comments that Sammy is boring, Dee is playing with him! It’s just so much fun! 

 

Sammy gurgles and giggles at the cool feeling of the tiny wheels on his legs. 

 

“Do you wike dat Sammy?” Dee asks with a big grin. 

 

Nodding enthusiastically, Sammy claps his hands and cheers. This causes Dean to reach for a second car. Then BOTH of Sammy’s legs are being used as roads! That’s just the silliest thing, and Sammy laughs and laughs and laughs. 

Notes:

Don't forget to follow me on tumblr if you haven't already @ destiel-love-forever! I love chatting and seeing everyone's stuff <3

Chapter 14

Summary:

Here's another chapter for you all! I know I'm sort of updating like crazy, but I want to do a Christmas chapter in this story & right now it's only fall (next chapter has them playing in leaves), so we're moving along at a fast pace here (;

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When it’s time for bed, the boys are unimpressed that Castiel and Gabriel still plan on putting them in separate nurseries. 

 

Sammy isn’t quite as bothered as Dean, just because he doesn’t fully understand. All Sammy knows is that he’s going to bed in his cool new crib with the pretty mobile that sings him songs, and that Dee isn’t nearby. He doesn’t like Dee being far away, but he’s distracted, so he’s not too upset about it. 

 

Dean, however, is pissed. He’s stomping his feet and throwing his stuffies and growling at Castiel. “I wan’ my Sammy!” he screams at the top of his lungs, tiny face bright red against his orange freckles. 

 

“Dean,” Castiel says in a warning voice, getting down on one knee and offering a hand to the toddler. “Come here and breathe with me. We need to calm down, and then we can talk about this, okay?”

 

“Mad!” Dean says with another foot stomp. His little fists shake from how hard he’s squeezing them at his sides. “Mad mad mad!”

 

Castiel has to bite back a laugh as his adorable boy informs him of the obvious. “Dean, baby, come see daddy. Come get a hug.”

 

“Mad.” This time, the word is sad, spoken on the edge of a sob. The second Castiel reaches forward and scoops the toddler against his chest, Dean loses it. He cries and cries against his daddy’s neck, soaking his skin as well as his shirt. By the time he calms down, he’s exhausted and unable to keep his eyes open. Sitting in his daddy’s lap, one hand clenched around the fabric of his daddy’s nice soft shirt, Dean whispers, “Tiwed.”

 

“Daddy’s tired too. Maybe we should go to bed now, hey?”

 

“I guess so.” Dean sniffles and cuddles in closer to him. “I miss my Sammy so so much.” 

 

“I know you do baby boy. I know. But the baby is sleeping right now, and babies need lots of sleep to be healthy! We want Sammy to be healthy, right?”

 

Rubbing a fist against his right eye, Dean nods lazily. “Yeah.”

 

“And you need sleep too so you can have lots of fun with Sammy and your new toys in the morning!”

 

This seems to cheer Dean up a little because the ghost of a smile makes his lips twitch. He lifts his chin so he can nuzzle against his daddy’s neck. Castiel lets him do that for a few seconds before kissing the top of his head and standing up, keeping Dean securely in his arms. He lays the boy down on his changing table and grabs Mr. Dinosaur - the one stuffie Dean hadn’t thrown during his tantrum - handing it to him before getting Dean ready for bed. 

 

Dean sucks on his thumb and stays quiet as his diaper is changed, his bum is wiped and powdered, and a new diaper is put on him. He pays attention real fast when his daddy tries putting his leg inside a pair of footie pajamas. After kicking his daddy’s hand away, Dean looks up at him with angry eyebrows and grumbles, “No wike!”

 

Castiel sighs. “Dean, you have to wear pajamas.”

 

“No wike dose ones!” the toddler says, pointing a finger at them. 

 

Castiel looks down at the pair of pajamas, not understanding what’s wrong with them. In fact, Dean’s the one who picked them out while shopping today. They’re a soft gray fleece with little orange foxes all over it, as well as a fox on the bum. Castiel thinks Dean would look downright adorable in them. 

 

“Daddy thinks these are perfect. Why don’t you try them on?”

 

“No!” Dean shakes his head and hugs Mr. Dinosaur even tighter against his chest. “Raaaaawr!”

 

“Rawwr?” Castiel asks, tilting his head in confusion. Dean just nods and makes the noise again. Then the toddler giggles like this is the funniest thing he’s ever done. “Are you a dinosaur?”

 

Giggling some more, Dean nods sheepishly and repeats, “Raaaaaaaawr!”

 

“Oh my. I suppose the dinosaur probably wants to wear his dinosaur pajamas, then, hey?”

 

This time, Dean’s nod is very enthusiastic. “Raaawwwr!”

 

Laughing softly, Castiel opens the pajama door beneath the changing table and swaps out the fox pajamas for the dinosaur pajamas. These ones are just as cute. Everything he bought for Dean is cute, especially when put on his little one. 

 

Castiel guides Dean’s chubby little legs into the dark green footie pajamas before shuffling the pajamas up Dean’s back and getting his arms through the sleeves. He blows a raspberry kiss on Dean’s tummy, just above his belly button, then zips up the pajamas as Dean falls into a fit of giggles. 

 

“Daddy!” Dean laughs. 

 

When Castiel looks at Dean, he sees that his boy is holding his Mr. Dinosaur up in the air, just a few inches from Castiel’s face. “What? Does Mr. Dinosaur need a belly kiss too?”

 

Dean’s lips vibrate from how hard he bursts out laughing, and he just gets louder once Castiel starts to blow raspberries on Mr. Dinosaur. 

 

Slightly out of breath from how hard he was laughing along with Dean, Castiel buttons the flap at the top of Dean’s pajamas to keep the zipper in place and scoops the boy up. “Alright little one. Time to read books, drink your bottle, and get some sleep. Okay?”

 

Dean gives him a sleepy little nod, looking just as exhausted as he was before the pajama ordeal. “Jus’ one book, daddy,” he whispers. “I supa tiwed.”

 

“Just one book. No problem, bug.”

 

Dean giggles under his breath and cozies up closer to his daddy. “I nots a bug, siwwy daddy!”

 

“You’re my bug. My little love bug!”

 

“Weawwy?”

 

“Really!”

 

“Is dat special?” 

 

Castiel’s heart nearly collapses at how hopeful Dean’s voice is. “Yes, Dean. Special just like you.”

 

“Wow,” the boy breathes, looking up at him with wide green eyes. “I special?”

 

“Very very special.”

 

“Wow,” Dean repeats. 

 

“Ready to read your book, love bug?”

 

Dean grins at the nickname and wiggles in joy. Then he squirms until he’s in a comfortable position and nods. “Weady!”

 

“Okay.” Castiel open the small book and takes a deep breath, then begins to read, “Llama llama red pajama reads a story with his mama…”

 

---- 

 

After Dean’s daddy turns the lights off and closes the bedroom door, Dean squirms around in his big boy bed to try and get more comfy. His daddy tucked him in - which he liked lots because he got kisses and silly belly tickles! - but then daddy actually tucked him in and Dean likes to sleep spread out, not all bundled up!

 

It's during this endeavor for comfort that Dean discovers something REALLY COOL. His pajamas glow in the dark! Right there in the dark, even though all Dean has is a little night light off in the corner, Dean can clearly see the big dino on his belly because it's glowing! 

 

Dean has to show Sammy! He just knows that Sammy will love this, which means it'll make the baby giggle and smile, and Dean's favoritest thing EVER is making his Sammy happy! 

 

But Dean has to be careful! If his daddy catches him before he reaches Sammy, he'll get in trouble and be put back to bed! 

 

Trying to be just like a ninja, Dean tucks Mr. Dinosaur into the crook of his arm and slowly crawls toward the opening in the bars at the bottom of his bed. He turns on his belly and kicks his little feet out, his heart racing as he searches for the ground. It's a little scary but he's super super brave! His toes hit the ground and he wiggles the rest of his body off the bed. 

 

Grinning so hard his paci nearly falls out, Dean tiptoes - clumsily - toward his bedroom door. His daddy left it cracked open so all he has to do is stick his arm through the space between the door and the frame and slip through. When Dean gets into the hall, he stops to look both ways, not wanting to get caught when he's SO CLOSE to his Sammy! 

 

The coast is clear, so Dean scurries across the hall and slips through the matching crack in Sammy's door. His baby brother's nursery is pretty cool - Dean helped pick out lots of the stuff since Sammy was too busy drooling all over his chewy ring and hitting uncle Gabe in the head with his rattle. Besides the night light that projects stars onto the ceiling, it's just as dark as Dean's room. Dean looks down and bounces in glee when he sees that his belly is still glowing! 

 

Dean hurries over to his brother's crib, gulping at how super big it is compared to his tiny body. What's great about the size difference, though? Dean's pretty darn sure he can squeeze through those big white bars. 

 

Carefully stuffing Mr. Dinosaur through the bars first, making sure he's safely on the mattress, Dean grabs the bars with his chubby little hands and presses his belly into the opening, trying to heave his body forward. 

 

Just as Dean's pretty sure he's going to make it, Sammy sits up in the bed with big wide eyes and squeaks around his paci, "Dee!"

 

Dean spits his paci out and slides back down the bars so he can put a finger over his mouth. "Shhhhhh! Shhh Sammy!" Dean shakes his head and does the finger thing again, hoping the baby understands. "Shhhh quiet," he whispers. 

 

Sammy tilts his head and scrunches his eyebrows, looking at Dean like he's very weird, but he stays silent. It's good enough for Dean. 

 

After two more tries and some grunting that thankfully went unnoticed by anyone listening to the baby monitor by Sammy's crib, Dean's sitting in front of Sammy. Sammy squeals in delight and wraps Dean up in a hug that hurts the little one. Not wanting to make Sammy feel bad - because it doesn't hurt that bad, and Dean is tough! - Dean just wiggles out of his hold and distracts him. 

 

"Wook Sammy!" Dean whispers, pointing at his belly. "I glowin'!" 

 

Sammy gasps before sticking his face super close to the dinosaur to get a good look at it. Then he peers up at Dean and quietly goes, "Raaawr!" 

 

Dean had never felt more proud. His baby brother is just the smartest in the whole world! 

 

"Yeah, Sammy! Good job! It's a dino. Dino's go raaawr!"

 

"Raaawwr!"

 

Dean giggles. "I wuv you Sammy."

 

This makes Sammy squeak and go to hug him again. Dean grabs one of his arms - which is nearly the size of Dean's whole body - and wraps around it like a monkey on a tree branch. This must remind Sammy of their new rule, because he stops trying to hug Dean and starts to pat his diapered rump instead. 

 

After the boys have gotten their fill of cuddles - which takes a while because they just love each other so so so much - Dean gets the bestest idea in the whole wide world! A slumber party! He grabs Mr. Dinosaur and his paci, then crawls toward Sammy until he’s right beside him. Juggling his things so he has a free hand, Dean pats his baby brother on the head and whispers, “Way down, Sammy! We sweep togedew!”

 

Sammy’s eyes go wide and the baby starts to babble excitedly as he does as told and lays down. “Shh!!” Dean reminds him. “Shhh! Gots to be quiet Sammy, oskay?”

 

Nodding to show he understands, Sammy wiggles over on his bum so there’s room for Dee between him and the railings. Then he tries to get comfortable. Except there’s a problem. Sammy can’t tuck himself in! He just can’t get his big arms to work how he needs them to! 

 

After a few more frustratingly pathetic attempts at getting his blanky over himself, Sammy starts to whine and cry. 

 

“Shh!” he hears his big brother whisper again. “Is oskay, Sammy! Shhh!” 

 

Sammy wants to tell Dee that it’s not okay, but he doesn’t know how! He doesn’t know the words. Trying to make his brother understand, Sammy lifts his blanky as much as possible and waves his angry fist in the air to show Dee the object of his frustration. Since Dee is the bestest big brother, Dee understands. 

 

“Oh, it oskay, Sammy. It oskay! I tucks you in!” Dee rolls over and kneels, setting his bum onto his heels. He carefully grabs the corners of Sammy’s super soft blanky and pulls it up to Sammy’s chin. Dee tucks the blanky in the best he can, just like Sammy loves! Then he makes sure Sammy has his puppy and his paci, and gives him a kiss on his forehead. 

 

“Sweet dweams, Sammy!” Dee whispers. 

 

Behind his paci, Sammy happily murmurs, “Dee,” before falling fast asleep. 

Notes:

Don't forget to follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever!

Chapter 15

Summary:

Enjoy my friends adorable and lovely art in this one <3

Chapter Text

Gabriel wakes up in the morning panicked. He shoots out of bed, heart racing, and jogs down the hall. Something must be wrong with Sam! He slept through the entire night. Sam hasn’t done that since he regressed. Something happened - it had to have. Something bad. What if Sam- Gabriel stops short in the doorway of Sam’s nursery, his body sagging in relief. 

 

“Oh gosh.” He stands for another minute before sneaking out of the room to get Castiel. His brother jumps awake with a small yelp when Gabriel shakes him awake. 

 

“Gabe, what in the-”

 

“You have to see how fricken adorable our kids are.”

 

With a raised eyebrow and a smile, Castiel throws his blankets back and pads behind his brother down to Sam’s nursery. Gabriel lets him walk in first and his heart skips at the sight before him. “Oh my goodness,” Castiel gushes. “Look at them!”

 

“I know!” 

 

The two of them quietly inch closer to the crib until they can get a perfect view of their boys. Sammy is asleep on his side, one arm thrown out toward the bars, the other curled tight around his stuffed puppy. His paci is still safely in his mouth, getting sucked on every once in a while. The skin of his chubby cheeks is ruddy and his long hair is curled slightly from sweat accumulated over night. Behind him, barely able to be seen because he’s so damn tiny, is Dean. The toddler is curled up with his face nearly pressed against his brother’s back. His slim arm is attempting to hold his Sammy, but all that’s accomplishing is making it stand at a near ninety-degree angle from his body, his chubby little hand keeping it up from where it’s stuck in the gap between Sam’s bicep and ribcage. Mr. Dinosaur is smooshed up against his face where Dean’s drooling on him, pacifier long gone, probably lost in the blankets that are tangled around him. 

 

“As cute as this is,” Castiel whispers, his smile slipping into a frown as he takes in their size difference. “Dean could have gotten seriously hurt in here with Sam.”

 

“I know. All it’d take is the baby to roll over.”

 

The brothers exchange a look, hating that the cute moments has to be ruined. At least they don’t have to address it right now. Since it’s morning, they can just wake Dean and Sam up and go about their day. They don’t have to give them the bad news yet. They can put it off until bedtime tonight, then break the news that the boys can’t sleep together like this anymore. 

 

Both Gabriel and Castiel wince at the thought of that. There’s definitely going to be some serious bribing involved, because the boys are going to cry, and the angel’s are both suckers when it comes to their sad babies. 

 

Let the day of spoiled boys begin. 

 

----

 

It’s a gorgeous day - one of those warm fall days where the air is crisp and fresh, but the sun is warm enough where you can still be comfortable outside. Castiel dresses Dean up - okay, correction, Dean picks out his own outfit because he’s a ‘big boy’ and mostly dresses himself, only needing help with the buttons. He looks adorable in his red, black, and blue checked flannel, with a navy blue bubble vest over it, a pair of dark jeans with the cuff at the bottom rolled (that was Castiel’s doing, because they’re just a bit too long for Dean’s stubby little bowlegs), and brown worker boots. Dean grumbles at him when Castiel insists on a hat, but he gives in soon after because he’s too impatient to go outside and play. Sammy is dressed in a cream-colored knitted romper that’s lined with warm fleece and has an attached hood. His big feet are in fuzzy socks and a pair of moccasin booties. He doesn’t care at all what he’s wearing, and doesn’t argue when his daddy pulls on a fuzzy hat with little bear ears on the top over his head. All he cares about is that his daddy gave him his teething ring, and it’s feeling really good to chew and suck on it. 

 

The second he’s outside, Dean is flying across the yard and letting loose a loud cheer. Castiel has to go running after him to catch the boy before he can climb the ladder on the playset they set up. It’s a small ladder - and a small playset as a whole - but it would still hurt the little guy if he fell off trying to clamber up it. 

 

“Daddy, I gots it!” Dean whines, squirming until Castiel’s hands are off him. He decides to let Dean have a bit of freedom, stepping back but staying nearby so he’s there to catch the boy if he falls. 

 

He doesn’t fall, though. With extreme concentration, and his little tongue sticking out of his mouth, Dean uses his chubby little hands and clumsy feet to climb the three rungs of the plastic ladder. Then he’s up on the little platform in between the yellow ladder and the pink slide. It takes him a few seconds to situate himself so he’s on his bum, and then he’s looking over his shoulder to grin at Castiel. “Wook at me, daddy!”

 

“I know! You’re such a big boy!” Castiel says with a shaky smile, feeling himself choke up. He needs to get it together. All Dean did was climb a ladder by himself, but Castiel is so damn proud he can barely breathe. 

 

“Catch me, daddy!”

 

“Okay, one second!” Castiel hurries around the little playset and crouches down in front of the slide, putting his arms out to catch the boy. He sees a sudden apprehension in Dean’s eyes as the boy slips a thumb into his mouth. Those little eyebrows of his curl inward as he stares at what must seem like a very steep slide from where he’s at. “Dean baby?”

 

Dean startles like he forgot his daddy was here, then looks at Castiel with wide green eyes. “Yuh?” he asks around his thumb. 

 

“Daddy is right here. I promise nothing bad will happen to you. Daddy will catch you.” Castiel watches Dean take a shaky breath and slowly remove his thumb from his mouth. To add some extra reassurance, Castiel says softly, “It’s gonna be fun, buddy! Daddy can’t wait to catch you!”

 

This makes Dean smile, his tiny body relaxing. He places his hands on each side of his bum and pushes off, sending himself down the slide. The second he starts moving, high pitched, joyful giggles pierce through the air. It’s the sound of Castiel’s dreams. If he gets a little teary eyed, it’s because of the wind. 

 

If anyone asks, it’s definitely because of the wind. 

 

While Castiel is helping Dean get on his feet so he can do the whole thing again, Gabriel is off a few feet away with the baby. They’re sitting together on a spread out fleece blanket in the grass. Sammy's legs are spread wide, a small pile of leaves in between them. Every minute or so, Gabriel has to stop the baby from stuffing a leaf in his mouth, giving him his teething ring with a firm 'no.' 

 

Pretty soon, Gabriel realizes this isn't going to work. He distracts Sammy from trying to eat the pretty colored crunchy leaves by playing a game with them instead. Gabriel collects them in his big hands and lifts them over Sammy's head, making the baby have to tilt his chin and stare up at them. He pretends like he's going to drop them a few times - each sending Sammy into a squealing laughter - before finally parting his hands and letting the leaves fall. As the red, orange, and yellows rain down on Sammy, the baby coos and awws in amazement. Once they're all on the ground, or stuck in Sammy's hair, the baby claps his big hands loudly and chirps, "Geh!" which Gabriel is 90% sure means 'again.'

 

They play this game until Dean gets bored of the playset and comes toddling over to investigate. Dean thinks this game is sort of boring, so he gives his daddy and uncle the biggest puppy dog eyes he can muster and asks if they can make a big pile to jump in. 

 

As always, Gabriel and Castiel give in. Sammy just tips himself onto his back and grabs his foot, bringing the soft bootie toward his face so he can investigate the zipper on it. Dean's a big helper, though, so he uses a mini rake to get some leaves in the big pile his daddy and uncle are making.  

 

Dean doesn't know how they'd do it without him. He's clearly an expert raker. They might be getting more leaves than him, but it's quality over quantity, and Dean's leaves are extra beautiful. So beautiful, in fact, that he takes one of the golden pretty ones and slips it into his vest pocket to keep. 

 

When the pile is ready, Gabriel sets Sammy on it, toward the edge so Dean has plenty of room to jump and spin. Dean makes a complete mess of the pile, sending leaves everywhere. He makes sure to take time to throw some handfuls in the air every minute or two, because he loves how it makes Sammy giggle and clap. When Dean is busy entertaining himself, Sammy settles for making his hands super big by spreading his fingers out, and slapping the pile with his palms. He's fascinated with the crunch crunch of the pretty leaves.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By the time Castiel and Gabriel say it's time to go inside, the boys are both so exhausted they can't even argue. Sammy is already yawning as Gabriel scoops him up and cradles him in his arms, and Dean is too tired to walk, making little grabby hands for his daddy to carry him. Both angels spend a full minute picking leaves out of their child's hair and clothes. Then Castiel is giving Dean to Gabriel to have him sit by Sammy, and is hurrying off to make the two some bottles before they fall asleep. If they go down for their nap hungry, they'll wake up soon after, and the rest of the night will be filled with cranky little boys. 

 

Castiel and Gabriel have each put some grace in a jar for moments like this, or if either needs to leave for some reason, so Castiel pours some of Gabriel's along with the specific formula Sammy needs, and mixes it with water. Then he does the same for Dean, using his own grace and Dean's formula. He grabs two burp rags and rushes back into the living room. Just in time, too. Sammy's eyes are closed - but thankfully snap open when he hears Castiel - and Dean's eyes are drooping. 

 

Gabriel trades Dean for Sammy's bottle, and both angels head off to their own boy's nursery. Sammy makes it ¾ through his bottle before passing out with his arms and legs splayed out and his mouth wide open. Dean drinks his whole bottle, manages to mumble a sleepy "wuv you" and smack a wet kiss on his daddy's cheek, and then he's out too. 

 

 

Chapter 16

Summary:

Some angel babies playing together, one enormous tantrum, and Dean being a really big helper <3

&& some beautiful art again by my anon friend <3

Notes:

Sorry for the crazy amount of updates! This fic (along with Tiny Angel) has a Christmas chapter but I mismanaged the postings and need to catch up so the Christmas chapter is actually on Christmas (;

So, enjoy <3

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

After dinner, Dean and Sammy are put on the rug in the living room to play. Sammy is given his favorite teether, his rattle, and his shape-sorter box. Since Dean is much more mobile, he gets to choose what he wants to play with. He wobbles over to their toy box on his chubby little legs and curls his fingers over the edge of it. Getting way up on his tip-toes, he peeks inside and surveys his options. He hums softly to himself as he comes to his decision. 

 

He’s going to play with his dollie! Dean pulls the baby doll out of the toy box and gently places it on the floor. Then he digs around for all of the cool stuff the baby came with! It takes some effort, and a lot of wiggling, but he eventually gets the baby’s bottle, diapers, clothes, blanket, and doctor’s kit out. 

 

By the time Dee has transferred all of these toys to his area, Sammy is bored. He does his silly scoot-crawl toward Dee so he can investigate what his big brother is doing. Whatever Dee does is always so fascinating to baby Sammy. His brother is just so smart and cool! 

 

It takes some effort, but Sammy gets himself back up to a sitting position so that he’s right next to Dee. He pulls his feet close to himself so he’s in a criss-cross-applesauce position and begins to fiddle with his toes. Dee is rocking the baby back and forth right now, singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star as he feeds it a bottle. Sammy feels jealous of the dollie. He wants to be rocked and sung to! And he definitely wants a bottle! It looks like it’s just so so yummy!

 

Sammy scoots closer to his big brother and tries to get into his lap. Since he’s so big, it’s really just his head that fits there, but that’s fine! His mouth is all he needs for a bottle!

 

“Hey!” Dee grumbles, his brother’s head knocking the dollie out of his hands. “Sammy! No!” 

 

“Ba!”

 

“Sammy, go ‘way!”

 

“Ba ba ba!” Sammy opens his mouth wide and starts to smack his lips. After a few seconds of Dee still not understand, Sammy bats a hand at the bottle Dee’s holding and says again, “Ba!”

 

Dee’s eyebrows pull in, then smooth out. He giggles so hard his little belly shakes against Sammy’s cheek. “Siwwy Sammy!! ‘Dis nots your baba! ‘Dis pretend!”

 

“Ba!” 

 

“No! Dollie’s baba!”

 

Sammy’s bottom lip curls out in a pout. “Ba?” 

 

“Sorry, Sammy.” Dean pets baby Sammy’s hair, giggling again when his brother makes an adorable cooing noise. 

 

Then he gets the best idea ever! 

 

“Daddy?! Daddy?! Uncie Gabe?! Anyone dere?”

 

He hears a soft chuckle and looks to his right to find that both his daddy and his uncle are on the couch. Woah! When did they get there? They must be magic. When Dean needed them, poof! They appeared! 

 

“What’s up, little man?” his uncle asks. 

 

“Cans I feeds Sammy his baba?”

 

“Hmmm. Not right now, but before bed, I bet Sammy would love if you fed him his nighttime baba.” 

 

Dean perks up, his cheeks pinking as he accepts this new responsibility. He lightly pats his Sammy’s cheek and says, “I gives you baba at nigh’ nigh’ time! Gots ‘ta be patient, Sammy!”

 

Sammy looks back and forth between Dean and the two angels on the couch. “Ba?” he asks in a tiny, broken voice. 

 

“Nots yet! We pwayin’ first!” Dean wiggles his legs beneath his baby brother’s head to make his point. “Gets off ‘n I pway wiff you!” 

 

Sammy isn’t sure what exactly is happening, other than he isn’t getting his baba, but Dee is smiling, and he’s pointing over at where Sammy’s toys are, and Sammy trusts Dee enough to give it a try. Together, the two of them crawl back over to Sammy’s toys, Dee waiting patiently because Sammy doesn’t move very far very fast. 

 

When they reach their destination, both boys plop down on their diapered rumps and start to grab at toys. They decide to do the shape-sorter box together. Or, Dee decides, and Sammy just giggles and claps, because all he cares about is that Dee is playing with him! That’s just his favoritest bestest thing in the whole wide world! 

 

Dee hands Sammy a purple star, then points to its spot on the box. "Try 'n puts da staw in. Sammy."

 

After giving his brother a big smile, Sammy shoves the corner of his new chew toy into his mouth and begins to suck on it. It's perfect! He likes the way the smooth surface feels on his tongue, and the little clicking noises his teeth make against the hard object are fun! 

 

Sammy startles at the sound of Dee's loud giggle, looking down at his big brother with wide eyes. His knuckles are white from where they cling to the toy, and spit is starting to dribble down his chin. Dee giggles again. 

 

"Sammy, you no eats da staw! You puts it in da box!" Dee picks up a red circle and, after some stumbling and adjusting, pushes the shape through its matching slot on the cover of the box. "See? Wike dat!" 

 

Leaving his toy between his teeth, Sammy takes his spit covered hand and slaps it against his clean hand, clapping in excitement at the cool trick Dee just did. He made the pretty toy disappear! Dee is just the smartest! And the coolest! 

 

Dee just laughs again, which makes Sammy laugh. 

 

"Oskay Sammy. You jus' do's dat. Me does da box all by mee-self!" 

 

Wow! All by himself? Sammy claps his hands together again, just amazed at how big and brave his brother is! When he grows up, he wants to be just like Dee! 

 

But not right now… because right now, Dee is doing something boring, and Sammy is really enjoying chewing on his toy!

 

---- 

 

Dean lays on his back and plays with Mr. Dinosaur as his daddy changes his diaper. He's deep in thought about the big questions in life, his tiny brain filled to the brim with all of the great wonders of the world. 

 

As his daddy secures the tabs of his fresh diaper, Dean looks away from Mr. Dinosaur and up at him to ask one of these life-changing questions. "Daddy?"

 

"Hmm?" his daddy raises an eyebrow in question, eyes still focused on trying to get Dean's wiggly toes into his footie pjs. 

 

"Why don'ts I has a tail?" 

 

His daddy pauses what he's doing to look at Dean. "What was that, Dean?"

 

"Why don'ts I has a tail?" 

 

"Umm… well." Castiel frowns down at the pajamas in his hands. "That's - that's a good question."

 

Dean huffs. "Yeah, daddy, I knows it is. But what's da answer?"

 

"Well, I suppose the simplest explanation is because you're human, and humans don't have tails." 

 

"But why?"

 

"Why what?" 

 

"Why don'ts humans has tails?"

 

"Um.. well…" Castiel scratches his head, completely stumped. This was never anything that even crossed his mind. Humans don't have tails. God made it that way, and that was how it was. He never questioned it. "Because humans don't need tails. We have no use for them."

 

"Well, why do's Mr. Dinosaur has tail?"

 

Finally, a question Castiel can answer. He remembers the dinosaurs. Remembers their massive tails doing magnificent things. "Dinosaurs used their tails to fight off animals trying to hurt them." 

 

"Whats 'bout kitties 'n puppies?" 

 

Castiel sighs. "Well, they use tails for balance, I believe. Probably other things too. And monkeys use their tails to hang on tree branches or to climb. If I'm not mistaken, some animals can even communicate using their tails."

 

Dean's little eyebrows pull in. "What’s cah-moon-cate mean?"

 

Laughing softly, Castiel explains, "To communicate means to talk, but they do it with their tails, so without sounds. Kind of like when we wave hello or bye-bye!" 

 

"Oh! Oskay! So, ouw hands be wike ouw tails!"

 

"I suppose so, yeah buddy. You're so smart."

 

This makes Dean giggle and blush, hiding his face with Mr. Dinosaur. Castiel takes the opportunity to get his wiggly boy into the soft, blue, panda bear pajamas they agreed on for the night. Then he remembers that he has something to do before bed. Something that's likely to lead to a tantrum. 

 

"Dean, buddy, can we talk a minute?" 

 

"Sure," Dean says with a cute little shrug. He rolls onto his belly and crawls over to his dirty clothes from the day. Castiel stays quiet, watching Dean as he pulls something out of his pocket. Once Dean has the object, which turned out to be a fallen leaf, in his hand, he carefully pushes to his feet and wobbles his way to his daddy. With bright pink cheeks, he presents the crushed, dead leaf. "I… ummms… I gots dat fo'you, daddy."

 

Castiel gasps, his heart soaring. "For me? Really?" 

 

"Yeah! 'S a pwesent!"

 

"Oh, baby boy, I absolutely love it. Thank you so so much." Castiel scoops Dean up, careful not to hurt the leaf, and peppers his face with kisses. “Did you get this when we were outside?”

 

“Mmmmmmhm!” Dean blushes again. “It wooked spessal. Wike you, daddy!” 

 

“I think you’re the one that’s pretty special, little one.”

 

Clearly embarrassed, Dean tucks his face back in his daddy’s neck and asks, “What’s ya wanna talks ‘bout?”

 

Castiel’s stomach twists. Of course, right after his little boy just melted his heart, Castiel’s going to break his. “Dean, buddy, Uncle Gabe and I talked today, and we think it’s best if you and Sammy don’t ever sleep together in his crib, okay?”

 

Dean rears back, looking at Castiel like he’s been betrayed. “But… but… why?”

 

“You’re just so little, baby. If Sammy were to roll over or move at all, he’d hurt you.”

 

“No! Sammy neva’ huwt me!” 

 

“Remember when he hugged you too tight? That hurt you, Dean. It’s okay. It’s not Sammy’s fault, and he doesn’t mean to hurt you, but it’s safer if you guys sleep in your own rooms.”

 

“Buts… buts… I be a big boy, daddy! I knows I can be safe! I jus’ knows it. I be oskay!”

 

Castiel frowns. “Oh, Dean, honey. I know you’re a big boy. So brave. But Sammy is too big. His body is so big compared to his small mind, and he wouldn’t have any idea what he’s doing. It would be an accident, and then you’d get hurt, and you wouldn’t be able to play anymore or cuddle with Sammy anymore.”

 

Dean sniffles, one fat tear rolling down his chubby cheek. “S - Sammy gonnas be so so sad, daddy!”

 

This makes Castiel smile. Of course Dean would focus on Sammy. Same as before. Always the big brother. “Sammy is gonna be sad, Dean. That’s why you have to be a big boy and show him that it’s okay to not sleep together. It’s no big deal! Just a few hours, right? Then you get to spend all day together.”

 

Things turn around quickly when Dean takes a deep breath and decides to be stubborn. “No! I sweep wiff Sammy, or I no sweep at all!” 

 

“Dean-”

 

“No! No no no no no!” Dean gets off his lap and lunges forward, stumbling a few steps before he breaks into a pretty impressive run for his small legs. He screams as he goes, “No! No! No! No!”

 

“What’s going on?” Uncle Gabriel asks Dean when Dean runs into Sammy’s nursery. Sammy is currently laying on his back in the center of the floor, chewing on his big toe as Uncle Gabriel picks out some pajamas for him. 

 

Dean flops down beside his baby brother and wraps his entire body around him, squeezing as tight as he can. The baby squeaks in surprise, but then squeals when he realizes who is on him. “Dee!” 

 

“Dee! Dee!” the baby continues in excited little chirps, one hand patting Dean’s diapered bum enthusiastically, just like his mama taught him. “Dee! Dee!”

 

“I here, Sammy! I here! We sweep togeder!” 

 

“Dee!” Sammy claps nice and hard. He has no idea what Dee is saying, but Dee sounds happy, and Dee is hugging him, so Sammy is happy.

 

Then Dee is ripped off of Sammy, held in the air as he kicks and screams. “Daddy! No! No! I no wanna sweep awone! Wanna sweep wiff Sammy!” 

 

“Dean, honey, try to calm down.”

 

“Nooooooooooooooooo!” Dean shrieks, his face turning red from the power of it. Then he falls into a fit of choked sobs that shake his entire body. 

 

Of course, Sammy begins to cry too now. He doesn’t understand what’s happening, but Dee’s upset, so he is too! He throws his head back and wails, clenched fists going in the air as he tries to get his frustrations out. He wants Dee to be happy! 

 

Dee not happy! 

 

Someone fix it now!

 

Sammy is scooped up by his mama. He’s held tight to his chest as mama presses soft kisses to his hair and forehead. It helps him calm down a little, but when he looks up to see that Dee isn’t in the room anymore, he panics again. “Dee!? Dee?!”

 

“Shhh, baby. Shhh. Dee is okay. Dee is with his daddy. He’ll be right back, okay? Just gotta get some hugs from his daddy first.”

 

Sammy understands hugs, and he likes that Dee might be getting some nice hugs like Sammy is right now, so he calms down a little. Enough at least to rest back against his daddy and suck his thumb. His daddy begins to sing a lullaby to him, and Sammy sighs in relief. 

 

Unfortunately, Castiel does not have as easy of a time calming his son down. He’s dealing with a toddler that’s still kicking and screaming, though he’s wearing down. Not because he’s less upset, but because his energy levels are too low now. 

 

“Shhh, baby. Shhh,” Castiel says for what feels like the thousandth time. “Shhh. Deep breaths.”

 

Dean is at least trying to breathe, sucking in shaky little gasps of air every few seconds. Castiel cradles Dean gently to his chest and sits down in the rocker. As he moves in the soothing motion, hoping to calm Dean down, he sings to him softly. It’s a song he’s heard Dean listen to many times before. This time, he sings it slowly, though. As if it’s an actual lullaby. 

 

“Carry on my wayward son,” he croons. “For there’ll be peace when you are done. Lay your weary head to rest. Don’t you cry no more.” 

 

There’s a clear shift in Dean as the little one relaxes against him and releases a shuddery sigh. Castiel doesn’t know the whole song, so he just sings those few lines repeatedly. He smiles when Dean starts to coo along with him. He’s no longer crying, now just releasing tiny little hiccups every once in a while. 

 

Before Dean can fall asleep, though, Castiel helps him sit up. He wipes his boy’s tears and kisses each damp cheek. “Can we talk for a minute? Can you be a good boy and just talk with daddy? No tantrums?”

 

Dean sniffles and nods. 

 

“If you slept in Sammy’s room, it’s not just about you getting hurt. You’d have to deal with a lot of gross baby stuff! The baby cries a lot, waking up all night long, and you won’t get any sleep! You’ll be so tired! And the baby gets stinky diapers, and that won’t be fun to wake up to, right? Ugh, and your room would be all smelly!”

 

Dean giggles under his breath and nods. “Dat’d be yucky, daddy.”

 

“Right? Pee-ew!” 

 

“He is pretty stinky! ‘N he does cry lots lots,” Dean agrees, looking nearly convinced.

 

“How about this? If you promise to be a good boy and not go into Sammy’s crib again without asking first, you two can have special cuddle time every night before bed.”

 

Dean perks up and smiles. “Really?”

 

“Really! This way, you get special Sammy time, but you also get to sleep in your own cool big boy room!”

 

“Oskay!”

 

“And maybe, on really special occasions, the two of you can have sleepovers, but only when me and Uncle Gabe say so, okay?”

 

Dean nods quickly, then throws his arms around his daddy’s neck. He squeezes him tight and whispers, “I love you daddy!”

 

“I love you too, little one.”

 

“Daddy?” Dean suddenly asks, pulling away and giving him a look that’s a mixture of fear and hope. 

 

“What’s wrong, love bug?”

 

Dean blushes at the nickname, then asks, “Cans I still give Sammy his baba?”

 

Castiel smiles. “You sure can! Let’s go find him! I bet he could use some nice cuddles, too!”

 

---- 

 

Once both boys are freshly diapered, dressed in pajamas, and given extra kisses to make sure they’re not sad anymore, Gabriel sits down on the couch with Sammy curled up against his chest. Dean clambors up and sits beside them, sticking his tiny little legs out and putting his hands in the air so his lap is free. Gabriel adjusts Dean’s body in the position that will work best for this and adds a little pillow, then very carefully guides Sammy into his arms. When the baby’s head is cradled between Dean’s upper body and elbow, his left shoulder pressed in the gap between Dean’s thighs, Gabriel asks, “Is that comfortable, buddy? Is he too heavy anywhere?”

 

“No! Sammy’s perfect!”

 

“Good.” Gabriel smiles at the two boys, his heart melting. Sammy has already reached up to grab a fistful of the front of Dean’s pajamas. He’s staring up at him with his big, watery hazel eyes. His chubby cheeks are flushed as he suckles on his fingers, patiently waiting for someone to get him his baba. 

 

That someone is Castiel. He brings the warm grace-milk bottle to Dean, handing it to the toddler after making sure he won’t drop it. Gabriel helps Dean get a good grip on the thing, deciding to hold the bottom since the boy’s hand is too little to fully support the bottle. Together, they bring the bottle to Sammy’s eagerly opened mouth, slipping the nipple between his soft lips. The baby latches immediately, releasing a sigh as he does so. 

 

“Ooooooo!” Dean squeals, wiggling his toes in excitement. 

 

Just a few seconds later, he’s squealing again. 

 

“He’s so cute!” Dean says in an exaggerated whisper. “I wuv him!” 

 

 

Gabriel and Castiel exchange a look that’s full of joy and adoration. They look back at the boys together, watching as Dean presses a kiss to Sammy’s forehead. Sammy squirms in happiness, snuffling loudly as he sucks down the last of his bottle. 

 

Sammy doesn’t know how he got so lucky! He wanted Dee to feed him his baba so so bad earlier, and now it’s happening! Wow, he’s had just the bestest day ever! Playing outside, eating his toes, seeing the pretty leaves! A great nap! Playing with Dean! And now this! A nice warm baba, cuddles with his big brother, and even special kisses on his forehead! 

 

Dean’s feeling just as lucky. He was upset about the whole not sharing a bed thing, and he admits it still makes him a little nervous and sad to spend all night away from Sammy, but his daddy is right. It’s best if they stay in their own rooms. That way, Dean will be all nice and rested to help take care of his baby brother in the morning! And to play, which is always very important! 

 

Plus, he can’t make Mr. Dinosaur sleep with a noisy, smelly baby! That’d be mean! 

 

Dean looks down at his baby brother again, giggling under his breath when he sees the mess the baby is making. There’s milk dripping down his chin and pooling in the corners of his mouth. When the baby notices Dean is looking at him, he makes a happy little sound and pats Dean’s chest with his big hand. 

 

“I wuv you, Sammy!” Dean whispers, ducking his head to make sure it’s just his baby brother that hears this super special secret. “I takes care of you foweva ‘n eva.” 

 

Sammy releases the latch on his baba with just a few sips left and coos, “Oooo!” 

 

Dean thinks that’s good enough! He brings the nipple back to his Sammy’s mouth and smiles. “Finish your baba, Sammy! I hungwy, too!” 

 

Sammy listens, falling asleep the second his bottle is empty. Uncle Gabriel scoops Sammy up, letting Dean give the baby a final kiss, and carries him away. Before Dean can even look around for his daddy, he’s being picked up too. He rests his cheek against his daddy’s shoulder and brings a fist up to rub sleepily at his eyes. They’re feeling watery and itchy, and he’s not sure he has much left in him. He’s pretty tired. Taking care of Sammy is hard work!

 

Dean sighs in relief when his daddy sits down in his nursery’s rocker and puts his own bottle to his lips. Each blink is slower than the last. He’s not even sure if he finishes the bottle. Who cares? If he gets hungry later, he’ll cry for daddy. Right now, he’s content to just sleep. 

Notes:

Follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever if you'd like!

Chapter 17

Summary:

The Christmas chapter is here! It's late, but very long, so hopefully ya'll forgive me <3

Once again, there's art from my beautifully talent, amazing friend who wishes to stay anonymous - && since it's a special chapter, I colored it for you as well (:

Enjoy!

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Castiel and Gabriel want to go all out for their nestlings’ first Christmas. The whole works. They compile traditions from all over the world and buy enough decorations to put the north pole to shame. The tree they purchase is perfect, 7 feet so it fits in the corner of the living room, round and fluffy, all the branches intact and going in the correct direction. 

 

When they wake the boys up, they’re practically vibrating with excitement. Gabriel is smiling so wide that Sammy gives him a strange look before tentatively smiling back. Even as a baby he can tell something is crazy about his mama today. 

 

“Guess what day it is Sammy?!” Gabriel coos, lifting his big baby out of his crib and putting him on the oversized changing table. Sam gurgles something around his pacifier, his brown eyes big and watery from just waking up. “It’s Christmas Eve!” 

 

Even though it’s obvious Sam has no idea what that means, he must pick up on the excitement in Gabriel’s voice because he cheers and claps his big hands. The baby gets much more excited when he starts seeing evidence of this thing called Christmas Eve. The moment his eyes fall on the cool outfit Gabriel bought him, the baby’s legs are going crazy and he’s making grabby hands in its direction. 

 

“Do you like your outfit, Sammy?” Gabriel asks with a grin. 

 

Sammy, still with his pacifier in his mouth, starts babbling and wiggling so he can get closer to it. The baby nearly squirms right off the changing table he wants the outfit so bad. Gabriel supposes he can’t blame him. Who wouldn’t want to wear a kick ass sweater vest with rudolph on the front, his red nose bright as it glows with a tiny speck of Gabriel’s grace? 

 

Just as Gabriel finishes getting his baby boy in the cute outfit, laughing as Sammy repeatedly pokes at the red nose on his belly in fascination, Dean comes sprinting into the room - as fast as a slightly wobbly toddler can run - his arms in the air, screeching at the top of his lungs. It takes Gabriel a second to figure out what the boy is yelling. It’s a very long, drawn out, “Christmas!” 

 

When Dean realizes his outfit matches Sammy’s, the excited yelling just gets louder. “Sammy! Sammy! It Quismas! It Quismas!”

 

“Dee!” Sammy squeals back, sitting up and spitting his pacifier out. He bounces on his bum in excitement and claps. “Dee! Dee!” 

 

“Come on, come on!” Dean yells in an impatient voice. It takes a second for Gabriel to realize it’s him Dean is talking to. 

 

“What do you need buddy?”

 

Dean rolls his eyes very dramatically. “Sammy down! We go pway!”

 

Understanding now, Gabriel picks Sammy up and places the baby on the floor. Dean immediately begins exiting the room, pausing every few seconds to wait for Sammy to catch up. Gabriel and Castiel hurry to follow along so they can see the boys’ reactions to the big tree and the boxes of decorations piled around it. 

 

The boys don’t disappoint. 

 

Sammy makes a beeline for the thing, trying to reach for it. Every few crawls he pauses and reaches his hand out to make a grabby hand at the tree. Then an adorable pout falls on his face as he realizes he’s not close enough and begins to crawl again. 

 

Dean, of course, is ten steps ahead of Sammy and he’s already moved on from inspecting the tree. Dean’s focus now is a big box of tinsel. He already has the thing open, which makes Gabriel and Castiel exchange a look that says ‘oh boy, he’s going to be trouble.’ Red and green tinsel goes flying through the air as Dean quickly empties the box and moves on to the next. Sammy is distracted from his quest towards the tree - which is understandable, considering he now has a piece of tinsel hanging off of his head from where his brother had carelessly thrown it. 

 

With huge, curious eyes Sammy just stares at the thing that’s falling from his hair into his face. It’s touching just the tip of his nose before falling the rest of the way down and pooling in his lap. Very tentatively, the baby reaches a hand and touches the tinsel right in front of his eyes. When he realizes it’s nothing to be afraid of - it’s actually really soft and it shimmers under the lights! - he’s immediately tugging at it until it falls into his lap. Then he’s grabbing two fistfuls of the tinsel and shaking it in the air, squealing in delight. 

 

Dean is elbow deep in a third box now. String lights are all over the floor, so he must have already dumped that box out. 

 

“Be careful with those, Dean,” Castiel says softly, approaching his son and placing a hand on his head to get his attention. When Dean looks up at him with his big green eyes, Castiel explains, “These are ornaments. They can break so we have to be very careful. No throwing them around, okay?”

 

Eyes even wider now, Dean quickly nods his head and takes his hands out of the box. After spending a few seconds thinking and sucking on his thumb, Dean asks, “Wha’ we do wiff or’mens?” 

 

“We put them on the tree! First we do the pretty tinsel, and then the lights. Then we put ornaments on all the branches to decorate it!”

 

Dean looks at the things he threw around the living room. He crawls over to a string of lights and asks, “Wha’ dis?”

 

“That’s the lights!”

 

Dean shakes his head, looking at his daddy like he’s crazy. “Li’s gwo, daddy. Dese no gwo.” 

 

“You’re right, lights do glow. When we plug these in after they’re on the tree then they’ll glow with pretty colors.”

 

“Wow!” he says on a shocked breath. Then he grabs a handful of tinsel and asks again, “Wha’ dis?”

 

“That’s the tinsel! We wrap that around the tree just like the lights to make it look pretty!”

 

“Pwitty,” Dean repeats, bringing the tinsel up to his face to inspect it. Then he very carefully wraps it around his neck like a loose scarf. He looks up at Castiel through his eyelashes and sways side to side, cheeks pink. “Do I wook pwitty daddy?” he asks shyly. 

 

Castiel’s heart bursts out of his chest. “The prettiest.” 

 

 

----  

 

 

Sammy is lying on his back, his knees drawn up and his feet twitching as he inspects the string of lights in his hands. He’s not sure what they are but when his mama put them into the wall, they suddenly got BRIGHT! And so so pretty! Sammy loves shaking them in his hands and watching the way the pretty lights bounce all over. It’s like he’s holding Mr. Sun in his own little hands!

 

He tries bringing a pink bulb to his mouth but the thing ends up bouncing off his paci that he forgot his mama put there. Sammy had been chewing on too many things that his mama said would give him a boo boo, so mama put his paci in instead. Sammy grunts in protest because he really thinks this pretty pink bulb would taste so so so good. 

 

Trying to get his paci out of his mouth and the light in its place is lots of work! Sammy somehow ends up on his belly with the lights wrapped all around him! They’re kind of tight… and he doesn’t like the pretty pink lights anymore… at all! This is not nice! This is not a nice hug right now! 

 

Grunting and whining, Sammy tries his best to get away from the clingy lights. He’s stuck! Oh no! He’s gonna be stuck in here forever and ever and ever! He’s gonna miss Mama! And Dee! And Uncle Cas!

 

Just as his chest is starting to do that tight tingly thing it does when he cries, he hears mama say, “Oh no, what did you get into?”

 

"Mama!" Sammy cries, finally managing to get his paci out of his mouth. "Mama mama mama!"

 

"Shhh, it's okay little one. Just a little tangled. No big deal!" His mama already has him in his arms, the lights back on the floor. Sammy growls at them before putting his face in his mama's neck and crying. He loved those lights and they were so mean! 

 

Dee starts yelling for him. 

 

Dee! 

 

Sammy perks up, tears drying sticky on his cheeks. He yells, "Dee!" and wiggles in his mama's arms until he's free. Then he's crawling as fast as he can towards his brother who has something very shiny and pretty in his hand. 

 

The evil string of lights are forgotten. 

 

All he cares about is his Dee! 

 

"Wook Sammy!" he hears his Dee say to him. He has something shiny shiny in his hands and when he moves it, it makes beautiful sounds. Sammy squeals happily and takes the thing. Dee calls it a bell. Sammy doesn't care. He just jingles it and jingles it, laughing each and every time. 

 

 

---- 

 

 

Dean is sitting on the edge of the counter patiently as his daddy rolls out more dough for them. They've been making cookies!!! Daddy rolls out the dough and then Dean gets to pick from all the super cool shape thingies and press them down hard with his big superhero muscles to make the dough into shapes! They just took their first 'batch', as daddy called it, out of the oven and they're real life cookies! Still in the shapes Dean made them! It's just the coolest thing and he can't wait to make more. 

 

Dean decides to make this entire batch stars, because he loves them very very much. His daddy agrees that it's a great idea! As his daddy carries the new pan of cookies to the oven, he begins singing softly. Dean tilts his head and listens. It's pretty. He likes it a lot! 

 

"Daddy?"

 

"What's up love bug?" his daddy asks. 

 

Dean giggles, still thinking it's silly to be called a bug. "Wha' you singin'?"

 

His daddy smiles wide and it gives him a warm bubbly feeling in his belly. "It's called O Holy Night. It's about baby Jesus and the angels."

 

"Angews!" Dean perks up. "Daddy you a angew!"

 

"I am. So are you and Sammy now. You're baby angels, called Nestlings."

 

"We angews? Weawwy?"

 

"Really!"

 

"Wooooow." Dean watches his daddy roll out the dough, an idea forming. "You teaches it to's me?"

 

"Oh daddy would love that!" 

 

Over the next hour or so, while they bake and decorate cookies, Dean's daddy teaches him three songs. Daddy calls them Christmas Carols. All three are beautiful. 

 

When Uncle Gabe brings in Sammy and puts him in his highchair, Dean immediately requests the same. Each of them get one of the super soft cookies Dean and his daddy baked, complete with frosting and sprinkles that Dean had added. They're the kind that's safe to eat and the second the cookie is against Dean's gums he's releasing a slow moan of pleasure. It tastes yummy yummy, but it also feels holy wow great on his gummies! He doesn't know why but they've been hurting him today. He won't tell his daddy because he doesn't want to miss out on all the fun! 

 

Daddy and Uncle Gabe go off to do something nearby. Dean can hear them. He looks over at his Sammy and giggles when he sees his big little baby brother's face all covered in frosting. He even has some in his hair! Sammy starts to giggle too as he happily sucks on his yummy fingers. 

 

"Dis da bestest Quismas evew, hey Sammy?" 

 

"Nnnmnmmmm!" Sammy says in agreement, lips smacking. 

 

"I made dese cookies! My daddy hewped me. Does you wike dem Sammy?"

 

"Dee!" Sammy says, clapping his hands together. 

 

"Say cookie Sammy!" 

 

Sammy's eyebrows bunch together. "C-C-cooooooo-eee Sammy!"

 

Dean belly laughs. "Nooo, no say Sammy! I say Sammy! You jus' say cookie!"

 

"Sammy!" Sammy cheers, grinning at him. "Sammy cooooooo-eeee!" 

 

"Okay, Sammy," Dean says with another laugh. He supposes for a baby, that's the best he's going to get. "Good jobs."

 

Sammy claps for himself, then start pushing more frosting into his mouth. Dean finishes his cookie and decides watching Sammy is kind of boring. He calculates the risk of being caught and forced to nap, then makes the executive decision to rest his head and close his eyes for just a second. Only a second. Then they can keep having fun! 

 

 

---- 

 

 

After Castiel and Gabriel had found the babies both passed out in their highchairs with faces full of frosting and cookie crumbs, they had cleaned them up with warm towels and brought them to their rooms for a nap. The boys slept long enough for Castiel and Gabriel to clean up the mess that was their living room and kitchen, leaving nothing but a messily decorated tree and a kitchen counter full of cookie containers. 

 

Of course, the place is trashed again by the time they’re getting the boys ready for bed. Castiel can hear Sam’s happy baby noises coming from across the hall. He laughs softly as he listens to the baby go on and on about nonsense, probably still confused and excited about all of this Christmas stuff that’s been happening. He might also be excited about his brand new Christmas pajamas too. Castiel knows Dean sure is. 

 

“Dey jus’ so so awesome!” Dean squeals as he zips around his room pretending he can fly. The tiny little angel wings coming off of his pajamas flutter as he moves. Castiel can’t help the fond smile that appears as he watches the young boy. He’s nearing the age where he’ll be getting his own set of tiny wings. Even though Castiel hears the process is painful and difficult, he still can’t wait. His baby boy will look absolutely beautiful, and Castiel knows the boy will love them. He can just see them snuggling at night, Castiel softly preening Dean’s wings for him as Dean falls asleep in his arms. 

 

When Gabriel comes in, Sam in his arms, Dean pauses the running and begins to bounce in place. “Wook! Wook! I wook wike an angew!” 

 

“Dee!” Sam wiggles in Gabriel’s arms and shows his back, which has matching angel wings. “Sammy! Sammy! Dee! Sammy Dee!” 

 

Dean giggles, always finding Sam to be silly when he tries to talk. He starts zooming around the room again until Gabriel asks if they all should go in the living room for a bedtime story and their bottles. 

 

“I’ll get them settled,” Castiel says as he takes Sam from his brother. He drops his free hand to take Dean’s tiny hand in his. “You go make the bottles and meet us there.”

 

Gabriel salutes, then winks. Sam whines when Gabriel goes out of sight but Dean says that it’s okay and Sam calms down. When they get into the living room, Castiel makes a big pile out of all of their throw blankets and puts the boys in it. He can’t help but think they look like baby birds in their nest, especially with their matching tiny wings. 

 

While they wait, Castiel hears Dean speaking to Sam. He acts like he’s not paying attention and hides a smile behind his hand as he listens. 

 

“-pwetty song, Sammy! I sings you it! ‘S calls ‘Howy Nigh’ oskay?”

 

Sam just looks at Dean with big, confused eyes and ask quietly, “Dee?”

 

“I sing it to shows you!” Dean wiggles on his bum like he’s preparing himself, then begins to sing the song. “Ooooooh howy nigh’ da staws ‘ightwy shiiiiiiiinnnneee’in, da night rweindeew saves earth! Ummm… Ummm…” Dean looks down at his lap and frowns, little eyebrows pulling in. Then he perks up. “Oh, ‘n dere’s angews! Ummm… oh yeah! Oooooh heaw da angews siiiiiinnnnggin’ ‘n.” There’s a slight pause, and Sam takes this opportunity to clumsily clap his hands and squeal in delight. 

 

Then Dean just starts over, deciding this is enough to qualify as a song. “Ooooooh howy nigh’ da staws ‘ightwy shiiiiiiiinnnneee’in!” 

 

As Dean continues singing a very jumbled version of the carol Castiel taught him, Sam begins to sway to the music, big eyes fluttering closed as he coos along to the words. On Dean’s third or fourth run through, Sam is able to sing the “Ooooooh”s with Dean. He also manages to make a noise that resembles the sound when Dean sings the drawn out ‘Shining’s’ and ‘Singing’s’ which is utterly adorable. The two of them are. It’s the most confusing, jumbled, beautiful thing Castiel has ever experienced in his life. 

 

When Gabriel shows up with their bottles, Sam’s attention snaps and he shouts, “Baba!” with his big arms in the air. 

 

“I think since it’s a special night, I should tell you boys a special story,” Gabriel says with a smile. “Do you want your bottles before the story or after?” 

 

“Aftew!” Dean chirps. 

 

Sammy claps in agreement, bouncing up and down on his diapered rump. Gabriel laughs softly and nods. “After it is. Alright then, you both cuddle up together and I’ll tell you about the night baby Jesus was born.” 

 

“Jeedus?” Dean asks. “Who dat? Does we knows him?” 

 

“Baby Jesus is a very important baby that was born a long long time ago. I was there - I was one of the angels that came to see his birth and to protect him and his mama and daddy. He was special to heaven. To God. To the world.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Well, because Jesus was meant to save everyone. To bring peace and love and happiness.”

 

“Wow,” Dean says on a gasp. “Dat is weawwy in-pow’tan’.” 

 

“Yes, Dean. Really important.” Gabriel nods and Castiel feels an ache in his chest. One day they’ll have to teach the boys about what happened to Jesus. About the harsh realities of the world. The danger and the senseless cruelty. 

 

For now, though, all Dean cares about is, “Were dewe dinosauws dewe?” 

 

 

---- 

 

 

There! Are! Presents! Everywhere! Dean runs toward the piles screaming in excitement, hands flailing and little pretend wings on his back fluttering. He forgets to stop in time and stumbles into the presents. His face hits one of them and it hurts a lot but he blinks back the tears and stays happy. Today is Christmas! It’s a good day! No tears on Christmas! 

 

“Daddy, daddy! Wook! Santa bwoughts us wots of stuffs!” 

 

“I know! Wow! Look at all of it!” 

 

“Sammy, wook! Pwesents!” 

 

Sammy looks up at him with his face all scrunched up. He’s such a silly baby. Always so confused. Dean wobbles over to the presents and tries to find one that’s for Sammy. He can’t read them though! He has to ask his daddy for help. Together they find a small one that Dean can use his super big muscles to carry over to his brother. 

 

“Hewe you go wittle big man!” 

 

“Sammy’s?” Sammy asks with a gasp. 

 

Dean giggles. “Yeah! Fwom Santa!” 

 

“Sanna!” 

 

“Yeah Sammy! Goods jobs!” Dean plops down on his diapered rump and starts helping Sammy unwrap his present, knowing the baby won’t be able to do it himself. It’s his job as a big brother to be a good helper. “You open it wike dis. See?”

 

“Sanna!” 

 

Sammy brings one of his big hands and smacks it against the top of the present. His fingers make weird movements like he’s trying to do what Dean’s doing but they can’t. Dean giggles at how silly his baby brother is before finishing unwrapping the present himself. It’s a new rattle! This one even lights up! 

 

“Wook Sammy! Sanna gives you a wattwe!” Dean shakes it to show his brother, grinning ear to ear. Sammy isn’t looking at him. He has two big handfuls of wrapping paper and he’s giggling at the sounds they’re making. Dean frowns and pulls his eyebrows in. “Sammy, wook! Wook! Toy!”

 

“Mmmmmmmm-ba!” Sammy says in response, shaking the wrapping paper in the air and belly laughing when it falls into his lap. He does it again. And again. 

 

Dean scrunches his nose up and looks over at his daddy and uncle. “Sammy no wike toys?”

 

“He will. He’s just distracted. He’ll be okay, baby,” his daddy promises. “Why don’t you go find a present for you? Yours have the snowmen on them.”

 

“Oskay!” Dean practically chucks the rattle over his shoulder, no longer caring about it. If Sammy wants to be a boring silly baby then that’s fine. More time for Dean! 

 

Dean tears through his presents, barely taking the time to acknowledge each one before moving onto the next. He can't help it! There's just so many! He's never gotten so many gifts in his whole big life! 

 

He gets a race car track with cool loopy-loops. A dance mat that sings and lights up when he dances on it. Another baby doll. A crib and high chair for his baby doll. A pretend tool box. Candy Land. Dinosaurs. Tonka trucks. Two barbie dolls. Coloring books and crayons. Wooden puzzles. A rocking horse. 

 

Then, his daddy and uncle bring out a present wrapped up in shiny red paper with a super big white bow on it. "This one is from us."

 

Dean squeals and lunges for the gift, having thought he was all done! He tears off the paper so fast he almost gets tangled up in a big chunk of it. When he realizes what the present is, he stumbles back and falls on his bum with a gasp. "Baby!" 

 

"Yeah! We made it you sized!" his daddy explains. 

 

"It still works, just runs on grace now instead of gas. See, the radio even works." Uncle Gabe presses the radio button and Itsy Bitsy Spider starts playing through the speakers. "The cup holders are big enough to fit your bottle or sippy cup. You just put your little feet on the pedals and you can make it go!"

 

Dean's already climbing into the thing, his uncle's words barely registering. "Dis is awesome!" he yells as his tiny hands wrap around Baby's steering wheel. He's gonna be the coolest little dude ever! 

 

Oh no. 

 

Tears well up in Dean's eyes and he lets go of the steering wheel. 

 

"Oh, baby, what's wrong?" his daddy asks, kneeling beside the car. 

 

Dean sniffles. "I wanna bwing Sammy fow wides buts he so big 'n Baby so smaww!"

 

"Oh, that's okay buddy! Sammy won't mind," Uncle Gabe promises. "He'll be excited just to watch you! He won't be sad so you don't have to be sad, okay?"

 

"Oh. Oskays." Dean smiles. "I go fow a wide now. See ya!" 

 

He can hear his daddy and uncle laughing as he drives off super duper fast, his radio playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star now. It's okay that they're doing that. Laughing at him, he means. Sometimes it makes him embarrassed but he understands. Dean knows they're just super jealous. And who can blame them? Dean's really super cool. 

 

 

----

 

 

Sammy loves loves loves this wrapping paper! It's so shiny! And crinkly! And when he puts it close to his face he can see little snowflakes! He wants to know what it tastes like, shoving a corner in his mouth, but his mama is quickly pulling it out and telling him no. Sammy pouts but decides to let it go. He still loves it, even if he doesn't know what it tastes like. Besides, his mama gave him a paci right after that anyway, and Sammy loves his paci waaaaay more than wrapping paper!

 

Of course, the wrapping paper is forgotten when Sammy ends up on his back staring up at the Christmas tree. When did pretty stuff get put on there? Shiny, pretty things. Bright colors. Like a whole rainbow! 

 

And that one! Oooooooooooooh. That one looks like an angel! It has pretty pretty wings like Sammy’s pj’s. It sparkles and shines and glitters. Sammy can’t help but coo at it. It’s just so so beautiful! The prettiest thing he’s ever ever seen in the whole big wide world. 

 

It takes big lots effort but Sammy eventually gets himself to sit up again. He arranges himself on his knees and tries reaching up toward the pretty thing on the tree branch. It’s too far away, though! Sammy whines in frustration and tries to bounce on his knees to get closer to it. 

 

“No touching the tree, Sammy!” his mama scolds. 

 

Sammy’s eyes begin to water. It’s not fair! He just wants the pretty thing! 

 

“Mama!” he cries, trying again to grab at it. He looks back at his mama and tries to express how much he wants this special pretty thing from the tree! “Mama!”

 

“No, Sammy,” his mama says with a frown. Sammy slumps down and sniffles. He’s handed one of his new toys - which is nice and all… but not what he wants - and his mama tells him, “You’re okay sweetheart. I love you.”

 

Sammy sniffles again. He shakes the toy in his hand a few times but it’s not pretty and shiny like the thing on the tree. And it doesn’t have wings like his cool pjs. It’s just not the same. 

 

Sammy puts the toy down and tries reaching for the pretty thing again. 

 

“Sammy, no! Bad!” mama scolds. He uses that finger Sammy hates, pointing it and wagging it at Sammy. Sammy’s bottom lip wobbles and he starts to cry. 

 

Christmas is just no fun at all! It’s not nice! All these cool pretty things and Sammy doesn’t get any of it. Sammy no like this day. Not at all!

 

 

---- 

 

 

The moment Dean hears his Sammy crying, he’s out of his impala and by the big-little man’s side. “Sammy? Ohs no! Wha’ wong?” 

 

Sammy turns his big watery hazel eyes up at Dean and whimpers. “Ah!” 

 

“Wha’ wong?” Dean asks again. He hates when his Sammy is sad! It needs to be fixed right now, right now, right now! “Sammy, no be sad! I hewp!” 

 

“Ah!” Sammy rocks on his knees and reaches up a hand toward the tree. “Ah!”

 

“Wha’? Da bwue baww?” he asks, pointing a finger to the glittery blue ball that’s hanging on the branch a few inches above Sammy’s hand. 

 

“Nuh! Ah! Ah! Dee ah!” 

 

Frowning, Dean tries to figure out what on the tree his baby brother is trying to reach. He’s very confused. There are so many different decorations. Pretty balls and other glittery shapes. The lights. The tinsel. The glowing star. The candy cane ornaments. The angel one. 

 

Oh - the angel one? Is that what Sammy is pointing at? It’s right there - very close to the blue ball Dean thought he was trying to get to. 

 

“Da angew?” Dean asks. 

 

“Dee?” Sammy asks in confusion. 

 

“Dat one? Wiff da wings? Wike ouw wings?” Dean turns to show his wings on his back, then pokes at Sammy’s wings as well. 

 

Sammy nods enthusiastically. “Dee!”

 

“‘S called an angew, Sammy! Can you say angew?”

 

After a few slow blinks, Sammy tilts his head in confusion and says, “Dee?” 

 

Dean laughs. “Nevewminds, Sammy. Hol’ stiww, oskay? I gonna gets on yous.”

 

“Dee?”

 

“Shhh!” Dean puts a finger to his lips and looks around for his daddy and uncle. They’re not here. It’s go time. “Hol’ stiww ‘n be quiets!”

 

Sammy shoves his fingers into his mouth and begins chewing on them, clearly confused. Dean scrambles up his baby brother’s big body. He slips a couple times but with a tight grip on his Sammy’s hair he manages to hoist himself all the way up on him. Sammy grunts and sniffles at the tugging of his hair but he’s a good boy like Dean told him to be, keeping still and mostly quiet. 

 

 

The second Dean is in place, he reaches out his little arm and grabs at the ornament. It’s so so so close. He just needs to lean a little bit closer! Dean grins ear to ear, eyes wide as he pushes off of Sammy’s head with his grip tight on his hair so he doesn’t fall off. He wiggles his fingers. So close. So close. So close. 

 

“Dean Michael Winchester!” 

 

Dean startles, nearly falling off of his baby brother’s head. Two strong hands catch him just in time. He cowers, knowing exactly who has him. It’s the same person who yelled at him. Even though he’s relieved his daddy caught him and kept him nice and safe, he’s not looking forward to getting yelled at. 

 

“Sowwy daddy,” he mumbles into the crook of his daddy’s neck. “Jus’ wanted to makes Sammy happy ‘gain.”

 

“Shhh, love bug. I know. It’s okay. You scared daddy, that’s why he yelled. You could have gotten really hurt buddy. Or you could have hurt Sammy.”

 

“Oh.” Dean wipes a fist against his eyes, feeling sad and sleepy. “I no know dat. Sowwy.” 

 

“It’s okay. What were you trying to get for your Sammy, baby?” 

 

“Da angew!” Dean perks up, excited now. He wants to show his daddy the pretty angel ornament just in case his daddy hasn’t seen it yet. When he points at it, his daddy’s eyes light up. It makes Dean super happy that he can make his daddy look happy like that. “Innit pwitty, daddy?” 

 

“Very pretty.” Dean’s daddy grabs the angel ornament and sends a touch of grace through it, making it impossible to break. 

 

When he hands it to Sammy, Sammy squeals, giving them a huge smile. “Dee! Dee dada!” 

 

“You made him so happy, daddy!” Dean says with a smile big enough to rival Sammy’s. “Love you!” 

 

“Love you too little bug,” his daddy says, giving him a tight hug. 

 

Sammy says I love you too. Or, at least, that’s what Dean thinks he means by yelling, “Laaaaaa!” as he shakes his angel in the air. Dean doesn’t really care what exactly he’s trying to say anyway. Sammy’s just cute. 

 

 

---- 

 

 

“Ba! Mmmm-ba shh ggaah!” Sammy coos as he’s carried into the kitchen by his mama. Dee is sitting in his highchair already and Sammy pouts. He wants to be in his chair! No fair! He’s hungry too! He tries to tell his mama this, but his mama isn’t listening! “Gah - bbrrrrr - ma - dee dee mama!” 

 

Sammy’s mama just nods and smiles. “Yes. I see. Someone is very chatty today.”

 

Sammy doesn’t know what that means, but his mama is lowering him into his highchair that’s right beside Dee so he doesn’t complain about it. He just waves a big hand at his Dee and squeals, “Dee!” 

 

Dee gives him a gummy smile and waves back. “Hi Sammy!”

 

“Dee!”

 

“Daddy make us yum yums!”

 

That makes Sammy super happy. He kicks his feet in excitement and bounces in his highchair. Dee dada makes the bestest food ever! His mama is good too… but… not as good as dee dada! Unless it’s pie. Mama makes good pie. “Um ums!” 

 

A plate of food is placed in front of Sammy. It’s his favorite one! The pretty purple Frozen plate with Olaf and Sven. Some food is covering their faces though, which makes Sammy kind of sad, but it’s okay! He’ll save them from the yum yums by eating them all gone! 

 

Dee dada puts a new bib on him. One Sammy's never seen before! It has a pretty blue birdie on it and little pink hearts all over. 

 

"Birb!" Sammy says, pointing at his bird and waving at Dee to get his attention. "Dee! Birb!" 

 

"Bir-ddddd, Sammy. Not birb."

 

Sammy just tilts his head. "Bir-bbbbb."

 

This makes Dee giggle. He's not sure why but he likes when Dee is happy so Sammy claps and cheers and wiggles in his seat to celebrate. 

 

Dee dada hands Dee his spoon and Sammy takes that as his cue to eat too! His mama is far away and not ready to help him yet - usually his mama will do cool sounds and loop the spoon like an airplane! - but Dee doesn't need help and Sammy wants to be a big big boy like his Dee! He knows he can do it! He just knows it! 

 

Sammy watches his Dee very closely. Dee scoops some of the yummy mashed potatoes with his spoon and brings it to his mouth. Sammy can do that! Easy peasy. 

 

Since he doesn't have a spoon, Sammy uses his fingers. He scoops a big big lots from his plate and brings his hand to his mouth. He jolts, grunting in surprise when the food goes all over his face, only a little teeny bit hitting his tongue he was sticking out. He blinks rapidly and takes a shuddery deep breath. He won't cry. He won't! 

 

Sammy just try again! 

 

Pulling his eyebrows together in concentration, Sammy puts his face close to the plate so it'll be easier. But Sammy's hand slips in the mess he made where it's holding him up on the tray and Sammy falls forward. His face goes straight into the potatoes! 

 

Whimpering, Sammy lifts his head and tries to see through the sticky stuff on his eyes. It hurts them! It's making ouchies! Sammy rubs furiously at them but it just gets worse. And he thinks he hears Dee giggling at him! It's not funny, Dee! 

 

This is not fun! Not the funnest at all. Sammy hates mashed potatoes. Hates hates hates. He - he - Sammy shudders as a big sneeze sends mashed potatoes out of his nose and through the air. It feels yucky - even worse than his eyes - and Sammy has decided he's HAD it. Dee can be a big boy. Sammy much prefers being a baby. 

 

With a big deep huge breath to make sure he can be nice and super extra loud, Sammy begins to wail. 

 

 

---- 

 

 

When Gabriel turns around, his hands frozen where they were about to secure a lid to Sammy's bottle-sippy cup, he can't decide if he should laugh or feel terrible. There's a chance he laughs and feels terrible about the laughing all at once. 

 

"One minute, little prince," Gabriel says with a chuckle as he grabs a dish towel and runs part of it under warm water. "One minute mama looks away, and look at you. My little troublemaker."

 

"He no twubbamaka!" Dean defends angrily, glaring at Gabriel. "He twyin' feed himselfs!" 

 

Gabriel figured that much, but he pretends he didn't so Dean can feel like the protective big brother. "Oh, Sammy! Were you being a big boy and feeding yourself your mashed potatoes?"

 

"Sammy no um ums!" Sammy explains, flailing his arms in the air in frustration.

 

"Shhh now. Shhh. Hold still while mama cleans you baby."

 

“Mama,” the baby says sadly as he slumps in his chair and lets his mama clean him. Gabriel’s heart breaks, but in the best way. Even with how sad his baby boy is, he’s still so fricken adorable Gabriel can barely handle it. 

 

“There you go,” Gabriel says after cleaning up most of Sammy’s face and moving to work on his hands. “We’ll give you a bath after this to get all nice and squeaky clean, okay?”

 

Now that Sammy's eyes have been wiped clean he blinks up at Gabriel with red eyes and sniffles. He must suck in some mashed potatoes when he does so because his crying starts all over again. 

 

“Oh, sweet boy.” Gabriel lifts Sammy out of his chair and brings him to the big table so he can sit on Gabriel’s lap. Gabriel uses a napkin to wipe his face a little better, making sure to get as much as he can from his nostrils. Sammy squirms and grumbles and whines but he’s no match for Gabriel. Soon, he’s a - mostly - fresh-faced baby ready to eat again. “How about you sit on mama’s lap and I feed you?” 

 

Sammy perks up at that. He doesn’t answer verbally, just claps his hands and bounces in excitement. Gabriel has noticed Sammy does that when he’s upset or tired. He goes non-verbal and acts smaller than usual. Gabriel doesn’t mind. He loves his Sammy no matter what. 

 

“B-but - but daddy!” Dean whines from his highchair. He tugs at the straps keeping him in place and growls in frustration. 

 

“One moment, Dean,” Castiel says as he brings a fresh plate for Sammy and sets it beside Gabriel’s.

 

Dean - never the patient type - does not appreciate being put on hold. He kicks his feet and screams, “OOOOUUUUTTTTT!” until his tiny face is bright red. 

 

When Castiel gives Gabriel an exasperated look, Gabriel chuckles. “Early bedtime for the two nestlings tonight, I think.”

 

“Definitely.”

 

Sammy disagrees if his grunt and shake of his head is any indication. Dean doesn’t seem to hear them over his own screaming, which is probably for the best. 

 

With a stern look that doesn’t reach his eyes, Castiel fights back a smile and asks Dean, “What’s the matter little guy?” 

 

“Out!” Dean says with both hands flying up in the air in exasperation. “Sammy out, Dee out!” 

 

“It’s only fair, Cas,” Gabriel taunts. 

 

“Yeah!” Dean agrees with a big nod. “Oh’ee faiw!”

 

“Well then, I suppose two little boys can eat at the big table today. But only today, because it’s Christmas. Okay?”

 

Sammy just hums, probably not caring enough to figure out what he means. He just takes another bite of turkey that Gabriel puts on his tongue and smacks it around his mouth to enjoy it. Dean looks like he wants to argue, but he’s also smart enough not to push his luck. He just sighs dramatically and nods in agreement. His mood improves quickly after that when his daddy picks him up and carries him to the table. 

 

“Hi Sammy!” Dean says, grinning like they got away with something. 

 

“Nghma!” Sam says around a mouthful of mashed potatoes. His hands were accidentally resting in his mashed potatoes so when he claps to show his excitement over Dean being here, flecks of mashed potatoes go flying through the air. Since none of it got in his face, Sam finds this funny instead of frustrating and begins giggling. It’s not long before Dean is falling into a fit of giggles of his own. It takes much longer for them to finish dinner than usual - especially once the pies come out for dessert - but Gabriel doesn’t mind, and he knows his brother doesn’t either. 

 

These are the moments they’ve spent all of eternity wanting. 

 

 

---- 

 

 

“I have an idea!” Dean’s daddy announces when Dean and Sammy are in fresh diapers and pajamas. Dean looks up from where he had been lazily playing with a tonka truck, trying to keep his eyes open and failing miserably. He blinks a few times and tilts his head in question. He’s too sleepy to ask what the idea is. It’s been a long day. 

 

Thankfully, his daddy understands his pain and takes pity on him. “We should make a big nest in the living room and have a sleepover!” 

 

This wakes Dean up. “S’eepova?” 

 

“Yeah!” Dean’s daddy scoops him up and places a kiss on the ticklish part of his ear, making him giggle and squirm. “Me, you, Sammy, and Uncle Gabe. We can get all of the pillows and blankets and sleep right here in a pile together. What do you think?”

 

Before his daddy has even finished explaining, Dean is up on his feet and running super duper fast toward Sammy’s nursery. 

 

Oh! Wait! Baby is much much faster! Baby is like the fastesest car in ever! 

 

Dean turns around and climbs into his car. He doesn’t turn the radio on. There’s no time for smooth jams! Instead, Dean puts his feet on the pedals and pushes super duper hard to get the car moving. He grunts in frustration when it doesn’t work. 

 

“Daddy! Hewp!”

 

He hears his daddy laugh softly and then he’s getting a little push. It’s all Dean needs and then his strong legs take over. He goes flying down the hall like s speed racer! 

 

“Sammy! Sammy!” he calls, zooming into the nursery and scrambling out of his car to see his baby brother. “Sammy we gonna make a nest ‘n has a s’eepova!” 

 

“Ahhhh!” Sammy cheers. He claps his big, clumsy hands and bounces in place. “Ahhh!” 

 

“Can you say s’eepova, Sammy?”

 

Sammy tilts his head, then giggles. “Sammy?” 

 

“Nooooo, Sammy. Say s’eepova. You no say Sammy!” Dean says with some giggles of his own. His big little man is just the cutest thing ever! 

 

“Sammy!” Sammy says proudly, looking down at Dean with those big puppy dog eyes. He clearly wants Dean to tell him he did a good job. Which he did! Sammy can never not do a good job! Sammy is just so so perfect all of the time! “Sammy!”

 

“Oskay, Sammy. Good job.” Dean pats Sammy on the head and smiles when it makes the baby coo. His Sammy looks at him while he sucks on his fingers, drool getting everywhere as he smiles wide around his hand at Dean. 

 

“Bwing yous bwankets ‘n piwwows, Sammy! Fow da nest!” 

 

Sammy smacks his lips harder, sucking his fingers like they’re the yummiest thing ever. Dean supposes they might be. Sammy got lots of pie on his hands earlier at dinner. But they took a tub tub together! He should only taste like boring bubbles now! 

 

Silly Sammy. 

 

Just in case the baby doesn’t understand, Dean looks at his uncle and puts his little hands on his hips. He sternly tells him, “Bwing my Sammy ‘n wots ‘n wots of bwankets ‘n piwwows to da wivin’ woom.”

 

“Okay, little man. We’ll be right there.” 

 

Dean nods firmly. He better be right there! This is a special night and he doesn’t want to waste any of it! Especially with how sleepy Sammy looked. Dean is super tough and would never ever fall asleep during a cool sleepover, but Sammy is just a baby and could fall asleep any minute! His uncle better hurry before Sammy misses all of the fun!

 

Grumbling to himself, Dean gets back in Baby and puts his feet on the pedals. He moves his body back and forth in a rocking movement and tries to push the pedals but it doesn’t work. In exasperation, Dean puts his hands up and says, “Push pwease!” 

 

When he gets his push, he’s back on the move. Straight to his daddy to deliver the very super important news that his Sammy and uncle are on their way! Dean stops short when he sees the living room though. He can’t get out of the impala fast enough. 

 

“Oh my wow daddy! Wow wow wow!” Dean bounces on his feet as he turns to take it all in. How did his daddy do this all while he was gone? He must be magic. It’s the only explanation. There’s so many pillows and blankets! There’s the ones from daddy’s room, and from uncle’s. From Dean’s room too! He even has Mr. Dinosaur on Dean’s pillow, his favorite blankie right beside him. Mr. Dinosaur is going to LOVE this sleepover! Thank goodness daddy remembered because Dean would have felt just terrible terrible awful if he forgot and Mr. Dinosaur missed out on all the fun!

 

“I put you right in the middle. You and Sammy can cuddle up there and then me and uncle Gabe will cuddle the two of you from the outside. Okay?”

 

Dean nods excitedly, unsure if there’s ever been a better thing to happen in, like, ever. “Okay!” 

 

“Do you want to pick out the movie we watch? I don’t think Sammy will mind what it is.”

 

Dean giggles. Sammy won’t mind. Sammy’s just a silly baby. He’ll probably spend the whole time eating his toes or talking to his puppy in nonsense. If he stays awake, that is. He’s a sleepy baby. 

 

After a very long, drawn out decision making process - because picking a movie is a very very really very important responsibility! - Dean decides on The Polar Express. He loves all of the pretty songs. He knows the creepy puppet clown part might scare Sammy, but he thinks Sammy will be sleeping by then anyway. It’s a risk they’ll have to take. 

 

Dean wobbles over to his daddy with the DVD case tight in his little hands. He shyly offers it to his daddy, hoping he’ll like the movie he chose. From his daddy’s smile, he thinks his daddy is happy. Dean smiles back. 

 

While his daddy puts the movie in, Sammy and uncle Gabriel come into the room. Sammy squeals and claps loudly when he sees their nest. He puts his big hands out for Dean and grunts. His mama listens to Sammy’s order and places Sammy down on the blankets next to Dean. Sammy immediately goes in for a big hug, his smile wide and bright. Dean bats his hand away and crawls into his lap instead. When he has his tiny arms around his big little brother’s waist the best he can, he helps Sammy put one hand on his bum and reminds him, “Pat pat, Sammy! Gentwe!” 

 

“Sammy!” Sammy says happily as he begins to lightly tap his hand against Dean’s diapered bottom. “Sammy pat pat!”

 

Dean giggles and hugs his brother extra tighter. “Wuv you Sammy!”

 

“Pat pat!” 

 

 

---- 

 

 

Castiel comes back from the kitchen where he had been rinsing the boys’ bottles out after their feeding. When he had left, Gabriel was already holding a fast asleep Sam with a sleepy Dean resting his head on Gabriel’s thigh. When he returns, Sam is placed on the pile of blankets and pillows, curled up around his puppy and sleeping soundly, his chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Dean is up against his front, his two tiny arms tangled in Sam’s big ones. Mr. Dinosaur is squished between them, hanging out with a poor squished Mr. Puppy. 

 

They're safe. Happy. Peaceful. Loved. Cared for. 

 

They have a home. Parents. A complete family. One with unconditional love.

 

"Don't get sappy on me, Cassie," Gabriel teases, probably able to guess his thoughts from his expression. 

 

Castiel just gives his brother a goofy smile and lays down behind his boy. The two nestlings are safely cocooned between them. Just to add to the moment, Castiel fluffs his wings out and lays one protectively over Dean and Sam. Gabriel follows right after. 

 

"Merry Christmas little angels," Gabriel says, being a hypocrite as he gets teary eyed and sappy himself. 

 

Castiel can't exactly judge, though. He's almost crying too when he echoes his brother's words. "Merry Christmas little angels."

 

The two brothers settle down, ready to fall asleep after a very long two days. A tiny, sleepy voice pipes up before they can. "Mewwy Quismas big angews!"

 

Castiel and Gabriel laugh softly but Dean’s already asleep before they can think up a response. They fall asleep smiling. 

 

They’ve been doing that a lot lately. 

 

They don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. 

 

 

 

Notes:

Come follow me on tumblr @destiel-love-forever!

Chapter 18

Summary:

Sorry for going AWOL on all of you. It's been a hell of a few weeks.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

There are bars. Big big bars. Sammy looks all around him, trying to see if there’s a gap in the bars to crawl through. He thinks he’s in his crib. Trapped in it! 

 

He’s in his crib, and it’s hot, and everything hurts big lots!

 

“Mama?” he asks into the darkness, his big-little body trembling in terror. “Mama?”

 

A cruel laugh makes him jump and begin to cry. It’s familiar and scary and he just wants to be out! Why is it so hot!? He starts to frantically tug at his pajamas. They feel like they’re burning his skin!

 

That laugh comes again. Sammy turns his head, trying to see where it’s coming from. Trying to understand. Big, fat tears are rolling down his chubby cheeks. 

 

There’s a shape. An outline of a person. Mama! That’s his mama! It has to be! 

 

“Mama! Mama!” he shouts, arms going up in the air, hands grabbing at the emptiness in desperation. “Mama! Mama!”

 

Why isn’t his mama coming? 

 

Can’t his mama see he’s afraid? He’s hurting? He’s trapped? 

 

“Mama?” he asks in a tiny voice, unsure. Maybe that isn’t his mama. It’s… it’s familiar. He knows that shape. That person. But he doesn’t think it’s his mama. “D-Dee?” 

 

The scary shape steps forward. It’s a scary looking man with red eyes and sharp teeth. No… no that’s not his mama! That’s not Dee! That’s the bad man! That’s the bad bad bad man!

 

Sammy shrieks and the sound escalates, echoes, pierces through the air. Then his body begins to hurt. HURT hurt hurt bad! Everything goes dark. He’s so so hot, his body covered in yucky, sticky sweat. And - and - and blood. Sammy thinks that’s blood. The kind you get from scary boo boo’s! 

 

No. No. He needs his mama! 

 

“Mama!” he screams. “Mama!”

 

It’s so super hot! And the man is mean! He’s bad bad bad, and he’s hurting Sammy, and he’s so scary! 

 

Puppy! Sammy needs his puppy! 

 

He turns and wiggles in his crib, limbs heavy with the uncooperation that comes with his new baby body. Puppy… puppy is not here! Neither is his blankie. Or - or - or his paci! 

 

“Woof!” he cries, trying to get his puppy to come to him. That’s what grown ups do! They yell for their puppies, and the puppies come running! “Woof! Woof!”

 

The darkness fades away, eaten up by angry flames. Sammy sees scary, angry things happening around him. Someone hanging from the ceiling. Another getting ripped apart. Puppy is burning! And - and - and his blankie is shredded just like that person’s body is! 

 

It doesn’t… none of it makes sense. He doesn’t understand! It’s so scary and yucky and he hurts. He hurts so so much. What’s happening? 

 

“Mama! Mama!” Sammy screams, desperate for someone to save him as the bad man comes closer. “Mama! Mama!” 

 

---- 

 

Dean wakes immediately, his ears catching the first cries of his baby brother. With a gasp of horror, he clambors out of his bed and toddles down the hall in a panic. His tiny heart pounds pounds pounds. 

 

When he gets into Sammy’s room, Dean sees how terrible everything is! Sammy’s pacifier is missing from his mouth, and nowhere to be found! His puppy fell through the crib bars, and is stuck all alone on the floor! And Sammy seems to still be sleeping - or maybe not? Dean’s not sure, but he knows Sammy is crying super duper hard, and he sounds very scared, and Dean doesn’t like it. Not at all. 

 

Hurrying to his brother, Dean grabs Sammy’s puppy that fell and looks around for the paci. When he can’t find one, he sacrifices his own, deciding he doesn’t need it as much. Dean reaches up, trying to give Sammy the paci and his puppy, but he’s too short! He has to get all the way up on his little tip toes, bouncing a bit. 

 

He can’t reach Sammy! 

 

He can reach the mattress, though, so he puts the paci and puppy on the mattress next to his baby brother and tries to explain to him, “Sammy, wook! Paci ‘n puppy! Wook! Wight dewe!”

 

Can’t Sammy see that they’re right there? 

 

Dean’s frustration grows as Sammy just continues to cry, clinging to the bars of his crib. He needs to help his Sammy! But he doesn’t understand what’s wrong! And he can’t reach! And this is all just terrible terrible terrible! Tears threaten Dean’s eyes as he falls to the ground and begins crying in sadness and frustration. 

 

----

 

“MAAAAAMAAAA! MAAAAMAAAA! WAAAAAAAHHHHH! WAAAAAAAH!” 

 

Gabriel jerks awake, rolling off the bed in such a hurry he nearly falls on his face. He stumbles down the hall to his baby boy’s bedroom. It’s like he can’t get his body to move fast enough, his mind reeling with panic, his legs turning to jelly. By the time he gets to the nursery, he’s gasping for air. 

 

The first thing Gabriel sees is Castiel holding a panicked Dean. The two of them are standing beside the crib, Castiel trying to calm his boy down by rubbing his back and whispering things to him. The second Dean realizes that Gabriel has arrived, he turns a bright red, tear stained face to him and growls, “Sammy sad! Fick it! Fick it now!”

 

“Dean, be polite to uncle Gabriel. He’ll fix it, don’t worry.”

 

Dean just grumbles something Gabriel can’t hear and places his head on his daddy’s shoulder, eyes staying glued to Gabriel as he watches his uncle’s every move. Gabriel’s not sure whose scrutiny is worse - the prophets, or Dean Winchester as a toddler. 

 

 

Sammy’s fingers are curled around the railing of his crib, the little one’s face just barely visible as he cries with his head thrown back. His entire body is violently shaking as he cries and screams.

 

Nightmare. He must have had a nightmare. 

 

Oh thank dad, Gabriel thinks. Nightmares he can handle. All kids get nightmares. 

 

“Shhh,” Gabriel coos, much calmer now as he approaches the crib. “Shhh, baby, mama is here.”

 

Sammy jerks his head in the direction of Gabriel, his crying going mostly quiet as he blinks rapidly through his tears. “M - mama?” 

 

“Yeah, Sammy. It’s mama. Mama is right here.”

 

“Mama,” Sammy whispers in a wobbly voice. He hiccups, then whimpers. A second later, the baby is falling back into a fit of sobs, sad instead of panicked this time. 

 

“Oh sweet boy.” Gabriel reaches down and uses his grace to scoop his baby up. With a free hand, he grabs Sammy’s pacifier and puppy. As he passes Castiel and Dean, he exchanges a tired smile with his brother. 

 

Castiel starts to leave with Dean in his arms, probably planning to put his boy back to bed now that Sammy is taken care of, but Dean makes sure before they leave to mumble a sleepy, “Nigh’ nigh’ Sammy, wuv you!” 

 

The extra people gone, Gabriel hurries over to the rocking chair and cradles Sammy to his chest, rocking him back and forth in a slow, soothing motion. He hums a song that’s been stuck in his head under his breath, already feeling Sammy falling asleep in his arms. The baby had been furiously sucking at his pacifier, but it’s now faded into a slow, rhythmic sucking instead, and his death grip he had on his puppy is now relaxed, letting the puppy rest in his arms instead of getting crushed to his chest. 

 

After a few more minutes to make sure Sammy is really back to sleep, Gabriel carefully stands and puts the boy back in his crib. He wipes Sammy’s face clean with the corner of his blanket, throwing it to the floor to be cleaned. With a fresh blanket, he tucks Sammy in, making sure his puppy is still in his arms and his pacifier is still in his mouth. 

 

“Sweet dreams, sweet boy,” Gabriel whispers, brushing Sammy’s soul with a kiss of grace. 

 

---- 

 

“Daddy?” Dean whispers, looking up at Castiel with bright green eyes glazed with tears. 

 

“What’s up, love bug?”

 

“Is Sammy gonna be oskay?”

 

Castiel smiles down at his baby boy, heart melting. “Of course, baby. Uncle Gabe will take very good care of him. It was probably just a bad dream.”

 

This makes Dean’s eyebrows pull in. He looks away from Castiel, off toward the empty wall. “I tink we used to get dose. I ‘member dem.”

 

Feeling his chest ache, Castiel nods in understanding. “Yes, baby. When you two were older, you both got lots of scary dreams.”

 

“Yeah,” Dean whispers, still lost in thought. “I used’ta hewp him, daddy… buts… buts I no hewp him ‘nymowe, ‘cuz… ‘cuz I too smaww.”

 

“Oh, baby, you still help Sammy so much!”

 

“Buts I not!” Dean says in a panicked voice. He’s very clearly on the edge of tears. “I no hewp him. Jus’ sits ‘n watch him be sad!”

 

Castiel scoops his boy up from where he was changing his diaper before putting him back to bed. He presses Dean to his chest and runs his fingers through the boy’s soft curls, smiling when the boy gives into the nice touch and hums in pleasure. Rocking on his feet beside Dean’s bed, Castiel tries his best to comfort his boy. “Just because you’re little now doesn’t mean you can’t take care of Sammy. You just have to do it differently. Some things a big brother can help with, but some things only a mama or daddy can help with. I know before, when you guys were in that scary life, you had to do everything with Sammy, but that’s not how it is here, remember? You just have to worry about being a good big brother with your Sammy. You don’t have to be the daddy or mama, because he has that now. Okay?”

 

After a minute of considering this, Dean whispers, “Oskay.” 

 

“We can practice some ways for you to be a big helper for Sammy in the morning, okay? You did such a good job feeding him his bottle before.”

 

Dean blushes furiously, trying to hide his face in Castiel’s neck. “Oskay. Tanks, daddy.”

 

“Of course, sweet boy. Let’s get you to sleep so you aren’t tired in the morning, okay?”

 

“Oskay, daddy.”

 

“Good boy.” Castiel presses a kiss to Dean’s forehead before lowering the boy onto his bed. He tucks him in and makes sure Dean has his Mr. Dinosaur. He pauses, scanning the area. “Dean, where is your paci?”

 

Dean just shrugs. “I gives it to Sammy. He was so sad!”

 

Castiel wasn’t aware that his heart could explode to the point of being obliterated, but it just happened. He even feels tears in his eyes. “Oh, Dean, honey. You are such a sweet good boy. Such a good big brother. That was so nice of you.”

 

Blushing like before, Dean hides behind his Mr. Dinosaur. He’s only willing to look back at Castiel when Castiel offers him a new pacifier from the bowl he keeps on the nightstand. Once his truck pacifier is settled between his lips, Dean closes his eyes and curls in around his Mr. Dinosaur. 

 

“Wuv you daddy,” he says, the words muffled by the pacifier in his mouth. 

 

After pressing a final kiss to Dean’s forehead, Castiel whispers, “Love you too, love bug. Sweet dreams.”

 

----

 

Gabriel has just sunk back into a restful sleep when he’s interrupted again by Sammy’s hysterics. He’s slower to get up this time, rubbing a hand across his face in exhaustion. When he glances at the clock and sees less than 20 minutes has passed, he groans. Something is scaring his baby, and Gabriel isn’t having it. They need sleep. Babies need peaceful sleep - especially Sammy, who deserves it the most after everything that’s happened to him. And daddies need sleep too - especially Gabriel, who, let’s be honest, does not do well without an abundance of rest and food. 

 

“Shhh,” he’s already cooing as he enters the nursery. This time, Sammy isn’t as awake. He’s still lying down, his blankets tangled around him, his body jerking as he shrieks and shrieks and shrieks. 

 

Gabriel hurries forward and presses a hand to Sammy’s forehead, closing his eyes and entering the baby’s mind. It only takes a second before Gabriel is recoiling in horror, holding his hand to his chest as if Sammy burned him. 

 

Sammy is dreaming about the cage. 

 

About Lucifer. 

 

That mother fuc- Gabriel takes a breath, forcing himself to calm down. He can’t be angry with Lucifer right now. That won’t do anyone any good. What happened happened. 

 

Sammy is safe now, and it’s Gabriel’s job to fix this. To make sure Sammy is safe even in his mind. Even in his dreams. 

 

Gabriel scoops his boy back up like he did earlier, carrying him once again to the rocking chair. He cradles him softly and begins to hum the song he heard on the radio earlier - he was annoyed that it’s been stuck in his head, but now he’s thankful. 

 

With a shiver, Gabriel releases his wings, allowing them to wrap protectively around him and his babe, encasing Sammy in a warm, safe space. The tip of one wing brushes against Sammy’s lips, as if Gabriel’s nature knows what Sammy needs. Gabriel trusts the instinct. He gasps when Sammy’s lips part, his crying slowing down as he begins suckling at the tip.

 

Gabriel can already feel the unfiltered grace calming his boy down, but he wants to make absolutely sure that Sammy is going to be okay. 

 

Putting his hand back to Sammy’s forehead, Gabriel concentrates, breathing slow and deep so that Sammy will match him. He eradicates all thoughts of Lucifer and the cage, replacing them with solid notions that Sammy is safe and warm and happy. 

 

That Sammy is a good boy. 

 

That Sammy is loved. 

 

Once Sammy is calmed down, Gabriel puts him back in his crib and makes sure he has his paci, stuffie, and blanky. Then he touches his mobile and begins to sing the song that’s been stuck in his head all day, Everything Your Heart Desires by Hall & Oates. Using his grace, he pours his own voice into the mobile so that when he pulls away and stops singing, the mobile continues without him. 

 

Sammy releases a happy little sigh and falls back into a deep sleep. 

 

---- 

 

Sammy can smell his mama. Can hear his voice. He’s not sure where he is, but he’s scaring the bad man away! The bad man doesn’t like mama! The bad man is gone! Sammy’s breathing slows as he looks around himself. “Mama?” he asks, but no one answers. 

 

After a moment, though, Sammy hears a familiar tune being sung. It’s something his mama was singing all day today. Sammy doesn’t understand the words, but the music is pretty, and his mama’s voice is nice nice nice. Rubbing at his puffy red eyes, Sammy releases a deep sigh of relief. 

 

The next time he’s opening his eyes to look around, the scary place with the big bars and angry fire is gone. He’s back in his crib. It’s so nice. Warm. Soft. The bad bad hurt burns that were hot hot hot are gone now. All that’s touching his skin is a soft, warm blankie. There’s a warmth in his body, too. Something traveling through his system, pooling in his tummy. It feels good. Like when he gets his baba! 

 

Sammy hums in appreciation, sinking down into his soft mattress and smiling. He falls back to sleep, this time peacefully dreaming of him and Dee with their mama and daddy, playing in the leaves in the backyard again! Sammy giggles as Dee throws leaves on him. They’re so so beautiful! And they make such pretty sounds when they crunch crunch crunch beneath Dee’s feet. 

 

Sammy feels safe and warm and happy. 

 

Sammy is a good boy. 

 

Sammy is loved.

Notes:

Follow me on tumblr @ destiel-love-forever!

Chapter 19

Summary:

It's been FOREVER since I posted for this story & I figured now would be a great time to. Everyone needs a little adorable fluff in their lives right now <3

* Usually I only do this for my Patrons, but the art is in color this time because I've been neglecting you all :( Thanks again to my wonderful friend who makes such amazing drawings for this fic <3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dean makes it about halfway through the opening theme of the original Lone Ranger before he’s on the move. He slides off of the couch on his belly, little legs kicking in the air as he tentatively lowers himself. When his bare toes reach the floor he lets himself land and begins waddle-running away.

 

“Where ya goin’?” his daddy asks him from where he sits on the floor nearby folding laundry. 

 

“My woom,” he says matter-of-factly. He’s a little man on a mission and he will not let his daddy distract him. 

 

In the distance, Dean hears his daddy say something to Uncle Gabe about following him. He doesn’t really care. Uncle Gabe is more than welcome to come on his adventure, as long as he doesn’t get in the way. Dean has an important job to do. A man with a plan. 

 

When he reaches his room he heads straight to his closet where he’s begun to collect dress-up outfits. So far he has a Cinderella dress with pretty plastic heels and a sparkly crown, a fairy princess dress with a wand and wings, a superhero cape and mask, a firefighter uniform, and a cowboy outfit. Dean starts to pull the pieces of the cowboy outfit from its place. 

 

“Do you need help buddy?” Uncle Gabe asks from behind him. 

 

“Nope!” Dean calls in between grunts. He’s trying to reach the cowboy hat but it’s hanging on a hook just out of reach. He doesn’t want help though. Not when the fate of the world rests on his shoulders. How will he save everyone from the bandits if he can’t even get his stinkin’ hat? 

 

Getting an idea, Dean drags over his beanbag chair his daddy bought for him to sit in for reading books. It squishes under his toesies but it’s just enough padding to get him to his goal. 

 

He’s the smartest kid ever! 

 

And he’s gonna be the awesome-ist cowboy ever too!

 

Once Dean’s dragged his clothing and accessories out of the closet he plops down on his diapered rump and begins to wiggle his way out of his clothes. It takes a lot of hard work and by the time he has his shirt off he’s all sweaty and red faced. He doesn’t let it get to him, though. He’s a cowboy! Cowboys don’t get bothered by silly stuff like getting dressed. Not when there’s lives to save! 

 

Dean successfully pulls the chaps up his legs, leaving the buckle undone because he can’t do it but he’s too stubborn to ask for help. 

 

It’s the flannel that’s his undoing. 

 

Flannels are very difficult to figure out. 

 

After getting tangled and stuck, Dean huffs angrily and looks through his lashes at his uncle. The adult is sitting on the floor watching him with a smile. “Need help?”

 

“Yes,” Dean grumbles. He blushes and pulls at his flannel. He managed to get one arm in but it got all twisty-turny and messed up. “Cowboys need hewp, too. Wight Unc’ Gabe?” 

 

“Cowboys need help all the time. It’s good to ask for help!” 

 

This makes Dean perk up. “Oh! So… I stiww a goods cowboy?”

 

“Pssssh.” Uncle Gabe plops down beside him and starts to fix Dean’s flannel. “A good cowboy? You’re the best cowboy! You’re Dean Winchester!” 

 

“Yee haw!” Dean says as a cheer, bouncing on his bum in excitement. 

 

With Uncle Gabe’s help, Dean is quickly dressed in his chaps, flannel, vest, sheriff badge, handkerchief, and cowboy hat. Uncle Gabe tries to explain to him that his cowboy boots are too big for him still but Dean’s having none of that. How in the world could he be a cowboy if he’s not wearing any boots! The bandits would laugh! 

 

Uncle Gabe lets him wear the boots after some arguing - which Dean wins of course because he’s super smart. Dean has to do a little shuffle in order to get to his wooden rocking horse but he doesn’t mind! It’s worth it! 

 

Dean LOVES his rocking horse and he’s gonna ride him! 

 

After falling on his rump three times and asking his uncle for help with tear-filled eyes, Dean’s finally up on his horsey. He grips tight to the wooden handles and begins to rock. When he gets up a good pace he raises one hand in the air and starts swinging it around. 

 

Deciding that his uncle is the bandit, Dean points a chubby finger at him in accusation. He furrows his brow and yells, “You’ve yeed youw wast HAW!” 

 

Uncle Gabe puts his hands in the air. “I didn’t do anything!” 

 

“You da bad guy!” Dean says in exasperation. His uncle isn’t good at playing this. He’s supposed to know! “You da bad guy ‘n you’ve yeed youw wast HAW!”

 

“Oh no! Don’t hurt me! I’m sorry!” 

 

“Pew pew!” Dean points a finger gun at him. “Pew pew, you dead bad guy!”

 

Uncle Gabe looks like he’s about to say something - and from the look on his face Dean thinks maybe he’s about to get in trouble - but then they get the bestest interruption ever! 

 

Sammy!

 

This is just the perfectest! Dean loves his rocking horse but it doesn’t move! 

 

Sammy moves! 

 

Sammy’s the perfect horsey to help Dean chase the bad guys. 

 

“Sammy!” Dean says in a serious voice, pointing his finger to the sky and spinning it like daddy does when he talks about getting ready to leave the house. “Saddle up! We gots bad guys to gets!” 

 

---- 

 

Dee is doing something super cool! He’s riding a horsey! Sammy sits on his knees and rests his bum on his feet, his hands settling on the floor between his legs. He tilts his head and sucks harder on his paci as he watches. 

 

The horsey moves in the same way as Sammy’s nursery chair where his mama rocks and sings to him. It’s the coolest! 

 

And Dee’s outfit is even cooler! Sammy’s not sure what he’s supposed to be but he doesn’t care. There’s something shiny and pretty on his vest and a silly hat on his head! Sammy huffs a little at the hat, though. Why did he get that stinky yucky bonnet on his head but Dee gets the cool hat? 

 

Before he can pout too much about it, Dee is pointing a finger at him and yelling. At first Sammy startles. Dee is mad at him! What did Sammy do!?!

 

But then he sees that his Dee is smiling! 

 

“You be my new howsey, Sammy!” Dee tells him, petting his head. 

 

Sammy doesn’t understand what that means but he likes Dee’s smile and he REALLY likes hair pets so he hums and smiles around his paci. 

 

“Hol’ stiww!”

 

“Dean, buddy, that might not be a good idea,” Sammy hears his mama say from nearby. 

 

He turns to look but then Dee is grabbing his hair and climbing onto him. Sammy giggles. Dee is so cool and fun! And he’s playin’ with Sammy! Yaaaay!

 

Sammy tries to hold still like his big brother said, looking up as far as he can without moving his head. He can see the tip of Dee’s really cool hat and he coos at it to let Dee know he likes it. 

 

“We oskay, Unc’ Gabe!” Dee says. 

 

This time Sammy sees his mama. He’s standing nearby with his hands in the air like he’s going to hug them, but he doesn’t get any closer. That’s fine. Sammy kind of doesn’t want mama right now. Mama hugs are nice… but you can’t have mama hugs AND play at the same time. Mama hugs can wait. 

 

Dee and Sammy are playin’!

 

“Crawl, Sammy,” his mama tells him, still with his hands out. He’s smiling though. “Crawl so Dee can ride you.”

 

“Dee!” Sammy slurs through his paci. “Dee! Dee!”

 

Then he starts to crawl like his mama said. Dee laughs and bounces on him as Sammy crawls out of the room and down the hall. Sammy giggles. His brother is kind of silly. This is a weird game. But that’s okay! It’s still fun! 

 

“Giidyap!” Dee squeaks. 

 

Sammy tries to yell it too. It’s hard with his paci but he’s positive it came out good. It makes his mama smile and Dee laugh so it must have! 

 

Gosh, Sammy just really really REALLY loves playin’ with his Dee!

 

“What do we have here?” Dee daddy says when they get to the living room. 

 

“Sammy my howsey!” Dee explains. He kicks his feet and chirps, “Giddyap!”

 

Something goes flying past Sammy’s face and he startles. When he sees it’s Dee’s boot, he looks over his shoulder to see Dee’s feet. The sight of Dee’s sock is super funny and Sammy starts giggling. Silly Dee! Even Sammy knows you’re supposed to wear socks or shoes, not one of each! 

 

Sammy laughs harder, shaking Dee on top of him as he does so. 

 

“Woooo hooo!” Dee cheers. “Giddyap!”

 

“Giddyap!” Sammy repeats. He bounces in place because he doesn’t really want to crawl away right now. Sammy likes all this attention. It’s his whole big family right here at the same time! And they’re all looking at him! And they’re all so happy and smiling and he just loves loves LOVES them all so so much! 

 

 

 

But, of course, Sammy and Dee have to go catch the bad guys. At least, that’s what Dee keeps saying. So when Dee yells, “Go go howsey! Giddyap!” Sammy listens. 

 

---- 

 

“You’ve yeed youw wast HAW!” Dean says in warning as Castiel finally manages to corner the energetic little one in the kitchen. He’s wearing nothing but his cowboy hat, diaper, and vest with the sheriff badge on it. No shirt and no pants. The cowboy boots are long gone. They apparently weren’t cool enough for how much of a pain they were. 

 

“I’ve what?” Castiel asks on a laugh, shocked at what he just heard. 

 

“You’ve yeed youw wast HAW!” Dean repeats, face turning red in anger. 

 

It’s real anger, which makes it even more adorable. 

 

Castiel bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. If he laughs then Dean will think this behavior is okay. And, adorable or not, being up an hour past bedtime refusing to behave is not okay. 

 

“Dean, I’m not repeating myself,” Castiel says, repeating himself for the hundredth time despite the words. “It is time for bed. Now.”

 

“You’ve yeed youw wast HAW!” he yells louder. 

 

“Dean-”

 

“You’ve yeed youw wast HAW!” he screams. 

 

Castiel snaps. 

 

He’s a parent. 

 

Parents do that. 

 

No one is allowed to judge. 

 

“Well if you don’t get in bed right now, mister, you’re gonna yee your last haw!”

 

Dean’s eyes turn wide and his mouth forms an ‘o’ shape. “But I da good guy! I da cowboy! Cowboys no yee da wast haw! Bad guys do!”

 

“Bad guys stay up past their bedtimes and misbehave. Cowboys go to bed and listen to their daddy’s.”

 

Tears fill Dean’s eyes and Castiel almost gives in. Almost. He remains strong, though. It’s late and he’s exhausted and Dean’s already woken the baby up twice with all of his ruckus. Gabriel might suffocate Castiel in his sleep if his son wakes Sam up again. 

 

Looking forlorn, Dean whispers, “I no wanna be da bad guy, daddy.”

 

“Then don’t be. It’s not too late.” Castiel gets down on one knee so he can look his little one in the eye. “You can’t be tired, anyway. You’re going to have to ride your horsey and fight the bad guys again in the morning. If you’re tired, the bad guys might win!”

 

That’s what does it. 

 

The bad guys cannot win. 

 

Even as a toddler, Dean Winchester refuses to let such a thing occur. 

 

With a gasp, Dean runs into his daddy’s arms and wraps himself around his torso. “I go bed wight now! I be a good cowboy, daddy!”

 

In eleven minutes Dean is in his bed with a fresh diaper and a pacifier in his mouth. His bare tummy is full of grace milk as it sticks out between the two flaps of his vest and his cowboy hat is falling over half of his face. He’s fast asleep. 

 

 With a sweet sweet smile of victory, Castiel heads to bed.  

Notes:

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