Chapter 1: Falling
You had expected not to open your eyes. You had expected to be dead. You had hoped and prayed you were dead. The odds were in your "favor" as it was. Alphys did say, there was a ninety percent chance it would fail, shattering your Soul in turn.
Relief was all you felt when she told you, her eyes as dead and uncaring as most monsters when she talked about the likelihood of your death.
It was best to fail and die, than to fail and go back to Him.
Your body twitched, coiling into itself as He flashed through your mind. As you curled up, your eyes flickered open already searching for the danger. Already smelling the air for His magic. Already shaking, anticipating His punishment for trying to leave.
Thought… none of that occurred. Your breath caught in your throat as you finally took in your surroundings.
By god, you were home!
Not the prisoned room He had placed you in.
It was actually your home, the apartment you had before monsters overran everything. Slowly and carefully, you sat up. You gazed around with wide eyes as you swung a leg off the bed you had woken up in, your foot gently brushing against the floor. As if afraid that one wrong move would shatter this beautiful illusion.
Tears pricked at your eyes as you sat up, a wide smile stretching across your face as you took in the scene of your room. Has it really been more than two years since you'd last seen this place? It felt like decades.
You stood, legs stretching to their full height. Your arms stretched out above you as tears now freely streamed down your face. Letting out a hoot of victory you jumped around the room, dancing, spinning, crying, and laughing. Your mouth parted and a long victory yell ripped itself from your chest.
As soon as you heard a banging on your wall, you jolted. Dropping to the floor, you wrapped your arms above your head and stood crouched for a moment.
"It's okay, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." You voice echoed across the room before your ears finally picked up on a raised voice on the other side of your walls.
"Keep it down in there or I'm calling the cops!" A croaked ancient voice called as you finally poked your head up, gaze wide.
It was Herbert, your old neighbor. A grumpy old man, who had yelled at you for every bump and noise you had made. You sucked in a breath you hadn't realized you were holding.
Herbert, he had gone out fighting when the barrier fell. Had an old well cared for shotgun that he used when the monsters tried to take him.
You had watched as they ripped out his Soul and devoured it, right there in front of everyone.
But he's alive, and so are you.
"Fuck you Alphys, it worked you bitch!" Your scream echoed across the room, bouncing off the walls in every direction. You felt dizzy with excitement and let out a slightly crazed giggle. You didn't even pay any attention to the pounding on the wall.
"In other news, a child from a local adoption center has gone missing." Your ears picked up the faint sound of the tv, as Herbert presumably turned up the volume. You stood, shakily, a grin trembling on your lips. But you froze in your tracks, and raced over to the wall, pressing your ear to it.
"Locals have been told to keep an eye out for a young, ten year old with short brown hair who goes by the name Frisk Greymore. Already, local police are recruiting members to join in the search parties. To help look for Frisk, please call the number down below. Your help will-" The voice toned out as white noise seemed to fill your ears. You stumbled away from the wall, heading towards the door. Your breath was heavy and harsh in your ears.
No, no, no, nonononono, you had made it! This wasn't fair! You had wanted a timeline without monsters! Without Frisk! Without Him!
Your hand gripped the doorknob and you turned it with such force, you were mildly surprised it didn't break off in your hand. Slamming the door behind you, you staggered down the stairs to the doors leading outside. You knew where Frisk was, and you'd be damned if you didn't try to stop them.
A sharp curse left your lips as a stick dug into your thigh. You jerked away, but already blood was welling up from the cut. About to continue up the mountain, you froze as something caught your eye.
A scar on your ankle.
That couldn't be right, it should have been left behind in that damned timeline. Breath coming in harsh gulps, your hand snaked up your shirt around to your back. Pressing your fingers light, and hesitantly, on the skin your legs nearly gave out as you felt the puckered skin of the long harsh scars.
'They're still there.' You thought dumbly to yourself as you legs automatically started moving once more. You tried to push away the depression and despair that came with this knowledge.
'It doesn't matter. I-I just have to stop Frisk now.' With that thought in mind, you determinedly trekked forward, pushing yourself harder to go up the mountain.
"Frisk!" Eyes wide and chest heaving from dashing up here, you gazed at Frisk who stood before the gapping hole in the middle of a wide cave.
They whirled around, shock lighting up their brilliant amber eyes.
"Who-?" They gasped, before you cut them off.
"Frisk, please, don't do it! Th-they'll kill you Frisk." You croaked out, taking a slow step towards them. You approached them as if you were approaching a wild startled animal.
Their face contorted into that of confusion and concern. "How do you…?" Shaking their head, they gazed down into the dark pit. "I have to." Frisk said, a small sad smile gracing their lips. "They're my friends."
You didn't react fast enough, sure your body moved forward and your hands reached out to grab ahold of the child, but you just weren't fast enough. Watching with despair in your eyes, you saw Frisk pivot backwards into the dark abyss of the hole.
Dropping to your knees at the entrance of said hole, you felt overwhelmed with fear. History was repeating itself. Hand reaching up to run your fingers through your hair, your face contorted into a crumpled mess.
"Damn it!" You cried out, voice echoing across the cave and down deep into the hole.
You couldn't sit around. You had to leave.
Leave before He came back.
'He'll be furious I left.' That thought alone was enough to send fear shooting through your veins and sending you bolting to your feet.
As you shifted your weight, turning to leave, the ground underneath you suddenly shifted with you. Freezing, you paused for a heartbeat too long before you tried to throw yourself away from the edge of the hole.
But the ground gave way under your feet and you were falling. Your hands clawed at the air, trying to find some sort of purchase. As you did, your right hand slammed against something.
You heard the sharp snap before you felt the crippling wave of pain shoot through your wrist.
You passed out, still falling hundreds of feet to your doom.
To the Underground.
Pain is what woke you up. Shooting through your wrist and aching through your head. You curled tightly up into a ball, clutching your hand to your chest. The familiar feeling of a broken wrist grounded you back to reality.
He must've gotten drunk last night. No matter how you acted, He always found some reason to hurt you when He has had too much to drink.
Shifting in what you presumed was your bed, you were mildly surprised to find that between your legs didn't ache.
'Did he pass out before he could do anything?' That was at least one relief.
Eyes cracking open, you expected to be greeted by the sight of His face, sleeping soundly with the scent of mustard and booze clinging to his breath.
You were shocked instead, to find yourself looking at the golden petals of a buttercup flower. Jolting up, you felt more petals cling to your skin and clothing. Looking around, you saw that you were in a small patch of the golden flowers. A very well taken care of patch of buttercups.
"Wha- huh? I-" Head snapping left to right, you searched for any trace of Him, mind clouded with pain and confusion. You cringed as you accidentally jarred your wrist, your stomach dropped from the sharp pain coming from it and you had to force yourself not to gag.
Mind foggy from the pain and bump to the head, recent memories slowly start to rise to the surface.
Alphys. The Lab. Home. Frisk. Falling. Pain. It all came rushing back all at once, making you feel dizzy.
There were so many emotions flickering through you as you stood up on weak shaky legs. But the strongest one, of course, was fear.
You had ran away.
Now He would be furious.
This time you couldn't help the gag that forced its way up your throat. Dropping back down onto your knees, you steady yourself on the ground with your good hand as you bent over and vomit spilled from your lips.
It stung the back of your throat and as it settled on the ground, the scent assaulted your nose. You gagged once more, before spitting what remained in your mouth onto the steaming pile of food and stomach ache.
Your body wobbled and tilted forward, you barely had enough time to lean yourself to the side so you wouldn't faceplant in your own puke. You laid there for a moment, trying to inhale the scent of the buttercups around you, but all you could smell was the mess you made.
It made you feel guilty for ruining something so beautiful.
Hand reaching up to grip at your hair, your knees curled up close to your body as you quietly sniffled pitifully to yourself.
'Pathetic.' You thought harshly to yourself. 'You finally escape and now you're just running back into His arms again. Should we wrap a ribbon around you before you parade yourself to your doom.' The voice snarled in your head as self-hate entrapped you.
Sobbing, you rolled over, away from the disgusting mess you've made, and squeezed your eyes shut. You could have laid there for minutes or hours, you couldn't tell way down in the Underground, before your mind slowly shut off and you drifted into an uneasy slumber.
What woke you this time, wasn't just the pain in your wrist, but also the uncomfortable pain in your stomach. It rolled and twisted, empty with what you went through before you fell asleep. Eyes cracking open, you rubbed away the eye crust with your good hand before using that hand to prop yourself up.
Spitting on the ground in a vain attempt to rid yourself of the taste of bile in your mouth, you shakily got up on your feet.
How long had to been asleep? And unconscious before that?
With how your legs shook as you stood on them, you guessed for some time.
Could you even catch up to Frisk at this rate? The thought filled you with despair. You had to give up before you had even tried.
No, no, you couldn't. Sure, there's no way you could stop Frisk now, but that didn't mean you couldn't escape this damned place unscathed. You just had to avoid an Encounter, you couldn't let them draw your Soul out.
I-if they di-did H-he would- would- shaking, you tried to brush that line of thought away. It certainly would not help you any to dwell on it.
Stepping around the mess you had made, your footsteps softened by the flowers scattered across the cave-like room. Even still, the soft noises your shoes made as they met the ground echoing across the barren room.
Heart pounding in your chest, you slowly made your way to the next room. You felt like any moment He could appear. Out of thin air as He always did.
"Why hello there~ Didn't expect to see another human any time soon." A voice tinkered across the room, causing you to jump.
Wait… wait- wait wait wait wait. You knew that voice.
"You're new to the Undergr-"
"Flowey!" You half shrieked, half sobbed, as you raced across the open room to the yellow petaled flower. Kneeling, you threw your arms around the shocked monster.
"Hey~ What the hell are you doing ass-?"
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, please I'm sorry." Cutting off his sentence once more, you blathered out your apology, your voice nearly hysterical.
"I-I didn't think," You gasped through your sobs "If I ha-had thought he'd k-kill you, I wo-wouldn't have…" Your voice faded away as sobs wreaked your body.
You felt vines pulled you away from him, even as you tried to cling tighter to him.
"Kill me…? Who the hell are you ~?" His childlike voice didn't match the words he spoke. Yet, you knew Flowey had a potty mouth.
Chuckling weakly, you glanced down at Flowey as he not so gently dropped you to the ground. It's okay. You deserved it.
You did get him killed after all.
"You don't remember? I'm Y/n." The next words that left your lips, left without thought. Flowey didn't remember, but you didn't think how badly he'd react to a stranger saying this.
"Your best friend."
The words had just escaped your lips right before you felt a sharp stinging pain in your throat. You desperately tried to drag in air as your fingers attempted to rip at the thorn speckled vines now wrapped around your neck.
" You don't look like Chara to me. " Flowey's tinkering giggling vibrated through your entire body as he strangled you.
He sounded utterly pissed off.
Your mouth gaped open and shut, fingers twitching weakly as you clung to his vine. All that could be heard was the strangled gasping noise coming from your own mouth.
Flowey's vines tightened even more and even that couldn't be heard from you any longer. Black dots were starting to form in your eyes and you dropped your hand back down to your side.
'I'm gonna die.' You thought dimly to yourself as your consciousness started to fade away. Surprisingly, you weren't all that disappointed by that fact.
Flowey had every right to kill you. It was almost a relief to die by his hands… um vines.
Plus, now you wouldn't ever have to see Him again.
The thought made you smile.
"Huh~ what the hell are you smiling about-? AGGHH!" The vines suddenly faded away from your neck. Dropping to your knees in a crumpled mess, your body automatically attempted to suck in a breath of air. You panicked as nothing came in, your vision was still fading. You tried once more, a weak stream of air made its way past your abused throat and to your lungs.
You pitched backwards, barely noticing the way your head thumped against the ground. You were too busy carefully drawing in each breath and cradling your wrist to your chest.
"Oh my, what a horribly miserable creature." A soft spoken voice rang in your ear. Your head turned towards it, but you found you couldn't muster the energy to open your eyes. "To torture everyone who crosses its path. My child, are you alright?" You felt movement against your side as whoever spoke knelt down.
"'m fin." You had whispered and still the words seemed a struggle to get out.
"Shh, don't speak anymore little one. Let me carry you back to my home. I will tend to your injuries." The voice was so soft and gentle. It reminded you of your mother's, when she was alive. The thought made your heart ache.
Picking you up, you laid snug in your savior's arms.
But… were they really your savior? You hadn't wanted to be saved. You had not wanted Flowey to get hurt either. God, you hoped he was okay.
How strange, to hope your would be murderer was okay.
"It is okay now, I will care for you." The voice said softly as a furred finger brushed across your cheek, wiping away tears you hadn't realized had fallen.
With a choked wheezed sob, you curled towards the unknown creature and buried your face in their fur before crying yourself to sleep.
Carrying the young child across the near empty ruins, Toriel took into account your appearance for the first time. So concerned with chasing that damned flower away, she had not even realized your age.
You certainly were not a child. More so a young woman, which greatly surprised her. All the Fallen had been children, Tori had yet to even see a grown human in person.
Strangely, you had first seemed a child when she laid eyes on you. There was something delicately fragile about you. As if at any moment you could break.
That thought alone caused Toriel to be more cautious of the grip she held on you.
Feet moving along the familiar path, she quickly passed each memorized puzzle. She must hurry home to tend to your wounds.
As they walked she took into account each injury. There was, of course, the forming bruising around your neck. She had also noticed the way you had shielded one of your hands.
Shifting you to hold you in one arm, Toriel carefully picked up said hand and eyed it. You groaned in your sleep and she quickly, but gently, laid your hand back down. Seems a broken wrist.
Toriel would have to check you over more carefully when they got to her house.
For now, you needed rest.
*wheezing* hello my beautiful lovelies, excuse me while I just die over here
Thebananahasspoken, the author of Dalliance, actually bookmarked MY story
I am shookthed
Anyways my sweets, do tell me what you think of the story thus far
We won't be seeing Blue until a few more chapters, and we still have a long ways to go until Red comes along to fuck shit up
So look forward to the torment I'm gonna put Reader through! Don't fret through, there will be tons of fluff in store for her ^_^
Chapter 3: Caretaker
Author-chan is suppose to be working on Unpleasant SANSation 😅
She is doing very poorly on that
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
You weren't the least bit disoriented when you woke up this time. You remembered someone 'saved' you, offered to tend to your wounds, and then picked you up and presumably took you to their home.
You knew this, but you didn't know who the monster was. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, though certainly not His . You would know His angry rough voice anywhere. You had become accustomed to carefully listening for it by your door, to mentally prepare yourself for when you heard Him come home.
Although you knew that voice wasn't His, you didn't know if the owner of the voice knew Him. If they did, then you were already screwed.
Which is why, even though you've been awake for an hour or more, you laid on what felt like a bed with your body relaxed and breathing deep. Pretending to sleep to avoid whatever you saw when you woke.
Ha, it's not like you've ever said you were brave or anything.
Forcing yourself not to twitch as you heard the door creep open, your ears strained, focusing on the newcomer. Soft steps were heard, approaching the bed you laid on. You couldn't stop yourself from trembling as a gentle soft hand laid itself on your forehead.
"Young lady, are you awake?" The soft spoken voice from earlier broke the silence as you continued to shake. "Are you quite alright? Are you cold?"
Your eyes flickered open, unable to stand the not knowing any longer, and you flinched away from who you found above you. Christ, it would have been better not knowing. It wasn't Him, but that didn't make her any less terrifying.
Toriel, the Queen.
Vicious, uncaring, and heartless.
You had never met her in person before this, but you had heard whispers of her cruel deeds from both monsters and humans alike, that was before you had caught His eye and were locked away from everyone and everything of course.
Your jaws opened, ready to let out a scream, what little good that would do you. But all the left your bruised and aching throat was a low squeak of fear. Pressing yourself deeper into the bed, your hands lifted outwards against your chest. As if you, a mere human, could have any hope to defend yourself against a savage monster.
"Please." The word left in a small puff of air, barely audible in the still air. "No hurt, please." The words were a struggle to get out, each one scraping painfully against your throat. And for what? To beg for MERCY from someone who enjoys others misery?
The worst part of it though, you knew she wouldn't kill you. Toriel knew Him, hell everyone knew Him. The infamous Judge, the rule, the finder of the Last Soul.
Savior of the monsters.
Devil to the humans.
The Queen might hurt you yes, maybe take a few fingers for bothering her so, but even she knew the dangers of killing something that was His. And He did tend to hold a grudge.
"Oh you poor thing." You jolted in your spot, shocked to hear that same sweet soft-spoken voice she used. It felt so deceiving. "Don't you fret young lady, not all monsters are like that flower monster. Why, most of us are very kind."
Lies. All lies. Liar. You fucking liar.
"You do not need to be afraid anymore."
Liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar, liar!
"Although we wish to go to the surface, known of us would wish a human harm. At least, not here in the ruins. Certainly not I."
L I A R
You hadn't even realized you had sat up until your fingers were bunched in her fur. Red hot anger overflowed your emotions, completely blotting out your fear. Face twisted in an ugly sneer, you lifted your other hand and struck her across the chest. You didn't notice that was your hand with the broken wrist until you felt the sharp jolt of pain.
You didn't care.
You hit her.
Again, again, again, againagainagainagain againagainagainagain.
You couldn't stop, you had to hurt her. Hurt her like they hurt humans. Hurt her like He hurt you. You didn't stop until her furred paws were clutching your wrists, gently for your broken one, and holding them in the air.
You were sobbing hysterically, gulping in giant breaths of air just to sob some more.
"My stars!" She exclaimed, her voice cracking as if she were on the edge of tears herself.
No, monsters don't cry. They're heartless.
"Young lady, please you're hurting yourself. Please stop." Toriel cried out as you thrashed against her hold. It didn't matter. You don't care. This nasty bitch of a Queen would bring you back to Him again.
Suddenly though, you did stop. Not because you wanted to, but because a sudden wave of exhaustion came over you. Out of nowhere you felt like you mind was being forcefully dragged into sleep. You struggled, in a vain attempt to stay awake, but all that succeeded was a slight twitch of your arm.
"I'm sorry, I did not want to force magic onto your Soul." You heard Toriel say, sounding regretful as she spoke. "Please sleep little one, perhaps you will calm down in the morning."
And then everything drifted away, back into the peaceful land of sleep.
You woke up, wide awake and eyes flicking open.
Strangely, you couldn't move.
Heart already thumping fearfully in your chest, you glanced up to find both your wrist firmly tied to the bedpost. You struggled to sit up, taking notice in the fact that your wrist had been wrapped tightly and placed in a cast.
"You are awake I see." You flinched as Toriel stepped through the doorway, a streaming bowl held in her giant paws. "I'm very sorry about the restraints. You came to once, and started harming yourself again." You didn't remember that, yet you did see the forming of some new bruises along your arms.
"Wha' are you gonna do t'me?" You choked out the garbled words, back finally resting against the bedpost. Toriel approached, much to despair.
"For starters, feed you. I don't wish to be attacked again, though you left little damage, so for the time being please tolerate the restraints." Sitting down on the bed beside you, Toriel looked down on you with a worried expression.
"This must seem like a rather awful experience my dear. Attacked by, what you thought to be a fictional monster and now held captive by another." Toriel chuckled, one that held no humor but plenty of pity. "But I assure you, I only want to help you." Dipping the spoon into the bowl, Toriel blew gently on what looked like soup before holding the spoon to your mouth.
Your stomach gurgled at the sweet scent wafting off the silverware and your mouth seemed to open on its own. Plopping the spoon into your eager mouth, you nearly moaned at the taste. It tasted sweet, like thick apple cider, with a pleasant amount of cinnamon and what tasted like whipped cream.
Relaxing against the post with your eyes closed, you let the large furred creature feed you until the bowl ran empty. Your mouth had popped open for another bite, though your shrunken stomach was aching in protest, but none came.
Peeking open your eyes, they flickered away uncomfortably as you saw the gentle warmth in Toriel's eyes. "I know you must be hungry young lady, but we mustn't overfeed you or you might be ill."
"Do you…?" You started, head turned away completely from her. Your eyes stared intently at a small you laying across the room on the floor. "Do you know me?" The words came out timidly, yet you found you could speak easier after you had eaten.
"Of course not, we have yet to exchange pleasantries." She said, a soft laugh in her voice. "My name is Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. May I ask your name?"
She didn't remember you? The thought left you dizzy with relief. Now you knew for sure, no one would know you in this timeline.
"I-I'm (Y/n)." You whispered and Toriel smiled widely as she leaned over towards you. You panicked briefly, jerking away as far as you could, until her nimble little paws began working at untying the cloth that bond you in place.
As soon as you were free, your hands came up protectively against your chest. Toriel stuck a paw outwards, towards you. "A pleasure to meet you Miss (Y/n)."
Looking at the outreached paw like it was going to morph into little vipers, you cariously stuck your good hand out towards hers. She grabbed a hold of it, completely engulfing your hand in hers as she shook it.
"A pleasure indeed Miss (Y/n)." Toriel said, eyes shining brightly.
Perched on, what you presumed to be the living room floor you watched Toriel walk across the floor swiftly and elegantly going about her business. Everytime she took a step towards you, you jerked away. Whenever she tried to speak to you, you would flinch. You were hypersensitive to her every move, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Strangely enough, she had been nothing but kind to you. It was suspicious and unnerving, yet even though tried to keep your guard up it was softening you just a little bit towards her.
Accepting a cup of homemade tea from Toriel, you scooted back until your back hit the front of the couch. You leaned on it, watching the steam drifting from out of your cup.
It was almost hilarious how quickly and easily you were warming up to her. Just the other day you attacked her, now you were sitting here drinking tea with her. To be fair, it had been some time since anyone had shown you any kindness.
"Might I ask Miss (Y/n), how did you come to be in the Undergrounds." Toriel asked, sitting across from you with her open cup of tea. Taking a small sip of your own, you felt the warmth of it travel throughout your body and instantly felt more relaxed.
"I-I came looking fo-for someone." You mumbled, slumping in on yourself, your hair falling forward and blocking your eyesight. "I fell in after them."
Toriel suddenly leaned forward, eyes very intent on you. "Oh stars, do you mean Frisk?"
Your head shot up, heart pounding in excitement. Could Frisk be here? Could you still have time to stop this? "Yes, yes! Them! They fell in, have you seen them?!"
Toriel's face crumbled at the question and she sat back in her chair with a weary sigh. "Yes, but sadly they parted ways with me three days ago. I tried to warn the sweet child, outside these ruins can be a very dangerous place for a human. Yet, they were DETERMINED to reach the surface."
Your own face fell, along with the shimmer of hope that had fluttered in your chest. Clenching your hands tightly onto your knees, you did your best to control the dark emotions from sweeping you away with your disappointment.
"I know you must wish to go after them Miss. (Y/n)." Toriel said softly.
You nearly laughed aloud at that. Toriel would have to drag you kicking and screaming out ruins if she thought you needed to go any place He might be.
Though really, where could you go?
You couldn't go back.
The only way was forward.
God, please no.
"But, I really must advise against that." Toriel started again. Leaning over, she gently placed her teacup onto a coffee table beside her chair. "The monsters are known to be hostile towards humans outside these ruins." Her voice was sad as she spoke.
"So, please Miss. (Y/n). Why don't you stay here with me? Keep an old lady some company." Looking up, you saw Toriel was looking away her face already holding some type of expectancy.
She thought you were going to say no.
"I'd love to."
Choosing between a Queen who was rumored to be cruel, ruthless, and half-mad in your timeline
Psycho goat mama for the win
"Toriel…?" You said hesitantly, still seated on the ground beside the chair.
"Please Miss. (Y/n), call me Tori." The giant furred woman said warmly, taking another sip of her cooling tea. She had been overjoyed with the knowledge that you wanted to stay.
"T-tori," You mumbled, nearly wincing as you said it. You never would have thought to be on a first name basis with the Queen of all monsters, and calling her by a nickname at that. "Um, I w-want to wash up… may I…?" Peeking up at Toriel, you relaxed just a bit at the gentle look on her face.
"Of course my dear, I'll prepare you a towel and a change of clothes." Standing, Toriel pointed down a hall. "It is down that hall, right beside the room you had woken up in."
You scurried to your feet as they carried you quickly to the bathroom. You had to be sure. You needed to be sure.
Hands shaking as you reached the door, you opened it and quickly shut it behind you. You stood for a moment in complete darkness, until you finally found the courage to flip on the light switch.
You saw yourself in the mirror.
Sunken eyes, dark shadows underneath them, lines of stress etched into your skin. You looked horrible.
Without wasting a second, you peeled off both your shirt and bra. The shirt smelled of vomit so you were glad to be rid of it. Though it was hard to remove with just one able hand. Looking at yourself in the mirror with wide eyes, you slowly turned around until your back came into view.
As soon as it did, your legs buckled and you slid to the ground. Silent tears fell from your eyes.
The scar was still there.
It was supposed to be gone.
It was supposed to reset.
Wrapping your good arm around your legs, you rocked yourself back and forth on the floor. In a vain attempt at comfort.
Does that mean you were still used ? Disgusting both inside and out?
The thought made your throat fill with bile and you feared you were gonna be sick again. You really hoped not. That soup Toriel had made was very pleasant.
Trembling like a leaf, you made your way over to the shower, stripping off your pants and underwear as you did. When you got in, you turned the knob to hot water. It stung as it hit your skin and instantly made you feel better.
As you washed, you found yourself scrubbing feverishly at your back. So much in fact, that some of the skin broke and started to bleed. You had ignored the pain and scrubbed harder, as if that could erase the memory or the scar.
No, in truth, you probably just made it uglier.
By the time you were done, your skin was tingling unpleasantly from the hot water, and a few trinkles of blood were flowing down your back. It made you feel sick.
You dressed quickly, seeing Toriel had set out an outfit and towel while you showered. It unsettled you how you didn't even hear her come in.
Looking at yourself in the mirror, you quickly realized the clothes you wore couldn't possibly be Toriel's. The sweater you wore, even though it hung down to your upper thigh, was far too short for the larger creature. Plus, this was a striped sweater, obviously made for some child.
Picking nervously at a loose thread on the sweater, you jerked up the shorts as they kept creeping down past your hips. Why would Toriel have children's clothing?
Did she have a child of her own?
You tried in vain to remember but came up blank. When they Surfaced, there was no other goat like monster aside from the Queen and King. Certainly not a Prince or Princess at that.
Shaking your head roughly to rid yourself of those thoughts, you pushed open the door to head to the living room. It did you no good to think of the Toriel in your last timeline. You needed to get your bearings on this Toriel.
You really hoped she was as good and kind as she seemed.
You desperately hoped.
"Oh." Toriel spoke, her paws reaching up to cover her mouth. You glanced up and were surprised to see tears swimming in her gaze. She hastily wiped at her eyes as you watched her warily.
"My apologies Miss (Y/n), just those clothing belonged to my son when he was alive." Picking up a napkin, Toriel dabbed at her eyes. Her voice was thick with emotion.
You felt your heart soften at that little bit of information. It must be terrible to lose your own child. In a way, you could understand what she was going through.
"I'm sorry." You whispered earnestly. Swallowing what little pride you had left, you walked over to her and wrapped your shaking arms around her. You really hoped she wouldn't kill you.
"I-I know ho-how you feel. My mom died… a long time ago. You never really get over that kind of thing." Your voice had softened, a note of sadness entering when you spoke about your mom. You were seven when she developed cancer, twelve when she died. It's been years, but the wound still felt as fresh as if it had happened yesterday.
Letting out a soft sigh, Toriel shifted to embrace you as well, being mindful of your wrist of course. You relaxed in her hold, sighing against the soft cotton like texture of her fur.
Relaxing against her, you let your eyes flutter shut as she held you. Humming softly to yourself, you let your hand move up and down on her shoulder, marveling at the softness of her fur.
It was so comfortable you felt you could fall asleep right there. You probably would've fallen asleep if Toriel hadn't suddenly let out a loud gasp. Her hand suddenly pressed against your back, and you let out a sharp hiss as pain pulsed through one of the many spots you had rubbed open across your back.
"My chi- Miss (Y/n), you're bleeding! Oh goodness, here let me tend to you." Toriel had turned you around before you had even realized it and was already started to inch the large shirt up.
You couldn't let her see how tainted you were.
You spun around, backing away and clutching at the shirt. "I can do it!" You all but yelled. Toriel looked surprised at your outburst, her eyebrows knitted together in mother like concern.
It made your heart ache with longing for your own mother.
"Please Miss (Y/n), the angle will be difficult for you to properly clean it." She reached for you yet again.
"I said I got it!" You snarled, feeling an unfamiliar red hot anger flooding through you as you slapped the hand away. "Don't touch me! Don't touch me, you freak! You monster! Stay the hell away from me! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" Tears were streaming down your face.
Why were you saying this to Tori? She was so gentle, so kind, so hopeful.
Yet, you were feeling so angry. Every voice of reason was drowned out by that anger. It coursed through you, blocking everything out.
All you saw was an angry scarlet as you turned on your heels and stormed back to the room Tori had so kindly given to you.
Once the anger had finally faded, the guilt set in.
You cried yourself to sleep that night.
Toriel's ears pricked up, stiffening in the silence that the ring of your heartbreaking sobs had left. It seems you had finally fallen asleep. Her very SOUL ached for you.
That anger in your eyes, that malice in your, Toriel had only known you for two days yet she always knew that wasn't you. The tears you had cried, for hours on end, when you had stormed off to the room, had been laced with guilt.
Something had caused this, Toriel knew in the very depth of her SOUL you were a good person. Yes, you had attacked her and had said such heartbreaking things to her. Yet, it felt like that anger, though directed at her, wasn't because or even for her.
Sighing heavily, Toriel slumped in her chair. Rubbing her eyes with her furred paws, she kept her hand there to block out the light from lamp beside her.
Something about you reminded her, horribly, of Chara.
Chara had been deeply troubled. Acting out, hitting monsters, screaming, having all sorts of fits were common for the problematic child. Toriel had later learned that Chara had been severely abused by her 'family.' Sometimes there were certain things that would just set Chara off, there had also been things that had left them flinching and huddled in a corner.
Chara had been beaten so often, their mind had been fixated on that abuse. Turning everything into either something to be angry about, or something to fear.
The way you acted, it made Toriel wonder.
Who on earth had hurt you so badly?
How can you start to love when your heart is filled with fear and hate?