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Wei Wuxian’s Kidnapping Back and Forth Farce (Starring Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji)

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Wei Wuxian’s Kidnapping Back and Forth Farce (Starring Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji)
by misscam


(Only Wei Wuxian could manage to get himself into a situation like this, truly.

Being kidnapped could happen to anyone, sure. Being kidnapped by his brother, slightly more uncommon, and being kidnapped from his brother by His Excellency Hanguang Jun, that is a rare feat indeed.

If it only the kidnappings stopped there, but alas, they did not. Truly, only Wei Wuxian could manage to get himself into a kidnapping back and forth farce.

Jiang Cheng just wants to mend things. Lan Zhan just wants to start things. Neither is willing to let the other have the last say when it comes to Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian… Well. He’d rather like to have both a (to be) husband and a brother, actually.

He just needs to figure out how.)


Wei Wuxian wakes up in Lotus Pier and panics.

It’s not that Lotus Pier isn’t still beautiful – it is as beautiful as ever, and even if it wasn’t, nostalgia would keep it ever lovely. It isn’t that Lotus Pier holds too many painful memories to visit – it holds painful memories, yes, but there are so may good ones too, and they balance out. It isn’t that he wouldn’t want to – in his heart, Lotus Pier will always be a home, even if it isn’t a home he can stay in.

Wei Wuxian wakes up in Lotus Pier and panics because he isn’t supposed to be here. He very carefully avoided Lotus Pier on his travels through Yunmeng, very mindful not to piss off a Jiang Cheng who no longer seemed to want to murder him on the spot.

A Jiang Cheng now starting down at him in anger. He’s at Jiang Cheng’s feet in a room that is certainly Lotus Pier, and shit, oh shit.

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian exclaims. He tries to jump to his feet, but nearly trips in the attempt as he realizes his hands are bound. “Jiang Cheng…”

“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says. Strangely, he reaches down to help Wei Wuxian stand. His lips curl. “How dare you travel through Yunmeng and not even tell me!”

“Jiang Cheng…”

“How dare you travel through Yunmeng and leave without visiting!”

“Jiang Cheng…”

“How dare you take Jin Ling out on several night hunts without me!”

“Two night hunts,” Wei Wuxian corrects. He holds up a finger. “One night was just… a night out. No hunting. Maybe a little bit of alcohol. A little bit.”

“Wei Wuxian!”

“Right, right, right,” Wei Wuxian says, and sighs. “Have you kidnapped me to berate me and beat me up? Couldn’t you just have done that without the kidnapping?”

“I haven’t kidnapped you to beat you up!” Jiang Cheng hisses. “But if you keep whining about it I just might!”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian says. He blinks. “Why have you kidnapped me?”

Jiang Cheng balls his fists. Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath. “… You are my brother. When you visit Yunmeng, you should stay at Lotus Pier. As guest.”

“You kidnapped me to have me as your guest?” Wei Wuxian says, and Jiang Cheng nods sourly. “What a Jiang Cheng take on hospitality.”

“You…!” Jiiang Cheng says, but in a tone that reminds Wei Wuxian of days in Lotus Pier long ago, when Jiang Cheng was angry and exasperated, but fondly so, not the venom and hate of later years.

Is… Is Jiang Cheng trying to… Wanting to… find some way back to what they had?

The thought makes Wei Wuxian’s heart ache a little. After the events at the temple, he was content to let things rest there, truly. He was content to know Jiang Cheng at least now understood, and that Jiang Cheng could perhaps even move on. After all, Wei Wuxian has always tried to look forward as much as possible, not to lose himself in past regrets.

It seems one past regret is unwilling to let him go.

“Me,” Wei Wuxian agrees, and Jiang Cheng looks at him, then grunts. “If I agree to be kidnapped as a guest, will you untie me?”

Jiang Cheng nods, and Wei Wuxian nods back, and finds his hands cut loose moments later. He rubs his wrist slightly, taking in the room. It is one of the better guest rooms at Lotus Pier, and he feels strangely touched by that.

“Change. You smell like donkey,” Jiang Cheng says. “Then dinner. Don’t be late.”

Wei Wuxian nods dutifully. Giving orders as a sect leader rather becomes Jiang Cheng, he finds. “Say, where is Lil’ Apple?”

“Stables,” Jiang Cheng says. “Your ass of a donkey actually kicked me.”

Wei Wuxian keeps himself from laughing at that, but he can’t keep himself from commenting. “Lil’ Apple is a fierce defender of me. Brave, bold – unafraid to kick even a mighty sect leader in my defense! He is a true marvel, don’t you think? Wei Wuxian’s wonder donkey!”

“Nonsense,” Jiang Cheng says, and stomps out. “Don’t be late!”


Wei Wuxian spends a rather nice week at Lotus Pier, actually. Sure, Jiang Cheng yells and blusters a lot whenever they talk, and there are several tense moments between them – when Jiang Cheng walks in on Wei Wuxian kneeling in the Jiang ancestral hall, but after looking murderous, just leaves him to it; when Wei Wuxian discovers Jiang Cheng has kept Wei Wuxian’s room just as it was when he left; when Jin Ling comes for dinner and spends it trying to balance not pissing off one uncle and humoring the other and not quite managing; when Wei Wuxian cradles a bowl of soup that doesn’t quite taste as it should and fights away tears, and Jiang Cheng looks on the verge of tears too.

Even so, it is a nice week. There is a lot of food, properly spicy food, and Wei Wuxian allows himself to indulge in that. Jiang Cheng demands his presence for dinner every day, but otherwise allows him his own time – to go boating, to hang out with Jin Ling, to wander the markets, to sit on a pier and remember happier days. It is such a good tactic that Wei Wuxian becomes extremely suspicious, breaks into Jiang Cheng’s room, and discovers that yes, Jiang Cheng is in fact following a Lan Xichen list of how to deal with a brother that Lan Xichen has apparently sent him (on Jiang Cheng’s request), and everything makes a lot more sense suddenly.

A nice week, really. He would have been content to have more nice weeks like that.

He won’t; he gets kidnapped again.


Wei Wuxian awakes to find himself not in a guest room at Lotus Pier, and spends a few seconds utterly, utterly confused.

Did he just dream the week at Lotus Pier? Did he get kicked out while he slept? Did he drink so much he fell asleep in a different room? No, this is a room at an inn, and surely, he can’t have managed to get drunk enough that he wandered out of Lotus Pier entirely?

“You’re awake,” a voice says, and Wei Wuxian startles and bolts upwards so quickly he rolls out of the bed and lands ungracefully at the floor. He knows that voice. He thinks of that voice far, far too much. He likes that voice, especially when it says his name.

(He might do more than like that voice, but he doesn’t dare think about that too much.)

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, kneeling down by him, looking worried. “Are you hurt?”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. His knees hurt a little, yes, but that doesn’t matter. He stares at Lan Zhan, as if to drink in the sight, feeling strangely hot and breathless. Lan Zhan is dressed in white, as always, looking as if he is illuminated by moonlight, as always, his gaze making Wei Wuxian want to smile, as always.

Lan Zhan.

“Lan Zhan!” he exclaims happily. “You’re here! Or I am here. Wait, where is here?”

Lan Zhan takes a moment to answer. He is looking Wei Wuxian up and down, frowning slightly, still looking worried. “Are you hurt?”

Wei Wuxian blinks at him. “I just fell out of bed. I’m fine. Why are you so concerned about me being hurt?”

“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Zhan says, and there is definite anger in his voice, and oh. Oh.

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Wei Wuxian insists. He puts a hand on Lan Zhan’s arm, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “He hasn’t hurt me at all, I promise! It’s not like before. No Purple Lightning, I promise.”

“He. Kidnapped. You,” Lan Zhan says, every word cutting. “Brother told me. I came as soon as I heard.”

“He kidnapped me to have me as his guest!” Wei Wuxian hurries to say. “I know, I know, that’s dumb, but it’s Jiang Cheng, and he is dumb like that. Lan Zhan, I am fine. I swear to you I am fine. He even kept Lil’ Apple fed.”

Lan Zhan seems to mull that over, which gives Wei Wuxian a chance to think as well. Lan Zhan came as soon as he heard? Isn’t he terribly busy being His Excellency? Was Lan Zhan actually afraid he’d lose Wei Wuxian again?

“You came as soon as you heard,” he says, and Lan Zhan gives a slight nod. “What about…”

“Wei Ying matters more,” Lan Zhan says, and Wei Wuxian swallows and swallows again. Just how much does he matter to Lan Zhan, exactly? Didn’t the possibility of doing good as His Excellency matter more?

“Lan Zhan?” he asks softly, and his voice sounds odd and far too thick. Lan Zhan merely nods, as if accepting something. He takes Wei Wuxian’s hand in his, intertwining their fingers, watching their linked hands and nodding again, as if he’s made a decision.

Wei Wuxian feels his heart race.

“Missed Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says slowly, every word sounding deliberate and weighted, almost rehearsed. “Wei Ying matters more. Wei Ying matters most. Never want to let Wei Ying go again – unless Wei Ying wants it.”

Wei Wuxian can feel his heart soar. He beams stupidly, and Lan Zhan gives him a faint, soft smile in return. “Never?”


Never, Wei Wuxian thinks, and his heart doesn’t just race; it jumps off the tracks. Oh, he’s tried hard to look forward and not look back, not regret Lan Zhan walking one way and he another, but… It seems another past regret is unwilling to let him go, and Wei Wuxian doesn’t want him to. “Never sounds good.”

Lan Zhan nods and exhales, closing his eyes for a moment. His lashes are dark and long, and Wei Wuxian wonders if they’ll feel as soft as they look, feeling a strange itch to find out.

“Jiang Cheng is going to have a fit,” Wei Wuxian says after a moment, leaning back against the bed and laughing lightly. “His Excellency breaking into Lotus Pier to kidnap the Yiling Patriarch from under his clan leader nose and never letting him go? He is going to have four thousand fits.”

“Hn,” Lan Zhan says. He doesn’t sound terribly upset by that.


Wei Wuxian spends a rather good week travelling with Lan Zhan again.

They take their time. They walk the countryside with Lil’ Apple (as Lan Zhan’s amazing kidnapping skills apparently include donkeys), they explore little towns, they help out with minor matters, they stay at a wide variety of inns, they keep each other company. It is almost like their travels together after Wei Wuxian returned to life, except... Except more.

Lan Zhan now takes Wei Wuxian’s hand and holds it every now and then, always nodding slightly to himself as he does. Lan Zhan still indulges Wei Wuxian his whims, but now, he seems to do it with more determination, more purpose, and even seems to predict them and encourage them. Lan Zhan is still quiet and more of a listener than talker, but when he speaks now, he speaks with more open affection and less restraint.

Wei Wuxian has the oddest feeling of being courted. He even jokes as much one day on the road, and instead of laughing, Lan Zhan takes his hand, leans forward and kisses him.

(As if to say ‘yes, yes, you stupid idiot, you are,’ Wei Wuxian manages to think before his brain shuts down, because Lan Zhan is kissing him.)

It is gentle at first, lips lightly brushing against lips as Wei Wuxian stumbles in surprise, feeling himself pulled into Lan Zhan’s arms and steadied; when Wei Wuxian kisses him back and harder, Lan Zhan makes an indecent noise at the back of his throat. He catches Wei Wuxian’s lower lip between his teeth, scraping lightly, licking lightly, and then licks his way into Wei Wuxian’s mouth and oh, oh.

If this is how Lan Zhan courts, Wei Wuxian is pretty sure he has already been won over, but also that he wants to actively encourage Lan Zhan to never stop courting him. Really, Lan Zhan’s faint smile could be a courtship on its own, Wei Wuxian thinks - and yes, his lashes are as soft as they look, he discovers.

(When they return to the inn, and Lan Zhan goes to order food, Wei Wuxian is not entirely surprised to discover a list of courtship advice written by Lan Xichen tucked into Lan Zhan’s belongings, but he is rather amused.)

All in all, a rather good week ending in an excellent kiss. In fact, he is looking forward to more kisses, more Lan Zhan, more everything.

That’s when he gets kidnapped back, of course.


Wei Wuxian wakes to find himself tied up in a boat being rowed by a furious Jiang Cheng, and blinks in confusion for a moment. He’s meant to be at an inn with Lan Zhan, a Lan Zhan who is now not just Lan Zhan who travels with him, but Lan Zhan who kisses him, a Lan Zhan he has seriously plans to get naked as soon as possible and…

Well, shit.

“Jiang Cheng!” he shouts, and Jiang Cheng grunts. “Why!”

“Being the esteemed Hanguang Jun doesn’t give the Second Jade of Lan the right to kidnap a guest of the Jiang clan,” Jiang Cheng says hotly. “I kidnapped you back. Now shut up. We’re late for dinner.”

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian shouts again. His frustration feels like a hard knot in his chest. “I wasn’t unwilling. I was willing! I was… He’s… He kissed me, Jiang Cheng!”


Wei Wuxian looks down on his hands. Jiang Cheng has tied them with purple ribbons of the Jiang Sect, he realizes, and blinks.

Kissed,” Jiang Cheng says, and the words comes out in a weird combination of strangled and enraged. “Hanguang Jun kissed you. Kissed.”

Wei Wuxian manages to sit up. He looks at Jiang Cheng. “Jiang Cheng, please take me back to Lan Zhan. Unkidnap me. Please. I… I like him. I really like him. Like him like him. I think he likes me. I think…”

“He’s loved you for fucking years,” Jiang Cheng says, and Wei Wuxian opens his mouth and gapes at him. “You think I don’t know? You think I don’t see? You’ve loved him for probably even longer, you absolute moron. Anyone can see that. I’ve had to see too much of it.”

“…” Wei Wuxian gapes at him. What? What?

“Now he kisses you,” Jiang Cheng says sourly. “Now, now you both realize you’re idiots in love, just as I was making plans to... Well, too bad! Whatever Hanguang Jun wants… with you… he will have to approach me as your brother and clan leader you’re staying with and ask to court you properly. Fuck him. He can come to Lotus Pier and ask nicely.”

“…” Wei Wuxian feels bereft of words, which is a fairly uncommon experience, he has to admit. Jiang Cheng knows about… everything, and wants Lan Zhan to court him properly? What? Does Jiang Cheng actually care that much?

“I am your brother, am I not?” Jiang Cheng says after a moment, and beneath the exasperation and anger, Wei Wuxian can hear something uncertain, something afraid.


“You are,” Wei Wuxian acknowledges. He sighs. “How did you manage to kidnap me back, anyway? Last I remember, Lan Zhan was ordering us dinner at the inn.”

“Bribed the inn owner,” Jiang Cheng says. “Managed to get alcohol into His Excellency’s tea. He should probably be waking up about now.”

Wei Wuxian considers that. “You do realize Lan Zhan is going to be absolutely furious with you?”

“Oh yes,” Jiang Cheng says, and sounds utterly, utterly pleased by that.


Wei Wuxian spends the next few days at Lotus Pier torn between frustration and hope.

Jiang Cheng doesn’t put him up in the guest room this time. No, he puts Wei Wuxian in his old room, and starts giving him purple hair ribbons to wear, looking sour whenever he doesn’t. He starts talking Wei Wuxian with him wherever he goes too, which is probably because he’s waiting for Lan Zhan to try something, but Wei Wuxian has the oddest feeling it’s not just that.

Jiang Cheng is treating him almost as he would a brother, as he did once. He even asks for opinion on sect matters, always scoffs at said opinions, but sometimes incorporates them into his choices anyway.

That gives Wei Wuxian hope. A brother again, a brother more than in just name? Oh, he could have moved on without that, been content without that, but he thinks he might be happier if he did have that, if he did have Jiang Cheng, a brother.

The frustration is all Lan Zhan. Wei Wuxian is a lot, lot happier with Lan Zhan, and now, he is without Lan Zhan, which is frustrating enough if it didn’t also feel like they were just about to start something, write a new chapter between them, would soon… Well. A lot of things that make Wei Wuxian have to take cooling baths not to look flushed whenever he thinks of it.

(There is also all the stuff Jiang Cheng said about Lan Zhan loving him, which makes Wei Wuxian’s heart ache with stupid, silly longing to have it confirmed.)

It does not help that Jiang Cheng is apparently making plans for how Hanguang Jun will be allowed to court Wei Wuxian, and everything included is terribly chaste and boring until a wedding, and Wei Wuxian is pretty sure now that he knows how Lan Zhan kisses, not being allowed to kiss will be the cruelest punishment of all time.

Telling Jiang Cheng that doesn’t improve Jiang Cheng’s mood and only makes the plans worse and more boring.

Fortunately, it takes only three days before he is rather impressively kidnapped back back (as it were).


Wei Wuxian wakes to being kissed, and moans happily, sleepily into it. He can feel fingers caressing the back of his neck, pressing him closer, and feel lips parting against his, breathing his name into him.

Lan Zhan, he thinks delighted, deepening the kiss with equal delight, feeling his toes curl and tries to curl his fingers into Lan Zhan’s robes only to find his hands are tied. He whines a protest into Lan Zhan’s mouth, but Lan Zhan only hums in response.

Well. He’s definitely not at Lotus Pier anymore if Lan Zhan is kissing him like this and Jiang Cheng is not screaming somewhere, but Wei Wuxian finds he’s not all that in a hurry to find out where he is.

Not when Lan Zhan tastes like this being kissed, like something Wei Wuxian can’t quite put into words, but feels like all his favorite spices combined, and makes his head swim as well as any good liquor.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan murmurs, pulling back slightly. Wei Wuxian blinks, taking in their surroundings. They’re in a boat, him lying down on a bench, Lan Zhan kneeling by him, the sun bright on the water.

“Lan Zhan,” he says, glancing down at his hands. Lan Zhan has tied them together with his forehead ribbon, and he suspects that is not by chance. Lan Zhan is making a statement. “Kidnapping the Yiling Patriarch again. How shameless.”

Lan Zhan pulls him into his lap as a response, and Wei Wuxian finds himself being kissed rather shamelessly, and oh, how he delights in that. He sighs happily, feeling Lan Zhan rest his hands on his waist and run his fingers in slow circles there. He soon feels breathless and adrift, but he has to admit, he is also increasingly curious about how Lan Zhan managed to kidnap him yet again.

“How?” he asks.

“Brother helped,” Lan Zhan says. “Delivering my intentions to Jiang Cheng. Not asking. Delivering. Jiang Cheng has no right to demand to be asked when it comes to Wei Ying. Only Wei Ying will be asked.”

Wei Wuxian takes a steadying breath. His heart is thundering, and he feels light-headed. “Asked what?”

Lan Zhan takes his tied hands in his, lowering his head to kiss them before looking up at him with bright, bright eyes. “If Wei Ying will be mine. As I will be his.”

His Lan Zhan, Wei Wuxian thinks, and oh, how wonderful that sounds. The thought makes him giddy enough to joke. “Yes! You can even add it to the Gusu Lan sect rules if you want – ‘Wei Ying is Lan Wangji’s’. Your disciples would probably blush every time they have to copy that rule. Your Uncle would probably retire!”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says, slightly exasperated. His voice wobbles slightly as he continues. “If Wei Ying will marry me.”

Wei Wuxian nods, and nods, and nods, not trusting his voice at first. Lan Zhan nods back, and they lean their foreheads against each other, steadying each other, holding each other until Wei Wuxian trusts his voice. “Yes. Been yes a long time.”

Lan Zhan kisses him very softly in response, looking rather pleased by that, Wei Wuxian notes. He grins, and feels his mouth run away with him again. “It is a good thing I am marrying into a sect that masters the silencing spell. Jiang Cheng is going to want to yell for decades about your idea of courtship, Lan Zhan!”

“Mn,” Lan Zhan says. He looks utterly unbothered by that – in fact, he might even look slightly smug.

“He made plans for your courtship,” Wei Wuxian says, huffing at the thought. “Actual serious plans, Lan Zhan! You weren’t allowed to even kiss me before the wedding, not to mention not being allowed to ravish me!”

Lan Zhan’s ears look faintly pink, Wei Wuxian notes. His face manages to go from outraged to thoughtful to defiant in less than a few seconds, though to anyone who didn’t know him, it would probably look like mostly the same expression. Wei Wuxian knows him, though, and can absolutely tell.

“Lan Zhan?” he asks suspiciously.

“Jiang Cheng is not qualified to plan the courtship of Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan declares, and kisses Wei Wuxian with determination, as if to show who is qualified to make such plans – and to carry them out.


Wei Wuxian spends a day pretty much being fucked, or fucking, and it is really glorious.

The first time is on the actual boat Lan Zhan is kidnapping him in, with his hands still tied while Lan Zhan touches and kisses his skin, and Wei Wuxian talks a lot of nonsense until Lan Zhan touches and kisses the whole length of him and takes Wei Wuxian in his mouth, and after that, it’s just noises more than words that come out of Wei Wuxian, really.

The second and third time go together – Wei Wuxian isn’t even sure where one ends and the other begins. He just knows that Lan Zhan feels hard and deep inside him, channeling spiritual energy into him to ease the discomfort of something unfamiliar until it becomes something good, becomes something great, becomes something wonderful. Twice, Lan Zhan paces himself until he can’t, and bites Wei Ying’s name into his skin when his thrusts become frantic, and kisses the marks apologetically afterwards.

Fourth, Wei Wuxian strokes and touches and kisses and palms until he knows every inch of Lan Zhan’s cock by memory, by heart, mapping pleasure, and oh, how much pleasure there is in giving it as well as receiving it.

Fifth, Wei Wuxian buries himself in Lan Zhan as they cocoon themselves in bed, feeling Lan Zhan kiss his shoulder every time Wei Wuxian moves, hearing Lan Zhan moan every time he thrusts, feeling Lan Zhan’s legs around his back, trying to draw him in even deeper. It feels like losing himself and finding himself at once, and afterwards, in Lan Zhan’s arms, it simply feels like home.

A glorious day, really. Every day should be like that, and when he tells Lan Zhan that, Lan Zhan repeats ‘every day’ like a solemn vow.

Every day.

Alas, that very night, Jiang Cheng tries to kidnap Wei Wuxian back back back (as it were) and Wei Wuxian has just about had it with being kidnapped.


“Shameless!” Jiang Cheng declares, and Wei Wuxian tries to bolt out of bed only to find he is still wrapped in Lan Zhan’s arms, so all he manages is to almost flip them both out of bed.

“Clan Leader Jiang,” Lan Zhan says. He sounds impressively cool for a man who is mostly naked, Wei Wuxian notes.

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian says, and looks up at his brother at the entrance of the room to see… Jiang Cheng is bound? Bound by…. One of his talismans? Wei Wuxian can’t even remember seeing Lan Zhan set it up, but then, he did drift off for a good while after… Well, after. And when did he give Lan Zhan that particular talisman? Wasn’t it years ago?

Gently, Lan Zhan eases Wei Wuxian out of his arms, and helps him into his robes, apparently not caring that Jiang Cheng is hissing at the intimacy. Lan Zhan then puts on his own robes before walking up to Jiang Cheng and tilting his head, regarding the talisman’s handiwork with a certain air of approval.

“Using Wei Wuxian’s talismans is cheating!” Jiang Cheng growls at Lan Zhan, who merely raises his chin slightly in challenge. “See how well you can stop me without his tricks!”

Lan Zhan glares at him, gaze icy. “Would make Wei Ying unhappy.”

“Hah, that’s the only reason you’re holding back? You don’t want to make your precious Wei Ying unhappy? Don’t you think I would have had a go at you already if not for him! You infuriating, presumptuous ass!” Jiang Cheng growls and the two glare at each other. “I am taking Wei Wuxian back.”



“Not of your sect anymore.”

“Still my brother!”

Wei Wuxian pinches his nose. His brother and his (now, gloriously) lover fighting over kidnapping him. It’s rather touching, and completely absurd, and he would laugh at it, if it currently wasn’t giving him a headache when really, he would much rather go back to sleep (and then, back to some glorious fucking). Not to mention that both Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan are stubborn enough to keep at this kidnapping back and forth farce for a while yet.

He also rather wants to keep both his brother and his lover when it comes down to it. Sure, he would choose Lan Zhan if it came to that, but… But what if he could have both?

“Lan Zhan,” he says, and Lan Zhan turns around just as Wei Wuxian throws the talisman at him, and the look on his face is one of adorable surprise. He doesn’t even fight as the talisman binds him, just blinks as Wei Wuxian walks up to him and kisses him very softly. “No more kidnapping me.”

“Wei Ying…”

“You heard him,” Jiang Cheng says, sounding pleased, even if he’s still making a face at the kiss. “I’ll take him back to Lotus Pier; you can visit if you ask. Nicely.”

“Both of you,” Wei Wuxian says, and Jiang Cheng immediately opens his mouth to protest. “Shut up, Jiang Cheng. I am kidnapping you both until you’re both more reasonable – and I know just the person to help me.”

Lan Zhan looks suspicious. Jiang Cheng looks annoyed. Wei Wuxian smiles brightly.

There is only one person that Lan Zhan definitely listens to AND Jiang Cheng has revealed himself to follow the advice of, after all.

Lan Xichen.


Wei Wuxian's first morning in a while not being kidnapped feels a bit odd after the last few weeks, but he makes the best of it. He scrunches up his nose and presses it against the rabbit nose again. “Little rabbit, Lan Zhan is getting married! Can you guess to who?”

The rabbit merely shifts its ears slightly.

“To me!” Wei Wuxian declares happily. He pets the rabbit again, ignoring its squirming. He’ll let it go in a moment. Right now, he wants to share his happiness with someone, and the Gusu rabbits will do very well. “After Lan Xichen finishes talking sense into Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng, that is. He's been at it a while, but if anyone can do it, it's him. He is good at sense.”

“I am flattered you think so,” Lan Xichen says, and Wei Wuxian turns around to see Lan Xichen walking towards him, smiling pleasantly. “Young Master Wei, I did not get the opportunity earlier to mention it is good to see you again.”

“Zewu Jun,” Wei Wuxian says, bowing with the rabbit still in his hands. “It is good to see you too.”

“Wangji and Sect Leader Jiang are waiting for you at the jingshi,” Lan Xichen says. “They wish to apologize to you for their behavior. They have agreed that until the wedding, you will be considered my honored guest, and as my honored guest, you will be free to go wherever you wish and any kidnapping will met with my displeasure. The wedding… How do you feel about getting married at Lotus Pier, Young Master Wei?”

Wei Wuxian swallows softly. “Jiang Cheng wanted that?”


“Oh,” Wei Wuxian says. He thinks. “It would be a nice gesture, wouldn’t it?”

“It would,” Lan Xichen says. “Wangji agrees. They both do love you, Young Master Wei. In different ways, and often expressing it in their own, stubborn way, but they do.”

Wei Wuxian does another bow. “Zewu Jun, you are truly worthy of your title and name. Thank you. For everything.”

Lan Xichen smiles. “You make Wangji happy. That is all the thanks I need.”

Wei Wuxian smiles, puts down the rabbit and sprints off. He is out of breath when he reaches the jingshi, and pauses just before the door. There is no yelling, no insults back and forth, but there is no chatter either.

When he walks in, he finds Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan there, pointedly not looking at each other, pointedly not talking. Well. It is a start, at least.

“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says. “Wei Ying, I apologize.”

“You are NOT sorry,” Jiang Cheng says. “Wei Wuxian, I apologize.”

“You are not sorry,” Lan Zhan replies coldly.

“I am not sorry either,” Wei Wuxian cuts in before they can go off again. “Jiang Cheng, thank you for having me as a guest at Lotus Pier. I would like to visit again before the wedding – with Lan Zhan. I would like the wedding to be held there.”

Jiang Cheng looks at him, his expression a complicated mess. Finally, he nods.

“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian continues, turning. “Thank you for coming to find me when you were concerned. Thank you for… For always doing that. I would like to stay with you at Cloud Recesses for a while, take you to Lotus Pier, marry you and never let you go.”

Lan Zhan nods, his face solemn.

“I love you,” Wei Wuxian says, feeling his heart ache with the sentiment. He steps closer. Lan Zhan parts his lips slightly. “A lot. More than a lot. More than anything. I love love you.”

Lan Zhan nods. “I love you, Wei Ying.”

“I. Am. Leaving,” Jiang Cheng declares from beside them, sounding very Not Amused. “I am having tea with Clan Leader Lan and then going back to Lotus Pier and you better visit within two weeks and yes, you can bring him and that other ass of yours too.”

Wei Wuxian bites back a smile. “Yes, Jiang Cheng.”

“No kissing while you’re there!” Jiang Cheng says darkly, and Lan Zhan lifts his chin, and Wei Wuxian realizes he’s now probably going to get kissed about twice as much while at Lotus Pier if Lan Zhan has anything to say about it.

Well. That won’t do.

“What about ravishing?” he calls after Jiang Cheng, who makes a strangled noise and stomps away even more angrily and hurriedly, and Lan Zhan glares defiantly after him.

That’s more like it, Wei Wuxian thinks brightly, and throws his arms around Lan Zhan, kissing him enthusiastically. Twice the kissing, twice the ravishing, and he gets a brother and a (soon-to-be) husband?

That will do indeed.