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What in the ever-loving hell? 

Bakugou woke up, and his head was throbbing. The last thing he remembered was being at that damn wedding and then drinks being handed out. It was open bar-- and he sure as fuck was going to drink all he could. Best man or not-- Kirishima had put him through so much shit leading up to the wedding, he deserved a drink… or twelve. 

They had all been graduated and moved well on into their hero careers. A year ago, Kirishima had come to him, telling him Tetsutetsu had finally popped the question. He felt like this train wreck was never ending. So yeah, he drank, and drank a lot at the reception. It was all of their old classmates and Tetsutetsu’s classmates there-- mingled with family. 

Sitting up, the room was dark, and his tongue felt thick in his mouth. Grabbing his head and it felt like a sledgehammer was going off. Why the hell did he drink so much last night?

He couldn’t even focus his eyes and it felt like the room wanted to spin on him. Jumping out of the bed, he ran into the bathroom-- throwing up. He was never drinking again-- that was it. Though after getting sick, his head was still splitting, but he felt a bit steadier on his feet. Rinsing his mouth, he moved out of the small bathroom and back into his hotel room. 

Wait… why was he naked? Looking down, Bakugou saw he had his socks on, but that was it. Moving back to the bathroom, he turned on the light then cursed his aching head once more. There were marks all up and down his neck. Turning, he saw nail marks on his lower back. 

What the fuck?

Peaking out back into the room, there was a lump in the bed. 

Oh good heavens. He had hooked up with someone last night. He hated when he got black out drunk-- because black out drunk Bakugou is a very horny Bakugou. Scratching his stomach, he turned off the bathroom light and moved back to the bed. Maybe if he slept a little more, he could remember a few things… and exactly who he fucked. 

 


 

Something was heavy on his chest, and hair was tickling his nose. Rubbing his nose with his hand, he felt sot hair resting against his face. The room was still dark, and he could barely make out who he was in bed with. 

Their body was smaller, and quite heavy. He didn’t care and wrapped his arms around the warmth-- not caring about the soft snoring in his ear. 

Then there was some mumbling… very distinctive mumbling. 

He knew this mumbling. He knew this voice. 

Oh, what the hell?

Pushing the person off of him, Bakugou sat up and turned on the side table lamp. Groaning from the lump in the bed-- with wild, green hair. 

Deku. 

He could tell Midoriya wasn’t (at least) wearing a shirt, and there were bite marks on his shoulder.

“You’ve got to be shitting me?!” he exclaimed, hating his head ached still. Yeah, he was never drinking again.

More groaning and Midoriya turned, blinking large green eyes over his way. “Kacchan?” 

“What the fuck are doing in my bed?” he asked. 

“I am pretty sure this is my room,” Midoriya said, then rolled over and sat up. “Oh, my head.” 

“No! This is my room, you damn nerd!” he growled. 

“Kacchan… my head,” Midoriya said, sliding back under the covers. It took a moment then Midoriya shot up out of the bed and was looking around. “Where are my clothes?!” 

Looking around-- clothes were everywhere . The dresser, the television, the chair in the corner-- and he also saw a suitcase that clearly was not his. Ok, so maybe they were in Midoriya’s room. 

Running around the room, Midoriya desperately tried to find his underwear. Grabbing what he thought were his, Bakugou shook his head as he put them on. 

“These are yours!” Midoriya cried, then his hands went to his lower back. “My back is killing me.” More mumbling as Midoriya tried to figure out what was going on. 

“You damn nerd, we obviously hooked the fuck up in a drunken stuper,” he finally yelled.

Midoriya yelped and about jumped through the roof. “No! No no no!” Midoriya yelled, then stared down. “These are not my underwear!” Apparently, Midoriya was going to fixate one whose underwear he was or was not wearing.

“No shit, those are mine,” Bakugou said. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, still in Bakugou’s underwear, Midoriya hissed. It made Bakugou slightly smirk-- and thankful he did not remember much from the previous night. “I think… we did hook up,” Midoriya mumbled. 

He couldn’t even look him in the eye. Bakugou noticed how red his neck was getting and how he started to chew his nails. Rolling his eyes, Bakugou went to lay back down. “I’m going back to sleep.”

“But you’re still in my room!” Midoriya yelped. 

“And I have no clue where your fucking room is compared to mine. My head aches, and we already fucked apparently… I’m tired and hungover.” 

He heard Midoriya yelp and move around the room. Apparently Midoriya was not going back to sleep. 

“Um… Kacchan,” Midoriya mumbled. 

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” he growled. 

“No really… Kacchan!” Midoriya said louder then started screaming. It made Bakugou groan and cover his head with a pillow. When Midoriya didn’t stop, he sat up, throwing the pillow at him, and sparking his hands-- ready to blast him into the next room.

“What the fuck is your problem, Deku?!”

Midoriya was white as a ghost. All the blood in his body had left his face and he was stumbling a bit. In his hand was some paper and Bakugou also noticed Midoriya was no longer mumbling. This definitely was not good if Midoriya actually shut up for a moment. 

Crawling from the bed, Bakugou reached out and snatched the paper from Midoriya’s hand. 

A wedding certificate? 

What?

Bakugou just blankly stared at the paper-- not comprehending what he was reading. It clearly stated his name, and that damn nerds. 

Married.

Married?

He married Deku?

Blinking his eyes, he felt his hands sparking then Midoriya was grabbing the paper from him. 

“Kacchan, what did we do?” Midoriya whispered, holding the paper once more, and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

Bakugou was frozen. His mind was not accepting any of this. 

“Ohmygod we have rings!” Midoriya yelped. 

Blinking his eyes, Bakugou was confused as he looked at his hand-- a gold band. 

What the fuck?

“Married?” he finally spoke. 

“Kacchan!” Midoriya yelled, “We need to fix this!” 

Nodding his head, he was still numb. Moving to the bedside, he found his phone and turned it on. For some reason it had been off. 

He had twenty missed calls from his publicist and three from their agencies. His social media had exploded as well. 

“Kacchan!” Midoriya yelled, holding his own phone-- but all Bakugou could do was blink mindlessly at his screen. 

“How the fuck did we get married? Who would marry people that drunk?” he asked, more to himself than to Midoriya.

“Oh no, oh no!” Midoriya yelped. “Our agency and my publicist has been calling!” 

Bakugou nodded, still not taking it all in. Setting his phone down, he looked at his hand again-- and that damn gold band on his finger. 

Married? 

“Maybe we can get it annulled,” Midoriya said. 

“Annulled… yeah, we can do that,” Bakugou said, his mind slowly coming back at him. He wished he could remember what the fuck happen last night. What he remembered was alcohol-- a lot of alcohol. For fuck sake-- he didn’t even know Midoriya had been to the gotdamn wedding!

“Let’s call our publicists and see what they can do,” Midoriya said. 

Bakugou started going through his notifications on his phone. That was when he saw on in particular that caught his eye. ‘Live Stream of Two Top Heroes Tying the Knot!’ 

“Deku,” Bakugou growled, then clicked on the link-- sure enough, there they were. At some chapel, in some love hotel-- confessing their love as they held each other tightly. What the hell?

Midoriya looked over at him, his phone to his ear as he hummed and nodded. Bakugou handed over his phone and Midoriya waved him away. 

“Deku! We live streamed the fucking wedding!” Bakugou yelled. 

“Let me call you back,” Midoriya said, hanging up. “What?” 

“Take the fucking phone and look!” 

They were clearly not sober in the video, and it looked as if a few others from their former UA class were there as witnesses. It seemed as if they were all overly drunk. 

 

Bakugou, Katsuki! Do you take Midoriya, Izuku to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the man said. 

“Fuck yeah I do!” Baugou said, staring at Midoriya as his body swayed a bit where he stood. 

“And Midoriya, do you take Bakugou to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I… yeah… I do!” Midoriya said, then hiccuped. 

“You may now kiss your husband!” 

Cheering from a the couple of classmates that had attended, then Bakugou was grabbing the back of Midoriya’s head-- and giving him the lewdest fucking kiss he had ever seen. 

 

“Oh fuck my life!” Bakugou growled, falling back on the pillow. What the hell had he done? 

His publicist was going to kill him. 

“We can fix this! Annul it!” Midoriya said. 

“Let’s get dressed and figure this shit out,” Bakugou said, his head aching in a different way now.