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2019-08-30
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2023-02-16
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22/23
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Teach Me

Summary:

"So,” his tutor said, “heard you’re having some trouble in school. Guess I’m here to help with that.” There was a pause, “I’m Byleth by the way.” It was then, and only then, that Dimitri finally looked up and instantly his breath was stolen from him. His mouth went dry as his young eyes attempted to take in all that her image had to offer. Before him sat the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his long 14 years of life.

A silly (but heartfelt) modern AU in which a young Dimitri falls head over heels for his tutor, only to meet her many years later as his professor in grad school. Also Sylvain and Felix are in love and finally figure it out and all the Blue Lions + Claude are there.

Notes:

YO, I've literally never written a fanfic LET ALONE POSTED IT HERE SO BEAR WITH ME PLS. I've got about 59,000 words on this sucker so far so...get ready for a long thing here. ALSO SORRY ABOUT THE TITLE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT OK.

Anyways, hey y’all this AU is gonna be tropey and indulgent as fuck. I love me a good bullshit AU full of clichés and laughs so here we are. Some Blue Lions spoilers, especially some relating to Mercedes and Dimitri. Also there will eventually be smut so I'll change the rating when that happens.

Chapter 1: The Tutor

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“I’m certain if I apply myself more I wouldn’t need a tutor. I just have been…slacking lately given”—he coughed—“the circumstances.” While Rodrigue sensed the boy’s hesitation on the matter, he knew that there was no way in hell Dimitri was going to have the will power to catch up on his studies alone, especially not after falling so far behind.

“Dimitri,” Rodrigue kept his voice calm but attempted to fill it with as much warmth as a man like himself could muster, “I don’t doubt your abilities for a second, but help isn’t a bad thing you know. You could do with accepting a little support.” He watched as Dimitri bit his lip and looked off to the side. He could tell the boy was not happy with this arrangement, but was also too polite, and perhaps depressed, to fight it. Dimitri was lacking the energy to do much of anything these days it seemed. With a son like Felix, Rodrigue was not used to such obedience.

“I suppose I don’t have much of a choice then.” Dimitri’s voice was heavy and while Rodrigue wished he could simply allow a kid like him to rest for as long as he needed, life moves on, regardless of who comes with it, and damn it all he had promised Lambert he’d make sure his precious Dimitri found his way in life. He wasn’t about to give up a promise like that. Not now. Not after he’d seen Dimitri struggling to breathe in that hospital bed. Not after they told him he wouldn’t make it. Not after he made it, and was here. Not after everything that had happened that year.

“Come now, it’s not all bad! I’ve found a wonderful tutor I think you’ll like. They’re currently attending their first year at Garreg Mach University so they must know their stuff if they’ve gotten into a school like that.” Dimitri doesn’t answer but no matter, Rodrigue was not the type of man who needed a reply to continue speaking. He was a Fraldarius after all. “I knew their father a while back and he was a fine man, a fine man indeed.” He paused again, awaiting some kind of response and still getting none. “Dimitri,” the boy’s empty gaze finally met his as Rodrigue tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder, “I think this will be good for you.”

 


 

His lanky, awkward 14 year old body was restless in the stiff chair as he awaited his first tutoring session with the mysterious college student Rodrigue had mentioned. Little had been on Dimitri’s mind this past year aside from absolute despair, both emotional and physical, so he was interested in the idea of having something else to focus on. Not that anything seemed to actually be able to hold his attention these days. He supposes that’s what started this whole tutoring business to begin with.

He heard the doorbell ring and continued to sit in his spot, not moving to go introduce himself at the door. The old Dimitri prided himself on his politeness and would’ve rushed to the door, opened it and smiled, but then again, the old Dimitri had parents didn’t he? Lucky bastard.

Rodrigue answered the door in place of Dimitri and ushered the tutor up the stairs and into the study in which Dimitri sat. Rodrigue had already mentioned a few details about the boy to this tutor over the phone, mostly so anything said wouldn’t be out of line or uncomfortable, not that he expected it, but Dimitri was quite sensitive right now. Perhaps Rodrigue had overstepped some boundary there but it was an awkward dance to raise a child who wasn’t quite your own, so he cut himself some slack.

Dimitri didn’t raise his head when he heard the door open, nor did he stir when Rodrigue’s hushed voice said a quick “good luck” and “thank you” to the apparent visitor. He continued to hang his head down, staring at the textbook he had opened mostly as a prop than anything else. He kept his head low even when he heard the light tapping of heels against the floor, and the following sound of wood against wood as his tutor presumably pulled out a chair to sit in. No, Dimitri was set to keep his head down and fists balled until he heard a soft sigh beside him that was followed by a delicate voice as it spoke to him.

"So,” his tutor said, “heard you’re having some trouble in school. Guess I’m here to help with that.” There was a pause, “I’m Byleth by the way.” It was then, and only then, that Dimitri finally looked up and instantly his breath was stolen from him. His mouth went dry as his young eyes attempted to take in all that her image had to offer. Before him sat the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his long 14 years of life. She was…absolutely radiant. Dimitri didn’t fancy himself the romantic type, especially not now, but he was absolutely mesmerized by this beautiful being in front of him. She was a pale moon with dark, soft locks cascading around her face like the open sea, only to be illuminated by wide, emerald eyes. Her spotless skin, looking like porcelain, was so elegant Dimitri would’ve swallowed if he had anything other than awe left in his mouth. He feared if he were to touch her cheek it would crack from him not being worthy enough and much too broken himself. She was looking at him, expectantly, but all he could do was stare, dumbfounded. He had felt absolutely nothing for an nearly an entire year and now suddenly felt everything. It was overwhelming.

“Ah, so I know your name already but I was hoping you’d introduce yourself anyways.” That laugh. Her voice…she certainly must’ve been an angel because a melodic sound such as that couldn’t have come from this mortal realm. Certainly not. Suddenly poetry made sense, the way it played with words in an attempt to describe something so indescribable. Should he become a poet perhaps? Dimitri had never thought of it before, and certainly wasn’t what he considered good with words but…if it could bring him closer towards developing a way to describe the woman in front of him, he would do it in a heartbeat. Ah…but she was addressing him wasn’t she. What had she just said? Her furrowed brows clearly were expecting something from Dimitri but he couldn’t find the answer at all so he responded instead with a smart, calm and absolutely calculated reply.

“Uhhh. What?” Good, Dimitri thought, how elegant.

“Your name?” She quirked her brow in a way that made his heart absolutely race. Of course…what an idiot he was. She had asked for his name!

“D-Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd.” Why in god’s name had he just said his entire name. He had to resist the urge to slam his head into the table before him. She was asking for your first name dummy, not your life’s story. He already felt a flush creeping up his neck.

“Do you want me to call you that whole thing or…” There was a sparkle in her eye as she asked, a lift in her voice. Was she teasing him? How could he be so blessed as to be teased by a goddess such as herself? He was not worthy, surely.

“No I…uh, just Dimitri is fine. Um, and you are?” She frowned at that. It was a subtle thing, just a minor downward quirk of her lips that quickly shifted back into neutrality, but he noticed.

“Did you not hear me before?” He couldn’t admit to her that he had completely blanked when he heard her voice and saw her face. Sorry m’am, I was too entranced by your everything to hear you speak. No that certainly wouldn’t do. The blush had now reached his cheeks and seemed quite happy to settle there where it would be sitting for the next hour or so. Perhaps it would sit there for the rest of his life. “It’s Byleth Eisner. Sorry I don’t have a middle name to add to the flare. Just call me Byleth though.” She was throwing him a lifeline. Byleth. What a beautiful name. Byleth. So beautiful in fact that Dimitri once again just stared at her instead of responding. Byleth. A goddess walking among men surely. Byleth was the sea and he was happy to drown today.

“So,” she began again, “want to show me your homework or something? Your-” she stopped herself suddenly as if she was adjusting what she was going to say, “Mr. Fraldarius gave me some information ahead of time so I’ve got a decent idea of what you’re covering right now, but is there anything you’d like to start with?” Yes, he thought, I’d like to start with marrying you. Right now. Immediately. Marry me Byleth. Byleth Eisner Blaiddyd. Dimitri Alexandre Eisner. Either worked. He wasn’t picky. They could even keep their respective last names! He was never one for upholding silly traditions. No, no he thought, he must compose himself! Right! Homework. Uh, textbooks, class, what was it he was learning now? He had no idea, but then, that was part of his current problem in school anyways right?

“Urm, I don’t have any place I uh…need to start but if you had something in mind I trust your judgement.” His voice cracked at the end. Great. Yet, this being in front of him just gave a tender smile his way. Was it even all that tender? He wasn’t sure, but a smile on her face, no matter the type, was beautiful to him. He immediately found he couldn’t meet her eyes any longer lest he begin to weep at her feet as he pray that she have mercy on his poor soul. She smiled at him. Him! When all he could do was babble at her and stare. He wasn’t making her job easy at all and she smiled. It was so slight, so small, yet he saw it and couldn’t ever un-see such a thing. Never wanted to.

“I’ve already got a whole plan in mind. Let’s start with science and move our way to history and--” Yes. Anything to keep her here with him.

Rodrigue noticed how out of sorts Dimitri was after his first tutoring session. He followed after her and stood there as Rodrigue asked the young woman how it had gone. Dimitri seemed as distant as always but the look in his eyes was just a little less empty. That was new at least.

 


 

It was a rainy afternoon at the Fraldarius residence and Sylvain rolled upon Felix’s bed, kicking a pillow with his foot as his younger friend sat on the floor doing several leg stretches. Sylvain was careful as he thought through the most delicate way to ask about Dimitri, his main reason for coming over today. He finally decided that being blunt was his best course of action. “Hey, how’s Dimitri you think?” Felix paused in his stretches to look at the redhead with absolute disinterest.

“Dunno.” He replied, turning back to his outstretched leg and leaning into it.

“What’s that supposed to mean? He’s basically your brother now I mean-“

“My brother’s dead.” Felix’s quick reply was harsh and filled with a certain kind of venom Sylvain didn’t quite like being the cause of at all.

“Yeah I know,” Sylvain’s tone held a warmth and sincerity to it that Felix all but melted at, despite not meaning to, “but you know what I mean.” He twisted his body to the side, looking directly at Felix this time instead of at the ceiling. “I’m serious though, how is he?” He asked it casually, a fist against his cheek as he lay on his side. Felix sighed and turned to look up at his friend from the floor where he had been fighting against tight hamstrings and reaching for his toes.

“Why don’t you ask him yourself, he lives here. He’s right down the hall. Go ahead.” After no response and an empty stare from Sylvain, Felix sighed yet again. “He’s alright. Grades are better now. Still got that empty look in his eyes I guess but…” Felix thought over if he should mention this next part to Sylvain considering his friend’s nature. “He seems to be crushing hard on his tutor so that’s new at least.”

“His tutor? So he has a tutor! Hot for teacher eh? Dimitri you sly dog.” Sylvain waggled his brows and Felix looked at him blankly, not even giving a negative reaction to the other boy’s antics. Sylvain wasn’t even aware Dimitri had a tutor? Guess he’d really been avoiding him huh? The thought made Felix feel a tight clenching in his chest that wasn’t a feeling he really wanted to name. His stomach sunk. He knew Dimitri had been kind of unbearable for awhile but to be avoided by friends, now of all times, felt kind of harsh. Then again, Felix probably would’ve avoided him too if he didn’t live in his damn house with him. Pretend all he wanted, Felix knew he himself wasn’t a saint or even a very good friend at that. “Eh, so she must be a real babe huh?”

“Dunno.”

“God! You’re such a kid you know that? You always sound so disinterested. You can’t tell me you’re not even a little curious as to who has caught our young Dimitri’s baby blues? I mean you’ve seen her right?”

“What makes you so sure his tutor’s a ‘she’ huh?” Felix’s words came out with much more bite than he truly meant, though he wasn’t about to take it back now. Sylvain looked just the slightest bit shocked until he quickly masked that expression with a smooth, lazy smile and confused, yet calm, brows.

“Are they not?” Felix huffed at Sylvain's question.

“No they are, but assuming is”—he took a breath—“weird.” He continued his stretching as he tried to hide his expression. He knew that Sylvain didn’t mean anything bad in assuming Dimitri’s preference but it just hit a little too close to home for him. It wasn’t fair for him to be so angry about it but whatever. For being two years older, Sylvain was kind of a dunce when it came to feelings anyways. Then again, Felix was terrible at conveying his emotions too. Two peas in a pod they were. What a laugh.

Unbeknownst to Felix however, Sylvain absolutely had noticed how his friend suddenly squared his shoulders and clenched his jaw. He made a mental note not to assume anything ever about someone’s sexuality, especially around Felix. He also made another note to make sure Felix knew he’d accept and love him regardless of anything.

"I wanna see her.”

Felix wasted no time in answering Sylvain. “No.”

“No? What? Why not?”

“No.” Sylvain whined at Felix’s curt reply. Sylvain couldn’t believe his dearest and bestest friend in the whole world would deny him the opportunity at seeing the object of Dimitri’s affections. Especially when it was the first mention of Dimitri in months that was even just a little positive. He needed to see this tutor. He needed to know what type of woman it took to make Dimitri feel again. He just had to know. It was too juicy not to.

“Please? Please I promise I’ll be good I just want to see her. I won’t even say anything I promise I swear. I’ll stand in the shadows and everything.”

“No.” Felix was adamant, but Sylvain was persistent.

 


 

Eventually Felix gave in and Sylvain made plans to be present on the day Dimitri’s tutor was set to arrive again. Apparently she’d been coming twice a week for a few months now and the realization struck Sylvain hard. Had he really been avoiding Dimitri that much? Yikes. He felt kind of bad, maybe he should talk to the guy more. Yes, that’s what he would do, but first, he had to meet this tutor. There was a time and place for everything after all.

Despite his (empty) promises to Felix, when Sylvain heard the doorbell ring he ran to answer it, beating even Dimitri to the door who was then forced to stand there awkwardly as he saw his taller friend leaning against the open doorframe, arms crossed and eyes flirtatious. In seeing the older boy at the door, confident and ready, Dimitri suddenly felt like a complete child. His heart all but sank. In that moment, he desperately wanted to be older, taller, and much more confident than he was now.

DESPITE ALL OF HIS PROMISES to even himself, Sylvain couldn’t stop his flirtations from flourishing at the sight of a beautiful woman, especially one that he realized couldn’t be much older than him. At first, for some reason, he’d imagined that Dimitri was crushing on a mom type, and he wouldn’t fault him for that as women were beautiful at any age and stage of their lives, but it seemed that was not the case at all. She certainly was something to look at, all wide eyed and innocent but with the air of pride and ferocity that could make even the strongest man crumble. Sylvain found he’d be more than happy to crumble for her. It seemed that their little Dimitri had good taste after all. Surprising, after the kid had shown limited romantic interest in anyone his entire life until now, his best pass at affection being a dagger as a gift to a girl.

“Hello m’lady. How can I help you?” His voice was smooth as butter, smooth as liquid gold, he thought. He winked at the shorter woman in front of him as he waited for her to turn to putty in his very hands. She did not.

“You could move out of the way.” Her voice was firm and at first glance one would think her expression cold, but Sylvain knew better.

“Ah would that I could but I seem to be lost in your eyes. Might you give me directions to find my way out? Perhaps your directions would lead us to a restaurant for a romantic dinner. Say, tonight?”

“I’ve got directions for you,” she crossed her arms, “you’re going to want to make a U-turn to spin around and then you’ll want to move out of the way, cause if you don’t move I can’t get paid.” She paused for a moment as if thinking over something. “Besides you’re like twelve.”

“Twelve? Twelve?! Does this look twelve to you?” He curled his arm to reveal quite the impressive bicep if he did say so himself. Twelve? He was a sixteen year old MAN, not a twelve year old CHILD. How dare she. Was she really saying he looked younger than Felix and Dimitri?

She quirked a brow at him and oh how it set his heart aflame. She was evil, a temptress, but oh he was in love! A love so strong that suddenly a pair of arms were pulling him away, as if the fates themselves had decided to tear Sylvain and this woman apart. He fought with all his might but the grip was intense and Felix was not one to let go when he was determined, especially considering he wasn’t afraid to use his nails.

Byleth entered calmly taking note of how awkwardly Dimitri was standing as he stared at the ground, absolutely expressionless. Felix, she noticed was all but dragging the flirt into the darkness and the image made her chuckle. These kids were kind of crazy but she couldn’t help but enjoy it.

“Don’t worry he’ll be dead soon.” She heard Felix say as his dark eyes met hers, a glint in them made her question if he was joking or not. She wondered if she should intervene but decided against it. Felix then continued to drag the complaining other away.

“My name is Sylvain good lady! Remember it as you’ll be shout-ow. Hey ow! Felix OW. Your nails! STOP-” His voice faded away as Sylvain was presumably dragged further into the darkness by Felix. These kids were wild. Byleth closed the door behind her and walked up to Dimitri who was attempting to stutter out something of an apology for his friend’s behavior. She placed a hand on his shoulder and his eyes immediately shot up to look at her, brows comically high.

“Shall we begin?” She asked, her voice as soft and warm as she could offer, which wasn’t much but she tried. Byleth had to work very hard to hide her laugh as his face instantly went from stark white to beet red. There was something about this kid that really melted her heart, cold and icy as it apparently was. He nodded and quickly turned to lead her to their usual spot in the study.

While initially Byleth would’ve sworn she only did this job for the money, she couldn’t help but admit that she’d kind of come to like Dimitri and his awkward ways. He was a sweet kid and definitely needed some happiness in his life and she’d be glad to give it to him if only she could.

 


 

For Dimitri’s birthday, and with Rodrigue’s permission, Byleth gifted Dimitri a replica of a famous sword he’d gushed about to her when they came across the time period it was from in their history lessons. She hadn’t expected him to know so much about weaponry but was happy to finally have someone to discuss it with, aside from her father of course.

She thought a fake sword a fitting gift to a 15 year old boy, and she couldn’t help but feel she was right when he almost cried at receiving it. She’ll always fondly remember how he quietly asked if he could hug her, face bright red, hands shaking, and lip trembling. She of course said yes, how could she say no? He was warm in her arms, lanky yet small, only just recently starting to hit his big growth spurt. She’d always wondered what it would be like to have a little sibling and figured it had to be something like this. She found that she quite liked it.

She felt his soft bangs against her neck as he snuggled his face into her shoulder. There was the distinct smell of chamomile and just a hint of cinnamon. He really was such a cute kid, she hardly wanted him to grow up. She almost wished that she could hold him like this forever and protect him from all the evil in the world, but she supposed that he’d already been subjected to some of the worst evil that even she had not dealt with, so perhaps he didn’t need help from her.

Later while scrolling through Facebook she noticed that Felix had changed his profile picture to one of him posing with the replica sword. Initially, she had been opposed to accepting the children’s friend requests, but after them constantly pestering her she’d finally relented, and boy was she glad she did. Felix’s post was blessed with simple words in its description: “While you were partying I studied THE BLADE.” In the comments Dimitri angrily noted that that was his sword and not Felix’s and that Felix needed to give it back immediately. Sylvain made a comment about how he had studied the lance instead and that many seemed to enjoy his skills. A girl named Ingrid that Byleth had seen in some pictures simply left a “WTF Felix take this down!!! UR so embarrassing!!” Among many other comments from children she didn’t know, Rodrigue’s own stuck out as it simply said “LOL VERY COOL. Proud of my little warrior boy.” She found herself chuckling loud enough that her father came over to see what was so funny.

Jeralt let out a big dad-guffaw at the dorky sword kid and his lame post. What a hoot. He peered down at his daughter, who was attempting to stop her continued laughing fit as she pointed out the slight photoshopping the boy had apparently added for affect, and he couldn’t help but smile. She’d never been the most expressive kid, didn’t even cry as a baby, so he was happy to see that these little dummies were making her smile.

 


 

It had been nearly a year since he’d fallen desperately in love and while he was still plagued with despair and other teenage things, Dimitri found himself much more willing to participate in life. He’d been hanging out with his friends again, and was doing well in school. Going to therapy had been…a difficult decision, but Rodrigue had given him a lot and since he was the one who asked him to do it, Dimitri felt it only fair. So he finally went. It was helping more than he thought it would. Who knew talking could be so useful? Even more helpful was spending time with Dedue, the boy he’d met who had also been victim to the same tragedy as his own. Bonding through their grief, they forged a deep friendship that helped keep them both going.

Byleth continued to be a ray of light in his life, and he could certainly say he’d never enjoyed learning quite as much before he had met her. She had a way of making it interesting to him, but perhaps that was because everything she did or said was interesting to him. When she had allowed him to hug her on his birthday…well, it would’ve been an understatement to say it was a feeling he wouldn’t soon forget. Her arms, tight and protective around him, the smell of her shampoo at his nose, the push of her breasts against…NO, that was inappropriate of him to imagine, how wrong of him. She was his tutor, his teacher! Though in the dark of the night, when there was no one but his ghosts to judge him, it was possible he imagined it and more.

One afternoon during lunch break Dimitri sat with his friends on the lawn of Faerghus High as he contemplated how to ask a certain question he’d been ruminating on. While Ingrid was schooling Sylvain on horse facts Dimitri suddenly blurted out what he needed to say.

“How do you tell someone you love them?”

There was absolute silence that followed his outburst. Please, he thought, for the love of God someone say anything! Please! Bless Ingrid’s sweet heart as she quietly laughed into her hand and spoke, breaking the tension that had slowly formed. “Mmm, I think you just tell them no? I mean ideally you probably just say you like them first.”

Sylvain had the audacity to scoff at her answer. “Is that a joke?” He crossed his arms. “You can’t just tell someone how you feel. It has to be romantic and grand, it has to show how you feel too. You have to plan it out and prepare yourself. God you’re all such children. ‘I think you just tell them’ give me a break.”

“You’re the senior who’s hanging out with a bunch of sophomores so I mean, call us kids if you want but…” Sylvain glared at Ingrid as she laughed at him.

“Well, I agree with Ingrid. Just tell them.” Felix’s voice surprised everyone.

“No offense Felix,” Sylvain continued his tone light and teasing, “but I’d hardly say your opinion has merit here.”

“As if you”—Felix pointed accusingly at Sylvain—“even know anything about real love. All you know is lust.” His biting remark had too dark a tone to even be considered playful banter anymore. Sylvain swallowed as he frowned and chanced a look at Dimitri.

“There’s someone I have feelings for and…I don’t imagine it will work out but I find myself in agony over keeping it a secret.” Dimitri wasn’t aware that everyone was absolutely clued in on his little crush. He’d made it pretty obvious after all. Even Ingrid had noticed when she saw him liking some woman’s posts all the time online. Still, Dimitri’s friends had already seen him so broken down that they’d rather he think he was keeping his crush a secret. They’d let him hold onto this secret until he cared to share it with them all personally. “I’m no good with my words and I don’t quite understand how to flirt or anything. I can barely look at her without feeling faint! I have no idea how to tell her how I feel.” Suddenly Dimitri felt a soft hand upon his own.

“Dimitri” Ingrid’s voice as tender as her eyes were, “I truly don’t think there is a proper way to tell someone how you feel other than just telling them. Sure you can add flare and whatever else Sylvain here would propose, but in the end, what matters are your feelings and words.” She paused for a moment, her voice much quieter this time. “When…with Glenn we were so young that all he ever gave me was a peck on the cheek and once on the lips…but his words were enough for me. I didn’t need anything grand from him to know how he felt. Sometimes sitting in silence and holding his hand was nice enough.” The group was quiet for a moment. Ingrid tried her best to not speak of Glenn too often, but all could see she was still mourning the loss of a love barely blossomed with a boy she had thought she would grow old with.

“I agree.” Dedue’s voice was hard and solid, something for everyone in the group to grab onto in such a desperate moment. They all turned to look at his solemn face as his eyes flicked to Dimitri. “Just tell them how you feel.” Dimitri paused. Thankful as he was for all of the advice he’d received from his friends, he somehow didn’t feel fulfilled. He still had no answer on how to properly tell Byleth, a woman older and more mature than him, that he was absolutely, desperately in love with her, or maybe he just liked her? He didn’t know. He was barely even a man, how could she take him seriously? She wouldn’t…but he knew she wouldn’t laugh at him either. She would never flat out reject him coldly and that knowledge hurt the most. She’d let him down easy and part of him knew he couldn’t take that kindness. It would absolutely break him. Perhaps he’d just stay quiet about it for a little while longer.

 


 

While he wasn’t quite ready to declare his love, he found out that Byleth’s own birthday was to be next week. She had given him a gift so he should get her one too? It only seemed fair! He wasn’t sure what to get her though and while he wanted to venture a guess, his track record in doing so made him a bit nervous. So he turned to Ingrid, his knight in shining armor, to help him in understanding the ways of women.

“Well, what does she like?” Ingrid had asked.

“Ingrid she’s my tutor, most of what I know of her is school work.” He was wringing his hands as the two sat outside after school waiting to be picked up by Ingrid’s father. Dimitri knew what Byleth liked, but he’d only gained that knowledge from reviewing her Facebook. That information didn’t feel fair. Not for a gift at least.

Ingrid laughed to herself. “And yet you want to get her a gift?”

“It’s,” Dimitri quickly adjusted his loud tone into a more quiet, fitting one for a delicate conversation such as this, “It’s only because she got me one. It would be rude if I didn’t get her one too.”

“Always so polite. Yes so, a gift. Well, what does she wear, can you tell me that much?” Dimitri’s face went entirely red and Ingrid imagined he’d thought all about what she wore, and what she didn’t wear. Ah how hilarious to see her friend so interested in someone like this. But Ingrid wasn’t cruel, not to Dimitri at least, he didn’t deserve that.

“Lace. She likes lace.” He had finally responded.

“Dimitri that’s hardly helpful, a lot of people like lace. I mean, what, are you planning on getting her lingerie or something?” Ok, maybe Ingrid was a little cruel. Just a little. Dimitri all but fell over, speaking nonsense about how ‘he’d never’ and ‘how dare she.’ “Maybe she likes to accessorize? I admit I’m not really the best to ask about that kind of thing. When I saw her she was wearing a lot of black. A hint of color could do her well I guess. Maybe something to remind her of you?” Ingrid thought to the time that she had gifted Glenn a frog she’d found, and in return he ripped part of his shirt and gave her the scrap of cloth to use as a hair-tie. He’d used the rest of his then ruined shirt to wipe the mud from her face as she continued to cradle the frog. She missed him so much, though it didn’t hurt as intensely as it did before. Life goes on after all. 

“Hmm, something to remind her of me? Isn’t that a bit, I don’t know, narcissistic?”

Ingrid rolled her eyes, “Maybe, but if you’re giving someone a gift you ought to make it personal I think, especially if you don’t know what she would even like. Just don’t do a gift card or anything like that.” Dimitri nodded at that, thinking deeply about what he could possibly give his beloved tutor.

 


 

After much deliberation he settled on a pin of sorts. It was small but with a golden accent at the top. It was a simple blue ribbon with some white detailing, almost like a medal of honor, which seemed fitting considering she was a hero in his eyes. He placed it in a small box and included a card. He rewrote the card itself about seven times trying to find the exact right words and settled on something very simple:

 

You’ve offered me a lot of guidance in my life and for that I am grateful. I figured since you gave me a birthday gift it was only right that I return the favor. I thought now a good time to also let you know that you’re an exceptional person and I trust you deeply. I feel lucky to have met you. Happy birthday Byleth.

Thank you always,

Dimitri

 

It had notes of romance but it certainly wasn’t too romantic was it? No not at all. It was much better than his first pass which had essentially been a declaration of his love. That week when Byleth came to help him with his lessons he offered her the box. His hands trembled and he knees clacked together uncomfortably, but he pushed the box delicately towards her across the table, though she was only sitting right next to him. Byleth was certainly surprised but took the box and opened it, reading the card in silence while Dimitri sat there, staring at his hands as they gripped his pants. The silence was almost too much for him, though he would’ve simply died if she’d read it aloud. That dammed flush was creeping up his neck again, as it always did, and he hoped at this point Byleth just thought he had issues with body temperature regulation.

He hadn’t expected the sudden hug she gave him, or for her to nuzzle her nose into his hair and pat him on the back. Much like before, he did what he could to etch this very moment into his memory where it could stay forever. She smelled like vanilla, with just a hint of something else he couldn’t name but it was divine. He melted at her touch, and they sat there together for longer than he thought friends would hug, but that was him just being hopeful, and truthfully it was.

When she pulled away Dimitri noticed a distant look in her eyes that almost seemed as if she wanted to cry. He knew the feeling. In a rush of emotion he suddenly dove back in for another hug, this one stronger. More emotional. More intense. She patted his back and laughed lightly to herself as the boy below her worked to suffocate her in a hug that was surprisingly strong. During their next session she was wearing his pin and he couldn’t help but feel prideful at getting her something that suited her so well.

He knew he should probably tell her his feelings soon, he knew that, he did. Really. She probably already knew his feelings after all. Yet it was hard to gather the courage to do something like that. So hard. Especially when he knew she probably only saw him as a child. Still, he wanted to do it. He’d do it soon. Surely.

 


 

And then, she was gone. She’d been his tutor for almost two years and then she was just…gone. She had barely said goodbye as she left. And she was gone. Leaving a broken hearted boy behind. Obviously Dimitri knew she would eventually graduate and leave. He knew that. But hadn’t she left a bit early? She definitely had since he’d been counting the days until her graduation. He just hadn’t expected it all to be so sudden, and he hadn’t even asked her where she was leaving to. She had deactivated her online profiles only weeks before, telling him it was all too much stress to keep them going. At the time he had admired her for being so courageous, but now he only resented her for cutting him out so thoroughly.

Sure Byleth had only been his tutor, but to him, it was much more than that. She had no idea how much she meant to him and the light she had brought to his life did she? Did she even care to know? How could she know since he never told her? He was a fool. He felt like an absolute fool.

Dimitri thus started his difficult journey through the rest of high school. He continued to mourn and struggle with his internal trauma and when he finally made it to college, he soon lost his way. He’d gotten into Garreg Mach University and now he wasn’t even sure why he wanted to be there. Was it because he somehow thought he’d see Byleth? Of course he wouldn’t. Yet still he wished he would. He felt so stupid, still being enamored with a woman he realized he had known nothing about. He was obsessive! It was crazy. He had thought he’d been in love with her but really it wasn’t that was it? But then he wasn’t sure what it was.

College was…hard. While at first he thought himself mentally well enough to take on the challenge he soon found that he absolutely was not. Dimitri lost himself and then he lost his eye, and that’s when Rodrigue finally stepped in. Felix had been avoiding Dimitri, despite his father’s pleas, and Dimitri didn’t blame him. It wasn’t Felix’s job to take care of him or anything. It wasn’t anyone’s job but Dimitri’s own, and he was failing at it.

Rodrigue moved Dimitri back home to house Fraldarius and helped him commute to his classes every week instead. He got him back into therapy and found him a new tutor. The tutor this time around didn’t give Dimitri that same warm feelings he’d felt with Byleth and he lamented his loss of her again. He was a coward and a mess and he truly felt it.

Despite it all, though hard work, determination, and a lot of support, Dimitri was able to graduate on time with his friends and felt that perhaps life wouldn’t continue to be so hard and that maybe, just maybe, he could do this.

Notes:

AHHHHHH! I'M SO EMBARRASSED! I'll post the next chapters after I review them again and make some edits but MAN. I'm so nervous because I've never felt a fire like this to write fanfic and of course it had to be FE3H bullshit my god. I hope my writing is up to PAR CAUSE DANG. Ok ignore me, sorry I'm BABY