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Insomnia

Chapter Text

 

Chapter 1.

 

Expensive mistakes.

 

Around six years ago.

"Get out of my apartment!" Kylo growled, throwing the glass of water he held in his hands to the wall. "Get the fuck out of here!"

"Kylo..." Rey whispered, tears falling down from her hazel eyes he loved so...

I don't love her! I don't love anyone!

Was it true though? Kylo didn't have the courtesy to linger on this thought. His decision had been made. He didn't need Rey in his life anymore.

"I am Professor Ren to you. And if you want to have a chance to pass your finals this year, I suggest you remember that, Miss Niima! Now, get! The fuck! Out! OF HERE!"

Rey's body was shaking, he could see, and Kylo suppressed the urge to rush to her and hold her.

He had to stay calm.

Suddenly, Rey turned to him.

"You are a monster," she hissed, and her words stung deeply. Rey had always been the one who insisted Kylo was a good man. Well, it seemed, she finally had to face the truth…

"Yes, I am," he hissed at her, and Rey flinched, tears rolling down her face.

Sobbing desperately, she gathered her things and rushed away from the apartment, slamming the door shut behind her back.

He tried to convince himself that this was the only right thing to do. Kylo had worked too hard to let this girl ruin his efforts. Why then did it seem like the sun stopped shining above him when she walked out of that door?...

The morning before.

"Kylo, my boy," Snoke smiled pleasantly at him. "Come on in, come on in!"

"Doctor Snoke," Kylo nodded, sitting on the chair across the table from the old man.

Snoke had been his mentor for more than a decade. Because of his old Master, Kylo's name was known across the world now. They had met each other at Mustafar University and were currently both working there. Well, part time, at least. Their research methods on stem cells was quoted in every popular magazine on both sides of the Pacific and Atlantic oceans.

Aside from his educational work, Snoke owned a company called "the First Order", the most significant player in the beauty industry in the country that headed to world domination. Kylo had been studying stem cells for years when Snoke noticed him, and the research of the younger man had caught the old Doctor's attention. Andrew Snoke had given Kylo a good position in his company in exchange for some of his ideas. The ideas that Snoke had helped to make famous. 

Yes, it probably hadn't been Kylo's initial goal to invent something for the beauty industry, but Snoke insisted that it would make more profit and it did. All superior beauty brands used Snoke's and Kylo's research. There were a lot of old and rich people who wanted to stay young and live forever. "The First Order" couldn't give them forever, but it was able to give them longer. And those people were ready to pay a lot of money for that.

Most of the breakthrough inventions were Kylo's, but he knew perfectly well that he would be no one without his Master.

"I have tremendous news for you, my boy," Snoke grinned at him. "What we were waiting for for so long is finally happening."

"Hux?" Kylo raised his brow.

"Indeed."

It was exciting news! They had been waiting for so long for that!

Hux was a government lobbyist who was very close to the Healthcare department. Kylo had spent the previous two years trying to reach him, and when he finally did, Armitage Hux had started playing hard to get. What Snoke wanted from that redhead bastard was access to the federal system of tenders for pharmacy contracts. Snoke aimed high. As it was said, his company worked for rich and old people, and there were far too many rich and old people in the Government. Finally, after the latest elections, when the new President, ancient and crazy, had suddenly won, the Government had become corrupted enough for Snoke to act, and that was the moment when Hux felt safe enough to seal the deal with Kylo's old Master. "The First Order" was going to own the beauty industry in the country. After all, the President was also old and very rich. And he also wished to stay young forever.

This news meant one more thing to Kylo. Snoke had promised to give him a significant share in his company with an opportunity to have 51% of the stock in the future. Snoke considered Kylo a son that he’d never had, and the old man had promised to grant this promotion to his apprentice when Kylo had proven he deserved it. And Kylo did his best to prove that he deserved it.

Kylo’s own family had never acknowledged him. The only man who trusted in him was Snoke, and Kylo was ready to do everything possible to prove himself worthy.

Snoke didn't have other sons. He had a daughter who was working for "the First Order’s" Australian branch, but Kylo realized that his Master didn't think the woman was worthy enough.

Snoke had always wanted a son, and Bazine was no man. 

However, Kylo was. And "the First Order" was meant to become his one day. He would make sure of it. Now, with the development of the situation with Hux, the situation that Kylo had made possible, Snoke would finally acknowledge that his apprentice was worthy enough. And Kylo couldn't wait for it!

"You did a great job here, my boy," Snoke nodded at him, and Kylo felt excitement spreading over his chest. Here it was, his moment of glory! "And we can finally discuss your promotion."

"I am happy to hear…"

"Quiet!" Snoke barked at him, and Kylo realized he had done wrong. His old Master hadn't finished, and Snoke hated to be interrupted. So Kylo closed his mouth and listened respectfully. "There is just one thing that worries me, my boy," the old man’s voice was calmer now, but it still made Kylo tense. "I've noticed… you've been distracted lately."

"I don't know what you mean, Doctor Snoke," Kylo shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. Truth be told, he had an idea but was nervously hoping that he was wrong.

"You are distracted," Snoke pressed. "And I think we both know what, or should I say who, causes this distraction…"

Kylo looked at his Master inquiringly.

"This girl… Your student, I must admit, is not good for you… Not to mention you can lose your job and reputation if your relationship comes into the open before she graduates. Truth be told, I should report you to the Dean of the University, but I know we all make mistakes sometimes… And you should fix this mistake as soon as possible, my boy."

Kylo froze. So Snoke knew?! For how long?! Had anyone else noticed? 

They'd been seeing each other for more than two years now, and Kylo felt something towards the girl he didn't want to feel right now. He had been persuading himself that it was still a casual thing, that Rey was just a good way to spend his free time. But in the last two years, she'd been spending way too much time with him, never asking for anything, just taking what he gave her. And he… He had probably gotten used to her way too much.

And the thing that terrified Kylo most of all was that maybe they weren't so casual any longer…

He shook his head.

No! No! He had spent too many years to get to where he was now, he couldn't let anyone stand in the way to his dream.

"She is no one to me," he hissed through gritted teeth, suppressing the sting of pain in his chest.

"Good," Snoke shrugged. "Then end things with her as soon as possible. After all, you'll definitely need to get married one day, and you’ll have to choose your wife wisely. An orphan from nowhere is not good enough for you." 

Kylo tensed even more… Of course, Snoke had done research… Of course, he knew everything about Rey…

Kylo knew his Master was a voice of reason here, but, nevertheless, the old man’s words made Kylo angry.

 

"Sleep, Rey…"

"I am so tired, Daddy… You are so good to me…"

"Oh, am I now?"

Her voice was quiet, and Kylo realized Rey was falling asleep already.

"You are. Everyone treats me like I am nothing. Like the fact that I am an orphan or have no money makes me unworthy… Like I am not good enough for them…"

He kept silent, listening to her breathing getting more profound.

"Maybe, I am nothing…" she murmured before falling asleep completely.

He didn't say a word for several more minutes.

"Not to me…"

 

Kylo shook his head, suppressing the memory. His Master was right: he had become distracted. He had become soft. Kylo was mad at himself!

"To be the best, you need to be strong, my boy," Snoke sighed. "Your parents and your uncle thought you were weak, but I always believed otherwise…"

"I will not fail you," Kylo hissed.

"Then prove it, boy!" Snoke suddenly cried. "Do the right thing and do not disappoint me!"

Kylo froze, coping with the pain that his Master's words had brought him. He then nodded and walked out of the room, clenching his fists. He knew what he had to do. 

"And, Kylo," Snoke's voice stopped him on the threshold, and Professor Ren looked at his Master over his shoulder. "Don't worry… Beautiful women are not a problem. I already have a good match for you, son..." 

Three days later.

Rey felt dizzy. Her dizziness was usually stronger in the morning, but now, in the evening it still bothered her. Too bad she had no money or insurance to visit a doctor. When the dizziness had started, Rey had thought that she had eaten something wrong. However, now, after a week, it was still there, and Rey was worried.

She shook her head. She had to make it through the day. Waiters at Snoke's reception were paid well, and she needed the money. Her Daddy... Professor Ren, Rey had to remind herself, had been paying for her needs, but he had never given her much pin-money. He had paid for everything himself.

Kylo had always been afraid of complicating things, so while Rey was with him, she never needed anything, but now, when he was gone, with all her expenses and the cost of books, she would soon be broke again if she didn't work. She had always liked working, though, never stopping even when she’d had Kylo, but her savings were low, and she needed to make more money now. And Rey would make it through today. Even if it meant that she had to face him.

Their breakup had hurt so badly! She was still in pain… Rey tried to tell herself that Professor Ren had never promised her anything.

 

"This will be a casual thing," he said to her. "A casual thing, but we will both benefit from it. I won't be treating you differently from other students, and on-campus everything will remain the same. But in the safety of my apartment, you will be mine: to please and to take care of you… You'll be staying with me for a couple of nights per week, letting me have my ways with you. You will like it, I promise. While you are with me, I will be taking care of you. I will feed you (sometimes from my hands). I will be buying you things, and you will accept my presents… We can discuss our arrangement later at my place…"

"But…" she tried to interrupt.

"And you will speak only when I let you speak!" Kylo stopped her sternly.

Rey nodded, not really understanding why she was still sitting there, in his office.

"You may ask your question now."

"But what do you get out of it?" she whispered, looking up at him and noticing his Adam’s apple bob for a second.

"I will also get my benefits from our arrangement," he smiled and then, suddenly, leaned closer to her, reaching for her thigh, caressing the inner side of it and making Rey shiver. "Believe me," he whispered hoarsely. "We will both benefit from it, I told you that already," he sighed then, and Rey realized she was sitting in front of him her mouth agape and her cunt completely drenched. Professor Ren caressed her thigh, tracing his way to the soft place between her legs. It was so wrong... But it felt amazing…

Ren smirked when his palm cupped her pussy, and Rey shivered like she was hit by electricity. Her Professor grinned. He was so close to her now that she could smell traces of whiskey in his sweet breath. "Oh, I could see you reacting to me every time you entered the classroom..." He murmured. "I know you want it... And I can give it to you. All you need is to agree to accept my offer to discuss this arrangement. So, tell me, Rey," it was the first time he had called her by her given name, and the girl’'s vision blurred. "Do you agree?"

"Yes."

 

It had been so long ago, and yet, it seemed like it had only been yesterday. Rey tried her best not to think about it any longer. Sighing and fighting her nausea, she entered the reception hall, a tray of champagne in her hands.

She moved around the guests, offering people, who didn’t even notice her, their drinks.

"Excuse me?" she heard a woman's voice behind her back.

Turning around, Rey almost dropped her tray.

There he was, impeccable as usual. Professor Kylo Ren stood in front of her in his glorious Hugo Boss suit. Rey's heart skipped a bit.

His face was blank.

Kylo looked at her like he didn't know her, and Rey felt her eyes watering. By his side, there was a gorgeous woman, looking at Rey frowning.

"Can I get a glass of champagne, please?" the woman asked, annoyed.

"Yes... Of course, I'm sorry," Rey murmured, handing the tray to the beauty. Professor Ren also took a glass and was about to turn away from her, leaving Rey's heart shattering when she heard another voice.

"Oh, Miss Niima?" slowly, Rey turned around to face the man who called her.

"Dr. Snoke?"

She had only met Dr. Andrew Snoke once, at one of the University meetings, and was very surprised now that he knew her name. Snoke was one of Mustafar University's brightest minds and also Kylo's boss. Rey was speechless in front of the man.

"Oh, it's good to see young people working hard to provide themselves with a better future," suddenly Rey saw Kylo flinch at the old man's words. It was so strange...

"I... Uhm... Yes... Thank you?" she didn't know what to say to that.

"Oh, don't mind me!" it seemed, Dr. Snoke didn't really need her answer. He looked very cheerful, but for some reason, it chilled Rey to the bones.

 

"It sounds like your boss is an evil man."

"He is a powerful man. The most powerful man I've ever known." 

 

Kylo stood there, tense, but Rey couldn't look at him anymore. She concentrated on Dr. Snoke just to survive the next couple of minutes and then run away.

"I am just happy to see my daughter and this man, whom I consider my son, here, together," Rey tensed at these words. "Who knows, maybe I can hope for something," Snoke winked at her, and Rey almost screamed.

It hurt so badly...

"Oh, father!" Snoke's daughter rolled her eyes, smirking. "That's definitely not something to be discussed with a waitress!"

Rey lowered her eyes, but before she averted her gaze, she noticed the woman leaning closer to Kylo teasingly. Kylo smiled at the beauty, and Rey barely contained her tears.

"Of course, of course!" Snoke waved his daughter off. "Have a good evening, Miss Niima!" 

With that the three of them left, Kylo not even looking at her.

Rey's nausea intensified. Putting the tray on a table near her, she hurried away from the room. Breathing deeply, Rey tried not to vomit on an expensive rug under her feet. In the kitchen, she leaned against the doorjamb. Rey felt sick.

Suddenly she heard loud voices from another side of the kitchen.

"Get your hands off of me!"

"Get the hell out of here!"

There was an Asian girl, held by two men in suits whom Rey had already seen around the house today. They had to be a part of a security team that all the waiters had been informed about earlier. When they'd been instructed not to steal anything. Now, the guards were obviously trying to kick the girl out of here. Through her dizziness, Rey looked at her closely.

The girl looked familiar. Rey had seen her at several parties that she had attended on campus. As far as Rey remembered, those parties had been organized by the faculty of Journalism. 

"Don't touch me!" the girl cried.

"Get the fuck out of here before we press charges against you!"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Oh, of course, you didn't!"

"You all are going to pay for that! You and your corrupt boss!"

"This is a final warning! Get the hell out of here!"

The girl tried to fight the guards, but they pushed her away, and she almost lost her balance. In the heat of the fight, she didn't notice her phone falling down on the floor from her pocket. Two seconds, and the guards kicked the girl out. On wobbly legs, Rey walked to the phone and picked it up... The screen was black. Maybe, she could find this girl later and give it back to her... It was not good to lose an expensive phone like that...

Rey's mind was blurry, and suddenly she felt the vomit bursting out of her. She rushed away from the kitchen and barely made it to the nearest bathroom.

Clenching the girl's phone in her hands several minutes later, Rey was drying her mouth with the back of her hand. Something was so terribly wrong with her... A thought hit her, and Rey closed her eyes and started to count...

***

Two years prior.

He was looking through the list in front of him, suppressing a yawn. So many more faces. Most of them wouldn't make it through this year, he would make sure of it. 

Kylo would never admit it, but he loved teaching. He liked to see students working hard and committing themselves to the subject. The brightest of them would also serve his and Dr. Snoke's purposes, and that made Kylo smile. He would never deny the fact that he liked following his Master's example, trying to take whatever these bright minds could give them. It was the law of survival: only the strongest survived. And if those fools were not smart enough to protect their ideas – it was entirely their fault. However, if a student was not only smart enough to catch his or Dr. Snoke's attention, but could also take care of his intellectual property, they could all benefit from their arrangements.

Kylo smiled to himself, looking at the list. He was a predator and many of these students would either become his prey or a part of his pack.

It was time to start the lecture and Kylo rose from his chair, looking at the audience. Suddenly, a student caught his gaze. He hadn't even noticed how his Adam's apple bobbed at the sight of her.

Soft brown hair, a freckled face without any make-up. She looked so young, and so fresh, and so very delicious in her cheap oversized sweater.

Suddenly, the girl raised her eyes and looked up at him. He could see her gasping in surprise, and for a second she froze, not moving and watching him. Then, just as if she had remembered herself, the girl lowered her gaze, and to his own satisfaction, Kylo saw the tips of her ears blushing. He smirked inwardly, consuming her with his stare.

Delicious, he thought. Utterly delicious…